An out of concern comment. Please note that the stories on this channel are less than 30 minutes and in no way cover in details the entire events that happened in 3-4 years. Also, I am not an 18 year old any more - I am about twice that age now and so much has shifted. That said, if you have not had a chance to read my book, and only have 10-20 minute snippets on here, you will come with a lot of bile at the thought of gaps in the stories. While you are right, you need to also understand that I did not have anyone in mind while creating the video and I assumed I was just moving over with my followers from a different platform who have read the stories umpteen times. The negative comments are very unnecessary. If and when I ever feel like addressing questions raised, I will do in a different video. For now, I appreciate the positive comments and we carry on. If you feel like parts of what you understand are missing and you need to understand, give me time, I will maybe do more videos now addressing all your thoughts maybe. I'd be more concerned about the loved ones near me, making sure no one takes advantage of them, especially people the family deems so close, and also check on people that we feel are going through any form of abuse. Sometimes, they just do not know how to get themselves out. They may need help even when they do not ask for it loudly. Also, be kind - it costs nothing.
My dad was abusive to my mom. She left when I was 6 and my bro was younger. My dad seemed like a good father when I was very little. However, when I became a teenager it was awful. He abused me in different ways. He became an angry alcoholic and I wouldn't wish my upbringing on anyone. I was going to school and everything seemed normal on the outside but it was very far from normal behind closed doors. I forgive my mom for leaving in order to live and be out of an abusive situation. However, the abuser she left me with has messed me up mentally. I had to raise myself and it's hard to forgive the abuse that happened. I'm still healing everyday from it. My thing is I'm glad you're safe but if you're thinking that your daughter is safe...I'm sorry but most likely you are wrong. There's no such thing as an abuser to a partner will be a good parent. No, I bet you he's not a good father either. And I'm saying all of this from my experience. I hope your daughter can escape the situation because she deserves freedom too. 💯
I went through a very very similar situation in fact he was a police officer and he had a lot of power and he knew the law. I was in court for three years and I represented myself cuz I couldn’t afford a lawyer to defend me but I fought like a mother lion and trust me he put me through pure hell but their was absolutely no way I was going to give up. Thank god after 3 years I became the sole custodial parent and if I had to do it all over again I would I could not imagine my life without my two kids.
My dear you have done the right thing, remember your child is not a bottle one day she will be of age. She will know what a fantastic mum you are . Stay strong 💪
Tatu, you do you! Your daughter will eventually look for you for closure. At her age, she has already gathered some truth for herself. You keep walking strong and know that you have done nothing wrong. None of this is your fault!!
Big love and warm hugs going out to you. I'm from Nigeria and my own circumstance metamorphosed into a single mom situation too. I do have my child with me who is 13yrs old now so i can't even imagine how hard this must be for you. Posterity will justify you in due time, trust me & your baby girl will find your truth. Thank you for jumping in and thriving even in every possibility that you might fail or fall. Holding space for you in love, good faith and prayers. Also, sending bright lights to you, all the way from your West African sister's heart🙏💖🇳🇬
I can relate with you sis! When life happens… just trust God… your mental health is more important. She will look for you surely… and these videos will serve as your record tomorrow.
Sometimes you have to make decisions for you to save your life. A lot of women have been killed by their abusive partners and for most of them,they would have walked away BUT!!!the judges and juries in the society are waiting to pass their judgement. I don’t know you but am proud of you,you chose your life.Your daughter will look for you and she will see you when you are alive rather than bringing flowers to your grave.
Don't worry what people said.just pray to God that one day you will seen your daughter one day. She will understand dont worried about peoples human being always human beings they don't know you but them ready to judge.
My dear sister in Christ with all wisdom, understanding and knowledge I can say I deeply understand the pains you must have gone through in that criminal man hand. Honestly you don't owe anyone explanation except your child when you see him. So try never to stress yourself in addressing the man as your husband or the relationship as a marriage. Because he kidnapped you and hold you captive against your wish and forced everything on you without your agreement. So Move on with your life happily and keep trying every possible best you can to be visiting your child to know how he is doing too or get him out from the wicked man hand. God is with you and his grace is sufficient for you always. Shalom.
Takes a different level of grace to let go of a fight for a child for her peace and yours. In time God will restore your relationship. She's 15 now, so just 3 more years. So hopeful for you guys❤
I don’t understand your decision to leave your child but it was your decision to make. It’s unlikely that your daughter will fully understand or ever experience her adult life without feeling abandoned and rejected but maybe once you explain your reasons to her, it will give her some piece and stop her from feeling like she wasn’t good enough. You possibly owe her that much.
Open your mind and place yourself in her shoes. You're abducted at 18. You're forced to be a mother other children not yours, impregnated against your will. You manage to leave after many years of abuse, miscarriages due to forced sex, beating and mental abuse. He then used your child as a bargain chip, a manipulative tool. Do not judge, until this happens to you, you will never understand why she made that decision. I understand her 💯. Her decision was smart and in accordance with her situations. Respect sis, you're inspirational. You sir are a pig and poor excuse for humanity.
If your ex husband abused you, he has the capabilities to abuse her. And the fact he knows you won’t check on her, how will she escape. You could go back to your parents, but she has no one to run to for help.
He is not a good partner but an okay father to his children when all this shenanigans are put aside (sorry I won’t go into details- I wrote a book about this and it has details). Thanks for your concern :)
You were taken to court for custody when you were very young. Now you are a grown woman who now knows better and you can definitely do better. Denying her access to you is already an abuse and it's not ok. Don't lose focus, then you didn't have money to fight but now you do. Waiting for 18 for a girl is late. Your story can repeat if you don't stop it
@@Elizabeth-j9t You've put it so well,her daughter needed to be with her and be part of her journey. There're those ethnic groups that discourage women going away with offspring but it's wrong.
He has a personality disorder perhaps. Hope his not the type that would abuse his daughters, since she's almost 18 talking to her once or twice year is better no communication at all. Thanks4 sharing yo story, bravo
Ur so correct about not hurting ur child. My son has a child with a lady he is no longer with. She would do to my husband and I the same thing. One time she told the child I was coming to get her and the child sat on the steps waiting for us all afternoon and cried when we didn’t come. The mom eventually told her nobody wants her. It breaks my heart. I just pray for her that once mature she will look for us. God bless u and ur children.
So sorry you are judged. I think you did the right thing, can you imagine the hell you would be livng in with your child witnessing all that? I've read of women that left when they were finally threatened with death.
I understand everyone's concerns but i think there is a reason this channel exists...to give her daughter a thourough explanation why shes not with her mother...its exhausting fighting with a narcissist. Sometimes choosing to surrender is the best you can do in most cases...and God will do the rest.
A relationship should be happy not unhappy, you doing what is the best for you, if you’re staying a little longer your husband will definitely kill you. God is good at all the time for saving you. When a time to meet your daughter god will it happen
I thank God u still alive that evil man wanted to kill u and u managed to escape never ever try to see him again darling he is inhuman. U are young and beautiful keep it up ❤ U will see your daughter in the near future she will be 18 soon time flies
The Kenyan system failed you the marriage was a forced marriage actually kidnapped. Thank you for choosing you and your safety. I pray your daughter is safe and protected, 3 more years you will be united 💐🫂
Iam not a psychologist, but in my view one of the reasons why people might judge you is the tone of your naration which is seems "emotionless"!?? Human beings like to be "drawn into your pain" somehow your narration tone does not seem to do that. My view, Iam might be really wrong🤷
Been there done that, the courts and the justice systems failed me - If you understood how flawed justice in Africa can sometimes be... I am not ready to walk that path again. I choose to be happy and just live my life now. Spent over 10 years grumbling and fighting, I am not doing that again. I am at a good place with myself and choose not spend my coming years fighting or chasing things. @@sahotamarie71
I'll later do a video answering all the questions I have received so far and you will probably see why I just choose to be happy that I am alive and live my happily after without bothering about that human.
But which court will allow an under age child to be taken custody of by the father. I still don't get it, could he take you over from your parents an turn you into his wife.?
It's true people judge but some people are just expressing what they would do in the situation. Some are also just curious. Where are your siblings? As the last born is your family so poor no one can take on the guy? How can people say you dont care? What about visiting her at school But if you do this for the benefit of the girl dont you think he would have brainwashed her that you went with another man and you didnt want her. I've seen that happen.
Of course there was a reason. He just wanted to frustrate me to going back to him which is absolutely impossible. He took advantage that I was young, broke and he had money to bribe everyone including the courts where I was denied rights because “ I couldn’t afford). And personal choice- I do not want to be with him, so I will not go back even if he says the only way to see the child is to get back with him.
An out of concern comment. Please note that the stories on this channel are less than 30 minutes and in no way cover in details the entire events that happened in 3-4 years. Also, I am not an 18 year old any more - I am about twice that age now and so much has shifted. That said, if you have not had a chance to read my book, and only have 10-20 minute snippets on here, you will come with a lot of bile at the thought of gaps in the stories. While you are right, you need to also understand that I did not have anyone in mind while creating the video and I assumed I was just moving over with my followers from a different platform who have read the stories umpteen times. The negative comments are very unnecessary. If and when I ever feel like addressing questions raised, I will do in a different video. For now, I appreciate the positive comments and we carry on. If you feel like parts of what you understand are missing and you need to understand, give me time, I will maybe do more videos now addressing all your thoughts maybe. I'd be more concerned about the loved ones near me, making sure no one takes advantage of them, especially people the family deems so close, and also check on people that we feel are going through any form of abuse. Sometimes, they just do not know how to get themselves out. They may need help even when they do not ask for it loudly. Also, be kind - it costs nothing.
My dad was abusive to my mom. She left when I was 6 and my bro was younger. My dad seemed like a good father when I was very little. However, when I became a teenager it was awful. He abused me in different ways. He became an angry alcoholic and I wouldn't wish my upbringing on anyone. I was going to school and everything seemed normal on the outside but it was very far from normal behind closed doors. I forgive my mom for leaving in order to live and be out of an abusive situation. However, the abuser she left me with has messed me up mentally. I had to raise myself and it's hard to forgive the abuse that happened. I'm still healing everyday from it. My thing is I'm glad you're safe but if you're thinking that your daughter is safe...I'm sorry but most likely you are wrong. There's no such thing as an abuser to a partner will be a good parent. No, I bet you he's not a good father either. And I'm saying all of this from my experience. I hope your daughter can escape the situation because she deserves freedom too. 💯
A very emotionally intelligent woman❤
I went through a very very similar situation in fact he was a police officer and he had a lot of power and he knew the law. I was in court for three years and I represented myself cuz I couldn’t afford a lawyer to defend me but I fought like a mother lion and trust me he put me through pure hell but their was absolutely no way I was going to give up. Thank god after 3 years I became the sole custodial parent and if I had to do it all over again I would I could not imagine my life without my two kids.
My dear you have done the right thing, remember your child is not a bottle one day she will be of age.
She will know what a fantastic mum you are .
Stay strong 💪
That is a real abuser that’s how they act. Thank God you were able to leave. So sad a situation
This is so heart breaking 😢
Life happens…it is well
Tatu, you do you! Your daughter will eventually look for you for closure. At her age, she has already gathered some truth for herself. You keep walking strong and know that you have done nothing wrong. None of this is your fault!!
God be with you.
Blessings to you and your daughter ❤🩹
Thank you ❤️
We’re glad you’re alive. My dad did the same and took us from mum when he kicked her out so that his side chick can move in.
You got a nice voice(hugs to you)
Thank you 💕
Big love and warm hugs going out to you. I'm from Nigeria and my own circumstance metamorphosed into a single mom situation too. I do have my child with me who is 13yrs old now so i can't even imagine how hard this must be for you.
Posterity will justify you in due time, trust me & your baby girl will find your truth. Thank you for jumping in and thriving even in every possibility that you might fail or fall. Holding space for you in love, good faith and prayers. Also, sending bright lights to you, all the way from your West African sister's heart🙏💖🇳🇬
Thank you💕💕
Grateful for every day 🙏
I can relate with you sis! When life happens… just trust God… your mental health is more important. She will look for you surely… and these videos will serve as your record tomorrow.
She sure will. Am no longer stressed about it
Sometimes you have to make decisions for you to save your life.
A lot of women have been killed by their abusive partners and for most of them,they would have walked away BUT!!!the judges and juries in the society are waiting to pass their judgement.
I don’t know you but am proud of you,you chose your life.Your daughter will look for you and she will see you when you are alive rather than bringing flowers to your grave.
Thank you! ❤️
100% accurate.
Don't worry what people said.just pray to God that one day you will seen your daughter one day. She will understand dont worried about peoples human being always human beings they don't know you but them ready to judge.
My dear sister in Christ with all wisdom, understanding and knowledge I can say I deeply understand the pains you must have gone through in that criminal man hand. Honestly you don't owe anyone explanation except your child when you see him. So try never to stress yourself in addressing the man as your husband or the relationship as a marriage. Because he kidnapped you and hold you captive against your wish and forced everything on you without your agreement. So Move on with your life happily and keep trying every possible best you can to be visiting your child to know how he is doing too or get him out from the wicked man hand.
God is with you and his grace is sufficient for you always. Shalom.
Takes a different level of grace to let go of a fight for a child for her peace and yours. In time God will restore your relationship. She's 15 now, so just 3 more years. So hopeful for you guys❤
I don’t understand your decision to leave your child but it was your decision to make. It’s unlikely that your daughter will fully understand or ever experience her adult life without feeling abandoned and rejected but maybe once you explain your reasons to her, it will give her some piece and stop her from feeling like she wasn’t good enough. You possibly owe her that much.
Open your mind and place yourself in her shoes. You're abducted at 18. You're forced to be a mother other children not yours, impregnated against your will. You manage to leave after many years of abuse, miscarriages due to forced sex, beating and mental abuse. He then used your child as a bargain chip, a manipulative tool. Do not judge, until this happens to you, you will never understand why she made that decision. I understand her 💯. Her decision was smart and in accordance with her situations. Respect sis, you're inspirational. You sir are a pig and poor excuse for humanity.
I wouldn't leave my daughter by force any thing...
Sometimes people end up being murdered during custody battles. Let him have the child. She will look for her mom when she grows up.
just said a prayer fr you. may God strengthen your heart
Thank you! I have come a long way, but can say I am in a much better place. It is well :)
If your ex husband abused you, he has the capabilities to abuse her. And the fact he knows you won’t check on her, how will she escape. You could go back to your parents, but she has no one to run to for help.
He is not a good partner but an okay father to his children when all this shenanigans are put aside (sorry I won’t go into details- I wrote a book about this and it has details).
Thanks for your concern :)
@joanclayton5212 I agree with you.
You were taken to court for custody when you were very young. Now you are a grown woman who now knows better and you can definitely do better. Denying her access to you is already an abuse and it's not ok. Don't lose focus, then you didn't have money to fight but now you do. Waiting for 18 for a girl is late. Your story can repeat if you don't stop it
I understand yes there are good fathers, but bad partners
@@Elizabeth-j9t You've put it so well,her daughter needed to be with her and be part of her journey.
There're those ethnic groups that discourage women going away with offspring but it's wrong.
You will see yr daughter in 3 yrs time.
She will be an adult
Hugs
He has a personality disorder perhaps. Hope his not the type that would abuse his daughters, since she's almost 18 talking to her once or twice year is better no communication at all. Thanks4 sharing yo story, bravo
Do not let people judge you, you was only the one who had suffering from the evil husband
Ur so correct about not hurting ur child. My son has a child with a lady he is no longer with. She would do to my husband and I the same thing. One time she told the child I was coming to get her and the child sat on the steps waiting for us all afternoon and cried when we didn’t come. The mom eventually told her nobody wants her. It breaks my heart. I just pray for her that once mature she will look for us. God bless u and ur children.
Hugs to you💕💕
So sorry you are judged. I think you did the right thing, can you imagine the hell you would be livng in with your child witnessing all that? I've read of women that left when they were finally threatened with death.
Pple are there to talk and talk but lets learn to love ourselves
I understand everyone's concerns but i think there is a reason this channel exists...to give her daughter a thourough explanation why shes not with her mother...its exhausting fighting with a narcissist. Sometimes choosing to surrender is the best you can do in most cases...and God will do the rest.
Word👌
I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s physically or verbally abusing the children too 😢
That's my concern 😢😢😢😢
You did well by you and even the child,the man is a narcissist. That hurts him more so he can't manipulate you
Thank you! 💕
A relationship should be happy not unhappy, you doing what is the best for you, if you’re staying a little longer your husband will definitely kill you. God is good at all the time for saving you. When a time to meet your daughter god will it happen
I thank God u still alive that evil man wanted to kill u and u managed to escape never ever try to see him again darling he is inhuman. U are young and beautiful keep it up ❤
U will see your daughter in the near future she will be 18 soon time flies
I hate abusive men i can relate pple are judgemental but i dont care they dont understand i left an abusive marriage am now very happy and at peace.
It will psychologically hurt her for forever!
The Kenyan system failed you the marriage was a forced marriage actually kidnapped. Thank you for choosing you and your safety. I pray your daughter is safe and protected, 3 more years you will be united 💐🫂
The Kenyan court system failed you and your daughter
I have a biiiiig dislike (for lack of a better word) for the Kenyan court. All said, we are past that stage. Am okay now.
Your daughter's father should be in jail...he kidnapped you ..n rapped you when was 18...he kepted you agsinst your will....
Iam not a psychologist, but in my view one of the reasons why people might judge you is the tone of your naration which is seems "emotionless"!?? Human beings like to be "drawn into your pain" somehow your narration tone does not seem to do that. My view, Iam might be really wrong🤷
😢
Am fine now. Do not feel sad
@@itsrelatableforreal kidnap, rape , torture and violence IS NOT FINE, YOU SHOULD BRING A COURT CASE AGAINST HIM, THEN ITS FINE, AS IT IS ITS NOT
Been there done that, the courts and the justice systems failed me - If you understood how flawed justice in Africa can sometimes be... I am not ready to walk that path again. I choose to be happy and just live my life now. Spent over 10 years grumbling and fighting, I am not doing that again. I am at a good place with myself and choose not spend my coming years fighting or chasing things. @@sahotamarie71
I'll later do a video answering all the questions I have received so far and you will probably see why I just choose to be happy that I am alive and live my happily after without bothering about that human.
@@itsrelatableforreal unbelievable
Thought you said in the first video that you had a son.
3 kids, 1 biological daughter and a bonus son and daughter
But which court will allow an under age child to be taken custody of by the father. I still don't get it, could he take you over from your parents an turn you into his wife.?
It's true people judge but some people are just expressing what they would do in the situation. Some are also just curious. Where are your siblings? As the last born is your family so poor no one can take on the guy? How can people say you dont care? What about visiting her at school But if you do this for the benefit of the girl dont you think he would have brainwashed her that you went with another man and you didnt want her. I've seen that happen.
That's typical of a narcissist!.
There is a reason why the child never came back
Of course there was a reason. He just wanted to frustrate me to going back to him which is absolutely impossible. He took advantage that I was young, broke and he had money to bribe everyone including the courts where I was denied rights because “ I couldn’t afford).
And personal choice- I do not want to be with him, so I will not go back even if he says the only way to see the child is to get back with him.
You were dealing with a narcissist.
You could have called the police, he is a criminal