I once saw a young lady looking very panicked with a guy following her around. I grabbed my husband's hand and dragged him over saying "Where the heck have you been? Dad and I have been looking for you for 20 minutes!" We took her to her car and followed her home. We are still friends to this day.
That's very smart and brave. There's strength in numbers people. If you see someone in trouble, don't look away like it's not my problem. I don't know you so i don't care. If others did that when you need help, how would you feel. Strength in numbers and this is a good example.
@@WhitneyDahlin that's why he needs that recognition ❤ his hardwork and sacrifice is well-deserved to be seen and they were both able to survive because of him ❤
First off, YES!! That guy did so much for his brother and his mom. That being said mom needed to be punished, not rewarded for that neglectful behavior. That messes kids up. I can tell he is doing the right thing now. He is getting his story out. Sharing stuff like that can help greatly in the healing process. Is CPS right in every case? No, an underfunded, understaffed, and service that only is shared about when things go wrong can’t be at all equipped to fill the unfortunate need that exists. I don’t say these things flippantly; I say them as someone who has been in his shoes. I had two younger siblings and one older. We were abandoned in similar ways and my older brother and I got our younger siblings up and took care of them. My story ended differently. We went into the foster system and though my younger siblings were placed, and adopted into a different family we have kept in touch. My heart aches for any kid who has or is living in situations like this. It’s hard, but things do get better.
Absolutely! It's not easy raising a sibling and still keeping your life on track. This kid did what I did for my siblings at a time when I never knew when mom was coming back. It hit close to home hearing his stories, not everyone is blessed with parents who have it all together. I give him a lot of credit and I hope that he and his brother are still close, like me and mine are. I became mom to them, like he said he was mama now, and they never forgot all the things I did for them. Thank goodness there are good big brothers and sisters out there who want to keep everyone safe and together.💗
That cat tip is facts! In college my roommate and I had some eerie feelings we were being stalked. My cat would act crazy at night running from window to window. One night when we had several friends over she started alerting again at the windows. Several of our guy friends ran outside to find a creep in the alley trying to peep in our windows. They chased him out and we called the police. PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR ANIMALS!!!!!!!
Very true. I have two cats, and they'll alert if a car door slams in my driveway or they hear footsteps. Anything they don't hear very often, or that they know means another human will show up, they have a sharp reaction. So if I hear a noise, my cats will let me know if I need to worry about it.
My friend back in high school taught me this. If anyone is giving you unwanted attention make eye contact and pick your nose. It's never failed me in 30 years lol.
Those tips from that one woman reminded me about a time I took my dog on a walk in my neighborhood and he started acting really weird just constantly turning around. He’s usually very good and controlled in the leash so I corrected him originally and he kept doing it. I turned around to look saw nothing. He did it again, I turned around, saw nothing. He turned around again and started growling this eerie low tone I’ve never heard him make before and I turned and saw a guy I love never seen in our neighborhood before about 3-4 houses away. He gave me the weirdest shiver up my spine and I knew something was off. My dog went ballistic, hair raised on his back and did a super intimidating bark. And I just stood and stared at him and luckily I think my dog scared him and he turned around! Always trust a hound’s nose! Thanks for having my back Atticus ❤
I've had the same experience before while still living in a dodgy af neighborhood and honestly, to this day, what I'd like to know is how that guy ever thought that was worth a shot in the first place. You didn't state, but I for one am not walking a Chihuahua, I'm walking a whole-ass Belgian Shepherd. I mean- really?! And don't get me wrong, it was still scary and I'm super glad we both had our doggies with us, but... yeah... really dudes?!
I took my little dog out about 2 wks ago. She kept barking. But a different bark. I didn't know I got followed home until I saw I had been. I tried to go in my door. He pushed. He managed to squeeze an arm and leg in my door. He was so much stronger. He was going to get in. So... I let the door pull back towards me, and while he was sliding limbs in... I slammed it on his limbs with the fury of a thousand guardian Angels. Police only gave him a no trespassing... Because technically he was the one who got injured. Wtf??? Can't sleep since then :(
The one about the cats gave me goosebumps and almost made me cry. Because it's true. I was walking home from a friend's house. I had my headphones in and had my music VERY loud. This guy walks by with his dog and I take my headphone out to tell him that I thought his dog was cute. he said thanks and we both went on our ways.... or so I had thought. Not even two minutes later I come across this cat. I approached it to try and pet him. He started to skitter across the road, and it was looking at something behind me. Which suddenly hit me as weird. So, I look behind me and that guy with the dog was like 30ft behind me. Without the dog, walking pretty fast. I had a sinking feeling in my stomach that something wasn't right. So, I turned down the music and only had one earbud in. I continued to walk but just with a little pep in my step. After about a minute after that, I turned around to look at the cat again and that guy was about 10ft behind me walking super friggin fast. UNTIL he saw me turn around and suddenly, he slowed down. And it didn't help that where he slowed down was in some shadows of some trees where there isn't a streetlight. The sun was setting, and it was that time where it's getting dark out, but you can still see someone sitting out on their porch 3 or 4 houses up the street. But it was going to be dark verrrry soon. The alarms officially started going off. I took the other headphone out and decided to take a left. Just to see what he would do Sure enough he takes a left too. I tell myself that's a coincidence. So, I walked 3 more blocks decided to take another left. AGAIN, he took a left. I told myself nah, this isn't a coincidence. But I decided to cross the street to go to the sidewalk on the other side JUST to make sure. Ya'lll when I tell you that the fear that filled me that night was a fear I had NEVER felt in my life before when he too crossed that street. my heart feels like it's going to jump out of my chest typing this out. I immediately decided to call my momma "HEY MOMMMAA WHATS UP?" As loud as I could. then I quietly told her please please stay on the phone. Don't hang up. Then loudly I say "YEAH YEAH IM ON MY WAY HOME. JUST AROUND THE CORNER" "AWH DANG SORRY MOMMA I ALREADY PASSED THE STORE; ILL GET IT TOMORROW." Meanwhile she's just asking me what's wrong over and over again. I lowly say, "hold on I'm being followed by a man". I'm 9 blocks away from a road that is a main road with a lot of cars on it. Within this 15 second interaction with my mother on the phone, this man who was then well within range of grabbing me up, was no longer in sight. Just GONE. The only place he could have gone, was back down the hill that he had just been following me up on. My momma stayed on the phone with until I got onto our street. Honestly one of the most terrifying experiences of my life. And I accredit that kitty for me still being here today. because if it weren't for that cat not looking at me while it was skittering away from me (the human walking towards him), I would've never known about the guy suddenly without his dog behind me.
Sometimes they are both. I have a cat who wakes me if my sugars get too low when I am sleeping. She goes nuts on me. Hitting me in the face, meowing, actually nipping my nose. Then other days, she don't want anything to do with me. Love all animals.
I have three cats...you are correct! Our cats guard us against all kinds of things, including dangerous blood sugar things (type 1 in the family) and if someone was bothering around the windows I suspect they'd make a fuss. @@Chuuyas_FancyHat
My husband was living on his own in a tent at the lake bottom at 11yrs old. He got himself to school every day, managed to feed himself etc... By 16 he had his own home (trailer but it was a home and paid for), graduated HS a year early... He's incredible
I remember being in a “street smart” sort of class for women led by a female police officer. She talked about how oftentimes when someone is giving off sketchy vibes in public and we think they might be creeping on us, it can be our first instinct to do nothing, because we don’t want to “make a scene” or “seem mean.” Not doing anything, though, can make someone with bad intentions feel more confident that they can do something much worse to you once you’re alone. She advised us to look them dead in the eyes and yell something akin to “Do we have a PROBLEM?” or anything angry that would draw other people’s attention. Not only have a bunch of people just seen them bothering you, but if you stare really hard they’ll realize you could give a good description of them to police. It doesn’t guarantee that they’ll leave you alone but it does significantly decrease the chance that they’ll do anything now that there’s so much risk involved. Even if you’re not 100% sure that they’re being creepy, it’s much better to accidentally be mean to someone than not do anything and potentially get attacked later. Edit: Some ppl are misinterpreting this as “lol yelling at random men for no reason is totally ok, slay besties girlboss (etc etc).” Y’all are missing the point. The point is that I don’t want to be mean. Nobody wants to be mean (with a few exceptions). And nobody wants to yell at someone who was literally just minding their own business, especially if a million people see you do it. But there are people who are very subtle in public, testing the waters to see if you’ll say anything. If you feel unsafe, IT IS OK to risk being an a-hole. Sure, the person could be totally fine, but what if they’re not? Do you really want to take that risk? I don’t. It’s not that I don’t mind yelling at people (I’m a very mild-mannered person who tries to avoid conflict at all costs, actually), it’s that you need to be willing to put that aside bc your safety is more important. So yeah.
I had a lot of men be offended because they were randomly accused of following a woman. Had to make them see the other perspective : annoy them by risking being wrong / being alive or not raped. Sorry guys, but mistakes can happen, and women have to prioritize their well being over your ego on this. (I'm not talking about calling the cops situations, but confronting the creep in public).
My friends think I'm too aggressive sometimes, but I know I looked a pursesnatcher dead in the eyes after a long day of class and made sure my vibe was "if you approach me, I'm going to make you taste your ballsack."
@@lisamartin9831 not offended, by am amused at how screaming at a man just walking passed you while shopping is now not only acceptable but ‘recommended😂 I saw a vid the other day where a women was congratulating herself for screaming at a man trying to get in his own car, three cars away from hers!!
This. In my women's self defence class they taught us the same thing - speak up! Make a scene! Guys who are genuinely decent humans but who were accidentally frightening us will understand. The others are creeps and deserve a scene to be made about them. It might be a bit embarrassing to cause a scene, especially if it turns out we were mistaken about the man's intentions, but as my teacher would point out 'no one has ever died of embarrassment...' (yes, she would somehow also 'say' the pause to give us all the chance to fill it in - people have died - been killed - from not wanting to cause a scene). Edited: 'the pause' somehow didn't get in the original and should have been.
i hate this. I would rather, no matter your gender, you yell and be a *KAREN* if need be, if you feel even 2% in danger. I need to know. WE need to know. you need help, we got'chu fam; make a damn scene >_> sheesh
I learned (from my sociolinguistics course out of all places) that your walk posture can do a lot to protect you, especially women. Women tend to take smaller shorter steps as it's "dainty" and ladylike to take up less space, whereas men take big steps to assert dominance and take up space. So keep your head up and take big strong steps, walk like you're on a mission. It's helped me out of uncomfortable situations before as confidence can subconsciously be intimidating.
Yep, sometimes when I’m walking in public and I don’t want anyone to mess with me, I act like I’m in a bad mood with a sort of angry face and walk like I’m on a mission- which I am, the mission is to make sure no one messes with me. I have an attitude like I just want beat somebody up 😂
If you're being followed, DO NOT go home! One night I was on the bus (normally didn't ride the bus this late, but my job was hosting a charity event and I stayed late for extra hours). I saw this guy outside look at me, get on the bus, and got off at the same stop as me (2 or 3 stops from where he got on). I immediately clock him as that behavior is suspicious and not many people took the bus in this neighborhood. I noticed that he was following me, so I crossed the street. So did he. I crossed again. So did he. Now I'm in a neighborhood with more houses than businesses, but I know that if I can get there in one piece there's a Walgreens. I pretended to go in, but I actually snuck around to the side. He saw me "go in" and he started looking for me! I made sure to stay in the shadows and ran home (a block from Walgreens). Never saw Creepy Loser again.
Definitely let the bus driver or Lyft, subway or whatever public transport you're using KNOW you're being followed & DON'T FEEL SAFE. Most of them will go into PROTECTIVE MODE & STEP UP. This has worked for me more than once but you have to COMMUNICATE to as MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE about it. DON'T let the stalker or creep scare you into SILENCE. ❤🙏🌏
@@amichaels1871 she didn’t know he was stalking her until he got off the bus after her. What is she supposed to turn around right to him as the bus most likely will be driving away? She was smart to do what she did. Maybe call someone too and stay on the line to have a record.
I disagree with the wedding ring hack. I was a bartender for a while, and I saw a lot of people hit on those with wedding rings. Unfortunately, they see the ring 💍 and think it means they can hook up with you with no strings attached. They assume you will sleep with them but you won’t want to do anything that will ruin your marriage so you’ll keep this a secret.
I agree with the bartender. When I first got engaged I would get comments like it's not a wedding ring yet, I could change your mind 😂 I told my fiance that it felt almost like a sword challenge to men
A few months ago, Charlotte replied to my comment about losing my job. Happy to say I am finally in a great new job, making more, and most importantly, being treated better! ❤️😀 Thanks Charlotte!
The safe word idea is a good one. My mom kinda used this for us when we were kids. She was a single mom, and had worries that people from my dad's side of the family would come an try to kidnap us. So she had this rule with us that if she ever sent someone to pick us up after school, she would tell them a code word. Then if we ever had someone that said they were sent by her to pick us up, we were to ask for this code word. And to never get in the car if they didn't answer or gave the wrong word. Then if the word was used once, she planned to change it. We never had to use it luckily, but I think this is a good system to keep kids safe if you are worried about something like this.
well thats pretty much policy in the uk for any schools, not sure where you are from but you cant pick up someones child unless they know the password that the parent has told the school
I had the same system with my daughter when she was in primary (junior) school. We had to use it twice due to unforeseen circumstances, but she was safe at least.
@@bm-ww8kb It is in practice much more than it used to be in America. Most schools have security, and you have to show identification and sign in at the front office too
I basically use my cat as a personal alarm. The moment it sounds like someone's at the door, she perks up and fluffs up because she's the textbook definition of a one-person cat. I wear headphones a lot to avoid noise complaints with my apartment neighbors so if I'm listening to music and I see her suddenly fluff up and focused, I take the headphones out and do a sweep of what's going on. Paid off when someone tried to quietly pick my lock one night. I might not hear you but the fluffy baby will. Called the cops and scared the crap out of them when I slammed myself against the front door.
My oldest cat is like that as well, once she hears something going on, she investigates at a distance. Our youngest on the other hand runs away until at a safe distance then watches.
I will never forget the line from a short story I read in college about a twelve year old girl holding a shotgun up to the glass of her front window when a stranger approached the house at night, so it "kissed" the glass and made the guy on the other side realize he was a pane of glass away from being killed. Carry that energy.
When I was reading this I was thinking I would go up to the door and start banging on it to scare them and you ended up saying you’d slam yourself against the door😂
In my wifes family they have always told the kids and teens (went into adulthood with them) to use "can you call in a take out from the Greek place up there street" as a not safe code. The only reason they chose this for them is because the Greek place they went to all the time did not allow call in orders (at the time this started). So they always ask if the person on the phone is hungry (even if they were at home because you never know) as a way to open up the chance to ask for help. They still ask if each other is hungry on the phone. I've noticed that now most of their family ask this question and they are all listening for the same code. It spread through the whole family and she has a huge family, but I think this is genius.
@@Stephanie-cl4fu to clarify, the call in order from the Greek place is the code, asking if you're hungry is just a way to work it into the conversation. I asked her why do they still ask each other this even as adults (to me the fact that not one of them has had to use the code makes it odd that they still do it). But she clarified that if someone was hurting one of them when they weren't safe and the person was familiar with the family, then they wouldn't think it was weird that the other is asking if they're hungry or if they want food. Which is true because our first few dates I didn't even have a second thought when her mother or brother would ask her afterwards if she was still hungry or wanted anything.
Even though us men are less likely to become a victim in a lot of bad situations, I still think it pays off for men to also develop situational awareness. Even though we're 3 times less likely to become a victim, a chance of it happening is still there. And also, we might be able to step in and potentially save someone else if we're aware of something happening to them.
I agree. Men can get attacked too. I've read a few posts about men stepping in when he sees something suspicious. They saw someone needed help or not aware of a threat and stepped in to help without being creepy themselves. Men, the best thing you can do is call out other men who are threatening people. Hold your friends accountable and help women feel safer. It's disgusting that women need to be so aware and careful because there are so many men who are predictors.
@@charg1nmalaz0r51 for fights, murders, and gang shootings, and even then, ratio wise it's still less than crimes which typically happen with women as victims, mainly sex crimes.
@@techguydilan i'm talking about crime in general. I did a crimonal psychology course and unless things have changed drasticall in 10 years or if our locations are different it was always the case that men ages 18-25 were the main victims of crime.
@@charg1nmalaz0r51 for all crime, according to FBI's 2021 statistics, victims' sex is about half and half, 417k males, 405k females. However for isolating it down to rape, the victim ratio is 9k male, for 83k female. For human trafficking, involuntary servitude, it's 159 male to 255 female. For kidnapping/abduction, it's 8k male to 28k female. For sexual assault with an object, it's 840 males, for 6,030 females. Those are the crimes women are mainly worried about, because of the heinous nature of them (most would probably prefer to be mugged or carjacked instead of being raped) and the fact that the suspects specifically choose women due to sexual preferences and lesser physical prowess to defend themselves with. The problem with looking at total crime, is it also includes carjackings and home invasions, where the victim isn't selected due to sex specifically. In those crimes, they may just look at the car or house and say to themselves, "that looks like a nice car/house, let's steal it or break in and steal its contents." Then the victim just happens to be a man, therefore reported as a male victim. And they might have not been in their home or car when the theft happened, therefore less traumatizing. Even in murders, especially male to male, are more likely to be due to an altercation of some sort, like revenge because of an outcome. Or murdering a man who had an affair with their SO too. (self-admittedly, me saying that comes from hearing about a few of these cases, the only few murders I hear of in my rural area). I've probably only heard of one case where a man was kidnapped and then murdered. Whereas I've heard about at least three or four cases involving female victims. So even though murder happens more to men, female victims still account for a quarter of homicides, and those cases, in my experience, they're more likely to be selected due to no fault of their own, kidnapped, then murdered. Shit, 4 out of 5 well known serial killers targeted women. As a man, I can significantly reduce my chances of being murdered by staying out of gang life and drama. Women don't have such luxury most of the time.
Coming from a military household, we were taught to always be paying attention to the little details. This has saved me and my family so many times. My Papa showed us how to keep an eye out and always look for exits in busy places, always check for people acting strange and steer clear or even leave if it looks sus. I had eventually been followed one day after school as a teen, and I went a few blocks with them following in a window tinted jeep, but I knew my home was still 5 blocks away so I remembered I saw another girl walking behind that I passed at the last corner, so I turned back and walked up to her and told her what was going on. She let me stand on her porch which was close by until the car eventually left, this was before cellphones were common so I had no way to call anyone. She was a complete stranger but she helped me to get away from someone who was following me. I'll never forget that. I've also seen people out in public having crisis situations and stepped in pretending to know them and got them away from creepy people who wouldn't leave them alone. Sometimes people can't get away or are too scared to draw attention when they need help, so I have made it a mission to always watch out for anyone in crisis so that I can assist just in case of emergency. It helps to know there's people out there who care, even if they don't know you personally. Always be checking your surroundings and never have music so loud in your ears that you can't see. I lost a friend to a car accident as a teen also, bc he was listening to music in his ears and didn't hear while he was biking down a busy street. We were only 16 and that whole situation hit me hard, so even at 40, I never go out with my music so loud that I can't hear what is going on around me. Stay safe out there people! Don't be afraid to ask for help when you are scared!
I travel alone a lot. The “walk with a purpose” is great advice! I always walk like I know where I’m going through uncomfortable paths. Just head in to a store and look at your phone if you have to. If not, walk until there are people around, restaurants etc.
I also carry my keys so that single keys are sticking out between my fingers so that if I need to punch a mofo it will really hurt, maybe gouge an eye. Keep your phone handy, but not looking at. Keep your head up, and on a swivel!
@@LazyIRanch yes, be aware of your surroundings, always. I have judged situations as possible danger that turn into just someone being dropped off often. In a different country you have less knowledge of what is “normal”. But always look like you are comfortable! I actually feel more comfortable now that I gained a lot of weight, sadly. It is less interest of being “sexy” and it’s harder to carry me 😅
3:35 is a self protection tool I've used since I was very young. I don't personally use random single words as it's suspicious and out of place. It can potentially trigger the perp to attack too. I use commonly said stuff. Different phrases mean different levels of danger and situations. I call using facetime so everything is visible, adding a layer of protection. If they don't answer facetime I'll just call normally. Something like "OMG I just saw Uncle Pasquale!!" I don't have an uncle with that name. Which means I'm uncomfortable or being followed. Please stay on the phone with me and be vigilant. If i need to be picked up from a bad situation I'll say " how close are you now, cuz I'm already at (my location). Then they know to get to me ASAP, but it's not a 911 situation. If at any time I say something like "don't forget the baby shower(birthday party, meet up, etc) tomorrow at noon" that means send the police to my location NOW! EMERGENCY!! If I ask "was the baby shower(or birthday party, meet up,etc) rescheduled?" that means be prepared to call at any second. If i give the be prepared to call message and decide I REALLY DO NEED POLICE NOW!! I'll randomly say "I'll meet you there tomorrow at noon, okay?" With ”noon" ALWAYS meaning call police. The non-existent celebration is the alert phrase meaning I'm in real danger. It's something I've used with close family for so so long it's been passed down to my younger sister. Now my daughter's even use it when they're in uncomfortable situations with friends. It's something that won't alert a stalker or dangerous person, but we all know exactly what it means. The non-existent party is the signifier that something's really wrong, so pay attention. Noon is the clear signal to call 911. Even my closest friends know the deal. It's been a lifesaver a few times.
I remember a story that Carol Burnett told about dealing with a potential mugger. True story: she was younger (don't remember how old), in NYC, and was so scared when the guy grabbed her but she had the presence of mind to do her Tarzan yell. 😮 The guy freaked out and ran away! I love her! 😂
Yes. Do not be afraid to use your pipes. Do not say help, but fire or something odd that catches attention. Or just freaks them out. I, myself, am rather proud of how high, strong and long I can sustain an ear shattering sound. One time, after talking about scamcallers, I'd mentioned how they stopped calling after me banshie shrieking into the phone, some co-workers talked me into making it... well, they could barely hear anything for minutes after. Would be fun to measure the decibels on that one.
Storytime: when I was living in my college dorm someone got the bright idea of putting pictures on the door of who lived in each room. When they came by to take my picture I straight up refused. I said it was a bad idea and wasn't safe. They even got the advisor to come up and try to convince me. I still said no. Two weeks later a man was arrested in the dorm down the street after he snuck in and was, shall we say, enjoying himself a little too much. Some poor girl got up to go to the bathroom, saw him and called the cops. No one ever mentioned the pictures again.
Oh gosh! I'm so glad everything turned out okay although I'm sure the girl who found him was probably traumatized! Some people are so willfully dumb! They should have listened to you! This is why I have my CC. I never leave home without it and I believe all women should get one as well. So. Many. Women. would be alive today if they had carried on their body at all times. We shouldn't have to carry weapons around in order to be safe but that's the world we live in. We don't live in a perfect Utopia and we will never live in a perfect utopia. I always wear a lot of cute dresses and so I literally have a thigh holster so I'm safe and cute! You wouldn't leave the house without your phone, don't leave the house without a weapon either.
In one of the hotels I used to work as a maid they came up with the idea to give us nametags with our country of origin, our hobbies and things we'd like to talk about. The managers wanted the guests to know what to talk about with us. I refused to do this from the very beginning. First of all, we were not there to have smalltalk with the guests, we had a certain amount of time to clean a room and were not paid for the extra time we spent there. Second, these are all private things I didn't want to share with anybody. Hotels are full of creeps who think they can do anything with us just because they are paying to stay there. And thirdly, I was sexually abused by a guest in another hotel and it started with him asking me about my nametag. I told all these things to my supervisor who didn't understand my concern, she thought it was just a funny idea. At the end we luckily didn't have to wear the tags
Something tangentially related; if you see any of this stuff happening, be the one to step in. There's s psychological phenomenon called the bystander effect where we all assume that someone else will step in to help people... But because everyone is thinking that, nobody acts. The best way to combat it is to know about it so i try to share about it as much as I can
the primary case that was used to prove the "bystander effect" was actually disproved, but I agree with you. Always be the person to step in and be onto it.
A friend and I totally stopped a woman from drinking a drugged drunk! We saw her date put something in her drink when she went to the bathroom, so we told our waitress. She made an excuse ("oops, wrong table, my bad"), took the drink, and found the lady to warn her. We found out later she was in a first date from an app. Watch out for each other out there, ladies!
The guy that took care of his little brother is awesome. I was homeless at 11 yrs old and I never knew that there were places like that. I didn't even know about child protective services. Wish I would have been as smart as he was at that age. Luckily I was introduced to a family that took me in when I was 14 or 15. I'm now in my late 40's and I'm still close to that family. They are more of a family to me than my own family has ever been. I am lucky to have them in my life to this day. Like I've always heard and found to be true you don't have to be blood related to be family.
The tip about the noise cancelling headphones is very true. As a woman who has been living alone for years in big cities, my tip would be to actually wear headphones when you're walking by yourself or in public transportation. No music _ you do want to be aware of your surroundings _ but headphones are a deterrent for unwanted conversations, and they do give you an excuse for not responding to sollicitations or not reacting to catcalling without seeming rude.
Best advice I was ever given: Don’t look like a victim if you don’t want to be one, meaning keep your head on a swivel, make eye contact, and walk with purpose. I will sometimes take it a step further and add an aura of “I will always choose violence”. That is how I, a 5’2”, 125 pound woman can split crowds on NYC sidewalks walking against the tide and ride the subway solo without worries. Being in denial about what could happen makes it more likely.
I've got a tip, for people who have a history of abusive relationships. Any new potential partner that comes along, make them wait for a commitment. Take things slow. Most abusers want to move at lightning speed, and so if you tell them you want them to earn your trust first, it will turn them off. Be safe out there ❤
My husband ish did this with me. I needed a place to go, my landlord kicked my daughter and I out on Christmas and we had 3 days to get out. I refused to pay rent until he fixed all the windows and doors. I lived in a busy street and people kept breaking in and walking in off the street. He said I didn’t pay the electric bill and shouldn’t worry about the windows being broke and the door not shutting all the way. The judge didn’t see things my way, I contacted renters rights but it was too late. My landlord moved everything along too quickly and I was out. So, my new bf said he couldn’t move me in with him. I said I never asked you babe. I couldn’t put you in that situation. He went home that night and chewed it over and slept on it. The next evening he showed up after work with his truck and a trailer and he moved me out all by himself and moved me into his house. We’ve been five years strong now and not a fight between us. Both of us had previously came from very extensive abusive relationships. Boundaries and respecting boundaries keeps us safe.
i gave this tips to my own best friend! She got cheated on and was badly gaslit to the point she thought it was herself who's the problem. I told her that i had bad premonition about that guy earlier in their relationship, one of the red flags was how fast they got things going on. She asked how long would it take before it is "ideal" to start dating, she was adamant for a number so I said 6 months. She was surprised by how long i suggested, but I told her 6 months is nothing and if a man wait for her for that long, it means he's serious. A few weeks later, she started dating with her current fiance, who turned out to have had a crush on her for 3 years before he finally confessed in our final year of college.
@@thomasjoseph5876 I think in these cases the person likely has childhood trauma with abusive family of origin & that’s why it feels familiar/safe to be in that dynamic in the 1st place. It’s so true that until you do the work on yourself to heal past traumas, you will continue repeating the abuse cycle… everyone is different though, and sometimes it’s difficult to see what’s happening until you have hindsight or time to reflect. I think some people keep themselves busy with drama so they don’t have to do the painful work of looking inward…
As someone who was the child of an addict I can say for a fact that that the crap I've gone through has definitely made me a very resourceful person. I felt that whole part from the food pantry not letting a kid pick up the food, forging the signatures, and taking care of siblings (I was the 3rd oldest out of 7 and the other two older kids were also on drugs so the younger ones including my autistic little sister were left to me to take care of) just for your 'mother' to turn around and say "oh you think you grown now huh" well yes, yes I do. Tell me why my siblings would make ME mothers day cards/gifts and not you then ma'am. And he was not joking about the splitting up siblings and having that fear. I wanted to tell social services for years that we were not okay but I didn't want to lose my siblings and have everyone hate me. I cried to god one day begging for him to send someone to save us so I wouldn't have to do it and be hated and a week later police showed up and took us all in the middle of the night. It was hell at first but I know for a fact I'd have more dead siblings than I do now if that didn't happen. Hell, maybe I would've died of an overdose too. On a lighter note, turn the signature upside and THEN copy it. If you try and copy it right side up your brain recognizes it as letters and your own signature will seep through. With it upside down it's just squiggles that you're directly copying.
Sending you love from Houston, TX. I know we don't know each other or anything, but what you did for your family was huge, and I'm proud of you. Carry on.
Thank you! I really needed this today you genuinely made me smile!! Its such a coincidence that i posted this 5 months ago but your response was most needed today. I've had a hard one, so thank you and I appreciate you!@@monicaterry2829
I’ll never forget being a teenager in the early/mid nineties. I lived across the street from a grocery store. I was a few houses down when this creep passed by in his car. He almost had his head out the passenger window with HIS TONGUE OUT. My first instinct was to turn around and go back home, but I instead steeled myself and kept going to the store. Good plan! Going home would have just let him know where I live. Going to a grocery store full of people and employees who knew me was better. He was long gone by the time I left.
so a man drove past you thirty years ago and youre still talking about it on a youtube comment. lmao. low key sounds like youre telling this story as a humble brag tbh
Best advice I can give: Trust your instincts. I listened to mine for my whole life and I avoided very, unpredictable dangerous situations. The one time I DID get into a bad situation was when I put my friend's safety over my own and wilfully put myself in danger to protect them. (I don't recommend doing that). Thankfully, my friend and I were unharmed. This is not me saying everyone who's assaulted just ignored their instincts, but I will say this: your SAFETY is more important than a stranger's FEELINGS. (I.e. if you go on a date and the person is offended you want a picture of them and/or their vehicle to send a friend/family member, that's a red flag). Stay safe out there!
I was with my mother at a league's club. She needed time to let off steam. I was 16 and just chilling with her and texting friends. She haad a rule I adopted as an adult where she didn't have more than 2 alcoholic drinks when out. It's not enough to get drunk and if you are acting drunk then there's something wrong. Anyway she's had her second alcoholic drink and so sends me to the bar to get her a coke. I do that, bring it to her and start texting. Not sure when but I notice she's flopping in her seat, slurring her words. I had to drive her to the hospital. Turns out the BARTENDER spiked the coke thinking it was for me, a literal child. Still gives me shivers to this day
@@kimielle Working in hotels I saw this once and called an ambulance, though the friends of the girl begged me not too because they didn't want their parents to find out they were at the bar. She was drugged and it was the bartender. As far as I know he was charged, fired for sure.
The man talking about what he did to survive as a child I fully relate to. My cousin, siblings and I had to fend for ourselves as our parents were deep in their heroin/cocaine and various other substance addiction and would leave us till 2 in the morning, a day or two or weeks at a time. Sometimes without food or electricity and in winter. My cousin who was like 13 at the time had a babysitting gig across town that she got payed like $1 to $2 an hour for and she sustained 5 of us on McDonald's for about a week one time. And the man's mother's reaction, when he has a moment of pride and she cuts him down before he can even begin....that sh*t sticks with you, you deal with it and make peace only to find it'll come back up again. It never goes away, you just manage it - like anything difficult, really.
My heart breaks and yet - SO much respect for the art of making something out of nothing. I had different experiences but your last sentences have helped me, too. Wishing you the world. 💌
At a teacher's "before school starts" meeting everyone was lined up to sign in and go through an alphabetized box of folders for our individual information packets. I was checking through the box when "someone" came up and covered my eyes from behind. That "someone" was hit in the gut with my elbow and when I turned around I pushed the person down to the floor. It turned out to be a fellow teacher I actually knew a little bit. He thought he was being cute! I'm a pretty quiet person and really don't like attention on me, but I yelled at him to never EVER do that to anyone. He got the message and left me alone. So much that he left the school. I never saw him again. Thankfully there were no repercussions to my "violent" reaction. Everybody got it.
I remember a male coworker I was cool with but didn’t talk to every day did something similar. I screamed “get your damn hands off me”. He got upset but in a sad puppy sort of way (he was big guy but known for being sweet) most of the workers tried to make me feel bad except one guy said “naw you can just walk up on someone and do that. He’s lucky she didn’t take off on him. Think about it, you’re in line and suddenly you’re being grabbed from behind and your eyes are covered…” after that, my reaction was understood
When I was a kid my Mum and brother and I were staying at a hotel and when she went down to get ice at night one of the girls from the front desk came up behind her and poked her finger against her back like a gun and said "don't move." My Mum freaked out and they ended up comping the room and giving us some free room vouchers. 🙃
No, honestly I don't agree and you definitely overreacted. As you described, he was literally trying to be playful and it's 100% a common thing to do, so it wasn't even inappropriate. You should have just told him that YOU didn't like it, and shouldn't have talked on behalf of everyone because I'm sure I wouldn't have remotely reacted the way you did. Just because it makes YOU uncomfortable, it doesn't mean it's a general discomfort for everybody else. Quite an entitled assumption there.
In defense of the girl trying to use the bottle opener, if you did that to me and just kept on saying, “other way,” without giving a proper explanation of what you mean by that, the other person is going to be confused. If someone did that to me, I’d look them dead in the eye and say, “either walk me through the steps or show me how to do it, because if you say other way one more time you’re going to regret it.”
I was screaming during that one! "Show her what you mean!" giving someone a gadget they've never used before, then calling them stupid for not knowing how makes you look (or actually be) like an a-h@le.
Also, people seriously forget that it's not necessarily about smart or not. The mental burnout that comes from such a demanding job is crazy high. I work in a hospital, and they're are days where I come home after having to call security on someone coz they napalm "this is sparta" style busted through a plate glass window (while naked) and it takes legit 6 dudes to hold this one tiny person down. Nevermind the psych patient who kicked me, or the code where they were trying to do cpr for 3 hours only for the dude to die anyway. After that kinda day, I really am on 2 brain cells, because I just CAN'T anymore. They're are a lot of jobs that might not be physically demanding, but are so mentally demanding that they wear you out completely. And I imagine the stress or being a surgeon and having someone life literally in your hands, is one of those jobs
@@bottomofastairwell I feel that. While I don’t work in healthcare, one of my friends is a nurse and some of the stories she’s told me are crazy. I don’t know how she does it. I worked in food service for six years at Starbucks, and there were some days where I would be there for 10-12 hours, even if I wasn’t on the floor the entire time. The mental burnout is real. There was one shift that it was just my manager and I four like five hours, because someone called out. I was register, she was barring, we were both running around like crazy, she had to place an order for our food delivery while on bar. Utter nightmare. Once it calmed down and we got someone else on the floor, she had me restock the cups. I grabbed the wrong kind and had already opened the packages when I realized. I was so burnt out that I just said, “shit,” right in front of a customer ordering. My manager just goes, “girl what did you just say?,” and I went, “I mean shoot.” The customer laughed. I would swear on the floor sometimes, but the kind of under your breath, not in front of the customers, type of swearing. My manager knew my brain was fried, and the customer also understood.
The girl who said to get lashes done so she doesn't cry, I understand where's she's coming from, but as I'm learning in therapy it's better to let yourself acknowledge your feelings. It takes way more energy to hold it back in. I kid you not, I allowed myself to ugly cry in the shower the other day...I felt such a clarity and focus that I hadn't felt in a while.
Yeah ....that's the only one here that seemed like not the best advice. But sometimes something works for one person but not for most other people. It seemed like that was mainly a coping mechanism that worked for her. I don't get my lashes done so that wouldn't work for me
@@femmebrulee5053100% If I acknowledge my feelings at an inconvenient time, nothing else gets done but this flood of disruption. Everything will snowball, causing an avalanche that I’ll feel trapped beneath. So, yes, individuation. First thing they teach in premed.
When I was 18 I worked as a barmaid I felt scared walking home felt like this guy was following me, so I rang my grandad and he talked to me all the walk home, It was something I only ever felt the need to do once but it was something Grandad always said I was to do if I was worried walking home from my shift even if it was after midnight he rather be woken up and know I was safe home.
When I was 14/15 my school had this program called "City After Dark". We went back to school and then caught the train into the city with some teachers. It was a really useful experience! There were 4 golden rules - 2 of them were "always know where you are" (take note of street signs, etc) and another was "don't stay in a dark spot." I can't say I remember the other two, but I'm pretty sure one was to always make sure you know where your friends are, or something like that. To this day I'm so glad my school did that excursion!! It's now nearly 20 years later and I still (mostly) remember those rules!!
It's a rule for me not to wear headphones or earphones when walking or out in public, if I do wear earphones I only allow myself to wear it on one ear so I can still hear my surrounding. Another safety tip I learned is that if you are being kidnapped you have to do your best to fight and make a commotion rather than go quietly, its a rule that you should do your best to prevent them from taking you to a second location where it's quieter. I'd rather get shot or stabbed and possibly die like that than have something worse happen to me if I'm taken to a second location.
@Alec Deull I LOOK like Im busy, and wont hear them, but they arent actually plugged into anything. Its another way to get people who would otherwise bother you to not. I can hear everything. Theres no music or anything. AND I can "be on the phone" at any time saying, "I just passed X street, I should be there in Y mins.."
The gut feeling one is so right! As women we always think about it when strange men approach us, but when you get that gut feeling then you must listen. I was on the train at night, and a man sits across from me, and i got a bad feeling just from that idk why. And because i didnt know why i didnt listen to myself. The train was half empty so it was kinda weird he sat so close but not THAt empty that it was super noticeable. So i ignore my feeling. Then because it was really dark and i had to catch a bus later i start checking the stops names, and everytime i bend over to check the window he moves like he is gonna get up too. I dont pay attention because maybe he just wants to let me pass. So i still get the bad feeling when i get to my stop, and he gets down too, so i decide to let him pass and walk slowly, so im able to see him. He starts walking slow too and checking behind. And then i realize that that "gut feeling for no reason" was correct. So anyways i stay on the platform, waiting until the last parents with their carts get off too, then i go with them so im not alone. Its been several minutes since the guy "left". I get to the turnstile and i see he is standing in front of them. He isnt waiting for someone, theres only one platform and im the last one. So there was an exit to the left and another to the right. I should i have pretended i went to the right, but in that moment i didnt think about it, so the moment i made the move to go to the left he leaved that direction too. I decided to stay in the station, where theres cameras, until my bus came because i still had 10 minutes until then. When its time i decide to leave the station, an di see him there, on the door, looking towards inside. So i just realize im not gonna get rid of it by just trying to avoid him, so when i get out and pass next to him i decided to look at him in the eyes, and try to remember his face, for when i call the police. And he likes, sees that i see him (not like he was trying to hide, but i mean his intentions), and i go to the bus, and im ready to tell the bus driver in case he tries to get on the bus too. But he sees me, waiting next to the bus driver, looking directly at him, and he doesnt get up. The bus drove away and nothing happened but i have no doubt if i went home walking something would have happened to me. The worst part is the next day wanting to go to the police, and everyone warning me they wouldnt listen to me "because nothing happened" (My friends were being supportive, but didnt want me to go thru more stress by being gaslighted by the police)
The bumper sticker one has been around for a long time. My parents had to take security classes that included defensive driving due to their jobs, and growing up they always told us to never put any descriptive bumper stickers on our cars as people can use them to single you out for attack. Even ones that might seem innocent like say a dog paw. If you've been targeted (without knowing) they can use that also. Other things we were taught that they learned was always scan your surroundings. Take notice of everyone from anyone that is suspicious to anyone that might be able to aid you. While driving stay about 3 to 4 car lengths away from the person in front of you, and if you can avoid driving directly next to someone then avoid it. Staying far back from the person in front of you will allow (besides the obvious reasons) you to maneuver easier in the event you need to get away from a car trailing you. One of the most important one is to NEVER take the same route daily. Always have at minimum 2 routes, even better if you can have more then 2. Growing up my parents had 4 routes they would take to work, and would mix them up so there was never a "routine". Even when my mom took us to school she had 2 routes. When it came to us at our cheer practice, and ect (I took many things from cheer, karate, blah blah) my parents never left us. My mom would always stay at practice or a friend/girl my ages dad would stay at practice. My friends dad was actually my mom's Boss for a few years so they trusted eachother. It was the only parent that they fully trusted while we were young. My parents weren't spies or anything, I know it sorta sounds like they were 😂 They worked for the Gov and many gov workers have to take defensive driving courses and security courses. I know a bunch more tips, sadly my mom passed away but I could ask my dad if he still remembers some.
Unless you are a celebrity or famous person of any kind, such measures are incredibly unnecessary. No one is following you every day. No one is tracking your every move. You are not the protagonist in a movie. If you feel like you have to take a different route to work every day in order to throw off potential serial killers who are stalking you, you need therapy, not security courses. Statistics show that most crimes are impulsive and the targets are picked at random. No one is planning an elaborate heist to mug you. If you have reason to believe that your life is in danger, get a gun and learn how to use it.
You don't have to be "famous" for someone to stalk you. You don't even have to be good looking. Crazy stuff can happen to ANYONE. It's always a good idea to be alert, pay attention to your surroundings, keep your head on a swivel, etc. Pepper spray is not expensive, neither is a personal alarm or whistle (I have all 3) and if you make a habit of being out after dusk, carry a flashlight. Sometimes that can be enough to deter a potential attack.
@@noxteryn Obviously you weren't a federal government kid or certain type of military kid. It's a different type of up bringing. There were times during my childhood where one of my parents was given a warning for one reason or another and I don't mean a "you're in trouble" warning. We never went out of the country for various reasons, none were financial. Most people will never have a stalker, thankfully, but also many won't experience the sort of upbringing that a fed government kid would which teaches you to ALWAYS be aware of people and surroundings. It's honestly something everyone one should know, especially with how the world is now.
I feel so bad for the guy who was abandoned by his mom. It’s heartbreaking 😢. No 11 year old should have to go through that. I’m proud of him for even being able to take on that responsibility.
Wow that’s messed up. Isn’t Disney supposed to be the Happiest Place on Earth? How could you just abandon your child like that? Their are so many woman who can’t have kids and would gladly have that child. I wasn’t even aware parents were doing that? It’s a crazy world we are living in today.
Charlotte is awesome. She is a genuine person. I love starting off my morning with a Charlotte video. I remember when she quit her job to become a YT, it was definitely a risk, but a risk that paid off.
Brings up the nature vs nurture question… how an 11 yo boy can take on such responsibility while dealing with a horrible situation and a child with a loving family can commit horrific crimes. Kudos to this young man.
I grew up in Venezuela. There are a couple of things I learned to do. Don't be afraid of being rude. If you see someone suspicious, have a good look at them. Let them notice you checking them out, memorizing their outfit and markers. If they don't have the element of surprise on their side, they will move on. Always walk with a purpose, firm confident steps. First thing I do when getting into a car is lock the doors. Also, when you go into a building/home/parking garage with an automated door, you drive in and stop until the door is completely closed again and watching intently that nobody is walking in. A friend of mine got robbed while driving into a building. The robbers slipped in while the door was closing and then put a gun to his head when he got out of the car. If a car in front of you break checks you or makes you hit them on purpose, drive off. If you are at a red light and the car in front of you is not moving acting like it broke down, do NOT get out under any circumstances. Back up and drive around them fast. If a thug stands in the middle of the road trying to get you to stop or have you crash into the side of the road, you run that mofo over. Yep it's that bad. Sooooo there.
I love the advice for paying attention to animals especially cats. My dogs go off if a leaf blows but if my cats are paying attention, I know I need to pay attention.
Yeah animals are the best! They really are man's best friend. My Pitbull is a rescue. And she is extremely attached to me she's very protective. I feel like I'm her emotional support human. I'm a stay-at-home wife so we're together 24/7. And I live in an apartment building (we go on long walks every day together) and there was this person lurking around my porch. We're on the first floor and I do have a bar in the sliding door but you can't tell that there's a bar blocking the sliding door from the outside. And my pit heard him and went charging into living room snarling jumping up against the glass, she was throwing herself up against the glass and this dude was freaked out and walked quickly away. I don't know what he was doing on my porch. Maybe he didn't have any nefarious intentions he was just waiting for a ride or got the wrong apartment. But my dog wasn't going to take any chances. She's literally my best friend she maybe saved my life and I didn't even know it.
I am that person who takes my cats for walks, and I can tell you that when my cat gets spooked by something, I'm paying attention. The other week he was just being weird, refused to walk in a direction we always go, so we turned back. But not before someone came around the corner and was like, "oh, be careful, they're 2 coyotes around the corner down the street" Cats know. I frequently take him with me when I go hiking in the woods. He loves hiking. But he's also my warning system. Even in terms of new people or guys I date. If you can't get along with my cat, it's not gonna work. Lol, thankfully the boyfriend i have more will come over and kitty loves him, he'll even sleep on my boyfriend's head
Exactly. Every time I think the sound I heard is suspicious, I look at my cat. If she is alert, I worry, if she is sleeping just fine, you bet I will be doing the same, lol.
I follow that, but sometimes my cat just randomly freaks out and there's nothing anywhere. I still pay attention, but it does give my a mild heart attack every time she does it.
As older kids, my siblings and I would play in grocery stores while our parents would shop. We would walk quickly and stealthily trying to hide from each other while simultaneously sneaking up on/stalking each other. It really built up skill for us to zig zag to different areas in the store and be very aware of our surroundings. While playing , we simultaneously had to be aware of when our parents were ready to go and still act casual and respectful. This has come in handy because any time I feel uncomfortable in a store or similar environment, I am really good at losing a tale.😂
A tip on keeping yourself and your purchased stuff safe in a parking lot (especially around holidays) is to have your car key in your hand as you leave the store, watch the people around you ie just standing around in the parking lot or the door, and only unlock the driver's door and proceed to get into the vehicle through that door, close and lock it before you start the car. This has helped me numerous times, including people sitting in their own car waiting for you to return. I had a co-worker who got her purse stolen while she emptied her grocery cart into her vehicle. Stay safe, y'all ❤
The stick family thing: on the TV show Dexter one of the villains tricked a kid into going with him by reading his and his family's names off the sticker on their car, then saying he was a police officer and giving him the names of his sister and father and saying they were in an accident. Scary how realistic and plausible that was.
I had an experience a few months ago where a guy I am an acquaintance with (who I probably met at a party or something) wanted to meet up because he was going through something and needed some help. This was to a reply to an IG story I did about mental health. I initially agreed because I was worried about this persons wellbeing, but I made sure to suggest meeting in a public area that was far enough away from my home. Something seemed off and that night I could not sleep and had a really bad feeling about this. The next morning as I was about to cancel on him because this feeling was really overwhelming, he messaged me to ask me to wear something sexy and then I blocked him. A month later I find out this same person went to a comic con in my city and was going around aggressively harassing women. It got to a point where 40+ people came forward with stories of him stalking them, asking them to come to his home for "photoshoots", and other disturbing behavior. After all this, I am so glad my anxiety and my gut kicked in because if I hadn't something bad could have happened. So, even if the person is someone you met before, but you don't know them well enough they are still a stranger and follow that gut!
Always follow the gut feeling. Thank god you did just that. There always will be some 💩 people trying to take advantage of empathetic ones. It’s an easy pray. Even when I look around at social media accounts of guys fundraising money to spread kindness, immediately in their comments there are thousands of scammers trying to get to their followers.
Charlotte, you couldn't be more right about people's energy. It's the most telltale sign that people let off. If you teach yourself, you can read people like book. Much in the way that dogs sense the energy coming off of people and react to them accordingly, you can sense it too. Some people are able to see it even, in the form of color, it's referred to as someone's aura. It's pretty fascinating.
I was walking down some railroad tracks at the edge of town one night, by myself. Some guy was following me. A really big dog ran up to the tracks and stood between us, growling at the man. It's the only time I've ever seen that dog, in my life. And that was about 22 years ago.
As I was growing up my mom would ALWAYS point out the little stick figure family stickers on cars and tell me to NEVER put one on my own car in the future, as you are literally letting everyone know everything about your family. Even as a 17 year old I will notice these stickers and make mental notes about how many kids they have, how many males and females are in that family, what pets they have, etc. and I don’t even mean to do it.
I see a lot of those that have the actual names under each stick figure. That's awfully dangerous. Even the "In Memoriam" ones seem risky. They typically have the full name of the person who died along, with birth and death dates, nicknames, and sometimes names of the survivors. A predator could use that info to prey on them.
Damn. Do people actually do that? They are very... innocent. I will be getting my driving license soon and I'm debating over getting that "new driver" sticker, but then I worry about someone trying to take advantage of me as a new driver and a woman, somehow. I'm an overthinker tbh, but it has served me well so far.
@@stillfangirlingtoday1468 Don't get it. Once you have a license you should know as much as you need to know about driving and you do not need to indicate anything else to anybody.
One of my siblings who is an EMT said that "Baby on Board" is so Fire and Rescue can know to check if there's a child first in case of an accident/emergency, especially if there's an actual baby in the car, they need to be rescued/saved first.
Me and my daughter where in line for a concert when she was around 15 I forgot something in the car approx 40 feet away while I was getting it I saw the guy behind her turn and walk away I went back and asked what happened she said he told her she looked cold he could warm her up she told him that's what pepper spray is for I was very proud of her. By the way she had on steel toe combat boots and spiked bracelets .
I grew up in Skidrow in Downtown Los Angeles CA. Richard Ramirez was killing people in my neighborhood before he became wanted. I saw people be murdered for drug territory. I knew the gangs that ran the streets. Did bad stuff too in order to stay alive and in good terms with the gang. Could not concentrate in school nor learn till 8th grade. I never did drugs and was able to move four hundred miles away. Look at me now, I'm still alive and still have a clean criminal record.
I could totally relate to the man taking care of his sibling at 11! I was babysitting at 8, took care of my brother and sister at 12. Had to take my baby brother to the hospital when he was 2 and I was 13 cause he wouldn't stop throwing up and had a fever. I grew up FAST! My late Mom loved to party and didn't like being a parent.
Story time: my sisters, mom and I went to Rome. When the taxi driver dropped us off, he dropped us off at the totally wrong place and so we were lost. We looked lost, with all our bags and everything. These three guys walked up to my sister and mom and asked if they could help. So we followed the guys to their apartment so my sister could look at their computer. This was 2000 or 2001 so smart phones were dumb. Anyway, my mother and sisters followed these three guys into their apartment. I felt totally creeped out and refused to go in. Mind you, I was the youngest of the group at 22. One of the guys kept trying over and over again to get me to go into the apartment too, I didn’t budge though. The guys kept muttering in Italian to each other, then would speak English trying to get me in or talking to my sisters and mom who were already in the apartment. After about 20 min my sister found where our hotel actually was, and we left. That whole thing still bothers me to this day.
Man your mom and sister really don't have any survival instinct I'm sorry to say. The fact that the 3 guys were pressing you to come in should have been a good enough indicator to them that something was off. I am astonished at such carelessness honestly.
Understand the comment but try to bear in mind that, firstly, things were different in the late 90s/very early 2000s with far less general knowledge about what's going on in the world, and secondly, those were the days before you could look up stuff on your phone - in fact, most people didn't even have home computers and it was more common to go to an internet store to get online (weird to think of that but, it's true!). No Facebook, no Twitter, no UA-cam, etc. Lastly, many first-time travelers to foreign countries tend to have a bit of a false sense of security. Things have changed a lot and we know way more with better access to information. 'Astonished at their carelessness' is easy to say in hindsight.
I take care of an elderly gentleman, he's a retired engineer. He lives with his daughter, a retired doctor. Their power went out. They didn't realize that they can have hot food/water by using a lighter to start the burner on their gas stove. I was both thrilled that I was the smartest in the room at the time and concerned about the level of education that they had.
Education and intelligence are NOT the same thing. Anyone can buy an education and the guy at the bottom of the class, about to flunk out that just squeaks by and hardly takes his education seriously still gets to call himself Dr.
@@thomasjoseph5876 as long as you ventilate the room well it's OK but it's still fairly dangerous to use gas stoves/heaters in a room unless there is a vent to allow exchange of air apparently. It can be very dangerous to infants and anyone with asthma especially.
This is why my mother preferred gas stoves, but she was very annoyed when she bought a new one in 1980 to find out they now had an electric gas cutoff safety switch so that doesn't work anymore.
I was seven years old and walking home from school when a man in his thirties came up to me and started talking to me. He told me i was really pretty and asked how old i was. When i told him he said i looked older than that. I remember being really scared and although it was only like a hundred metres to where i lived for some reason i walked into the local grocery store and waited there until he left. It wasn't street smarts at that age but some childish instinct i think. It could have been so much worse if i walked into the apartment building and he followed me to the stairwell. This still sends shivers down my spine after all these years.
I was in a store a while back, everything was fine when suddenly i got this feeling of danger. I have anxiety and im very intuitive, my mom was with me and asked me what was wrong i told her and we quickly got out of the store. The feeling of danger intensified greatly and didn’t stop until a few blocks away, always trust your gut.
My ex always tells me, "for being that smart, you're pretty dumb" 😅. Him and our daughter are very street smart, and I'm always blown away by how quick they are. Like the 'running in the opposite direction' would totally be something that they would think are obvious to do. I have my uni. degree but I don't get the simplest things. I think they are much more clever than I am, but we just have different qualities. They are free thinkers.
They sound a little abusive and how often in life are you being followed? If it's such a big problem, use your university degree and higher pay and get out of that neighborhood!..lol
‼️Yeah here's some more tips Don't have a personalized girly license plate or girly necklaces hanging on your rear-view mirror or girly seat covers anything like that for the same reason you shouldn't have the girly bumper sticker. It lets bad men know that this is a woman's car so she's most likely alone. So a lot of times men will wait under the car or near the car. It puts a target on your back Sliding glass doors are extremely easy to break into with basically no effort. It doesn't matter if they are locked you need to put a bar inside on the track that will keep anyone from being able to pop the lock and slide the door open. Several famous serial killers exclusively targeted houses with those doors because they were so easy and quiet to get open.
As a residentially challenged woman I found that having a big dog turns a lot of people around. If I sense that they wanna fuck around and find out, I pull out my 12” blade I keep on my hip, along with the pocket knife that’s tucked away on a different location of my body. Oh, and a couple of more “just in case” back up knives. I’ll just say this, 8 years on the streets and I’ve never had a problem
I’ll try to make this brief. I was in my home city visiting my parents and friends. I went to a party downtown by myself thrown by friends. Left about 2:00 am. Once in my general neighborhood there was no traffic but there was a car following me very closely. Every turn I made, they made. I could see that there were two men in this vehicle. Once I turned onto the street my parents lived in they turned too, and they killed their headlights!! I was scared to death! All I could think of was getting to my parent’s house. They lived on a corner with the driveway in the back. I don’t know what I was thinking, but after parking, I went around the side of the house to see if they were gone. Coming right towards me was the biggest man I’d ever seen! We both stopped dead in our tracks, and I just screamed at the top of my lungs “You get out of here right now!” Then I turned tail and ran towards my parent’s back door in my high heels! I got to the door and started pounding and screaming that there was a man after me, while I’m trying yo unlock the door with the other hand, looking over my shoulder coz I just knew he had to be right behind me! My parents came out just as I got in, with me screaming call 911 call 911! (Before cell phones) I also ran to the front door to see if they were out there. (they weren’t) when the cops came they told me that by confronting the guy like that I probably saved my life. However, I tell you that to tell you if that ever happens to you, if you are being followed, drive to the nearest police station! If you don’t know where one is, drive to a busy store, anywhere there are people. Flash your lights, lay on the horn, drive erratically. Be smart girls. Don’t do what I did.
Great tips! If someone somehow gets into your car with bad intent, don't be afraid to cause an accident in order to get attention. Hopefully it can be a minor one especially if you've already thought out the scenario. That's part of the safety factor -- thinking things through ahead of time so you aren't trying to think while under pressure. It's why professions like doctors/nurses, cops, firefighters, lifeguards, and soldiers/military etc train and run scenarios and train themselves not to panic.
I was an avid runner ran the same route at the same time every day, one morning a cop stopped me as I ran by him, he said I see you running this route every day if I see you so do other people, he advised me to change up my times and routes he also recommended not to run with a ponytail.
I use to do the same, one time my mom joined me and advised I go to a gym or workout at home instead because it was dark (5AM) and I was a 19 year old female.
4:19 This is so important. Please, listen to your gut. There have been many times where I "got a bad vibe" from someone and dismissed it trying to give them the benefit of the doubt. I was always wrong and regretted it later when I dismissed my intuition like that. On the other hand, it is worth mentioning that my gut has never been wrong. Not in 20 years. When you feel something, do not overthink it. Your gut knows something you consciously don't.
After being a first responder in a few different roles, my tip is always leave yourself an exit. Never let someone get between you and the exit. Hug the wall. Stay alert.
Crowd anxiety has led to multiple breakdowns, panic attacks, freezing, or shutting down. I can’t even comprehend going to a convention that is indoors! I have to have four escape routes at all times. I feel better if I can be outside. Gem and Mineral Show is indoors, but there’s plenty of escape room. And it doesn’t feel overly crowded. Pride is outside, but can get too crowded (Great Dane bulled his way over to me from the Dumb Friends booth because I was starting to hyperventilate). Ren Fest is fenced, but outdoors, and feels safe and carefree enough that I’m not panicking. Star Trek Convention? Inside, I panicked Comicon? Indoors, I shut down Japanese Summer Festival? Indoors, getting stressed, a very kind comic book artist helped me get outside and stayed with me until I had calmed down Large class lecture… I had to drop the class
Seeing all this I realize that I literally grew up in a bubble... My worst encounter was a probably 80 year old guy following my best friend and me while we were on a school trip. I always had a pretty good sense of orientation, so I guided us through on a more complicated route through the labyrinth of small streets back to our language school. We lost him easily, then waited at the school for a couple of minutes, to make sure all was clear. That was the only time I had made bad experiences with strangers though.
My mom left me with 3 kids ( my brothers) for 3 weeks when she went to Saskatchewan for my grandma's funeral. I was 14. No $. No food. Ended up begging the local store ( 4 km away) for credit to feed us. The boys were 3, 4, and 9.
That’s so sad 😢. I don’t know what’s going on these parents? They are supposed to be taking care of their kids, not the other way around. I’m sorry you and your siblings had to go through that.
thank you so much for putting this out, this topic is really important for so many reasons. I actually just had an issue with a stalker that lives near where I am and he follows me when I bring my dog out for a walk at night. I've had to change my walking habits, routes, and everything else just because this dude doesn't understand me saying 'no' to him asking for my number four times now. It came to a head last week when he followed me to my apartment's door and a neighbour had to tell him he was being a creep. I'm so fed up with these problems :c
Report him and keep a record of each time he does this. That way you have evidence if anything further were to happen. Record should include the day, time, street, area, etc. where it happened. Depending on your phone, get a privacy screen protector and the next time he follows you, pretend like you're doing something else, but you're recording him or at the very least taking a photo. Talk into the phone, say the day, time, your name, where it's happening and that this guy has been following and harassing your for a long period of time quietly. Also depending on your dogs size, if it's a large breed, teach it to bark on command and to not stop until you tell him to stop (a 'quiet' command). Look up online how to do it, but once done, when he comes up to you again, give your dog the command to 'speak' aka bark and call the police. Scream loudly at him, so others can hear, that you're calling the cops and your dog WILL bite if he gets any closer. It doesn't matter if your dog will bite or not, but if your dog barks, it can intimidate most people if it's a larger breed. Give the cops all info, first thing say where you are at - map out your routes beforehand, so you know street names, then your name. Then give information on the offender, especially how he looks. Say he has done this before and you're scared for your well-being. Also make sure you are picking routes with no forest or a lot of trees/bushes in one cluster, keep yourself safe and walk on well lit streets, preferrably with decent amount of commotion, too. Maybe where there are open shops, if you live in a country that has shops open late at night.
you want me to scare him for you? Bc deadass. I LOVE being the crazy friend. I WILL go after him with a knife and it WILL be fun for me. If you don't take no for an answer, be prepared to have someone crazier than you come give you yours.
Yep I remember when I first started working in a call center (this is back in the 90's). Some bright spark decided it would be a great idea for all of us to answer the phone with our full name (yep first and last name). My first question was: "So, will pay for me to have a silent number? What will you do to ensure that no upset customer can track me down and cause a threat?" Crickets. Never mentioned again.
That man who took care of himself and his brother you are amazing! I am sorry you had to go through this my son just turned 12 and I wouldn't dream of leaving him alone at night! Xx
My mom used to say that if someone is following you, or if someone is trying to attack you, you must yell: ''FIRE''. Because if you yell ''HELP'' there's a chance that nobody will come to help you, because they will be scared. But, everybody will look outside and/or go outside if they think there's fire near them.
Lol I have a Eclectus Parrot, Grover and he will squawk if he doesn't recognize someone walking up to the door... He is a good watch bird. Other than that, he's pretty quiet. Me and my boyfriend were play fighting like wrestling on the couch and I screamed because he started tickling me and when I screamed. Grover totally went off... 😂 We laughed and had to let Grover know we were just playing!!! But it's good to know if I get attacked I have a bird that u can hear screaming a block away. 😂 we like to go on walks together and I feel safe.
For the wedding ring tip, it's crazy that those "people" are less likely to attack us if they think that we are "other man's property". They don't want to offend a fellow man rather than having a common sense and be a decent human instead, which is really sad
I use to wear a fake wedding ring to the club, I was a Latin dancer and we would go as a group, and more than once a guy would ask me if I was married mid-dance (it’s normal in dance communities to dance with strangers even if you are attached as long as it’s done respectfully) and then would take my ring off and look at it, because it was cheap it was pretty noticeable but as a college student I couldn’t afford more than a KHOLS 20 dollar ring. I would then get profusely hit on. One of them even threw my ring across the dance floor and I didn’t get back until one of the singers found it on the stage after the club closed. 😢
What? The reason is, that they think you have someone waiting for you at home and waiting for you to come home. That is why they will leave you alone, they don't want someone to call the cops on them after a few hours.
@@darkwolf453 that could be the reason in some cases. however, a lot of the time, when women with a bf get hit on to the point of it being uncomfortable and having to call their bf over, the guy will usually say "hey man, sorry about that" instead of apologizing to the girl
It will most of the time work with basically anyone if you need help. Better to single out potential helpers in a busy place however, or people won't help because they think someone else will.
I tried that and the lady basically said "You're not my kid, fuck off" very loudly and cursed me out in Spanish. Southern California, older folk in my living area don't help at all 🤣😂
I dig the tip of paying attention to animals around you. I've been in my yard, facing away from the gate and noticed my cat suddenly stiffen and look towards the gate. I look, and there's usually a person or another animal. My cats also take cues from me. If I chase an animal away, they will take chase with that specific animal if they see it in the future. If a person shows up that causes me stress, they will attack or run, depending on the situation (I don't live in the greatest of neighborhoods).
I live off-grid, nearest neighbor is more than a mile away. We have large predators, and occasionally some scummy people who drive out here looking for stuff to steal. I have a herd of goats, and if I hear them making their "spitting" noise, it always means that they feel threatened so I grab my rifle and megaphone and run outside to see what's going on. I scared the crap out of an OnTrac driver once who pulled into my driveway because they were lost and Google maps was wrong! Usually when they make that noise, it's coyotes, feral dogs, or mountain lion. The last time a mountain lion showed up @ 3:00 AM, my son's cat started howling and hissing even though she couldn't see the thing (cats are always indoors, dog stays inside after sundown). They can sense danger even when it's not very close.
I'm not in a great neighborhood either, and I've got 2 Pitties. They're big goofy babies and family, and I trust their instincts. My 2 kitties are young but, observant.I think they'll grow up fine between their instincts and their siblings the Pitties. 😉👍🐾🐾
My friend was walking alone at night some years back and she said she noticed a man was following her so she started walking faster and slipped around a corner, picked up a rock, put it in her bag and beat the shit out of him lol
The one with the mom gone for months gave me a flash back, I too was taking care of my sister when i was 11 years old too for days and days getting her to school helping with homework, giving baths and keeping the place clean and making breakfast lunch and dinner. My mom loved to go out and partying and drink crashing at someone else's place while I stay at home alone with my little sister doing what she was suppose to do, be a mom. As soon I turned 11 she was thrilled she can go out without finding a babysitter or paying anyone with watch over us for days while she's out partying. I too kept my mouth shut about what's going on at home nobody knew.
@@josephine4611 Im from Canada and yes we were home by ourselves and also for days, back then I didn't know what she was doing was illegal. I was naive child thinking I was being taught about responsibility.
Child services actually usually tries to keep siblings together especially when there's only 2 of them as opposed to 7. He's a good big brother but I'm especially sad that he was so scared to get help
I have a really bad sense of direction and zero ability to recognize vehicles, so learning how to act confident when lost was something I needed. I learned maps and locations and how to get where I needed. Luckily nothing bad ever happened to be when I was lost or got into the wrong vehicle (not my mum's car). People are usually more scared of you when you enter the wrong car than thinking of doing you harm because you've got you head in the clouds.
Just gotta throw this out there - the wedding ring thing 100,00% does NOT work! I NEVER - literally never - got more attention from guys in my entire life until *after* I got engaged...and I wasn't sexually assaulted or raped before then either... Idk if some men see it as a challenge or a sign that "hey, another guy thinks this is good enough to lock-down, lemme see what this chick is about", but it definitely did nothing to deter any men I met or hung out with during that time...quite the opposite. Like even friends who'd known me since HS would suddenly try to make-out with me (and I certainly never had anyone interested in me in HS, didn't get asked out until I was 19, so it was very out of the blue kinda thing for them to do). For the record - not that I should have to say this, but just to be clear - I did not do anything to invite or encourage any of the unsolicited behavior I was subjected to. The only thing I could suggest to *maybe* rationalize this shift in my interactions, is that maybe I was behaving more confidently or expressing myself more freely *because* I felt protected + reassured by my ring...but ladies please know that you still have to have your guard up and cannot take for granted that others will respect a ring being there....the kind of people who will take advantage of you already don't respect your person or your agency...a ring isn't going to do a damn thing to dissuade someone like that...
It’s never worked for me. I used to always wear a fake one & these dudes don’t give a fuck. They’d be like “well is he here?” & then I have to figure out how to get out of that place without the dude following me & figuring out I’m not with a man.
@@CreatureCargaux Yeesh. I'm sorry you've gone through that. But that's why I wanted to comment about my experience...it's dangerous for women to think they're safe because they have a ring.
A few of my girls and I will call/FaceTime each other when guys approach or unwanted attention is being thrown our way or we feel in an unsafe area. We’re in our mid 30’s- early 40’s with teen girls of our own and we still to this day do it and we just know whenever wherever if they call pick up.
One of the scariest experiences for me was on my third day at my first ever job. I work as a housekeeper at a hotel (so I do room services where I take out the rubbish, make beds, yk, things like that). This might not seem like a lot but as a 17 year old girl at her first job it freaked me out a lot. Basically I was doing this guys room service, and hes like this 30 year old man, his room is DISGUSTING, like food everywhere, rubbish everywhere, and he was sitting eating this meal with food on his face while watching tv as me and my coworker do the room service. and then as we leave (i left last) he came up behind me (and i look young btw, like i do NOT look above 18) put his hand on my waist and asked for my number. At this point my coworker was outta the door of the room so she didn't hear and i was freaking out. so i acted like i didnt hear him and speed walked outta there. its nothing like what other people deal with but it was my third day and i was just really freaked out and uncomfortable and I didn't feel comfortable doing room services on my own for the next 3 months after that. its just really got to me
Not exactly street smarts but following your intuition. For a long time my mom had recurring nightmares about walking into my school and finding out that I was dead. Right before we moved she came to pick me up early (I usually walked home) and she walked through part of the school that she'd never been in before. She told about her dreams when I was older and told me that section of the school looked exactly like in her dreams. A few years after we moved it came out that there was a serial killer in that area who was targeting girls the same age as I was and who looked very similar to me. We'll never know if she was right and anything would have happened to me if we stayed there, but it never hurts to follow your gut and leave a place you think is dangerous.
It's funny how back in '09 I had this intuition feeling about this guy that was fixing something in my mom's house. And I told her when we were in the hallway I had a bad feeling about him. She brushed it off like it was nothing. A week later we came back to police and the news crew all around the area and they were at his house. Turned out he k*ll*d someone... my mom said she'd never doubt me again. Always listen to your gut people!! Your gut feeling is always right!!
I remember as a young woman being taught not to just holler HELP! Its statically been proven most people wont help a woman fighting with a man if shes just yelling help 😢 sadly i learned this first hand that most wont even make eye contact while your actively being assaulted crying for help. DV Survivor here 💜 Truth is you have you scream FIIRE or SAVE MY BABY! It's a sad world, but knowledge is power, ladies. Keep your head on a swivel.
The 1st car I owned, didn’t have a car alarm like nowadays, so my deterrent was a life-like snake 🐍that I placed under my emergency brake when parked & on the front seat or dashboard when driving. It freaked out a lot people when they got in my car, including baby sis when she tried to help back out of the carport in order to ship my car from VA to CA. 😂
I was a child, maybe around 7 or 8, walking home in the snow with a friend. Within a block of the school a man (to us he was old) stood in front of us and opened his coat. My friend and I burst out laughing! This man actually looked stunned we would laugh. At that age we weren't thinking about naked bodies...we don't care. He slowly closed his coat and turned and went back to his car. We giggled all the way home. I don't remember telling an adult about it because, to us, it wasn't a big deal. Our conversation was about him being cold. As an adult I do know how dangerous that was but at 8, who cared. Moral of the story ... point and laugh, worked for me. (BTW, that was in the 60's)
I was in college and I was waking to the student center by myself from (note: it was literally a five minute walk and very well lit) and there was group of guys who started to catcall me. Now normally I am very shy when it comes to new people so I just started to walk really fast. One of the guys must have seen my behavior and told them to stop as I must be meeting my boyfriend at the student center and wished me a good night. I went along with it and nodded in thanks, as I was single. After that I never walked alone to my dorm and made sure that I had one ear bud out when it came to listening to music.
The information about the bumper sticker is actually really interesting. I can figure out a lot about a driver based on how they decorate their car. My grandpa had a sticker that he got from my middle school. It's scary to think that someone could have used that information and find my school when I was a kid. Alternatively, no one messes with my mom's car. Every time someone graduates from boot camp, she slaps a window sticker saying she's a proud aunt/mom of that particular branch. Lots of Marine stickers on that window. So, it tells criminals that a woman may approach that car, but there's an even higher risk of a Marine walking with that woman.
@@Are_We_Having_Tea Very true! She once told me she could have joined the Air Force had she not had my sister. This was during a time when women weren't typically being accepted into that branch at the same ranking as men. She would have made one scary Marine officer.
Especially don't put political or "opinionated" stickers on your car, because someone WILL take offense! There's a social worker at our local county welfare office who had a "Bernie" sticker on her car in 2015. Someone busted out a window, poured gasoline in the front seat and set it on fire, destroying her car. When I bought my car it had a licence frame with the San Francisco 49er's sports team logo. I covered it immediately because even that could invite trouble!
Lol my car stickers would probably just make them avoid me, they wouldn't be able to tell my gender or even anything about me, I have a hail Satan sticker and I'm not even religious 😂
Great tips! Thought I would add a couple. If you are a girl or woman and you feel like you are being followed, watched, etc., don't hesitate to go up to other girls or women and strike up a conversation. You can pretend that you know them, compliment something about them, or ask for directions, and if the person following is out of earshot, you can verbally ask for help, or if you can't do that, try to whisper or mouth it, or use hand gestures, convey with your eyes, etc. I have yet to meet a woman who wouldn't help another in that situation, and I swear that we women have our own spidey sense when it comes to reading each other and sensing if something is wrong. My other tip is to carry self defense items, and casually show them if you sense someone dangerous. I keep spiked brass knuckles in a top pocket of my purse, and a knife in my boot in the winter, and on my hip in the summer. Anytime someone is making me uncomfortable in a potential danger way, I act like I am adjusting my clothing or stretching, and make sure my weapon is visible to them. Most predators want an easy target, not someone who will give them the fight of their life. Stay safe! 💛
@@magnarcreed3801 Glad you are getting that! It isn't required in the state I live in, but I would get it too if required. I finally got a little Derringer and a little Barretta last year; just need to get thigh holsters for each. 😉
I once saw a young lady looking very panicked with a guy following her around. I grabbed my husband's hand and dragged him over saying "Where the heck have you been? Dad and I have been looking for you for 20 minutes!" We took her to her car and followed her home. We are still friends to this day.
This❤
Thank you beautiful humans!
You most likely saved her LIFE
& she'll probably remember this & pay it forward. 💙🌏
Incredible!
That's very smart and brave. There's strength in numbers people. If you see someone in trouble, don't look away like it's not my problem. I don't know you so i don't care. If others did that when you need help, how would you feel. Strength in numbers and this is a good example.
“We took her to the car, once she trusted us, and then we took her to the gang’s kindapping basememt
That guy who took care of himself and his little brother at eleven is amazing and deserves so much credit.
For sure. ❤
I know that's so heartbreaking tho 😢
@@WhitneyDahlin that's why he needs that recognition ❤ his hardwork and sacrifice is well-deserved to be seen and they were both able to survive because of him ❤
First off, YES!! That guy did so much for his brother and his mom. That being said mom needed to be punished, not rewarded for that neglectful behavior. That messes kids up. I can tell he is doing the right thing now. He is getting his story out. Sharing stuff like that can help greatly in the healing process.
Is CPS right in every case? No, an underfunded, understaffed, and service that only is shared about when things go wrong can’t be at all equipped to fill the unfortunate need that exists. I don’t say these things flippantly; I say them as someone who has been in his shoes. I had two younger siblings and one older. We were abandoned in similar ways and my older brother and I got our younger siblings up and took care of them. My story ended differently. We went into the foster system and though my younger siblings were placed, and adopted into a different family we have kept in touch. My heart aches for any kid who has or is living in situations like this. It’s hard, but things do get better.
Absolutely! It's not easy raising a sibling and still keeping your life on track. This kid did what I did for my siblings at a time when I never knew when mom was coming back. It hit close to home hearing his stories, not everyone is blessed with parents who have it all together. I give him a lot of credit and I hope that he and his brother are still close, like me and mine are. I became mom to them, like he said he was mama now, and they never forgot all the things I did for them. Thank goodness there are good big brothers and sisters out there who want to keep everyone safe and together.💗
That cat tip is facts! In college my roommate and I had some eerie feelings we were being stalked. My cat would act crazy at night running from window to window. One night when we had several friends over she started alerting again at the windows. Several of our guy friends ran outside to find a creep in the alley trying to peep in our windows. They chased him out and we called the police. PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR ANIMALS!!!!!!!
Awesome Kitty! Awesome guy friends!
Very true. I have two cats, and they'll alert if a car door slams in my driveway or they hear footsteps. Anything they don't hear very often, or that they know means another human will show up, they have a sharp reaction. So if I hear a noise, my cats will let me know if I need to worry about it.
I have dogs and cats and that is so true. Also, if your animals don’t like someone, maybe you should listen.
My friend back in high school taught me this. If anyone is giving you unwanted attention make eye contact and pick your nose. It's never failed me in 30 years lol.
Then you point that finger at them and ask dead serious do you want some?😂😂😂😂
@@carolfield2760 🤣🤣🤣🤣
If the nose doesn’t work, try the butt crack. 😂
😂😂😂
So gross... I like it 😂😂👍🏾
Those tips from that one woman reminded me about a time I took my dog on a walk in my neighborhood and he started acting really weird just constantly turning around. He’s usually very good and controlled in the leash so I corrected him originally and he kept doing it. I turned around to look saw nothing. He did it again, I turned around, saw nothing. He turned around again and started growling this eerie low tone I’ve never heard him make before and I turned and saw a guy I love never seen in our neighborhood before about 3-4 houses away. He gave me the weirdest shiver up my spine and I knew something was off. My dog went ballistic, hair raised on his back and did a super intimidating bark. And I just stood and stared at him and luckily I think my dog scared him and he turned around!
Always trust a hound’s nose! Thanks for having my back Atticus ❤
Good pupper!
I hope you spoiled the shit out of your doggo when you got out of there. Best good puppers!
I've had the same experience before while still living in a dodgy af neighborhood and honestly, to this day, what I'd like to know is how that guy ever thought that was worth a shot in the first place. You didn't state, but I for one am not walking a Chihuahua, I'm walking a whole-ass Belgian Shepherd. I mean- really?! And don't get me wrong, it was still scary and I'm super glad we both had our doggies with us, but... yeah... really dudes?!
I took my little dog out about 2 wks ago. She kept barking. But a different bark. I didn't know I got followed home until I saw I had been. I tried to go in my door. He pushed. He managed to squeeze an arm and leg in my door. He was so much stronger. He was going to get in. So... I let the door pull back towards me, and while he was sliding limbs in... I slammed it on his limbs with the fury of a thousand guardian Angels. Police only gave him a no trespassing... Because technically he was the one who got injured. Wtf??? Can't sleep since then :(
Your typo made me happy cause your phone thinks you’re in love, so cute. I’m glad you’re safe! Atticus is a great name btw ❤
The one about the cats gave me goosebumps and almost made me cry. Because it's true. I was walking home from a friend's house. I had my headphones in and had my music VERY loud. This guy walks by with his dog and I take my headphone out to tell him that I thought his dog was cute. he said thanks and we both went on our ways.... or so I had thought. Not even two minutes later I come across this cat. I approached it to try and pet him. He started to skitter across the road, and it was looking at something behind me. Which suddenly hit me as weird. So, I look behind me and that guy with the dog was like 30ft behind me. Without the dog, walking pretty fast. I had a sinking feeling in my stomach that something wasn't right. So, I turned down the music and only had one earbud in. I continued to walk but just with a little pep in my step. After about a minute after that, I turned around to look at the cat again and that guy was about 10ft behind me walking super friggin fast. UNTIL he saw me turn around and suddenly, he slowed down. And it didn't help that where he slowed down was in some shadows of some trees where there isn't a streetlight. The sun was setting, and it was that time where it's getting dark out, but you can still see someone sitting out on their porch 3 or 4 houses up the street. But it was going to be dark verrrry soon. The alarms officially started going off. I took the other headphone out and decided to take a left. Just to see what he would do Sure enough he takes a left too. I tell myself that's a coincidence. So, I walked 3 more blocks decided to take another left. AGAIN, he took a left. I told myself nah, this isn't a coincidence. But I decided to cross the street to go to the sidewalk on the other side JUST to make sure. Ya'lll when I tell you that the fear that filled me that night was a fear I had NEVER felt in my life before when he too crossed that street. my heart feels like it's going to jump out of my chest typing this out. I immediately decided to call my momma "HEY MOMMMAA WHATS UP?" As loud as I could. then I quietly told her please please stay on the phone. Don't hang up. Then loudly I say "YEAH YEAH IM ON MY WAY HOME. JUST AROUND THE CORNER" "AWH DANG SORRY MOMMA I ALREADY PASSED THE STORE; ILL GET IT TOMORROW." Meanwhile she's just asking me what's wrong over and over again. I lowly say, "hold on I'm being followed by a man". I'm 9 blocks away from a road that is a main road with a lot of cars on it. Within this 15 second interaction with my mother on the phone, this man who was then well within range of grabbing me up, was no longer in sight. Just GONE. The only place he could have gone, was back down the hill that he had just been following me up on. My momma stayed on the phone with until I got onto our street. Honestly one of the most terrifying experiences of my life. And I accredit that kitty for me still being here today. because if it weren't for that cat not looking at me while it was skittering away from me (the human walking towards him), I would've never known about the guy suddenly without his dog behind me.
Holy shit. Cats are guardian demons. I would say guardian angels, but I have a cat. They are not angels.
Sometimes they are both. I have a cat who wakes me if my sugars get too low when I am sleeping. She goes nuts on me. Hitting me in the face, meowing, actually nipping my nose. Then other days, she don't want anything to do with me. Love all animals.
@@MayDa-ll7oeyour cat is such a good baby🥹❤️
My biggest question is thus: Where's the dog?
I have three cats...you are correct! Our cats guard us against all kinds of things, including dangerous blood sugar things (type 1 in the family) and if someone was bothering around the windows I suspect they'd make a fuss. @@Chuuyas_FancyHat
My husband was living on his own in a tent at the lake bottom at 11yrs old. He got himself to school every day, managed to feed himself etc... By 16 he had his own home (trailer but it was a home and paid for), graduated HS a year early... He's incredible
Amazing person!
Good for him, he’s going to have a great future. Some lady will be lucky
@@lwhitt9655 lol I am very lucky
@@lwhitt9655 "My husband" "some lady" reading comprehension: 0
I'm happy your husband was able to accomplish everything he did, including finding you who celebrates him and all of his successes 🥰
I remember being in a “street smart” sort of class for women led by a female police officer. She talked about how oftentimes when someone is giving off sketchy vibes in public and we think they might be creeping on us, it can be our first instinct to do nothing, because we don’t want to “make a scene” or “seem mean.” Not doing anything, though, can make someone with bad intentions feel more confident that they can do something much worse to you once you’re alone. She advised us to look them dead in the eyes and yell something akin to “Do we have a PROBLEM?” or anything angry that would draw other people’s attention. Not only have a bunch of people just seen them bothering you, but if you stare really hard they’ll realize you could give a good description of them to police. It doesn’t guarantee that they’ll leave you alone but it does significantly decrease the chance that they’ll do anything now that there’s so much risk involved. Even if you’re not 100% sure that they’re being creepy, it’s much better to accidentally be mean to someone than not do anything and potentially get attacked later.
Edit: Some ppl are misinterpreting this as “lol yelling at random men for no reason is totally ok, slay besties girlboss (etc etc).” Y’all are missing the point. The point is that I don’t want to be mean. Nobody wants to be mean (with a few exceptions). And nobody wants to yell at someone who was literally just minding their own business, especially if a million people see you do it. But there are people who are very subtle in public, testing the waters to see if you’ll say anything. If you feel unsafe, IT IS OK to risk being an a-hole. Sure, the person could be totally fine, but what if they’re not? Do you really want to take that risk? I don’t. It’s not that I don’t mind yelling at people (I’m a very mild-mannered person who tries to avoid conflict at all costs, actually), it’s that you need to be willing to put that aside bc your safety is more important. So yeah.
I had a lot of men be offended because they were randomly accused of following a woman. Had to make them see the other perspective : annoy them by risking being wrong / being alive or not raped. Sorry guys, but mistakes can happen, and women have to prioritize their well being over your ego on this. (I'm not talking about calling the cops situations, but confronting the creep in public).
My friends think I'm too aggressive sometimes, but I know I looked a pursesnatcher dead in the eyes after a long day of class and made sure my vibe was "if you approach me, I'm going to make you taste your ballsack."
@@lisamartin9831 not offended, by am amused at how screaming at a man just walking passed you while shopping is now not only acceptable but ‘recommended😂
I saw a vid the other day where a women was congratulating herself for screaming at a man trying to get in his own car, three cars away from hers!!
This.
In my women's self defence class they taught us the same thing - speak up! Make a scene!
Guys who are genuinely decent humans but who were accidentally frightening us will understand. The others are creeps and deserve a scene to be made about them.
It might be a bit embarrassing to cause a scene, especially if it turns out we were mistaken about the man's intentions, but as my teacher would point out 'no one has ever died of embarrassment...'
(yes, she would somehow also 'say' the pause to give us all the chance to fill it in - people have died - been killed - from not wanting to cause a scene).
Edited: 'the pause' somehow didn't get in the original and should have been.
i hate this. I would rather, no matter your gender, you yell and be a *KAREN* if need be, if you feel even 2% in danger. I need to know. WE need to know. you need help, we got'chu fam; make a damn scene >_> sheesh
I learned (from my sociolinguistics course out of all places) that your walk posture can do a lot to protect you, especially women. Women tend to take smaller shorter steps as it's "dainty" and ladylike to take up less space, whereas men take big steps to assert dominance and take up space. So keep your head up and take big strong steps, walk like you're on a mission. It's helped me out of uncomfortable situations before as confidence can subconsciously be intimidating.
Naturally do this and most don’t fuck with me.
Yep, sometimes when I’m walking in public and I don’t want anyone to mess with me, I act like I’m in a bad mood with a sort of angry face and walk like I’m on a mission- which I am, the mission is to make sure no one messes with me. I have an attitude like I just want beat somebody up 😂
@heatherkeeton4769 haha I was just about to say the same! It works.
So that’s why I scare people?! Haha as a small woman I’ve always been told that I’m scary. Maybe my posture is why 😂😂😂😂
I’ve actually done this while walking through a rough neighborhood. No one even considered talking to me 😊
100% props to the guy taking care of his little brother. he did a great job, especially for someone so small.
And his mom wanted them gone. How sad. To leave them for so long, and then be like you ain’t nothing, you think you’re grown… more grown than her!!!
That's just plain child neglect. I'm glad he handled it well but I'm pretty sure it's unprocessed trauma.
I wrote a longer comment, i think they shouldn't have featured that clip.
He's a real hero!! And he reminds me a lot of my childhood, but I was on my own sadly...we're survivor's!!
@@crazymetalgranny5236 i hope you're doing well ✨️
If you're being followed, DO NOT go home! One night I was on the bus (normally didn't ride the bus this late, but my job was hosting a charity event and I stayed late for extra hours). I saw this guy outside look at me, get on the bus, and got off at the same stop as me (2 or 3 stops from where he got on). I immediately clock him as that behavior is suspicious and not many people took the bus in this neighborhood. I noticed that he was following me, so I crossed the street. So did he. I crossed again. So did he. Now I'm in a neighborhood with more houses than businesses, but I know that if I can get there in one piece there's a Walgreens. I pretended to go in, but I actually snuck around to the side. He saw me "go in" and he started looking for me! I made sure to stay in the shadows and ran home (a block from Walgreens). Never saw Creepy Loser again.
Reporting such losers is also needed.
YES, it's natural to want to go home, where you feel safe but those guys should not know where y'all live !
i was sweating while reading this. so glad you're safe. ❤
Definitely let the bus driver or Lyft, subway or whatever public transport you're using
KNOW you're being followed
& DON'T FEEL SAFE. Most of
them will go into PROTECTIVE MODE & STEP UP. This has worked for me more than once
but you have to COMMUNICATE to as MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE about it. DON'T let the stalker or creep scare you into SILENCE.
❤🙏🌏
@@amichaels1871 she didn’t know he was stalking her until he got off the bus after her. What is she supposed to turn around right to him as the bus most likely will be driving away? She was smart to do what she did. Maybe call someone too and stay on the line to have a record.
I disagree with the wedding ring hack. I was a bartender for a while, and I saw a lot of people hit on those with wedding rings. Unfortunately, they see the ring 💍 and think it means they can hook up with you with no strings attached. They assume you will sleep with them but you won’t want to do anything that will ruin your marriage so you’ll keep this a secret.
It doesnt work from afar in some cases , it works when they come over talking to you ,you can shout them off "See the ring I am married f** off"
I agree with the bartender. When I first got engaged I would get comments like it's not a wedding ring yet, I could change your mind 😂 I told my fiance that it felt almost like a sword challenge to men
Agree! I experienced it myself for years
Former bartender here. I can confirm it is a magnet for some who see it as a challenge as well. SMH.
A few months ago, Charlotte replied to my comment about losing my job. Happy to say I am finally in a great new job, making more, and most importantly, being treated better! ❤️😀 Thanks Charlotte!
Congratulations 🎉
Congratulations!!🎉
I remember that!!!! I’m so happy to know you’re much better off. I commented as well if remember correctly.
Congrats fellow potato!!! 🎉🎉🎉
Congrats fellow Potato
Andrew deserves the world. It’s really sad that he & his brother went through all that.
He is the the kid actually needed child protective services. The fact that he is afraid of them is the problem with the system being so underfunded.
Actually the truly sad part is that they are probably just one of countless others that had to do something like that because of hopeless parents.
The safe word idea is a good one. My mom kinda used this for us when we were kids. She was a single mom, and had worries that people from my dad's side of the family would come an try to kidnap us. So she had this rule with us that if she ever sent someone to pick us up after school, she would tell them a code word. Then if we ever had someone that said they were sent by her to pick us up, we were to ask for this code word. And to never get in the car if they didn't answer or gave the wrong word. Then if the word was used once, she planned to change it. We never had to use it luckily, but I think this is a good system to keep kids safe if you are worried about something like this.
well thats pretty much policy in the uk for any schools, not sure where you are from but you cant pick up someones child unless they know the password that the parent has told the school
yeah, having codes and safe words with your children isnt common in america?
I had the same system with my daughter when she was in primary (junior) school. We had to use it twice due to unforeseen circumstances, but she was safe at least.
And don't put your kid's name on anything they wear outdoors, including their school bag.
@@bm-ww8kb It is in practice much more than it used to be in America. Most schools have security, and you have to show identification and sign in at the front office too
I basically use my cat as a personal alarm. The moment it sounds like someone's at the door, she perks up and fluffs up because she's the textbook definition of a one-person cat. I wear headphones a lot to avoid noise complaints with my apartment neighbors so if I'm listening to music and I see her suddenly fluff up and focused, I take the headphones out and do a sweep of what's going on. Paid off when someone tried to quietly pick my lock one night. I might not hear you but the fluffy baby will. Called the cops and scared the crap out of them when I slammed myself against the front door.
My oldest cat is like that as well, once she hears something going on, she investigates at a distance. Our youngest on the other hand runs away until at a safe distance then watches.
I will never forget the line from a short story I read in college about a twelve year old girl holding a shotgun up to the glass of her front window when a stranger approached the house at night, so it "kissed" the glass and made the guy on the other side realize he was a pane of glass away from being killed. Carry that energy.
When I was reading this I was thinking I would go up to the door and start banging on it to scare them and you ended up saying you’d slam yourself against the door😂
I had an alarm cat too! Made the things that go bump in the night less scary when I was little.
My cat does that too! I kinda use her to know when people knock on the door. If she perks up, I perk up too.
In my wifes family they have always told the kids and teens (went into adulthood with them) to use "can you call in a take out from the Greek place up there street" as a not safe code. The only reason they chose this for them is because the Greek place they went to all the time did not allow call in orders (at the time this started). So they always ask if the person on the phone is hungry (even if they were at home because you never know) as a way to open up the chance to ask for help. They still ask if each other is hungry on the phone. I've noticed that now most of their family ask this question and they are all listening for the same code. It spread through the whole family and she has a huge family, but I think this is genius.
It IS genius! Wow! The fact they always ask for help before as well.
@@Stephanie-cl4fu to clarify, the call in order from the Greek place is the code, asking if you're hungry is just a way to work it into the conversation.
I asked her why do they still ask each other this even as adults (to me the fact that not one of them has had to use the code makes it odd that they still do it).
But she clarified that if someone was hurting one of them when they weren't safe and the person was familiar with the family, then they wouldn't think it was weird that the other is asking if they're hungry or if they want food. Which is true because our first few dates I didn't even have a second thought when her mother or brother would ask her afterwards if she was still hungry or wanted anything.
For me and my sister is a simple as "dad called, he wants you to call him back" coz we don't have a dad. Sad, but it works
@@bottomofastairwell whatever works. Safety is the bottom line.
It's sad that women need all these tricks and codes.
that's sweet and really smart ❤
Even though us men are less likely to become a victim in a lot of bad situations, I still think it pays off for men to also develop situational awareness. Even though we're 3 times less likely to become a victim, a chance of it happening is still there. And also, we might be able to step in and potentially save someone else if we're aware of something happening to them.
I agree. Men can get attacked too. I've read a few posts about men stepping in when he sees something suspicious. They saw someone needed help or not aware of a threat and stepped in to help without being creepy themselves.
Men, the best thing you can do is call out other men who are threatening people. Hold your friends accountable and help women feel safer.
It's disgusting that women need to be so aware and careful because there are so many men who are predictors.
well that's not true at all lol, its actually the case that young men are statistically more likely to be victims of most crimes.
@@charg1nmalaz0r51 for fights, murders, and gang shootings, and even then, ratio wise it's still less than crimes which typically happen with women as victims, mainly sex crimes.
@@techguydilan i'm talking about crime in general. I did a crimonal psychology course and unless things have changed drasticall in 10 years or if our locations are different it was always the case that men ages 18-25 were the main victims of crime.
@@charg1nmalaz0r51 for all crime, according to FBI's 2021 statistics, victims' sex is about half and half, 417k males, 405k females. However for isolating it down to rape, the victim ratio is 9k male, for 83k female. For human trafficking, involuntary servitude, it's 159 male to 255 female. For kidnapping/abduction, it's 8k male to 28k female. For sexual assault with an object, it's 840 males, for 6,030 females.
Those are the crimes women are mainly worried about, because of the heinous nature of them (most would probably prefer to be mugged or carjacked instead of being raped) and the fact that the suspects specifically choose women due to sexual preferences and lesser physical prowess to defend themselves with.
The problem with looking at total crime, is it also includes carjackings and home invasions, where the victim isn't selected due to sex specifically. In those crimes, they may just look at the car or house and say to themselves, "that looks like a nice car/house, let's steal it or break in and steal its contents." Then the victim just happens to be a man, therefore reported as a male victim. And they might have not been in their home or car when the theft happened, therefore less traumatizing.
Even in murders, especially male to male, are more likely to be due to an altercation of some sort, like revenge because of an outcome. Or murdering a man who had an affair with their SO too. (self-admittedly, me saying that comes from hearing about a few of these cases, the only few murders I hear of in my rural area). I've probably only heard of one case where a man was kidnapped and then murdered. Whereas I've heard about at least three or four cases involving female victims. So even though murder happens more to men, female victims still account for a quarter of homicides, and those cases, in my experience, they're more likely to be selected due to no fault of their own, kidnapped, then murdered. Shit, 4 out of 5 well known serial killers targeted women.
As a man, I can significantly reduce my chances of being murdered by staying out of gang life and drama. Women don't have such luxury most of the time.
Coming from a military household, we were taught to always be paying attention to the little details. This has saved me and my family so many times. My Papa showed us how to keep an eye out and always look for exits in busy places, always check for people acting strange and steer clear or even leave if it looks sus. I had eventually been followed one day after school as a teen, and I went a few blocks with them following in a window tinted jeep, but I knew my home was still 5 blocks away so I remembered I saw another girl walking behind that I passed at the last corner, so I turned back and walked up to her and told her what was going on. She let me stand on her porch which was close by until the car eventually left, this was before cellphones were common so I had no way to call anyone. She was a complete stranger but she helped me to get away from someone who was following me. I'll never forget that. I've also seen people out in public having crisis situations and stepped in pretending to know them and got them away from creepy people who wouldn't leave them alone. Sometimes people can't get away or are too scared to draw attention when they need help, so I have made it a mission to always watch out for anyone in crisis so that I can assist just in case of emergency. It helps to know there's people out there who care, even if they don't know you personally. Always be checking your surroundings and never have music so loud in your ears that you can't see. I lost a friend to a car accident as a teen also, bc he was listening to music in his ears and didn't hear while he was biking down a busy street. We were only 16 and that whole situation hit me hard, so even at 40, I never go out with my music so loud that I can't hear what is going on around me. Stay safe out there people! Don't be afraid to ask for help when you are scared!
this and to always sit facing the exit of whatever store/ restaurant you're in so you can see who enters and if someone bad enters
Thank you for helping! We all need to get involved & help WATCH OUT & PROTECT EACH OTHER. You probably SAVED a LIFE or two..💙🌏
I'm always on my guard doesn't matter who I'm with
I travel alone a lot. The “walk with a purpose” is great advice! I always walk like I know where I’m going through uncomfortable paths. Just head in to a store and look at your phone if you have to. If not, walk until there are people around, restaurants etc.
I also carry my keys so that single keys are sticking out between my fingers so that if I need to punch a mofo it will really hurt, maybe gouge an eye. Keep your phone handy, but not looking at. Keep your head up, and on a swivel!
@@LazyIRanch yes, be aware of your surroundings, always. I have judged situations as possible danger that turn into just someone being dropped off often. In a different country you have less knowledge of what is “normal”. But always look like you are comfortable!
I actually feel more comfortable now that I gained a lot of weight, sadly. It is less interest of being “sexy” and it’s harder to carry me 😅
3:35 is a self protection tool I've used since I was very young. I don't personally use random single words as it's suspicious and out of place. It can potentially trigger the perp to attack too. I use commonly said stuff. Different phrases mean different levels of danger and situations. I call using facetime so everything is visible, adding a layer of protection. If they don't answer facetime I'll just call normally.
Something like "OMG I just saw Uncle Pasquale!!" I don't have an uncle with that name. Which means I'm uncomfortable or being followed. Please stay on the phone with me and be vigilant.
If i need to be picked up from a bad situation I'll say " how close are you now, cuz I'm already at (my location). Then they know to get to me ASAP, but it's not a 911 situation.
If at any time I say something like "don't forget the baby shower(birthday party, meet up, etc) tomorrow at noon" that means send the police to my location NOW! EMERGENCY!!
If I ask "was the baby shower(or birthday party, meet up,etc) rescheduled?" that means be prepared to call at any second.
If i give the be prepared to call message and decide I REALLY DO NEED POLICE NOW!! I'll randomly say "I'll meet you there tomorrow at noon, okay?"
With ”noon" ALWAYS meaning call police. The non-existent celebration is the alert phrase meaning I'm in real danger.
It's something I've used with close family for so so long it's been passed down to my younger sister. Now my daughter's even use it when they're in uncomfortable situations with friends.
It's something that won't alert a stalker or dangerous person, but we all know exactly what it means. The non-existent party is the signifier that something's really wrong, so pay attention. Noon is the clear signal to call 911. Even my closest friends know the deal. It's been a lifesaver a few times.
Love these tips!!!! Thank you for sharing
I remember a story that Carol Burnett told about dealing with a potential mugger. True story: she was younger (don't remember how old), in NYC, and was so scared when the guy grabbed her but she had the presence of mind to do her Tarzan yell. 😮 The guy freaked out and ran away! I love her! 😂
Yes. Do not be afraid to use your pipes. Do not say help, but fire or something odd that catches attention. Or just freaks them out.
I, myself, am rather proud of how high, strong and long I can sustain an ear shattering sound. One time, after talking about scamcallers, I'd mentioned how they stopped calling after me banshie shrieking into the phone, some co-workers talked me into making it... well, they could barely hear anything for minutes after.
Would be fun to measure the decibels on that one.
I have not heard Carols Tarzan yell, but omg! I have heard her lung capacity!!
That's awesome!!!!
@@monicaenns9967 Google it. It’s remarkable.
Storytime: when I was living in my college dorm someone got the bright idea of putting pictures on the door of who lived in each room. When they came by to take my picture I straight up refused. I said it was a bad idea and wasn't safe. They even got the advisor to come up and try to convince me. I still said no. Two weeks later a man was arrested in the dorm down the street after he snuck in and was, shall we say, enjoying himself a little too much. Some poor girl got up to go to the bathroom, saw him and called the cops. No one ever mentioned the pictures again.
Oh gosh! I'm so glad everything turned out okay although I'm sure the girl who found him was probably traumatized! Some people are so willfully dumb! They should have listened to you! This is why I have my CC. I never leave home without it and I believe all women should get one as well. So. Many. Women. would be alive today if they had carried on their body at all times. We shouldn't have to carry weapons around in order to be safe but that's the world we live in. We don't live in a perfect Utopia and we will never live in a perfect utopia. I always wear a lot of cute dresses and so I literally have a thigh holster so I'm safe and cute! You wouldn't leave the house without your phone, don't leave the house without a weapon either.
In one of the hotels I used to work as a maid they came up with the idea to give us nametags with our country of origin, our hobbies and things we'd like to talk about. The managers wanted the guests to know what to talk about with us. I refused to do this from the very beginning. First of all, we were not there to have smalltalk with the guests, we had a certain amount of time to clean a room and were not paid for the extra time we spent there. Second, these are all private things I didn't want to share with anybody. Hotels are full of creeps who think they can do anything with us just because they are paying to stay there. And thirdly, I was sexually abused by a guest in another hotel and it started with him asking me about my nametag. I told all these things to my supervisor who didn't understand my concern, she thought it was just a funny idea. At the end we luckily didn't have to wear the tags
@@WhitneyDahlin thankyou.. what's cc ?
@@amruta4385 conceal carry
Yeah that’s just seems like a bad idea. Glad you stuck to your decision. 👏
Something tangentially related; if you see any of this stuff happening, be the one to step in. There's s psychological phenomenon called the bystander effect where we all assume that someone else will step in to help people... But because everyone is thinking that, nobody acts. The best way to combat it is to know about it so i try to share about it as much as I can
the primary case that was used to prove the "bystander effect" was actually disproved, but I agree with you. Always be the person to step in and be onto it.
A friend and I totally stopped a woman from drinking a drugged drunk! We saw her date put something in her drink when she went to the bathroom, so we told our waitress. She made an excuse ("oops, wrong table, my bad"), took the drink, and found the lady to warn her. We found out later she was in a first date from an app. Watch out for each other out there, ladies!
The guy that took care of his little brother is awesome. I was homeless at 11 yrs old and I never knew that there were places like that. I didn't even know about child protective services. Wish I would have been as smart as he was at that age. Luckily I was introduced to a family that took me in when I was 14 or 15. I'm now in my late 40's and I'm still close to that family. They are more of a family to me than my own family has ever been. I am lucky to have them in my life to this day. Like I've always heard and found to be true you don't have to be blood related to be family.
The tip about the noise cancelling headphones is very true. As a woman who has been living alone for years in big cities, my tip would be to actually wear headphones when you're walking by yourself or in public transportation. No music _ you do want to be aware of your surroundings _ but headphones are a deterrent for unwanted conversations, and they do give you an excuse for not responding to sollicitations or not reacting to catcalling without seeming rude.
Best advice I was ever given: Don’t look like a victim if you don’t want to be one, meaning keep your head on a swivel, make eye contact, and walk with purpose. I will sometimes take it a step further and add an aura of “I will always choose violence”. That is how I, a 5’2”, 125 pound woman can split crowds on NYC sidewalks walking against the tide and ride the subway solo without worries. Being in denial about what could happen makes it more likely.
Go girl, go!! Keep walking like "The Terminator" 😁
I've got a tip, for people who have a history of abusive relationships. Any new potential partner that comes along, make them wait for a commitment. Take things slow. Most abusers want to move at lightning speed, and so if you tell them you want them to earn your trust first, it will turn them off.
Be safe out there ❤
So true. They are love bombers for sure.
My husband ish did this with me. I needed a place to go, my landlord kicked my daughter and I out on Christmas and we had 3 days to get out. I refused to pay rent until he fixed all the windows and doors. I lived in a busy street and people kept breaking in and walking in off the street. He said I didn’t pay the electric bill and shouldn’t worry about the windows being broke and the door not shutting all the way. The judge didn’t see things my way, I contacted renters rights but it was too late. My landlord moved everything along too quickly and I was out. So, my new bf said he couldn’t move me in with him. I said I never asked you babe. I couldn’t put you in that situation. He went home that night and chewed it over and slept on it. The next evening he showed up after work with his truck and a trailer and he moved me out all by himself and moved me into his house. We’ve been five years strong now and not a fight between us. Both of us had previously came from very extensive abusive relationships. Boundaries and respecting boundaries keeps us safe.
i gave this tips to my own best friend! She got cheated on and was badly gaslit to the point she thought it was herself who's the problem. I told her that i had bad premonition about that guy earlier in their relationship, one of the red flags was how fast they got things going on. She asked how long would it take before it is "ideal" to start dating, she was adamant for a number so I said 6 months. She was surprised by how long i suggested, but I told her 6 months is nothing and if a man wait for her for that long, it means he's serious. A few weeks later, she started dating with her current fiance, who turned out to have had a crush on her for 3 years before he finally confessed in our final year of college.
@@edpotter1170 awe how sweet!!!! And my rule is 4 months. Couldn’t agree more.
@@thomasjoseph5876 I think in these cases the person likely has childhood trauma with abusive family of origin & that’s why it feels familiar/safe to be in that dynamic in the 1st place. It’s so true that until you do the work on yourself to heal past traumas, you will continue repeating the abuse cycle… everyone is different though, and sometimes it’s difficult to see what’s happening until you have hindsight or time to reflect. I think some people keep themselves busy with drama so they don’t have to do the painful work of looking inward…
As someone who was the child of an addict I can say for a fact that that the crap I've gone through has definitely made me a very resourceful person. I felt that whole part from the food pantry not letting a kid pick up the food, forging the signatures, and taking care of siblings (I was the 3rd oldest out of 7 and the other two older kids were also on drugs so the younger ones including my autistic little sister were left to me to take care of) just for your 'mother' to turn around and say "oh you think you grown now huh" well yes, yes I do. Tell me why my siblings would make ME mothers day cards/gifts and not you then ma'am. And he was not joking about the splitting up siblings and having that fear. I wanted to tell social services for years that we were not okay but I didn't want to lose my siblings and have everyone hate me. I cried to god one day begging for him to send someone to save us so I wouldn't have to do it and be hated and a week later police showed up and took us all in the middle of the night. It was hell at first but I know for a fact I'd have more dead siblings than I do now if that didn't happen. Hell, maybe I would've died of an overdose too.
On a lighter note, turn the signature upside and THEN copy it. If you try and copy it right side up your brain recognizes it as letters and your own signature will seep through. With it upside down it's just squiggles that you're directly copying.
Thank you for the tip.
& You have true grit
Look at you savin lives and shit! Way to go!
Sending you love from Houston, TX. I know we don't know each other or anything, but what you did for your family was huge, and I'm proud of you. Carry on.
Thank you! I really needed this today you genuinely made me smile!! Its such a coincidence that i posted this 5 months ago but your response was most needed today. I've had a hard one, so thank you and I appreciate you!@@monicaterry2829
❤. Thank you for sharing your story and I love the tip. Take care
I’ll never forget being a teenager in the early/mid nineties. I lived across the street from a grocery store. I was a few houses down when this creep passed by in his car. He almost had his head out the passenger window with HIS TONGUE OUT. My first instinct was to turn around and go back home, but I instead steeled myself and kept going to the store. Good plan! Going home would have just let him know where I live. Going to a grocery store full of people and employees who knew me was better. He was long gone by the time I left.
so a man drove past you thirty years ago and youre still talking about it on a youtube comment. lmao. low key sounds like youre telling this story as a humble brag tbh
@@bm-ww8kbeveryone in the comments are sharing their stories, what are you angry about?
Best advice I can give: Trust your instincts. I listened to mine for my whole life and I avoided very, unpredictable dangerous situations. The one time I DID get into a bad situation was when I put my friend's safety over my own and wilfully put myself in danger to protect them. (I don't recommend doing that). Thankfully, my friend and I were unharmed. This is not me saying everyone who's assaulted just ignored their instincts, but I will say this: your SAFETY is more important than a stranger's FEELINGS. (I.e. if you go on a date and the person is offended you want a picture of them and/or their vehicle to send a friend/family member, that's a red flag). Stay safe out there!
I was with my mother at a league's club. She needed time to let off steam. I was 16 and just chilling with her and texting friends. She haad a rule I adopted as an adult where she didn't have more than 2 alcoholic drinks when out. It's not enough to get drunk and if you are acting drunk then there's something wrong. Anyway she's had her second alcoholic drink and so sends me to the bar to get her a coke. I do that, bring it to her and start texting. Not sure when but I notice she's flopping in her seat, slurring her words. I had to drive her to the hospital. Turns out the BARTENDER spiked the coke thinking it was for me, a literal child. Still gives me shivers to this day
@@kimielle Working in hotels I saw this once and called an ambulance, though the friends of the girl begged me not too because they didn't want their parents to find out they were at the bar. She was drugged and it was the bartender. As far as I know he was charged, fired for sure.
I used to feel guilty or like snobby about maybe crossing the street if someone gave me a shady vibe. But I got over it! Always trust the gut!!!
I have an 11 year old son. That video was absolutely heartbreaking. I wish I could save every precious baby from a childhood like that.
The man talking about what he did to survive as a child I fully relate to. My cousin, siblings and I had to fend for ourselves as our parents were deep in their heroin/cocaine and various other substance addiction and would leave us till 2 in the morning, a day or two or weeks at a time. Sometimes without food or electricity and in winter. My cousin who was like 13 at the time had a babysitting gig across town that she got payed like $1 to $2 an hour for and she sustained 5 of us on McDonald's for about a week one time. And the man's mother's reaction, when he has a moment of pride and she cuts him down before he can even begin....that sh*t sticks with you, you deal with it and make peace only to find it'll come back up again. It never goes away, you just manage it - like anything difficult, really.
You’re not alone 🤗 but some days are better than others and the pain isn’t as strong when you recall those memories
My heart breaks and yet - SO much respect for the art of making something out of nothing. I had different experiences but your last sentences have helped me, too. Wishing you the world. 💌
At a teacher's "before school starts" meeting everyone was lined up to sign in and go through an alphabetized box of folders for our individual information packets. I was checking through the box when "someone" came up and covered my eyes from behind. That "someone" was hit in the gut with my elbow and when I turned around I pushed the person down to the floor. It turned out to be a fellow teacher I actually knew a little bit. He thought he was being cute! I'm a pretty quiet person and really don't like attention on me, but I yelled at him to never EVER do that to anyone. He got the message and left me alone. So much that he left the school. I never saw him again. Thankfully there were no repercussions to my "violent" reaction. Everybody got it.
well yeah obviously wth
I remember a male coworker I was cool with but didn’t talk to every day did something similar. I screamed “get your damn hands off me”. He got upset but in a sad puppy sort of way (he was big guy but known for being sweet) most of the workers tried to make me feel bad except one guy said “naw you can just walk up on someone and do that. He’s lucky she didn’t take off on him. Think about it, you’re in line and suddenly you’re being grabbed from behind and your eyes are covered…” after that, my reaction was understood
When I was a kid my Mum and brother and I were staying at a hotel and when she went down to get ice at night one of the girls from the front desk came up behind her and poked her finger against her back like a gun and said "don't move." My Mum freaked out and they ended up comping the room and giving us some free room vouchers. 🙃
No, honestly I don't agree and you definitely overreacted.
As you described, he was literally trying to be playful and it's 100% a common thing to do, so it wasn't even inappropriate.
You should have just told him that YOU didn't like it, and shouldn't have talked on behalf of everyone because I'm sure I wouldn't have remotely reacted the way you did.
Just because it makes YOU uncomfortable, it doesn't mean it's a general discomfort for everybody else.
Quite an entitled assumption there.
@@robincharles7057Cause nothing says ‘professional’ like pretending to hold your guests at gunpoint, amirite?
I hope that guy and his little brother are thriving. He seems like he's doing well and I'm proud of him
In defense of the girl trying to use the bottle opener, if you did that to me and just kept on saying, “other way,” without giving a proper explanation of what you mean by that, the other person is going to be confused. If someone did that to me, I’d look them dead in the eye and say, “either walk me through the steps or show me how to do it, because if you say other way one more time you’re going to regret it.”
true, the guy should have said "under the cap" not "other way", it's normal to think that maybe you're simply holding it wrong
I was screaming during that one! "Show her what you mean!" giving someone a gadget they've never used before, then calling them stupid for not knowing how makes you look (or actually be) like an a-h@le.
Also, people seriously forget that it's not necessarily about smart or not.
The mental burnout that comes from such a demanding job is crazy high. I work in a hospital, and they're are days where I come home after having to call security on someone coz they napalm "this is sparta" style busted through a plate glass window (while naked) and it takes legit 6 dudes to hold this one tiny person down. Nevermind the psych patient who kicked me, or the code where they were trying to do cpr for 3 hours only for the dude to die anyway.
After that kinda day, I really am on 2 brain cells, because I just CAN'T anymore.
They're are a lot of jobs that might not be physically demanding, but are so mentally demanding that they wear you out completely. And I imagine the stress or being a surgeon and having someone life literally in your hands, is one of those jobs
Same, the video taping and shaming for not knowing how a bottle opener works is not needed for someone who works a high stress job.
@@bottomofastairwell I feel that. While I don’t work in healthcare, one of my friends is a nurse and some of the stories she’s told me are crazy. I don’t know how she does it. I worked in food service for six years at Starbucks, and there were some days where I would be there for 10-12 hours, even if I wasn’t on the floor the entire time. The mental burnout is real. There was one shift that it was just my manager and I four like five hours, because someone called out. I was register, she was barring, we were both running around like crazy, she had to place an order for our food delivery while on bar. Utter nightmare. Once it calmed down and we got someone else on the floor, she had me restock the cups. I grabbed the wrong kind and had already opened the packages when I realized. I was so burnt out that I just said, “shit,” right in front of a customer ordering. My manager just goes, “girl what did you just say?,” and I went, “I mean shoot.” The customer laughed. I would swear on the floor sometimes, but the kind of under your breath, not in front of the customers, type of swearing. My manager knew my brain was fried, and the customer also understood.
The girl who said to get lashes done so she doesn't cry, I understand where's she's coming from, but as I'm learning in therapy it's better to let yourself acknowledge your feelings. It takes way more energy to hold it back in. I kid you not, I allowed myself to ugly cry in the shower the other day...I felt such a clarity and focus that I hadn't felt in a while.
Yeah ....that's the only one here that seemed like not the best advice. But sometimes something works for one person but not for most other people. It seemed like that was mainly a coping mechanism that worked for her. I don't get my lashes done so that wouldn't work for me
@@femmebrulee5053100% If I acknowledge my feelings at an inconvenient time, nothing else gets done but this flood of disruption. Everything will snowball, causing an avalanche that I’ll feel trapped beneath. So, yes, individuation. First thing they teach in premed.
When I was 18 I worked as a barmaid I felt scared walking home felt like this guy was following me, so I rang my grandad and he talked to me all the walk home, It was something I only ever felt the need to do once but it was something Grandad always said I was to do if I was worried walking home from my shift even if it was after midnight he rather be woken up and know I was safe home.
When I was 14/15 my school had this program called "City After Dark". We went back to school and then caught the train into the city with some teachers. It was a really useful experience! There were 4 golden rules - 2 of them were "always know where you are" (take note of street signs, etc) and another was "don't stay in a dark spot."
I can't say I remember the other two, but I'm pretty sure one was to always make sure you know where your friends are, or something like that.
To this day I'm so glad my school did that excursion!! It's now nearly 20 years later and I still (mostly) remember those rules!!
Wow...I've never heard of a school doing that! You must have lived in a very large city
@@kellysong2256 Perth, Australia - so not as big as some of the others but decent enough 😊
It's a rule for me not to wear headphones or earphones when walking or out in public, if I do wear earphones I only allow myself to wear it on one ear so I can still hear my surrounding. Another safety tip I learned is that if you are being kidnapped you have to do your best to fight and make a commotion rather than go quietly, its a rule that you should do your best to prevent them from taking you to a second location where it's quieter. I'd rather get shot or stabbed and possibly die like that than have something worse happen to me if I'm taken to a second location.
I wear headphones out, but they arent on..
@@dorothytucker9305 why muffle your hearing? Please don't take risks.
@Alec Deull I LOOK like Im busy, and wont hear them, but they arent actually plugged into anything. Its another way to get people who would otherwise bother you to not. I can hear everything. Theres no music or anything. AND I can "be on the phone" at any time saying, "I just passed X street, I should be there in Y mins.."
The gut feeling one is so right! As women we always think about it when strange men approach us, but when you get that gut feeling then you must listen. I was on the train at night, and a man sits across from me, and i got a bad feeling just from that idk why. And because i didnt know why i didnt listen to myself. The train was half empty so it was kinda weird he sat so close but not THAt empty that it was super noticeable. So i ignore my feeling. Then because it was really dark and i had to catch a bus later i start checking the stops names, and everytime i bend over to check the window he moves like he is gonna get up too. I dont pay attention because maybe he just wants to let me pass. So i still get the bad feeling when i get to my stop, and he gets down too, so i decide to let him pass and walk slowly, so im able to see him. He starts walking slow too and checking behind. And then i realize that that "gut feeling for no reason" was correct. So anyways i stay on the platform, waiting until the last parents with their carts get off too, then i go with them so im not alone. Its been several minutes since the guy "left". I get to the turnstile and i see he is standing in front of them. He isnt waiting for someone, theres only one platform and im the last one. So there was an exit to the left and another to the right. I should i have pretended i went to the right, but in that moment i didnt think about it, so the moment i made the move to go to the left he leaved that direction too. I decided to stay in the station, where theres cameras, until my bus came because i still had 10 minutes until then. When its time i decide to leave the station, an di see him there, on the door, looking towards inside. So i just realize im not gonna get rid of it by just trying to avoid him, so when i get out and pass next to him i decided to look at him in the eyes, and try to remember his face, for when i call the police. And he likes, sees that i see him (not like he was trying to hide, but i mean his intentions), and i go to the bus, and im ready to tell the bus driver in case he tries to get on the bus too. But he sees me, waiting next to the bus driver, looking directly at him, and he doesnt get up. The bus drove away and nothing happened but i have no doubt if i went home walking something would have happened to me. The worst part is the next day wanting to go to the police, and everyone warning me they wouldnt listen to me "because nothing happened" (My friends were being supportive, but didnt want me to go thru more stress by being gaslighted by the police)
The bumper sticker one has been around for a long time. My parents had to take security classes that included defensive driving due to their jobs, and growing up they always told us to never put any descriptive bumper stickers on our cars as people can use them to single you out for attack. Even ones that might seem innocent like say a dog paw. If you've been targeted (without knowing) they can use that also.
Other things we were taught that they learned was always scan your surroundings. Take notice of everyone from anyone that is suspicious to anyone that might be able to aid you. While driving stay about 3 to 4 car lengths away from the person in front of you, and if you can avoid driving directly next to someone then avoid it. Staying far back from the person in front of you will allow (besides the obvious reasons) you to maneuver easier in the event you need to get away from a car trailing you.
One of the most important one is to NEVER take the same route daily. Always have at minimum 2 routes, even better if you can have more then 2. Growing up my parents had 4 routes they would take to work, and would mix them up so there was never a "routine". Even when my mom took us to school she had 2 routes.
When it came to us at our cheer practice, and ect (I took many things from cheer, karate, blah blah) my parents never left us. My mom would always stay at practice or a friend/girl my ages dad would stay at practice. My friends dad was actually my mom's Boss for a few years so they trusted eachother. It was the only parent that they fully trusted while we were young.
My parents weren't spies or anything, I know it sorta sounds like they were 😂 They worked for the Gov and many gov workers have to take defensive driving courses and security courses. I know a bunch more tips, sadly my mom passed away but I could ask my dad if he still remembers some.
Unless you are a celebrity or famous person of any kind, such measures are incredibly unnecessary. No one is following you every day. No one is tracking your every move. You are not the protagonist in a movie. If you feel like you have to take a different route to work every day in order to throw off potential serial killers who are stalking you, you need therapy, not security courses. Statistics show that most crimes are impulsive and the targets are picked at random. No one is planning an elaborate heist to mug you. If you have reason to believe that your life is in danger, get a gun and learn how to use it.
You don't have to be "famous" for someone to stalk you. You don't even have to be good looking. Crazy stuff can happen to ANYONE. It's always a good idea to be alert, pay attention to your surroundings, keep your head on a swivel, etc. Pepper spray is not expensive, neither is a personal alarm or whistle (I have all 3) and if you make a habit of being out after dusk, carry a flashlight. Sometimes that can be enough to deter a potential attack.
@@noxteryn Obviously you weren't a federal government kid or certain type of military kid. It's a different type of up bringing. There were times during my childhood where one of my parents was given a warning for one reason or another and I don't mean a "you're in trouble" warning. We never went out of the country for various reasons, none were financial. Most people will never have a stalker, thankfully, but also many won't experience the sort of upbringing that a fed government kid would which teaches you to ALWAYS be aware of people and surroundings. It's honestly something everyone one should know, especially with how the world is now.
Definitely part of the CIA
@noxteryn Better to act like someone is stalking you when they're not, then to act blasé and do nothing when you are being followed
I feel so bad for the guy who was abandoned by his mom. It’s heartbreaking 😢. No 11 year old should have to go through that. I’m proud of him for even being able to take on that responsibility.
It's so messed up. I read an article that talked about how there is a high abandonment rate at DISNEYLAND. It's like what's wrong with these people 😳
Wow that’s messed up. Isn’t Disney supposed to be the Happiest Place on Earth? How could you just abandon your child like that? Their are so many woman who can’t have kids and would gladly have that child. I wasn’t even aware parents were doing that? It’s a crazy world we are living in today.
Charlotte is awesome. She is a genuine person. I love starting off my morning with a Charlotte video. I remember when she quit her job to become a YT, it was definitely a risk, but a risk that paid off.
Me too! It broke my heart! But he was damned resourceful for 11.. I’d be proud to call him son
Brings up the nature vs nurture question… how an 11 yo boy can take on such responsibility while dealing with a horrible situation and a child with a loving family can commit horrific crimes. Kudos to this young man.
I grew up in Venezuela. There are a couple of things I learned to do. Don't be afraid of being rude. If you see someone suspicious, have a good look at them. Let them notice you checking them out, memorizing their outfit and markers. If they don't have the element of surprise on their side, they will move on. Always walk with a purpose, firm confident steps. First thing I do when getting into a car is lock the doors. Also, when you go into a building/home/parking garage with an automated door, you drive in and stop until the door is completely closed again and watching intently that nobody is walking in. A friend of mine got robbed while driving into a building. The robbers slipped in while the door was closing and then put a gun to his head when he got out of the car. If a car in front of you break checks you or makes you hit them on purpose, drive off. If you are at a red light and the car in front of you is not moving acting like it broke down, do NOT get out under any circumstances. Back up and drive around them fast. If a thug stands in the middle of the road trying to get you to stop or have you crash into the side of the road, you run that mofo over. Yep it's that bad. Sooooo there.
I love the advice for paying attention to animals especially cats. My dogs go off if a leaf blows but if my cats are paying attention, I know I need to pay attention.
Idk my cat growls at the fedex and ups trucks. 😆
Yeah animals are the best! They really are man's best friend. My Pitbull is a rescue. And she is extremely attached to me she's very protective. I feel like I'm her emotional support human. I'm a stay-at-home wife so we're together 24/7. And I live in an apartment building (we go on long walks every day together) and there was this person lurking around my porch. We're on the first floor and I do have a bar in the sliding door but you can't tell that there's a bar blocking the sliding door from the outside. And my pit heard him and went charging into living room snarling jumping up against the glass, she was throwing herself up against the glass and this dude was freaked out and walked quickly away. I don't know what he was doing on my porch. Maybe he didn't have any nefarious intentions he was just waiting for a ride or got the wrong apartment. But my dog wasn't going to take any chances. She's literally my best friend she maybe saved my life and I didn't even know it.
I am that person who takes my cats for walks, and I can tell you that when my cat gets spooked by something, I'm paying attention.
The other week he was just being weird, refused to walk in a direction we always go, so we turned back. But not before someone came around the corner and was like, "oh, be careful, they're 2 coyotes around the corner down the street"
Cats know. I frequently take him with me when I go hiking in the woods. He loves hiking. But he's also my warning system.
Even in terms of new people or guys I date. If you can't get along with my cat, it's not gonna work.
Lol, thankfully the boyfriend i have more will come over and kitty loves him, he'll even sleep on my boyfriend's head
Exactly. Every time I think the sound I heard is suspicious, I look at my cat. If she is alert, I worry, if she is sleeping just fine, you bet I will be doing the same, lol.
I follow that, but sometimes my cat just randomly freaks out and there's nothing anywhere. I still pay attention, but it does give my a mild heart attack every time she does it.
As older kids, my siblings and I would play in grocery stores while our parents would shop. We would walk quickly and stealthily trying to hide from each other while simultaneously sneaking up on/stalking each other. It really built up skill for us to zig zag to different areas in the store and be very aware of our surroundings. While playing , we simultaneously had to be aware of when our parents were ready to go and still act casual and respectful.
This has come in handy because any time I feel uncomfortable in a store or similar environment, I am really good at losing a tale.😂
A tip on keeping yourself and your purchased stuff safe in a parking lot (especially around holidays) is to have your car key in your hand as you leave the store, watch the people around you ie just standing around in the parking lot or the door, and only unlock the driver's door and proceed to get into the vehicle through that door, close and lock it before you start the car. This has helped me numerous times, including people sitting in their own car waiting for you to return. I had a co-worker who got her purse stolen while she emptied her grocery cart into her vehicle. Stay safe, y'all ❤
The stick family thing: on the TV show Dexter one of the villains tricked a kid into going with him by reading his and his family's names off the sticker on their car, then saying he was a police officer and giving him the names of his sister and father and saying they were in an accident. Scary how realistic and plausible that was.
I had an experience a few months ago where a guy I am an acquaintance with (who I probably met at a party or something) wanted to meet up because he was going through something and needed some help. This was to a reply to an IG story I did about mental health. I initially agreed because I was worried about this persons wellbeing, but I made sure to suggest meeting in a public area that was far enough away from my home. Something seemed off and that night I could not sleep and had a really bad feeling about this. The next morning as I was about to cancel on him because this feeling was really overwhelming, he messaged me to ask me to wear something sexy and then I blocked him.
A month later I find out this same person went to a comic con in my city and was going around aggressively harassing women. It got to a point where 40+ people came forward with stories of him stalking them, asking them to come to his home for "photoshoots", and other disturbing behavior. After all this, I am so glad my anxiety and my gut kicked in because if I hadn't something bad could have happened. So, even if the person is someone you met before, but you don't know them well enough they are still a stranger and follow that gut!
Always follow the gut feeling. Thank god you did just that. There always will be some 💩 people trying to take advantage of empathetic ones. It’s an easy pray. Even when I look around at social media accounts of guys fundraising money to spread kindness, immediately in their comments there are thousands of scammers trying to get to their followers.
Charlotte, you couldn't be more right about people's energy. It's the most telltale sign that people let off. If you teach yourself, you can read people like book. Much in the way that dogs sense the energy coming off of people and react to them accordingly, you can sense it too. Some people are able to see it even, in the form of color, it's referred to as someone's aura. It's pretty fascinating.
I was walking down some railroad tracks at the edge of town one night, by myself. Some guy was following me. A really big dog ran up to the tracks and stood between us, growling at the man. It's the only time I've ever seen that dog, in my life. And that was about 22 years ago.
As I was growing up my mom would ALWAYS point out the little stick figure family stickers on cars and tell me to NEVER put one on my own car in the future, as you are literally letting everyone know everything about your family. Even as a 17 year old I will notice these stickers and make mental notes about how many kids they have, how many males and females are in that family, what pets they have, etc. and I don’t even mean to do it.
They're kinda cute but like a menu for predators.
I see a lot of those that have the actual names under each stick figure. That's awfully dangerous. Even the "In Memoriam" ones seem risky. They typically have the full name of the person who died along, with birth and death dates, nicknames, and sometimes names of the survivors. A predator could use that info to prey on them.
I’m thinking I might get a bumper sticker of a big mean looking dog
Damn. Do people actually do that? They are very... innocent. I will be getting my driving license soon and I'm debating over getting that "new driver" sticker, but then I worry about someone trying to take advantage of me as a new driver and a woman, somehow. I'm an overthinker tbh, but it has served me well so far.
@@stillfangirlingtoday1468 Don't get it. Once you have a license you should know as much as you need to know about driving and you do not need to indicate anything else to anybody.
One of my siblings who is an EMT said that "Baby on Board" is so Fire and Rescue can know to check if there's a child first in case of an accident/emergency, especially if there's an actual baby in the car, they need to be rescued/saved first.
Me and my daughter where in line for a concert when she was around 15 I forgot something in the car approx 40 feet away while I was getting it I saw the guy behind her turn and walk away I went back and asked what happened she said he told her she looked cold he could warm her up she told him that's what pepper spray is for I was very proud of her. By the way she had on steel toe combat boots and spiked bracelets .
I grew up in Skidrow in Downtown Los Angeles CA. Richard Ramirez was killing people in my neighborhood before he became wanted. I saw people be murdered for drug territory. I knew the gangs that ran the streets. Did bad stuff too in order to stay alive and in good terms with the gang. Could not concentrate in school nor learn till 8th grade. I never did drugs and was able to move four hundred miles away.
Look at me now, I'm still alive and still have a clean criminal record.
Proud of you, even if a lot of it also has to do with luck (like not being killed haha)
@@lisamartin9831 haha??!!
@@alecdeull8487 I had to put it, I couldn't not put it. 🤣
I could totally relate to the man taking care of his sibling at 11! I was babysitting at 8, took care of my brother and sister at 12. Had to take my baby brother to the hospital when he was 2 and I was 13 cause he wouldn't stop throwing up and had a fever. I grew up FAST! My late Mom loved to party and didn't like being a parent.
Story time: my sisters, mom and I went to Rome. When the taxi driver dropped us off, he dropped us off at the totally wrong place and so we were lost. We looked lost, with all our bags and everything. These three guys walked up to my sister and mom and asked if they could help. So we followed the guys to their apartment so my sister could look at their computer. This was 2000 or 2001 so smart phones were dumb. Anyway, my mother and sisters followed these three guys into their apartment. I felt totally creeped out and refused to go in. Mind you, I was the youngest of the group at 22. One of the guys kept trying over and over again to get me to go into the apartment too, I didn’t budge though. The guys kept muttering in Italian to each other, then would speak English trying to get me in or talking to my sisters and mom who were already in the apartment. After about 20 min my sister found where our hotel actually was, and we left. That whole thing still bothers me to this day.
... hmm have to wonder what would have happened had you gone in.
Man your mom and sister really don't have any survival instinct I'm sorry to say. The fact that the 3 guys were pressing you to come in should have been a good enough indicator to them that something was off. I am astonished at such carelessness honestly.
Understand the comment but try to bear in mind that, firstly, things were different in the late 90s/very early 2000s with far less general knowledge about what's going on in the world, and secondly, those were the days before you could look up stuff on your phone - in fact, most people didn't even have home computers and it was more common to go to an internet store to get online (weird to think of that but, it's true!). No Facebook, no Twitter, no UA-cam, etc. Lastly, many first-time travelers to foreign countries tend to have a bit of a false sense of security. Things have changed a lot and we know way more with better access to information. 'Astonished at their carelessness' is easy to say in hindsight.
I take care of an elderly gentleman, he's a retired engineer. He lives with his daughter, a retired doctor. Their power went out. They didn't realize that they can have hot food/water by using a lighter to start the burner on their gas stove. I was both thrilled that I was the smartest in the room at the time and concerned about the level of education that they had.
Ok tbf most people weren't taught about this but thank you for the new knowledge
Education and intelligence are NOT the same thing. Anyone can buy an education and the guy at the bottom of the class, about to flunk out that just squeaks by and hardly takes his education seriously still gets to call himself Dr.
@@thomasjoseph5876 as long as you ventilate the room well it's OK but it's still fairly dangerous to use gas stoves/heaters in a room unless there is a vent to allow exchange of air apparently. It can be very dangerous to infants and anyone with asthma especially.
This is why my mother preferred gas stoves, but she was very annoyed when she bought a new one in 1980 to find out they now had an electric gas cutoff safety switch so that doesn't work anymore.
There are many times when the school of life is the best education .
I was seven years old and walking home from school when a man in his thirties came up to me and started talking to me. He told me i was really pretty and asked how old i was. When i told him he said i looked older than that. I remember being really scared and although it was only like a hundred metres to where i lived for some reason i walked into the local grocery store and waited there until he left. It wasn't street smarts at that age but some childish instinct i think. It could have been so much worse if i walked into the apartment building and he followed me to the stairwell. This still sends shivers down my spine after all these years.
I was in a store a while back, everything was fine when suddenly i got this feeling of danger. I have anxiety and im very intuitive, my mom was with me and asked me what was wrong i told her and we quickly got out of the store. The feeling of danger intensified greatly and didn’t stop until a few blocks away, always trust your gut.
My ex always tells me, "for being that smart, you're pretty dumb" 😅. Him and our daughter are very street smart, and I'm always blown away by how quick they are. Like the 'running in the opposite direction' would totally be something that they would think are obvious to do. I have my uni. degree but I don't get the simplest things. I think they are much more clever than I am, but we just have different qualities. They are free thinkers.
They sound a little abusive and how often in life are you being followed? If it's such a big problem, use your university degree and higher pay and get out of that neighborhood!..lol
‼️Yeah here's some more tips
Don't have a personalized girly license plate or girly necklaces hanging on your rear-view mirror or girly seat covers anything like that for the same reason you shouldn't have the girly bumper sticker. It lets bad men know that this is a woman's car so she's most likely alone. So a lot of times men will wait under the car or near the car. It puts a target on your back
Sliding glass doors are extremely easy to break into with basically no effort. It doesn't matter if they are locked you need to put a bar inside on the track that will keep anyone from being able to pop the lock and slide the door open. Several famous serial killers exclusively targeted houses with those doors because they were so easy and quiet to get open.
As a residentially challenged woman I found that having a big dog turns a lot of people around. If I sense that they wanna fuck around and find out, I pull out my 12” blade I keep on my hip, along with the pocket knife that’s tucked away on a different location of my body. Oh, and a couple of more “just in case” back up knives. I’ll just say this, 8 years on the streets and I’ve never had a problem
I’ll try to make this brief. I was in my home city visiting my parents and friends. I went to a party downtown by myself thrown by friends. Left about 2:00 am. Once in my general neighborhood there was no traffic but there was a car following me very closely. Every turn I made, they made. I could see that there were two men in this vehicle. Once I turned onto the street my parents lived in they turned too, and they killed their headlights!! I was scared to death! All I could think of was getting to my parent’s house. They lived on a corner with the driveway in the back. I don’t know what I was thinking, but after parking, I went around the side of the house to see if they were gone. Coming right towards me was the biggest man I’d ever seen! We both stopped dead in our tracks, and I just screamed at the top of my lungs “You get out of here right now!” Then I turned tail and ran towards my parent’s back door in my high heels! I got to the door and started pounding and screaming that there was a man after me, while I’m trying yo unlock the door with the other hand, looking over my shoulder coz I just knew he had to be right behind me! My parents came out just as I got in, with me screaming call 911 call 911! (Before cell phones) I also ran to the front door to see if they were out there. (they weren’t) when the cops came they told me that by confronting the guy like that I probably saved my life. However, I tell you that to tell you if that ever happens to you, if you are being followed, drive to the nearest police station! If you don’t know where one is, drive to a busy store, anywhere there are people. Flash your lights, lay on the horn, drive erratically. Be smart girls. Don’t do what I did.
Great tips! If someone somehow gets into your car with bad intent, don't be afraid to cause an accident in order to get attention. Hopefully it can be a minor one especially if you've already thought out the scenario. That's part of the safety factor -- thinking things through ahead of time so you aren't trying to think while under pressure. It's why professions like doctors/nurses, cops, firefighters, lifeguards, and soldiers/military etc train and run scenarios and train themselves not to panic.
I was an avid runner ran the same route at the same time every day, one morning a cop stopped me as I ran by him, he said I see you running this route every day if I see you so do other people, he advised me to change up my times and routes he also recommended not to run with a ponytail.
That is a smart idea, you don’t want people knowing your route that you jog every day. Stay safe
❤️
I use to do the same, one time my mom joined me and advised I go to a gym or workout at home instead because it was dark (5AM) and I was a 19 year old female.
4:19 This is so important. Please, listen to your gut. There have been many times where I "got a bad vibe" from someone and dismissed it trying to give them the benefit of the doubt. I was always wrong and regretted it later when I dismissed my intuition like that. On the other hand, it is worth mentioning that my gut has never been wrong. Not in 20 years. When you feel something, do not overthink it. Your gut knows something you consciously don't.
After being a first responder in a few different roles, my tip is always leave yourself an exit. Never let someone get between you and the exit. Hug the wall. Stay alert.
Absolutely. Head on a swivel at all times. It's amazing how many people are wandering around with zero situational awareness.
Wait, what do you mean by 'hug the wall'?
Crowd anxiety has led to multiple breakdowns, panic attacks, freezing, or shutting down. I can’t even comprehend going to a convention that is indoors!
I have to have four escape routes at all times. I feel better if I can be outside. Gem and Mineral Show is indoors, but there’s plenty of escape room. And it doesn’t feel overly crowded. Pride is outside, but can get too crowded (Great Dane bulled his way over to me from the Dumb Friends booth because I was starting to hyperventilate). Ren Fest is fenced, but outdoors, and feels safe and carefree enough that I’m not panicking.
Star Trek Convention? Inside, I panicked
Comicon? Indoors, I shut down
Japanese Summer Festival? Indoors, getting stressed, a very kind comic book artist helped me get outside and stayed with me until I had calmed down
Large class lecture… I had to drop the class
As someone w severe anxiety pretending to be confident while internally panicking is just a normal experience for me
I’m with you on that all the way. I have crippling anxiety and panic attacks, but try to put on a happy face.
Seeing all this I realize that I literally grew up in a bubble... My worst encounter was a probably 80 year old guy following my best friend and me while we were on a school trip. I always had a pretty good sense of orientation, so I guided us through on a more complicated route through the labyrinth of small streets back to our language school. We lost him easily, then waited at the school for a couple of minutes, to make sure all was clear. That was the only time I had made bad experiences with strangers though.
My mom left me with 3 kids ( my brothers) for 3 weeks when she went to Saskatchewan for my grandma's funeral. I was 14. No $. No food. Ended up begging the local store ( 4 km away) for credit to feed us. The boys were 3, 4, and 9.
That’s so sad 😢. I don’t know what’s going on these parents? They are supposed to be taking care of their kids, not the other way around. I’m sorry you and your siblings had to go through that.
I am so sorry you went through that! I can't imagine...
Was grandma the Queen of England? Whose funeral lasts three weeks?
@@shawnadennis613 They simply don't care. Not everyone having kids actually wanted/s them or loves them or 8s a decent person.
why wouldn't you and your brothers be going along for your own grandma's funeral?
thank you so much for putting this out, this topic is really important for so many reasons. I actually just had an issue with a stalker that lives near where I am and he follows me when I bring my dog out for a walk at night. I've had to change my walking habits, routes, and everything else just because this dude doesn't understand me saying 'no' to him asking for my number four times now. It came to a head last week when he followed me to my apartment's door and a neighbour had to tell him he was being a creep. I'm so fed up with these problems :c
Did you call the police? Maybe you can get a restraining order
You should notify him to the authorities, so they at least have a record if he goes farther.
You should film him.
Report him and keep a record of each time he does this. That way you have evidence if anything further were to happen. Record should include the day, time, street, area, etc. where it happened. Depending on your phone, get a privacy screen protector and the next time he follows you, pretend like you're doing something else, but you're recording him or at the very least taking a photo. Talk into the phone, say the day, time, your name, where it's happening and that this guy has been following and harassing your for a long period of time quietly.
Also depending on your dogs size, if it's a large breed, teach it to bark on command and to not stop until you tell him to stop (a 'quiet' command). Look up online how to do it, but once done, when he comes up to you again, give your dog the command to 'speak' aka bark and call the police. Scream loudly at him, so others can hear, that you're calling the cops and your dog WILL bite if he gets any closer.
It doesn't matter if your dog will bite or not, but if your dog barks, it can intimidate most people if it's a larger breed. Give the cops all info, first thing say where you are at - map out your routes beforehand, so you know street names, then your name. Then give information on the offender, especially how he looks. Say he has done this before and you're scared for your well-being.
Also make sure you are picking routes with no forest or a lot of trees/bushes in one cluster, keep yourself safe and walk on well lit streets, preferrably with decent amount of commotion, too. Maybe where there are open shops, if you live in a country that has shops open late at night.
you want me to scare him for you? Bc deadass. I LOVE being the crazy friend. I WILL go after him with a knife and it WILL be fun for me. If you don't take no for an answer, be prepared to have someone crazier than you come give you yours.
Yep I remember when I first started working in a call center (this is back in the 90's). Some bright spark decided it would be a great idea for all of us to answer the phone with our full name (yep first and last name). My first question was: "So, will pay for me to have a silent number? What will you do to ensure that no upset customer can track me down and cause a threat?" Crickets. Never mentioned again.
That man who took care of himself and his brother you are amazing! I am sorry you had to go through this my son just turned 12 and I wouldn't dream of leaving him alone at night! Xx
My mom used to say that if someone is following you, or if someone is trying to attack you, you must yell: ''FIRE''. Because if you yell ''HELP'' there's a chance that nobody will come to help you, because they will be scared. But, everybody will look outside and/or go outside if they think there's fire near them.
Lol I have a Eclectus Parrot, Grover and he will squawk if he doesn't recognize someone walking up to the door... He is a good watch bird. Other than that, he's pretty quiet. Me and my boyfriend were play fighting like wrestling on the couch and I screamed because he started tickling me and when I screamed. Grover totally went off... 😂
We laughed and had to let Grover know we were just playing!!! But it's good to know if I get attacked I have a bird that u can hear screaming a block away. 😂 we like to go on walks together and I feel safe.
For the wedding ring tip, it's crazy that those "people" are less likely to attack us if they think that we are "other man's property". They don't want to offend a fellow man rather than having a common sense and be a decent human instead, which is really sad
I use to wear a fake wedding ring to the club, I was a Latin dancer and we would go as a group, and more than once a guy would ask me if I was married mid-dance (it’s normal in dance communities to dance with strangers even if you are attached as long as it’s done respectfully) and then would take my ring off and look at it, because it was cheap it was pretty noticeable but as a college student I couldn’t afford more than a KHOLS 20 dollar ring. I would then get profusely hit on. One of them even threw my ring across the dance floor and I didn’t get back until one of the singers found it on the stage after the club closed. 😢
What? The reason is, that they think you have someone waiting for you at home and waiting for you to come home. That is why they will leave you alone, they don't want someone to call the cops on them after a few hours.
@@darkwolf453 that could be the reason in some cases. however, a lot of the time, when women with a bf get hit on to the point of it being uncomfortable and having to call their bf over, the guy will usually say "hey man, sorry about that" instead of apologizing to the girl
@@reii9554 I guess I just can't relate to that
@@darkwolf453 i mean, your name sounds like youre a guy so.. yeah obviously you cant relate to being a woman out at night lol
Approach an older woman and shout MOM THIS GUY'S FOLLOWING ME. As an older woman who has been young I promise we will understand and help you
It will most of the time work with basically anyone if you need help. Better to single out potential helpers in a busy place however, or people won't help because they think someone else will.
I tried that and the lady basically said "You're not my kid, fuck off" very loudly and cursed me out in Spanish. Southern California, older folk in my living area don't help at all 🤣😂
@@MarshmallowPumpkin889 Yeah, I really thin younger people are more likely to understand instantly.
“Older gentleman, he’s like 45”…
I’m not even close to pushing 40 yet and I feel old by that statement 😂
I dig the tip of paying attention to animals around you. I've been in my yard, facing away from the gate and noticed my cat suddenly stiffen and look towards the gate. I look, and there's usually a person or another animal. My cats also take cues from me. If I chase an animal away, they will take chase with that specific animal if they see it in the future. If a person shows up that causes me stress, they will attack or run, depending on the situation (I don't live in the greatest of neighborhoods).
Yeah, except the way she was talking about it made it sound like she expects there to be a dozen cats just sitting everywhere she goes.
@@mage1439 Always someone gotta make things negative. If there are animals, pay attention. If not, use one of the numerous other tips 🙄
@@terrip8451 Making an innocuous observation is being negative...
I live off-grid, nearest neighbor is more than a mile away. We have large predators, and occasionally some scummy people who drive out here looking for stuff to steal. I have a herd of goats, and if I hear them making their "spitting" noise, it always means that they feel threatened so I grab my rifle and megaphone and run outside to see what's going on. I scared the crap out of an OnTrac driver once who pulled into my driveway because they were lost and Google maps was wrong!
Usually when they make that noise, it's coyotes, feral dogs, or mountain lion. The last time a mountain lion showed up @ 3:00 AM, my son's cat started howling and hissing even though she couldn't see the thing (cats are always indoors, dog stays inside after sundown). They can sense danger even when it's not very close.
I'm not in a great neighborhood either, and I've got 2 Pitties. They're big goofy babies and family, and I trust their instincts.
My 2 kitties are young but, observant.I think they'll grow up fine between their instincts and their siblings the Pitties. 😉👍🐾🐾
My friend was walking alone at night some years back and she said she noticed a man was following her so she started walking faster and slipped around a corner, picked up a rock, put it in her bag and beat the shit out of him lol
The 11 yr old story hits too close to home. Went through something similar and man, it’s a tough thing to relive
The one with the mom gone for months gave me a flash back, I too was taking care of my sister when i was 11 years old too for days and days getting her to school helping with homework, giving baths and keeping the place clean and making breakfast lunch and dinner. My mom loved to go out and partying and drink crashing at someone else's place while I stay at home alone with my little sister doing what she was suppose to do, be a mom. As soon I turned 11 she was thrilled she can go out without finding a babysitter or paying anyone with watch over us for days while she's out partying. I too kept my mouth shut about what's going on at home nobody knew.
Is the law that if your 11, you can look after younger siblings?? Or just be home yourself?? In Australia it's 12, but it's not for days..
@@josephine4611 Im from Canada and yes we were home by ourselves and also for days, back then I didn't know what she was doing was illegal. I was naive child thinking I was being taught about responsibility.
@☆Sora91☆ just scary how wrong things can go in such a short amount of time.. I'm shocked how common it is..
O m g ... the guy forging his mom's signature just .. wow. What a survival story.❤
Child services actually usually tries to keep siblings together especially when there's only 2 of them as opposed to 7. He's a good big brother but I'm especially sad that he was so scared to get help
I have a really bad sense of direction and zero ability to recognize vehicles, so learning how to act confident when lost was something I needed. I learned maps and locations and how to get where I needed. Luckily nothing bad ever happened to be when I was lost or got into the wrong vehicle (not my mum's car). People are usually more scared of you when you enter the wrong car than thinking of doing you harm because you've got you head in the clouds.
The first tip is already heavily used by me. When a creepy man comes up to me I’ve never aged back 10 years so fast
Just gotta throw this out there - the wedding ring thing 100,00% does NOT work! I NEVER - literally never - got more attention from guys in my entire life until *after* I got engaged...and I wasn't sexually assaulted or raped before then either...
Idk if some men see it as a challenge or a sign that "hey, another guy thinks this is good enough to lock-down, lemme see what this chick is about", but it definitely did nothing to deter any men I met or hung out with during that time...quite the opposite.
Like even friends who'd known me since HS would suddenly try to make-out with me (and I certainly never had anyone interested in me in HS, didn't get asked out until I was 19, so it was very out of the blue kinda thing for them to do).
For the record - not that I should have to say this, but just to be clear - I did not do anything to invite or encourage any of the unsolicited behavior I was subjected to. The only thing I could suggest to *maybe* rationalize this shift in my interactions, is that maybe I was behaving more confidently or expressing myself more freely *because* I felt protected + reassured by my ring...but ladies please know that you still have to have your guard up and cannot take for granted that others will respect a ring being there....the kind of people who will take advantage of you already don't respect your person or your agency...a ring isn't going to do a damn thing to dissuade someone like that...
It’s never worked for me. I used to always wear a fake one & these dudes don’t give a fuck. They’d be like “well is he here?” & then I have to figure out how to get out of that place without the dude following me & figuring out I’m not with a man.
@@CreatureCargaux Yeesh. I'm sorry you've gone through that. But that's why I wanted to comment about my experience...it's dangerous for women to think they're safe because they have a ring.
A few of my girls and I will call/FaceTime each other when guys approach or unwanted attention is being thrown our way or we feel in an unsafe area. We’re in our mid 30’s- early 40’s with teen girls of our own and we still to this day do it and we just know whenever wherever if they call pick up.
One of the scariest experiences for me was on my third day at my first ever job. I work as a housekeeper at a hotel (so I do room services where I take out the rubbish, make beds, yk, things like that). This might not seem like a lot but as a 17 year old girl at her first job it freaked me out a lot. Basically I was doing this guys room service, and hes like this 30 year old man, his room is DISGUSTING, like food everywhere, rubbish everywhere, and he was sitting eating this meal with food on his face while watching tv as me and my coworker do the room service. and then as we leave (i left last) he came up behind me (and i look young btw, like i do NOT look above 18) put his hand on my waist and asked for my number. At this point my coworker was outta the door of the room so she didn't hear and i was freaking out. so i acted like i didnt hear him and speed walked outta there. its nothing like what other people deal with but it was my third day and i was just really freaked out and uncomfortable and I didn't feel comfortable doing room services on my own for the next 3 months after that. its just really got to me
Not exactly street smarts but following your intuition. For a long time my mom had recurring nightmares about walking into my school and finding out that I was dead. Right before we moved she came to pick me up early (I usually walked home) and she walked through part of the school that she'd never been in before. She told about her dreams when I was older and told me that section of the school looked exactly like in her dreams.
A few years after we moved it came out that there was a serial killer in that area who was targeting girls the same age as I was and who looked very similar to me. We'll never know if she was right and anything would have happened to me if we stayed there, but it never hurts to follow your gut and leave a place you think is dangerous.
but... no one followed their gut in this story... nor did anything you guys did protect you from anything. who was this serial killer?
It's funny how back in '09 I had this intuition feeling about this guy that was fixing something in my mom's house. And I told her when we were in the hallway I had a bad feeling about him. She brushed it off like it was nothing. A week later we came back to police and the news crew all around the area and they were at his house. Turned out he k*ll*d someone... my mom said she'd never doubt me again. Always listen to your gut people!! Your gut feeling is always right!!
I remember as a young woman being taught not to just holler HELP! Its statically been proven most people wont help a woman fighting with a man if shes just yelling help 😢 sadly i learned this first hand that most wont even make eye contact while your actively being assaulted crying for help. DV Survivor here 💜 Truth is you have you scream FIIRE or SAVE MY BABY! It's a sad world, but knowledge is power, ladies. Keep your head on a swivel.
The 1st car I owned, didn’t have a car alarm like nowadays, so my deterrent was a life-like snake 🐍that I placed under my emergency brake when parked & on the front seat or dashboard when driving. It freaked out a lot people when they got in my car, including baby sis when she tried to help back out of the carport in order to ship my car from VA to CA. 😂
I was a child, maybe around 7 or 8, walking home in the snow with a friend. Within a block of the school a man (to us he was old) stood in front of us and opened his coat. My friend and I burst out laughing! This man actually looked stunned we would laugh. At that age we weren't thinking about naked bodies...we don't care. He slowly closed his coat and turned and went back to his car. We giggled all the way home. I don't remember telling an adult about it because, to us, it wasn't a big deal. Our conversation was about him being cold. As an adult I do know how dangerous that was but at 8, who cared. Moral of the story ... point and laugh, worked for me. (BTW, that was in the 60's)
When someone is following you in a store start putting the supplies for a murder kit in your basket LOL
I was in college and I was waking to the student center by myself from (note: it was literally a five minute walk and very well lit) and there was group of guys who started to catcall me. Now normally I am very shy when it comes to new people so I just started to walk really fast. One of the guys must have seen my behavior and told them to stop as I must be meeting my boyfriend at the student center and wished me a good night. I went along with it and nodded in thanks, as I was single. After that I never walked alone to my dorm and made sure that I had one ear bud out when it came to listening to music.
When I was in college, they always told us to NEVER walk around campus alone after dark.
Kudos to that one guy who realised they were being problematic
The information about the bumper sticker is actually really interesting. I can figure out a lot about a driver based on how they decorate their car. My grandpa had a sticker that he got from my middle school. It's scary to think that someone could have used that information and find my school when I was a kid.
Alternatively, no one messes with my mom's car. Every time someone graduates from boot camp, she slaps a window sticker saying she's a proud aunt/mom of that particular branch. Lots of Marine stickers on that window. So, it tells criminals that a woman may approach that car, but there's an even higher risk of a Marine walking with that woman.
…or that she’s a bad a.. Marine herself!
@@Are_We_Having_Tea Very true! She once told me she could have joined the Air Force had she not had my sister. This was during a time when women weren't typically being accepted into that branch at the same ranking as men. She would have made one scary Marine officer.
Let's people know there is a good chance, that the serviceperson is living away at a base or deployed and not at home.
Especially don't put political or "opinionated" stickers on your car, because someone WILL take offense! There's a social worker at our local county welfare office who had a "Bernie" sticker on her car in 2015. Someone busted out a window, poured gasoline in the front seat and set it on fire, destroying her car.
When I bought my car it had a licence frame with the San Francisco 49er's sports team logo. I covered it immediately because even that could invite trouble!
Lol my car stickers would probably just make them avoid me, they wouldn't be able to tell my gender or even anything about me, I have a hail Satan sticker and I'm not even religious 😂
the 11 year old that survived his moms addition is a hero! Bumper stickers are dead giveaways. !!
I’m 41 years old but I swear that’s going to be my new shutdown line from now until forever 😂 “sir, I’m a minor!!”
It will makes you seem unhinged, and it actually might be an even better deterent for the guy.
SAME 😂❤
Great tips! Thought I would add a couple. If you are a girl or woman and you feel like you are being followed, watched, etc., don't hesitate to go up to other girls or women and strike up a conversation. You can pretend that you know them, compliment something about them, or ask for directions, and if the person following is out of earshot, you can verbally ask for help, or if you can't do that, try to whisper or mouth it, or use hand gestures, convey with your eyes, etc. I have yet to meet a woman who wouldn't help another in that situation, and I swear that we women have our own spidey sense when it comes to reading each other and sensing if something is wrong. My other tip is to carry self defense items, and casually show them if you sense someone dangerous. I keep spiked brass knuckles in a top pocket of my purse, and a knife in my boot in the winter, and on my hip in the summer. Anytime someone is making me uncomfortable in a potential danger way, I act like I am adjusting my clothing or stretching, and make sure my weapon is visible to them. Most predators want an easy target, not someone who will give them the fight of their life. Stay safe! 💛
Fucking yes sister. We got to have each others backs cuz no one else will. I’m waiting to get my concealed license!
@@magnarcreed3801 Glad you are getting that! It isn't required in the state I live in, but I would get it too if required. I finally got a little Derringer and a little Barretta last year; just need to get thigh holsters for each. 😉