Where do LGBTQIA+ people go in their later lives? | Compass | ABC Australia

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  • Опубліковано 17 тра 2024
  • Traditional aged care homes can be a nightmare for some LGBTQIA+, often finding themselves surrounded by the very attitudes they spent a lifetime trying to escape. Many go back into the closet.
    Trans activist Julie Peters is on a mission to find out what options exist for LGBTQIA+ people in their twilight years. She visits ‘Regnbågen/Rainbow’ is the first residency for senior LGBT people in Stockholm, in Sweden, and in Europe.
    Stream the full story Ageing Fabulously on ABC iview: iview.abc.net.au/video/RN2311...
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 97

  • @salutsal
    @salutsal 17 днів тому +227

    seeing the old asian ladies playing mahjong made me burst into tears as a gay lil asian kid. do they accept early entry

  • @BiancaDelahaye
    @BiancaDelahaye 22 дні тому +210

    As a young queer person this makes me so hopeful that those who came before us can still share community and live happy out lives ❤️

  • @Robert-qh3ok
    @Robert-qh3ok 26 днів тому +94

    We can all learn from Sweden, which has been a progressive, live and let live country, for many decades...

  • @tgoddard1988
    @tgoddard1988 17 днів тому +60

    This is so heartwarming and I hope this becomes a thing by the time my other half and I retire. But change takes time, public perception about something that was seen as wrong for so long will inevitably take longer to go away. But I’m in my 30’s, when I was in my teens thing were very different, but meeting younger people now and seeing how ok and comfortable they are with me being gay and engaged to a guy is incredible!
    I was walking by a school on my way home from work a while ago when the kids were getting out, all 16-18 year olds, a group of kids came out of the school together, obviously all friends, when 2 guys split off and headed towards a car parked on the other side of the road, while the group stopped and waited, the 2 guys hugged and kissed, not a peck but a full on kiss before one got in the car and the other headed back to the group who then headed off down the road.. it made me so happy to see something like that, with no one screaming homophobic slurs or throwing things at them, which happened often when I was that age, they acted as though it was completely normal!
    I am obviously jealous that things weren’t that way when I was younger, because even straight people used to get bullied for being “gay” even though they weren’t and it was worse for those who actually were gay.

  • @addeenen7684
    @addeenen7684 23 дні тому +97

    I am 61, Dutch, married for 20 years. Even though I have a large biological family, no one comes to visit. Just my youngest brother. When I get older I would like to go to a house that is separate from the main house, like a holiday park with a large community center in the middle. I don't know if the Netherlands will remain gay-friendly, but Sweden is too cold for me. Australia is too hot. I know the basics of German, Italian, Spanish and English. So if I outlive my husband, I can always move to another country.

    • @msimons7440
      @msimons7440 17 днів тому +2

      @addeenen Not all of Australia is hot. Am in Victoria, in the south, and am sitting here with the heating on full and wearing a puffer jacket. 10 degrees celcius outside. It's only the North that's mostly hot.

    • @suprensa4393
      @suprensa4393 16 днів тому +5

      Do you have reason to fear that the Netherlands will become more queerphobic over time?

    • @landondavis4211
      @landondavis4211 16 днів тому

      I wish you the absolute best! I wish more people would visit you❤

    • @shanabenjamin8945
      @shanabenjamin8945 4 дні тому

      Totally with you! ❤
      😊

  • @ricklundeen2722
    @ricklundeen2722 22 дні тому +50

    Unfortunatly, a lot of these places cost a lot of money to live in

    • @shanabenjamin8945
      @shanabenjamin8945 4 дні тому

      A good idea would to be a house share with other guys. Maybe a space where everyone has their own bit of space❤

  • @slukas1375
    @slukas1375 25 днів тому +32

    Lovely to see these folks being their authentic selves in such a loving, accepting environment.

  • @claudianagel7402
    @claudianagel7402 21 день тому +20

    Sweden is a beautiful country! With this home for elderly LGBT+ people a dream has come true.

  • @jamiejones8508
    @jamiejones8508 21 день тому +21

    This is a world wide issue too. I raised it in my NHS trust about 15 years ago and was told that someone was doing something. As far as I know nobody did and I worked with over 65s for years without meeting anyone out & gay…which seemed telling to me.

  • @monochromeduo
    @monochromeduo 16 днів тому +10

    its endearing seeing elderly lgbtq ppl, knowing they're here, co-existing along with us younger queer folk

  • @kygladdish2554
    @kygladdish2554 25 днів тому +12

    So nice to see this. I’m 46 and the anxiety hits me most nights and I wonder what am I going to do when I’m older… I hope that Australia can get something like this together - we’re here, we’re queer and we ain’t getting any younger 😅

  • @mike-williams
    @mike-williams 19 днів тому +15

    The dominance (and politial clout) of religous institutions in the elder care sector make this vvery difficult to achieve. Sydney may seem like a gay paradise, but the Anglican diocese is probably the most conservative in the country.

  • @kimsherlock8969
    @kimsherlock8969 25 днів тому +15

    Wonderful documentary 🎉
    I often wonder when our spaces in Australia will become more intergenerational.
    Old people living in a community who knows them .
    Not hidden together in solitude from life outside.

  • @X_85
    @X_85 24 дні тому +57

    All these beautiful rainbow people ❤

  • @suejowell
    @suejowell 20 днів тому +11

    How much does it cost? Per month

  • @ronsmith2241
    @ronsmith2241 24 дні тому +5

    I understand. I dread having to go into a nursing home and go back into the closet. I acted straight when I was married to my very accepting wife for 51 years. I cared for her with MS for 26 years before she passed.

  • @_digital_dan
    @_digital_dan 21 день тому +23

    I’ve cried through the entire video 😭 so heartwarming to see queer people getting old in a safe and welcoming environment

  • @mwangi10
    @mwangi10 19 днів тому +5

    the singing for the dog 😭😭

  • @sarahleahB
    @sarahleahB 24 дні тому +27

    Love this!

  • @Telamond
    @Telamond 22 дні тому +3

    Så fint att se. ❤

  • @Bea-ex1yf
    @Bea-ex1yf 12 днів тому +2

    how good their english is! my grandparents rarely knew a word...❤

  • @waynejones750
    @waynejones750 21 день тому +8

    I found this very interesting ❤

  • @bastian2934
    @bastian2934 22 дні тому +4

    The beauty i have witnessed right now. Brought me to tears. What a wonderful place. ❤❤❤❤❤

  • @vincyagain
    @vincyagain 10 днів тому +2

    Happy pride month to all of the residents in Rainbow! What a beautifully done video, thank you so much for sharing this story! Seeing old asian ladies playing mahjong and an elderly lesbian couple having a banter, it made me really happy. I hope they can continue to live long and happy lives.

  • @danielsoya8435
    @danielsoya8435 19 днів тому +2

    As a member of the lgbt community I try and blend with everyone else… I don’t need my own space or any other special treatment… people will hate on you no matter how you are born

  • @van6355
    @van6355 17 днів тому +2

    in order to have something like this in Aus, the LGBTQ organisations should be manage sustainability so we can afford to build this financially.

  • @thefilipinojoe
    @thefilipinojoe 22 дні тому +3

    Awesome ❤

  • @sarah.s.flanagan
    @sarah.s.flanagan 6 днів тому

    "We fly from flower to flower sometimes" 😆💙

  • @AliceP.
    @AliceP. 12 днів тому +1

    Oh goodness, that makes me somewhat hopeful for the future. I'm a 30 year old gay woman that hopes someday she'll have a lifelong partner, but doesn't want any children. I'm not very close to my family. I worry about old age even though I'm only 30. I don't want to ever fall in that problematic mindset that some people try to instill in us about having children so we won't die alone. Anyway, this was a ramble but I hope there are people my age prepared to build a community when time comes.

  • @tobbster99
    @tobbster99 14 днів тому +1

    This makes me really happy. I cried during this video. thank you.

  • @yesyes2024
    @yesyes2024 12 днів тому +2

    Happy pride month all 🌈

  • @ksanurse
    @ksanurse 24 дні тому +2

    Seen some in the nursing homes. They are respected just like any other person should be. Their needs are accommodated as is their wishes. I’ve only seen private bedrooms. They otherwise share communal facilities like lounges and participate in activities as is their choice. When I nursed them they were pleasant to care for and were very entertaining had a sense of humour. I can’t see a problem with older age adults and I don’t see the need that they should be segregated. When you’re old enough to need assistance of a nursing home you sex life isn’t a priority anymore your focus is on your care.

  • @natalie6111
    @natalie6111 23 дні тому +3

    I wish we could have a place like this in my country...but it's impossible😒 thank you for sharing this video

  • @Eyoki777
    @Eyoki777 День тому

    This was a wonderful documentary. Some amazing people in Australia!

  • @markleon411
    @markleon411 25 днів тому +2

    As I approach retirement age, I worry about where I will end up. No children and there is no guarantee that my husband will be around to look after me or even have the capacity to. The Catholics have long had their own age care facilities, as have the Jews, the Baptists, the Greeks, the Italians and so on. The LGBT+ community desperately needs age care facilities that are sympathetic to the community and welcomes them. Surely there's some entrepreneur who would finance something like this.

  • @dawnmullen4348
    @dawnmullen4348 8 днів тому

    awesome!

  • @ArtyBicardi
    @ArtyBicardi 19 днів тому +1

    This is so beautiful!

  • @deathweaselx86
    @deathweaselx86 14 днів тому

    We need this in the US, stat!

  • @FloweryMF
    @FloweryMF 9 днів тому

    Would’ve been nice to see those couples early pictures after so long 😨

  • @valeriewentzel1789
    @valeriewentzel1789 22 дні тому +1

    They were going to build a gay retirement home near Daylesford over twenty years ago.I don't know if they actually did build it though.

  • @paulbotaslillington6828
    @paulbotaslillington6828 24 дні тому +2

    Happy people ❤

  • @cadicorniche
    @cadicorniche 16 днів тому

    Brilliant.

  • @neredan1182
    @neredan1182 18 днів тому

    want to watch this for hours.

  • @phillipalfalla6306
    @phillipalfalla6306 18 днів тому +1

    I would like to live there so nice and friendly.

  • @shanabenjamin8945
    @shanabenjamin8945 4 дні тому

    What a lovely couple! ❤🎉

  • @jtarantula3390
    @jtarantula3390 17 днів тому +1

    Sounds quite lovely actually

  • @shanabenjamin8945
    @shanabenjamin8945 4 дні тому

    Love this! Being judged all my life is enough already! I am in!

  • @hollo0o583
    @hollo0o583 20 днів тому +2

    queer joy!

  • @Stormy-14-
    @Stormy-14- 7 днів тому

    This is beautiful 👍👍❤️❤️

  • @Sad_bumper_sticker.
    @Sad_bumper_sticker. 9 днів тому

    Would love to live out my final years in such a space

  • @Carriecottagecore
    @Carriecottagecore 9 днів тому

    beautiful!

  • @EddieHarrison-qx7bb
    @EddieHarrison-qx7bb 19 днів тому +1

    One of my biggest fear ending up in a nursing home. Just as soon be dead have work in nursing home not for me

    • @msimons7440
      @msimons7440 17 днів тому

      @EddieHarrison Yes, me too. It terrifies me.

  • @kingdomfor1
    @kingdomfor1 19 днів тому +1

    I'm Australian, but I've built a life in the Philippines, much easier for gay people here,

  • @paulcgrout5108
    @paulcgrout5108 25 днів тому

    You really need to look at Sun City .indio. calif. Gated senior community with a lgbt organization of over 600 members. 15 minutes east of Palm Spring. CALIF. INDIO IS FANTASTIC.

  • @jujub4553
    @jujub4553 22 дні тому +7

    🌈

  • @user-ry7we3yx6r
    @user-ry7we3yx6r 18 днів тому

    🎉❤🎉❤🎉❤🎉

  • @eewilson9835
    @eewilson9835 24 дні тому

    This looks like what USA provides government assistance people, and aging out could feel invasive so that would definately not be frowned upon, nor presented as a reason for an entire home theme unless it were a rescue situation.

  • @jamiejones8508
    @jamiejones8508 21 день тому +7

    It’s pretty insensitive to be using the word “queer” with the older generation. Very 21st century, but whilst many have reclaimed it for some gay folk in the older generation, particularly men, it comes with a lot of baggage.

  • @hayleyfay4779
    @hayleyfay4779 26 днів тому

    love the lgbtq community ❤ love that they can bring their pets with them to the retirement home

  • @josephang9927
    @josephang9927 13 днів тому

    alone, forgotten and irrelevant 😢

  • @joeyh3167
    @joeyh3167 25 днів тому

    Very surprise Australia let some of their elderly travel halfway the world for a shelter home.Despite their sexuality and identity , they are taxpayer Australians who deserved a good life esp at that tender age like that .

    • @maxineb9598
      @maxineb9598 5 днів тому

      Who said Australians were going halfway round the wirkd to shelter homes??

  • @NakaidaBeauzec
    @NakaidaBeauzec 17 днів тому

    Is there going to be female only aged care?

    • @panadocoughsyrup
      @panadocoughsyrup 12 днів тому +2

      There already is, you would know this if you actually genuinely wanted to know.

  • @burtonwillis6454
    @burtonwillis6454 23 дні тому +3

    If I when the lottery, this is what I'm going to do

  • @haywardgarner4850
    @haywardgarner4850 23 дні тому

    Yay for people who can afford to live here. It’s so inclusive when you have the money to lock yourself in an ivory tower. 😕

  • @denkoxh8610
    @denkoxh8610 20 днів тому +1

    What good is it if you segregate people based on sexuality, culture, religion etc. We are all human, we need to coexist and live togeher

    • @billgreen1861
      @billgreen1861 16 днів тому +2

      Yes, we need to ... but, here we are talking about it and no change in sight. We must look out for ourselves because no-one will.

  • @j2174
    @j2174 22 дні тому

    What is "being queer"? That's a derogatory word used to target homosexual men, often while physically assaulting or attempting to murder them. I am a gay man and do not like to be referred to as queer. I haven't meant many homosexual men that do, especially those that are not constantly in the "community".

    • @valsonder
      @valsonder 11 днів тому +1

      people are also called gay whilst being harassed and assaulted, but you keep the word all the same because it's Yours, don't you? the same applies to queerness. as well as that, disregarding either of our feelings on the matter, queer is the word used in a lot of academic applications, like papers and university modules. it's going to get used a lot because it is the most widespread single word to refer to us after the acronyms. in the end it's fully in your rights to not want to be referred to individually as queer, but you don't get to decide what the entire community feels on the matter 🤷‍♂️

  • @lifebelle5430
    @lifebelle5430 24 дні тому +7

    do not go to north europe it is boring cold and ugly.

    • @EricaGamet
      @EricaGamet 23 дні тому

      I prefer the cold of Sweden over somewhere like Italy any day. But that's a personal preference. My mother prefers the opposite.

  • @karenavey2183
    @karenavey2183 23 дні тому +3

    Stop erasing the words lesbian and gay with ‘queer’.

    • @lucymorrison
      @lucymorrison 20 днів тому +3

      using words that box people in less isn't erasure.

    • @Tia-Louisa
      @Tia-Louisa 18 днів тому +1

      To me the slur "Queer" is still negative and depressing. Not sure why the older person used it on here as they should remember how awful the derogatory word was used with h@yte towards LGBT.

  • @asthecrowflies737
    @asthecrowflies737 26 днів тому +36

    Wow, such lovely, down-to-Earth people! The older generation is so utterly different from the LGBTQIA +people I see today who spend their time hollering about their rights while trying to trample on the rights of others and making a general nuisance of themselves.

    • @pibbitybibbity
      @pibbitybibbity 25 днів тому +1

      Yes, people who insist about being treated with dignity and respect like everybody else can be such a nuisance!

    • @petercritchley8472
      @petercritchley8472 25 днів тому

      I can assure you that these people would have been hollering for their rights through their lives and made a so-called nuisance of themselves. This sort of life and this sort of facility would never have been possible if they weren’t prepared to put themselves out there. Delve into their history and there will be many brave stories. The suggestion that LGBTQ people trample on the right of others is simply not true. Insisting on the right to live an authentic life does not take anybodies rights away.

    • @heliusfengari
      @heliusfengari 25 днів тому

      Trying to trample on the rights of others? Really?? Never heard of any LGBTQ+ person who wants anything more that fair treatment and rights, and wants to enjoy life just like anybody else.

    • @jackfriend4u
      @jackfriend4u 25 днів тому

      "trample on the rights of others"? please elucidate. you do realize it's because of these queer elders kicking up a fuss, protesting, marching etc. when they were younger that us LGBTQI folk have the "rights" we have now. And those rights are also your rights.They made a "general nuisance of themselves" and thank goodness they did.

    • @shanewall9092
      @shanewall9092 24 дні тому

      You’ll find that those people still exist and are the majority. It’s like saying all straight people are nasty, bigoted arseholes. Both loud mouthed groups are the loud minority.

  • @brite1217
    @brite1217 16 днів тому

    You keep living… things don’t “get better” necessarily, you just get better at dealing with life’s bs. You realize this is all bs that won’t matter when you die, so you sort of say fuck it and just be yourself

  • @jayng153
    @jayng153 21 день тому +1

    Give me a break. I'm a proud Gay man. But that's it, I'm still a MAN. Not "Queer", not "LGBTeidneowoow8848++++"...
    We need to STOP segregating ourselves. Stop acting like aliens from another planet and winging that people treat us differently!

  • @kimmickal
    @kimmickal 23 дні тому +3

    Love this!!