A Davy Crockett Christmas
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- Опубліковано 28 вер 2024
- #calltoarms #blackpantslegion #davycrockett
This is from the hotmod on Steam Workshop, set in 1968. We do not do a good job. Nukes for everyone!
Music is from EPIDEMIC SOUND at www.epidemicso...
OR Storyblocks at www.storyblocks.com
Tex: "Then we brought up the Crockett and won. There were no survivors."
War crimes judge: "You killed all of the enemy?"
Tex: "There were no survivors."
VA Case Worker: "The VA has determined that your claim of carcinoma is NOT service connected."
@@brad506th Just like the poor bastards who cleaned up the nuke testing sites in the Pacific.
In the Cold War an infantryman's lifehack is to glue popcorn kernels all over your helmet with half of them wrapped in aluminum foil. This lets you know if you are being illuminated by IR or radar, and the direction of the popped kernel tells from where.
I would love to hear the debriefing after the battle. "Let me see. Your report says you deployed nuclear ordnance because, and I quote, 'I thought I saw a guy hiding over there somewhere.'"
"Alright, when that tank come around the corner, shoot it."
"Sir this is a nuke?"
"Did I stutter Johnson? Use the nuke! Put your hands over your eyes. Don't worry we've issued you with a lead smok."
"Now to find out if Thyroid Cancer gets you a purple heart."
I'm dead. This killed me.
Fun fact:
You can sing Black Sabbath's 'War Pigs' to the tune of 'Deck the Halls' and vice versa.
Thanks, I hate it
'In the fields the bodies burning falalalala lala la la' is exactly as far as I got before laughing.
Wow, that fun fact makes me hate christmas just a little bit less. Thankyou!
That's deprarious. On a related note, you can also sing 'The Star-spangled Banner' to the tune of 'Meet the Flintstones.'
This knowledge has brought joy to my shriveled heart. Thank you.
It's Christmas at ground zero
There's music in the air
The sleigh bells are ringing and the carolers are singing
While the air raid sirens blare
It's Christmas at ground zero
The button has been pressed
The radio just let us know that this is not a test
Everywhere the atom bombs are dropping
It's the end of all humanity
No more time for last minute shopping
It's time to face your final destiny
It's Christmas at ground zero
There's panic in the crowd
We can dodge debris while trim the tree
Underneath the mushroom cloud
You might hear some reindeer on your rooftop
Or Jack Frost on your windowsill
But if someone's climbing down your chimney
You better load your gun and shoot to kill
Oh, it's Christmas at ground zero
And if the radiation level's OK
I'll go out with you and see all the new
Mutations on New Year's Day
It's Christmas at ground zero
Just seconds left to go
I'll duck and cover with my Yuletide lover
Underneath the mistletoe
It's Christmas at ground zero
Now the missiles are on their way
What a crazy fluke we're gonna get nuked
On this jolly holiday
What a crazy fluke we're gonna get nuked
On this jolly holiday
Listening to this AlSong in the car with the kids every day on the school ride.
I wonder if a certain musically-inclined goat will catch wind of this. That'd be cool.
@@David_Fellner Yes, Goat needs to cover this song.
May the Gods Bless Weird Al, one of America's True national treasures.
(Him&Dolly, everything else is pretty much Drek)
Have Fun&Post Dangerous
-Lakon Marketing Division, Keelback Office -'Only ship in the Galaxy to come equipped with a soul 😇'
Take these lyrics and use them in place of the ones from Holiday In Cambodia. You're welcome 😂
the fact the 1919 was still in service through ww2, Korea, and Vietnam is a testament to its design. Browning was a gun wizard. See also the Ma deuce.
The 1919 is still in service as a tank coaxial machine gun in several armies to this very day.
Rah? Also when I was in the marines I watched some of my officers play Battletech in the field one night. I got the Greyson Carlyle Marauder from my Lt Colonel.
That's awesome
Oh goody! Davy Crocketts for Christmas! Its just what I always wanted! XD
A giant snuggle pile of US Marines watching a Disney movie sounds like the most wholesome thing ever. I am not fucking kidding.
I almost thought it was a TexTalks history the way the thumbnail looked and the title. Good fun video
7:30 Oh yeah, there's been that picture circulating lately of some US tank-crew playing tabletop 40k in Iraq. 1990.
All hail Davey "Danger-Close" Crockett!
Davy Crockett: a personal solution to systemic problems.
"Call to Arms: something something"
Call to Arms: ostfront... except we realized we could milk people for money with Paradox-esque feature creep and expanding the scope of the game so we can make people pay for the other major powers as DLC (that were playable free in MoW:AS2) so just ignore that part.
All out chaos, wooo!
"Reloading, i missed."
Is high up there on the list of things you dont wanna hear from the dude operating the man portable nuke launcher
Real high up there with,
"Oops! I dropped it!!"
"It was the 50s and they weren't thinking.."
Yep. Yep that's why the Fallout series looks like the 50s as well.
Can't wait till Tex gets Davey Crockett rounds in his BTA 3062 play through 😅
Bruh 😂 i fucking scrumpt at "Reload... We missed" 😂😂😂
The ONLY time I actually got to play DnD was during Army AIT
Never once had the opportunity before nor since
I can feel the glow. Custom C&C Red Alert Christmas.
Oh look its Tex and the Crocketeers
I love how the Starship looks, I hate how bad it was in real life.
the christmas cheer that tastes metallic
I have not by any means sampled the huge catalogue of Tex/BPL videos but rather than "Look..." being a worrisome thing to hear from Mr. Tex, I would nominate "Don't worry about it." Definitely worry about it.
Came looking for my Battletech fix, found Tex fixing up vehicles with Jiffy Lube skillz to fix random vehicles to continue waging war. Frag... Still want my Battletech fix but this was fun.
And even with all that, they lost an f35
I would love to drive the most bare-bones, minimalist Willie style Jeep too. I think you might need the speedometer though to be street legal.
Good lord, my mother and father remember that damn turtle, and one of my dads older friends was trained on the damn Davy Crockett
When people talk about unhinged nuclear armed dictators, I am pretty sure that is Tex if he was the leader of any state. I enter into evidence:
1) Cargonia
2) The Free State of Van Zandt, which I should add exists *somewhere* in the Taurian Concordat.
3) Tex playing any RTS, especially Command and Conquer.
I am starting to think Tex has a poster of Dick Cheney hanging in his bedroom.
Or Eisenhower. He was a big proponent of tactical nukes. Why maintain a big standing army when you can have a small, nuclear armed army that can do just as well on the battlefield?
I watched a marine drink his beer out of a rocket launcher once.
Guy went from rpg to rpweeeeee
Tex, you can't just violate the Geneva Suggestions like that!
You mean the Geneva Checklist right?
Melbourne Breakfast Tea. I'm guessing Tex received some T2 tea. Good brand, I'm partial to their Brisbane Breakfast and the Lapsang Souchong.
bazooka team song is the best song.
We ned to mod that into HBS Battletech somehow
EMBRACE ATOM'S GLOW AND BE SAVED! *THUMP*
Yeah I can see nuclear popcorn machines back then for sure. This was a time where unshielded foot xrays were thought to be a good idea at the shoe stores.
never forget the prime the oil pump before stating any russian military anthing tbh
This game screams for a 40K mod, a good one.
Now I need to go look up David crocket yield
Simultaneously not much and way too much.
Praise Z0rg!
33:45 where did that tonk go in the lower left? It just seized to exist???
Ceased to exist
Never thought how close seized and ceased sound though.
@@ElGreco15 english is fery hard ja?
@@Yellow-vi8xc Yeah, it's an amalgamation of too many languages to be consistent. Then you've also got words being phased out, I don't think anyone really uses "Cease" in the vernacular anymore. "Seize victory from the jaws of defeat" I hear once in a blue moon, though the mirror statement I hear more often. I'll hear "seized" the most when describing what happened to a 3d printer. FDM not Resin, the gears may seize when they are to tight on the filament.
@@ElGreco15 hmmm i see your point nevertheless I think that both are valid. If a player grabs the tonk and deletes it, i believe he has "seized" its existance, should it have dissappeared into wherever game people go when they die or bug out, i believe it to have ceased to exist.
But in the end: where tonk go???
You used ALL your ammo? What the fuck is this? The first succession war???
are these guys you are going against real players or player vs. computer. But also, if you have a Bazooka, then you can make sure nobody has their shit together either! It's a loser cannon. Spawns' losers at the rate 3 shells a minute, LOL.
Davy Crockett perfect for china coral islands!
From everything I've seen and heard most of the complaints about the M60 don't start until either the '80s or '90s when these MGs had been in service for decades and a large part of the reason why they became so unreliable later on is that these are _machine guns_ that often remained in active use _since Vietnam_ . So guys would get issued an M60 that was actually older than them and then obviously it wouldn't work.
I had a 60 in late 80's to mid 90's. Only issue I ever had was a busted feed tray spring. As long as you had a good Armorer, thing worked fine. Lot better than the early M249's.
And the ones that still worked were machine-guns of Theseus.
It just wasn't a great design. Not a terrible design, but not a great one. The M60 came out around the same time as the FN MAG and PK. Neither of those had to be issued with asbestos gloves thanks to the incredible innovation known as a "handle". All three designs are still in use, but I don't think it's controversial to say that the MAG and PK's descendants have better reputations than the M60's.
@@SnakebitSTI
Neither did the M60. The asbestos glove is there because the M60 is supposed to, theoretically, have a quick-change barrel. I'm also confused as to why you think the M60 doesn't have a handle _and_ a handguard - something both the M240 and PK lack. While it's true that the MAG and PK enjoy an arguably better reputation than the M60 that has almost nothing to do with the weapon itself and a lot to do with maintenance and procurement.
@@The_Crimson_Fucker The MAG and PK both have a handle attached to the barrel assembly, allowing a hot barrel to be removed with no special equipment.
Tex is a fan of simple as. Which is good. and bad. and good. and bad. etc. Also I fear Tex has been a victim of some misinformation. Like about how Radar can't see under some magical altitude. Not that it matters in video games. My fav tank in COH2 would never been a good option IRL.
Me hearing Tex say the word "Davy Crockett" : "NONONONO WHO GAVE THEM THAT?!"
At least they aren't playing with the nuclear cannon
well unless its the davy croket m ammo from the battltech serres weapon arrow IV missle artiray launcher then it stucks big time. also the davy crocket ammo for a arrow IV urbie mech is super op by the way. so guess what happens if you have like ten of them arrow IV urbie mechs all with davy crocket ammo well then the enemy is F***ED.
*Ideal War flashbacks*
Just don't forget to seal your Urbies for NBC conditions.
@@SnakebitSTI hey all battletech mechs that are miltary grade under the battltech bordgame conteion rules in the avaced and exprmantal rules level 3+ catgory normaly have that kind of thing bulit in by the way. its just not by defalt for mitray non mech gronud vecales that are not fusion powered (i.c.e.-fuelcell-) and are not aerospace fighters, dropships, infirty not eqped with battlearmor/space suits, bascly. but it won't stop the emp pluse efect from frying your mechs and other units if your a bit to close to the nuclear fire ball. but its has to be very close to your units. also ther a very small shot per ton lmmit for the nuclear arrow IV davy coekct M ammo but its bascly you only get one shot per ton of that ammo however so make them arrow IV davycroket M ammo ronuds count. also don't let the enemy with dropships with ams be anyware near by bescue those ams will shoot down thsoe davy crokect m arrow IV ronuds so make shure the meeny doesnt have any ams armed dropships in the target hex area or your nukes are giong to be shot down.
Admittedly I thought we were going to get a Tex Talks History Davy Crockett. Which would have been hilarious, but this is good too!
I thought the same thing for a half a second with the intro lol
"What kind of medals do you give those guys for taking three danger-close Davey Crockets?"
Iodine. Lots and lots of Iodine. (EDIT: Potassium Iodide to be exact.)
"Casual use of nukes for personal reasons is okay." Just what i needed after a prolonged and chaotic nightshift. Now I just need to convince my dispatcher of that notion...
Couldn't agree more. Would make the surly folks I have to interact with overnight perk *right* up I bet...
@@qqccrryy heh.. Thankfully most of the people I have to deal with throughout my nightshifts aren't surly per say (although some can escalate to that point). They just don't have business being there in the first place - let alone in the middle of the night - and then try to somehow talk themselves out of that. Try and fail to be exact.
And in so doing they prove Einstein's quote correct time and again. About two things being infinite.
Problem is, my patience for idiocy is rather ..limited.
A whole platoon of jarheads in a cuddle puddle watching classic Disney movies is FREAKISHLY wholesome.
...the EXTRA large box of crayons in the middle of the floor
I mean, some of those Pixar movies are a bit much and might traumatise them. What else are you going to watch? :D
Devil Puppies ❤
Dating a lady marine, so that's where the elemental girl comes from ...
And so Tex turned several hundred miles into an uninhabitable wasteland because someone wasn't paying attention in the logistics department and let him have a quantity of Davy Crocketts greater then 1 in his entire career.
Pretty sure you meant zero, not one. Unless it's your opinion that _some_ amount of irradiated battlefield is okay, since if you still give Tex just one, then he'll surely use that one.
Regarding silk bags and the Starship:
From memory, the silk bags were the powder charges for the 152 mm rounds, and were a nightmare. They didn't burn cleanly and left residue all through the gun, which caused misfires and loading problems. They also were (as Tex stated) fragile, so if you mishandled one you were liable to fill the turret with propellant, which is never a good thing.
As a bonus: The 'Starship' moniker is allegedly a reference to Star Trek, as the consoles apparently reminded some of the crews of the futuristic bridge of the Enterprise.
On today's episode of "Fun Times with War Crimes", Tex of the BPL shows us that the Davy Crockett was what the Founding Fathers intended for self defense
Tex, the costs of the units is based off how common they were, not how good they were. The M60 might have been crap, it was also rarer.
Yes, you can pop popcorn with nuclear radiation, as some of those are microwaves. You can't eat the resulting popcorn though.
I beg to differ. You CAN eat the resulting popcorn. Whether or not doing so is a good idea, however, is a different question...
You can eat anything if you’re brave enough. ;)
"...You can't eat the resulting popcorn..."
You're not my dad, You can't tell me what to do!!!!
To be fair if you're close enough to get said popcorn, you're internal organs are cooking inside you anyway. Might as well eat the atomic popcorn.
Radiation absorbed by my JiffyPop Reactive Armor, is radiation not being absorbed by my cells
Irradiated does not mean radioactive. Unless you're talking about a neutron source. Those are "fun".
Imagine a battletech game that played like this?
maybe set during the 1st succession war for the nukes (other ideas are the SL civil war and clan invasion, maybe as massive expansions).
you have growing squads of infantry and tanks, and the major units are your lances of battlemechs.
as you order units around you can take control of individual units, mainly the mechs and tanks. have buddies play with you or against you.
to simplify the mech combat you would only go by the loadouts of mech variants. have a balance around cheap mechs (charger sucks but you can bring a but load of them). salvage enemy mechs on the battlefield
call it the newest version of mech commander. would be so fucking sweet
If you want nukes just play as the Taurians. They never signed the Ares Conventions...
@@MrGrimsmith or you play as the capellans, the taurians never signed the ares convention
Lol
We actually have rules for infantry-portable Davy Crockets among other delightful nuclear options.
Was it high?
Was it low?
Where the Hell'd that Crocket go!?
And the caissons go rolling along!
war crimes for the kids! Fun fact, the M28/29 was the real world inspiration for the "Fat Man" launcher from Fallout. Personally I still think the thing would have been fine with a slightly better launch assembly for just a tad more range. Furthermore, ask the Taurians how they feel about tactical nuclear ordinance. It is excellent for removing varmits from your land who some people refer to as Capellans.
The Davy Crockett also known as the real life inspiration for the frikking Fallout mini-nuke launcher. Insane but also kinda cool (but mostly insane).
The Fallout version is much safer lol
Davy Crockett was a product of an era that brought up other ideas, mostly bad, like detonating a nuke in orbit, which actually happened, doing a nuclear weapon test on the moon, which almost happened, and releasing 10,000 needles into orbit in a ring pattern to improve radio signals, which also happened and some needles can still be detected to this day.
End a 16 hour shift, get a "Tex with a Tank" video minutes later. Bargained and done.
Good morning everyone
A good morning indeed!
GM to you too
Good morning
It'll be good when I get my coffee but good morning fellow legionaries.
"A Davy Crocket Christmas"
An accurate description of the downstairs bathroom at my grandma's house after big family get-togethers.
i would love a full historical deep dive into the Davy Crockett device
Davy "your cancer is not service related" Crockett
If ARS doesn't get you first.
Nothing like the smell of atomic fallout in the morning
23:35 i believe the technical term would be 'Cuddle Puddle'
D&D in the military isn't a new thing neither, played a shitload of it back in the 90s as well. It was D&D, Shadowrun and Battletech that were the big three.
Never change, BPL
I very much enjoy that youtube recommended me Dr. Strangelove after watching this
Best TTRPG campaign I ever ran was in deployed. 6 month campaign with the FFG Star Wars RPG in the desert. It was so damn slow ops was flying training lines, so we had plenty of time.
I can see Discout Dan trying to sell Nuclear popcorn...
"You microwave your popcorn, right? It's basically the same fuckin' thing!"
Few years ago I got to chatting on the internets with some fella that had restored an M38 jeep and the recoiless rifle setup on the back with an M29 hanging off the end of the tube.
Looked fantastic
Davy, Davy Crockett, glowing craters on the frontier....
OH GOD HE DROPPED THE B.F.M. (Big Furry Monster) CARD!!!!! GAME OVER MAN! GAME OVER!!!!!!!!!!
My honest reaction: 🙂➡️💀
Davy Crockett, the past tense maker
Oh man. I laughed myself to tears. Thanks guys. That was great.
Tex, don't forget that BTA 3062 has a nuclear warhead Arrow IV ammo option. 1 shot=1 ton. And the damage is insane.
🎶Daveeey...Davey Crockett, king of the Atomic Frontier 🎶
It'll be fine , just remember to Duck'N'Cover, chummer.
Have Fun&Post Dangerous
-Lakon Marketing Division, Keelback Office -'If you're looking for a ship that can do almost anything, we can offer you a ship that can Almost do everything '
Well, our parent's generation was really, really, drunk all the time. So duties had to be performed while chain smoking and being half snapped.
I only just recently discovered the secret to 'good tea'... which is 'don't make it like mama made it because her tea was good because she adds enough sugar to create an oversaturated solution and leaves an inch of sugar-sediment in the bottom of the glass'.
Basically, you need three vessels.
1) a vessel to boil water; kettle, saucepan, what have you.
2) And this is important, a vessel to steep the tea in. A little teapot works, repurposed gravyboat also works.
3) A vessel for drinking the tea. Something that won't melt.
Key here is three separate vessels. Previously I'd either steep the tea in the vessel I boiled water in or in the cup I was gonna drink the tea in, then reach for the sugar. Also, when pouring from vessel 2 into vessel 3 do Not pour ALL of the tea into cup, leave the dregs behind... no matter how much your rural upbringing chaws on yeh about waistin'.
Bethesda could learn a thing or 2 from this game when it comes to portable nukes and damage to surroundings.
Auxiliary support has arrived
To a Marine I bet a 20mm round looks like a big caryon
The Davy Crockett the best unhealth care money can buy🌞
yeah a video to go along with my morning coffee and medication
Cheers to you. I might make myself an Irish coffee now
Ayo Happy Hour, let's go
You have to watch out for Crockett-armed blocking detachments
A buddy of mine was a jet engine mechanic in the Navy. He said that he played more D&D on a carrier than he ever played with us.
Officers and enlisted played together. Once he looked up and realized that the ships XO was playing with them.
"And we're gonna praise Pelor up in here!"
Where were you when Long Tom was kill?
Do we have any Davey Crocketts we could send to our friends in the Ukraine?
Ahhhhh... A wonderful Dumpmas Dump. Dump that DavieWarCrimeCrocket Tex, DUMP IT! LETS GOOOOOO! Hawkmen! NUUUUKE!!!
I used to carry an M60 in ROTC and had them assigned to my platoon when I was in 10th Mnt in 97'. The M60 was junk then too. It jammed all the time. The Army replaced mine with M249 SAWs. They were much more reliable but I missed the heavier Firepower of the 7.62. Then again, I had M203s and a Laser Designator to laz for copperheads so.....
Thanks for making a video depicting exactly why we decided the Davy Crockett was a terrible idea. Or more accurately, why giving Grunty McGruntface access to/complete authority to fire.... short range, contact fused, nuclear artillery.
"Hey there is a guy shooting at us in the woods over there somewhere"
"1 minute... gonna just remove the woods real quick"
The Davy Crockett was actually retired when it came to light that the fallout radius was greater than the maximum range of the missile. The brass was well aware of this fact from the outset, but the grunts and general public were not. Once that got out, they pulled the Crocketts and acted horrified as if the designers hadn't told them.
@Bacteriophagebs it was noted in the official report that the main issue was that at no point were the soldier equipped with these weapons given any form of authorization chain to follow. So literally any team assigned to this weapon could have popped it off if they felt there was a need. Without ever having to get authorization from someone higher up.
@@Ravnican127 That's certainly a problem. Of course, even the tactical nukes that _did_ require authorization codes were usually left at the default 0000 and the ones that weren't often had the codes lost/forgotten, resulting in the codes being written on the side of the console and such, so it's not like it would have mattered.
It's true, Soviet vehicles WEREN'T difficult to maintain.
- Squeaky wheel? Junk it, get a new one from the depot.
- Smoking? Junk it, get a new one from the depot.
- Hit by a 122mm round? Your families will get telegrams, and the replacement crew will draw a replacement vehicle from the depot.
If it had a red star on it, it was expendable by design.
After watching this following the Italian Navy videos, I just have to imagine now Tex arming his 400+ Torpedo Boats with Davy Crocketts to combat the Soviet fleets in the 1960s. I want to see this happen somehow.
I was doing great not over eating this holiday season, then the Marines showed up and I ate a whole box of crayons.