Biggest Idiots In War

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  • Опубліковано 7 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 746

  • @Simplehistory
    @Simplehistory  3 дні тому +60

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  • @kevindavidson8802
    @kevindavidson8802 2 дні тому +312

    This reminds me of the old joke, During WWII my grandpa downed 10 German fighters, worst mechanic they ever had.

    • @xvoidfight1889
      @xvoidfight1889 2 дні тому +5

      I don't get it

    • @brunozeigerts6379
      @brunozeigerts6379 2 дні тому +31

      @@xvoidfight1889 He was a German mechanic.

    • @nyxspiritsong5557
      @nyxspiritsong5557 2 дні тому +6

      That's hilarious! Love it!

    • @kevindavidson8802
      @kevindavidson8802 2 дні тому +15

      @@xvoidfight1889 I live in the US, most people assume when they talk about their grandpas in the war they were on the allied side, so when they say My grandpa downed 10 German fighters they think the persons grandpa as an allied fighter pilot. The joke ends up being one of those unexpected twist endings.

    • @xvoidfight1889
      @xvoidfight1889 2 дні тому +1

      @kevindavidson8802 Oh, now it sense 🤣

  • @aleksandarvil5718
    @aleksandarvil5718 3 дні тому +687

    *_"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."_*
    - Napoleon Bonaparte

    • @linuxsuperuser
      @linuxsuperuser 3 дні тому +31

      i feel like he learned that from experience.

    • @PaintingWithLindy
      @PaintingWithLindy 3 дні тому +24

      @@linuxsuperuser Most likely from Russia 🇷🇺

    • @kingofohio5689
      @kingofohio5689 3 дні тому +10

      Goes still Hard 🔥🔥🔥

    • @julianmhall
      @julianmhall 2 дні тому +2

      @@PaintingWithLindy Unlikely as Napoleon allegedly said it or something very similar in 1805 at Austerlitz.

    • @fatdaddyeddiejr
      @fatdaddyeddiejr 2 дні тому +2

      I think Sun Tzu said that.
      And Napoleon you want to talk about mistakes? Let's have a war with Russia. How did that turn out?

  • @Sandman10032
    @Sandman10032 3 дні тому +967

    Okay but imagine going down in history as the man who saved the president who ended WW2, by shooting a moving torpedo with a pistol

    • @liamhashmi7750
      @liamhashmi7750 3 дні тому +11

      wait what??

    • @cartoonraccoon2078
      @cartoonraccoon2078 3 дні тому +111

      @@liamhashmi7750 Didn't watch the video and went straight to the comments, huh?

    • @cartraz1839
      @cartraz1839 3 дні тому +60

      Some guy tracked the torpedo with his pistol but didn't shoot

    • @liamhashmi7750
      @liamhashmi7750 3 дні тому +7

      @@cartoonraccoon2078 yea pretty much lol

    • @xCosmicMuffinManx
      @xCosmicMuffinManx 3 дні тому +13

      ​@@pfiction2453Technically he didn't, Truman did 🤓

  • @ExtantPerson
    @ExtantPerson 3 дні тому +307

    Luigi Cadorna would be an excellent lesson for aspiring officers so that they can learn everything NOT to do.

    • @markstyles1246
      @markstyles1246 3 дні тому +9

      If you can't be a good example, try to be AN example?

    • @thingamabob3902
      @thingamabob3902 2 дні тому +4

      in the same way as aspiring tank designers are shown the british Valiant tank ( in Bovington museum ?) to try and find all of the many flaws.

    • @DonPatrono
      @DonPatrono День тому +6

      He is in fact studied in Italian military academies with a big red lettering of "Do NOT do this, it is dumb, and if you do it you are even dumber"

    • @mattiaproserpio1453
      @mattiaproserpio1453 17 годин тому

      Haig is worse than cadorna

  • @wilhelmvillagracia9670
    @wilhelmvillagracia9670 3 дні тому +498

    Luigi Cardona was the best Austro-Hungarian general ever.

    • @TC1YT
      @TC1YT 3 дні тому +41

      Best joke by far 😂 he helped Austria Hungary way more than his country italy

    • @lantruongtuan582
      @lantruongtuan582 2 дні тому +17

      They should made him a national hero lol.

    • @javierandreszunigagarcia8791
      @javierandreszunigagarcia8791 2 дні тому +11

      CadoRna, not CaRdona...

    • @RaltBoi
      @RaltBoi 2 дні тому +3

      Mama mia

    • @aliakber775
      @aliakber775 2 дні тому +6

      We must thank cadorna on failing 12 times on a insignificant river😊😊

  • @MTTT1234
    @MTTT1234 3 дні тому +527

    Not really an idiot, but more of an arogant fool, was Augustus Adolphus of Sweden, who was killed because he refused to wear glasses. During a battle he lost sight of his own troops and rode on his horse towards what he assumed were friendly soldiers. They were not.

    • @Scavneger776
      @Scavneger776 3 дні тому +59

      100% he was a very good leader that just made a fatal mistake that cost of him his life and more.

    • @simpro1756
      @simpro1756 2 дні тому +26

      To be fair, glasses with corrective lenses were just appearing at the time meaning he probably wouldn't have access to them and glasses before that were just not worth the risk of loosing your eyes if they broke during battle.

    • @Divano-qw2sb
      @Divano-qw2sb 2 дні тому +6

      He also did not wear his armor during that battle.

    • @jimqatnt
      @jimqatnt День тому +10

      I was taught that it was because of a thick fog that rolled in that made him get lost and accidentally ride into enemy lines.

    • @zero1zerolast393
      @zero1zerolast393 День тому +2

      Guy sounds near sighted

  • @nizaralsaidi4279
    @nizaralsaidi4279 3 дні тому +358

    Letting soldiers take their families with them on a large-scale suicide mission is just peak idiocracy.

    • @fiyahquacker2835
      @fiyahquacker2835 3 дні тому +23

      1863 Civil War watchouts in a nutshell.

    • @Sorcerers_Apprentice
      @Sorcerers_Apprentice 3 дні тому +37

      Camp followers were common practice in pre-industrial wars. They took care of logistics - foraging/preparing food, repairing clothes/weapons/shoes, medical care, etc.
      The Romans also had relatively good relations with the Germanic tribes in the area at the time, they thought they were still in friendly territory.

    • @standardgigachad3297
      @standardgigachad3297 3 дні тому +3

      Idiocy***

    • @critter30002001
      @critter30002001 2 дні тому +15

      All major nations did that back then.
      Look up the Briton’s revolt. They did the same thing when facing the Romans.
      Modern logistics did not exist back then. So having servants and families along allowed for maintenance and support for the Soldiers.

    • @collaborisgaming2190
      @collaborisgaming2190 2 дні тому +4

      Boudica did that and Lost 200,000 to 10,000 Romans trapped in a Ravine, in a Battle that would have made Nero Withdraw from Britannia if she Won.

  • @robertdacquisto6871
    @robertdacquisto6871 3 дні тому +147

    “Wheel him to the deck for a better view”, man they don’t make em like FDR anymore.

    • @dunbar9finger
      @dunbar9finger День тому +8

      Well if the threat to your life is that a torpedo might be hitting the ship you are on, up on deck is probably safer than inside. Going overboard and treading water until rescued is probably a better strategy for him than being stuck inside a room he can't get out of. He did a lot of swimming after his legs stopped working as a means of getting at least some type of exercise in.

    • @sergiojuanmembiela6223
      @sergiojuanmembiela6223 20 годин тому +1

      To put things in perspective, I cannot think of any dreadnought that was sunk by a single torpedo hit.
      I mean, had the torpedo hit, it was not funny business and probably many men could have died. But it would have been very unlikely that the ship would have been sunk. And even in that case it was probably safe to assume that FDR could have been safely evacuated in a raft.

    • @Manco65
      @Manco65 10 годин тому +1

      If it was like most of the torpedoes we had at that time built by the lowest bidder it probably wouldn't have went off anyway.

    • @SavageGreywolf
      @SavageGreywolf 5 годин тому +2

      @@Manco65 All torpedo ordnance during WWII was designed by the Naval Undersea Warfare Center and manufactured at government ordnance plants. The Mark 14 torpedo had some design flaws, but it was not because it was 'built by the lowest bidder', it was because of the technology at the time.

    • @timothyjburton
      @timothyjburton 3 години тому

      I mean getting shot in the ear and standing up and yelling, "Fight Fight Fight"! is pretty Bravo Alpha.

  • @indianajones4321
    @indianajones4321 3 дні тому +217

    For the military: Luigi Cadorna and Conrad Von Hötzendorf
    In general: The Politicians

    • @aleksandarvil5718
      @aleksandarvil5718 3 дні тому +16

      Muhammad II of Kwarazm AND Francisco Solano Lopez are in
      BOTH categories!!!

    • @GageEsterly-us7xm
      @GageEsterly-us7xm 3 дні тому +2

      Hotzendorf is largely to blame for WW1

    • @hernanuliana9111
      @hernanuliana9111 6 годин тому

      Like Churchill, Roosvelt and Stalin?

  • @jokodihaynes419
    @jokodihaynes419 3 дні тому +211

    "I'm surrounded by idiots"-Scar The Lion King

    • @Scrapyard24c
      @Scrapyard24c 3 дні тому +23

      "I've got morons on my team!"
      - Megatron, Transformers Generation 1

    • @TheOneManWhoBeatYou
      @TheOneManWhoBeatYou 3 дні тому +24

      "I'm surrounded by assholes!"
      -Dark Helmet, Spaceballs

    • @NicoBabyman1
      @NicoBabyman1 3 дні тому

      @@TheOneManWhoBeatYou
      “Keep firing, Assholes!”

    • @ShadowMark3_
      @ShadowMark3_ 3 дні тому +2

      I thought you were surrounded by gumdrops and ice cream!

    • @brunozeigerts6379
      @brunozeigerts6379 2 дні тому +1

      @@Scrapyard24c Actually, I thought that was Strother Martin in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

  • @noHarmony1
    @noHarmony1 День тому +28

    I kinda expected Konrad von Hötzendorf to be on this list, but when I saw Cadorna being there I remembered "Oh yeah, there was that one guy that made him look almost competent" XD

  • @Ccdddttt
    @Ccdddttt 3 дні тому +149

    90% is crazy but at least he died in battle and not hiding inside a bunker.

    • @fiyahquacker2835
      @fiyahquacker2835 3 дні тому +20

      That kinda feels like put how good he is from 1 to 1.01

    • @tylerredforge5563
      @tylerredforge5563 3 дні тому

      @@fiyahquacker2835 truuuu lulllll

    • @PohEnYuDariusBsss
      @PohEnYuDariusBsss 3 дні тому +9

      Then again bunkers didn't really exist at the time

    • @SymphonyZach
      @SymphonyZach 2 дні тому +2

      @@PohEnYuDariusBssstrue but caves did and fortresses kinda do the same idea

    • @PohEnYuDariusBsss
      @PohEnYuDariusBsss 2 дні тому +1

      @@SymphonyZach fair point

  • @c.w.johnsonjr6374
    @c.w.johnsonjr6374 2 дні тому +47

    Stalin firing all his best generals right before Hitler invaded Russia deserves a mention.

    • @wildbill6976
      @wildbill6976 День тому

      "firing"... that's one way to put it...
      he had 90% of his military leadership killed...

    • @albertwolanski7688
      @albertwolanski7688 8 годин тому

      How could he know Germany will invade him?

    • @nirghall2458
      @nirghall2458 Годину тому

      Tuchachevsky's conspiracy. Google it idk

  • @TheEmolano
    @TheEmolano 3 дні тому +50

    Fun fact: Brazil and Argentina went to war multiple times over Uruguay before Paraguay decided to piss both of them. After that both countries never fought angain. Solano should at least have waited until the next war before atacking one of the larger countries.

  • @cutlassken6194
    @cutlassken6194 3 дні тому +85

    Varus! Oh Quinctilius Varus! Give me back my legions!

    • @drankjehierdrankjedaar3822
      @drankjehierdrankjedaar3822 3 дні тому +10

      Damn varus

    • @lantruongtuan582
      @lantruongtuan582 2 дні тому +3

      "Armenius? A traitor? I think not"

    • @darth_yoda
      @darth_yoda День тому +3

      What they kinda forget to include is the reason WHY Varus trusted Armenius he might have grown up as a hostage but he had through LONG serviced shown him self as a loyal soldier of Rome through many campaigns so when warned by a stranger whom would you trust? The man whom have fought at your side for years and even saved your life a number of times. OR the stranger whom come in and tell you that he is a traitor?

  • @sankyu3950
    @sankyu3950 3 дні тому +177

    Atleast they didnt comitted martial law at 3am

  • @corymorimacori1059
    @corymorimacori1059 3 дні тому +124

    Theodore Roosevelt: You should be ashamed of your military honor!

    • @VivaLaEdits
      @VivaLaEdits 3 дні тому +6

      👏

    • @cowboys25489
      @cowboys25489 3 дні тому +5

      I won't find a better comment today this is it for sure....has never rolling ima go back and rewatch it

    • @wnc1129
      @wnc1129 3 дні тому +12

      "Everyone know you were back home saying Thank God for Pearl Hahbar!"

    • @ExtantPerson
      @ExtantPerson 3 дні тому +3

      You comment this on every video, and on this one it fits perfectly. I admire the perseverance.

    • @aaronfield7899
      @aaronfield7899 3 дні тому +2

      Did he really say that?

  • @flamethefirefox9006
    @flamethefirefox9006 3 дні тому +140

    I'm surprised you didn't include U.S. General George A. Custer, considering the fact that he was a glory seeking egotist.

    • @commonsenseking6386
      @commonsenseking6386 3 дні тому +19

      Yeah, or Santa Ana. Even Crassus, who just defeated Spartacus but met his end with the Parthian Empire. He was a very wealthy man it is like the owners of Tesla, Facebook, and Microsoft were given an army to do due battle.

    • @AutismTakesOn
      @AutismTakesOn 3 дні тому +14

      Well, at least Custer was never president and did some good work in the American Civil War before.... That

    • @thomassabino13
      @thomassabino13 3 дні тому +8

      Yeah you're clearly no history major lol pipe down

    • @IsaiahRichards692
      @IsaiahRichards692 3 дні тому +1

      Francisco Solano Lopez doesn’t belong on this list! He had a smaller, more elite force than Argentina and Brazil and his plan, on paper, was sound. Also, he suffered regular casualties for the time period but is seen as a butcher because Paraguay already had a small population!

    • @flamethefirefox9006
      @flamethefirefox9006 3 дні тому +1

      @@thomassabino13 ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

  • @knightingale9833
    @knightingale9833 3 дні тому +72

    Who was more stupid though, Cadorna or the people who took two whole years to relieve him 🤔

    • @skyripper2837
      @skyripper2837 3 дні тому +4

      Tbf 2 years is a reasonable amount of time to judge someone's ruling. Considering, you probably wouldn't want to deal with putting down rebellions in a middle of war.

    • @dallasjonpaulgrove547
      @dallasjonpaulgrove547 2 дні тому +4

      Cadorna was a General made by political friends in Rome, so he was first and foremost a Roman politician.
      A lot of people wanted him to stay in command just a bit longer in the hopes to prove that they were not incompetent for putting him in the position, much less about proving Cadorna's competency.
      The series of Isonzo was THE prime example of what not to do as a commander, he kept pressing his men into the same area that was getting increasingly difficult to push due to the ever-strengthening defenses.
      Also because Cadorna believed Trench warfare was cowardice he very rarely ever allowed the construction or entrenchments of proper defenses.
      It wasn't until Diaz came into command that the Italian front was finally stabilized and the Italians actually managed to preform so much more efficiently being able to use elastic defensive tactics and proper fortifications. Diaz basically put the life of an Italian soldier to hold more worth than Cadorna ever could.

    • @petergray2712
      @petergray2712 День тому +2

      The Italian political class was clueless about war. The general they sent to conquer Abyssinia in 1896, Oreste Baratieri, did a good job wearing down the numerically superior Abyssinian forces through a Fabian strategy, but the politicans demanded he fight and win a glorious victory so they would look good to the voters. Instead, he waged the most disastrous battle ever for a European army in Africa, the Battle of Adwa, losing 11,000 out of 17,000 men. Abyssinia would remain free from European colonialism until 1936 as a result.
      And if you think a Fascist would do better than these inept democrats, let's talk about Mussolini's shitshow during WW2.

    • @sergiojuanmembiela6223
      @sergiojuanmembiela6223 20 годин тому

      Not stupidity, but:
      * You do not want to fire generals just because of lost battles. Sometimes battles cannot just be won. And sometimes even mediocre generals win battles through numbers and luck. Certainly a defeat should cause some concern and research, but then the people at the top would have been given information from Cadorna and his entourage.
      * It is not that other countries'offensives in the war were doing great, either. It was assumed that the defendant would have massive advantages.
      * And, even after you have realized the man is stupid, firing him reflects poorly on those who chose it. So they may try just to "wait a little more" to see if something changes and there is a victory that validates the choice, or even provides for an opportunity for replacing him without linking to his incompetence ("due to health reasons the General has asked to be granted leave.")

    • @tov.zheleznyakov7494
      @tov.zheleznyakov7494 14 годин тому

      What's your problem??!! That was a decision of the king, it was not democratic or something

  • @goldosprey
    @goldosprey 3 дні тому +20

    11:13 I love the fact that even when the Mongols were bloodthirty, they weren't shy to use a pen. Which makes the dumbass emperor killing their messenger even dumber

    • @CM26617
      @CM26617 3 дні тому +6

      Well, if there ever was a real-life case for 'Never kill the messenger' ...

    • @Taistelukalkkuna
      @Taistelukalkkuna 2 дні тому

      They needed to have excuse to invade. Shah provided it.

  • @Gideon0215
    @Gideon0215 3 дні тому +16

    Honorable mention-Sir William Elphinstone

  • @BensonCaisip
    @BensonCaisip 3 дні тому +13

    To this day, Varus still hasn't given back his 3 Legions.

  • @alexyswarjovaara3993
    @alexyswarjovaara3993 3 дні тому +30

    0:30 ”peabrained prat” 😂

  • @Goc4ever
    @Goc4ever 3 дні тому +12

    I agree Simple History, in war there are heroes and fools and these guys fit the the latter category.

  • @cloud2389
    @cloud2389 3 дні тому +39

    “Don’t shoot we’re republicans!”
    Other ships in the Pacific fleet to the “Willie D”

  • @SirAsdf
    @SirAsdf 3 дні тому +9

    From what I remember from the Sam O'Nella video about the USS Porter, the entire ship's crew was utterly incompetent.

  • @lygames_1027
    @lygames_1027 2 дні тому +7

    Uruguay was having a civil war, brazil intervened after rumours of brazillians being targeted by one of the sides, they didnt invade uruguay
    Then Solano invaded brazil and tried to send his troops to uruguay via argentina to help his allied side of the uruguayan civil war

  • @isauldron4337
    @isauldron4337 2 дні тому +5

    Genghis khan when his trade offerers get massacred:
    Come on let's try again
    King: kills the diplomat
    Genshin khan: so you have chosen death

    • @michealklondike4049
      @michealklondike4049 7 годин тому +1

      Which is fair enough. The king was just being an A-hole at that point. They could have negotiated something 💀

  • @knightingale9833
    @knightingale9833 3 дні тому +20

    13:10 low end estimate indeed, I’ve heard the population of modern day Iran is still lower than it was before Ghengis Khan invaded

    • @Horologist-zu5vq
      @Horologist-zu5vq 2 дні тому +1

      Good.

    • @micg7282
      @micg7282 2 дні тому +1

      It is I think. Not to mention that all the advances in science, medicine and philosophy was lost. They put them back in the Stone Age. And the Middle East never really recovered.

  • @Tripact_of_fire
    @Tripact_of_fire 3 дні тому +12

    Immediately when i saw the name of Varus i said oh no. "Quinctilius Varus give me back my legions"

    • @kirgan1000
      @kirgan1000 День тому +1

      It was a crunching defeat, but if you was in Varus situation, why wouldn't you trust a senior Roman-Germanic auxiliary pathfinder/scout leader, and his men, that served Rome faithful during 15 years time, with a excellent track record.
      Shall you carry out a campaign, without pathfinders/scouts with local knowledge?

    • @Tripact_of_fire
      @Tripact_of_fire День тому

      @kirgan1000 one word "Germanic"

    • @kirgan1000
      @kirgan1000 День тому

      @@Tripact_of_fire Rome have loots of auxiliary Cohorts, even the Emperor have a Germanic bodyguard.
      So your plane is to carry out the campaign, without pathfinders/scouts with local knowledge?

    • @Tripact_of_fire
      @Tripact_of_fire День тому

      @@kirgan1000 i know but i think it was a mistake to do so

  • @time_warriors
    @time_warriors 3 дні тому +7

    The way history and animation are combined is brilliant, and the storytelling keeps you hooked until the very end. Thank you for making history this exciting! 🏛🔥good job man

  • @rafaellorentz6592
    @rafaellorentz6592 2 дні тому +3

    Even if some people say the estimate of Paraguayan loss is too much to believe,the minimum estimates of population lost ( in general, not only male) was around 30% , with most of it being male. To put into perspective, is a percentage bigger than the population loss of Germany and the Soviet Union combined in the Second World War. And remember, it was a xix century war. No machine guns, no air strikes. Just muskets, cannons and good old cholera and malaria casualties.

  • @nematolvajkergetok5104
    @nematolvajkergetok5104 2 дні тому +4

    18:30 The battle of Caporetto was so terrible that even today, "una Caporetto" is used as an idiom for an unmitigated, terrible disaster in Italian language. Interestingly, Hungarians also have a similar, yet less common idiom, "a Doberdo" to a terrible mess or chaos, referring to another WW1 battle with Italy.

  • @SwattyBoiPlays
    @SwattyBoiPlays 3 дні тому +11

    3:41 bro stood up for the torpedo man dawson

    • @blackfox7448
      @blackfox7448 3 дні тому +2

      I mean to be fair, he did order to make the simulation that eventually lead to the accidental firing of a live torpedo so i guess he felt somewhat responsible xD

  • @HammerJammer81
    @HammerJammer81 3 дні тому +7

    LMAO .. The animation for the first "Idiot" ... hahahaha

  • @lauratomaszewski7942
    @lauratomaszewski7942 3 дні тому +9

    The thumbnail is truly amazing

  • @rpower1401
    @rpower1401 3 дні тому +4

    How did a guy who just missed the arming device on one of three torpedoes (and maybe a few other things) end up on a list with these far greater disaster makers? I'm not sure which side is to be insulted by the combination, but somebody is being snubbed!

  • @peterwhite6415
    @peterwhite6415 3 дні тому +44

    The Dawnson I think can be excused due to it being an acident and atempting to fix his mistake, but hes still an idiot.
    Everyone else on this list? Absolutly pathetic and infuriating, to the point they activly dont seem to think on the posisble consequences.

    • @Scrapyard24c
      @Scrapyard24c 2 дні тому +2

      Well, the William D. Porter is often referred to as one of the most incompetent ships in US Navy history for a reason as the torpedo incident wasn't the only one the crew was responsible for.
      When the Porter first left port to join in the Iowa's escort, the crew failed to raise anchor properly and ended up causing severe damage to the ship next to them.
      Later on, an unsecured depthcharge rolled off the deck and exploded, scaring the other three ships into taking evasive action before the Porter broke radio silence (this was before the torpedo) in order to tell the rest of the fleet what happened.
      The William D. Porter would eventually be partially responsible for its own demise.
      During the Battle of Okinawa, the Porter shot down a Japanese Kamikaze plane and ended up sailing right over the wreck, which then exploded.
      The damage would cause the Porter to sink around 3 hours later.

    • @bkjeong4302
      @bkjeong4302 День тому +1

      @@Scrapyard24c Actually, only the torpedo incident and her sinking actually happened; the rest are 1990s fabrications.

  • @seanmueller7125
    @seanmueller7125 3 дні тому +30

    Ngl, surprised Custer didn't make it on this list for his idiocy at Little Big Horn 😅

    • @inisipisTV
      @inisipisTV 3 дні тому +9

      In truth Custer was one the Union army most skilled commanders winning lots of battles. In the war against the Indians, Custer pushed for diplomacy and integration than outright hostility, but was overruled by the War office. In Little Big Horn, Col. Custer was leading the initial patrol group when he got surrounded by Sitting Bulls forces. He was expecting the main US Union forces down the hill to come and releave his trapped forces, as was planned, but the commanding General opt to stay put and sent a smaller group to try to rescue Custer, obviously it failed. Custer then ordered his remaining troops to try to break through from the encirclment and reach the main Army group. Only one survived.

  • @llucas.M.O
    @llucas.M.O 2 дні тому +3

    Just for the Record. The lance that hurted "El supremo" was The lance of a brazilian soldier called "Chico Diabo" (Chico the Devil).

  • @bruceanthony3357
    @bruceanthony3357 22 години тому +1

    Have you noticed some of the worst idiots placed in command are "daddy's boys". They never develop strategies nor are trained under harsh conditions. Their synonymous to the coach's son being the quarterback of the team. Lose every time.

  • @arthurcardozo5369
    @arthurcardozo5369 День тому +3

    Brazil did not exactly invade Uruguay, Emperor Pedro II supported the Colorados in the civil war and Solano Lopez supported the Blancos. The Colorados won and joined the Triple Alliance due to a debt with Brazil.

  • @jacobzehner2004
    @jacobzehner2004 3 дні тому +5

    3:46
    A man unimaginative martinet who was ruthless with his troops and dismissive of his country's political authorities.

  • @Cheeseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
    @Cheeseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee 2 дні тому +2

    The ONE thing I will say about Lopez is that at least he fought to the end and died with his men.

  • @jokodihaynes419
    @jokodihaynes419 3 дні тому +26

    "Fool of a took"-Gadalf the white

    • @TrevDri
      @TrevDri 3 дні тому +1

      Thought he was grey at that point.

    • @littleblackcat2273
      @littleblackcat2273 3 дні тому

      @@TrevDri ... well, everyone's hair changes as they get older.

    • @DOOM_Dwarf
      @DOOM_Dwarf 2 дні тому

      Guys give Gadalfs hair a break.

    • @TrevDri
      @TrevDri 2 дні тому

      @@littleblackcat2273 yea but your name usually doesn't thats pretty unique.

  • @sabiant.lawson2909
    @sabiant.lawson2909 3 дні тому +10

    6:08 Far Cry 3! Let's go!

  • @ben9724
    @ben9724 3 дні тому +3

    Should do a video about the most intelligent soldiers. I pretty sure that Canadian soldier Arthur Currie would be there since he studied the battlefields to limit the losses

  • @martinrosschou
    @martinrosschou 19 годин тому +3

    I have a feeling we can soon add Putin to this list.

  • @KyleShiflet13666
    @KyleShiflet13666 3 дні тому +6

    You need to do a solo episode on "The Willie D"

  • @mattiafrancesco
    @mattiafrancesco 3 дні тому +14

    It’s interesting that in Italy, many squares and streets are still named after Luigi Cadorna. Historians have mixed opinions on his contributions during the war.

    • @Tahitilover1899
      @Tahitilover1899 2 дні тому

      Italians are terrible at war so it makes sense they still honor a idiot

  • @BigislandEJ
    @BigislandEJ 13 годин тому +1

    The US Navy is very well known for placing blame on lowly seaman to cover for institutional idiocy, I wouldn’t be so sure the story is entirely accurate.

  • @AirJoe
    @AirJoe 3 дні тому +5

    7:09 I'd like to imagine he actually ran away like that 😂

  • @BaxterAndLunala
    @BaxterAndLunala 3 дні тому +5

    6:07: Is it any wonder why anyone would quote Vaas? He's one of the most iconic video game villains ever, up there with the likes of Senator Armstrong and Handsome Jack.

    • @skrahnha
      @skrahnha 3 дні тому

      Bro, the quote is way older than that game. It was even (most likely falsely) attributed to Einstein.

  • @ianblake815
    @ianblake815 3 дні тому +4

    Also shout out to L. Ron Hubbard 😆

  • @KingOfStopMotion
    @KingOfStopMotion 2 дні тому +1

    Respect to Segesties for trying to warn the Romans. A lot of Romans could've been saved and 3 Legions could've survived if not for Varros.

  • @shashwatsreenivasan4505
    @shashwatsreenivasan4505 3 дні тому +4

    Oh man sam o nella doing the fdr torpedo one was also funny

  • @ericlathan6178
    @ericlathan6178 2 дні тому +2

    I really hate that “definition” of insanity, is that what you do when you practice something??

    • @kenneth9874
      @kenneth9874 День тому

      Yes, but you don't expect different results.....

  • @dallinn9164
    @dallinn9164 3 дні тому +1

    "There's a torpedo coming!"
    FDR: "My time has come."

  • @marleegould542
    @marleegould542 22 години тому

    The whole career of the William D. Porter is hilarious, I highly recommend watching the many videos people have made about it. It was simultaneously the unluckiest and luckiest ship in the Navy.

  • @seanlander9321
    @seanlander9321 2 дні тому +1

    General Dentz, he surrendered Paris to the Germans in 1940, then he surrendered Syria and Lebanon to the Australians in 1941. He was a buffoon.

  • @AFatT34
    @AFatT34 3 дні тому +2

    I am having hard time watching this video without CC, I am deaf so I rely on it so I can understand whats going on in this video. Can you please enable or add it?

  • @Hathur
    @Hathur 3 дні тому +5

    Correction: Longbows did NOT exist during the Roman Empire. It was a Medieval era invention (about 1,200 years after Publius was even born). The best bow during the Roman Empire was the composite bow... considerably shorter range than the medieval longbow. In fact, Roman Legions rarely used bows at all and Publius would not have had many at all in his ranks, if any. The pilum and javelin were the preferred ranged weapon of Roman Legions in his time.

    • @jffry890
      @jffry890 3 дні тому +2

      Slings outranged bows anyways.

    • @lawrenceofarabia9219
      @lawrenceofarabia9219 3 дні тому +2

      The Romans had auxiliaries (non-citizen soldiers) who served as archers.

    • @Taistelukalkkuna
      @Taistelukalkkuna 2 дні тому +1

      If you are talking about Welsh Longbow, maybe yes. But bows have existed thousands of years. See Holmegaard Bow for example. You are correct that bow was not standard weapon in legions, yet.

    • @Hathur
      @Hathur 2 дні тому +1

      @@Taistelukalkkuna I referred specifically to the "Longbow". Historically they don't exist until around 633AD (Welsh) and not become more wide spread across some parts of Europe until 1,200 AD. Bows prior to that were short bows, composite bows, self bows, etc - all of which were substantially shorter in range than the earliest Welsh longbow and had drastically less armor penetration due to draw strength.
      Rome had NO longbows as this video stated. They had composite bows at best and archers comprised less than 5% of a typical Legion (Rome was still mostly using Pilums and Javelins for ranged combat as it was built into their tactics and formations. Archers were usually not legion soldiers themselves but mercenaries / peasants etc and were exceedingly uncommon at this point in history for Rome. It would be another 110 years before Rome began utilizing bowmen as a larger part of their army than they do here).
      It's important to differentiate because the Longbow is closer in time to history to Muskets (separated by only 500 to 600 years) vs 2,000+ years for Rome's composite, recurve and self bows at this time in history. The longbow to a Roman would've been almost as far fetched as the musket would've been, considering even their "artillery" mangonels would've struggled to match the range of a longbow.

    • @kenneth9874
      @kenneth9874 День тому

      Composite bows outrange longbows

  • @txgunguy2766
    @txgunguy2766 День тому

    There's also Colonel Johann Rahl, commander of the Hessian troops at the Battle of Trenton, NJ, on December 26th, 1776.
    Prior to the battle, a Loyalist sent Rahl a note informing him of Washington's impending attack on the Hessians at Trenton. However, Rahl couldn't read it since it was in english, and Rahl REFUSED TO INTERRUPT HIS CARD GAME to find somebody to read it to him. After Colonel Rahl died from mortal wounds relieved in the battle, the note was found still in his pocket.

  • @junedhussain6252
    @junedhussain6252 2 дні тому +1

    Thank you Simple History for all your hard work. This is one of my favourite videos. As always wars can bring the stupidity out of people even Today. Keep up the good work Simple History.

  • @jagmarc
    @jagmarc День тому +1

    Paraguay had lost 90% male population. Maybe Hxmas 2023 should be a mention, though the good news is the population of Gaza had actually INCREASED by 2% since 10-7 !

  • @HRHooChicken
    @HRHooChicken 3 дні тому +2

    What about Winston Churchill? His list of blunders is impressive

    • @esajuhanirintamaki965
      @esajuhanirintamaki965 14 годин тому

      Especially, when he suggested Gallipoli operation.

    • @HRHooChicken
      @HRHooChicken 9 годин тому

      @ yes. That nearly ended his career and he ended up as an officer on the frontline because of that. Other blunders in WW2 were Norway, Greece, Italy. He was too inept and too drunk to make any good big decisions.

  • @a.m.7165
    @a.m.7165 2 дні тому +1

    Pointing your pistol at a torpedo seems desperate but it's better than doing nothing. There is a microscopic chance you might achieve something.

  • @JoseHernandez-Mendez
    @JoseHernandez-Mendez 3 дні тому +6

    9:45 I'm Glenn Quagmire

  • @Activated_Complex
    @Activated_Complex День тому +1

    In this video, we'll be talking about egomaniacal dictators and generals who destroyed entire generations or entire countries. Now let's start things off with Feeble-Minded Seaman Schmuckatelli, who made a mistake that could've killed somebody, but didn't, but could've, but didn't. Yup, definitely belongs on the list.

  • @TridentAminations
    @TridentAminations День тому

    that luigi general is the perfect example of the sentence “so stupid even your enemy concerns”

  • @Shaosprojects
    @Shaosprojects 3 дні тому +2

    I saw the title of this this video and I immediately thought of Luigi Cadorna
    I wasn’t surprised to see him in this list 😅

  • @lisalennox7835
    @lisalennox7835 3 дні тому +4

    I watched one about WWll in history class today!

  • @ll_Chaos_ll
    @ll_Chaos_ll День тому

    I'm not sure if anyone tells you this but man your thumbnails are getting better and better, Makes me laugh everytime a new vid comes out.

  • @johnmcvey4243
    @johnmcvey4243 3 дні тому +3

    Im surprised general santa anna isnt on here.

  • @GuukanKitsune
    @GuukanKitsune 16 годин тому

    ...the Willie D Porter... yeah.
    Everyone, just... read up on that ship. The torpedo incident was just ONE of its many famous blunders. It is an INFAMOUS ship for sure.

  • @Harikejn
    @Harikejn 3 дні тому +13

    Here are some couple of fun facts.
    Firstly, I'll say about Mongols two things. In Europe, Mongol Empire reached the Southern - East Europe, almost to the Danube (taking the Pannonian Plain in Balkan peninsula).
    Second thing is that Mongol Empire have defeated the Ottoman Empire in 15th century.
    Secondly, I'll say about French Empire (about the Napoleon here two things). First thing is, when he was invading Europe, he took the Dalmatia (also in Balkan peninsula).
    Second thing is that when the Napoleon tried to invade Russia, he firstly helped Turks with weapons, so the Turks could start to recapture territories from Serbs in 1813.
    Well also during the WWII when Germany was preparing to invade Yugoslavia in 1941, the Yugoslavian fighter planes and bombers had white cross with red an blue insignia. When the planes were moving Germans thought that those are their planes, no matter how does this color scheme of Yugoslavian planes was different.
    18:07 Nicola Tesla (awesome).
    Next time in Simple History print, put also following people. Those are: Michelle Pupin, Michelle Petrović, and Milutin Milanković.

    • @mingfanzhang4600
      @mingfanzhang4600 3 дні тому +2

      😊

    • @mattislindehag3065
      @mattislindehag3065 3 дні тому +2

      In world war one the British stoped using the union jack as the marking on their planes because it looked to similar to the german black and white iron cross. These symbols look nothing alike if you get even a halfway decent look at them... but on a moving aircraft you frequently don't. All you have time to recognize is a vague cross shape then your brain fills in the details.

    • @selimcardak7799
      @selimcardak7799 2 дні тому +1

      Mongol empire had already collapsed by 15th century, no way they can defeat the ottomans
      It’s the timurids who are a Turkic empire who defeated the ottomans

    • @Harikejn
      @Harikejn 2 дні тому +1

      @@mattislindehag3065 Here is one fun fact also. Believe it or not, ever reported shooting down of an airplane from ground to air, occurred in Serbia during the WWI. Radoje Raka Ljutovac was the first soldier who shot down the enemy plane.
      It all occurred on 30th of September 1915, when Austria-Hungary empire sent 3 planes to bomb Kragujevac. Army used pistols, machine guns, and rifles to shoot down airplane. Then Radoje Raka Ljutovac decided to use the old Turkish cannon that was in storage, since it was there. He aimed a cannon towards the plane, an fired at it. Then the cannonball or shell hit the plane, and the plane crashed. After that Radoje Raka Ljutovac went to the crash site, and he saw 3 dead pilots there. When he saw them, he saluted to them. After that people were gathering to see what's going on. Then Serbian army told the citizens these things: Noting to see; Show's over; Go back to your daily life activities.
      Also Serbian air force did also bombed the Austria-Hungary in 1915, so they can stop their advance.

    • @lesamar8611
      @lesamar8611 2 дні тому +1

      @@selimcardak7799 The Mongols did defeat the Turks on Angora in year 1402. You can see the details about that on internet.

  • @subtlewhatssubtle
    @subtlewhatssubtle День тому

    "History may have its fair share of heroes, but it has twice as many fools" feels like a line from Oscar Wilde or Mark Twain. Something witty and cutting and more painfully accurate than we want it to be.

  • @simonesilvestri7341
    @simonesilvestri7341 22 години тому

    Just few word in defence of Cadorna: 1) The Isonzo is 1 of the 2 passages throug the Alps, the second one were too tight for an army passage 2) On that front were the strongest, so make sense to attack the enemy in the only place just that large to support a campaign battle 3) Cadorna use the same strategy that every WW1 general uses (frontal attack with artillery), what other strategy he can use.
    With that im not defending Cadorna, but i want to show to you that, yes is cruel, very cruel, but is not entirely his fault.

  • @petergray2712
    @petergray2712 День тому

    Honorable mention: Manuel Silvestre. Following the loss of their empire to the USA in the Spanish American War, Spain tried to colonize the Rif region of northern Morocco in an effort to regain prestige. The native Moroccans rebelled under Abd el-Krim, who successfully drove the Spanish back to the Mediterranean coast. The Spanish government responded by sending the magnificently mustachioed Silvestre with a sizeable force to crush the rebels.
    Silvestre was a man with a swaggering ego who owed his command to his lifelong friend, Spanish King Alfonso XIII. This episode in cronyism saddled the poorly fed and led Spanish troops with a monstrously arrogant commander. Silvestre dismissed his enemy as mere savages, underestimating the abilities of Moroccan soldiers and Krim. His Army consisted mainly of poorly paid and provisioned conscripts, led by officers that preferred partying, gambling, and whoring to actual fighting, and were subjected to draconian discipline and poor living conditions that sapped morale. Silvestre refused to study his enemy and his tactics and rejected the advice of soldiers who had fought previously the rebels and went out of his way to alienate the Muslim population through boorish behavior.
    In his pursuit of the Moorish rebels, Silvestre failed to build a stable logistical system to supply his troops, and what aupplies had reached his army were usually stolen and sold on the black market by the corrupt Spanish officer corps. He compounded all of his problems by stationing his troops in blockhouses that lacked adequate water supplies and were scattered and isolated from each other, which permitted them to be easily surrounded and captured by the rebels.
    On 22 July 1921, following several minor victories over the demoralized Spanish, Abd el-Krim and his army attacked the main Spanish military camp at Annual. After several hours of fighting and with supplies becoming critically low, Silvestre decided to retreat. Spanish Moroccan troops deserted and defected during the early stages of the retreat, and the poorly led Spanish troops routed into an undisciplined mob, and they were cut down like wheat by Moorish riflemen and horsemen. Silvestre suffered a mental breakdown, screaming to his men, "Run, run, the bogeyman is coming," as other officers were attempting to regroup and rally their forces.
    Of the 5000 Spanish soldiers at Annual proper, only 570 men aurvived, of whom 326 were taken prisoner by the Moroccans. Another 8000 soldiers would die during the long retreat of the entire army to the coast after the battle. Silvestre reportedly committed suicide by a gunshot to the head, but there is no definitive proof as his body was never recovered after the battle. King Alfonso XIII, whose love of swashbuckling men led to his patronage of Silvestre, was playing golf in Monaco when he received word of the disaster. His alleged reply was "chicken is cheap" in response to the heavy losses, a callous quote that would set in motion events leading to his overthrow almost ten years later.

  • @Kat-amber-t2z
    @Kat-amber-t2z 15 годин тому

    I thought the first story was that they had only prepared 2 torpedos for the exercise, so when the captain ordered a third shot it was live because it had never been intended for the exercise.
    Oh, but then the same ship fired on a meeting of commanding officers in Alaska, right before it was supposed to be shipped out. Not surprisingly, they decided to say nothing and let it go for the sake of their own safety.

  • @Panzersoldaten
    @Panzersoldaten 3 дні тому +3

    3:48 yes Cadorna was a huge Baffoon. He literally tried to attack Austria in the worst places. Now if he attacked Tyrol that does bring up harder challenges due to the very poor terrain but Italy was not prepared to attack such a position on the isonzo. Cadorna could’ve possibly just waited for proper siege artillery then do anything but a frontal assault. One of his generals Armando Diaz and his army was the only one to make progress in the isonzo river battles but Diaz was able to bring victory

    • @mirceazaharia2094
      @mirceazaharia2094 3 дні тому

      I'm pretty sure I played a similar battle in Battlefield 1. It was a tough fight... Damn you, Cadorna!

    • @GPDermawan
      @GPDermawan 3 дні тому

      More like Italian idiot general

  • @yallprettysus
    @yallprettysus 3 дні тому +5

    I always joked on these guys, but I understand now the urge to comment first😂 you just dont have any material to base a joke on but want to seize the opportunity.

  • @CM26617
    @CM26617 3 дні тому

    Gods, can you imagine the waiting room these five would be in?
    TRPMN Dawson: "Well, hey. Look like as though I wasn't the worst after all."
    Varrus: "Er, you DID nearly kill your head of state. An accident, granted, but-"
    Muhammed II: "Pot, kettle. I heard Teutorborg went so badly, Varrus, that no Roman Legion bore the numerals 17, 18 or 19 again!"
    F.S. Lopez: *going on his latest Napoleonic diatribe to the neighbouring Cardona*
    GEN. Cardona: "Oh ..." *draws his sidearm* "SHUT!! UUUUP!!"

  • @movingwater7312
    @movingwater7312 3 дні тому +3

    i like how the candidates fart as they die. south park style.

  • @rtyrsson
    @rtyrsson 13 годин тому

    When I saw "Biggest idiots in war" I expected it to be far longer than eighteen and a half minutes. History is replete with them.

  • @azazeldeath
    @azazeldeath 20 годин тому +1

    Okay so story 1 is waaaay more wild than anyone would believe. Seriously it was one screw up after another. Almost as comical as the Russian fleet in WW1 that turned into a zoo, that came "under attack" from torpedoes from numerous fisherman....

  • @luisemoralesfalcon4716
    @luisemoralesfalcon4716 3 дні тому +3

    The guy who enlisted after exiting the bar.

  • @Snarlacc
    @Snarlacc 3 дні тому

    Always surprised how accurately you portray weapons and armour of the time. Could be just generic, but they are alway modeled after reality. Plus always informative. Superbly done!

  • @Lemmiwinks_The_Gerbil_King
    @Lemmiwinks_The_Gerbil_King 14 годин тому +1

    9:30 average german win
    11:15 smartest Muhammed

  • @geoffreylee5199
    @geoffreylee5199 День тому +1

    There are idiots in the US armed forces from WWII, who were WestPoint or Annapolis guys, who showed cowardice and never punished because their brothers protected them. In North Africa there where generals who stayed away from battles, on D-Day there where captains who dropped amphibious tanks ten miles from shore instead of inside three miles; being the reason why many sank at Normandy. These guys in this clip were idiots, those others were criminals.

  • @emmaccode
    @emmaccode День тому

    I am thankful for you, SimpleHistory. Never would've learned that first one if you hadn't told me.

  • @casualobserver5183
    @casualobserver5183 День тому

    Dude, you did Varus dirty 😂. Varus was a reasonable competent administrator and general. The terrible reality is that there were many commanders it could have happened to.

  • @rbrice4128
    @rbrice4128 3 дні тому +2

    I love this! Thank You!

  • @ReaperTheDragon
    @ReaperTheDragon 2 дні тому +1

    at 09:26 you can see the face of Quinctilius's horse glitch out/swap model for a split second~

  • @MikeStar2000
    @MikeStar2000 14 годин тому

    I love how Dawson was drooling all the time 😂

  • @eddthehead123
    @eddthehead123 2 дні тому

    There is actually a story of a guy who blew up a torpedo with his rifle. It's a million to one chance, but not completely impossible.

  • @JaxPomni-14
    @JaxPomni-14 День тому +1

    0:26 HIS JAWLINE

  • @GuyIncognito-111
    @GuyIncognito-111 День тому

    Lopez: “If you can’t beat em, move on and try to beat someone else while you are also trying to beat the first guy. Throw a third in there, too.”

  • @otacon444
    @otacon444 День тому

    I’m going to give the torpedo man on the Porter a pass. This whole thing was caused by the captain of the ship. This was beyond dumb. The entire ship’s history is a calamity of errors.