Why my husband doesn’t have a job right now

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  • Опубліковано 14 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 347

  • @linda22_
    @linda22_ 17 днів тому +132

    Stop making excuses for him. He’s 10 years older than you, you’re not his mother. He has kids, so he needs to push through. It’s tough, but come on.

    • @HeyArnoldGotAFootballHead
      @HeyArnoldGotAFootballHead 12 днів тому +7

      He is dealing with health problems

    • @asabovesobelow7981
      @asabovesobelow7981 3 дні тому +10

      @@HeyArnoldGotAFootballHead who isn't?

    • @sunflower_fieldgirl
      @sunflower_fieldgirl 2 дні тому

      @@asabovesobelow7981 my husband has severe asthma. Hr has chronic pain from it. That doesn't stop him. He works 10-12 hrs a day

  • @MadisonBriggsArtchick
    @MadisonBriggsArtchick 19 днів тому +121

    I am going to comment once. I have all kinds of empathy for those dealing with depression (I experience it) but I don’t have empathy for someone taking advantage of their spouse’s compassion and determination to do what it takes to make it while they wallow. Please don’t make excuses for him. Please don’t take responsibility for him. You can’t motivate another person and you are going to lose your own self if you continue to try. Tell him YOU CAN’T and WON’T take care of the family on your own. If he needs help, he needs to get it! This isn’t time for childish behavior from him. I would seriously consider separating if he doesn’t step up NOW. I don’t mean to sound harsh, but I am 66 years old and I have been where you are. You can’t change him.

    • @gypsyislandgal1118
      @gypsyislandgal1118 19 днів тому +26

      Exactly, he’s still mourning a friend who died two months ago? That man is dead and gone. Cry and get yourself up to provide for your family. Thank God you’re still in the land of the living, have a beautiful wife and two children. He needs to go DoorDash or go hit up Amazon or Walmart or even a grocery store at night to restock.

    • @Gioli565
      @Gioli565 18 днів тому +10

      Amen!

    • @catherinerose1607
      @catherinerose1607 6 днів тому +5

      Same. I’m 65 and I work full time. Parents and in laws won’t be around forever to lean on and live with.

    • @sjbutler2330
      @sjbutler2330 3 дні тому +3

      I am a divorced woman, and so thankful that I am single, raised my daughter myself, and do not have to deal with a crazy husband who walked out on us both only to remarry two other women down the road!. I dogged a bullet. Get out while the going s good. He doesn't want to provide for your family?

  • @14elvira14
    @14elvira14 19 днів тому +124

    Men with families, WORK. No to little excuses are acceptable. Get smart, mama!

    • @redrock740
      @redrock740 19 днів тому +17

      Yes, it is better to have the man work two jobs, and the woman stay at home with the kids and work remote jobs from home.

    • @theresaruiz-dn1pe
      @theresaruiz-dn1pe 17 днів тому

      @@redrock740 It is best for both parties to work in order to lightens the load on the other.

    • @AnnetteSloan-n4w
      @AnnetteSloan-n4w 16 днів тому

      ​@@redrock740if he's watching the kids . A parent has to watch kids. Why does it have to be gender role. I think it's great he's staying to raise kids.

    • @josemejia9956
      @josemejia9956 12 днів тому +2

      @@redrock740that is hilarious 🤣

    • @sixteen.candles.4644
      @sixteen.candles.4644 11 днів тому +4

      It's crazy shes working and hes not. I have mental hewlth issues but I've worked. Come on.

  • @shawnee66
    @shawnee66 12 днів тому +30

    You are your husband's enabler. That is a hard position to be in. You have to want more for you and your kids. They depend on you. Everytime you do a paycheck video his bank account is in the negative. How can he spend money he knows neither of you have? I pray that you find a way out.

  • @BooBoo_Cat
    @BooBoo_Cat 18 днів тому +78

    My husband and I have worked opposite shifts for the last 20 years in order to always have someone to take care of our children. We worked at the same place and would literally swap the kids in the parking lot every day. You do what you have to do in order to make things work.

    • @midwestpanther98
      @midwestpanther98 13 днів тому +2

      That's sad, exchanging the children like a divorced couple. Not like the good ol days

    • @chrischilds2231
      @chrischilds2231 12 днів тому +1

      Things will never change when you just "do what you gotta do" that's why life is getting harder and harder for us. We just "do what we gotta do" what's the future gonna look like for them kids? Guess they'll just "do what they gotta do"🤷🏾‍♂️

    • @debbieharris1628
      @debbieharris1628 11 днів тому +4

      Listen, I understand. My ex-husband and I also worked opposite shifts and sometimes I'd have to leave earlier to drop kiddo off with him so that she could ride back home with him. Other times my mom and best friend would do the exchange; when I worked overnight Mom watched my kid overnight and then she'd take her to work with her, where my best friend would pick her up and watch her all day. This was a desperately needed blessing because neither of them charged me and I was able to earn money knowing my child was safe and cared for by people who actually love her. Things are much better now but yeah, you have to do what you have to do. I had my child in daycare twice, and the last time was horrible. She came home sick every time, with scratches and cuts, never an explanation, and she became more anxious and fearful of leaving. I pulled her back out and went back to the family shuffle.
      I understand and I see you, Mama ❤

    • @josemejia9956
      @josemejia9956 10 днів тому +1

      @@BooBoo_Cat and this is living your best life? Sad innit

    • @alabamacountry9127
      @alabamacountry9127 9 днів тому +2

      @@debbieharris1628 so true its not like 1970 anymore kids can't be left just anywhere. And kids now don't pay attention to what is going on around them anymore either.

  • @Sdk123-p7v
    @Sdk123-p7v 19 днів тому +69

    I recommend he does gig work- Uber, DoorDash, Walmart spark, Amazon, anything. I’ve been doing it with mental health issues and after being laid off. But applying for jobs is too exhausting, gig work is the way to go, it will give him something to do

    • @sj9410
      @sj9410 11 днів тому

      Mental health problems is not the same as chronic illnesses that are debilitating. Get over it.

  • @f0xyl4dybradyerin8
    @f0xyl4dybradyerin8 2 дні тому +8

    He needs to get his sh together. Apply to any and everything. Also, Door Dash, Grub Hub, etc. Make your own schedule. And a LOT are leaving 9 to 5 jobs and making more money. Guess what isn't gonna help his depression... sitting home, worrying about bills and having fed children. Laying around feeling sorry for himself while you work. You need to tell him to get it together.

  • @Opm0316
    @Opm0316 16 днів тому +29

    I feel for you. Being the sole provider at the same time having to worry about your husband’s mental or emotional state so he can work is a heavy weight. I was once married to a man who was 12 years older than me and can’t keep a job. I did my best for him to find something but he can’t even last a day. He also depended on me for everything, medication etc and after I come from a very stressful work, I still do most of the housework. I decided i couldn’t continue doing that. So I left with my daughter to find something elsewhere. We got divorced after 2 years then I found a real man who took the responsibility of working for the family. One thing is very clear. You can’t change someone. You have to make the changes yourself.
    By the way, before I left my ex, I have been giving him so many ultimatums, and finally I had to leave or else I will lose myself. I hope your husband will step it up, and be able to stand for you and your kids. Because you can’t continue doing this all by yourself. Love and hugs to you.

    • @leeunfiltered
      @leeunfiltered  16 днів тому +4

      thank you for sharing your story, i know I wish things were different.

  • @haywood4299
    @haywood4299 19 днів тому +125

    Lot's of options out there. He can work night shift security, drive doordash when you aren't working. Plenty of work from home options now. As far as the whole mental health thing, well nothing is more depressing than being a husband and father who isn't supporting his family. Things are only going to get harder in 2025 for most people, so now is not the time to be sitting around waiting for the right job.

    • @Riley_sd
      @Riley_sd 19 днів тому +29

      Agreed, and a lot of couples who get entitlements are in denial as to what is to come. We are just trying to give honest advice and facts. My Husband and I worked opposite shifts when our Daughter was growing up. Please work together, so you don't have to struggle your whole life. Best of wishes.

    • @olive0eyes0
      @olive0eyes0 19 днів тому +10

      night shift security in a less busy site should help with his mental illness & stress. I know many young married men doing security now, times tough

    • @germanshepherdmom1143
      @germanshepherdmom1143 19 днів тому

      Not true. They are not a lot of options.

    • @haywood4299
      @haywood4299 19 днів тому

      @@germanshepherdmom1143 Well there are about to be even less options once all this welfare gets cut off. The free rides are over. Maybe the mass deportations will open up some more job opportunities and raise wages.

    • @lau77771hh
      @lau77771hh 18 днів тому

      You are right.

  • @Legacytierstrategies
    @Legacytierstrategies 19 днів тому +136

    dude got a whole family. he need to tighten up

    • @LadyUpstart
      @LadyUpstart 19 днів тому +1

      Stop

    • @MissLovely88
      @MissLovely88 18 днів тому +18

      @@LadyUpstartstop?? he doesn’t get to just check out. She can’t.

    • @LadyUpstart
      @LadyUpstart 18 днів тому +4

      @@MissLovely88 he isn't. She has said that he is actively looking for work. What more do you want? You must not have a lot going on and feel really entitled to tell another woman's husband what he should and should not do.

    • @MissLovely88
      @MissLovely88 18 днів тому +26

      @@LadyUpstart why are you making excuses for a grown man? There are so many side gigs and night jobs he can apply for. Something to help her out. And yes I have an opinion since she’s putting her life info on here.

    • @LadyUpstart
      @LadyUpstart 18 днів тому +6

      @@MissLovely88 because it isn't my husband and because we have limited knowledge. We only know what she wants us to. You don't have the full picture. And because that is HER husband, not mine or yours

  • @motorcityjudy
    @motorcityjudy 19 днів тому +63

    I think the answer to this issue is him working a job where he is working opposite hours of yours. Like his job needs to be overnights, yours is days. You won't see each other much or have "family time" but that's the way it'll have to be.
    Whatever his mental health stuff is - he needs to get treatment, even if he has to go to a PCP and say "I need an antidepressant" and push through until the antidepressant starts working. When you have no supportive family around, sometimes it has to be that way. He's a dad and doesn't have the option of dwelling in his depression. It is also not YOUR job to keep him balanced and motivated to look for work. He should be looking at his kids and THAT should be sending him to the websites to apply. You are a mother and doing what YOU need to do, he's gonna have to buck up and do the same.

    • @jay-rad98
      @jay-rad98 2 дні тому

      But it's not FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!! This lady is a moron lol

  • @lorettapenney7328
    @lorettapenney7328 19 днів тому +47

    Most jobs won't work with you😊 you work for them. Not being rude but it's the truth when u have a family u suck it up and work whatever you can get!!! U set aside whatever is going on in your life or in your head and you make that paycheck!!! I was a single mother of 2 no child support I had a job that was degrading and humiliating I worked nights not because I wanted to but because I had to provide!!! Whatever I was going through silently I put it on the back burner when I walked through that door at work!!! And believe me most could not handle the mental, emotional and physical distress I had to hide. My children are grown and have wonderful lives now. Everything I sacrificed was worth it. Your husband needs to suck it up and there are a lot of different opportunities with schedules that would work u just can't be picky. It simply comes down to this who is more important u or your children? Do i want them to have a better life or not!!( What am i willing to sacrifice for them) Are you willing to suffer silently and provide? Am i willing to set my depression etc .. aside and do what i need to do for the lives i am responsible for and created!!!!! Its sad but most people don't

    • @NClottery
      @NClottery 4 дні тому

      You are right but funny

  • @monikamoocz90
    @monikamoocz90 8 днів тому +7

    I have had depression anxiety trauma since i was a child but i have been working full time since 21..there are those who cant but we are all responsible for ourselves

  • @Onelovej
    @Onelovej 19 днів тому +33

    Your husband needs a skill so he will be in demand and be able to take care of the family Mybe roofing , plumbing, electrical, etc God bless

  • @joviv6340
    @joviv6340 19 днів тому +33

    amazon , ups , fedex . .hell even the post office is hiring and most of them LOVE you to work nights . Plus they have benefits

    • @user-xt4mg1hl4x
      @user-xt4mg1hl4x 15 днів тому +6

      Yep. My husband is a safety manager at Amazon. He gets up at 1:30 AM and is there by 2:30 AM. He gets off at 1:30 PM. He works 40 hrs in 4 days and has 3 days off. I work four nights a week as a server. The kids are never alone. It’s very doable.

  • @leedezern6862
    @leedezern6862 19 днів тому +51

    If your husband truly suffers with depression being unemployed certainly won’t help. I can’t imagine the stress.
    Having said that he probably needs to look for companies that have available night shifts. Some grocery stores, Walmart have night shifts. If there are hospitals in your area they need night shift in various positions. Perhaps cleaning offices after they close?

    • @KathleenMcNe
      @KathleenMcNe 19 днів тому +11

      Exactly. Being unemployed is hugely stressful.

    • @motorcityjudy
      @motorcityjudy 19 днів тому +10

      I have to agree with this - unemployment just makes the depression worse. Having a purpose and something to do, will help him. I'm a depressed person and I cannot imagine how much worse it would be if I didn't have to get up and go to work every day.

    • @musictorelaxandunwind
      @musictorelaxandunwind 19 днів тому

      Getting Job is harder and unstable less pay 😢​@@KathleenMcNe

    • @dm-jf5uu
      @dm-jf5uu 19 днів тому

      It's important to find the right fit because some job can make things worse.staying without a job is not a good however it's important to go to interviews treat this whole job process as a job

    • @shawnee66
      @shawnee66 12 днів тому +4

      A gas station attendent

  • @dianebaugher3919
    @dianebaugher3919 13 днів тому +18

    Before I got married I told my husband the main requirement I have in a husband is that he work 40 hours a week-it doesn't matter what the job is (as long as its legal!) If I'm out busting my butt 40 hours a week, you better know my husband will be too. Please don't make excuses for him, its too much for one person to handle on their own. Marriage is a partnership. I have had depression most of my life, I take medication and I've never not worked a full-time job....working may actually help his depression, keep himself busy.

  • @loggcabin2434
    @loggcabin2434 19 днів тому +28

    If he is that incapacitated he may need to apply for disability benefits. Otherwise, meds, counseling, sunshine, exercise, healthy food.....overnight stocker, sitter, security, maintenance.......

    • @dm-jf5uu
      @dm-jf5uu 19 днів тому +4

      Also working in a hotel

    • @DiaryofaSingleMom-ov7xf
      @DiaryofaSingleMom-ov7xf 9 днів тому

      Yes! You’re right because atleast they would have the disability income coming in. He has to be proactive in some kind of way.

    • @cherylliston3284
      @cherylliston3284 3 дні тому

      @@DiaryofaSingleMom-ov7xfhe would only qualify for ssi it’s like welfare they count her income he wouldn’t bring in any money

  • @Blubbha
    @Blubbha 19 днів тому +17

    My grandfarther told me: do what you want, follow your passion or what else. But make sure everything will be paid for.
    That sticks with me ever since.

  • @livelynnlipstick
    @livelynnlipstick 19 днів тому +33

    He need to at least try doordash and plasma donation...The woman always has to be the strong one he needs to pull himself up by the bootstraps for those kids

    • @BREEZYM6015
      @BREEZYM6015 19 днів тому

      I'm going to try to get back to donating plasma on a regular basis starting next week. My pulse has been too high the last few times I've gone in so I couldn't donate.

    • @RobertMesa-fu9oy
      @RobertMesa-fu9oy 18 днів тому

      That's what happened to me I was donating straight for 6 months then my heart beats went above 100​@@BREEZYM6015

    • @bhnurse16
      @bhnurse16 15 днів тому

      I was thinking about that, maybe he is healthy enough to donate plasma and that would be steady money while trying to get a job. I wanted to donated earlier in the year but was diagnosed with severe anemia (resolved now) but maybe one day I will!

    • @unchaineddemigod794
      @unchaineddemigod794 13 днів тому

      The woman is doing her part and being the strong one. What do u mean?

    • @livelynnlipstick
      @livelynnlipstick 13 днів тому +1

      @ I mean exactly what I wrote he needs to get a job .. woman always have to pick up slack she does not get a day off because she's "depressed" he needs to suck it up

  • @gojenn0927
    @gojenn0927 16 годин тому +1

    I had a wouldn't-work long term boyfriend. He always had an excuse.
    He's not going to get a job as long as he's being supported.

  • @JB-pe2yn
    @JB-pe2yn 19 днів тому +28

    You married and had kids with a weak man. Now you're making excuses for his piss poor behavior. Your kids deserve better than that.

    • @ddellwo
      @ddellwo 19 днів тому

      Yep - when I was going to college I often held three part time jobs at a time to get the money rolling in and that was for just me! This guy has a whole family to support and can’t seem to find the motivation to hold down even a single job - why girls are so attracted to little boys who aren’t ready to be men goes beyond my ability to understand! Honestly - don’t you have enough self-respect to think you deserve better……..🫤

    • @MissLovely88
      @MissLovely88 18 днів тому +3

      The harsh truth

    • @rebelwithacause2229
      @rebelwithacause2229 3 дні тому +1

      This 💯. I get sick of people making bad decisions and whining.

  • @UnapologeticallyMike
    @UnapologeticallyMike 18 днів тому +24

    I was the most lazy pos living off mom till she died, there’s no excuse period
    Where there is a will there is a way the only time I NEVER had a job was when I DIDNT WANT ONE, anytime I ACTUALLY LOOKED for a job I had one in a week.
    Stop making excuses for that lil boy of a man you sadly call your husband 😂😂😂😂

  • @janzimmerman5353
    @janzimmerman5353 3 дні тому +2

    People dont often understand deep depression. If he had a broken leg, then they would get it. ❤️ He has you to help him. God bless you dear lady. Prayers for him. 🙏

  • @wizardofahhhhhhz
    @wizardofahhhhhhz 16 днів тому +8

    Third shift is usually always hiring. He should be able to find something on nights.

  • @yeahyou8416
    @yeahyou8416 14 днів тому +6

    I can't imagine just checking out on my family. I'd be out there taking care of business

  • @stellannie3653
    @stellannie3653 16 днів тому +5

    I’m sorry you are going through this. I will send you positive energy and prayers. Fingers crossed things work out for ypu. ❤️🙏

    • @leeunfiltered
      @leeunfiltered  16 днів тому

      thank you! I appreciate you being here today!

  • @JLKeener77
    @JLKeener77 14 днів тому +6

    You deserve better. There is absolutely no reason why a grown man should not be contributing financially to his own household. Frankly, it's wild to me how soft people have gotten with all of their mental health excuses, etc. Every person busting their ass at work goes through mental health struggles AND still manages to be a functioning adult in society.

  • @CaraMarie13
    @CaraMarie13 19 днів тому +18

    He should look at applying for call centers. Those jobs have mostly stayed remote so he can look at those types of jobs in other states. Regarding the depression, look at your job and see if they offer an employee assistance program. You might have some free sessions with a therapist each that he could use. Some behavioral activation skills might really help him out.

    • @theresaruiz-dn1pe
      @theresaruiz-dn1pe 17 днів тому +1

      Call center jobs are the worst. If he can get one at home that would be good but good luck to him, it will make his mental health worse.

  • @comedylizzylizzy
    @comedylizzylizzy 19 днів тому +14

    My heart breaks for your husband 💔
    You're such a wonderful, supportive wife,I really wish there was something I could do to help you.
    Sending you positive good vibes.

    • @leeunfiltered
      @leeunfiltered  19 днів тому +2

      Thank you I appreciate you being here 🙏

  • @elisaliboiron2784
    @elisaliboiron2784 12 днів тому +1

    I've been listening to your videos all day, and I am so hooked! Keep up the good work. You are so relatable and down to earth.

  • @miamiflorida6965
    @miamiflorida6965 19 днів тому +13

    Both of you need to get work from home jobs. They hire you for customer service starting at $18.00/an hour. Usually Mon - Friday. They also have night shifts.
    Also apply for food stamps.. ❤

    • @leeunfiltered
      @leeunfiltered  19 днів тому +3

      Yes I'm having him apply but lately it's been a struggle due to his mental health on the floor. We have food stamps thankfully, hopefully I can keep getting at least 20 hours a week at work in order for me to keep the food stamps. They take them away if you don't work at least 20 hours a week.

    • @miamiflorida6965
      @miamiflorida6965 13 днів тому +5

      @@leeunfiltered he needs to get out of that rut. He needs to help raise his kids. 💗

    • @sjbutler2330
      @sjbutler2330 3 дні тому +2

      He needs to ride the bus along with you... Or.... Get off at the next stop!!!

    • @asabovesobelow7981
      @asabovesobelow7981 3 дні тому

      @@sjbutler2330 well said!!

  • @shudtt09
    @shudtt09 18 днів тому +4

    Nite grocery at HEB. Not ideal but it's a job. You can advance in that environment because so many just abandon their jobs at places like that. Show them motivation and be willing to learn and get along with others.

  • @kathyeshelman40
    @kathyeshelman40 День тому +1

    Don't make excuses for him he's just too freaking lazy to work

  • @annab5098
    @annab5098 15 днів тому +4

    I'm sorry but where there is a will, there is a way. He needs to step up and figure it out. I'm not saying it's easy or simple, but it is doable. You cannot sustain your family being single income and making $12 an hour- it just won't work.

  • @girlwithnoniche7852
    @girlwithnoniche7852 9 днів тому +2

    I was depressed and worked. Took my medicine and off to work I went. And to be honest leaving the house daily was the only thing that save me. My work family. Life be Lifing and things happen. But the world don’t stop spinning because of death. You got to push through. Trials and tribulations we all have them. But you can’t have a pity party. He need to donate plasma, pick up scrap metal, open a in home daycare. Just get busy

    • @robinb.4699
      @robinb.4699 2 дні тому +1

      Your story sounds like mine!👍🏽

  • @sunnydelight3046
    @sunnydelight3046 18 днів тому +5

    I am going through the same thing my wife doesn't want to work and takes naps, doesn't cook or clean

  • @NikkisMoneyBlog2
    @NikkisMoneyBlog2 19 днів тому +7

    I'm sorry to hear that your husband is depressed. You guys are strong!! You will make it.

    • @midwestpanther98
      @midwestpanther98 13 днів тому +1

      This has to be the most positive comment on here.

  • @miraeg
    @miraeg 19 днів тому +10

    I worked at a grocery store for over 2 years before. They sometimes didn’t give me enough hours so I got a second job at a dry cleaners. The second job had a set schedule (3-7pm M through F) so I told my cashier job that I was willing to work 8pm-12am (closing) during weekdays and any time on the weekends. My schedule became like a fixed schedule at the grocery store at least during weekdays because not many people wanted to close. To find a job that works with your schedule, you might have to work the hours that people don’t like. One of you working a night shift job would really help. I imagine it is much harder with kids and a partner who has a depression. It will get better some day. Hang in there.

  • @myyt3824
    @myyt3824 19 днів тому +13

    Are we supposed to feel bad for him? Dude had a whole ass family and can’t get it together. We women do it all the damn time. You have to make him apply to jobs?? This is unacceptable.

  • @ShanelValverde
    @ShanelValverde 19 днів тому +14

    Omgosh!!! You are going through the same as I am!!! Except my husband works… we rely on each other to watch both our children because of our work schedules and we don’t have anyone to stay with them.. wow! It’s very hard when these things are happening.. i work overnight because my husbands shift is early mornings and it helps with our availability.,, it’s not easy because i hate night shifts but i suck it up.. I hope things work out for u guys!! Eventually things will get easier!!

    • @sj9410
      @sj9410 11 днів тому

      Lol how is she going thru the same thing as you are if you and your husband are working. That is literally the opposite.

  • @marjoriebd3326
    @marjoriebd3326 19 днів тому +20

    I seriously do not understand how we are supposed to make it work in this country. My husband works from home and I am a freelancer. That has been the only way we are able to both pay bills and have kids. These struggles are so understandable. You are not alone.

    • @cockyhemi
      @cockyhemi 19 днів тому +3

      There’s no such thing as working from home.

    • @BREEZYM6015
      @BREEZYM6015 19 днів тому

      ​@@cockyhemiYes there is although I don't do it. 😂

    • @royharper2003
      @royharper2003 18 днів тому +2

      @@cockyhemi I've been doing it since COVID

    • @royharper2003
      @royharper2003 18 днів тому +2

      You're complaining because you both have to work?

    • @cockyhemi
      @cockyhemi 18 днів тому +1

      @@royharper2003 you’re not working.

  • @peacefaith2939
    @peacefaith2939 19 днів тому +7

    these people are doing to much YOU work on their schedule not yours lol unless you own your own business ...your husband just lazy you work days and he work nights .... if audacity was a person

  • @speeddemon002
    @speeddemon002 19 днів тому +5

    You guys need to downsize cost of living so your not out slaving to maintain something thats not sustainable. If you have to move in with Mom and help her pay rent or mortgage, then do it. You have to eliminate car notes. You have to eliminate full coverage insurance if you have any of that. Try to run the month with as minimal as possible as it cost a living. Then do it the next month and the next month and the next month and the next month. I see a lot of people that struggle and live paycheck to paycheck and I ask him what they have as cost-of-living and they have enormous rents like 3000 a month and they have utilities and then they have a car note and a full coverage insurance and then they have the kids don’t even go to work They just sit at home and do nothing and it’s like well. You’re doing it to yourself. You really are you need to find a way out. It’s not sustainable put that in your head put that in your head it’s not sustainable long-term. It’s not sustainable and it’s not fair for you to put your kids through it. Find a way to live minimal as possible Why are you wasting gas driving to the bank to deposit $50? When you can be at a part-time job making $80 in four hours. I’m giving you tough love because maybe you need to hear it. Everyone out here wants to make you feel like they’re sorry for you but you gotta think to yourself you’re doing it to yourself. You’re doing it to yourself. You can make cost of living so cheap. If you figure that out, you won’t have to go out and make so much money you won’t need to make money. Then you’ll be free you’ll have time to spend with your children to teach them how to also live minimally and not slave and pay taxes like every other poor American citizen.

  • @DebraJohnson
    @DebraJohnson 19 днів тому +19

    If you’re low income, you qualify for daycare assistance. Both of you can work full time. Two parent homes and single parent homes make it work every day. Best of luck to you.

    • @leeunfiltered
      @leeunfiltered  19 днів тому +5

      Thank you for your comment, I have tried getting daycare assistance but they said it's massive wait like like around 2 year wait

    • @Regulus3333
      @Regulus3333 19 днів тому +1

      Texas has one of the worst child care programs in America. Standard for red states though. So sad

    • @DebraJohnson
      @DebraJohnson 19 днів тому +5

      @@leeunfiltered Understandable. My dad used to work overnight and my mom worked days. Hopefully you guys can find a way.

    • @thealternative9580
      @thealternative9580 19 днів тому

      Uh people aren’t making it work that’s why homelessness is exploding.

    • @DebraJohnson
      @DebraJohnson 19 днів тому

      @@thealternative9580 When you have kids, you have to work to provide for them. Yes, you are more likely to be homeless if you do not work. I’ve been through it all and the best advice I was ever given was to try to keep working even in hard times.

  • @Once1111-o8l
    @Once1111-o8l 18 днів тому +8

    My ex wouldn’t keep a job. I got myself through college with three kids, almost living on student loans. After I divorced him he got a federal job! They do it when they have to. I know you are under stress, but start some way to get better jobs, can training, X-ray tech etc and use that as a stepping stone. ❤

    • @Once1111-o8l
      @Once1111-o8l 18 днів тому

      Meant certified nursing assistant

  • @ashleylee7523
    @ashleylee7523 2 дні тому

    I’m a college student & barely getting by. There are a lot of extreme budget meal plans on here that you can use to help feed you and your family. Local food banks & pantries are also a good option. I was even told some Catholic charities in your area will help as well. It doesn’t help that the cost of living is outrageous everywhere either. I hope this year brings u lots of blessings 🙏

  • @houstonka
    @houstonka 19 днів тому +6

    Also just giving an idea. He can work as a valet attendent evening or nights at residential highrise buildings or fancy hotels. Its simple , easy job.

  • @ishayaakov
    @ishayaakov 19 днів тому +8

    sadly most jobs want you to work their schedules not them work youre schedules and with the job market being scarce to find work its supper hard

  • @DonLaPierre-ho8ng
    @DonLaPierre-ho8ng 16 днів тому +2

    Life is depressing- every city across the US has a place called Labor Ready and contractors give you work by the day he should try to find where it is LIFE IS TO EXPENSIVE TO WASTE A DAY

  • @Jaxk06
    @Jaxk06 2 дні тому

    Hey, I just found your channel. No judgement. But my husband works for Amazon. Right now he works nights and I’m a sahm and it’s just him and I. I’m grateful for his job and that he holds us up but I also homeschool our kids, make breads and stuff. Try to see if Amazon is hiring, it’s always hiring here and if you work, then you have a job.

  • @BREEZYM6015
    @BREEZYM6015 19 днів тому +3

    I work full-time four days a week. I'm not complaining. Hopefully things get better for your family soon.

  • @KP-hi1om
    @KP-hi1om 12 днів тому +2

    A mans job is to take care of his family. I know it's not a popular opinion but taking care of my family is above my mental health. If I am going to be depressed I'm going to do it while making a buck. I understand that he is grieving. I hope he is able to get some help. In the mean time its time to take a night shift at Walmart or Amazon for the good of the family. Good luck.

    • @ScottsdaleSushi
      @ScottsdaleSushi 4 дні тому +1

      You sound like a real adult man - 👏🏼

  • @summerjoy247
    @summerjoy247 19 днів тому +21

    Can he DoorDash or uber when you’re not working or when your mom is there? Or work overnight shift?

    • @leeunfiltered
      @leeunfiltered  19 днів тому +8

      Yeah I'm gonna see if he can do that

    • @gypsyislandgal1118
      @gypsyislandgal1118 19 днів тому +1

      I’m a female and work 40 hours a week. It’s expensive so I do Uber eats at night for about three hours after I leave work at 5pm. I’m also in school remote full time. You have to do what you have to do. It’s expensive. I’m going to start a channel too because I need money and even though I work full time. I’m still paycheck to paycheck.

  • @Gioli565
    @Gioli565 17 днів тому +3

    I’m so sorry you have to deal with a husband like that. He needs to step up and deal with life. You’re going a good job given the circumstances. Time for him to as well.

  • @ashleylee7523
    @ashleylee7523 2 дні тому +1

    I understand it’s hard having mental health problems, I deal with that myself. There are jobs that you can do that are work from home. Monster, Indeed are good places that you can look for jobs, especially work from home jobs. I’m a new subscriber so I hope that helps ❤

  • @amaliasafaryan4256
    @amaliasafaryan4256 15 днів тому +2

    Many men everyday get their cdl license and make a good income.... totally good trade to have. And would have enough for day care
    Also about the depressive episodes. Please get him mental health help: whatever he needs. There is help out there

  • @WeShareTheSameAffliction
    @WeShareTheSameAffliction 13 днів тому +2

    Girl, stop. He can get out there and work an opposite schedule of you. I just started Door Dash last week, and I made 188.00 in 5 days, taking not that many orders. He can at least do that. Even if he only makes 100 or 200 per week, at least that's something. He needs to work ASAP.

  • @cjengland2365
    @cjengland2365 14 днів тому +1

    You don't owe anyone an explanation. Do whatever is right for you and your kids. It's your life to live.

  • @malindagosnell6533
    @malindagosnell6533 2 дні тому

    Have you checked in with your local public health department? In Illinois ours provides a lot of services for low income families. They have dentist and mental health professionals. Please reach out to them and see if they can help in any way possible.

  • @djselatiansims65
    @djselatiansims65 19 днів тому +1

    I'm so glad I found your channel on UA-cam I need to hear this morning you is telling the truth 100%

  • @leeunfiltered
    @leeunfiltered  19 днів тому +22

    Also I forgot to mention that he had to leave his job because he had a severe health complication and wasn’t able to work fast enough

  • @T3chAndThings
    @T3chAndThings 19 днів тому +9

    Also I hope your channel continues to grow to the point where you can just live off UA-cam vlogs, and you get that check every 18th or 21st of each month.

  • @truelyyourz
    @truelyyourz 18 днів тому +2

    If he was unemployed for two months he could of got a seasonal job at Walmart doing overnight stocking and they might have even kept him past the season any job is better than no job

  • @LifewithSerena0323
    @LifewithSerena0323 19 днів тому +12

    Honestly it’s not no one’s business if you don’t want to share. Not everyone can just get up and grab a job. There are a lot of reasons behind it. Don’t justify it to anyone unless you want to. I’m sorry your husband is going through a rough patch mentally. Hang in there and make sure y’all reach out if you need a therapist or what not.

  • @hank9663
    @hank9663 18 днів тому +4

    You have to prepare when you are young.

  • @barryobee1544
    @barryobee1544 17 днів тому +7

    If he keeps busy by working, he won’t have time to be depressed!

    • @Teamster83
      @Teamster83 17 днів тому

      Exactly when my dad died 8 months ago he was my best friend. I did the funeral thing i also put in alot more overtime to get my mind off things plus its what my would have wanted. Screw this guy

    • @Arbysroastbeefjuice
      @Arbysroastbeefjuice 14 днів тому +1

      That’s not how mental illness works….

    • @josemejia9956
      @josemejia9956 12 днів тому +1

      That’s not always true

  • @chrischilds2231
    @chrischilds2231 12 днів тому

    I was struggling with depression that kept me from working. You need to be supportive and loving to him and he needs to recognize that and work extra hard to get better for his loving supportive wife and family... if it doesn't motivate him to get better nothing will

  • @travelingwithrick
    @travelingwithrick 12 днів тому +2

    You two never should of had kids until you were more financially stable.

  • @personallyjoua
    @personallyjoua 13 днів тому +2

    i also lost my own brother to suicide and he was just 28! I was shattered but had to keep going to work and remember i am a mom first. I eventually got therapy , took a leave of absence, exercised and spiritually connected with my brother to heal. I don't know if ur husband was employed or unemployed at the time of the friends death, but don't give up on your own family bc the dead will not return..those bills aren't self paid. I hope ur husband finds professional help, heal, and get employed. ...😔 Good luck to you my sister. ❤❤

    • @leeunfiltered
      @leeunfiltered  13 днів тому

      Thank you for this comment, I’m sorry to hear that 😢im glad you were able to connect with your brother spiritually that’s beautiful ❤️ we’re all connected

    • @smann7236
      @smann7236 13 днів тому

      Why did he suicide? Did he leave letter?

  • @chrismargoni
    @chrismargoni 18 днів тому +2

    There's plenty of places that have alternate work shifts available. We have all done what we need to do to provide. He needs to do the same.

  • @gerrikim8545
    @gerrikim8545 19 днів тому +6

    You are going through a lot. You are a blessing to him and to your family 🙏🏻

  • @videogamesare1
    @videogamesare1 8 днів тому

    Bills paid, fast internet, bro's got it all

  • @mamashiraz
    @mamashiraz 3 дні тому

    Have you suggested counseling? For both mental health and career counseling? Mental health treatment is so important especially when someone can’t seem to function in their everyday life. Going for treatment is what he owes you and his children and himself. He needs to be productive for his family. 🙏🏼💪🏼❤️

  • @LadyUpstart
    @LadyUpstart 19 днів тому +8

    Honestly, some of these comments are coming across as rude & judgy. I know they are trying to pretend to care but if we are all being honest, they dont. That is your husband and idk what you have going on within your relationship but i would not put his business out here on UA-cam. Even if you might be upset with your husband (which i dont think so), they are attacking your husband which is somewhat of an attack on you. Thats YOUR husband, he is your family. not theirs. Do not give these hyenas an 'in' to insult or atrack you and your family. If these people were being genuine, they wouldnt leave some of the comments they have been leaving. I wish you and your family well. My husband and I have been your shoes before and it gets better.

    • @leeunfiltered
      @leeunfiltered  18 днів тому +1

      Thank you I will keep that in mind…appreciate your comment ❤️

  • @adamhughes4442
    @adamhughes4442 17 днів тому +3

    Most families in the world have these problems...what's your point?

  • @marianacastillo8843
    @marianacastillo8843 12 днів тому +1

    Encourage him to find a work from home job 😊 that way you guys don’t have to get a babysitter and you both can work

  • @theultimatebigmunchkin5015
    @theultimatebigmunchkin5015 13 днів тому +1

    Not working adds stress to your husbands life trust me I’ve been through it but he needs to go back to work overnight would prob be best. You guys have kids and he needs to realize his needs come last on the list the kids come first then you then him. He’s lucky bc it sounds like he has a great wife who loves and supports him.

  • @number1grandma1
    @number1grandma1 16 годин тому

    Yes, I was in your shoes. Tough love!!!
    Go to the Dr. get diagnosed, medicated, and on with life and his responsibilities.

  • @yvettediamond9760
    @yvettediamond9760 9 днів тому

    As A Couple The two of you know what best God got You ❤

  • @nancykay4128
    @nancykay4128 18 днів тому +1

    As someone who has spent the last two years looking for a job, I do understand the market is super competitive!!
    Life is messy and I’m sure you are doing the best that you can with the situation that you have.

  • @terryhatfield4253
    @terryhatfield4253 3 дні тому

    Probably the easiest way to get money coming in is to start a small business. Probably the easies to start is a cleaning business. EVERYONE ALREADY KNOWS HOW TO CLEAN. NO NEW SKILLS TO LEARN. You can easily charge $25 to $40 an hour. The best part is that you can work part time and set your own hours. It can be for small offices or homes. What is great about a cleaning business is that once you get a customer it is repeat. You get the customer once, and you will continue to get work for possibly years to come. it is simple to customers. You just make a simple flyer up offering your service and put it on doors in high income neighborhoods. You can do the same with your office cleaning, and go office to office and just hand them your flyer and ask them to keep you in mind if they want cleaning. Pass out a lot of flyers and you will get work guaranteed. JUST DON"T PUT THE FLYERS IN PEOPLES MAIL BOXES. IT IS ILLEGAL. Just roll them up and attach them to doors with rubber band or stick them in the door so they don't blow away.

  • @Yasmeen001
    @Yasmeen001 19 днів тому +4

    I’m sorry. Wishing you and your family the best and I truly hope things improve soon.

  • @damianwildfong7278
    @damianwildfong7278 20 годин тому

    if he has been diagnosed with disorders then he needs to apply for disability and actually talk to the social worker honestly he needs to get on meds and start going to therapy what is his actual diagnosis there are jobs he can do at home i have 3 part time jobs at home and have cerebral palsy....because you are working he might not get approved for full benefits but at least try to apply for them and talk to social workers and see what happens FYI----to the people that say work no matter what that is ableist short-sighted and toxic mentality that isn't giving any solutions to her problems ---there are also job counseling centers through the state that helps people on disability work part-time there are employers that are flexible with hours in these jobs so your benefits don't get cut

  • @AleVilla-x1u
    @AleVilla-x1u 13 днів тому +1

    If your husband is trying to get disability, then that can take several years and a lot of medical visits. Your family cannot waste that valuable time. He needs to snap out of it and go work any job he can get right now. Any job is better than no job.

  • @mylifeisinhishandsamen4167
    @mylifeisinhishandsamen4167 17 днів тому +3

    Hmmm...it will be wise if you don't bring your husband's issue to the internet. Or else, you will find yourself hating your husband because of people's comments.

  • @theresaruiz-dn1pe
    @theresaruiz-dn1pe 17 днів тому

    It is hard in this job market. Whatever job you both have, unfortunately, you have to work with your job. These employers know that the ball is in their court. They are low-balling everyone with pay which sucks. I hope your husband gets better. That is horrible to lose a friend like that. I hope he pulls through because at the end of the day, you as his wife and his children come first. He has to fight through. It is easier said than done.

  • @jakejoselitoramirez5988
    @jakejoselitoramirez5988 10 днів тому

    I found when transitioning using those "day pay" jobs are a good way to find work when needed. Do you live in Houston or Dallas. I live in San Antonio and there are several places that will pay at least 14/hr and you apply and call to see what's available that day or find out the night before. That fills the gap until you can find a regular job

  • @mpat100
    @mpat100 19 днів тому +6

    Blessings, good health and new employment for your husband soon.

  • @sj9410
    @sj9410 11 днів тому +1

    I just cannot relate to not being with a real mans and provider. Girl just why. Its insanity.

    • @AndyCopperfield
      @AndyCopperfield 3 дні тому

      Why are men still expected to provide these days? You women demanded equality for the past 60 years and you have it.. you're graduating college at a higher rate than men, have EQUAL pay, and out earning men in most of the major US cities. For you to say a man isn't a real man if he isn't providing is contradicting the entire feminist movement. Which is it ladies?

  • @kevinlipps2817
    @kevinlipps2817 12 днів тому

    Individuals often fail to grasp the challenges involved. There is a common misconception that the issue stems from laziness or a lack of desire to work. However, many jobs do not accommodate personal needs and impose expectations that disregard individual well-being. Additionally, there are numerous superfluous qualifications demanded for certain positions, with employers frequently seeking three to five years of experience for roles that do not necessitate such extensive backgrounds.

  • @Cola-Cole6368
    @Cola-Cole6368 11 днів тому +1

    Be Encouraged, 😊 Sis!
    Phillipians 4:6-8
    6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
    8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things. Love you ❤ God bless

  • @shaunalea823
    @shaunalea823 3 дні тому

    I have never heard of places refusing to work w your schedule within reason ofcoarse depend on operational hours. My husband and I both work my husbands job is a set schedule and the money I make is supplemental I work hours that cater to our need.

  • @SaoLaoatusa
    @SaoLaoatusa 16 днів тому +5

    Man with no work. Me bye bye....

  • @IgnacioNexlsonCañas
    @IgnacioNexlsonCañas 12 днів тому +7

    People are so quick to judge. Yes, he has kids. Yes, he has to work. But, somebody has to watch the kids, too. Plus, mental health is important.

  • @Just-ut8ef
    @Just-ut8ef 19 днів тому +3

    Oh I follow you just as of recently and really love keeping up with you. I hadn’t thought to ask that’s question of your husbands status. But now after seeing this video addressing it, I love th budget videos! I wonder what the best case work hours scenario is for both of you? You must have to take child care into account and being given regular shifts so you can organize yourselves that must be a thing you want!

    • @Just-ut8ef
      @Just-ut8ef 19 днів тому

      I mean, both you and your husband working hours so you can know who needs to be available on the childcare end of things. With budgeting as two working adults that is the thing to master and it’s a tough thing to get on top of! Well done you guys for being so “we cross that bridge” 👍

  • @patrickharper9969
    @patrickharper9969 19 днів тому +7

    Please keep trying, together you can achieve anythng you put your minds to. ❤

  • @Lancelot0311
    @Lancelot0311 19 днів тому +2

    Crazy how we live in an “equal” society but love to make excuses for women as to why they cant work. When a guy is in the same situation he gets shit on. Crazy

    • @ering7733
      @ering7733 18 днів тому +6

      If he’s taking care of the kids and actually cleaning,cooking,planning medical appts, keeping up with school work for the kids etc than it’s ok. However, she is making $12 hour per her other video trying to support him and 2 kids. They both need to work. If one of them make $$$ to support the family let the other person “stay home” whether male or female. The stay at home person should have the house and kids in order not laying in the bed all day or playing video games and that goes for male or female

    • @AndyCopperfield
      @AndyCopperfield 3 дні тому

      ​@@ering7733sounds like women should have just stayed in their traditional role then all this wouldn't be an issue.

  • @cmarie4227
    @cmarie4227 2 дні тому

    HONEY😏IT’S CALLED LIFE🤷‍♀️UNFORTUNATELY, YOU HAVE AN EXCUSE FOR EVERYTHING & IT WILL NOT REFLECT WELL FOR YOUR KIDS😳😳🤔🤷‍♀️

  • @jacquelinelewis5627
    @jacquelinelewis5627 19 днів тому +13

    'Depression' is used as such a scapegoat..who the hell ISNT depressed...I hate my job I cry in my car going there I'll cry in the bathroom when I'm there, you don't get a choice to not work that's a luxury if you don't wanna work then get w a sugar momma or sugar poppa to pay your way but don't be a welfare leach using taxpayer money...luckily trump is gonna cut that back

    • @Adventures4vida
      @Adventures4vida 19 днів тому +4

      ahh I see why you're a trumper with the amount of hate you used in your comment!