He Asks: “How Many Men Have You Slept With?” Here’s What You Say…
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- Опубліковано 26 вер 2014
- Confused about what to text him? Just copy and paste any of these 9 texts - bit.ly/1EpQNbm
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It's almost inevitable you're going to get asked...
When you do, how do you answer?
Do you need to talk about it or can the topic be avoided?
In this week's video I share my philosophy on the question, and how you can answer in a high-value way.
Video links at the end:
Make Him Talk Dirty To You: • Make Him Talk Dirty To...
Sensational, Sexy, and Violent Media: • Sensational, Sexy, and...
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How many people have you slept with?
A: All of them
+computerbiscuit This is hilarious! Thank you for making me laugh :)
:)
+computerbiscuit hahahahhaah :D
I couldn't resist to create a meme ;D
cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/68721288.jpg
looooooooool
"As many as it took me to get to you." is my response.
😷😷😷
CHEESY MMM
Melissa Sims - A good response.
Love it
Melissa Sims your choice but that rings all kind of red flags. It’s a good response if you’re on a short relation but if you’re dating for like 2 years and the guy asks it, that probably nagging in the back of his mind. Such a dismissive response will show disrespect for his feelings. Personally I would either not ask or only do it if it was something so over bearing in my mind that I couldn’t move on without knowing so I could make an informed choice.
I never kept count but I would say with a perfectly straight face, "300."
And as he curled up in a ball and wept, I'd try to comfort him with, "But 294 were on the same day. I was trying to beat the world record. I thought you liked ambitious women."
+Kayci Morgan I hope you don't mind if I steal this line :P
I'd just chuckle, take a long ass shower and head straight to Planned Pregnancy for an STD test lol.
Congratulations. You beat the world record.
Planned Pregnancy...
lolz
THE BEST ANSWER: You really want me to think about the other guys I've slept with right now?
Very good answer...!!
Yes cause i wanna decide if you are booty call or marriage material....if you are in double digits(which you almost certainly are) you are just a potential booty call.....if you are some kind of unicorn and slept with single digit number guys.....maybe we have a future....
@@Dreamdancer11 exactly and dont forget it. Also, its futile to ask so dont even bother. She will lie either way. Just play catch up in your 30s and 40s and let her come up with the decison. But dont tell her that either. Remember: Women are the gatekeepers to sex but men are the gatekeepers to marriage. As you were soldier.
Mgtow
We already know Rose. It's a high number. Higher then us. But that's because you peak at 20 and we peak at 35
@@anonymousanonymous3354 I think they may be bitter..It's sad really.
"How many men have you slept with?" "More than you." The End.
@Barrier Boy
Exactly! Go ahead, get lippy after he’s already gotten some...
i was gay
dont be too sure
Cocky much?
LMFAO!!
@@lmmm1459 The question of a sexual partner count is already quite cocky, so don't put it out if you can't handle being replied to in the same manner.
Omg this man could tell me the sky is pink and pigs fly and I would believe him.
Karen Yeomans my lord that is so true lol
Karen Yeomans same😂
This comment made my day 😂 thank You 🙏🏻
@@deliiri0us actually, he does. Hence why youre trying to hide it. I would dump you on the spot.
@@deliiri0us good evening hey girl hey I read your comment, and a lot of people might agree with it, but just for the record I had a close friend of our family that I wish would have been more insecure and concern about her partner past sex life if she was she probably be still with us today, STDs don't discriminate against genders, nor age,they won't wash away with soap and water,and they can have a devastating effect on a person's future, so are we sure that a person's pass sex life don't matter at all.
My answer would be "Look here my love, you know I love math. So, I will give you the correct answer in mathematical terms. It's probably not the answer you expect, but it is the correct answer. Here it is - I wasn't a virgen when I met you, and I have slept with you, so the answer is greater than or equal to 2."
I like the answer
BEST
yzuniga13sa def will use this answer!
Or simply X + 1
X being the number of guys before the current guy and 1 being the current guy
@@jacqueline8742 Very well then, let us expand the equation fully:
X = 9 9 + 1 = 10
X = 90 90 + 1 = 91
X = 900 900 + 1 = 901
See the problem with applying theory to practical mathematics?
Hmmmmm I'm not sure how many dudes would be ok with the woman avoiding the question like that. I tend to believe that the guy would be more inclined to think man, she must have been around the block enough times that she's not answering my question. Why not just be honest? If the dude is bothered by it, that's his problem.
There is no right answer though, so why ask it at all?
I agree, it depends on the age range we are talking here. Mature people in their 40s and above don't tend to ask this question because by then they are typically savvy enough to know that its irrelevant and what is important is the connection you currently share. The men who ask this question are younger, insecure and judgmental type. And women should know that whatever the number, it doesn't matter, you will be judged if it is greater than 0. And even if it's 0, they won't believe you if you're above a certain age. I think the best retort should be to the ask in a loving/friendly way "Why would you do with that information?" Or "What number will you be comfortable with?" And if he harps on about it still, and you're not a virgin, best just dump him. Getting involved with a man that only see's your value in the number of men you have slept with in the past is just a recipe for disaster. Let him go find his virgin.
Janet Gabriel
Janet Gabriel gotta try "What number will you be comfortable with?" next time. You wrote things so well.... I think in todays world its unrealistic to find people over 30 who would not have a history. I normally been asking if he thinks i am virgin? Why would a man even wanna have unexperienced virgin??? Lol
Silver Woman Exactly! If a guy's slept with like 2 girls, he's pretty much guaranteed to be a shitty lay. Do not want!
what happened to honesty is the best policy? I won't be comfortable to be with someone who dodges that question.
Telling someone you honestly find the question insulting is honesty. That's not dodging the question that's answering it in the way that fits the situation the best and that will best benefit the relationship.
Do you have to be insulting? Get some help.
Basically Tinder and social media.
@@midniteillusion3 No it's not, answering the question honestly is honesty. I would NEVER commit to a woman and marry her if she wasn't even able to answer such an important question.
@@midniteillusion3 It's really funny that you think that answer fits the situation - if you where a woman and answered that to me i would call an Uber and never look back... So much to "benefit the relationship".
"We ask the questions we don't want to know the answers to." And they say women are illogical. Men can be illogical sometimes too.
y? men want to hear, what women has to say, what specifically they would say.
both know what it is and how it was.
Yeah that's really logical...
Star Melter Huh?
Some people value the pain of truth over the comfort of ignorance or a lie.
@@EstrellaViajeViajero if I may ask, when a guy ask that question, what place is the question coming from? Judgement? Care? Where?
All the people who have slept with a lot of people think that it is a stupid question to ask a potential partner because they have SUCH PAST and they are biased.
People who have slept below 5 or even 10 people in their lives don't think it is a stupid question because they have SUCH PAST and they are biased.
I've slept with less than 5 people and I find it a very unattractive question. I wouldn't ask it and I wouldn't want to be asked it. If the guy wouldn't be persuaded away from it and continued to harp on it I would think he might have some hang ups on sex in general and some insecurities.
+midniteillusion3
But is it always insecurities tho?
I slept with 2. And its still a stupid queation
@@winchesterwestfield6733 it will depend on if she tells on herself or you find out from other men
It's totally okay to find the question stupid or unnattractive,
what would not be okay would be lying about it.
Also people are not forced to be together,if you do not like the question you can leave,
if the person doesnt like the reaction or the answer then that person can also go search for someone else that fits their requirement/desires.
And as to Mac Tran,excuse my language but read twice before going on an adventure lol.
He used the term *People with such past* for BOTH those who slept with more than 5-10 and those who slept with less than that and his comment isn't marked as modified.
Answer to what people wrote,not what you THINK you see.
Because its meaningless to YOU doesnt make it meaningless to OTHERS.
Also,the goal is not to have an answer that will satisfy ANYBODY,the goal is to know wether it satisfies that ONE person asking it to you,
you know,the person that would probably want to be and feel special to you.
I don't know why people push it onto the person asking as if they are the one with a problem of 'insecurity' or 'judgmental'. This is pure nonsense. There are plenty of good reasons to ask:
1) STD risk
2) Knowing a person's history tells you very much about them
3) Knowing their history allows an opportunity to help avoid past mistakes or unhealthy patterns
4) Who want's to run into a person as a couple, and not know that their partner has had sex with them before. That is just plain wrong.
If you don't want to answer, that is OK too, but answering this question honestly (and yes, being able to accept the answer is an important part of asking) is a big part of building trust as a couple in my opinion. This is one thing that I don't think should be a secret.
1) Ask if they would agree to do std test before you end up having sex.
2) It is a number, you add the meaning to that. It has nothing to do with who they are now, nor it can define the relationship they want with you. There is better questions to ask to know what you want to know, dont be sneaky to try to find out.
3) What lessons your past relationship gifted you ?
4) Are you still in contact to a person you were in relationship before ?
There is many way to build trust, it would be sad to create distancing by wanting to build trust with inappropriate questions.
@@Sarachouska "It has nothing to do with who they are now"
Almost for sure not true.
People generally change little and very slowly. Someone who's had sex with 100 people is MUCH more likely to have sex with more than someone who's had sex with 3. There's a principle in behaviorism: the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. Not words, not thoughts, not hopes, plans, wishes, or ambitions.
I have multiple friends who have been trying to stop or start habits for decades now, and are not improving almost at all. But if you ask them, they'll stop/start it next Monday! They've been deluding themselves for decades! Wishful thinking is a mighty defence mechanism!
You're kinda fighting against the law of identity here. A thing is what it is. A is A.
A promiscuous (wo)man is a promiscuous woman. A video game addict is a video game addict. People almost don't change. Face reality and stop fighting the law of identity.
The question is valid and valuable. You might be able to see if the woman is going to defraud you (fake reality) to gain what she perceives as higher value.
I was flat mate with a men who had slept with about 100 woman. He was nice and really respectful with me. As far as i know he was honest with the woman he was having sex with. And he is now married since 5 years.
To me it's more about what you are looking for and what the other is able to give.
@@Sarachouska I agree. I know a guy who used to pay call girls, and had numerous lovers, I could swear, over double digits, but then he met his wife. And he was smitten completely and utterly. Totally in love with her. They seem like the happiest couple, and as far as I know, he's not a cheater and they're currently trying to have a child. He's very nice and respectful toward other women too.
I’m so confused about #4. You want the person you’re dating to show you a picture, tell you the name, and the place of employment/hangout of every person they’ve slept with? You want all that knowledge in your head in case you ever run into these people? That just sounds like a whole lot of drama for no reason. You’re going to go into every new place scanning faces! smh
My awful ex dated what he termed an 'ugly young 21 year old' as he bragged that she would be easy to manipulate and naive with men. Turns out she had slept with over 100 men had a drug habit and gave him gonorrhea. He dumped her. Both of them had issues - if you run out of fingers and toes you probably shouldn't be sleeping with the guy asking you this in the first place as he probably will end up another number - go sort your mental health out first. And it works both ways in my opinion.
I'd say "Well, enough to let me know how it goes but not enough to make me want no more" :DDD
thought the same :D
I don't do the double standard, i keep a low partner count so i'm genuinely curious if my partner does too. Anyone can sleep with tons of people, there's something special about someone who reserves for a select few.
ahmunmun725 yes 0 is best
ahmunmun725 remember men aren’t women, 0 is creepy to women if the guys above say 24, 0 is perfectly fine even best for men
@@BuryMeInBabylon I think 0 in a guy is hot. I would take a 0 any day over a guy with lots of experience. Being a virgin doesn't make you any less of a man. One thing is being a virgin because you don't have an option, another is because you have self control and self respect. Two different situations. Being able to say NO is hot. Having standards is hot, both male and female
Elizabeth Chaidez how old are you
ahmunmun725 how old are you
He's like the Dark Souls boss equivalent of a White knight
Dear
Facts... he legit just has word salad and makes bread off of women knowing that he’s just feeding them bullshit
Indeed, "uhhh who dare you not to accept a woman's undesirable behavior, you re such a misogynist and an insecure bla bla bla you should just be nice or else you wont get my validation (that means shit anyways)" ironically only a nice guy would accept such undesirable traits, and we already know what women think of nice guys.
Facts 💯
I think guys that ask this question are usually really insecure. They are just scared that she could be more experienced than him.
which is stupid if that is the case; what's so wrong with a woman being more experienced than a man? Ugh..culture these days.
Not always, it can be how the guy wants to view you. Sometimes if he sees you are not a promiscuous girl it can cause many guys to already see you as potential wife material if you got other traits that are already desirable (like a great personality). It might be his way if he wants to invest his emotions in you and perhaps even if he thinks he could satisfy you sexually to some degree. No one wants to be with a promiscuous woman at all unless you are probs a promiscuous man.
No I think guys who ask a question don't wanna be another "dead man walking" in her man eater quest lolll
SWIFTzTrigger exactly 100% right
One ex of mine was upset that I'd slept with more people than him because it made him feel less masculine. So yeah. Insecure +++!
The ironic thing is some people feel like asking this question is a set up for harsh judgment and then say things like " I only think someone who's insecure asks a questions like this" Pot calling the kettle black much? I mean just because you disagree with this question shaming those who ask it solves what? I don't mind someone asking me about my sexual habits before meeting them. If you're dating someone or looking for someone to eventually marry their history is IMPORTANT. Including their sexual history, childhood, diseases they may have or have had, diseases that run in their family, and etc. The history of someone's sexual past can reveal a lot of important & relevant information to you. If someone has too much baggage I think it's best to be realistic and admit not EVERYONE can handle it. In those cases MOVE ON but don't shame someone because they're being honest and admitting I don't think I can handle it.
mia s Great answer.
so if it happened that u have found the love of your life, but u found out that he had slept with lots of girls between relationships, but he is not cheating on u or never cheated before, will that stop u to see him as a future partner?
mia s naaa I just want to know that he’s healthy has he checked himself did he use protection.. I mean like is he a sex addict that’s important but how many unless he’s been with like 20-30 and up why? But ppl change hopefully for the better.. can he commit / can he be monogamous is he looking for marriage I mean has he cheated to me that’s so much more important everyone has their opinion and what they value or is important to them.. to me this is a silly question that I personally don’t care to know about.. is he respectful / does he has moral has he changed for a better man did he learned from his mistakes cuz at the end of the day no one is perfect and no one is without sin..
Best answer on the thread.
thats why I ask the parter: what do you do with this information. why is he asking? is this a kind of " gootcha " question? What does he want to know=? the number is not giving the information he wants to acuire.
honestly when he said he stopped counting at 2, I was like "uh wait what does that mean?". I guess that's the Public Health professional in me screaming "NO!!! know and remember your partners".
I was thinking the same thing. I know my number, because I didn't have sex with strangers. I knew them at least for a little while first.
you don´t have the number back in you head at every given moment. the first one is " somehow relevant" beause that is a 0 or a 1, and the second is the new one, ...but after that....you don´t count...because the number means nothing. you know the persons, but you don´t have a numerb.
what professional and what cases asks that question??
GEt tested before you sleep with him and vice versa , then the point is mute. Unless you believe the crazy stuff about sperm from all those men traveling around your body and even going behind you eyes ??!! Seriously , heard that!
The most valuable idea in this piece is the absurdity of how many patterns one has had. Thank you, sir!
Good advise. Quite ashamed at how hard I laughed at the singing blooper though- that was rather random! x
Brilliant!! it much sexier to leave it as a mystery & being thankful to the women who have taught him well!
- no itches on anyone's...anything x
If somebody asks, you tell them the truth. If he/she don't like the anwer, then they aren't meant for you. Don't lie or avoid it since it will just puts the relationship in a bad start. If you are sleeping with 100 people, you better answer 100 people. Stand for what you do.
I'm Cute I agree
Agreed
Umm... That's going to scare everyone away... Not a good idea for the people who have slept with a lot of people.
@@vhayashi7369 You made your bed, now sleep in it.
@@vhayashi7369 Then why do u do it if u can't deal with the consequences?
I almost died at the end, loved the song!!! :D
People, if you don't trust each other enough to just say the number and accept the truth and move on, you should probably stop dating that person anyway.
Are you a guy? So if you were a guy asking the question, besides wanting to know, why would you want to know? Is it coming from a place of judgement or love, or something else?
@jimmyjones05 I'm not for or against asking, I just wanted to know if a guy is asking because he really likes you or he's asking so he can justify putting you in the "funny category".
@jimmyjones05 Having sex with someone is not the same as a drug problem.
@jimmyjones05 What I won't do is get into a conversation with some pompous ass that tells me I don't know what the word analogy means.
@jimmyjones05 It was clearly a bad analogy, which I was pointing out so for you to say I just didn't know what an analogy was, was pompous. Just because I disagree with you doesn't make me stupid. But you are clearly a pompous ass.
Hahaha Matthew I never taken you for a comedian but that song was hilarious lol! That fly is soo into you haha!
I do not only learn when I watch Matthew's videos I am having fun too at the same time its so much fun!!
Your song to that fly is probably my favourite thing I've heard from you
I think honesty is always the best response. If people are triggered by the answer, then work through it. That's what a healthy relationship is about... getting to know the person and loving them for who they are now and what it took to get them there.
The truth and the lie will both hurt…..but here is the difference
Telling a lie is standing on sinking sand…..
Telling the truth a foundation to move forward
merely sweeping something under the rug will only cause pain …instead of dealing with it
#ManWaitingForMarriage
#ManWaitingForMarriage too
You're an idiot. Marriage is slavery. For men.
Advice: if she wants married give her a ceremony. But dont sign any legal documents. Keep the state out of your life.
YOURE WELCOME
That's all fine and well until your so called wife and children are left homeless.
Will you please make that song a ring tone that we can purchase??? That song was hilarious on its own, but the emotion you sang it with made it PRICELESS!!!
The outtakes are hilarious!!! Thanks, Matthew
its a simple question, and why is it always the ones who slept around who want to avoid it? so you had a lot of fun so what? just say you did and lets move on. same with have you ever cheated. mystery is bad.
THANK YOU! People are so hung up on this archaic view of people who've had a lot of sexual partners and how they shouldn't be taken seriously. Who cares how many people they've slept with? It really doesn't matter in the long run.
@@YolandaGirl I think you misunderstood his comment.
@@YolandaGirl it absolutely matters
@@genesisalexandria7506 I didn't though?
@@tthompson7609 it really doesn't.
3:37 "I don't wanna think about any other man. C'mon, let's just go and have sex."
Haha, so THAT'S the goal. Insightful video. Thanks!
Sorry (not) to break your bubble, but this isn't gonna work if you'll be looking for something serious.
@@thetimewasrightthen7846 Lol
So happy you have done this video I've always wondered how to answer that question I don't think any number will make the man happy so this is a brillant way of dealing with it 👍
What a wonderful video, full of useful information. In fact there is a double standard indeed! And thanks for these answers!🌷
Honesty is the best policy. Be straightforward and say how many men you've slept with. Be accountable for your actions
Honesty is good, but so is trust. Once you start asking these kind of questions to your partner it pretty much shows that you don't trust them completely. That you have some doubts. I no longer ask the question or answer the question if a woman asks me. The past is the past...let's focus on the present
@@3500camarz How so? If whatyou people say is true that a high laycount for women is not a bad thing. Surely then asking about a thing that is not bad, shouldn't be a sign of mistrust? Or maybe deep down you know that a high laycount lowers your value as a long term partner.
@@dtosmanm4743 Read the Rational Male. A man never reveals his bodycount to a woman as he gives away his power. Always say less than necessary and cultivate an air of mystery.
Why do you HAVE to be accountable for something that happened before you met?
@@linda8485 One should be accountable for everything they've done, that's the point
Appropriate answers I've come up with off the cuff:
"83... I slept in a gym with 83 people for a school lock in once."
"...Oh, I'm not ignoring you. I'm just trying to think of which ones I actually slept with - versus, ya know, kicked out."
"Four... divide by eight point two... carry the one... to the twelfth power...Hey - when's this assignment due?"
And for the doozie:
"How many 'men'? Darling, if anyone I slept with yet was a real man, I wouldn't have had to come find you."
And what's my success rate?
Ugh... what an ugly, boring question.
MissAshleyPants haha love it!!
Corny. Not funny at all
Kai Black what prophetic imput. Well done.
Sam Keyworth Do you really expect someone to not have sleep with somebody at all in this day and age ? Get off your high horse. Who are you to legislate what others do with their nether regions ?
All hail to Medusa Hello Medusa. I’m 30, virgin. And I am proud of it. Let me give back the question to you: who are you to legislate that people should expect that all individuals in this day and age have already slept with someone?
Brain is located in the uppermost part of a human body because it shoud be the one to oversee and in control, and not the nether regions youve mentioned.
‘Get off your hight horse’
- if you keep on leveling your bar down, you will tend to settle for less than what you deserve.
😊
Oh my gosh!!! You crack me up!!! I love your videos they are so helpful and comical at the same time..
Love the last "bye", sounded so sad haha
ive been through many stages in my life thus far, im 21 right now. If a lady i was interested in gave me the reply of That doesnt matter or thats irrelevant, i immediately think she's going to lie to me numerous times during the relationship and i want nothing to do with her. The first thing i want in any relationship, friend or lover, is HONESTY! That is worth more than one million dollars in my head, ok maybe not a million but you get the point. if you are just starting a foundation for any relationship, Tell eachother what you want and what you expect to get out of the time you put in, dont just wait til a year passes to tell the other that you're not happy. because if you both part ways you essentially wasted a year of your life that you could have been pursuing a great guy or girl who shares similar goals. Also If you dont feel great in the relationship things will only amplify the more time you spend with them or the more you learn about them. not everybody is worth investing time or money in.
barnabyray I agree but why ask a question like that, does it really matter if you guys are great for each other.... I just don’t see the point... ppl make mistakes they go threw phases we live and learn...
mark navarro what ever happen before that relationship has nothing to do with you, or the relationship no one is perfect.. I figure as long as your healthy everything should be fine, the only time I would answer that is if we are getting married.. but not to start a relationship I wouldn’t answer it cuz your not in a relationship it’s nobodies business.. does it really matter if you been with 2 or 5 ppl ? If the person you are seeing is he / she worth more bcuz your a virgin? I don’t believe so not to me..
mark navarro I get what your saying but in all honesty I’m sorry it shouldn’t matter my answer would be I’ve been with several that’s it.. I’m not with them why does it matter the only reason why he really want to know it comes across as he wants to be holy.. like we are all imperfect no one is without sin.. like my future husband I don’t want to know how many in my mind all that matters is he’s with me as long as he’s healthy.. what I would personally ask is how he treated his previous girlfriend? Did he have a bad temper that sort of stuff.. I don’t want to know the poses he’s been or how many times.. to me that’s immaturity..
mark navarro no bcuz that kinda behavior can affect you / it’s probably a example of how you will also be treated and that can really affect you.. so if you see both as being the same.. thank goodness I’m not dating you.. one really will affect the relationship the other won’t.. other than if he’s had several partners well maybe he’s good in bed.. cuz if he doesn’t have any experience in bed more than likely he won’t know what to do either which to me it’s not a deal breaker but I did ha e that experience once and it sucked.. what do you do.. but that’s my opinion to each their own.. u obviously need a virgin you go.. me personally I don’t care to have a virgin as a matter of fact I’m all honestly I prefer he wasn’t but if he’s kind to me / has morals values me and we are attracted to each other that’s what matter.. to me that’s a very immature question it’s a turn off for me.. and it comes across as being insecure but that’s my opinion..
mark navarro it shouldn’t and to me it is immature to ask such a question why does it matter? If she has been with less men she has more respect? That’s ridiculous that to me is a very insecure person I’m not saying go out have 100 guys jeezes I know I would die. But in all truth no one needs to know my sexuality so let’s resolve this your not gonna date me I’m not gonna date you we are good.. Matt is 100% right.. to me someone ask me something so stupid I say grow up... did u see the video? That’s coming from a male perspective.. go after your virgin who cares cuz I don’t jeezes why continue such a lame topic..
Matt: Me and Jameson are dating.....OMG i literally had to pause the video to breath I KNEW IT!!!
LOL i thought so too until i found out he had a girlfriend
Lol I know. I think the first commenter was trying to make a joke
Its a joke you gals need to chill out. And obviously cos Jameson isn't even real wtf
That awkward moment when Jameson is real lol
Oh my fucking GOD! its a joke :L
Love this video. This is what I would say. Thanks for sharing. Girls we matter now and our past doesn't define us xx
finally i found my favourite english learning materials here, love you Matt!
Answer: I have no stds and no children. That's all you need to know.
🙄🙄 when men ask you this question they aren’t even that into you anyway.
BruiseLeeRoy well it’s not my fault I’ve been fucked over. If I put out and then things don’t work out well that’s out of my control for the body counts .
Of course, I am always faithful in all of my relationships. The thing I am upset about is relying on travel and relocation to have the right guy. My province has a bad picking for men. I am gonna have to move out of the country for different opportunities despite living in Canada. Western Canada’s dating scene is a shit show.
Why is this such a big deal? If a man doesnt wants to be with you because of those reasons he is not obliged to do so.
Exactly, because these women want to have their cake and eat it too. They want the luxury of sleeping around and sportfucking their way into their 30s and 40s, but also demand a traditional man who would "accept her" for who she is. In reality, men with self-respect don't get with these women. And studies have pointed out that promiscuity brings many negative consequences.
Excellent way of dealing with this delicate question. To me it’s as bad as talking about your exes on the 1st date.
The fly's a fan :'D
On a more serious note, I am glad I am not the only one who does not like answering, nor asking this question. :)
I would answer...."enough, to know what i want"..😉
Lol nice!
Lol
If you're actually in a relationship and feel like there is something you cannot honestly tell your partner than you have a problem. If you're not in a serious relationship than its none of his business and tell him so. Avoiding the question is just saying there is a problem.
This whole deal about how many sexual partners a person had is a legit concern. The more people you've been with the less likely you are to be committed. It is not slut shaming to look at a 24 year old and find out they've slept with 20 people and to think that's a red flag and it doesn't matter if its a guy or a girl! Its about finding someone you can be with forever, not just be #21.
Probably the biggest douche bag answer I’ve ever seen
Very well said and spot on correct. However, to judge a person's body count as an indicator of their loyalty is also a problem. I married my beautiful wife at 20 years of age. She had slept with 2 guys, I had slept with 28 women. Thank God she didn't run for the hills. We are both 55 now, 2 grown sons and a grandson. Our life hasn't been perfect, but it's been wonderful ❤
I don’t think it should matter as long as both of you go to the clinic and get checked out.
The "itch on my crotch" comment made me literally laugh out loud😂 haha, greatness.
I just tell the truth 🤷🏽♀️
Me too 🙄
Me too. I feel like a long indirect answer sounds more defensive. I like to be honest about my sexual history and I’d want him to be honest about his too.
Not important
Rare^ this is what real men want. Betas will let the woman dismiss the question with some avoidant shit.
@@PoopilussMcDoopiluss A real man won't be concerned about her past. A beta will be butt hurt about it and try to pry it out of her. My bodycount is not low and as a result I never ask a woman what hers is. That and it's always worked against me when you ask a woman this question and it shows your judging her. I also no longer answer the question if a woman asks me because the past is the past
For me, as a guy, it's not the actual number of people they've been with. It's how important sex and bonding with the other person is. If I feel like sex is just something she gets to use me for and commit no emotional attachment to me THAT's what isn't okay.
I liked the, “I stopped counting after two,” response 😹🤣
I just want to comment on the song that you sang at the end. What beautiful lyrics! I've never been so touched by such beautiful music.
Try telling that to a bank, the past is the past. Brilliant.
So if you asked the question? What place is the question coming from? Love? Judgement? Why would you want to know?
@@blushing.lilies its just trying to know a person, who she he really is, can you trust him her...woudlnt you want to know as well?
@@blushing.lilies I mean wouldnt you want to know if a man you are dating did jail time(= his history)?
@@oreocarlton3343 Sure, and I'm not arguing for against it. I've ALWAYS wondered where the question is coming from when a guy ask the question so I thought I'd just ask a few gentlemen to get a broader perspective.
@@blushing.lilies there are no special hidden motives, when you know someone you get to know their history as well and sexual history is ones history as well
True story..I'm older (50's) and dated a guy about 20(38 yr old) yrs younger..all good. =D He asked the question with an explanation..his last GF confessed she slept with 200+ guys and she is in her late 30's. He did not use protection with her. I demanded a STD test PRIOR to him asking this question & having sex with him. What rolled around in my thoughts when he asked it...was...since HIV can be dormant up to ten yrs...what have I exposed myself to?! We were together for about 2 yrs then ironically he went back to her...then left her again. He knows from my history that I have had long term relationships. He has since tried to re connect but I have politely declined. There is definitely more to the story than just this. Done with the toxicity of all that.
firewoman5
Couldn't agree more to this. Sometimes I ask because of health related concerns, not because I want to be rude or emotional about it.
@@AK-fx7rh absolutely!!! It's your body and your health. ❤ if someone resists or gets upset with the question then you know there will be other issues. It is a good boundary
You can sleep around and play safe (use condoms)
And this is why partners should not talk about their sexual past or ex relationships. It sounds like you never caught an std from him and had you not known about his past you and him would still be okay with each other. The past is the past. As long as there is no stds or HIV involved then who TF cares
@@3500camarz my body will always be my responsibility...mentally, emotionally or physically. HIV can take up to 10 yrs to reveal itself. The relationship had nothing to do with this issue...if fact, he was the one that told me this information. It was not me that pried it out of him. He point blank asked me how many partners I had had after we had been together for a year. Honestly, I hadn't thought about it and thought he was " the one " until he went back to his old bf. End of story. I moved on.
In spiritual & shamanism, if the female has penetrative sex, she holds the males energy in her energetic field. Plz Google this. Will explain it better than what I can. Basically, the female becomes connected energetically to every male (good, bad or indifferent). There are ceremonies that release those cords so there is no attachment and the female is her own sovereign being and only carries current partners energy.
your little song at the end made me burst out laughing. thank you :)
yes!!! love line said it best "more mystery, less history"
personally i would never ask a girl this question, but i think the underlying reason behind the question is for a guy to predict his "chances" of actually staying with said girl. For instance, if a girl has been with X amount of guys, for the purpose of this example, lets say shes 22-23 and has had 12 or so boyfriends, theres a good chance your just going to be number 13..lol at least this is my logic.
If they've had a lot of partners, then either they are attracted to low-quality people and won't appreciate my worth, or they are a low-quality person that can't keep a high-quality suitor.
I would just say "a lot less then you, trust me" in a humors laughing tone. there really isn't a good answer to this just a good reaction.
So less than 0?
Cannot agree more👍🏻
I've have never had a guy ask me this question. The crotch comment at the end is...hilarious!!!
I love your videos. Thanks so much for putting these together. I know I've said this before, but you are adorable! :)
Even as a guy, I enjoy listening to Matthew’s advice. That said, I totally disagree with him on this one, at least for people in committed relationships.
In a serious relationship, you both deserve to know about the other’s sexual past. It’s more of a red flag to me if you avoid the question vs answer truthfully.
100% agreed
What if the sexual past involved trauma? Why is someone else entitled to knowing that? Also the number doesn’t explain the context, people judge you purely based on the number you give and don’t bother to understand why you were asexual or promiscuous throughout your life. I think ask them why they wanna know? It’s usually their ego pushing the question.
@@ashleighhindson4590
1) As someone who was in a long-term, serious relationship with a woman who had unresolved sexual trauma, it is imperative that you know that going into the relationship (whether you’re a man or woman, hetero or gay, etc.). I lived the negative consequences of unresolved sexual trauma in a partner. People in that situation need professional help, and I say that with kindness, not judgment.
2) Context doesn’t diminish the importance of the number. Several studies indicate that both women and men start to lose the ability to pair-bond with a partner after a threshold of sexual partners. For women, the number seems to be around 4-7. For men, 12-15. Past a certain point, regardless of context, one begins to become concerned about a person’s ability to pair-bond with you. Inability to pair-bond is a major indicator of longterm relationship success or failure.
3) Ego has nothing to do with this. It’s about ensuring you are setting yourself up, and the other person too, for success in a potential relationship that often has lifelong consequences. The world would be a better place if people were more measured in making these decisions.
Sleeping with a ton of people increases the chance the guy (or girl) may have an std. I would ask mainly for that reason. But also because if you really want to know someone, then knowing about their past is part of that.
You can sleep around protected. Also, you can have taken a test before starting that new relationship. CONDOMS exist and yet I agree that few people use them. I've always used them. Had a lot of partners but no STD. Not even once
But then just ask about std's. It only takes one partner to get one so no point trying to calculate if they've got one mathematically
Ahaha, Matt Hussey I love you. Loved the ending with you and the fly. You make me laugh everytime...welll most videos;)
Love the little ditty at the end 😂😂
“Wait, I have to check my list. Do you want to know the number of the guys or should I include the women, too? 2, 4, 6, 8... 26! The answer is 26!”
trust and communication, if you dont have these, you got nothing,....nothing that will end up any better than the last relationship you had that fell apart. manipulating the guy away from this question will not work, and you really shouldnt try. If he cannot accept you and see the past as the past, be in the present. then thats a problem he needs to work through with or without you, you dont have to be blunt, or get emotional or weird about his insecurity. you should be expectant of it. but you can be kind, but not reactive to him if he gets upset. he might, but if hes the guy for you. a guy who can be in a relationship with another person in an intimate and long term way...then he will get over it....if not, well hope he figures all that out, not your problem
Mathew I like ur channel its really helpful... very practical... n I just love the way u r.... I like ur hairstyle, ur nose n ur watch☺
Any number will put u down in guys eyes don’t let it happen keep your head up! Well done 👍🏻 Thanks u for your lessons🌹🥰
I just don't agree. As a female, I think I need to know my partners past and for him to know mine. Not because of curiosity, but because it matters. If my partner is prone to have meaningless sex, how do I know he'll commit? How do I know that he hadn't contracted an STD? How do I know he'll be satisfied with me? If his count is really high, I simply wouldn't feel comfortable being with him.
Houda Bissoular GOOD !!!!!
Exactly!
This is true especially when you don't have meaningless sex or sleep around. I would ask the same question after answering :) if they don't like it, why ask me then?
Houda Bissoular so basically from that your judging someone on their past, which shows your insecure.. which then in turn is a unattractive quality you posses. If you care enough about the person a number shouldn’t matter wether it’s a high number or a low number. You should trust enough that you wanna be with him and him you and that he cares about you as much as you do to him, and if there’s any doubt you already shouldn’t be with that person, asking a personal question you then have no real right to ask to determine if you should be with him is crazy and probably shows why you have been single and many others who have this same terminology
jimmyjones05 your logic is weird as my reply was to the comment saying, “they need to know there past because if In the past they’ve had meaningless sex and may not be loyal etc..” and you can’t judge someone on that past as that’s not your place to judge and that means you can never make a mistake in your life which is naive to think this way as everyone is human and we all make plenty. Your argument to me is stupid as your using extreme cases to try and make your point right 😂
I think guys who would ask such a question because they want to have a relationship with you because they like you a lot and they want to know how you valued yourself in the past !? and if you worth their time they want to have a relationship with you !?
Most guys that ask that are quite trashy guys themselfs decent guy don't ask.
no only insecure men ask. having sex with people doesn't mean you value yourself any less. stop being creepy people
@@Bbelblelo Only trashy and insecure people have problems with answering this question. Stop being creepy by telling others how to think. Especially that you have homework to do in that department.
riiiiiiight
People can change. You can have not "valued " yourself (terrible term) because you were in a very harsh moment of your life. Just like junkies can become clean, people you used to fix their issues with sex should be allowed to have a clean new start.
LMAO the ending was everything 😂👍
Wow... this helped me a lot , such great advice
well ok. heres the double standard you are talking about.
"women who sleep with alot of guys are sluts" and "men who sleep with alot of women are studs"
kinda true but lets dig deeper.
the thing about sex is that you are unconciously being judged and judging at the same time. "a women who slept with alot of guys" and a "guy who slept with few girls"
are being judged negatively by their own actions or in the case of guys in this case lack of action.
this is being due to women wanting experianced men, and men wanting inexperanced women.
not only that there is the part about Pair-Bonding if she has been with loads of men there is a high risk she wont bond with you on a deep level,
which in turn leads to cheating, lost feelings etc.
not to mention that women are the ones that put this on men by the reasoning that "if he dont f*ck me good, its not gonna work out" "if he dont make me c*m like my ex did i dont want him"
so ofc men want someone more inexperianced than them. you can piss and moan all you want about it but at the end of the day you know it to be true.
"Its an unattractive question that dont need to be answered"
well maybe to some yes and thats fine, but to others it might not be and thats fine to.
but the thing is, based on how many you`ve slept with shows your morals and mistakes and also how likely you are to make it again.
if im looking for a relationship im not gonna look for someone who has been run trough by a whole football team,
because the Pair-Bonding ability is long gone, and that is not good for long lasting relationships.
I dont wanna be judged by a girl whose been f*cked better by 20 other guys than me, or that her other 10 boyfriends had a bigger dick than me.
which will happen subconsciously btw thats how humans are always comparing to better things.
so when/if i ask "how many have you slept with?"
i want and expect an honest answer cuz i will do the same. and if that question isnt answered i know that its high enough for the pair-bonding to be gone.
and i wont be interested either way. how many thats being tolerated, that is up to the individual to decide some dont care and thats fine, but some do and that is also fine.
I know one thing for a fact however and that is if you lie on this question you are not fit for a relationship. Because you dont build a relationship on lies.
you do it based on honesty and communication. If you cant handle that.
I much rather get shut down/walk away from said relationship with my self respect intact, than to continue with a liar and someone who cant be honest.
Im using myself as an example cuz ppl are easily triggered in this day and age.
I will get a lot of flak for this but i dont care.
If ppl cant be honest (without Ad hominem attacks) (i havent attacked anyone directly, im merely arguing here) we will only have a world full of convenient lies.
Mgtow...explains it all....while I think you make logical points in your own head I do believe your analysis of potential of "pair bonding being long gone" is insulting at best. She could have just been dating casually. Not every fuck is a pair bond..just saying
@@MichaelREFLECTS which is exactly why the reason of how many she sleeps with matters.....
it shows her promiscuity,mistakes, sense of morals and serisousness in relationships as well as how likely she is to make that mistake again.
also i saw your unedited comment of "who hurt you?"
maybe someone did, maybe someone didnt how and why does that matter? do my points make more or less sense based on that answer?
why is it always "who hurt you" with you ppl? do you think you make a cheeky comeback, or ha i got you moment?
@@swedeonhisway8608 i disagree. Her sleeping around and promiscuity doesn't matter. She may be loyal to you or not regardless of who she slept with. # count doesnt matter
@@MichaelREFLECTS and its fine to disagree, no problem with that what so ever. as i said before to some its fine, but to some its not.
are you a guy or a girl btw? just curious.
@@swedeonhisway8608 I'm a guy. Its just that some of the girls that were the most loyal to me until the end had multiple hookups (10+) and I have been cheated on before by a "wholesome" girl that hadn't. So in my limited experience...it's shown the opposite to be true. And even then I don't care to analyze it like that. Morality character and integrity are sadly fluid. Ideally they shouldn't be in ideally good people....but I don't like to think of the world in ideals. It's a dangerous path to being alone forever or distrusting everyone around you.
Dude your so right I asked a girl this question a while back and I feel like shit now I don't care who she has been with she's with me now and that's all that matters I'll ever do that again
Would you wife a women that has neen used for bukkake??
My kitty guy, after this, you convinced me to subscribe.
Your hair looks amazing in this video. ❤️
was it just me that die a little when matt just said 'lets go and have sex now' haha
I agree in that this question is unnecessary but I do think it's important to discuss sexual history from the point of view of wearing protection and opinions/experiences with STD's. Anyone knows how to bring up the subject in a friendly way?
Just use protection with that person, and when you're sure you want to be in a serious relationship get both tested for STD's.
my response is, "lets get tested, share results." those are the only numbers I will share with anyone. if more is required, walk away.
Always wear protection until it gets serious get tested when it gets serious
I love the Bloopers at the end of this video
heheheh! you are my love guru... love watching your vidoes. I like this advise you gave and also the way you approach this..
500 swipes in tinder and nothing.
I LOVE your face!!! :D :D :D
Dan Seabreeze Thanks for the love, but I wish you were a woman.
+halfvolley11 I love you man hahaha
Emre Durak Yeah I already have a lot of love from men.
I would totally buy that song on iTunes. Just sayin.
Loving the outtakes 😂😂😂
That bee IS my spirit animal chasing You 😂
I haven't asked this question since I was 18 with my first girlfriend and she told me a number that I wasn`t ready to hear and was NOT comfortable with. (a couple weeks later she said that didnt include her holiday to Magaluf ) Obviously this was my problem and my insecurities at play.
Now im older and have been around as it were, it is a bit of a trivial question which the number in itself doesn't necessarily mean much. I agree with almost everything in the video except its not necessarily a boring question, It should lead to an interesting conversation on your attitudes towards sex, how they have changed over time and what your looking for now!
I also think it's ok to talk about if both people are mature enough to take the answers. I prefer being and dating an open book :)
Say: "It's not as many as you think."
Don't even go there. Unless your trying to ruin a relationship.
G- Man Why do men ask that?
Amina A going to you photo post.
Or..."It's not as many as it could have been or still could be! But it will be one less, if you keep prying for that answer!" lol
summer fields lol
I'm sorry women, and Matthew, but for me (and some other men I guess) the number of guys a woman has slept with means something about her.
There's a huge difference between 5 and 35.
If you have slept let's say with 35 people and you find it ok giving yourself away like that to anyone that draws your attention means that you can't control your self, means that you lack discrimination skills, means that you possibly cannot maintain an emotional connection for too long, means that you don't know what you want, means that you care about sex more about a meaningful lasting relationship, means that you are bored easily etc.
This is an undeniable truth for me.
You could say that you don't care about me or my stupid opinions, which is fair, but the fact remains that the number of people you have slept with matters to some people and very likely means something about you.
And if you feel like you can't be honest about your past sexual choices and own them, then you need to forgive and accept yourself first before wanting someone else's acceptance.
Tony Galanopoulos Straight facts my friend
Amen ✊ brotha
Tony Galanopoulos I cried reading this, so true
@@ahmunmun725 I totally disagree, 0 is the perfect number as far as I'm concerned. Men who say it shouldn't be zero are low value men that care far more about sex than the actual woman they want to marry. You sound religious so why would you waste your time with a man that isn't a virgin too? Non-virgin men shouldn't be worth your time, they are a dime a dozen.
@@ahmunmun725 The irony lol. I am a man that IS waiting for marriage already. I have no interest in Non-virgin women. Only virgins are wife material to me. But you are asking a guy waiting for marriage so my answer is biased. But most guys vastly prefer women that are virgins even if they aren't virgins themselves. That is the male brain. I wouldn't be surprised if this guy that turned you down wants to wife you up when he's done banging his sluts.
I think this is so stupid, it's really important to know how many sexual partners a person has had, how can you not be honest in In a relationship? are you ashamed of saying how many people you've slept with, cause it sure seems like it, I mean, I understand the fact that you might not want to tell your friends/family members how many sexual partners you've had, but your bf/gf???.... it sure seems to me that people who have high numbers are the ones who don't like to talk about it cause people with morals would never be ashamed...ugh...horrible message that this video gives out.
Mr Cocky No I disagree. First of it is different if your bf asks instead of someone you date. If someone you are just dating asks you it is rude as fack and says alot about the guy. When I was a virgin I found the question very rude.
+Idontknowausername
If you've been dating in the long run and been in a relationship in about a year or two. Don't be surprised if your partner asks you that question. Its a key to be honest about a relationship.
my response is, "lets get tested, share results." those are the only numbers I will share with anyone. if more is required, walk away.
the number of people in reality doesn't matter, why?? because a virgin could sleep with someone and catch aids, syphilis, or herpes. the persons number is still 1. another could sleep with ten and have no std, the persons number is still ten. if you asked both people their number, you idiots would jump to the one who only had one partner because you are too focused on numbers and not on actual blood and physical exams by a doctor...and then throw in the face that people LIE AND YOU CANT INVESTIGATE HOW MANY PARTNERS A PERSON HAD TRULY HAD, AND YOU WOULD BE STUPID AND NAIVE TO GO BY THEIR WORD ALONE TO PROTECT YOUR HEALTH
+mfrierson7
That's how promiscuous people tend to tell themselves if they sleep so many people.
They tend to find reasons to justify how many guys they have slepped with.
Nice Song, Matt.near the end..😆..I think u missed your true calling..?..😉
So agree, it has nothing to do with the answer yet it’s just not a value-adding question to the relationship at all.
I honestly just want to know if they've had an STI. Numbers are unimportant. Thank you, Matthew! Now I know what to say to this
You can sleep with only ONE person and still get an STD.
Seriously Matt, where do you get such lovely advice from?? Do you have a tree or something at your place under which you sit to mediate and gain enlightenment?
Matt,
Truly, you are a prince. And a smart, loving one.
You’re like a godsend Matthew Hussey
The answer is always "3". Always.
I would need him to give me an exact number... If I wanna stay with him forever that's a question I'll always ask myself.