18TH PARTY, TRYING NEW ICE CREAM, CRYING AGAIN - ANOREXIA RECOVERY

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  • Опубліковано 27 вер 2024
  • WEEKEND VLOG!
    Alisha's 18th PARTAAAAY!
    We tried the new Kinder Bueno ice creams and the new Haagen Dazs and they were sooooo goooood! I need some more ice cream in my life!
    Mum and I went for a rather windy walk it is SO BEAUTIFUL!
    I had my first ever bakery pretzel yaaaaas! AND bakery doughnut wooo!
    Also of course I cried again on deciding a snack lols, but I still did it, and I challenged instead of getting annoyed with myself for getting worked up. It is allllll part of the process!
    FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM: / elzani__

КОМЕНТАРІ • 346

  • @ronjahoffmann612
    @ronjahoffmann612 5 років тому +588

    I have some challenges for you, which would definitely challenge your eating disorder but you would also grow from them!!!!!
    - not asking for permission to eat
    - not saying "I haven't had this for ages"
    - reducing talks about food especially while eating or talking walks
    - have bigger main meals
    - try to not save the best til last
    - try a new food before your mom tries it
    - "just try it and eat it" without waiting and asking if it's amazing or saying "I bet it is amazing"

    • @Mia-ub3gy
      @Mia-ub3gy 5 років тому +65

      I second this!! I dont think it is helpful to consistently justify eating food by saying that you havent had it in ages, because you deserve it no matter what!!

    • @ewajackowska4115
      @ewajackowska4115 5 років тому +23

      I see I'm not the only one enjoyed by her doing all of those above. I am convinced she's aware of all of those (because of editing) but she seems not to be there to challenge her disorder yet. With her all the best!

    • @Ella-ps1lg
      @Ella-ps1lg 5 років тому +11

      Yes! - best way to rewire the brain!

    • @jaquelinegonzalez9411
      @jaquelinegonzalez9411 5 років тому +14

      Yes! They are the small but influential behaviors that hinder us in recovery.

    • @mymultiplelife
      @mymultiplelife 5 років тому +1

      I believe in you!!

  • @Coraline-jonesyy
    @Coraline-jonesyy 5 років тому +303

    Maybe you could work on not asking your mum if food is nice before eating it. Not all food will live up to our expectations but that's OK!! Love and best wishes 💕💕💕

  • @luciemcadams9016
    @luciemcadams9016 5 років тому +86

    Elzani, you don't need to be 'the best' at recovery. Thats just an endless pursuit that will end in exhaustion just like anorexia did. You cant be 'the best' at most things in life....honestly, its absolutely exhilarating Im finding, just to be average. Theres so much peace found there.

    • @larlutm
      @larlutm 5 років тому +5

      Lucie McAdams 100% agree with you, amazing and concise advice. So glad that you’ve found an imperfectly perfect way to live..that truly does bring you peace (as well as health and happiness of course!) 🕺😊🕺x

  • @amymclellan583
    @amymclellan583 5 років тому +64

    You definitely need more parts to lunch, such as crisps and a cereal bar, please try it!! As your snacks aren't adding anything extra as most people would, for example, have ice cream after their lunch AND something else later!!

    • @lucydefoubert3716
      @lucydefoubert3716 5 років тому

      Maybe just a yogurt or crisps with lunch would be a good start. And you need bigger cereal bowls!

  • @MadisonTiahn
    @MadisonTiahn 5 років тому +50

    Honestly girl I just found your channel. After having an eating disorder for 10 years I connect with your relationship with your mum. My mum is my world. She knows me and my illness better than myself. I know not everyone has someone like we do and I thank myself everyday I have her. Mums are the best. Everything you say and do with your mum, I did too. I know that you feel like you have to ask “Should I have it/try it/say it” etc, I did the same to my mum for years and every time she would say “of course!”. You don’t need too ask for ‘permission’ to give yourself a reason to do something. It is feeding your disorder. Maybe start to challenge yourself to stop asking. Regardless, keep fighting. Sending love. X

    • @onlyme7308
      @onlyme7308 5 років тому +1

      Madison Killer amen. My Mom is my everything. She’s my best friend too. Constant source of guidance, support, sanity, protection but most of all unconditional love 💕

    • @MadisonTiahn
      @MadisonTiahn 5 років тому +2

      Andrea ❤️❤️❤️

    • @crazymistake5293
      @crazymistake5293 5 років тому +1

      Madison Killer this is such a lovely comment xx your a very kind person xx hope your recovery goes well 💝🥰

    • @MadisonTiahn
      @MadisonTiahn 5 років тому +1

      Crazy Mistake thank you so much. ❤️❤️❤️

    • @crazymistake5293
      @crazymistake5293 5 років тому

      Madison Killer your worth it xx

  • @onlyme7308
    @onlyme7308 5 років тому +19

    There is a Winnie The Pooh quote but with added extra...
    “Always remember, you are braver than you believe, stronger than you think, more beautiful than you imagine and loved more than you know.”
    Brave girl. 🌻🌻🌻

  • @MadisonTiahn
    @MadisonTiahn 5 років тому +95

    I am obsessed with your mums hair (and your mum in general). 😍

    • @AngelicasRecovery
      @AngelicasRecovery 5 років тому

      Madison Killer same lol

    • @laurakate4489
      @laurakate4489 5 років тому +2

      Her mum is fantastic!

    • @MadisonTiahn
      @MadisonTiahn 5 років тому +3

      I swear her mum and my mum are twins in the way they act. I am so blessed. ❤️

  • @rachelthompson668
    @rachelthompson668 5 років тому +144

    You're doing so well Elazni but your main meals are so small which means the snacks you eat don't really boost your intake as much as you want them to, maybe at lunch try to have the sandwich/pitta with two sides, like a packet of crisps, a donut, a piece of fruit or a yogurt. Eating more during the day will really help instead of 'saving' foods til the evening. I've been in recovery for four years now and I'm going places and doing things I never thought I could, I've been travelling on my own in countries I can't speak the language, Im halfway through my degree, recovery is possible but it takes time, persistence and consistency. I believe you CAN do it, keep going!

  • @Squidaffy
    @Squidaffy 5 років тому +80

    Is she seeing a counselor and a nutritionist as well? She would REALLY benefit from it. She could share these videos with them.

  • @nanabarker8140
    @nanabarker8140 5 років тому +33

    Can you do a Q & A? Like what you do outside of food? Do you go to drs appts? Counseling? Group therapy? Dates? Friends? Those types of things.😊

  • @linaa4682
    @linaa4682 5 років тому +33

    You are such an inspiration Elzani, to those with and without an E.D. You show viewera what recovery is really like, rather than the stigma and stereotypes associated with these illnesses. You are one very brave girl, and I wish you the very best. Thank you for uploading such raw and honest content, however please remember to only upload content you feel comfortable with. Don't upload content that you aren't comfortable with for the sake of your viewers. Keep your health at the forefront. You can beat this illness, I believe in you x

  • @SarATuber1
    @SarATuber1 5 років тому +41

    I think you should try using a big spoon all the time because the small spoon is very disordered :/ Just a thought. I used to do that myself. Recovery is not just food related but so much more. Good luck :)

    • @kecrn4132
      @kecrn4132 5 років тому +1

      10101010 10 - 100% agree!

    • @gemma_dancer4169
      @gemma_dancer4169 5 років тому +1

      10101010 10 yes sometimes obviously it’s better to use small spoons but with eating disorders, small spoons are often used to slow down eating, taking very small mouthfulls

  • @caitlynallison5823
    @caitlynallison5823 5 років тому +53

    I think your mom should help make sure you are getting enough calories, you need to eat much more than the average person until you are weight restored but i dont feel it should be you that are tracking your calories. Otherwise you will need to be impatient if no one is making sure your are getting 3500 calories a day

  • @rachel.c.p9302
    @rachel.c.p9302 5 років тому +145

    I believe that the real issue is a continued resistance to weight gain. The way you hold your body (in camera poses), and appear to experience a sense of comfort from looking unwell, is very noticeable. Unless you commit to weight gain (which does not have to mean wanting it!), however terrifying, you will not progress. It seems that you are somehow wanting to 'recover' without doing this which, unfortunately, is simply not possible. If you have surrendered to the fact that you need to weight restore, there will be no such thing as "too much" food (you refer to this a lot). It's all very well challenging yourself to new foods but your over-focus on this is diverting attention away from the fact that you need to be taking in A LOT more calories on a daily basis. Why stop having the large chocolate bar before bed? If you are craving it, you need it. So have the giant crumpet, the cereal (with FULL FAT milk, not skimmed!) AND the chocolate bar! Now is not the time to replace one food item with another, it is a time for ADDING to what you are already eating. Elzani, I implore you to reflect on this...to acknowledge and challenge the fear of your body changing. Unlike many trying to recover from anorexia, you are very fortunate to still have a gut and brain that are still communicating hunger signals, so if this fear was not there, you would be at a healthy weight by now (as opposed to being pretty stagnant since November). Why are you scared of weight gain? What does an emaciated body give you? These are issues that would be helpful to explore with a therapist...

    • @lindsaywilliams3774
      @lindsaywilliams3774 5 років тому +16

      Rachel Phelps your insight is spot on. Well stated. Surrendering to weight gain is perhaps the hardest part. At least in my recovery experience

    • @prisvis3163
      @prisvis3163 5 років тому +5

      I'm proud of you trying, but I thinks some things can help you if you really want to change things)
      In the Netherlands you get a mealplan to gain weight. Every day the same amounts. Eating 3 times (a day) a full meal (how many spoons ed is on there), 3-4 times a snack (incl fruit) and also nutritional drinks (beside!) if needed. So your basic intake is enough for gaining. Inside the mealplan you can try some new things, BUT it's not the main priority.
      When you gained to a healty weight, there's the real start in recovery to begin with real challenges en trying new or scary foods.
      First priority is weightgain. Follow a mealplan (from specialized dietitian in e.d.) so you don't have to think a lot every day about the amounds etc, it's not you that have to deside, it's on the list (and of course you can eat new things BESIDE).
      Also... think about therapy, it will release the responsibility of your family and you will get the support you need and deserve.

    • @prisvis3163
      @prisvis3163 5 років тому +1

      The singing part of you and your sister, like it! So sweet. Had a smile on my face watching it. :-)

    • @tangerinecoral1822
      @tangerinecoral1822 5 років тому +2

      Best Comment

  • @ronjahoffmann612
    @ronjahoffmann612 5 років тому +148

    Your main meals are still so tiny.... please take care

    • @elzani6744
      @elzani6744  5 років тому +12

      Ronja Hoffmann more vids to come about this!

    • @humananonymous7927
      @humananonymous7927 5 років тому +4

      Ronja Hoffmann
      They looks quite big in my opinion, your portion sizes must be huge 🤷🏻‍♂️😂. I have a normal diet and my portion sizes are way smaller
      Than that . I think she eats enough . I think she just has to
      Work on the emotion behind it , because you can tell she still struggles with eating , but I’m glad she’s trying , I think she should take time with eating whatever she wants rather than shoving food down her throat , she won’t enjoy it , and it’ll only make the experience worse , at the moment she seems to be having 2,500 to 3,000 cal a day , which is great , baby steps are fine , the point is she’s eating :) I’m proud . Hopefully the stress will lessen over Time and food will be something she enjoys , rather than something she cry’s over .:)

    • @saskiafinnan4216
      @saskiafinnan4216 5 років тому +5

      Hooman yes but your opinion isn’t going to make her gain weight. If she isn’t gaining on that amount then she needs to eat more, if she is then she’s doing fine.

    • @ohwellwhateverr
      @ohwellwhateverr 5 років тому

      How are they tiny? That plate of chilli for example - that to me looks like a normal portion.

    • @saskiafinnan4216
      @saskiafinnan4216 5 років тому +3

      @@ohwellwhateverr but she IS anorexic, not her skinniness isn't natural like your's may be. Thats why she needs to be eating at least a third more food than a normal person with her age and activity level and as long as she is doing that then she should gain weight. She may be naturally skinny but no one is as skinny and malnourished as she is now "naturally"

  • @ItsMeganMumford
    @ItsMeganMumford 5 років тому +35

    I’m so proud of you and how you’re pushing yourself!

  • @Mia-ub3gy
    @Mia-ub3gy 5 років тому +58

    Just because you could do better does not mean that you arent already doing great!!!

    • @lucydefoubert3716
      @lucydefoubert3716 5 років тому

      Agree! The things you have challenged yourself to and faced head on are amazing and courageous. Maybe now take a step back and think about what you'd like to work on mentally, like improving your confidence. Things entirely unrelated to food. Wishing you all the best as you're just a lovely lovely girl

  • @taliaaustin9818
    @taliaaustin9818 5 років тому +8

    You live in such a beautiful place I’m so jealous. I love the relationship you have with your family it’s so loving and supportive. Keep up the good work elzani xx

  • @anonymous4457
    @anonymous4457 5 років тому +31

    You need to learn that FOOD IS NOT LIFE, unless you’re a chef or food critic, idk. Food is a means to an end, fuel to do things you love. Yes it can be enjoyable, but it should not run our life. What is your life outside of food? Seeing a therapist would help you discover that. Your family is not trained to treat you, they give in to your constant reassurance seeking and this is unhelpful. You’re putting yourself out there on youtube, so expect constructive criticism.

  • @laraarif5088
    @laraarif5088 4 роки тому +2

    I had a meltdown yesterday after eating more than usual after lunch. thank you for showing the low parts of recovery, the tears and difficult moments, and also showing yourself pushing through them and eating. you truly inspire me so much elzani

  • @presivs5526
    @presivs5526 5 років тому +65

    I'm really proud of you! But I'm also genuinely worried about the amount you eat and how little you've gained....like barely anything.... I eat double size portions....like i would have two pita breads.... Or try both ice creams at once... I tend to eat the whole pot of ice cream....and maintain while doing that so please please try and up a bit.... You need to gain a lot lot lot more or else it's never gonna end

    • @sparkles877
      @sparkles877 5 років тому +2

      @@ohwellwhateverr - Please stop with your unhelpful, triggering comments. You clearly have no understanding of eating disorders and are likely causing serious damage

    • @ohwellwhateverr
      @ohwellwhateverr 5 років тому +1

      Presivs Sorry, I was totally out of line with that. You’re right, I don’t have an ED and I was ignorant about how recovery actually works. It’s not greed to compensate in recovery for the calories you’ve missed out on through your ED, and I’m sorry if I upset you.

  • @andymorgo7856
    @andymorgo7856 5 років тому +9

    You are doing it amazing elzani! But you need to eat more please! Ik it is hard and no one is gonna minimize the way that it feels to be out of your zone of control and eat more but you have to do it for a real recover, for you health and for your life, we are with you in every single step you do, i'm cheering you and hoping the best for you, you will be out of this, keep fighting 💕

  • @luluflowers9954
    @luluflowers9954 5 років тому +33

    How many scoops? Girl eat the whole tub! It's safe I promise to go for seconds, it makes you strong and you NEED it. Hang in there!

    • @ohwellwhateverr
      @ohwellwhateverr 5 років тому +1

      Who tf eats a whole tub of ice cream in one go? No. The sugar crash would be horrendous

    • @isabelpreuss1660
      @isabelpreuss1660 3 роки тому

      @@ohwellwhateverr shut up

    • @cvh6098
      @cvh6098 3 роки тому +1

      @@ohwellwhateverr from another comment of you under this video, id have thought you learned your lesson and not say any triggering, ignorant stuff anymore. clearly i was too optimistic. please, if you dont have any knowledge of or experience with ed recovery and the HUGE (for normal people) amounts it takes, just dont comment. its not that hard, just stop. its incredibly damaging and problematic.

    • @ohwellwhateverr
      @ohwellwhateverr 3 роки тому +1

      @@cvh6098 I understand how EDs and recovery works. Calories come before nutrition, I get it. But there are healthier and more sustainable ways to bulk eat than overloading your system with cheap sugar. No one asked you to be such a sanctimonious twat.

    • @cvh6098
      @cvh6098 3 роки тому +1

      @@ohwellwhateverr hi, thanks for your lovely compliment, i appreciate it :) the thing is, "healthy" is defined differently in ed recovery and processed food is actually preferable to our body since its much easier to digest! and thats only one of the physical reasons but of course the psychological factor is also very important! hope you have a nice day

  • @tinawoods7655
    @tinawoods7655 5 років тому +16

    To really do some damage to the ed I tried to eat the most calorific food possible ie go through sandwiches in shop and choose highest cal. Otherwise can seem like you’re doing well and eating a lot when if you add it all up it’s not that calorific. X

  • @marianastefanova6875
    @marianastefanova6875 5 років тому +5

    Elzani , every time you think about quiting or think that it is too hard , just remind yourself of your goal , which is to be strong , to lift weights , to be able to run fast and be agile , to have a really strong body ! Every time I don't feel like going to training because I'm lazy at the moment , I just remind myself that I want to be atlethic , to do pull ups , push ups, hand stands, pistol squats etc and I get motivated to crush the workout. Hope this helps you in any way ! Just remember, keep reminding yourself of the end goal !

    • @Snickerdoods.x
      @Snickerdoods.x 5 років тому +3

      It's not helpful to push yourself though when you aren't really feeling it mentally. This can lead to a disordered relationship with exercise. It's not being lazy. You CAN take breaks from exercise. If you're torturing yourself mentally to work out, it's actually not that great for your overall health and wellbeing.

  • @inluvwithglitter
    @inluvwithglitter 5 років тому +42

    You should try two eggs with ur egg sandwich

    • @inluvwithglitter
      @inluvwithglitter 5 років тому +10

      And 4 slices of toast.

    • @moonflower9566
      @moonflower9566 5 років тому +1

      and maybe add some meat & avocado!

    • @Snickerdoods.x
      @Snickerdoods.x 5 років тому +2

      And butter would help too lol plus it would be more tasty

  • @learning2live_846
    @learning2live_846 5 років тому +38

    This is just my observation, but I notice you tend to reminisce about the past alot. Do you think you have a fear of growing up, getting out in the real world, becoming independent, @ not have the constant reassurance from your parents? I only say this, because this is what I struggled with...my mom and I are extremely close, and it was hard for me to break away and be my own person. I almost felt guilty for doing so. You are such a sweet soul though💕

    • @Maisie.Meehan
      @Maisie.Meehan 5 років тому +4

      i definitely see that. Alisha seems a lot more independent and mature despite being younger.

    • @learning2live_846
      @learning2live_846 5 років тому

      @@Maisie.Meehan Very true!

    • @hilhil2101
      @hilhil2101 4 роки тому +2

      Elzani never discusses adult things...career goals, interests, sex, relationships, politics, future plans. She doesn’t say she wants her own place or to go to school.

  • @greeentealeaf
    @greeentealeaf 5 років тому +12

    Elzani, you always talk about what you want to do when you get better, but you must eat more! Your portions are so tiny, it won't help you to get better and live your life the way you want to.

  • @laurahadwin2700
    @laurahadwin2700 5 років тому +3

    Elzani well done for not weighing out stuff!!!!! I'm stopping weighing my foods at the moment and it's soooo difficult,
    but you can do it, and allow yourself the freedom to just eat, you cannot live normally aslong as you weigh your food! Give in to when you want to eat, because you need to have more for meals and snacks, otherwise you will be forever thinking about your next meal because you will forever be needing more 💗💗 cannot wait for your next vlog, you are blossoming x

  • @lucyc5134
    @lucyc5134 5 років тому +2

    I literally love your mum she’s so amazing , lovely and just so supportive ❤️ the same goes for your sisters!! I absolutely love your videos... keep going your doing amazing work on eating a little bit more everyday! I BELIEVE IN YOU 💜

  • @emilywilliams3385
    @emilywilliams3385 5 років тому +27

    Living independently with a eating disorder without no one there is a real test ha! I’ve been living alone for 7 years now I’m 28 gonna say right here right now it’s a real test of mind strength

    • @throughrose-colouredeyes6284
      @throughrose-colouredeyes6284 5 років тому

      i feel you. i'm 28 and have been alone for years with it too. how do you deal with the depression side of things? i send my love. x

    • @emilywilliams3385
      @emilywilliams3385 5 років тому

      through rose-coloured eyes unfortunately due to having a eating disorder since age 10 I have developed gastroperasis and so now I can’t eat my stomach is in paralysis so even a piece of toast can make me very poorly, and so the depression is unfortunately very bad indeed, anorexia destroyed my teen life and now as a adult it kicked my backside xx

    • @Snickerdoods.x
      @Snickerdoods.x 5 років тому +2

      Ugh yes it's so hard when you live alone. I eat all but maybe 2 meals alone each week, and even sometimes I don't have meals with other people at all. It makes things difficult. I wish I had people around to help keep me accountable. Of course we're the ones who have to do the work but it definitely helps to have encouragement and loved ones pushing you.

    • @emilywilliams3385
      @emilywilliams3385 5 років тому +1

      Gina Marie when you have encouragement it’s brilliant, anorexia destroyed my digestive system I’ve only myself and the illness to blame, I think we can support one another, if you need someone to talk to about it I’m here 😊 if you have Instagram my name on there is @emily_elizabeth_williams xx

    • @emilywilliams3385
      @emilywilliams3385 5 років тому

      10101010 10 very true it’s also a equal test of willpower, you have your freedom and your own pad to do as you want when you want but sometimes anorexia can rear its ugly head xx

  • @tmsts002
    @tmsts002 5 років тому +36

    You're definitely still restricting, regardless of what you believe. You clearly are. You'll never get better doing this, and you'll continue to live in suffering and pain. You need to be real with yourself honestly sweet. This isn't recovery. This is you being comfortable. If you're comfortable, you're not challenging the eating disorder. And if you're not doing that then you're not recovering. You'll end up back in hospital at this rate💔

  • @elizabeth6540
    @elizabeth6540 5 років тому +173

    CHALLENGE: FULL DAY OF NOT TALKING ABOUT FOOD

    • @kecrn4132
      @kecrn4132 5 років тому +8

      Elizabeth Van Tuinen - in eating disorders inpatient and day programs....we talk about food daily....multiple times a day....we talk about it every time we eat....it’s not abnormal.

    • @theonethatgotaway680
      @theonethatgotaway680 5 років тому +4

      I’d love to see a video about that too. I’d like to see her play her guitar or talk about things other than food.

    • @cookedapple
      @cookedapple 5 років тому +10

      @@kecrn4132 it is abnormal if it's ED driven. We talk about food because we're obsessed with it because we're starving. We talk about food because we think about it all the time, we want to talk about it because it's all we care about.

    • @kecrn4132
      @kecrn4132 5 років тому +4

      Emma - her body is still starving!!! Even tho she is eating very well, her body is still extremely underweight and malnourished so it is normal! Our bodies are still in starvation mode at the very least, until we reach our set point....then depending what damage needs repair, we could remain malnourished for months after that. As we get closer to our set point and the malnutrition slowly gets better, we become less and less obsessed with food. But, with 11 inpatient admissions to a program, I don’t see Elzani’s “obsession” with food being any different than myself or anyone else I have been in with who started out at a very low weight.

    • @cookedapple
      @cookedapple 5 років тому +2

      @@kecrn4132 lol oh dear.. if that's how you look at it - then it's normal to restrict, to binge and purge and to over-exercise and we should expect that? No, the point of recovery is to try overcome that. Talking about food all the time is not normal, it's an eating disorder thing that also needs to be worked on. You can't change your mind, thoughts about food may never go, but not talking about it is something to work on.

  • @drowzing
    @drowzing 5 років тому +5

    your mum is so supportive it makes me so happy:(

  • @nothankyou7978
    @nothankyou7978 5 років тому +3

    It’s hard to watch you struggle, Elzani. But, that’s the truth about recovery... it’s really difficult. Thank you for being vulnerable... it’s not easy. You’ll overcome it, though❤️💪🏼

  • @charlottep3326
    @charlottep3326 5 років тому +9

    Sending lots of love Elzani. I feel like we're friends (not to sound crazy haha) and just want to give you a big squeeze ❤️

  • @issymather8116
    @issymather8116 5 років тому +4

    YOU ARE DOING AN AMAZING JOB!
    you are an inspiration to me and so many others in recovery!!
    Why not try and have a smoothie or milkshake/iced chocolate as a drink with each meal? and have the chocolate and the cheerios and the crumpet?
    THERE ARE NO RULES IN RECOVERY as long as you EAT ENOUGH and let your body REST so it can get strong and you don't burn off any calories that could go towards building a peachy bum! :)
    If you struggle with eating big main meals (I know EDs mess up digestion as I have experienced this!) you could add a few extra snack breaks during the day, like instead of 2 or 3 you could have 6 or more breaks in the day where you have a donut, cereal, bagel, chocolate, etc!! (more chances for snack chats!)

  • @Tnc874
    @Tnc874 2 роки тому

    i am so glad she shared this journey of hers... from the bottom. its just so pure, honest and raw how confusing and overwhelming it is to recover. and even though it is, its still possible. you have to push yourself thru the tears . and you need support. but with or without support, you have to do it.. Kudos to Elzani!!!!

  • @lexijade5566
    @lexijade5566 5 років тому +4

    I feel like we haven’t had an Elzani video in ages, so happy to see this :))

  • @sophia9677
    @sophia9677 5 років тому +4

    *You* are divine Elzani !! Hope you're not too overwhelmed by all the comments.. you're doing great, keep working hard and improving ❤️ Wishing you the best

  • @eddavan1624
    @eddavan1624 5 років тому +2

    How lucky that u have a mother who eats the same as u in each meal❤️❤️ god bless her

  • @samatharowney6243
    @samatharowney6243 5 років тому +12

    Get so excited for your uploads x

  • @cassidyshoop1047
    @cassidyshoop1047 5 років тому +13

    You seem like you’re really improving when it comes to not procrastinating to eat. Of course you know you still need to be eating more which I know you’re working on, but it seems like when you’re about to eat you’re spending less time talking about the food and more time eating it. Good job :)

  • @jessmando1
    @jessmando1 5 років тому

    Your mom is such an amazing woman. She is so caring to you and loves you so much and I love how willing she is to help you as much as she can. My mom usually lets me get through things and figure out a better diet alone. You’re very very lucky to have such a kind souled and lovey mom with such a beautiful heart.

  • @throughrose-colouredeyes6284
    @throughrose-colouredeyes6284 5 років тому +26

    why don't you get some ensures, or some fortisips lovely? for me to gain any weight, i needed to have 8 ensures, along with 3 meals and 3 snacks a day.

    • @rosieposie9630
      @rosieposie9630 5 років тому +1

      8 ensures a week? Or in a day?

    • @throughrose-colouredeyes6284
      @throughrose-colouredeyes6284 5 років тому +1

      @@rosieposie9630 a day. 🙈 it was in hospital.

    • @rosieposie9630
      @rosieposie9630 5 років тому +1

      @@throughrose-colouredeyes6284 oh...i cant imagine that 😬 i had to drink 2 a day and it was a pain in the ass,...
      But i hope it was all worth it 😊

    • @Remy4300
      @Remy4300 3 роки тому

      so did i, lemon ones were the only ones i could tolerate

  • @andreear8625
    @andreear8625 5 років тому +12

    Yaaay you posted
    So proud of you for your bravery ❤️ keep going

  • @tania.4139
    @tania.4139 5 років тому +2

    Tal vez jamás leas esto, ni lo entiendas, pero qué valiente eres, te admiro tanto tanto, lograste superarte en todo esto, lograste superar tus miedos y complejidades, de alguna forma, me enorgullece bastante, eres increíble, oye, maravillosa.
    You’re amazing girl!

  • @TopTray08
    @TopTray08 5 років тому +2

    Guys why not just accept Elzani talking about what the hell she feels she needs to for her recovery, she’ll progress naturally if you support her not apprehend her, it’s small steps, not mountains in a day.

  • @emsmith8943
    @emsmith8943 5 років тому +5

    How come I don’t like watching any other youtubers eat but can watch hours on end of elzani eating 😂

    • @emsmith8943
      @emsmith8943 5 років тому +2

      Part 2: you look so much healthier recently, your skin is literally glowing. So excited to see your progress!

  • @moonchild07613
    @moonchild07613 5 років тому +2

    You are Lucky you have someone who eats with you...😭
    In my family nobody likes sweets only me and I always sit alone there eating and trying to Focus not to cry while watching something!

  • @lovestruckbyyou22.87
    @lovestruckbyyou22.87 Рік тому +1

    Her breaking down over crumpets and chocolate broke my heart I’ve never been diagnosed with and an ED but my family thinks I have an binge eating ED I would only eat once for a month then binge eat the next then I would nearly have an heart attack at the thought of gaining a bit of weight then I would go on a diet every week to try to lose weight now I only eat once or twice a day and I can’t eat much my Dr said I need to eat three meals a day but I just can’t do it I feel hunger but have no desire to eat and I’ll not eat until my stomach begins to hurt from hunger at the very end of the day and then eat a snack and hour or two after a meal after only eating once..

  • @rebeccaklein3952
    @rebeccaklein3952 5 років тому +7

    You have to try lasagna it's so DIVINE! I love it

  • @morgannespeirs6777
    @morgannespeirs6777 5 років тому

    I have a challenge for you! For breakfast (or lunch or dinner!) have porridge cooked with milk, and top it with banana, (and any other fruit) and then put chocolate on so it melts in😍😍 it’s so yummy PS, you are doing so well, each day challenge yourself more and more but making your portions bigger, trying new foods etc ! You are inspiring so many💗

  • @KimHoeltje
    @KimHoeltje 5 років тому

    Wow!!! I want to come to the party!!! 🎉 You are doing amazing Elzani! You didn’t get sick overnight so you can’t expect to recover overnight. It’s a journey. With ups and downs. Stay strong and know that you are doing a DIVINE job❤️

  • @GracieLions
    @GracieLions 4 роки тому

    The struggle is real, and daily, and you are facing it like a Warrior. 🌟🙏❤️

  • @jacksjacks9927
    @jacksjacks9927 5 років тому

    Your mum is a saint, we see you on your vlogs eating, I wonder what happens in between times¡ If anything u owe everything for your mum to get better, she would be the happiest mum in the world

  • @kecrn4132
    @kecrn4132 5 років тому +1

    Amazing work, Elzani! Super jealous of both of your ice creams! I have never seen either one where I live! Ice cream is the best....and last weekend, I actually made homemade pretzels! We dipped half of them in salt and the other half in cinnamon and sugar! So yummy!! Keep up the good work! Keep pushing!💕😘💗💖

  • @elliebrace7637
    @elliebrace7637 5 років тому +1

    You need to keep pushing yourself and challenge those ed thoughts you are doing so good and I believe you will beat this !! It took be a 6 months to finally realise that I need an increase to recover and in the end its worth it all !! please do not put yourself down about not doing well !! but please try and increase it will be for the best :)

  • @darkreunionkaidou2694
    @darkreunionkaidou2694 5 років тому +6

    I love your videos as they are so inspiring and you are such a strong person with a loving family. Xx❤️✨

  • @juliansgma
    @juliansgma 5 років тому +1

    I dip my pretzels in mustard. Your mom is awesome she has so much energy! You doing well elzani! 👍

  • @amymclellan583
    @amymclellan583 5 років тому +4

    Do you ever meet up with friends elzani? xx

  • @nicolexo8020
    @nicolexo8020 5 років тому

    I think you are doing amazing. Like wow. But it breaks my heart watching you cry while you eat. Bless you. People are telling you to double your meal size but honestly your doing way better then I thought you would. I think the amount your eating is great so far. Keep up

  • @jenniferhofkes4067
    @jenniferhofkes4067 3 роки тому

    I really like to watch your videos alot. Your a very bright and beautiful girl. It seems like you always stay positive during your recovery. Keep it up your doing great... love ya

  • @inespires4127
    @inespires4127 5 років тому +1

    for night snack, maybe cake, pudding or something like that.

  • @biffalump
    @biffalump 5 років тому +1

    Hello beauty lovely to see you , keep going push yourself it will be so worth it ! Lots of love xx

  • @ellexx4129
    @ellexx4129 5 років тому +1

    You are so cool! I know that you will win the fight !❤️ Thank you for your amazing videos !

  • @kecrn4132
    @kecrn4132 5 років тому

    Happy birthday to Elzani’s Mom! 🎊🎁🍾🛍🎂🎉💕😘💓🥂🍷🍰

  • @XD-rm6yf
    @XD-rm6yf 5 років тому +2

    i one day i can come back to watch another video on your channel and see you absolutely free- enjoying whatever you want and not obsessing over food or recovery. i want that for u so bad

  • @HeyFromTay
    @HeyFromTay 5 років тому

    I love dipping a fresh pretzel in melted cheese😍 In the USA it’s very common to do this! I highly recommend it next time you get a pretzel!😍

  • @tia5505
    @tia5505 5 років тому +1

    your face @ 5:19 im absolutely living

  • @panagiotadrakontaeidi7624
    @panagiotadrakontaeidi7624 5 років тому

    You re LOVELY♡You re doing great and you re helping so many others💪💪❤Stay strong stay calm and keep fighting❤💙💚💛💜💖

  • @180chrissi
    @180chrissi 5 років тому +1

    I know this might be a huge challenge but pretzels with plain butter are amazing! 😍 Greetings from a fellow recovery warrior in Germany!

  • @fishranaway
    @fishranaway 5 років тому +8

    that egg wasn't 'runny' its was undercooked mate

  • @annepadiz5323
    @annepadiz5323 5 років тому

    you are doing amazing :) love seeing your good progress

  • @jessmando1
    @jessmando1 5 років тому +1

    In America we dip pretzels in melted cheese

  • @nadine1456
    @nadine1456 5 років тому +1

    wow how your mum has patience

  • @impossibleclf9166
    @impossibleclf9166 5 років тому

    proud of you gurl!

  • @giulia7429
    @giulia7429 5 років тому +2

    This donut is called ,,berliner” in Germany

    • @Winter_Dream
      @Winter_Dream 5 років тому

      That's interesting because in Norway we also call them berliner (boller)!

  • @hannahrr366
    @hannahrr366 5 років тому

    Rooting for you always💗💗💗

  • @ev9617
    @ev9617 5 років тому +1

    Joining the choir telling you to listen to your hunger (and beyond, when necessary), committing to weight restoration and keeping in mind that there's NO such thing as too much food in recovery. I know that you're fighting your ED, but you're unfortunately fooling yourself if yo think that just because your behaviours aren't the worst that they've ever been, you're recovering. Right now you're fighting both your ED and recovery, which is clearly very very strenuous (been there, darling), but you've got to dive in head first or you'll be in "recovery" forever. If your ED is telling you one thing, you need to do the opposite. When you've got two alternatives in front of you, your ED might tell you to have none, your mum may only have one (or none, and that's okay too), but you should be having both and not settle for the compromise between recovery and the disorder. There's no compromising with Anorexia, and compromises aren't going to make you recovered. Harsh? Yes, but that's life. You need to eat more than your family members, they don't have to eat with you, they're not the ones who need to gain weight or face food fears. It's hard, and I'm glad you've got a supportive family backing you up, but you're the one who needs to do the work. Do you have a meal plan at all? Any way to make sure you're eating AT LEAST 3500 kcal, more if there's anything you fancy or if you're hungry. 3500 kcal MINIMUM. Every day.
    It will get easier, but right now you've got to increase your intake drastically. In your last video your mum said she still worries that you'll die, and she's not wrong to do so. It's time to commit to weight gain, love, you'll never recover mentally unless you restore your weight - as much as that may suck.

  • @aristahenriot7450
    @aristahenriot7450 5 років тому +1

    You are doing really well 👍👍👍👍 xxxxx

  • @tinypotato6909
    @tinypotato6909 5 років тому +1

    Have you experienced extreme hunger yet?
    You still seem to be eating very small controlled amounts.
    Give in to the hunger Elzani eat as much as you can.

  • @georgieroberts8697
    @georgieroberts8697 5 років тому +1

    She’s doing so so so well... but need nutrition babbbbbyyyy! ♥️

  • @rebeccamorrison1313
    @rebeccamorrison1313 5 років тому +1

    I woke up thinking "i swear to god if elzani hasn't uploaded a new vid ima throw a fit" hahaha yay i was in luck!

  • @gemma_dancer4169
    @gemma_dancer4169 5 років тому

    You should do the “only eating McDonald’s for a day” challenge!!

  • @panagiotadrakontaeidi7624
    @panagiotadrakontaeidi7624 5 років тому

    You know you should do a hometour in one of ur vlogs cause DAAAAMMNN I dont understand your home rooms organization AT ALL! 😂😂😂

  • @sarasoso2095
    @sarasoso2095 5 років тому +1

    oh no no no Your doing it perfectly I am so proud of you and I am so happy for you .. you are so strong

  • @katycampbell4724
    @katycampbell4724 Рік тому

    Caroline I am always here for you if you ever want to talk( text) I am so sorry you have had such a shit time , I feel like I really know you , you are a ‘virtual ‘ best friend ! I’ve followed you now for 6 years and am so in awe of you trying so hard to recover I am too😢and yes I still see my team 2 weeks , bloods etc FFS
    LOVED Clare too

  • @katherinegoddard6672
    @katherinegoddard6672 2 роки тому

    How about dipping it in cream cheese?

  • @zedhem
    @zedhem 5 років тому +3

    Omg lol the party looked terrifying

  • @allisonlacey9964
    @allisonlacey9964 5 років тому

    Bless your Mum!!!! Your Mum will need to take the reigns every now and then Elzani to keep you going in the right direction and give you a little nudge every now and then, and take away the anorexic indecisiveness that pops up. I would also suggest some supplement drinks on top of your daily intake - fortisips, ensure plus - this can be identified as your daily medicine. Keep fighting the good fight beautiful Elzani 💕💕💕💕💕🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺

  • @denisedoogan703
    @denisedoogan703 4 роки тому

    Do you live in Blackpool?

  • @ΔανάηΒαρελη
    @ΔανάηΒαρελη 4 роки тому

    I had anorexia for 3 months in summer I know it is not very long but I lost a lot of kilos and now I am in recovery at first I started eating normal and healthy this is recovery or not? But now I have extreme hunger an I am eating a lot of sweet this is normal? I mean this is not a binge? And I don't know what to do because I have an extreme bloating every time I eat to much. Please help me❤ Also you are perfect💕😊

    • @cilleriew
      @cilleriew 4 роки тому

      Δανάη Βαρελη it’s completely normal to have extreme hunger :) it might just have been 3 months but your body still needs to get filled up and restored again :)

  • @izzydunne5155
    @izzydunne5155 5 років тому

    U should make a video about your story

  • @justahuman6067
    @justahuman6067 5 років тому +1

    Elzani, your doing well with challenging foods but you NEED to triple your portions. I eat more then you and I'm at a perfectly healthy weight. YOU NEED TO EAT MORE, please! Stay strong ❤️

  • @literallydonttalktomepleas4145
    @literallydonttalktomepleas4145 3 роки тому

    i really miss this ice cream...

  • @whatsthestorymorningglory61
    @whatsthestorymorningglory61 5 років тому +2

    You are trying so desperately to „do well“, „get better“ or „be normal“. It‘s heartbreaking! You really want all those things, you are trying so so hard. But it takes a lot of willpower and strength from you. Anorexia is clinging toy you because you are too fragile still. Your portions are not big enough. You really have to gain weight to get better, sweetheart! It‘s a challenge, but it‘s the only way to do it.
    Maybe it‘s about time to get some extra help, e.g. a therapist or a mealplan? I‘m sending you lots of love!

  • @no1Animallover101JAB
    @no1Animallover101JAB 5 років тому +1

    Try eating alone and not when other people eat just learn to eat when you feel hungry hun x

  • @TashaMcGxD
    @TashaMcGxD 5 років тому +6

    Omg everyone going on about elzani and talking before she eats...think about when you've done something that makes you anxious you look for reassurance doing it its the same thiiiiing

    • @Winter_Dream
      @Winter_Dream 5 років тому +1

      I think everyone can relate at some point, I just believe people are worried about her because theres not been much progression in this aspect of her recovery. It's so hard for her but she has to push through to get further 😕

    • @TashaMcGxD
      @TashaMcGxD 5 років тому +2

      @@Winter_Dream 100%!! This is more for those comments I've seen saying its annoying as someone with anxiety would be the same with different things like resurance I've turned everything off before i leave the house or i would say to people oh is it ok that i have this food because I've only had so many calories etc...it really takes up alot of my time 😂

    • @kecrn4132
      @kecrn4132 5 років тому

      Moustasha - yes!! Thank you for saying this!!

    • @Maisie.Meehan
      @Maisie.Meehan 5 років тому

      yes but the whole idea is that she's trying to recover and get rid of her disordered habits- and the constant need for reassurance is very much a habit.
      What would happen if she was on her own one day with nobody there to reassure her that she could eat something? It's very challenging i totally understand it- I still do the same thing sometimes and feel a lot more comfortable if someone else reassures me to eat something- but it's so important to be able to motivate and challenge yourself and not be too reliant on others to do it for you.

    • @kecrn4132
      @kecrn4132 5 років тому

      XFabuMazX - it’s just that not all changes can happen at the same time....esp when someone is only receiving support from her family and not professionals...I have noticed so much change in Elzani since the Start! So I have zero doubts that she is going to recover and get rid of all the ED habits in time!

  • @humananonymous7927
    @humananonymous7927 5 років тому

    Ronja Hoffmann
    They looks quite big in my opinion, your portion sizes must be huge 🤷🏻‍♂️😂. I have a normal diet and my portion sizes are way smaller
    Than that . I think she eats enough . I think she just has to
    Work on the emotion behind it , because you can tell she still struggles with eating , but I’m glad she’s trying , I think she should take time with eating whatever she wants rather than shoving food down her throat , she won’t enjoy it , and it’ll only make the experience worse , at the moment she seems to be having 2,500 to 3,000 cal a day , which is great , baby steps are fine , the point is she’s eating :) I’m proud . Hopefully the stress will lessen over Time and food will be something she enjoys , rather than something she cry’s over .:)