Humans Are Omnivores | HFY | SciFi Short Stories | Best of HFY

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  • Опубліковано 25 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 171

  • @bradwolf07
    @bradwolf07 2 місяці тому +400

    "One solace we can offer you....They Are Edible" holy Cow, that was awesome

    • @mbukukanyau
      @mbukukanyau 2 місяці тому +26

      We ate dinner

    • @Fikoj
      @Fikoj 2 місяці тому +52

      I woulda liked if the end of it had “and they are delicious” would be even more terrifying for the xenos

    • @nrschicago
      @nrschicago 2 місяці тому +12

      Holy Cow is ironic

    • @bradwolf07
      @bradwolf07 2 місяці тому +5

      @@nrschicago ironic or a fun word play?

    • @nrschicago
      @nrschicago 2 місяці тому +5

      @@bradwolf07 nothing wrong with both

  • @TheSpacePyro
    @TheSpacePyro 2 місяці тому +184

    I love the fact that they mentioned that their enemies can run but we would follow them until the enemy gets exhausted and can go no further which then we would catch up and go for the kill which is exactly how early mankind hunted we are not built for running after prey but we have amazing endurance which we used to hunt we would injure an animal and then follow it till the prey can’t run anymore and then we go in for the kill

  • @snidecommenter7117
    @snidecommenter7117 Місяць тому +162

    1/2 million hungry humans, 30 thousand cattle. Won't last long.

    • @Asperger0815
      @Asperger0815 21 день тому +18

      We can always stretch them out by adding a few vegetables....

    • @henrybialik8333
      @henrybialik8333 20 днів тому +9

      I'll bring the BBQ sauce!

    • @midnightfox6500
      @midnightfox6500 17 днів тому +7

      If only the council could read these comments

  • @terrorlizard
    @terrorlizard 2 місяці тому +250

    You could tell, as soon as he said edible. The humans saw there enemy in a new light. Not as solders to fear, but as food.

    • @robertmosen6126
      @robertmosen6126 Місяць тому +34

      Degrading to be classified as just food.

    • @lunazeebee12
      @lunazeebee12 Місяць тому +2

      😂

    • @MsDogleaf
      @MsDogleaf Місяць тому +10

      @@robertmosen6126right but it’s true will have always had to kill our food

    • @МихаилРозов-ю9п
      @МихаилРозов-ю9п Місяць тому

      @@MsDogleaf I'm shure that planes have never been alive. You know those are edible too.
      Hard to chew or cook properly, but edible.
      en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michel_Lotito

    • @drive2160
      @drive2160 27 днів тому

      @@МихаилРозов-ю9п*nom, nom, nom, nom*
      “But we’re already eating them….” 😢. “They’re delicious….”

  • @leyrua
    @leyrua Місяць тому +163

    Was expecting him to finish his closing remarks with: "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go have... _lunch."_

    • @mcp24
      @mcp24 Місяць тому +4

      It will become a feast in the Galactic Council for humans

    • @albertodimaio496
      @albertodimaio496 6 днів тому

      You should look up the closing sentence of Matteo Renzi's SHISH speech. I highly suggest it hahaha

  • @wolfgangkranek376
    @wolfgangkranek376 2 місяці тому +173

    Please pass the salt!
    No one shall say, we dont eat minerals to our aliens.

    • @Pavk-9918
      @Pavk-9918 Місяць тому +17

      Nah the mineral aliens are cool with us. Lets not change their attitude

    • @TB-fb1sq
      @TB-fb1sq 26 днів тому +7

      ​@@Pavk-9918if we lick them do they not taste like salt?

    • @spymaster3366
      @spymaster3366 21 день тому +3

      @@TB-fb1sq depends on their constitution i would imagine but some should? i guess

    • @MaDreameuse
      @MaDreameuse 8 днів тому +2

      @@TB-fb1sq Do not lick the alien!

  • @stock_movie1875
    @stock_movie1875 Місяць тому +48

    I'm reminded of an ancient saying.
    "The bird of Hermes is my name. Eating my own wings to keep me tame.'

    • @theirishviking9278
      @theirishviking9278 20 днів тому +5

      "From the bodies blood is shed
      Soon the ghouls become undead"

    • @teatusnoone6332
      @teatusnoone6332 7 днів тому

      Alchemy nerd or weeb ?

    • @Thule21
      @Thule21 День тому

      @@theirishviking9278
      The Bird of Hermes comes soon
      Not morning, evening or afternoon
      The Bird of Hermes feeds on fright
      Soon blood shall stain the night

  • @ExiledPiasa
    @ExiledPiasa Місяць тому +86

    The cage is open, we are coming, and… we… are… hungry!

    • @Allantitan
      @Allantitan 28 днів тому

      And all we see is a food rich environment

  • @redcraig3297
    @redcraig3297 Місяць тому +93

    Loved this story, 30000 troops reduced to 2300 after the dinner gong had been rung.

    • @Asundur17
      @Asundur17 Місяць тому +4

      Only in 1 hour too

    • @Christophiel
      @Christophiel 28 днів тому +3

      2300 kept alive waiting their turn to be eaten, watching their fellow troops being made into ingredients or eaten alive...!

    • @Allantitan
      @Allantitan 28 днів тому +3

      @@Christophielhey food tastes best when fresh

  • @pattyc.4978
    @pattyc.4978 2 місяці тому +125

    Bro really said: "The buffet line has started, please keep calm" 😂😂😂

    • @niyablake
      @niyablake Місяць тому +2

      pass the salt

    • @Allantitan
      @Allantitan 28 днів тому +1

      @@niyablakeand the various dipping sauces

    • @niyablake
      @niyablake 28 днів тому

      @@Allantitan pulls out the shell cracker.

  • @Amoth_oth_ras_shash
    @Amoth_oth_ras_shash Місяць тому +44

    the galaxy rattled the chains of not just the beast of war ..hunger.. hate ..empathy.. rage ...and as those holding it leet go of their grip , the galaxy learnt that arrogance dont hide you from the hungry endurance omnivore

  • @blaiseboudreau1819
    @blaiseboudreau1819 24 дні тому +23

    "And now you will remember your place on the food chain". very nice. lol

  • @SerunaXI
    @SerunaXI 29 днів тому +20

    Bold move of the council to call human's corpse eaters.

    • @empresspyra
      @empresspyra 5 днів тому +2

      "Scavengers" it would make one heck of a crossover to have the "prey" species attend a flies on the wall reenactment with them witnessing an ancient human pack hunt a wooly mammoth. They would learn a lot from that. Their assumptions and prejudice invites them to self evaluation and mature scrutiny.

  • @SerunaXI
    @SerunaXI 29 днів тому +23

    Many a predator should also note that humans will hunt predators to remove threats. Alternatively, we domesticate and break. What started as a mighty wolf now has trouble breathing because it no longer has a snout.

  • @JamesSmith-gm7fm
    @JamesSmith-gm7fm Місяць тому +37

    I feel bad for any aliens that look like chickens

  • @AshtonCoolman
    @AshtonCoolman Місяць тому +59

    "HUNGER FOR BURGER....HERETIC BURGER!!!!" - Sanguinius maybe

    • @Actually_Sanguinius
      @Actually_Sanguinius Місяць тому +6

      I did say this... I think.

    • @blacklighthologram5339
      @blacklighthologram5339 Місяць тому +2

      @@Actually_Sanguiniuscan you get me a new bolter for Sanguinala my lord? I broke my old one while shattering xenos bones to eat the marrow.

  • @10v3lygir1
    @10v3lygir1 11 днів тому +5

    Honestly if we can’t figure out how to eat the mineral beans (salt) we can still figure out how to use them for something.

  • @atticusseverus
    @atticusseverus Місяць тому +24

    Yeah.....I think the the power structure of the universe is about to massively change....with many relearning what it means to deal with a hungry predator.

  • @JeffreyHiggins-s7t
    @JeffreyHiggins-s7t Місяць тому +17

    Stone soup officially added to the menu.

  • @Zarviya
    @Zarviya Місяць тому +9

    Man I remember reading a humanity are space orcs story that was like aliens starved us out and we just butchered and ate the aliens instead and turned them into cattle I was like Jesus christ

    • @darnelljohnson5313
      @darnelljohnson5313 23 дні тому +1

      Not cattle, this is a wild hunt. Like boar, deer, pheasant tuna.

  • @robertcartledge826
    @robertcartledge826 Місяць тому +41

    remind them of their place on the food chain, beneath us. LMAO! what an entertaining story! Humanity Fuck Yeah!

  • @peteramaranth85
    @peteramaranth85 2 місяці тому +33

    I would love to see this animated in live action or a film

  • @axion9194
    @axion9194 2 місяці тому +36

    I heard this like 3 months ago and could not find it again. So glad you published its a good story.

  • @davidnelson9238
    @davidnelson9238 Місяць тому +11

    So this is probably going down in galactic history as either the age of consumption or the grate devouring.

  • @lionelwhiskerknot
    @lionelwhiskerknot 12 днів тому +4

    And now the most dreaded words the Galactic Council would hear on the communication net would be "Where's the Beef?!"

  • @jonathanmccarthy6937
    @jonathanmccarthy6937 18 днів тому +7

    Reminder, eating a sentient being is not cannibalism. Avoid brains and you should be fine.

  • @bananamuffiin9869
    @bananamuffiin9869 Місяць тому +7

    I really hope it would of ending like
    "I conclude with one final message. "LET THE FEAST BEGIN!!!!" , - - Ambassadors, Damian Shores concluding sentence at the galactic conference, on what is now known as the beginning of the bloodiest war in galactic history, "The Magna Vorans" , or the great devouring,
    or "The Old Hunt" , "The Esurien Hunt" the hungry hunt, "The Bestia Festival" or beast festival , or "The Voracious Night" . . . . i was really hoping for something along the line of, look i tried.

    • @bananamuffiin9869
      @bananamuffiin9869 Місяць тому

      but still the " they're edible" line was my favorite i loved it

  • @Operator214MerchantMarine
    @Operator214MerchantMarine Місяць тому +18

    this should be played in stellaris as human became the devouring swarm 😂😂😂

    • @griffgoldstein6378
      @griffgoldstein6378 Місяць тому +1

      I turn most species into cattle lol

    • @iRcoyote1
      @iRcoyote1 6 днів тому

      My default rights for alien species in Stellaris when I play a Bio empire is "livestock".

  • @crabLT
    @crabLT 16 днів тому +3

    Didn't expect this be narrated by Agent 47 himself.

  • @bmac9936
    @bmac9936 2 місяці тому +37

    I never grow tired of hearing this story or ones very much like it. (Why can’t I find a smiley face holding a knife and fork?)

  • @AdamDavisEE
    @AdamDavisEE 19 днів тому +3

    "One solace we can offer: They taste like chicken."

  • @mbusocele1558
    @mbusocele1558 Місяць тому +3

    Thank you for this story...
    I have always been thinking what a futuristic world where humans eat aliens would look like

  • @MichaelWinter-ss6lx
    @MichaelWinter-ss6lx 2 місяці тому +26

    We take for granted, that you have propper spices growing on your respective planets.
    Bon appetite.
    🚀🏴‍☠️🎸

  • @cb5117
    @cb5117 25 днів тому +3

    That was awesomely clever, darkly humorous, and bad ass. Well done!!!!

  • @THEYETTY
    @THEYETTY 2 місяці тому +14

    i need a whole audio book !!!! moreeeeeee

  • @mikedubovs1574
    @mikedubovs1574 Місяць тому +4

    Mmmmm donuts... alien. They taste like chicken... "Homer"

  • @dekonfrost7
    @dekonfrost7 Місяць тому +10

    When you try to be nice. Then show them we will and can eat you.

  • @Highrocker1298
    @Highrocker1298 Місяць тому +9

    Wow! That was nicely served up! More please!

  • @dank-man6510
    @dank-man6510 Місяць тому +4

    My man should've started displaying recipes on the screen

  • @AshtonCoolman
    @AshtonCoolman Місяць тому +7

    Let's find out which FTL capable race turns into the best bacon!

  • @falconcorban4128
    @falconcorban4128 Місяць тому +4

    poisonous individuals wouldn't be able to escape, we will find a way to eat it XD.

    • @mcp24
      @mcp24 Місяць тому +1

      real 😂

  • @jackreisewitz6632
    @jackreisewitz6632 2 місяці тому +9

    Most awesome !!! I wonder how aliens taste with barbecue sauce ?? Should we clean them ?? Or serve them on the half shell ??

  • @daltonbrasfield
    @daltonbrasfield 22 години тому

    I didn't realize we could get agent 47 to narrate stuff like this

  • @SageofStars
    @SageofStars 2 місяці тому +20

    To be fair, it is interesting that life would evolve with similar enough biochemicals to make ingestion a good idea. That said, obviously not the point of this one, just where my mind goes when hearing about that sort of thing.
    And a good way of doing it, too. The implication is that the tech levels of the species, due to how technology works in this setting, are about equal. It's the tactics and strategies that change things. And now, humanity has been let off the leash.
    There are rules for war, because without them, war becomes nothing but an empty field of corpses at the end of the day, thanks to how our guns work. With guns that can shoot planets at relativistic speeds, the battlefield can take up to a whole solar system.
    And right now, every enemy casualty is something that can replace that MRE in your supply chest, and that's enough to motivate any man.
    Maxim 7
    'If the food is good enough, the grunts will stop complaining about the incoming fire.;
    Maxim 6
    'If violence wasn't your last resort, then you failed to resort to enough of it.'

    • @braxat52
      @braxat52 2 місяці тому +4

      You say it as if people eating highly toxic food that was supposed to be poisonous wasn't a thing already.

    • @nirfz
      @nirfz Місяць тому +2

      Just saying, there were rules of war before modern guns.
      It's not because of guns that there are rules of war.

    • @SageofStars
      @SageofStars Місяць тому

      @@nirfz Those were more guidelines of war, or suggestions of war. Even when one side or the other agreed to not salt the fields or burn the forests of their enemy...they did it anyway. Mind, those were less conquerors and more raiders, but some did raid far afield thanks to strength in numbers.

    • @nirfz
      @nirfz Місяць тому +2

      @@SageofStars There's no difference to the "laws of war now". They are still treated as "just guidelines".
      Signing member states agree that they adhere, but we can easily go through every armed conflict since the hague conventions papers were signed and i show you that almost every time at least one if not both sides violated what was in those treaties.
      Some countries outright refused to sign.
      It's still treated as "guidelines".
      Russia, the US, China, Isreal, Pakistan and India have refused to be part of the of the international criminal court that is about proscution of war crimes...
      The big 3 of these are also the ones that refused to sign a treaty to not use and produce anti personel mines over 20 years ago...

  • @Asperger0815
    @Asperger0815 21 день тому +2

    Cool, hunting season is on again...

  • @czar6203
    @czar6203 12 днів тому +2

    Ohohohoho THIS one is good.

  • @sylvain2mintoloose945
    @sylvain2mintoloose945 2 місяці тому +9

    Dinner is served :P

  • @darnelljohnson5313
    @darnelljohnson5313 23 дні тому +2

    I guess along with your gun and your fire starting equipment, you'll be carrying salt, pepper, BBQ sauce and hot sauce.

  • @ANGRYWOLVERINE2060-ft2nc
    @ANGRYWOLVERINE2060-ft2nc 2 місяці тому +7

    One of my favorites

  • @stevenbuckley1416
    @stevenbuckley1416 2 місяці тому +8

    To be washed down with a drop off chianti 🍷 😋 😂

  • @topher_69eze34
    @topher_69eze34 9 днів тому +1

    As a human I have found a new fear in my species as I'm reminded that these tools we aptly call teeth have sank into more meaty game and healthy greens varieties than any other herbivores or carnivores combined and they still do because they're is delicious 😋, scrumptious and above all healthy. We took opportunitistic feeders to a whole new ball game and it scares me.

  • @glenmassey3746
    @glenmassey3746 Місяць тому +2

    What's on the menu.😂

  • @Ian-j6q
    @Ian-j6q 25 днів тому

    WOW! I got chills towards the end.

  • @angelmatiastorres
    @angelmatiastorres 7 днів тому

    15:10 this is truly cold... I love it

  • @bf-696
    @bf-696 27 днів тому +2

    These AI stories are usually formulaic, boring, poorly scripted, and poorly read. This one was much better than usual.

  • @gsilva220
    @gsilva220 2 місяці тому +4

    The rock ones should have been shown in bags

  • @Christophiel
    @Christophiel 4 дні тому

    Instead of saying have a nice day, he should've done like Pennywise "You all taste so much better when you're scared!"

  • @DeathclawJedi
    @DeathclawJedi 2 місяці тому +26

    Is that the Dinner bell I hear off in the distance?

    • @mbukukanyau
      @mbukukanyau 2 місяці тому +4

      The BBQ is on

    • @crunchie9362
      @crunchie9362 2 місяці тому +2

      No thats proximity alarms blaring, but close.

    • @mbukukanyau
      @mbukukanyau 2 місяці тому +4

      @@crunchie9362 Dinner brought itself

    • @DeathclawJedi
      @DeathclawJedi 2 місяці тому

      @@crunchie9362 You Say to may to I say to Mah to lol

    • @stock_movie1875
      @stock_movie1875 Місяць тому

      SOUPS ON!!!

  • @mitchelldespins8287
    @mitchelldespins8287 2 місяці тому +8

    always wanted to try giant crow

  • @suzettewilliams1758
    @suzettewilliams1758 2 місяці тому +5

    I would love to hearvthe aftermath of this war.

  • @silverbird425
    @silverbird425 2 дні тому

    Your name is dinnah . . . and you are lunch . . . and you are a snack. And don't forget dessert!

  • @mbukukanyau
    @mbukukanyau 2 місяці тому +8

    Hahahaha😂, we ate them all

  • @darnelljohnson5313
    @darnelljohnson5313 23 дні тому +1

    😂 GLORIOUS 😂😂😂 had to start over a second time
    🎶 Food glorious food

  • @UBWChaosVector
    @UBWChaosVector 4 дні тому

    "Thank you for the... enlightening story, 47."

  • @nesapanjalingam704
    @nesapanjalingam704 Місяць тому +3

    Love this ! 😂 ❤

  • @lightlegion_
    @lightlegion_ Місяць тому +2

    That’s so nice! Shall we connect?

  • @kaitlynmyers9460
    @kaitlynmyers9460 Місяць тому +8

    Who all are the allies? I think one is a fox another was a falcon but what are the others? They are the ones not on the hunting menu 🤔

  • @fuhkyu8146
    @fuhkyu8146 Місяць тому +3

    12:26 oh my god

  • @Seahorn_
    @Seahorn_ Місяць тому +2

    Can someone pass me the salt?

  • @Gravel47
    @Gravel47 Місяць тому

    Nice to hear the va of David bateson🥳💯👌

  • @Mancave5000
    @Mancave5000 2 місяці тому +6

    Barbecue time. Do they taste like chicken or pork. 😊

    • @Jw-no7id
      @Jw-no7id 2 місяці тому +3

      If you have time to cure it properly anything can taste like bacon.

    • @Mancave5000
      @Mancave5000 2 місяці тому +4

      @@Jw-no7id alien bacon.

    • @cnkclark
      @cnkclark 2 місяці тому +3

      We have sauces for every occasion.

  • @carpetshake
    @carpetshake 2 місяці тому

    Here from TikTok

  • @robertmosen6126
    @robertmosen6126 Місяць тому

    Second time i’ve heard this.
    Great story but a sad future for humanity, devolving back to stone age mentality.

  • @enclaveofficerz3245
    @enclaveofficerz3245 Місяць тому +2

    47 is that you?

  • @donroudebush596
    @donroudebush596 2 місяці тому +1

    👍👍

  • @thomaskinney9081
    @thomaskinney9081 Місяць тому +1

    Took too long to get good my only real problem

  • @GaryRoseCO
    @GaryRoseCO 2 місяці тому +4

    Ergh. Cannibalism. Who keeps trying to sell us cannibalism? If it talks, it's people.

    • @kitty4123
      @kitty4123 2 місяці тому +3

      Well those people are currently holding an entire planet hostage and starving them.

    • @Shythalia
      @Shythalia 2 місяці тому +8

      It's wrong to eat another person but it's not cannibalism when they're a different species.

    • @Shythalia
      @Shythalia 2 місяці тому

      I wouldn't wanna eat them either.

    • @bobdamano9606
      @bobdamano9606 2 місяці тому +7

      We already eat sentient animals. Them being able to talk is not a test of intelligence.

    • @peteramaranth85
      @peteramaranth85 2 місяці тому +1

      ​@@bobdamano9606exactly qui Gon jin said it best

  • @Jani-wr1dn
    @Jani-wr1dn Місяць тому

    Goddamn AI sucks yet again. Not a bad thing :)

  • @wboyd33
    @wboyd33 2 місяці тому +3

    I don't like the new voice. I'm having a hard time listening to it & have restarted it twice...so far. Please go back to the richer, thicker, deeper voice as it grips my attention & makes my.earholes happy.

    • @SciFiStoryGuy
      @SciFiStoryGuy  2 місяці тому +2

      I'll go back to him for sure, just testing on some one shots. I won't use him for any of our series either, they'll stay the same guy.

  • @gregstroh6360
    @gregstroh6360 6 днів тому

    👍 t

  • @FreemanEleanore-b1v
    @FreemanEleanore-b1v 2 місяці тому

    Rodriguez Jose Hall Maria Allen Kimberly

  • @GarciaTheresa-t1o
    @GarciaTheresa-t1o Місяць тому

    Williams Anthony Thompson Brenda Hall Paul

  • @AnnMorris-z9d
    @AnnMorris-z9d 2 місяці тому

    Robinson Christopher Robinson Frank Martin Paul

  • @Freelancer837
    @Freelancer837 Місяць тому

    47

  • @Darkphoenix3450
    @Darkphoenix3450 Місяць тому +1

    Technically humans are carnivores, are digestive track is not made to properly break down plant matter. We can be 100% healthy eating nothing but meat, the same cannot be said if on a plant diet.

  • @CissieNeil-x6w
    @CissieNeil-x6w 2 місяці тому

    Lopez Cynthia White Barbara Moore Jennifer

  • @FudgeBondu
    @FudgeBondu 2 місяці тому

    Williams Jason Wilson Jessica Williams Larry