To summarize: All the anxiety you feel about your relationship stems from a desire to make the relationship secure - to find a way to hold onto it and prevent it from disappearing. If you observe your anxious thoughts you will also find this to be true. They all crave security. Rupert’s answer is so wise because he says “nothing is secure, not even your relationship.” And if you truly can grasp this, your anxiety will diminish because it’s only purpose was to find security where you now deeply realize there is nor ever will be any. And now you are free to truly enjoy and appreciate that person because your mind isn’t cluttered by anxiety trying to hold onto them forever. There is just joy and gratitude in what is temporary.
"The Wisdom of Insecurity," a book by Alan Watts , points to the same truth. The Buddhist insight about 'impermanence" is another way of exploring this.
so weird ive had this book on my list to read for a while, had only ever saw one person suggest it somewhere random online. i finally read it like 2 weeks ago and now i see your comment lol
My answer would be to invest your happiness, security etc into yourself, because your the only true person who you can rely upon. Do this and you'll stop being insecure about everything in your life, insecurity comes from deep within the soul and is relished upon anything your afraid of losing.
I am so glad I stumbled on this. I can recognize that I am putting so much pressure on my relationship. After years of deceit in my past relationship but being with someone who is very trust worthy and trusting now, I still struggle with terrible thought loops. This warmed my heart and helped me release some pain.
Update: unfortunately he was a dangerous person to myself and my kids. What we need to do is listen to our intuition and internal voice trusting ourselves and loving ourselves overall. Dont ignore the loops! They mean something needs dealt with, in yourself or reality.❤
I finally feel at peace after 2 years of searching for an answer after watching this… it all makes sense now. I came close the realizing this but I was fighting it. My heartfelt thanks.
Coming back after a while. This video has indeed changed my life. I learned to stop suffocating myself with so much pressure. I realized thanks to this video to finally let go even though I knew that’s what I had to do I came to the needed realization that there was no other way. I will forever be grateful for your teaching that shook me at the core and freed me. Thank you sounds cheap at this point… it’s more like you helped me find myself again and freed me and gave me back my life.
One of the biggest truths I’ve ever listened to . NOTHING is secure. It’s a semi painful realization but the portal to peace and TRUE/ LASTING happiness.
If we go that road it never ends. Then they also got theirs from their parents etc. Another way is to ( when ready ofc) drop that psychological lens and connect with openness. It has much more yet in many less words to say.
I’m in a long distance relationship with a Chinese woman who won’t let me see her since we started texting 4 months ago. She won’t tell me why but there is so much misogyny in this country who would trust an American male? She finally relented and we are supposed to meet soon. I have endured periods when I’m depressed, fearful and angry, causing intense suffering. Listening to this video I realize I’m holding her responsible for my happiness! There are long periods when I don’t hear from her and thoughts of jealousy and suspicion obsess me. But as he says, she can’t make me happy. No one can make me happy. I have glimpses of the freedom I feel when I experience letting go but it is hard not to attach to the idea of her. In this video, Rupert Spira defined why I feel the suffering of excessive attachment. It takes practice but at least I see a way out of this dilemma now and for that I am grateful.
American men are the least misogynistic. Chinese men are way more. If this woman is a poor communicator and can’t offer you stable attention, you are better off moving on. You don’t need to put up with someone who is not consistently available. This basic requirement has nothing to do with how insecure you are. That is a separate issue.
My very best wishes...I am in a rehearsing period myself, having a long distance relationship...Listen to this every Day in order to not investing my identitet and happinness in it....I must invest in me !!!❤
Facts... the way he broke it down. Made it so much sense. I feel so much better now. To truly understand that the only secure thing in my life, is myself.
His teaching is a pointer! It didnt get answered but he talks about and points her to it, the only element in your experience that doesnt change is you, Aware being , presence, that which cannot be named etc.
Lahiru Paranamana ... that which is aware. the only element that has been constant throughout your entire life. Awareness. Consciousness. that which is aware of all phenomena, as well as it’s Self. it is aware of the mind, yet the mind cannot know it. it is aware of the body, yet the body can’t sense it. you are that Awareness.
I'm so happy I came across this video. It truly changed my whole perspective on life. I find it very liberating. And I've always thought that everyone lives their own life, so live your own. You can't expect people to live their life according to your expectations to keep us happy and secure.
Thank you. This is most hopeful. I've been doing this for months now and Im driving myself crazy. I have the sweetest most wonderful man and its like such a dream to have him in my life it scares me half to death. So thank you.
Insecurity is an intuition. It's not about that the relationship comes to an end, it's much deeper: nothing in your life is reliable. Face that! It's the innate knowledge. (If we invest our happiness in an object, teacher, relationship, know that's the insecure) The cure is... To find out if there's something in your life that is secure. Is there?
the problem with insecurity in relationships goes back to childhood issues. those primal trauma emotions are stuck in my body and magnifying insecurity in the present. so you can think you are 'awareness' or buddha all day....but you've got to resolve the pain from the past to feel good.
I was abandoned by my alcoholic parents when I was 11, along with my 5 younger siblings. I became an alcoholic myself and now I'm sober at 78. I wonder if it's possible to deal with such a deep seated, entrenched ego that suffers from anxiety, anger and rage.
Even though we shouldn't invest in the external things of this world. We still have to live here and may aswell enjoy whats here from a more detached place. That's if an individual has developed the ability to be able to let things go.
How High Can You Fly yes indeed. I find that in especially advaita and vedanta traditions, that there is a general tendency, to neglect the sense based world, which to me is not spiritual at all. True spirituality is actually the opposite, to be able to be thrown into the world and encounter it. Let us drink the world's wine, but don't get drunk.
Exactly. Some in their spirituality journey, want to avoid everything external, because it isnt true happiness, but then you are avoiding and thats not freedom. Freedom is when you found the source of happiness = awareness itself, and then you can do anything you want, just as long as you dont mistake the external object for the source of happiness, you will flow with life and have nothing to hold on to
@@phillip3548 Please state specific Advaita vedanta sources where it says to neglect the outside world. Rupert never said that we should neglect the outside world (that is not non-dual understanding!), in fact if you watch his videos you will see a fuller picture of the teaching rather than a 2 dimensional image. Spirituality is very much about embodying and living the truth here in this life and all true non-dual teachings say this. "The world is illusion, only Brahman is real. The World is Brahman." The last line is what people who quit life ignore. Rupert as well as other non-dual teachers are very clear that one should find their purpose and action in the world- and express one's truth in the world. No Advaita vedanta teachings I have come across teach us to neglect the outside world.
this really helps. i have good days and bad days when it comes to the thoughts on my relationship with the person i am with. i need stabilization and this helps a TON
I've watched this video many times, I'm currently struggling with this. I love him so much hes so beautiful we are long distance currently and I hate to think he could be with another female.
Brilliant ~ and particularly the reference to "knowing" and the inadequacy of language to describe ~ thank you for sharing your wisdom (and presence) with us!
Consciousness, Awareness, Attention, are at the Gist of who we are. So we have different Teachers (Tolle, Thich Nhat Hanh, etc.) teaching apparently different things in their own way, but in the end they are all "forced" to address the same Big Subject, at the core of our "I." His suggestion is: turn your Attention Inwards toward your own "I." Invest your time in SELF-knowledge. It's the only thing we truly have: the I, the Self. This is immensely rich, rewarding and....realistic!
beautifully said, Rupert -- though I can't help wondering: why burden a "truly intimate loving friendship" with the social / legal /religious institutional strictures of a formal marriage vow? What's that all about? Keeping it defined (if we must define it) as friendship just seems more in alignment with the Truth you've expressed.
Maya Illusion You yourself have established that this is a false reason when considered within the context of Rupert's words. Hence Elizabeth's question..
Help me understand - what should we invest our happiness, security and identity? Oneself? The lady asking the question nor Rupert explained what that immutable thing was...
I think it might be different for everyone. If you're an artist, it could be your art. Or maybe you have unshakable faith in humanity as a whole. Or maybe you believe in yourself more than anything. I think that what he's referring to is what people commonly call a "ground" - the calling of your life, if you will. Some people will swear that love is the answer to everything. Others will say "nature" or "God". I think that you have to find your own answer. For example, when he said that, the first thing that came to my mind was "death". The one reliable thing, the one thing I can't question, the one thing that will undoubtedly happen is that I am going to die. One day, my life will end and that'll be that. People will say "she was this" or "she was that" and there won't be anything to add to it. In essence, my life is a story that I'm constantly writing. Therefore, I have to make sure that I write a good story. Uninteresting characters or arks must be cut out. I, as a character, must grow and progress. I can't change the world I revolve in, but I can change my own narrative. That's my truth, my ground, and from that comes the rest. Does that make sense? :)
Given this is Rupert Spira, I assume he is referring to the one element of experience that never changes - your awareness of it. Fall in love with that awareness, that mysterious knowing that shines within you and illuminates all that appears in your life and that gives rise to all appearances, whether they be good, bad, beautiful or ugly. All appearances come and go but your knowing of them never dies. It’s hard to grasp because it is not objective but it is formless, mysterious and profound and the miracle of your life and existence depends on it. Invest your happiness in that and you will find you no longer worry so much what arises in the world of appearances. That is true peace.
What never changes? awareness, thats you. Identifying with something is to invest your security in it. Awareness is the same before, during and after a relationship. That which is never affected by the relationship is you, the witness, the perceiver, the knower. Be knowingly this knower/witness who is unaffected by the changing experience of a relationship. When you see clearly who you are, awareness, and not the body/mind who is experiencing a relationship you will feel free of the need to control who comes in and out of your life.
You are the observer having an experience in a human nervous system. The experience you are having is taking place in you. You are not the experience. Your body is an experience, a construct, and so is anything you observe.
Rupert. How can I know if what I'm doing or trying to do in my observations/meditations/etc is influencied by thoughts? In other words, how can I know if what I'm doing its genuine or an egoic desire? Thank you so much.
zktube : I’m surprised nobody in 3 years responded to your inquiry. It’s very simple: if you let your thoughts ( where the ego resides) come and go without reacting in any way to any thought then you are slowly but certainly ridding yourself of the egoic self. It’s a process. Robert Adams states it clearly: “"Practice this right now. Allow the thoughts to come, whatever they are. Do absolutely nothing. It makes no difference what the thoughts are. Let them come, no matter how much they seem to frighten you, no matter how powerful they appear to be, let them come. Where do the thoughts come from to begin with? They come from nowhere. They do not come from consciousness. They do not come from pure awareness. They do not come from the Self. Where do the thoughts come from? From nowhere. They're an optical illusion. They do not exist. They're like the appearance of the sky on top of the mountain. The sky appears to be resting on top of the mountain, but it's an optical illusion. Thoughts do not exist, whatsoever. Therefore you ask yourself: "Who's thinking?" and you will find out, the ego is thinking. So here's another point. When the thoughts slow down, so does the ego. The thoughts and the ego are synonymous. As the thoughts slow down, the ego slows down, and begins to also disappear with the thoughts. When there are no thoughts, there's no ego. When there's no ego, there's nobody left to think. Then the question you will ask is: "How do I function without thinking?" The sage's thoughts are like a burnt rope. They appear to be real, but they're not. In other words, your thoughts are not real. They are false. How do you function without thoughts? Very well, thank you. Many of you still believe you have to have thoughts to function. You think you'll become a vegetable, but you will be spontaneous without thoughts. You'll be motivated by the Self. You will know what to do, where to go, whom to speak to, whom not to speak to, much better than you do now, much, much better. Things will happen to you spontaneously.” Robert Adams Meher Baba also states that mind must be destroyed before the Real Ego (Real I) can prevail . Also by Meher Baba: Mind wants to know that which is beyond mind. To know that which is beyond mind, mind must go-vanish, leaving no vestige of itself behind. The humour of it is, the mind, which is finite, wants to retain itself and yet know Truth, which is infinite. This is the position of those who seek Truth through intellect. Few grasp this fact, and so most grope and grapple in vain. -Meher Baba Hope this was helpful.
I wish you ppl talk more abt this, bcs through my life, I had many phases, I have cured myself from many things but it was difficult for me listenig phrases what to do. Younger ppl need explanations and exemples.
"If you free a relationship from the impossible demand of being something that he can never be that would give your relationship the best possible chance of being what you truly wanted to be which is truly loving and intimate" these phrase really struck me at the bottom of my heart coz I'm definitely guilty from this. Sometimes I demand my boyfriend that he will do this and that, that this is the right thing that he will and should do. And I have this insecurity because he does have past relationships b4 I came in his life and he is not that being honest about it. Like he wanted me to know only what I should know about his past. He doesn't want me to know everything about his past. He told me past is past and that I am his present now and his future. I told him if only I am the only woman in his life. But I am not. 😭😭😭❤❤❤
Omg I needed this. But I’m kinda confused. What is he saying to believe in that is unchangeable? Bc even we as humans let ourselves down, make dumb decisions, act untrustworthy. The only unchanging person or object is God. This is what I got from it. And honestly, that is what I should’ve done. I hate that I get so insecure in relationships. Trying to make them be what I think they should be. Ugh ! This is so eye opening to me! I think God led me to this video bc I recently lost my relationship to insecurities. I am healed in Jesus name 🙏🏼❤️
Me ruining a great running relationship with insecurities that TBH she didn't create. So annoyed that it's pushed her away and it's creating even more insecurity. She doesn't wanna break up at all. Just wants time to get over issues and here I am just adding more problems.
5:10 ( God ) the only thing you can trust he’ll never do anything to hurt you he’ll always have your best interest and be with you through all the good and bad decisions you make and still love you the same and forgive you the same. Not one person can give that to you not even yourself.
I wouldn’t say that God wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. My girlfriend just lost her 25 old daughter yesterday to a blood clot. If that doesn’t hurt, then there’s something wrong with you.
So basically do not get into a relationship because there is not much other reasons other then stability and security especially for women......for me it's sex and comfort and the problem is attachment once we like the person, we get dopamine and seretonin so it is a multi layered thing here
Yeah its painful to face that nothing, person or situation can give us security. We are used to seek out of us for ages and ages and have something changed? We are afraid to Wake up from The dream and realize we are not what we thought...who am I? Am I aware?
for me the thing that never fails me and I know 100% is me. your own uniqueness. for me it's the knowing that even though things change in my life a new job, home, whatever the thing that stays consistent is me. I have faith that I can survive whatever life throws at me in my own way.
Jared Maliga Cedar I found profound peace once in a peak experience. I would call it about the exact opposite of emptiness. It was being in everything and everything being in me and knowing on a deep level that it was all good. Emptiness is emptiness.
i struggle a lot with my partner having female friends, it stems from being cheated on and not having good friendships with females as well as a bad relationship with my mum. im trying to fix it for him but i dont know how. if anyone could help id be grateful
What If I cant get the feeling that my gf is cheating on me out of my head. Even though she is a really good girl and probably wouldnt do that to me, even then what if I couldnt get it out of my head. Am I too involved in the relationship and need to detach from it and center my happiness elsewhere or is this a "me" problem where I need to look within?
when i heard the question i sas like dear God .and yes i do pretty much the same exact thg . sabotage the relationship or give up the chance to have one becoz i (think) know what would happen. it (they) re going to let me down.why investing in a relationship that's doomed to fail instead of being at peace with myself.then I won't have to go through the betrayal, the disappointment of someone not being there when needed . and u re correct.i have the same problem in other areas in my life as well
Malika Ait but then youre missing out on what God intended for you as an adult we are built for relationships and intimacy. Think about your ideal relationship what you want from it and what you want to give and hold onto the thought make it a goal and work towards it by working on yourself so you can be everything you need to be for your spouse and for the relationship
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To summarize:
All the anxiety you feel about your relationship stems from a desire to make the relationship secure - to find a way to hold onto it and prevent it from disappearing. If you observe your anxious thoughts you will also find this to be true. They all crave security. Rupert’s answer is so wise because he says “nothing is secure, not even your relationship.” And if you truly can grasp this, your anxiety will diminish because it’s only purpose was to find security where you now deeply realize there is nor ever will be any. And now you are free to truly enjoy and appreciate that person because your mind isn’t cluttered by anxiety trying to hold onto them forever. There is just joy and gratitude in what is temporary.
Lovely summary
@Sound City,
So beautifully summarised - much appreciated ❤
This man cleared my anxiety faster than my mom does dishes
Haha
Thank you for your very funny reply! My laugh for the day.
🤣🤣🤣
😄
hahahahah same
that flower arrangement
I'm a florist and yeah that instantly caught my eye, it's beautiful.!!!
Its got some gangster lean to it
@@stephenjemyers hahahah
"The Wisdom of Insecurity," a book by Alan Watts , points to the same truth. The Buddhist insight about 'impermanence" is another way of exploring this.
so weird ive had this book on my list to read for a while, had only ever saw one person suggest it somewhere random online. i finally read it like 2 weeks ago and now i see your comment lol
@@ramen4297 attached to nothing, connected to everything...also no such things as coincidences
My answer would be to invest your happiness, security etc into yourself, because your the only true person who you can rely upon. Do this and you'll stop being insecure about everything in your life, insecurity comes from deep within the soul and is relished upon anything your afraid of losing.
I think this is my answer to the same question. Personally, how would you go about investing your security/happiness in yourself?
Blake Escobar build character, that can't be shaken by anything in this world.
Hey thank you very much!!!
'Self' rather than 'self'
Very true.. But how though do we begin?
I am so glad I stumbled on this. I can recognize that I am putting so much pressure on my relationship. After years of deceit in my past relationship but being with someone who is very trust worthy and trusting now, I still struggle with terrible thought loops. This warmed my heart and helped me release some pain.
Same with me. It's not easy, but we have to get this concept or we will ruin our relationship we have now. A self fulling prophecy. Be well.
Same here. I love you 🤗💕
You are enough
Update: unfortunately he was a dangerous person to myself and my kids. What we need to do is listen to our intuition and internal voice trusting ourselves and loving ourselves overall. Dont ignore the loops! They mean something needs dealt with, in yourself or reality.❤
@@stillspark maybe its time to find a better type of loop x
2 people showing up with this innate truth is what I call a divine union. So beautifully said Rupert.
I finally feel at peace after 2 years of searching for an answer after watching this… it all makes sense now. I came close the realizing this but I was fighting it. My heartfelt thanks.
Coming back after a while. This video has indeed changed my life. I learned to stop suffocating myself with so much pressure. I realized thanks to this video to finally let go even though I knew that’s what I had to do I came to the needed realization that there was no other way. I will forever be grateful for your teaching that shook me at the core and freed me. Thank you sounds cheap at this point… it’s more like you helped me find myself again and freed me and gave me back my life.
One of the biggest truths I’ve ever listened to . NOTHING is secure. It’s a semi painful realization but the portal to peace and TRUE/ LASTING happiness.
Insecurity, fear in relationships. All these things come childhood and our attachment style to our parents.
Can be any number of important relationships in childhood. Dont always need to be a parent . Childhood is just bloody traumatic
Jason Gafar: Your version of thinking gas nothing to do with what Rupert is saying. You missed the whole point. This is not a game of mind psychology.
If we go that road it never ends. Then they also got theirs from their parents etc. Another way is to ( when ready ofc) drop that psychological lens and connect with openness. It has much more yet in many less words to say.
His voice is so calming. One of the most sensible videos i have come across
I’m in a long distance relationship with a Chinese woman who won’t let me see her since we started texting 4 months ago. She won’t tell me why but there is so much misogyny in this country who would trust an American male? She finally relented and we are supposed to meet soon. I have endured periods when I’m depressed, fearful and angry, causing intense suffering. Listening to this video I realize I’m holding her responsible for my happiness! There are long periods when I don’t hear from her and thoughts of jealousy and suspicion obsess me. But as he says, she can’t make me happy. No one can make me happy. I have glimpses of the freedom I feel when I experience letting go but it is hard not to attach to the idea of her. In this video, Rupert Spira defined why I feel the suffering of excessive attachment. It takes practice but at least I see a way out of this dilemma now and for that I am grateful.
American men are the least misogynistic. Chinese men are way more. If this woman is a poor communicator and can’t offer you stable attention, you are better off moving on. You don’t need to put up with someone who is not consistently available. This basic requirement has nothing to do with how insecure you are. That is a separate issue.
My very best wishes...I am in a rehearsing period myself, having a long distance relationship...Listen to this every Day in order to not investing my identitet and happinness in it....I must invest in me !!!❤
"Discover in yourself what is truly secure."
This is the best video on this subject I have yet to see!
agreed
Facts... the way he broke it down. Made it so much sense. I feel so much better now. To truly understand that the only secure thing in my life, is myself.
Help me understand - what should we invest our happiness, security and identity? Oneself?
His teaching is a pointer! It didnt get answered but he talks about and points her to
it, the only element in your experience that doesnt change is you, Aware being , presence,
that which cannot be named etc.
Lahiru Paranamana ... that which is aware. the only element that has been constant throughout your entire life. Awareness. Consciousness. that which is aware of all phenomena, as well as it’s Self. it is aware of the mind, yet the mind cannot know it. it is aware of the body, yet the body can’t sense it. you are that Awareness.
I'm so happy I came across this video. It truly changed my whole perspective on life. I find it very liberating. And I've always thought that everyone lives their own life, so live your own. You can't expect people to live their life according to your expectations to keep us happy and secure.
That girl has a beautiful voice.
Wish she could speak slower😂😂😂
Great answer. Just admit that everything conditional is insecure. Seems so obvious.
Thank you. This is most hopeful. I've been doing this for months now and Im driving myself crazy. I have the sweetest most wonderful man and its like such a dream to have him in my life it scares me half to death. So thank you.
Same happened to me 😅
This is exactly what I needed in this present moment 🙏
Insecurity is an intuition. It's not about that the relationship comes to an end, it's much deeper: nothing in your life is reliable. Face that! It's the innate knowledge.
(If we invest our happiness in an object, teacher, relationship, know that's the insecure)
The cure is...
To find out if there's something in your life that is secure. Is there?
What?? What is secure???
Yes absolutely true. We do have to be okay knowing ourselves. Listening to silence and hearing our thoughts, feeling the feels.
The only thing that is secure is the only thing that exists: the ever-present awareness.
@@charlotte5671 your true self. Awareness.
the problem with insecurity in relationships goes back to childhood issues. those primal trauma emotions are stuck in my body and magnifying insecurity in the present. so you can think you are 'awareness' or buddha all day....but you've got to resolve the pain from the past to feel good.
that's what i'm thinking
I was abandoned by my alcoholic parents when I was 11, along with my 5 younger siblings. I became an alcoholic myself and now I'm sober at 78. I wonder if it's possible to deal with such a deep seated, entrenched ego that suffers from anxiety, anger and rage.
This is so true.
And not until this partbofnour life is resolved then and only then one will feel . Security.
@@Chopin1397it is possible for sure. You expirienced that your life situation got better, right? So yes, it is possible
by the way the answer to what is truly secure is, of course, yourself
Not "yourself" but "Yourself", as you, in your current form, will also not last. :-)
This has really made me think. Really dig deep down. Wow.
His voice is so soothing. Thank you I needed this. I wish I could speak like this all the time.
Even though we shouldn't invest in the external things of this world. We still have to live here and may aswell enjoy whats here from a more detached place. That's if an individual has developed the ability to be able to let things go.
How High Can You Fly yes indeed. I find that in especially advaita and vedanta traditions, that there is a general tendency, to neglect the sense based world, which to me is not spiritual at all. True spirituality is actually the opposite, to be able to be thrown into the world and encounter it.
Let us drink the world's wine, but don't get drunk.
Exactly. Some in their spirituality journey, want to avoid everything external, because it isnt true happiness, but then you are avoiding and thats not freedom. Freedom is when you found the source of happiness = awareness itself, and then you can do anything you want, just as long as you dont mistake the external object for the source of happiness, you will flow with life and have nothing to hold on to
@@phillip3548 Please state specific Advaita vedanta sources where it says to neglect the outside world. Rupert never said that we should neglect the outside world (that is not non-dual understanding!), in fact if you watch his videos you will see a fuller picture of the teaching rather than a 2 dimensional image. Spirituality is very much about embodying and living the truth here in this life and all true non-dual teachings say this. "The world is illusion, only Brahman is real. The World is Brahman." The last line is what people who quit life ignore. Rupert as well as other non-dual teachers are very clear that one should find their purpose and action in the world- and express one's truth in the world. No Advaita vedanta teachings I have come across teach us to neglect the outside world.
Amen bro!!!
Amazing comment, detached is the word that resonates with me, because I let myself get attached like a fool.
This was such a liberating awnser for me. Brilliant, thank you
This is definitely the most painful but most important lesson to learn! Thank you so so much for your teachings ❤️❤️❤️
i love this video.
i've learnt alot from watching ruperts videos.
its hard being in any relationship nowadays.
i agree invest in yourself and grow.
Amazingly clear. Easier said than done though.
This made me cry, in a good way. So simple and true.
This beautiful soul is here to give us HUGE Life advices! Is Anyone else in here who feels like God shines through him when he speaks?
How does he know this stuff? He’s right! I have yet to hear him say something that I know to be wrong! Brilliant!
this really helps. i have good days and bad days when it comes to the thoughts on my relationship with the person i am with. i need stabilization and this helps a TON
I've watched this video many times, I'm currently struggling with this. I love him so much hes so beautiful we are long distance currently and I hate to think he could be with another female.
Girl me too
Long distance relationships don’t work. And we don’t control or own others. They’re on their own journey. Hope you found happiness and peace
Brilliant ~ and particularly the reference to "knowing" and the inadequacy of language to describe ~ thank you for sharing your wisdom (and presence) with us!
Consciousness, Awareness, Attention, are at the Gist of who we are. So we have different Teachers (Tolle, Thich Nhat Hanh, etc.) teaching apparently different things in their own way, but in the end they are all "forced" to address the same Big Subject, at the core of our "I." His suggestion is: turn your Attention Inwards toward your own "I." Invest your time in SELF-knowledge.
It's the only thing we truly have: the I, the Self. This is immensely rich, rewarding and....realistic!
Invest in yourself! You can't let yourself down. Fill up your cup!
Thank you Rupert. You always find the root of every question. Thank you expressing Consciousness to the world; thus healing the world
Rupert is amazing. Thanks for the reminder. Safety is within
No matter what, "I AM"
when this video I was like WTF but damn, it's so true
beautifully said, Rupert -- though I can't help wondering: why burden a "truly intimate loving friendship" with the social / legal /religious institutional strictures of a formal marriage vow? What's that all about? Keeping it defined (if we must define it) as friendship just seems more in alignment with the Truth you've expressed.
Maya Illusion You yourself have established that this is a false reason when considered within the context of Rupert's words. Hence Elizabeth's question..
I’ve watched many videos about this topic and this is the best one
wow. super powerful. thank you thank you Rupert!
Help me understand - what should we invest our happiness, security and identity? Oneself?
The lady asking the question nor Rupert explained what that immutable thing was...
I think it might be different for everyone. If you're an artist, it could be your art. Or maybe you have unshakable faith in humanity as a whole. Or maybe you believe in yourself more than anything. I think that what he's referring to is what people commonly call a "ground" - the calling of your life, if you will. Some people will swear that love is the answer to everything. Others will say "nature" or "God". I think that you have to find your own answer.
For example, when he said that, the first thing that came to my mind was "death". The one reliable thing, the one thing I can't question, the one thing that will undoubtedly happen is that I am going to die. One day, my life will end and that'll be that. People will say "she was this" or "she was that" and there won't be anything to add to it.
In essence, my life is a story that I'm constantly writing.
Therefore, I have to make sure that I write a good story. Uninteresting characters or arks must be cut out. I, as a character, must grow and progress. I can't change the world I revolve in, but I can change my own narrative. That's my truth, my ground, and from that comes the rest.
Does that make sense? :)
Given this is Rupert Spira, I assume he is referring to the one element of experience that never changes - your awareness of it. Fall in love with that awareness, that mysterious knowing that shines within you and illuminates all that appears in your life and that gives rise to all appearances, whether they be good, bad, beautiful or ugly. All appearances come and go but your knowing of them never dies. It’s hard to grasp because it is not objective but it is formless, mysterious and profound and the miracle of your life and existence depends on it. Invest your happiness in that and you will find you no longer worry so much what arises in the world of appearances. That is true peace.
What never changes? awareness, thats you. Identifying with something is to invest your security in it. Awareness is the same before, during and after a relationship. That which is never affected by the relationship is you, the witness, the perceiver, the knower. Be knowingly this knower/witness who is unaffected by the changing experience of a relationship. When you see clearly who you are, awareness, and not the body/mind who is experiencing a relationship you will feel free of the need to control who comes in and out of your life.
You are the observer having an experience in a human nervous system. The experience you are having is taking place in you. You are not the experience. Your body is an experience, a construct, and so is anything you observe.
God thank you for your unconditional Love.💕
Thank you, thank you for this one Rupert! Hi from Colombia.
This is so beautiful. Thank you.
Thank you for your question. I am not alone.
So many succinctly powerful yet gentle and profound pointers to the truth!!!
Rupert. How can I know if what I'm doing or trying to do in my observations/meditations/etc is influencied by thoughts? In other words, how can I know if what I'm doing its genuine or an egoic desire? Thank you so much.
zktube : I’m surprised nobody in 3 years responded to your inquiry.
It’s very simple: if you let your thoughts ( where the ego resides) come and go without reacting in any way to any thought then you are slowly but certainly ridding yourself of the egoic self. It’s a process. Robert Adams states it clearly:
“"Practice this right now. Allow the thoughts to come, whatever they are. Do absolutely nothing. It makes no difference what the thoughts are. Let them come, no matter how much they seem to frighten you, no matter how powerful they appear to be, let them come.
Where do the thoughts come from to begin with? They come from nowhere. They do not come from consciousness. They do not come from pure awareness. They do not come from the Self. Where do the thoughts come from? From nowhere. They're an optical illusion. They do not exist.
They're like the appearance of the sky on top of the mountain. The sky appears to be resting on top of the mountain, but it's an optical illusion. Thoughts do not exist, whatsoever.
Therefore you ask yourself: "Who's thinking?" and you will find out, the ego is thinking.
So here's another point. When the thoughts slow down, so does the ego. The thoughts and the ego are synonymous. As the thoughts slow down, the ego slows down, and begins to also disappear with the thoughts. When there are no thoughts, there's no ego. When there's no ego, there's nobody left to think.
Then the question you will ask is: "How do I function without thinking?" The sage's thoughts are like a burnt rope. They appear to be real, but they're not. In other words, your thoughts are not real. They are false.
How do you function without thoughts? Very well, thank you.
Many of you still believe you have to have thoughts to function. You think you'll become a vegetable, but you will be spontaneous without thoughts. You'll be motivated by the Self. You will know what to do, where to go, whom to speak to, whom not to speak to, much better than you do now, much, much better. Things will happen to you spontaneously.”
Robert Adams
Meher Baba also states that mind must be destroyed before the Real Ego (Real I) can prevail . Also by Meher Baba:
Mind wants to know that which is beyond mind. To know that
which is beyond mind, mind must go-vanish, leaving no vestige
of itself behind. The humour of it is, the mind, which is finite,
wants to retain itself and yet know Truth, which is infinite. This is
the position of those who seek Truth through intellect. Few grasp
this fact, and so most grope and grapple in vain.
-Meher Baba
Hope this was helpful.
So true! Thanks, Rupert
Thank you so much for this video, Mr. Spira
I wish you ppl talk more abt this, bcs through my life, I had many phases, I have cured myself from many things but it was difficult for me listenig phrases what to do.
Younger ppl need explanations and exemples.
Magnificent insight.
Very wise Rupert!!! 🙏🏻
This is an absolute blessing ! Thank you so much.. feel so much better
i really miss the fullsessions...can you please upload again ? Thank you
"If you free a relationship from the impossible demand of being something that he can never be that would give your relationship the best possible chance of being what you truly wanted to be which is truly loving and intimate" these phrase really struck me at the bottom of my heart coz I'm definitely guilty from this. Sometimes I demand my boyfriend that he will do this and that, that this is the right thing that he will and should do. And I have this insecurity because he does have past relationships b4 I came in his life and he is not that being honest about it. Like he wanted me to know only what I should know about his past. He doesn't want me to know everything about his past. He told me past is past and that I am his present now and his future. I told him if only I am the only woman in his life. But I am not. 😭😭😭❤❤❤
Omg I needed this. But I’m kinda confused. What is he saying to believe in that is unchangeable? Bc even we as humans let ourselves down, make dumb decisions, act untrustworthy. The only unchanging person or object is God. This is what I got from it. And honestly, that is what I should’ve done. I hate that I get so insecure in relationships. Trying to make them be what I think they should be. Ugh ! This is so eye opening to me! I think God led me to this video bc I recently lost my relationship to insecurities. I am healed in Jesus name 🙏🏼❤️
Me ruining a great running relationship with insecurities that TBH she didn't create. So annoyed that it's pushed her away and it's creating even more insecurity. She doesn't wanna break up at all. Just wants time to get over issues and here I am just adding more problems.
Such wise words. Thank you
Thank you Rupert.
Thank you very much. Needed to hear that
I laughed so much when he started to answer this question.
Really nice video! I loved it. However, I need to talk to this lady who is displaying her problem to the speaker in the video.
farooque memon lol
WoW. I finally understand
5:10 ( God ) the only thing you can trust he’ll never do anything to hurt you he’ll always have your best interest and be with you through all the good and bad decisions you make and still love you the same and forgive you the same. Not one person can give that to you not even yourself.
God is presence.
You're right. Sometimes we really beat our selves up for making mistakes.
@@jahrassicsound312 😒
I wouldn’t say that God wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. My girlfriend just lost her 25 old daughter yesterday to a blood clot. If that doesn’t hurt, then there’s something wrong with you.
Is there a place for asking for boundries from the other person in a relationship?
So basically do not get into a relationship because there is not much other reasons other then stability and security especially for women......for me it's sex and comfort and the problem is attachment once we like the person, we get dopamine and seretonin so it is a multi layered thing here
This is really good, thank you!
Waw that was actually amazing
"Don't Build your home in other people" Najwa Z.
Thank you Soo much!!!!
This is just what I needed
❤❤❤
Yeah its painful to face that nothing, person or situation can give us security. We are used to seek out of us for ages and ages and have something changed? We are afraid to Wake up from The dream and realize we are not what we thought...who am I? Am I aware?
Thought talk, intuition don't. You're welcome
“Security in Variegation”’ “Al Tamkin Fil Talvin” -Ibn Arabi
And if that didn't fill you with a deep joy nothing will beautiful
What is the thing that never fails me???????? Give me a hint please.
for me the thing that never fails me and I know 100% is me. your own uniqueness. for me it's the knowing that even though things change in my life a new job, home, whatever the thing that stays consistent is me. I have faith that I can survive whatever life throws at me in my own way.
+Jake Miller The peace you find in emptiness.
Jared Maliga Cedar I found profound peace once in a peak experience. I would call it about the exact opposite of emptiness. It was being in everything and everything being in me and knowing on a deep level that it was all good. Emptiness is emptiness.
+Jake Miller Fullness is an aspect of emptiness. You are nothing when you look in, and everything when you look out.
Tom Bayley--Beautifully Said! Deeper understanding is simply expressed...
i struggle a lot with my partner having female friends, it stems from being cheated on and not having good friendships with females as well as a bad relationship with my mum. im trying to fix it for him but i dont know how. if anyone could help id be grateful
Thank you 🙏🏻
Flowers 🌺 Rupert 💚
What If I cant get the feeling that my gf is cheating on me out of my head. Even though she is a really good girl and probably wouldnt do that to me, even then what if I couldnt get it out of my head. Am I too involved in the relationship and need to detach from it and center my happiness elsewhere or is this a "me" problem where I need to look within?
Julien Gray Facing the same problem. Mind if you share how you dealt with it in the end?
Wish i could see the full video
When you witness the self there is nothing
investment in yourself is secure, its yours but the rest you can't control
I love this video!! ♥️😊
can someone please tell me or give me an example of something that is in fact secure?
Same question and what is so uncomfortable about insecurity, groundlessness and impermanence? That's the nature of things...
It can be yourself or if you believe in your creator
when i heard the question i sas like dear God .and yes i do pretty much the same exact thg . sabotage the relationship or give up the chance to have one becoz i (think) know what would happen. it (they) re going to let me down.why investing in a relationship that's doomed to fail instead of being at peace with myself.then I won't have to go through the betrayal, the disappointment of someone not being there when needed . and u re correct.i have the same problem in other areas in my life as well
Malika Ait but then youre missing out on what God intended for you as an adult we are built for relationships and intimacy. Think about your ideal relationship what you want from it and what you want to give and hold onto the thought make it a goal and work towards it by working on yourself so you can be everything you need to be for your spouse and for the relationship
anyone has working link to full video? one in description is down
So deep
So many questions about how to deal with the "story"? Missing the point?
so Rupert what is this thing in our lives that never lets us down lol?
Thank you
focus
Omg it's phil dunphy's smart doppelganger
5:12 - no there isn't :/ so what am I supposed to invest my idenity in too?
Wow he's good
What if we are insecure in life and nothing can truly feel secure and stable
Midiwave Productions thank you for this info