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@@xvoidfight1889 I live in the US, most people assume when they talk about their grandpas in the war they were on the allied side, so when they say My grandpa downed 10 German fighters they think the persons grandpa as an allied fighter pilot. The joke ends up being one of those unexpected twist endings.
Not really an idiot, but more of an arogant fool, was Augustus Adolphus of Sweden, who was killed because he refused to wear glasses. During a battle he lost sight of his own troops and rode on his horse towards what he assumed were friendly soldiers. They were not.
To be fair, glasses with corrective lenses were just appearing at the time meaning he probably wouldn't have access to them and glasses before that were just not worth the risk of loosing your eyes if they broke during battle.
Well if the threat to your life is that a torpedo might be hitting the ship you are on, up on deck is probably safer than inside. Going overboard and treading water until rescued is probably a better strategy for him than being stuck inside a room he can't get out of. He did a lot of swimming after his legs stopped working as a means of getting at least some type of exercise in.
Camp followers were common practice in pre-industrial wars. They took care of logistics - foraging/preparing food, repairing clothes/weapons/shoes, medical care, etc. The Romans also had relatively good relations with the Germanic tribes in the area at the time, they thought they were still in friendly territory.
All major nations did that back then. Look up the Briton’s revolt. They did the same thing when facing the Romans. Modern logistics did not exist back then. So having servants and families along allowed for maintenance and support for the Soldiers.
I kinda expected Konrad von Hötzendorf to be on this list, but when I saw Cadorna being there I remembered "Oh yeah, there was that one guy that made him look almost competent" XD
Fun fact: Brazil and Argentina went to war multiple times over Uruguay before Paraguay decided to piss both of them. After that both countries never fought angain. Solano should at least have waited until the next war before atacking one of the larger countries.
Tbf 2 years is a reasonable amount of time to judge someone's ruling. Considering, you probably wouldn't want to deal with putting down rebellions in a middle of war.
Cadorna was a General made by political friends in Rome, so he was first and foremost a Roman politician. A lot of people wanted him to stay in command just a bit longer in the hopes to prove that they were not incompetent for putting him in the position, much less about proving Cadorna's competency. The series of Isonzo was THE prime example of what not to do as a commander, he kept pressing his men into the same area that was getting increasingly difficult to push due to the ever-strengthening defenses. Also because Cadorna believed Trench warfare was cowardice he very rarely ever allowed the construction or entrenchments of proper defenses. It wasn't until Diaz came into command that the Italian front was finally stabilized and the Italians actually managed to preform so much more efficiently being able to use elastic defensive tactics and proper fortifications. Diaz basically put the life of an Italian soldier to hold more worth than Cadorna ever could.
The Italian political class was clueless about war. The general they sent to conquer Abyssinia in 1896, Oreste Baratieri, did a good job wearing down the numerically superior Abyssinian forces through a Fabian strategy, but the politicans demanded he fight and win a glorious victory so they would look good to the voters. Instead, he waged the most disastrous battle ever for a European army in Africa, the Battle of Adwa, losing 11,000 out of 17,000 men. Abyssinia would remain free from European colonialism until 1936 as a result. And if you think a Fascist would do better than these inept democrats, let's talk about Mussolini's shitshow during WW2.
What they kinda forget to include is the reason WHY Varus trusted Armenius he might have grown up as a hostage but he had through LONG serviced shown him self as a loyal soldier of Rome through many campaigns so when warned by a stranger whom would you trust? The man whom have fought at your side for years and even saved your life a number of times. OR the stranger whom come in and tell you that he is a traitor?
11:13 I love the fact that even when the Mongols were bloodthirty, they weren't shy to use a pen. Which makes the dumbass emperor killing their messenger even dumber
Yeah, or Santa Ana. Even Crassus, who just defeated Spartacus but met his end with the Parthian Empire. He was a very wealthy man it is like the owners of Tesla, Facebook, and Microsoft were given an army to do due battle.
Francisco Solano Lopez doesn’t belong on this list! He had a smaller, more elite force than Argentina and Brazil and his plan, on paper, was sound. Also, he suffered regular casualties for the time period but is seen as a butcher because Paraguay already had a small population!
It is I think. Not to mention that all the advances in science, medicine and philosophy was lost. They put them back in the Stone Age. And the Middle East never really recovered.
I mean to be fair, he did order to make the simulation that eventually lead to the accidental firing of a live torpedo so i guess he felt somewhat responsible xD
In truth Custer was one the Union army most skilled commanders winning lots of battles. In the war against the Indians, Custer pushed for diplomacy and integration than outright hostility, but was overruled by the War office. In Little Big Horn, Col. Custer was leading the initial patrol group when he got surrounded by Sitting Bulls forces. He was expecting the main US Union forces down the hill to come and releave his trapped forces, as was planned, but the commanding General opt to stay put and sent a smaller group to try to rescue Custer, obviously it failed. Custer then ordered his remaining troops to try to break through from the encirclment and reach the main Army group. Only one survived.
The way history and animation are combined is brilliant, and the storytelling keeps you hooked until the very end. Thank you for making history this exciting! 🏛🔥good job man
It was a crunching defeat, but if you was in Varus situation, why wouldn't you trust a senior Roman-Germanic auxiliary pathfinder/scout leader, and his men, that served Rome faithful during 15 years time, with a excellent track record. Shall you carry out a campaign, without pathfinders/scouts with local knowledge?
@@Tripact_of_fire Rome have loots of auxiliary Cohorts, even the Emperor have a Germanic bodyguard. So your plane is to carry out the campaign, without pathfinders/scouts with local knowledge?
Uruguay was having a civil war, brazil intervened after rumours of brazillians being targeted by one of the sides, they didnt invade uruguay Then Solano invaded brazil and tried to send his troops to uruguay via argentina to help his allied side of the uruguayan civil war
How did a guy who just missed the arming device on one of three torpedoes (and maybe a few other things) end up on a list with these far greater disaster makers? I'm not sure which side is to be insulted by the combination, but somebody is being snubbed!
18:30 The battle of Caporetto was so terrible that even today, "una Caporetto" is used as an idiom for an unmitigated, terrible disaster in Italian language. Interestingly, Hungarians also have a similar, yet less common idiom, "a Doberdo" to a terrible mess or chaos, referring to another WW1 battle with Italy.
The Dawnson I think can be excused due to it being an acident and atempting to fix his mistake, but hes still an idiot. Everyone else on this list? Absolutly pathetic and infuriating, to the point they activly dont seem to think on the posisble consequences.
Well, the William D. Porter is often referred to as one of the most incompetent ships in US Navy history for a reason as the torpedo incident wasn't the only one the crew was responsible for. When the Porter first left port to join in the Iowa's escort, the crew failed to raise anchor properly and ended up causing severe damage to the ship next to them. Later on, an unsecured depthcharge rolled off the deck and exploded, scaring the other three ships into taking evasive action before the Porter broke radio silence (this was before the torpedo) in order to tell the rest of the fleet what happened. The William D. Porter would eventually be partially responsible for its own demise. During the Battle of Okinawa, the Porter shot down a Japanese Kamikaze plane and ended up sailing right over the wreck, which then exploded. The damage would cause the Porter to sink around 3 hours later.
Thank you Simple History for all your hard work. This is one of my favourite videos. As always wars can bring the stupidity out of people even Today. Keep up the good work Simple History.
Should do a video about the most intelligent soldiers. I pretty sure that Canadian soldier Arthur Currie would be there since he studied the battlefields to limit the losses
Paraguay had lost 90% male population. Maybe Hxmas 2023 should be a mention, though the good news is the population of Gaza had actually INCREASED by 2% since 10-7 !
6:07: Is it any wonder why anyone would quote Vaas? He's one of the most iconic video game villains ever, up there with the likes of Senator Armstrong and Handsome Jack.
Even if some people say the estimate of Paraguayan loss is too much to believe,the minimum estimates of population lost ( in general, not only male) was around 30% , with most of it being male. To put into perspective, is a percentage bigger than the population loss of Germany and the Soviet Union combined in the Second World War. And remember, it was a xix century war. No machine guns, no air strikes. Just muskets, cannons and good old cholera and malaria casualties.
Correction: Longbows did NOT exist during the Roman Empire. It was a Medieval era invention (about 1,200 years after Publius was even born). The best bow during the Roman Empire was the composite bow... considerably shorter range than the medieval longbow. In fact, Roman Legions rarely used bows at all and Publius would not have had many at all in his ranks, if any. The pilum and javelin were the preferred ranged weapon of Roman Legions in his time.
If you are talking about Welsh Longbow, maybe yes. But bows have existed thousands of years. See Holmegaard Bow for example. You are correct that bow was not standard weapon in legions, yet.
@@Taistelukalkkuna I referred specifically to the "Longbow". Historically they don't exist until around 633AD (Welsh) and not become more wide spread across some parts of Europe until 1,200 AD. Bows prior to that were short bows, composite bows, self bows, etc - all of which were substantially shorter in range than the earliest Welsh longbow and had drastically less armor penetration due to draw strength. Rome had NO longbows as this video stated. They had composite bows at best and archers comprised less than 5% of a typical Legion (Rome was still mostly using Pilums and Javelins for ranged combat as it was built into their tactics and formations. Archers were usually not legion soldiers themselves but mercenaries / peasants etc and were exceedingly uncommon at this point in history for Rome. It would be another 110 years before Rome began utilizing bowmen as a larger part of their army than they do here). It's important to differentiate because the Longbow is closer in time to history to Muskets (separated by only 500 to 600 years) vs 2,000+ years for Rome's composite, recurve and self bows at this time in history. The longbow to a Roman would've been almost as far fetched as the musket would've been, considering even their "artillery" mangonels would've struggled to match the range of a longbow.
Brazil did not exactly invade Uruguay, Emperor Pedro II supported the Colorados in the civil war and Solano Lopez supported the Blancos. The Colorados won and joined the Triple Alliance due to a debt with Brazil.
Here are some couple of fun facts. Firstly, I'll say about Mongols two things. In Europe, Mongol Empire reached the Southern - East Europe, almost to the Danube (taking the Pannonian Plain in Balkan peninsula). Second thing is that Mongol Empire have defeated the Ottoman Empire in 15th century. Secondly, I'll say about French Empire (about the Napoleon here two things). First thing is, when he was invading Europe, he took the Dalmatia (also in Balkan peninsula). Second thing is that when the Napoleon tried to invade Russia, he firstly helped Turks with weapons, so the Turks could start to recapture territories from Serbs in 1813. Well also during the WWII when Germany was preparing to invade Yugoslavia in 1941, the Yugoslavian fighter planes and bombers had white cross with red an blue insignia. When the planes were moving Germans thought that those are their planes, no matter how does this color scheme of Yugoslavian planes was different. 18:07 Nicola Tesla (awesome). Next time in Simple History print, put also following people. Those are: Michelle Pupin, Michelle Petrović, and Milutin Milanković.
In world war one the British stoped using the union jack as the marking on their planes because it looked to similar to the german black and white iron cross. These symbols look nothing alike if you get even a halfway decent look at them... but on a moving aircraft you frequently don't. All you have time to recognize is a vague cross shape then your brain fills in the details.
Mongol empire had already collapsed by 15th century, no way they can defeat the ottomans It’s the timurids who are a Turkic empire who defeated the ottomans
@@mattislindehag3065 Here is one fun fact also. Believe it or not, ever reported shooting down of an airplane from ground to air, occurred in Serbia during the WWI. Radoje Raka Ljutovac was the first soldier who shot down the enemy plane. It all occurred on 30th of September 1915, when Austria-Hungary empire sent 3 planes to bomb Kragujevac. Army used pistols, machine guns, and rifles to shoot down airplane. Then Radoje Raka Ljutovac decided to use the old Turkish cannon that was in storage, since it was there. He aimed a cannon towards the plane, an fired at it. Then the cannonball or shell hit the plane, and the plane crashed. After that Radoje Raka Ljutovac went to the crash site, and he saw 3 dead pilots there. When he saw them, he saluted to them. After that people were gathering to see what's going on. Then Serbian army told the citizens these things: Noting to see; Show's over; Go back to your daily life activities. Also Serbian air force did also bombed the Austria-Hungary in 1915, so they can stop their advance.
In this video, we'll be talking about egomaniacal dictators and generals who destroyed entire generations or entire countries. Now let's start things off with Feeble-Minded Seaman Schmuckatelli, who made a mistake that could've killed somebody, but didn't, but could've, but didn't. Yup, definitely belongs on the list.
Really good video and also parts that are hard to even imagine let alone having to be under the command of these people or having ancestors or relatives who were in these incidents.
Always surprised how accurately you portray weapons and armour of the time. Could be just generic, but they are alway modeled after reality. Plus always informative. Superbly done!
It’s interesting that in Italy, many squares and streets are still named after Luigi Cadorna. Historians have mixed opinions on his contributions during the war.
I always joked on these guys, but I understand now the urge to comment first😂 you just dont have any material to base a joke on but want to seize the opportunity.
3:48 yes Cadorna was a huge Baffoon. He literally tried to attack Austria in the worst places. Now if he attacked Tyrol that does bring up harder challenges due to the very poor terrain but Italy was not prepared to attack such a position on the isonzo. Cadorna could’ve possibly just waited for proper siege artillery then do anything but a frontal assault. One of his generals Armando Diaz and his army was the only one to make progress in the isonzo river battles but Diaz was able to bring victory
I am having hard time watching this video without CC, I am deaf so I rely on it so I can understand whats going on in this video. Can you please enable or add it?
11:59 “not unreasonable” Genghis Khan literally sent them a diplomat that said give up your sovereignty you king and he’s supposed to do that. You don’t understand what a king is
Killing an ambassador has always been considered one of the hugest international crimes and an act of war declaration. From Genghis's his point of view they had it coming. After the mob murdered Russian ambassador Griboyedov after attacking Rusiian embassy in Tehran, the Shah sent his grandson to Saint Petersburg to avoid another war with Tsar Nicholas I and gifted to the Tsar the one of his most valuable crown jewels - the Shah Diamond.
There's also Colonel Johann Rahl, commander of the Hessian troops at the Battle of Trenton, NJ, on December 26th, 1776. Prior to the battle, a Loyalist sent Rahl a note informing him of Washington's impending attack on the Hessians at Trenton. However, Rahl couldn't read it since it was in english, and Rahl REFUSED TO INTERRUPT HIS CARD GAME to find somebody to read it to him. After Colonel Rahl died from mortal wounds relieved in the battle, the note was found still in his pocket.
There are idiots in the US armed forces from WWII, who were WestPoint or Annapolis guys, who showed cowardice and never punished because their brothers protected them. In North Africa there where generals who stayed away from battles, on D-Day there where captains who dropped amphibious tanks ten miles from shore instead of inside three miles; being the reason why many sank at Normandy. These guys in this clip were idiots, those others were criminals.
I have a book about great military blunders. One of the chapters was 'Unfit to command.' It included MacArthur, General Buller(the idiot in charge of the British army at Spion Kop) and others.
3:46 This is fascinating. So the video game Isonzo basically would require a handicap for the Italians to keep it realistic. Luigi Cadorna was Chief of Staff on the Army, meaning he was head of the damn operation! Also, I notice from his Wikipedia page that he was old as heck at the time. WWI was from 1915-1918. Luigi Cadorna was born in 1850.
Gods, can you imagine the waiting room these five would be in? TRPMN Dawson: "Well, hey. Look like as though I wasn't the worst after all." Varrus: "Er, you DID nearly kill your head of state. An accident, granted, but-" Muhammed II: "Pot, kettle. I heard Teutorborg went so badly, Varrus, that no Roman Legion bore the numerals 17, 18 or 19 again!" F.S. Lopez: *going on his latest Napoleonic diatribe to the neighbouring Cardona* GEN. Cardona: "Oh ..." *draws his sidearm* "SHUT!! UUUUP!!"
"History may have its fair share of heroes, but it has twice as many fools" feels like a line from Oscar Wilde or Mark Twain. Something witty and cutting and more painfully accurate than we want it to be.
Surprised you never said anything about picket, the guy literally moved his camp from one part of the island he was stationed at to another part which was equally exposed
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i’m broke 😭😭😭
Those dumb bastards
Like video
starting with the willy d
😊
This reminds me of the old joke, During WWII my grandpa downed 10 German fighters, worst mechanic they ever had.
I don't get it
@@xvoidfight1889 He was a German mechanic.
That's hilarious! Love it!
@@xvoidfight1889 I live in the US, most people assume when they talk about their grandpas in the war they were on the allied side, so when they say My grandpa downed 10 German fighters they think the persons grandpa as an allied fighter pilot. The joke ends up being one of those unexpected twist endings.
@kevindavidson8802 Oh, now it sense 🤣
*_"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."_*
- Napoleon Bonaparte
i feel like he learned that from experience.
@@linuxsuperuser Most likely from Russia 🇷🇺
Goes still Hard 🔥🔥🔥
@@PaintingWithLindy Unlikely as Napoleon allegedly said it or something very similar in 1805 at Austerlitz.
I think Sun Tzu said that.
And Napoleon you want to talk about mistakes? Let's have a war with Russia. How did that turn out?
Not really an idiot, but more of an arogant fool, was Augustus Adolphus of Sweden, who was killed because he refused to wear glasses. During a battle he lost sight of his own troops and rode on his horse towards what he assumed were friendly soldiers. They were not.
100% he was a very good leader that just made a fatal mistake that cost of him his life and more.
To be fair, glasses with corrective lenses were just appearing at the time meaning he probably wouldn't have access to them and glasses before that were just not worth the risk of loosing your eyes if they broke during battle.
He also did not wear his armor during that battle.
I was taught that it was because of a thick fog that rolled in that made him get lost and accidentally ride into enemy lines.
Guy sounds near sighted
Luigi Cardona was the best Austro-Hungarian general ever.
Best joke by far 😂 he helped Austria Hungary way more than his country italy
They should made him a national hero lol.
CadoRna, not CaRdona...
Mama mia
We must thank cadorna on failing 12 times on a insignificant river😊😊
Luigi Cadorna would be an excellent lesson for aspiring officers so that they can learn everything NOT to do.
If you can't be a good example, try to be AN example?
in the same way as aspiring tank designers are shown the british Valiant tank ( in Bovington museum ?) to try and find all of the many flaws.
He is in fact studied in Italian military academies with a big red lettering of "Do NOT do this, it is dumb, and if you do it you are even dumber"
Okay but imagine going down in history as the man who saved the president who ended WW2, by shooting a moving torpedo with a pistol
wait what??
@@liamhashmi7750 Didn't watch the video and went straight to the comments, huh?
Some guy tracked the torpedo with his pistol but didn't shoot
@@cartoonraccoon2078 yea pretty much lol
He saved Rosevelt, who won WWII, is what he meant to say.
“Wheel him to the deck for a better view”, man they don’t make em like FDR anymore.
Well if the threat to your life is that a torpedo might be hitting the ship you are on, up on deck is probably safer than inside. Going overboard and treading water until rescued is probably a better strategy for him than being stuck inside a room he can't get out of. He did a lot of swimming after his legs stopped working as a means of getting at least some type of exercise in.
Letting soldiers take their families with them on a large-scale suicide mission is just peak idiocracy.
1863 Civil War watchouts in a nutshell.
Camp followers were common practice in pre-industrial wars. They took care of logistics - foraging/preparing food, repairing clothes/weapons/shoes, medical care, etc.
The Romans also had relatively good relations with the Germanic tribes in the area at the time, they thought they were still in friendly territory.
Idiocy***
All major nations did that back then.
Look up the Briton’s revolt. They did the same thing when facing the Romans.
Modern logistics did not exist back then. So having servants and families along allowed for maintenance and support for the Soldiers.
Boudica did that and Lost 200,000 to 10,000 Romans trapped in a Ravine, in a Battle that would have made Nero Withdraw from Britannia if she Won.
"I'm surrounded by idiots"-Scar The Lion King
"I've got morons on my team!"
- Megatron, Transformers Generation 1
"I'm surrounded by assholes!"
-Dark Helmet, Spaceballs
@@TheOneManWhoBeatYou
“Keep firing, Assholes!”
I thought you were surrounded by gumdrops and ice cream!
@@Scrapyard24c Actually, I thought that was Strother Martin in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.
I kinda expected Konrad von Hötzendorf to be on this list, but when I saw Cadorna being there I remembered "Oh yeah, there was that one guy that made him look almost competent" XD
For the military: Luigi Cadorna and Conrad Von Hötzendorf
In general: The Politicians
Muhammad II of Kwarazm AND Francisco Solano Lopez are in
BOTH categories!!!
Hotzendorf is largely to blame for WW1
Fun fact: Brazil and Argentina went to war multiple times over Uruguay before Paraguay decided to piss both of them. After that both countries never fought angain. Solano should at least have waited until the next war before atacking one of the larger countries.
90% is crazy but at least he died in battle and not hiding inside a bunker.
That kinda feels like put how good he is from 1 to 1.01
@@fiyahquacker2835 truuuu lulllll
Then again bunkers didn't really exist at the time
@@PohEnYuDariusBssstrue but caves did and fortresses kinda do the same idea
@@SymphonyZach fair point
Who was more stupid though, Cadorna or the people who took two whole years to relieve him 🤔
Tbf 2 years is a reasonable amount of time to judge someone's ruling. Considering, you probably wouldn't want to deal with putting down rebellions in a middle of war.
Cadorna was a General made by political friends in Rome, so he was first and foremost a Roman politician.
A lot of people wanted him to stay in command just a bit longer in the hopes to prove that they were not incompetent for putting him in the position, much less about proving Cadorna's competency.
The series of Isonzo was THE prime example of what not to do as a commander, he kept pressing his men into the same area that was getting increasingly difficult to push due to the ever-strengthening defenses.
Also because Cadorna believed Trench warfare was cowardice he very rarely ever allowed the construction or entrenchments of proper defenses.
It wasn't until Diaz came into command that the Italian front was finally stabilized and the Italians actually managed to preform so much more efficiently being able to use elastic defensive tactics and proper fortifications. Diaz basically put the life of an Italian soldier to hold more worth than Cadorna ever could.
The Italian political class was clueless about war. The general they sent to conquer Abyssinia in 1896, Oreste Baratieri, did a good job wearing down the numerically superior Abyssinian forces through a Fabian strategy, but the politicans demanded he fight and win a glorious victory so they would look good to the voters. Instead, he waged the most disastrous battle ever for a European army in Africa, the Battle of Adwa, losing 11,000 out of 17,000 men. Abyssinia would remain free from European colonialism until 1936 as a result.
And if you think a Fascist would do better than these inept democrats, let's talk about Mussolini's shitshow during WW2.
Atleast they didnt comitted martial law at 3am
Oh give it time the day is still young
South korea moment
I agreed!
At least they knew how to use language properly...
Stalin firing all his best generals right before Hitler invaded Russia deserves a mention.
"firing"... that's one way to put it...
he had 90% of his military leadership killed...
Varus! Oh Quinctilius Varus! Give me back my legions!
Damn varus
"Armenius? A traitor? I think not"
What they kinda forget to include is the reason WHY Varus trusted Armenius he might have grown up as a hostage but he had through LONG serviced shown him self as a loyal soldier of Rome through many campaigns so when warned by a stranger whom would you trust? The man whom have fought at your side for years and even saved your life a number of times. OR the stranger whom come in and tell you that he is a traitor?
11:13 I love the fact that even when the Mongols were bloodthirty, they weren't shy to use a pen. Which makes the dumbass emperor killing their messenger even dumber
Well, if there ever was a real-life case for 'Never kill the messenger' ...
They needed to have excuse to invade. Shah provided it.
Theodore Roosevelt: You should be ashamed of your military honor!
👏
I won't find a better comment today this is it for sure....has never rolling ima go back and rewatch it
"Everyone know you were back home saying Thank God for Pearl Hahbar!"
You comment this on every video, and on this one it fits perfectly. I admire the perseverance.
Did he really say that?
I'm surprised you didn't include U.S. General George A. Custer, considering the fact that he was a glory seeking egotist.
Yeah, or Santa Ana. Even Crassus, who just defeated Spartacus but met his end with the Parthian Empire. He was a very wealthy man it is like the owners of Tesla, Facebook, and Microsoft were given an army to do due battle.
Well, at least Custer was never president and did some good work in the American Civil War before.... That
Yeah you're clearly no history major lol pipe down
Francisco Solano Lopez doesn’t belong on this list! He had a smaller, more elite force than Argentina and Brazil and his plan, on paper, was sound. Also, he suffered regular casualties for the time period but is seen as a butcher because Paraguay already had a small population!
@@thomassabino13 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
13:10 low end estimate indeed, I’ve heard the population of modern day Iran is still lower than it was before Ghengis Khan invaded
Good.
It is I think. Not to mention that all the advances in science, medicine and philosophy was lost. They put them back in the Stone Age. And the Middle East never really recovered.
0:30 ”peabrained prat” 😂
That tickled me to 😂😂😂😂
Honorable mention-Sir William Elphinstone
To this day, Varus still hasn't given back his 3 Legions.
3:41 bro stood up for the torpedo man dawson
I mean to be fair, he did order to make the simulation that eventually lead to the accidental firing of a live torpedo so i guess he felt somewhat responsible xD
“Don’t shoot we’re republicans!”
Other ships in the Pacific fleet to the “Willie D”
Ngl, surprised Custer didn't make it on this list for his idiocy at Little Big Horn 😅
In truth Custer was one the Union army most skilled commanders winning lots of battles. In the war against the Indians, Custer pushed for diplomacy and integration than outright hostility, but was overruled by the War office. In Little Big Horn, Col. Custer was leading the initial patrol group when he got surrounded by Sitting Bulls forces. He was expecting the main US Union forces down the hill to come and releave his trapped forces, as was planned, but the commanding General opt to stay put and sent a smaller group to try to rescue Custer, obviously it failed. Custer then ordered his remaining troops to try to break through from the encirclment and reach the main Army group. Only one survived.
From what I remember from the Sam O'Nella video about the USS Porter, the entire ship's crew was utterly incompetent.
That whole ship was a comedy of errors
The way history and animation are combined is brilliant, and the storytelling keeps you hooked until the very end. Thank you for making history this exciting! 🏛🔥good job man
The thumbnail is truly amazing
I agree Simple History, in war there are heroes and fools and these guys fit the the latter category.
Immediately when i saw the name of Varus i said oh no. "Quinctilius Varus give me back my legions"
It was a crunching defeat, but if you was in Varus situation, why wouldn't you trust a senior Roman-Germanic auxiliary pathfinder/scout leader, and his men, that served Rome faithful during 15 years time, with a excellent track record.
Shall you carry out a campaign, without pathfinders/scouts with local knowledge?
@kirgan1000 one word "Germanic"
@@Tripact_of_fire Rome have loots of auxiliary Cohorts, even the Emperor have a Germanic bodyguard.
So your plane is to carry out the campaign, without pathfinders/scouts with local knowledge?
@@kirgan1000 i know but i think it was a mistake to do so
Uruguay was having a civil war, brazil intervened after rumours of brazillians being targeted by one of the sides, they didnt invade uruguay
Then Solano invaded brazil and tried to send his troops to uruguay via argentina to help his allied side of the uruguayan civil war
3:46
A man unimaginative martinet who was ruthless with his troops and dismissive of his country's political authorities.
How did a guy who just missed the arming device on one of three torpedoes (and maybe a few other things) end up on a list with these far greater disaster makers? I'm not sure which side is to be insulted by the combination, but somebody is being snubbed!
18:30 The battle of Caporetto was so terrible that even today, "una Caporetto" is used as an idiom for an unmitigated, terrible disaster in Italian language. Interestingly, Hungarians also have a similar, yet less common idiom, "a Doberdo" to a terrible mess or chaos, referring to another WW1 battle with Italy.
LMAO .. The animation for the first "Idiot" ... hahahaha
The Dawnson I think can be excused due to it being an acident and atempting to fix his mistake, but hes still an idiot.
Everyone else on this list? Absolutly pathetic and infuriating, to the point they activly dont seem to think on the posisble consequences.
Well, the William D. Porter is often referred to as one of the most incompetent ships in US Navy history for a reason as the torpedo incident wasn't the only one the crew was responsible for.
When the Porter first left port to join in the Iowa's escort, the crew failed to raise anchor properly and ended up causing severe damage to the ship next to them.
Later on, an unsecured depthcharge rolled off the deck and exploded, scaring the other three ships into taking evasive action before the Porter broke radio silence (this was before the torpedo) in order to tell the rest of the fleet what happened.
The William D. Porter would eventually be partially responsible for its own demise.
During the Battle of Okinawa, the Porter shot down a Japanese Kamikaze plane and ended up sailing right over the wreck, which then exploded.
The damage would cause the Porter to sink around 3 hours later.
@@Scrapyard24c Actually, only the torpedo incident and her sinking actually happened; the rest are 1990s fabrications.
Genghis khan when his trade offerers get massacred:
Come on let's try again
King: kills the diplomat
Genshin khan: so you have chosen death
"Fool of a took"-Gadalf the white
Thought he was grey at that point.
@@TrevDri ... well, everyone's hair changes as they get older.
Guys give Gadalfs hair a break.
@@littleblackcat2273 yea but your name usually doesn't thats pretty unique.
Thank you Simple History for all your hard work. This is one of my favourite videos. As always wars can bring the stupidity out of people even Today. Keep up the good work Simple History.
0:26 HIS JAWLINE
Many brain cells died in the line of duty while making this video
The ONE thing I will say about Lopez is that at least he fought to the end and died with his men.
Should do a video about the most intelligent soldiers. I pretty sure that Canadian soldier Arthur Currie would be there since he studied the battlefields to limit the losses
Paraguay had lost 90% male population. Maybe Hxmas 2023 should be a mention, though the good news is the population of Gaza had actually INCREASED by 2% since 10-7 !
6:07: Is it any wonder why anyone would quote Vaas? He's one of the most iconic video game villains ever, up there with the likes of Senator Armstrong and Handsome Jack.
Bro, the quote is way older than that game. It was even (most likely falsely) attributed to Einstein.
Even if some people say the estimate of Paraguayan loss is too much to believe,the minimum estimates of population lost ( in general, not only male) was around 30% , with most of it being male. To put into perspective, is a percentage bigger than the population loss of Germany and the Soviet Union combined in the Second World War. And remember, it was a xix century war. No machine guns, no air strikes. Just muskets, cannons and good old cholera and malaria casualties.
Correction: Longbows did NOT exist during the Roman Empire. It was a Medieval era invention (about 1,200 years after Publius was even born). The best bow during the Roman Empire was the composite bow... considerably shorter range than the medieval longbow. In fact, Roman Legions rarely used bows at all and Publius would not have had many at all in his ranks, if any. The pilum and javelin were the preferred ranged weapon of Roman Legions in his time.
Slings outranged bows anyways.
The Romans had auxiliaries (non-citizen soldiers) who served as archers.
If you are talking about Welsh Longbow, maybe yes. But bows have existed thousands of years. See Holmegaard Bow for example. You are correct that bow was not standard weapon in legions, yet.
@@Taistelukalkkuna I referred specifically to the "Longbow". Historically they don't exist until around 633AD (Welsh) and not become more wide spread across some parts of Europe until 1,200 AD. Bows prior to that were short bows, composite bows, self bows, etc - all of which were substantially shorter in range than the earliest Welsh longbow and had drastically less armor penetration due to draw strength.
Rome had NO longbows as this video stated. They had composite bows at best and archers comprised less than 5% of a typical Legion (Rome was still mostly using Pilums and Javelins for ranged combat as it was built into their tactics and formations. Archers were usually not legion soldiers themselves but mercenaries / peasants etc and were exceedingly uncommon at this point in history for Rome. It would be another 110 years before Rome began utilizing bowmen as a larger part of their army than they do here).
It's important to differentiate because the Longbow is closer in time to history to Muskets (separated by only 500 to 600 years) vs 2,000+ years for Rome's composite, recurve and self bows at this time in history. The longbow to a Roman would've been almost as far fetched as the musket would've been, considering even their "artillery" mangonels would've struggled to match the range of a longbow.
Composite bows outrange longbows
You need to do a solo episode on "The Willie D"
Cracked already did it. Not a video hillarious.
Sam O'Nella did a video about it
7:09 I'd like to imagine he actually ran away like that 😂
You have the Iowa in her 1980's configuration, not her 1940's configuration.
They tried their best to visualize the ship. Fucking ingrate🤓
Just for the Record. The lance that hurted "El supremo" was The lance of a brazilian soldier called "Chico Diabo" (Chico the Devil).
Brazil did not exactly invade Uruguay, Emperor Pedro II supported the Colorados in the civil war and Solano Lopez supported the Blancos. The Colorados won and joined the Triple Alliance due to a debt with Brazil.
4:02 *COUGH* Trudeau *COUGH*
And almost all of the top generals in the pentagon.
@@scubasteve3032well they aren’t Nepo babies they are just incompetent bureaucrats
6:08 Far Cry 3! Let's go!
Here are some couple of fun facts.
Firstly, I'll say about Mongols two things. In Europe, Mongol Empire reached the Southern - East Europe, almost to the Danube (taking the Pannonian Plain in Balkan peninsula).
Second thing is that Mongol Empire have defeated the Ottoman Empire in 15th century.
Secondly, I'll say about French Empire (about the Napoleon here two things). First thing is, when he was invading Europe, he took the Dalmatia (also in Balkan peninsula).
Second thing is that when the Napoleon tried to invade Russia, he firstly helped Turks with weapons, so the Turks could start to recapture territories from Serbs in 1813.
Well also during the WWII when Germany was preparing to invade Yugoslavia in 1941, the Yugoslavian fighter planes and bombers had white cross with red an blue insignia. When the planes were moving Germans thought that those are their planes, no matter how does this color scheme of Yugoslavian planes was different.
18:07 Nicola Tesla (awesome).
Next time in Simple History print, put also following people. Those are: Michelle Pupin, Michelle Petrović, and Milutin Milanković.
😊
In world war one the British stoped using the union jack as the marking on their planes because it looked to similar to the german black and white iron cross. These symbols look nothing alike if you get even a halfway decent look at them... but on a moving aircraft you frequently don't. All you have time to recognize is a vague cross shape then your brain fills in the details.
Mongol empire had already collapsed by 15th century, no way they can defeat the ottomans
It’s the timurids who are a Turkic empire who defeated the ottomans
@@mattislindehag3065 Here is one fun fact also. Believe it or not, ever reported shooting down of an airplane from ground to air, occurred in Serbia during the WWI. Radoje Raka Ljutovac was the first soldier who shot down the enemy plane.
It all occurred on 30th of September 1915, when Austria-Hungary empire sent 3 planes to bomb Kragujevac. Army used pistols, machine guns, and rifles to shoot down airplane. Then Radoje Raka Ljutovac decided to use the old Turkish cannon that was in storage, since it was there. He aimed a cannon towards the plane, an fired at it. Then the cannonball or shell hit the plane, and the plane crashed. After that Radoje Raka Ljutovac went to the crash site, and he saw 3 dead pilots there. When he saw them, he saluted to them. After that people were gathering to see what's going on. Then Serbian army told the citizens these things: Noting to see; Show's over; Go back to your daily life activities.
Also Serbian air force did also bombed the Austria-Hungary in 1915, so they can stop their advance.
@@selimcardak7799 The Mongols did defeat the Turks on Angora in year 1402. You can see the details about that on internet.
General Dentz, he surrendered Paris to the Germans in 1940, then he surrendered Syria and Lebanon to the Australians in 1941. He was a buffoon.
Respect to Segesties for trying to warn the Romans. A lot of Romans could've been saved and 3 Legions could've survived if not for Varros.
In this video, we'll be talking about egomaniacal dictators and generals who destroyed entire generations or entire countries. Now let's start things off with Feeble-Minded Seaman Schmuckatelli, who made a mistake that could've killed somebody, but didn't, but could've, but didn't. Yup, definitely belongs on the list.
Really good video and also parts that are hard to even imagine let alone having to be under the command of these people or having ancestors or relatives who were in these incidents.
Oh man sam o nella doing the fdr torpedo one was also funny
I saw the title of this this video and I immediately thought of Luigi Cadorna
I wasn’t surprised to see him in this list 😅
Many farts were spent to make this video.
I really hate that “definition” of insanity, is that what you do when you practice something??
Yes, but you don't expect different results.....
Also shout out to L. Ron Hubbard 😆
I'm not sure if anyone tells you this but man your thumbnails are getting better and better, Makes me laugh everytime a new vid comes out.
What about Winston Churchill? His list of blunders is impressive
12:38 What's the source on the population of Nishapoor? 1.2 - 5 million seems way off scale for a medieval city, even the low estimate.
9:45 I'm Glenn Quagmire
Perfect explanation
*giggity*
Giggity
Always surprised how accurately you portray weapons and armour of the time. Could be just generic, but they are alway modeled after reality. Plus always informative. Superbly done!
"There's a torpedo coming!"
FDR: "My time has come."
I am thankful for you, SimpleHistory. Never would've learned that first one if you hadn't told me.
It’s interesting that in Italy, many squares and streets are still named after Luigi Cadorna. Historians have mixed opinions on his contributions during the war.
Italians are terrible at war so it makes sense they still honor a idiot
I love this! Thank You!
at 09:26 you can see the face of Quinctilius's horse glitch out/swap model for a split second~
I always joked on these guys, but I understand now the urge to comment first😂 you just dont have any material to base a joke on but want to seize the opportunity.
Pointing your pistol at a torpedo seems desperate but it's better than doing nothing. There is a microscopic chance you might achieve something.
3:48 yes Cadorna was a huge Baffoon. He literally tried to attack Austria in the worst places. Now if he attacked Tyrol that does bring up harder challenges due to the very poor terrain but Italy was not prepared to attack such a position on the isonzo. Cadorna could’ve possibly just waited for proper siege artillery then do anything but a frontal assault. One of his generals Armando Diaz and his army was the only one to make progress in the isonzo river battles but Diaz was able to bring victory
I'm pretty sure I played a similar battle in Battlefield 1. It was a tough fight... Damn you, Cadorna!
More like Italian idiot general
The guy who enlisted after exiting the bar.
So most of the US military
@wesleasanchez8701 ai
I am having hard time watching this video without CC, I am deaf so I rely on it so I can understand whats going on in this video. Can you please enable or add it?
I watched one about WWll in history class today!
11:59 “not unreasonable” Genghis Khan literally sent them a diplomat that said give up your sovereignty you king and he’s supposed to do that. You don’t understand what a king is
Killing an ambassador has always been considered one of the hugest international crimes and an act of war declaration. From Genghis's his point of view they had it coming. After the mob murdered Russian ambassador Griboyedov after attacking Rusiian embassy in Tehran, the Shah sent his grandson to Saint Petersburg to avoid another war with Tsar Nicholas I and gifted to the Tsar the one of his most valuable crown jewels - the Shah Diamond.
You sure know how to title a video for us to click on
There's also Colonel Johann Rahl, commander of the Hessian troops at the Battle of Trenton, NJ, on December 26th, 1776.
Prior to the battle, a Loyalist sent Rahl a note informing him of Washington's impending attack on the Hessians at Trenton. However, Rahl couldn't read it since it was in english, and Rahl REFUSED TO INTERRUPT HIS CARD GAME to find somebody to read it to him. After Colonel Rahl died from mortal wounds relieved in the battle, the note was found still in his pocket.
i like how the candidates fart as they die. south park style.
Im surprised general santa anna isnt on here.
that luigi general is the perfect example of the sentence “so stupid even your enemy concerns”
Nice 👌 you never disappoint us
There are idiots in the US armed forces from WWII, who were WestPoint or Annapolis guys, who showed cowardice and never punished because their brothers protected them. In North Africa there where generals who stayed away from battles, on D-Day there where captains who dropped amphibious tanks ten miles from shore instead of inside three miles; being the reason why many sank at Normandy. These guys in this clip were idiots, those others were criminals.
I have a book about great military blunders. One of the chapters was 'Unfit to command.' It included MacArthur, General Buller(the idiot in charge of the British army at Spion Kop) and others.
7:20 To be fair, the line was stabilized by the Italians before British and French soldiers were moved in to the front.
3:46 This is fascinating. So the video game Isonzo basically would require a handicap for the Italians to keep it realistic. Luigi Cadorna was Chief of Staff on the Army, meaning he was head of the damn operation! Also, I notice from his Wikipedia page that he was old as heck at the time. WWI was from 1915-1918. Luigi Cadorna was born in 1850.
The first one is a prime example of why you should always be thorough with IQ tests.
Gods, can you imagine the waiting room these five would be in?
TRPMN Dawson: "Well, hey. Look like as though I wasn't the worst after all."
Varrus: "Er, you DID nearly kill your head of state. An accident, granted, but-"
Muhammed II: "Pot, kettle. I heard Teutorborg went so badly, Varrus, that no Roman Legion bore the numerals 17, 18 or 19 again!"
F.S. Lopez: *going on his latest Napoleonic diatribe to the neighbouring Cardona*
GEN. Cardona: "Oh ..." *draws his sidearm* "SHUT!! UUUUP!!"
Left out Soviet generals in the early years of WWII.
"History may have its fair share of heroes, but it has twice as many fools" feels like a line from Oscar Wilde or Mark Twain. Something witty and cutting and more painfully accurate than we want it to be.
Surprised you never said anything about picket, the guy literally moved his camp from one part of the island he was stationed at to another part which was equally exposed
That guy running while they were shooting at him has my guts aching from laughter 😆