im really jealous of my friend. shes super popular and nice to everyone and everyone loves her. i never spend any time actually alone with her, and if i do she always ignores me and goes on my phone. it used to just be us 2 but she clearly doesnt want that anymore. i dont blame her, she has so much fun with other people who are 100x more outgoing and funny than me, but it still hurts. i know i should be happy for her but its really hard, i just want things to go back to how it was
Same, except I made her "popular". Her "best-friends" were mine first, Her boyfriend was mine first. i hate it. she get all of the attention. why cant someone love me like everyone loves her and the worst thing is i still forgive her. every. single. time. :(
I personally have never gone through this but that seems like one of the worst feelings having your best friend slowly get more popular and start to leave you behind especially when your an introvert and your clinging onto your friend like there your life support (idk of you also do that but I definitely do) sometimes I feel like I make my friend’s live worse but I can’t break out friendship because I need them
i can relate to this, we were the best of friends but then she just wanted to end it. I still go through our messages just to figure out why she wanted to end it suddenly
I know right? I have really bad memory so usually I forget all my trauma and bad life experiences. Like, completely. I forget the aftereffects, not the actual experiences, so instead, my trauma becomes my personality and it ends up not being my real personality, just my fears. So me too, whenever I watch these compilations, I suddenly remember what made me into the person who I am now. Is it the same for you?
When it comes to the youngest person in the family (me), every problem gets put on me due to my older sibling already who already ruined their expectations. What people don’t realize with younger siblings is that if the oldest fail, they can always LOAD expectations on the youngest, and if the youngest fail, there’s nobody to turn to for more. We can’t fail. (It’s different for every family but the youngest is not always the well treated one like everyone says so.
As a younger sibling and the youngest in my whole family I can understand how you feel when it comes to that experience. And the other thing is people babying you 24/7 and family gatherings are my biggest concerns because everyone rushes to me, but my dad’s always by my side because he know I have social anxiety. But yeah when your the youngest all the expectations go to you.
Exactly! As the youngest child, all the shit always gets dumped on me, and everything is always my fault. There's a difference between teasing your child and actually making them feel uncomfortable. 💔 My family and I would have a rule when I was younger, "if im not laughing it means the joke is not funny" then my mom decides to say something that makes me insecure. I always have to take in humiliation, gaslighting, beatings, and high expectations without excuses. While my brothers just have to be good examples because i look up to them.
3:10 I’m now going to turn 12 and this has been going on for at least 5 yrs 5:53 everyone is like this in my life except I wish I had a brother 8:04 a lot of kids compare me to her 8:54 I always have to or else I’ll be seen different, like someone for anyone to vent to and I don’t want that 9:39 it’s always going to be my sisters way but I just accept it 11:27 my parents never noticed it when I was 4 because I’m that much of a liar 11:36 I was always told by my older sister “it’s rather go and cry about it or are you gonna play” when I turned 5. I’m now a literal bully. I hate it sm but it’s why I have some of my friends. I’m violent towards others and I wish I weren’t, I wish I didn’t have to be mean in order to have respect
when i was the youngest sibling i was told"be more careful" or "YOUR THE ONE THAT BROKE IT" ,and i always got blamed, and got hated on i got told " GO AWAY" or " I HATE YOU B!TCH", and got call stupid and an idiot and belived it, i felt like i could never fail, and that i was going i love myself when i was older but i would never love myself,plus i was always called at school "pick me" because i would vent to someone all bout my problems but i tell myself "im prefect" "im loved'', but then someone ever since 3rd grade i got hated on because of this girl named aylin please do not hate on anyone named aylin everyone would never talk to me i'd been called weird or" dont talk to her shes so f4 weird" and the only person that would actually talk to me and would listen is my best friend: if i find this again ill talk abt my life now
It's okay. And its good to have a best friend who listens and understands. There may be voices in your head that tell you "The other students and classmates are right. You ARE weird and a pick me. Get a f4ing life." But, don't listen to them, you have someone who cares, and can tell you the truth. Your brain and thoughts are a enemy and a friend,or take, poison that tastes good. It is tasteful but slowly drains you, scraping away your self love and productivity from the inside out. That's why you have to choose to not drink it or not listen. You mustn't listen to the voices or the students who are ants hiding in a scorpion costume. It's okay, and I hope you can look back at this as a bump in the road of life.
Talking about venting I have horrible social anxiety and major depressive disorder from being bullied for all of my elementary/middle school life and one of the worst emotional experiences I’ve had was asking my crush out on Valentine’s Day then being publicly humiliated and shamed by her then later that day her friends yelled at me for embarrassing her 😞 people can be so so cruel
Me as a first born child, I have to be mature at such a young age, and I'm tired to be my parent expectations bc I was told to be a role 4 my siblings and sometimes I got jealous of how my parent treat my younger siblings.
⚠️VENTING (please give advice if you have any❤️) -My bestfriend pisses me off constantly and for no reason, she could simply ask a question and I’d curse her out and get mad, idk why and I want it to stop. I can easily not curse at her or slap her, but I cant make the thoughts of hurting her and being mad at her go away. I always thought she was my person, but if I’m having those thoughts about her, is she really? idk I just need some closure
I had a period of time where I was like this with my friends too. It was because of a bunch of tiny bad things and they weren’t doing any good things to hide them like normal. People change and you grow out of someone. It’s ok not for them to be your bff for the rest of your life.
This can be some bad unspoken anger/ anxiety or stress. I would try a stress toy. They help me through my violent tendency’s but everyone is different. I hope you get situated.
0:10 I’m scared but excited to go back tbh. Everyone there hates me and makes fun of me but I need to be back on a schedule. I feel like the bullying is going to get worse this year since my school friends left me for the popular kids. I feel like she’s going to start to bully me too and I’m scared someone is going to hurt me. But yk, college will be better
I have a bsf who i've been friends for more than 5 years, last was very tough for me and she was the only reason I was coming to school until recently. All of my friends (including my bsf) did this 'prank' on me where one of the friends took me to the school ground and told me some shit abt my bsf to which I didn't reply much and just said some good stuff abt her ig, so at the end of the day my bsf came to me and told that it was a prank and they just wanted to see what I would say,. Which meant it was trust test and it hurt me a lot bc why did she not trust me when we were friends for so many years but I still forgave her. During that time me and another friend from the group (lets call her W) became really close so, on Sunday another two friends of mine called me and said that I should stop hanging out with W bc my bsf was getting jealous and the only thing I said was ok, after that my bsf was talking to me abt it and say like "yk for the past 1month u have been really hurting me, idk how but u r" and she told some more stuff, after that she said sorry to me and so did I. And you are probably like she is ur bsf, if u hang with another friend more than her then obiv she will get jealous, but let me tell, she was the one who was friends with the whole group first not me, so technically to her having her own friends is ok but not me. I feel like I am being dramatic abt it tho.
so.. I don't lose friends very often, mainly because I don't have a lot, so when I do lose a friend it's very hard for me. I just lost my best friend yesterday because of the sick jokes people make about us. They would always say we were dating and my friend said something about me being his girlfriend, even after I've told her numerous times it makes me and him uncomfortable. Yesterday he told me that he just wasn't going to talk to me for the rest of the year due to the "jokes". Right before that he decided to say that I have a crush on someone that sits beside me. I get where he's coming from considering i struggle talking to him, can't look him in the eyes, and try to avoid anything that has to do with him. He also did it because my friends are the ones making the "jokes" therefor I am including in the people who make the "jokes". I really enjoyed being friends with him, but everything must come to an end.. right?
I was at camp and the boys kept making fun of my language/religion, being racist and calling me a teachers pet because I was talking my home language to my felicitators. So it still kinda hurts but I’m glad that they got in trouble. Ty for reading this far and hearing me out. Bye have a good day/night!💙
Я благодарю вас за загрузку! Делаю мои ночи лучше, потому что я все равно не могу уснуть. “I thank you for uploading! Making my nights better because I can’t sleep anyways.” берегите себя все!
vent: i’m tired of everything and everyone. everyday at school my friends take my stuff or annoy me, i say stop and then they mock me like “stOOOPPPP” and then they ask why i’m annoyed at them. i literally just want my younger life back. my parents shout at me everyday, i cry everyday and too make it worse i’m the youngest child so i have all the pressure on my shoulders. i’m so tired of my life and you guys are literally the only one who understands me. .
I realized today that my parents have touch-starved me and give me judgmental looks when I hug them or my siblings and just try to be a kid... I just want a hug, is that so hard? :,/
I once saw my mom cry I was about to come tell on my siblings but stopped because I saw her I just went to hug her I was too young to understand. I want to make her feel better but I can't even make myself feel better
4:11 - I may sound stupid, but are these symptoms of a disorder like anxiety or depression? Because I think I have both, (definitely anxiety) and those sound EXACTLY like me. I’m trying to give myself a self diagnosis bcs I can’t go to a therapist or anything.
I feel so shitty lately and I feel like I have no purpose in life and I feel like nobody understands me. I feel insecure at school and I hate how happy I look and try to act but inside I feel dead and horrible. I feel pressured and I feel like the whole world is on my shoulders and I feel that I have to make decisions about everything. I’m worried about my family and my mom and I want people to like me and I want people to understand me and hear my crying for help. I’m tired of being second choice for everything and I’m tired that my friends keep replacing me after I have been there for them with everything. I wanna kms but I don’t have the courage to because I know that at least one person out here actually cares. I want my friends to stop keeping me out and shutting doors in my face. I wish I could stop watching vent TikTok’s so that I could understand that people out there actually relate to me. I want someone to hear my screams of help and I want them to see that I’m drowning. I’ve tried therapy and I’ve tried to think that I’m happy and even that can’t cure anything. I’m tired of crying and said that I’m an attention seeker and I’m tired of doing workouts to have an hour glass so people don’t judge me. I want to stop crying and being dramatic. I want to feel good about myself and I want to be prettier like everyone else. I WANT PEOPLE TO LOVE ME!!! I want to be understood and I want to be respected and not just considered a therapist friend and then shoved to the side for other people. I want my family to listen to me and I want to let people know that I’m trying my hardest and I want people to know that when I say I’m fine IM NOT FUCKING FINE. ALL OF THIS SHIT STARTED WHEN I WAS FUCKING NINE YEARS OLD. I hate myself for being self conscious and I hate that I have to tell myself I’m going to be okay even though I know I’m not going to be. I hate everything about my self and I hate that I’m not someone’s favorite person. I hate that nothings going to be okay after everything I’ve been through I hate my self and I hate everyone around me but then everything just clears up and I’m happy again. But the next day everything just goes downhill. I hate when people ignore me , I hate how people thing that I’m happy and that I’m always ok. I hate how I cry myself to sleep and I hate everything about me, I hate my curly hair and I hate my skin and I wish I was prettier. I hate how I think I’m okay and in reality I’m just broken. I hate how I have panic attacks everywhere and I just try to cover it by going to the bathroom. I hate how everyone thinks I’m pretty but I’m really not. I hate how my life is right now. Whenever people ask me if I’m okay I barely have and answer. I hate my life. I hate that I don’t have a bsf that I could tell anything to. I hate how whenever somebody asks me if they can vent instead of saying I am dealing with my own shit right now I say ofc go ahead. I hate venting because I don’t want to be a burden. I hate how my parents expect me to be perfect and I hate how boys don’t like me. I hate how I keep trying but end up sinking deeper. I hate how people think they understand me but they don’t. I hate everything and everyone. I’m insecure about my height and I’m insecure about every goddamn thing about me. I hate how I’m lazy and I hate how I’m venting and I hate this and I hate everything and I know I keep saying that but it’s just the truth. I hate myself
When ever I try to be funny or loud and funny it never works all I get is a cold,dead stare right back at me and now Im just starting to think I should just be emotionless.but...wait...that would get me severely judged too huh...?
I'm normally quiet,awkward and strange but I don't get judged maybe I have a bit but that's everyone, everyone gets judged atleast once whether they hear it or not
Crying is contagious with elders. All of your life you thought of them as a strong figure, not really knowing their childhood. That’s why when they cry your vision of them is suddenly shattered. The person you thought they were was just a lie.
vent:if u have advice or don’t want to hear or read a vent then scroll away,instead of giving hate. i always get made fun of,since 1st grade.I got used to it,but i would never expect them to hurt me physically. So i had this friend L(Female)and she had lots of friends :M,Ln and E(im using their first alphabet of their name for privacy)And i knew L since the start of 4th to 5th grade (i think ?)and so at first she was Ok,but not really.At some point she would call me names and tell me ,,shut up’’ ,,no one cares’’ ,,and,no one asked ‘’ even tho i wasn’t talking to her i was talking to another classmate about how something broke(my bottle or something)and then she said ,,And?No one asked so u shut up ‘’and i told her ,,i wasn’t talking to u !?’’ and she talked about how her life is hard because one of her friends didn’t hang out with her because she was busy,i just was mad. So what happened today (20.01)was that after sports ,we have to go change to our normal outfits ,and we dress up in a closet ,so at my way ,M kicked me in the back of my foot ,i looked at her and just ignored it,THEN she did it again and M and L were laughing.It almost made me cry,i was speechless ,hurt and i was sad ,i wanted to punch them,push them from the stair,THROW THEM TROUGH THE WINDOW WHERE THEY SPY ON A BOY THEY HAVE A CRUSH ON . I told L (on whatsapp) that i wasn’t ok with people laughing and hurting me ,she didn’t respond nor did she see it ,But i just hope she apologizes.
Cause: Hey, some people do that because they have stuff going on (eg family issues hatred or jealousy) or they've bottled their feelings too much and yelling/making fun of others makes them feel better Advice: *talk to them *unfriend them *ask yourself why they might do that *figure out why they're doing that I know this might not be the best advice but please try! :)
I have social anxiety and a couple of weeks ago we had to present a essay in front of the class and it was my turn and i haven’t presented something for a long time and it was the weirdest fucking feeling ever, i got up to the front of the class and looked down at my paper and i tried to open my mouth and i couldn’t it was like my mouth was locked, i stood there silently for a good 5-10 seconds
My mom and dad both had different standpoints of each others behavior. While my mom was trying to defend herself, my dad made everything about him. My dad was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and my mom suspects a Narcissistic Personality disorder mixed in there. (Daddy is what I call my dad and mommy is what I call my mom.) “It’s just daddy being daddy.” - young me & my mom “You know how your mother gets.” - my dad It’s so confusing because I don’t know who’s side I’m on in all this.
Being the youngest in the family, everyone thinks your the spoiled brat. I'm the one who's let with next to nothing, everyone has such high expectations for me, if I mess up just ONCE I'm the disappointment, I always get blamed, and I'm just so tired. And they expect me to be social and believe everything they say. I'm sick of it and can't wait until I'm on my own.
i love my brother so much. he's much more privileged than me, he's much more loved, he's... perfect. but i wasn't. i would get my ass beaten for the smallest thing. i used to hate him. i used to hurt him. seeing how much more loved he was, it made me jealous. but then i realized. im just like my parents. hurting a small child because of personal issues. it stuck it hard. i thought "he'll turn out just like me". and so for his better future, i sacrificed my happiness. the love, the validation, the care. i knew i will never get it. but atleast i can give that to my little brother.
5:50 isn't that what parents normally say to their children? My parents say all that to me accept the 2nd and 3rd thing from "dad" and i always thought it was normal.
Two of my friends are in the hospital right now because they got caught hurting themselves, and one of my other friends is hurting himself too. I just wish they could see that they don’t need to bleed. I know that’s an unrealistic wish but I can’t stop them and this sort of thing leads to suic!d3. I don’t want them to leave me.
People are talking about the "stop crying or ill give you a reason to cry" or something like that but what about the "suck it up buttercup" kids like me... I mean both are bad but if i got hurt or when soemone was bullying me thats what i would get in reply...
I don’t feel the need to vent anymore. I don’t feel sadness. I don’t feel anger. I don’t feel any bad emotions. I can’t cry. When I laugh I don’t actually find it funny. Unless it’s for them.. + kora, nirvan, Ethan, Basanta, rehaan + The 5 people I need in my life. The 5 people I want to stay with me. There is one thing that makes me cry though. ( maybe two ) My father, huge one. Although.. I don’t cry at him much, which makes him mad. Achievement claimed. 2nd. I want my old self back, I want when I didn’t know what the bad things were, don’t get me wrong ilysm ethan and nirvan, you mean the world to me, but you get a little bit weird at times. I just want my innocence back.
I feel like i have ptsd from my toxic friends, symptoms: they always appear in my dreams always being toxic and mean, I’m scared that people who leave me out of convos are going to leave me forever, its really hard to stick to a friend group because i feel like they are gonna stab me right in the back
yall please someone tell me if im in the wrong. so without me knowing I was making some of my friends uncomfy bc I was being "touchy" but they didn't tell me for idek months? without telling me that I was making them uncomfy I mean they said that they were scared to tell me? WHY? I've been their friend for now 2 years I mean would you tell someone you bearly know that they're making you uncomfy so why wouldn't you tell one of your good friends? like I've helped half of them with their depression and thoughts and they don't seem to care abt mine. or my bsf like its one thing to not invite me to hang out with them whatever but they're ignoring him too like he didn't do anything to them, also I realized that their only saying their part of the story and not ours like wtf?? and they did eventually tell me but that was on the last day of school and they aren't inviting me to hang out and I see their stories of them just hanging out and that shit hurts dude and what do they expect us to forget it all and go to school on the 24th and acting like this shit never happened?? like wth. if they are ignoring me or "needed more space" from me then I'll give them just that. the only thing I was doing was hugging them and doing anything a friend does. am I in the wrong?
I got really scared when the depersonalisation came on and like I started like breathing hard and then I started shaking bc I do that at school when we do a self portrait of ourselves
Iam so grateful you are alive right now 💓, the world would be so different without you. I am so grateful that you drink, eat, sleep, even if it is little. You are making progress even if you think your not. You fall down but you get up everytime. You take a tiny step each day. And so what if it is tiny? At least you making some progress. I am so grateful you are here to read this. This is a reminder that alot of people are not going to notice the small things you do, only the big things. So don't push yourself. We see the little things you do and one day you are going to be so happy you tried your hardest to get to the point your at. 💓
You can skip past this comment but I just needed to vent I can feel me and my Bestfriend steering farther and farther apart and I hate it. We don’t hate each other it’s just that we don’t talk anymore and her parents only let her talk on the phone for a few hours a day and I’m doing school work then and can’t chat. I love my bff so much and don’t want to lose her to becase i only have 1 friend and that’s her. I don’t want to lose her too. I don’t know what to do. I’m falling further away from things I love but I’m so happy all the time but im so stressed at the same time. I need a break. I need a break from everything. I just need the world to freeze for a week so I can stop. Im exhausted. My bff has also started talking about stuff that I don’t want to talk about, and toxic stuff as well but I don’t want to let her go, she has brought me so much happiness. She helped me find myself again. But she’s the only one I have left then there is nothing. I don’t know what to do. I’m stressed I’m anxious I’m tired I’m lonely. I’m losing myself, I don’t want to let go, my all time favorite show.. I’m losing interest but That show helped me find so many great people and myself I grew and matured because of it, im losing myself. I don’t want to…
For me kindergarden to 4th grade was fun every year the whole grade was a huge friendgroup like 200 kids all knew eatchother we would go to there houses every day almost. But then it was fifth grade, we all got split up into different parts of the school everyone had new friends we still talked. The next year the people who really like you and wanted to stay do. ever since 5th every year it gets worse. More mean teachers get yelled at for no reason gets beatup for no reason. Its just going downhill. wish I could go back to 4th my fav teacher we has HUGE games of infection at recess now just all gone, now just me and 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 uf os that have stayed. The people that got me through it don't even know. They probably wont ever. Sure I'm popular but there just going to hurt me in the next year. Sure 10 girls like me there not going to in 4 years, I just want to stick with the ones I trust. They always ask why I have bad grades sometimes, I say I don't know I do, no one cares. The school sucks got suspended for using crutches because I broke my leg. Got suspended the next year for having messy handwriting because I broke my collarbone. I could not stand it. Then it got worse. My friend from ukraine died skiing, JUST BEFORE HE WAS GOING TO MOVE TO MCIHIGAN. I almost gave up on everything and everyone. People ask me why I always want to be alone its because no one really likes me. I just deal with everything trying to make people happy but I don't get anything in return. I wish I could.
Vent vent 🤍🤍⬇️ My life is never perfect, it never has been. My life is almost like a main characters backstory, or maybe the villains. I’m not okay now, and I wasn’t okay then. My parents never loved each other, my dad can’t pay child support, had to go to court at a young age, (not even 10) and things never got better. I got bullied in school, and never told anybody. Maybe 5? Maybe younger? I never had friends. The most I would get is 3. Or 2. It was so rare I would get 3. It’s was almost impossible to get more then 2/3 friends. I would sit in a corner, all throughout kindergarten. I had my dolls, and I sat there. Never learned, never knew, never felt. That was considered normal. It’s was okay, for me. I thought it was normal for kids to do that. It obviously wasn’t. It felt bad to cry. And everything was my fault. I put all of that on myself. I never should have. It never goes away. Later on, still, not even 10. I was told by my mother that her parents, the “unmentionables” have just been planning to take you and your sibling away. All of it was fake. I was never lived by them. They never cared. It was all just a stupid act they have been putting up to ruin lives. And it worked. I now have trust issues. And attachment issues. Thanks. They got my dad fired, they got my mom depressed. And I had to go to court for custody reasons. I hated it there. It was terrifying. The waiting room, the long walk from the waiting area to the small room. Looking into doors seeing my parents talk to they’re lawyers. The high area when you look out of the windows. The sad elevator trip. The moment they ask you “You choose.” Or “did anybody tell you to say that?” I was so sad. And never told anyone. Then Dad got Jason, a teenager, depressed and ignorant. Him and my brother would team up, and bully me. I would hide in the bathroom or my room and cry for hours on end. I hated them. Nobody cared, nobody listened. After a few years of that, school was terrible. I didn’t understand anything. I would have panic attacks on my trip to school. Mondays sucked. I would cry walking into school. I hated everybody. I made friends with a girl online however, I was so happy! We were inseparable. We called ourselves the “frog buddies” this was in 2020. I was so great full to have a friend, I thought we would be friends until at least a year. AT LEAST. Then came another girl, it was great! We were the frog trio! We were best friends! After a week or two, they started dating! I was so proud of them, I never thought much of it. Then they changed avatars, it wasn’t that bad, I asked why they changed, and how I couldn’t due to lack of robux. And then they straight up walked away from me, they ditched me. Purposely. She knew it was gonna do something. I was broken. I was so torn apart. And to this day, 2023. I still think back to them and cry. I’m scared of trios. I never want to be in one. Ever again. And there’s so much more I can talk about, like how uncomfortable it makes me when a boy admits to liking me, or how my brother tried to break my bone, more than once. Now I think I’m over weight and stupid. And having my grandma not be ashamed to call me pathetic in front of people I don’t even know, or my friends. I’m holding on my a string. I’m done. Thank you for listening 🤍
Everyone in my friend group is js more popular than me. Cos they literally got hugs from almost everyone when we came back to school.but then they js look at me and the walk away. Why are they even friends with me in the first place. There’s much more interesting ppl than me
Bro, everyone thinks that just because my dad left me when I was really young I didn’t really understand what was going on but even if at that moment I didn’t know anything I do know and I also know I never got my father daughter moments, my sister did, but I didn’t not when I was younger, not rn and definitely not when I will be an adult, I’ve been taking care of myself for 13 years, I think I can handle it some more time
I dislike my younger siblings they make me cry and sometimes they make my mum cry but then laugh about it. Sometimes they make fun of me for stuff I can't control and one of them calls me fat and lazy
@@Darling_Moon. my older siblings and parents make me cry I get left out,blamed, yelled,called names,ignored,disliked,unloved,hate myself,badly raised, bullied and there's more but imma shut up
I sit behind my crush and him and the girl sitting next to me were talking about how he has a crush on another girl out of our class I’ve never been so heartbroken. 💔
Maybe *I* am the Problem? Maybe I am a shitty person but I can't do anything Abt that and I Wish I could because even my Family hates me but Nobody tells me what I can do and I Just wanna be someones favourite Person🙁
😔Venting😔 my uncle and my aunt took my cousin from me And my family and moved far away to avoid us that cousin was pretty much a child to my I loved her so much I miss her and can’t take this any more I wanna just lay in the snow forever and see what happens I can’t take school I can’t focuse I get in trouble and yelled at a lot and just need a hug my friends cut me off I hate everyone in my old school now I love being home school. 😭 My other cousin did when I was young. What ever I do is never enough in life
currently bawling bc this one vid said sum bout "ur gaining weight again".. made me think about the same thing my own mother said to me.. i gaiined weight during covid bc i was j home all day long and i didnt have friends so i gained 40 lbs its been almost 3 yrs now still the same weight.. sorta. im 15 and 176 lbs. i wen to the doctors yesterday i was so confident i lost at least 5 lbs. bc i was 170.. but.. obviously not. ive been over eating again. i have an ed. but instead of starving myself when im sad i binge on food all day long. for the past few days ive been catching myself eating constantly and i feel bad.. i try to stop but i cant. so i was deeply upset when i saw i gained more.. it hurts.
It's 99% possible I have anger issues. I get really angry at things that aren't even that serious and I KNOW it's not that serious, but I can't really control it. Saying: *I want to break things.*
idk what happen to me and my bsf in 5 grade i was new and we lives eachother so much and berber weren’t together and then leah came around over the summer and she don’t talk to me as much and it’s sad bc she was my first real bsf and i feel her fading away from me every day
1:28 I FUCKING HATE THIS SHIT PPL ACT LIKE ALL OF THE YOUNGEST KIDS IN FAMILIES GET EVERY THING NOT ALL OF US DO LOTS OF US HAVE TO GROW UP W/ EVERYTHING AROUND US BROKEN AND CONFUSING AND ALL WE KNOW IS PAIN AND WE GROW UP NUMB AND WE ARE TOLD BY OLDER SIBLINGS “oh please you didn’t get it as bad as us” BECAUSE WE DO HAVE IT AS BAD IF NOT WORSE I HAD TO WATCH MY SISTER ABANDON ME AND I NEVER GOT TO SAY GOODBYE I WAS FUCKING 4 AND THAT TRAMA IS STILL W/ ME AND I HAVE ABANDONMENT ISSUES NOW AND I GREW UP WITH YELLING AND ABUSE AND ONLY ONE OF MY FAMILY MEMBERS CARED AND EVERYONE ELSE SAID “oh shut up it wasn’t that bad” or “everyone fights stop over reacting” OH SO DADS AND KID /STEP KIDS BITEING AND KICKING AND SLAPPING AND YELLING AT EACH OTHER IS NORMAL?!? RIGHT IN FRONT OF A 3 YO IS OKAY BC “oh she/he will forget” WE NEVER FORGET. IM DONE W/ THIS SHIT NOT. ALL. YOUNGEST. GET. AFFECTION. OR. MORE/ANY. ATTENTION. AT. ALL.
I feel the one about joking about your friends leaving I joke about that but it does hurt a lot it makes me think I'm just not good enough or I did smth wrong when I didn't do a thing I know I drown myself in my music it's my safe place I can't socialize comfortably anymore people have to get over that I can't explain it so don't ask me to don't tell me it's not that hard to talk to someone it is for some people I hate how everyone thinks it's just THAT easy to talk to someone I'm always worried I'm ganna say smth that they think is weird or stupid or they might judge me for liking smth I panic when I try to talk to people so please when I have my headphones in LET. ME. BE!
I really like my friends! They punch me. They leave me. They abandoned me. They hurt me. They say lies about me to everyone. They swear at me. They Blame on me. They Hurt me. They say they never friends with me That's why I like my friends! 🙂
Everyday I wake up, I get ready, I go to school, work, and come back home… during my time at school I see pretty girls left and right… and wish i could be… just… as… pretty…. Yet I struggle with even being able to talk to them… I feel like they despise me because of how I look compared to them… so… I try to cope with the feeling of being alone and not feeling pretty by talking to my friends… which they’re also… pretty… I try not to feel bad about myself but it’s difficult…
So uhhh.. I'm pretty sure I have some form of schizophrenia and probably the one where you have a bunch of different personalities. Basically, I'm constantly in a state of fear. I know in my heart that my friends and family (now at least) would never try to physically or mentally hurt me, but just about every night I dream a regular, weird dream and then I have a nightmare, and one of my loved ones kills me, or I die in front of or because of them. It can range from just a simple hug n' stab the back, or slit my throat, or someone I cannot see holds me back and I have to watch them die, or vice versa, or it gets extravagant. For instance, Once I dreamed that one my friends who was artist drew me, and I was watching from afar as they erased parts. When they erased, it happened to the real me. I had to stand and watch as I lost my leg, my arm, and chest. They then redrew the parts, and erased my eyes to replace them with X's, and redrew wounds over the erased parts. As I fell back, bleeding out and blind, I heard paper ripping and the dream ended. I can usually tell when I'm in a nightmare, because nobody ever has eyes. just smooth flesh or gaping holes where the kind eyes of my loved ones would be. Thats why when I mess up or panic, It makes it worse when I see people's eyes because I know I cant wake up. I've mastered the art of snapping my own neck in a dream so I don't have to continue with the dream, because sometimes it gets too intense. I crack my fingers and neck a lot, especially when I'm panicked because I need to test if It'll kill me or not. But anyways, I see things. vague, roughly humanoid forms that appear whenever I feel an emotion, the stronger the emotion the more visible they become. oddly enough, I can't see any of the hallucinationary beings with my glasses on, so I wear them even though they give me migraines. Anyways, I've categorized the personalities by nicknames I was given while I used them. "Jojo", the first and most innocent kind one, me when I was a kid, is effectively dead. Sometimes I see her, But she is always being held up or dragged by another person. each of these "people" represent a different emotion, or feeling. "Jojo" was joy, now mostly fear and vulnerability. "Fatie-Jo" is shame. "Kat" is anger and violence. "KJ" is forgetfullness, numbness, and being forgotten. "Katie" is the base setting, who I use reflexivly for people I don't know and is politeness, and is kind of like a porcelain doll, and the most like a mask. Katie, while looking kind, loving and gentle, with too rough of a grip she shatters and reveals the worser parts inside. "Jo" is effectively Katie, but for people I know enough to talk to regularly but not enough for them to know me. and "Charlie", (which will be my name when I transition, I'm transmasc) is art, literature, and creativity. I rarely get to use charlie. But Charlie's form is the most distorted, then again they all look like stitched together shadow demons with something to signify what they represent, Jojo is a ghost, Jo and Katie wear masks, Kj is kinda see through, and Kat looks like they constantly crave blood and violence lmao. Anyways imma shut up.
im really jealous of my friend. shes super popular and nice to everyone and everyone loves her. i never spend any time actually alone with her, and if i do she always ignores me and goes on my phone. it used to just be us 2 but she clearly doesnt want that anymore. i dont blame her, she has so much fun with other people who are 100x more outgoing and funny than me, but it still hurts. i know i should be happy for her but its really hard, i just want things to go back to how it was
Same, except I made her "popular". Her "best-friends" were mine first, Her boyfriend was mine first. i hate it. she get all of the attention. why cant someone love me like everyone loves her and the worst thing is i still forgive her. every. single. time. :(
I personally have never gone through this but that seems like one of the worst feelings having your best friend slowly get more popular and start to leave you behind especially when your an introvert and your clinging onto your friend like there your life support (idk of you also do that but I definitely do) sometimes I feel like I make my friend’s live worse but I can’t break out friendship because I need them
I’m sorry, I don’t know how to make it better. You should just ditch her, it’ll be better then getting stringed on.
Your not alone, I've gone through it too. It hurts
i can relate to this, we were the best of friends but then she just wanted to end it. I still go through our messages just to figure out why she wanted to end it suddenly
The first time I watched one of these compilations I cried my heart out and realized how f cked up my life really is
Same :)
I know right? I have really bad memory so usually I forget all my trauma and bad life experiences. Like, completely. I forget the aftereffects, not the actual experiences, so instead, my trauma becomes my personality and it ends up not being my real personality, just my fears. So me too, whenever I watch these compilations, I suddenly remember what made me into the person who I am now. Is it the same for you?
When it comes to the youngest person in the family (me), every problem gets put on me due to my older sibling already who already ruined their expectations. What people don’t realize with younger siblings is that if the oldest fail, they can always LOAD expectations on the youngest, and if the youngest fail, there’s nobody to turn to for more. We can’t fail. (It’s different for every family but the youngest is not always the well treated one like everyone says so.
the youngest sibling in my family is autistic shut up
As a younger sibling and the youngest in my whole family I can understand how you feel when it comes to that experience. And the other thing is people babying you 24/7 and family gatherings are my biggest concerns because everyone rushes to me, but my dad’s always by my side because he know I have social anxiety. But yeah when your the youngest all the expectations go to you.
@@gayaurora8458 Exactly.
Exactly! As the youngest child, all the shit always gets dumped on me, and everything is always my fault. There's a difference between teasing your child and actually making them feel uncomfortable. 💔 My family and I would have a rule when I was younger, "if im not laughing it means the joke is not funny" then my mom decides to say something that makes me insecure. I always have to take in humiliation, gaslighting, beatings, and high expectations without excuses. While my brothers just have to be good examples because i look up to them.
@@Killua_Zoldyck3407 Exactly my point! So sorry that happened. :(
Anyone else think these videos just are like too real?…. Like they just explained my whole life…
At least we're not alone😢
I think it’s an issue when I have memorised most of these audios
11:33 was the most relatable thing i have heard all week
3:10 I’m now going to turn 12 and this has been going on for at least 5 yrs 5:53 everyone is like this in my life except I wish I had a brother 8:04 a lot of kids compare me to her 8:54 I always have to or else I’ll be seen different, like someone for anyone to vent to and I don’t want that 9:39 it’s always going to be my sisters way but I just accept it 11:27 my parents never noticed it when I was 4 because I’m that much of a liar 11:36 I was always told by my older sister “it’s rather go and cry about it or are you gonna play” when I turned 5. I’m now a literal bully. I hate it sm but it’s why I have some of my friends. I’m violent towards others and I wish I weren’t, I wish I didn’t have to be mean in order to have respect
when i was the youngest sibling i was told"be more careful" or "YOUR THE ONE THAT BROKE IT" ,and i always got blamed, and got hated on i got told " GO AWAY" or " I HATE YOU B!TCH", and got call stupid and an idiot and belived it, i felt like i could never fail, and that i was going i love myself when i was older but i would never love myself,plus i was always called at school "pick me" because i would vent to someone all bout my problems but i tell myself "im prefect" "im loved'', but then someone ever since 3rd grade i got hated on because of this girl named aylin please do not hate on anyone named aylin everyone would never talk to me i'd been called weird or" dont talk to her shes so f4 weird" and the only person that would actually talk to me and would listen is my best friend: if i find this again ill talk abt my life now
It's okay. And its good to have a best friend who listens and understands. There may be voices in your head that tell you "The other students and classmates are right. You ARE weird and a pick me. Get a f4ing life." But, don't listen to them, you have someone who cares, and can tell you the truth. Your brain and thoughts are a enemy and a friend,or take, poison that tastes good. It is tasteful but slowly drains you, scraping away your self love and productivity from the inside out. That's why you have to choose to not drink it or not listen. You mustn't listen to the voices or the students who are ants hiding in a scorpion costume. It's okay, and I hope you can look back at this as a bump in the road of life.
Talking about venting I have horrible social anxiety and major depressive disorder from being bullied for all of my elementary/middle school life and one of the worst emotional experiences I’ve had was asking my crush out on Valentine’s Day then being publicly humiliated and shamed by her then later that day her friends yelled at me for embarrassing her 😞 people can be so so cruel
Me as a first born child, I have to be mature at such a young age, and I'm tired to be my parent expectations bc I was told to be a role 4 my siblings and sometimes I got jealous of how my parent treat my younger siblings.
⚠️VENTING (please give advice if you have any❤️)
-My bestfriend pisses me off constantly and for no reason, she could simply ask a question and I’d curse her out and get mad, idk why and I want it to stop. I can easily not curse at her or slap her, but I cant make the thoughts of hurting her and being mad at her go away.
I always thought she was my person, but if I’m having those thoughts about her, is she really? idk I just need some closure
I feel like if she isn’t doing anything like rude or wrong it may be built up anger inside of you rather than her being a bad person but I do not know
I had a period of time where I was like this with my friends too. It was because of a bunch of tiny bad things and they weren’t doing any good things to hide them like normal. People change and you grow out of someone. It’s ok not for them to be your bff for the rest of your life.
This can be some bad unspoken anger/ anxiety or stress. I would try a stress toy. They help me through my violent tendency’s but everyone is different. I hope you get situated.
thank you äll for the ädvice and the tips💕💕 I really appreciate it🙏🏼
Maybe try talking to her about this? It could solve any misunderstandings and might it help.
0:10
I’m scared but excited to go back tbh. Everyone there hates me and makes fun of me but I need to be back on a schedule. I feel like the bullying is going to get worse this year since my school friends left me for the popular kids. I feel like she’s going to start to bully me too and I’m scared someone is going to hurt me. But yk, college will be better
I have a bsf who i've been friends for more than 5 years, last was very tough for me and she was the only reason I was coming to school until recently. All of my friends (including my bsf) did this 'prank' on me where one of the friends took me to the school ground and told me some shit abt my bsf to which I didn't reply much and just said some good stuff abt her ig, so at the end of the day my bsf came to me and told that it was a prank and they just wanted to see what I would say,. Which meant it was trust test and it hurt me a lot bc why did she not trust me when we were friends for so many years but I still forgave her. During that time me and another friend from the group (lets call her W) became really close so, on Sunday another two friends of mine called me and said that I should stop hanging out with W bc my bsf was getting jealous and the only thing I said was ok, after that my bsf was talking to me abt it and say like "yk for the past 1month u have been really hurting me, idk how but u r" and she told some more stuff, after that she said sorry to me and so did I. And you are probably like she is ur bsf, if u hang with another friend more than her then obiv she will get jealous, but let me tell, she was the one who was friends with the whole group first not me, so technically to her having her own friends is ok but not me. I feel like I am being dramatic abt it tho.
so.. I don't lose friends very often, mainly because I don't have a lot, so when I do lose a friend it's very hard for me. I just lost my best friend yesterday because of the sick jokes people make about us. They would always say we were dating and my friend said something about me being his girlfriend, even after I've told her numerous times it makes me and him uncomfortable. Yesterday he told me that he just wasn't going to talk to me for the rest of the year due to the "jokes". Right before that he decided to say that I have a crush on someone that sits beside me. I get where he's coming from considering i struggle talking to him, can't look him in the eyes, and try to avoid anything that has to do with him. He also did it because my friends are the ones making the "jokes" therefor I am including in the people who make the "jokes".
I really enjoyed being friends with him, but everything must come to an end.. right?
3:39 he has no eyes …just a dark abiss of playfulness
I was at camp and the boys kept making fun of my language/religion, being racist and calling me a teachers pet because I was talking my home language to my felicitators. So it still kinda hurts but I’m glad that they got in trouble. Ty for reading this far and hearing me out. Bye have a good day/night!💙
Oh. I hope your situation has gotten better they totally deserved to get in trouble
it makes me feel really bad how I have to have an agenda to remember birthdays and events, for other people, but no one else will do the same for me
Я благодарю вас за загрузку! Делаю мои ночи лучше, потому что я все равно не могу уснуть.
“I thank you for uploading! Making my nights better because I can’t sleep anyways.”
берегите себя все!
vent:
i’m tired of everything and everyone.
everyday at school my friends take my stuff or annoy me, i say stop and then they mock me like “stOOOPPPP” and then they ask why i’m annoyed at them. i literally just want my younger life back. my parents shout at me everyday, i cry everyday and too make it worse i’m the youngest child so i have all the pressure on my shoulders.
i’m so tired of my life and you guys are literally the only one who understands me.
.
The only way I can get a genuine "I love you" is from 4 year old kids I meet.
My mom works at a daycare don't even think about that.
I realized today that my parents have touch-starved me and give me judgmental looks when I hug them or my siblings and just try to be a kid... I just want a hug, is that so hard? :,/
0:29 thank you for showing me what I feel like! I was always confused about it with me :)
I just got back from todays finals. Though four boys in my geography class was making fun of me today. What did I do wrong?
Hey I’m sorry that people are mean to you and I want you to tell the to fu(k off
Also can you tell me a bit of what they said? If you want to that is
@@Bluebairbrushthathitkronos I don’t want to tell you
@@_not_here that’s alright you don’t need to (:
@obl!v!0n ok
I once saw my mom cry
I was about to come tell on my siblings but stopped because I saw her
I just went to hug her
I was too young to understand.
I want to make her feel better but I can't even make myself feel better
4:11 - I may sound stupid, but are these symptoms of a disorder like anxiety or depression? Because I think I have both, (definitely anxiety) and those sound EXACTLY like me. I’m trying to give myself a self diagnosis bcs I can’t go to a therapist or anything.
I feel so shitty lately and I feel like I have no purpose in life and I feel like nobody understands me. I feel insecure at school and I hate how happy I look and try to act but inside I feel dead and horrible. I feel pressured and I feel like the whole world is on my shoulders and I feel that I have to make decisions about everything. I’m worried about my family and my mom and I want people to like me and I want people to understand me and hear my crying for help. I’m tired of being second choice for everything and I’m tired that my friends keep replacing me after I have been there for them with everything. I wanna kms but I don’t have the courage to because I know that at least one person out here actually cares. I want my friends to stop keeping me out and shutting doors in my face. I wish I could stop watching vent TikTok’s so that I could understand that people out there actually relate to me. I want someone to hear my screams of help and I want them to see that I’m drowning. I’ve tried therapy and I’ve tried to think that I’m happy and even that can’t cure anything. I’m tired of crying and said that I’m an attention seeker and I’m tired of doing workouts to have an hour glass so people don’t judge me. I want to stop crying and being dramatic. I want to feel good about myself and I want to be prettier like everyone else. I WANT PEOPLE TO LOVE ME!!! I want to be understood and I want to be respected and not just considered a therapist friend and then shoved to the side for other people. I want my family to listen to me and I want to let people know that I’m trying my hardest and I want people to know that when I say I’m fine IM NOT FUCKING FINE. ALL OF THIS SHIT STARTED WHEN I WAS FUCKING NINE YEARS OLD. I hate myself for being self conscious and I hate that I have to tell myself I’m going to be okay even though I know I’m not going to be. I hate everything about my self and I hate that I’m not someone’s favorite person. I hate that nothings going to be okay after everything I’ve been through I hate my self and I hate everyone around me but then everything just clears up and I’m happy again. But the next day everything just goes downhill. I hate when people ignore me , I hate how people thing that I’m happy and that I’m always ok. I hate how I cry myself to sleep and I hate everything about me, I hate my curly hair and I hate my skin and I wish I was prettier. I hate how I think I’m okay and in reality I’m just broken. I hate how I have panic attacks everywhere and I just try to cover it by going to the bathroom. I hate how everyone thinks I’m pretty but I’m really not. I hate how my life is right now. Whenever people ask me if I’m okay I barely have and answer. I hate my life. I hate that I don’t have a bsf that I could tell anything to. I hate how whenever somebody asks me if they can vent instead of saying I am dealing with my own shit right now I say ofc go ahead. I hate venting because I don’t want to be a burden. I hate how my parents expect me to be perfect and I hate how boys don’t like me. I hate how I keep trying but end up sinking deeper. I hate how people think they understand me but they don’t. I hate everything and everyone. I’m insecure about my height and I’m insecure about every goddamn thing about me. I hate how I’m lazy and I hate how I’m venting and I hate this and I hate everything and I know I keep saying that but it’s just the truth.
I hate myself
5:45 I find it agrivating and sad that I relate to this
I really just want to give everyone of you a hug…
And I think I need one to.
🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂
@@makotokino6054 🫂
Hug
7:48- internally CRYING
When ever I try to be funny or loud and funny it never works all I get is a cold,dead stare right back at me and now Im just starting to think I should just be emotionless.but...wait...that would get me severely judged too huh...?
I'm normally quiet,awkward and strange but I don't get judged maybe I have a bit but that's everyone, everyone gets judged atleast once whether they hear it or not
@@AnisaMedinaK_12 I know but it's every single time I'm loud or noticeable
Crying is contagious with elders. All of your life you thought of them as a strong figure, not really knowing their childhood. That’s why when they cry your vision of them is suddenly shattered. The person you thought they were was just a lie.
8:19 , that explains a lot, that’s why I have such little appetite…. And don’t feel like eating anymore..
oh, so that‘s what it does, ty!
vent:if u have advice or don’t want to hear or read a vent then scroll away,instead of giving hate.
i always get made fun of,since 1st grade.I got used to it,but i would never expect them to hurt me physically.
So i had this friend L(Female)and she had lots of friends :M,Ln and E(im using their first alphabet of their name for privacy)And i knew L since the start of 4th to 5th grade (i think ?)and so at first she was Ok,but not really.At some point she would call me names and tell me ,,shut up’’ ,,no one cares’’ ,,and,no one asked ‘’ even tho i wasn’t talking to her i was talking to another classmate about how something broke(my bottle or something)and then she said ,,And?No one asked so u shut up ‘’and i told her ,,i wasn’t talking to u !?’’ and she talked about how her life is hard because one of her friends didn’t hang out with her because she was busy,i just was mad.
So what happened today (20.01)was that after sports ,we have to go change to our normal outfits ,and we dress up in a closet ,so at my way ,M kicked me in the back of my foot ,i looked at her and just ignored it,THEN she did it again and M and L were laughing.It almost made me cry,i was speechless ,hurt and i was sad ,i wanted to punch them,push them from the stair,THROW THEM TROUGH THE WINDOW WHERE THEY SPY ON A BOY THEY HAVE A CRUSH ON .
I told L (on whatsapp) that i wasn’t ok with people laughing and hurting me ,she didn’t respond nor did she see it ,But i just hope she apologizes.
Cause:
Hey, some people do that because they have stuff going on (eg family issues hatred or jealousy) or they've bottled their feelings too much and yelling/making fun of others makes them feel better
Advice:
*talk to them
*unfriend them
*ask yourself why they might do that
*figure out why they're doing that
I know this might not be the best advice but please try! :)
Get ur revenge make them sadif they do anything physical u need to do the same bc if u dont they will keep laughing and making fun of you
0:13 real.
2:29 the end is funny
"And I'll write your name"😂
I miss my best friend, since we were babies, everyday,every class, every second. But then drugs ruined it, now he is gone.
If I get replaced one more time I might just leave
Hope you haven’t left yet just remember I love you no matter what ❤️🩹
POV: your an editor
Omg. that's so relatable.
“but i has nothing to do with you😃” got me dead💀
0:35 I swear cameras everywhere
I have social anxiety and a couple of weeks ago we had to present a essay in front of the class and it was my turn and i haven’t presented something for a long time and it was the weirdest fucking feeling ever, i got up to the front of the class and looked down at my paper and i tried to open my mouth and i couldn’t it was like my mouth was locked, i stood there silently for a good 5-10 seconds
I broke down in class today. We needed to draw self portraits
Ngl the reason why I have anger issues is because of sadness taking over
My mom and dad both had different standpoints of each others behavior. While my mom was trying to defend herself, my dad made everything about him. My dad was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and my mom suspects a Narcissistic Personality disorder mixed in there.
(Daddy is what I call my dad and mommy is what I call my mom.)
“It’s just daddy being daddy.” - young me & my mom
“You know how your mother gets.” - my dad
It’s so confusing because I don’t know who’s side I’m on in all this.
I can’t cry anymore…
Being the youngest in the family, everyone thinks your the spoiled brat. I'm the one who's let with next to nothing, everyone has such high expectations for me, if I mess up just ONCE I'm the disappointment, I always get blamed, and I'm just so tired. And they expect me to be social and believe everything they say. I'm sick of it and can't wait until I'm on my own.
i love my brother so much. he's much more privileged than me, he's much more loved, he's... perfect. but i wasn't. i would get my ass beaten for the smallest thing. i used to hate him. i used to hurt him. seeing how much more loved he was, it made me jealous. but then i realized. im just like my parents. hurting a small child because of personal issues. it stuck it hard. i thought "he'll turn out just like me". and so for his better future, i sacrificed my happiness. the love, the validation, the care. i knew i will never get it. but atleast i can give that to my little brother.
5:50 isn't that what parents normally say to their children? My parents say all that to me accept the 2nd and 3rd thing from "dad" and i always thought it was normal.
Two of my friends are in the hospital right now because they got caught hurting themselves, and one of my other friends is hurting himself too. I just wish they could see that they don’t need to bleed. I know that’s an unrealistic wish but I can’t stop them and this sort of thing leads to suic!d3. I don’t want them to leave me.
0:22 why do I relate so much T-T
People are talking about the "stop crying or ill give you a reason to cry" or something like that but what about the "suck it up buttercup" kids like me... I mean both are bad but if i got hurt or when soemone was bullying me thats what i would get in reply...
0:23 wtf how did this person just describe me so well…
I don’t feel the need to vent anymore. I don’t feel sadness. I don’t feel anger. I don’t feel any bad emotions. I can’t cry. When I laugh I don’t actually find it funny. Unless it’s for them..
+ kora, nirvan, Ethan, Basanta, rehaan +
The 5 people I need in my life. The 5 people I want to stay with me.
There is one thing that makes me cry though.
( maybe two )
My father, huge one. Although.. I don’t cry at him much, which makes him mad. Achievement claimed.
2nd. I want my old self back, I want when I didn’t know what the bad things were, don’t get me wrong ilysm ethan and nirvan, you mean the world to me, but you get a little bit weird at times. I just want my innocence back.
I feel like i have ptsd from my toxic friends, symptoms: they always appear in my dreams always being toxic and mean, I’m scared that people who leave me out of convos are going to leave me forever, its really hard to stick to a friend group because i feel like they are gonna stab me right in the back
12 days down the drain 😢
yall please someone tell me if im in the wrong.
so without me knowing I was making some of my friends uncomfy bc I was being "touchy" but they didn't tell me for idek months? without telling me that I was making them uncomfy I mean they said that they were scared to tell me? WHY? I've been their friend for now 2 years I mean would you tell someone you bearly know that they're making you uncomfy so why wouldn't you tell one of your good friends? like I've helped half of them with their depression and thoughts and they don't seem to care abt mine. or my bsf like its one thing to not invite me to hang out with them whatever but they're ignoring him too like he didn't do anything to them, also I realized that their only saying their part of the story and not ours like wtf?? and they did eventually tell me but that was on the last day of school and they aren't inviting me to hang out and I see their stories of them just hanging out and that shit hurts dude and what do they expect us to forget it all and go to school on the 24th and acting like this shit never happened?? like wth. if they are ignoring me or "needed more space" from me then I'll give them just that. the only thing I was doing was hugging them and doing anything a friend does. am I in the wrong?
Your not in the wrong they should have told you
I got really scared when the depersonalisation came on and like I started like breathing hard and then I started shaking bc I do that at school when we do a self portrait of ourselves
Iam so grateful you are alive right now 💓, the world would be so different without you. I am so grateful that you drink, eat, sleep, even if it is little. You are making progress even if you think your not. You fall down but you get up everytime. You take a tiny step each day. And so what if it is tiny? At least you making some progress. I am so grateful you are here to read this. This is a reminder that alot of people are not going to notice the small things you do, only the big things. So don't push yourself. We see the little things you do and one day you are going to be so happy you tried your hardest to get to the point your at. 💓
i needed this
You can skip past this comment but I just needed to vent
I can feel me and my Bestfriend steering farther and farther apart and I hate it. We don’t hate each other it’s just that we don’t talk anymore and her parents only let her talk on the phone for a few hours a day and I’m doing school work then and can’t chat. I love my bff so much and don’t want to lose her to becase i only have 1 friend and that’s her. I don’t want to lose her too. I don’t know what to do. I’m falling further away from things I love but I’m so happy all the time but im so stressed at the same time. I need a break. I need a break from everything. I just need the world to freeze for a week so I can stop. Im exhausted. My bff has also started talking about stuff that I don’t want to talk about, and toxic stuff as well but I don’t want to let her go, she has brought me so much happiness. She helped me find myself again. But she’s the only one I have left then there is nothing. I don’t know what to do. I’m stressed I’m anxious I’m tired I’m lonely. I’m losing myself, I don’t want to let go, my all time favorite show.. I’m losing interest but That show helped me find so many great people and myself I grew and matured because of it, im losing myself. I don’t want to…
And I'm aroace because love is the last thing I need to fall out of
fall out of a plane
real.
First one hit hard
For me kindergarden to 4th grade was fun every year the whole grade was a huge friendgroup like 200 kids all knew eatchother we would go to there houses every day almost. But then it was fifth grade, we all got split up into different parts of the school everyone had new friends we still talked. The next year the people who really like you and wanted to stay do. ever since 5th every year it gets worse. More mean teachers get yelled at for no reason gets beatup for no reason. Its just going downhill. wish I could go back to 4th my fav teacher we has HUGE games of infection at recess now just all gone, now just me and 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 uf os that have stayed. The people that got me through it don't even know. They probably wont ever. Sure I'm popular but there just going to hurt me in the next year. Sure 10 girls like me there not going to in 4 years, I just want to stick with the ones I trust. They always ask why I have bad grades sometimes, I say I don't know I do, no one cares. The school sucks got suspended for using crutches because I broke my leg. Got suspended the next year for having messy handwriting because I broke my collarbone. I could not stand it. Then it got worse. My friend from ukraine died skiing, JUST BEFORE HE WAS GOING TO MOVE TO MCIHIGAN. I almost gave up on everything and everyone. People ask me why I always want to be alone its because no one really likes me. I just deal with everything trying to make people happy but I don't get anything in return. I wish I could.
I changed so much during summer break
whats the game on 9:59?-
3:08 my childhood.
Vent vent 🤍🤍⬇️
My life is never perfect, it never has been. My life is almost like a main characters backstory, or maybe the villains. I’m not okay now, and I wasn’t okay then. My parents never loved each other, my dad can’t pay child support, had to go to court at a young age, (not even 10) and things never got better. I got bullied in school, and never told anybody. Maybe 5? Maybe younger? I never had friends. The most I would get is 3. Or 2. It was so rare I would get 3. It’s was almost impossible to get more then 2/3 friends. I would sit in a corner, all throughout kindergarten. I had my dolls, and I sat there. Never learned, never knew, never felt. That was considered normal. It’s was okay, for me. I thought it was normal for kids to do that. It obviously wasn’t. It felt bad to cry. And everything was my fault. I put all of that on myself. I never should have. It never goes away. Later on, still, not even 10. I was told by my mother that her parents, the “unmentionables” have just been planning to take you and your sibling away. All of it was fake. I was never lived by them. They never cared. It was all just a stupid act they have been putting up to ruin lives. And it worked. I now have trust issues. And attachment issues. Thanks. They got my dad fired, they got my mom depressed. And I had to go to court for custody reasons. I hated it there. It was terrifying. The waiting room, the long walk from the waiting area to the small room. Looking into doors seeing my parents talk to they’re lawyers. The high area when you look out of the windows. The sad elevator trip. The moment they ask you “You choose.” Or “did anybody tell you to say that?” I was so sad. And never told anyone. Then Dad got Jason, a teenager, depressed and ignorant. Him and my brother would team up, and bully me. I would hide in the bathroom or my room and cry for hours on end. I hated them. Nobody cared, nobody listened. After a few years of that, school was terrible. I didn’t understand anything. I would have panic attacks on my trip to school. Mondays sucked. I would cry walking into school. I hated everybody. I made friends with a girl online however, I was so happy! We were inseparable. We called ourselves the “frog buddies” this was in 2020. I was so great full to have a friend, I thought we would be friends until at least a year. AT LEAST. Then came another girl, it was great! We were the frog trio! We were best friends! After a week or two, they started dating! I was so proud of them, I never thought much of it. Then they changed avatars, it wasn’t that bad, I asked why they changed, and how I couldn’t due to lack of robux. And then they straight up walked away from me, they ditched me. Purposely. She knew it was gonna do something. I was broken. I was so torn apart. And to this day, 2023. I still think back to them and cry. I’m scared of trios. I never want to be in one. Ever again. And there’s so much more I can talk about, like how uncomfortable it makes me when a boy admits to liking me, or how my brother tried to break my bone, more than once. Now I think I’m over weight and stupid. And having my grandma not be ashamed to call me pathetic in front of people I don’t even know, or my friends. I’m holding on my a string. I’m done.
Thank you for listening 🤍
can someone say what 0:41 means please
0:21 really called me out tho
all of this happended to me at 10
11:12 really hit hard 😕
I CAN REMEMBER THE WARMTH OF HER HANDS
Everyone in my friend group is js more popular than me. Cos they literally got hugs from almost everyone when we came back to school.but then they js look at me and the walk away. Why are they even friends with me in the first place. There’s much more interesting ppl than me
Bro, everyone thinks that just because my dad left me when I was really young I didn’t really understand what was going on but even if at that moment I didn’t know anything I do know and I also know I never got my father daughter moments, my sister did, but I didn’t not when I was younger, not rn and definitely not when I will be an adult, I’ve been taking care of myself for 13 years, I think I can handle it some more time
all of the oldest siblings here do you hate your younger siblings? or do you envy them?
I dislike my younger siblings they make me cry and sometimes they make my mum cry but then laugh about it. Sometimes they make fun of me for stuff I can't control and one of them calls me fat and lazy
@@Darling_Moon. my older siblings and parents make me cry I get left out,blamed, yelled,called names,ignored,disliked,unloved,hate myself,badly raised, bullied and there's more but imma shut up
Honestly I can relate, even tho I’m the older sibling. I’m sorry for all the people who have too experience all this f-ing trauma, I wish you all well
I sit behind my crush and him and the girl sitting next to me were talking about how he has a crush on another girl out of our class I’ve never been so heartbroken. 💔
Maybe *I* am the Problem? Maybe I am a shitty person but I can't do anything Abt that and I Wish I could because even my Family hates me but Nobody tells me what I can do and I Just wanna be someones favourite Person🙁
5:45 I’m the daughter I do everything and my brother is the best
😔Venting😔 my uncle and my aunt took my cousin from me And my family and moved far away to avoid us that cousin was pretty much a child to my I loved her so much I miss her and can’t take this any more I wanna just lay in the snow forever and see what happens I can’t take school I can’t focuse I get in trouble and yelled at a lot and just need a hug my friends cut me off I hate everyone in my old school now I love being home school. 😭 My other cousin did when I was young. What ever I do is never enough in life
i have to make them think im getting better
currently bawling bc this one vid said sum bout "ur gaining weight again".. made me think about the same thing my own mother said to me.. i gaiined weight during covid bc i was j home all day long and i didnt have friends so i gained 40 lbs its been almost 3 yrs now still the same weight.. sorta. im 15 and 176 lbs. i wen to the doctors yesterday i was so confident i lost at least 5 lbs. bc i was 170.. but.. obviously not. ive been over eating again. i have an ed. but instead of starving myself when im sad i binge on food all day long. for the past few days ive been catching myself eating constantly and i feel bad.. i try to stop but i cant. so i was deeply upset when i saw i gained more.. it hurts.
It's 99% possible I have anger issues. I get really angry at things that aren't even that serious and I KNOW it's not that serious, but I can't really control it.
Saying: *I want to break things.*
For the first one I hate December it reminds me of a lot.
The first one.. uMM. uMmmM UMm is I my BIRTHDAYY ✨✨😅
idk what happen to me and my bsf in 5 grade i was new and we lives eachother so much and berber weren’t together and then leah came around over the summer and she don’t talk to me as much and it’s sad bc she was my first real bsf and i feel her fading away from me every day
The fact I can relate to these is awful.
1:28 I FUCKING HATE THIS SHIT PPL ACT LIKE ALL OF THE YOUNGEST KIDS IN FAMILIES GET EVERY THING NOT ALL OF US DO LOTS OF US HAVE TO GROW UP W/ EVERYTHING AROUND US BROKEN AND CONFUSING AND ALL WE KNOW IS PAIN AND WE GROW UP NUMB AND WE ARE TOLD BY OLDER SIBLINGS “oh please you didn’t get it as bad as us” BECAUSE WE DO HAVE IT AS BAD IF NOT WORSE I HAD TO WATCH MY SISTER ABANDON ME AND I NEVER GOT TO SAY GOODBYE I WAS FUCKING 4 AND THAT TRAMA IS STILL W/ ME AND I HAVE ABANDONMENT ISSUES NOW AND I GREW UP WITH YELLING AND ABUSE AND ONLY ONE OF MY FAMILY MEMBERS CARED AND EVERYONE ELSE SAID “oh shut up it wasn’t that bad” or “everyone fights stop over reacting” OH SO DADS AND KID /STEP KIDS BITEING AND KICKING AND SLAPPING AND YELLING AT EACH OTHER IS NORMAL?!? RIGHT IN FRONT OF A 3 YO IS OKAY BC “oh she/he will forget” WE NEVER FORGET. IM DONE W/ THIS SHIT NOT. ALL. YOUNGEST. GET. AFFECTION. OR. MORE/ANY. ATTENTION. AT. ALL.
march is getting close :Happy birthday to you happy birthday to you *thump*
12:14 Can I have the name of the music please ?
Running Away by VANO 3000, BADBADNOTGOOD, and Samuel T.Herring👍
I can relate to 1:10 a little too much...
Song name for 0:38?
I feel the one about joking about your friends leaving I joke about that but it does hurt a lot it makes me think I'm just not good enough or I did smth wrong when I didn't do a thing I know I drown myself in my music it's my safe place I can't socialize comfortably anymore people have to get over that I can't explain it so don't ask me to don't tell me it's not that hard to talk to someone it is for some people I hate how everyone thinks it's just THAT easy to talk to someone I'm always worried I'm ganna say smth that they think is weird or stupid or they might judge me for liking smth I panic when I try to talk to people so please when I have my headphones in LET. ME. BE!
I really like my friends!
They punch me.
They leave me.
They abandoned me.
They hurt me.
They say lies about me to everyone.
They swear at me.
They Blame on me.
They Hurt me.
They say they never friends with me
That's why I like my friends! 🙂
can someone tell me what gum does to you? at 8:44 it says something abt gum
it makes u feel less hungry, and if u hate the shape of your body you can chew gum and starve. i feel bad for the people who do this
Everyday I wake up, I get ready, I go to school, work, and come back home… during my time at school I see pretty girls left and right… and wish i could be… just… as… pretty…. Yet I struggle with even being able to talk to them… I feel like they despise me because of how I look compared to them… so… I try to cope with the feeling of being alone and not feeling pretty by talking to my friends… which they’re also… pretty… I try not to feel bad about myself but it’s difficult…
0:23 😓😓
8:23 gonna buy some now ig
So uhhh.. I'm pretty sure I have some form of schizophrenia and probably the one where you have a bunch of different personalities. Basically, I'm constantly in a state of fear. I know in my heart that my friends and family (now at least) would never try to physically or mentally hurt me, but just about every night I dream a regular, weird dream and then I have a nightmare, and one of my loved ones kills me, or I die in front of or because of them. It can range from just a simple hug n' stab the back, or slit my throat, or someone I cannot see holds me back and I have to watch them die, or vice versa, or it gets extravagant. For instance, Once I dreamed that one my friends who was artist drew me, and I was watching from afar as they erased parts. When they erased, it happened to the real me. I had to stand and watch as I lost my leg, my arm, and chest. They then redrew the parts, and erased my eyes to replace them with X's, and redrew wounds over the erased parts. As I fell back, bleeding out and blind, I heard paper ripping and the dream ended. I can usually tell when I'm in a nightmare, because nobody ever has eyes. just smooth flesh or gaping holes where the kind eyes of my loved ones would be. Thats why when I mess up or panic, It makes it worse when I see people's eyes because I know I cant wake up. I've mastered the art of snapping my own neck in a dream so I don't have to continue with the dream, because sometimes it gets too intense. I crack my fingers and neck a lot, especially when I'm panicked because I need to test if It'll kill me or not. But anyways, I see things. vague, roughly humanoid forms that appear whenever I feel an emotion, the stronger the emotion the more visible they become. oddly enough, I can't see any of the hallucinationary beings with my glasses on, so I wear them even though they give me migraines. Anyways, I've categorized the personalities by nicknames I was given while I used them. "Jojo", the first and most innocent kind one, me when I was a kid, is effectively dead. Sometimes I see her, But she is always being held up or dragged by another person. each of these "people" represent a different emotion, or feeling. "Jojo" was joy, now mostly fear and vulnerability. "Fatie-Jo" is shame. "Kat" is anger and violence. "KJ" is forgetfullness, numbness, and being forgotten. "Katie" is the base setting, who I use reflexivly for people I don't know and is politeness, and is kind of like a porcelain doll, and the most like a mask. Katie, while looking kind, loving and gentle, with too rough of a grip she shatters and reveals the worser parts inside. "Jo" is effectively Katie, but for people I know enough to talk to regularly but not enough for them to know me. and "Charlie", (which will be my name when I transition, I'm transmasc) is art, literature, and creativity. I rarely get to use charlie. But Charlie's form is the most distorted, then again they all look like stitched together shadow demons with something to signify what they represent, Jojo is a ghost, Jo and Katie wear masks, Kj is kinda see through, and Kat looks like they constantly crave blood and violence lmao. Anyways imma shut up.
has anyone else been drinking a lot more water than usual?
me: gets caught sh ing on my arm
Me now who yesterday relapsed and started doing it on my leg instead