This was one of the bravest things I've seen this year. Your story cuts very close to home with many people. It's a very long road BUT you are not walking alone.
As the daughter of a mother with BPD/bipolar/narcissism, I really empathize with what you dealt with and am in awe of your bravery to share on your platform. I went no contact with my mother at around 22 (over.30 years ago) and it was the best decision of my life. She passed away last year and I did see her, but I never once regretted my choice. I'm so sorry for everything you had to endure.
It's such a strange thing to be a viewer on youtube sometimes. We get to watch parts of your life unfold and overtime feel like we know you. Even though it is one-sided and you don't know me, I just have to tell you that I think you're absolutely delightful and I was so moved by your honesty and vulnerability. I am stunned at your drive and determination to heal and share your painful experiences with all of us. You are worthy of all of the love in the universe! I am in graduate school to become a therapist and I am rooting for you and your healing journey!
Ive said it once and ill say it again, im inspired, in awe, and so dam impressed with the beautiful human youve become despite having gone through so much shit. It speaks volumes to your strength and your big heart. You are the opposite of the evil you grew up with. Thank you for sharing this story and paving the way of vulnerability for many of us heal and be seen. ❤
Thank you, sweet man. Thank you for being so supportive of my traumas and always knowing the perfect words to pick me up even when I don’t know what support I’m in need of. You show me a brighter perspective of myself. ❤️
My mum and i was physically abused by my bio dad and attempted to murder and drown me. I then was molested by my then step-dad who also physically abused and threatened my mom at gunpoint in front of me. That shit messed up my whole childhood and is impacting my life tremendously up until today
No child should ever have to go through these things. I was already proud of you, but this just confirms that you are a resilient and amazing person. This is important to talk about. Thank you.
Narcissist abusers hate anyone who is sick or injured and have about zero empathy, as in no clue of another's, pain, emotions, discomfort, hunger, agony, loneliness, on & on. They dismiss anothers humanness..it never stops..I'm very sorry that you went thru this..the scapegoat becomes the truth teller, heals and shines like gold..
I’m so sorry you and your brother suffered through this. I wish someone had known and said something. As someone who works for CPS, I can tell you that the cases of abuse that keep me up at night are the ones we don’t know about. The cases we have are heartbreaking and sad, but I usually take comfort in the fact that the abuse has been discovered and the kids are safer than they were before. But the kids who suffer and we don’t know about make me want to cry. For everyone reading this, never be afraid to call CPS if you have concerns. Better that the parents are inconvenienced by the inquiry than kids continuing to live with these horrors.
Thank you for sharing your story, I have also been there with abuse as a child and as an adult , this is a great platform to explore and express your feelings and experiences , you will help so many people, I greatly appreciate your bravery. Stay strong young lady and continue to tell your story, journal about it it’s be therapeutic to the soul , I wish I could hug you and always remember it’s ok to not be ok . Blessings to you dear
It’s really hard to watch that video,& to hear about the pain & abuse that you went through! It’s obvious your mother was a sick abusive person, and your father was no better for allowing it to happen. You have a smile that lights up the room, and it’s amazing to see that you have survived the abusive relationship, your mother and father gave you. I wish you nothing but the best in life because you certainly deserve it.
Sending love. Speaking the truth hurts but it helps to process trauma and also helps others who think they are alone in their adversities. Stay true to yourself, you're brave, you're honest, you're a force for good and truth xxx A stranger sending love ❤
Oh Nikita my heart is crying for you and your brother. You were treated brutally . Your childhood was unbelievably horrible! I want you to know I hear you and I truely love you. Please let me know how I can support you thru your healing.
Your voice and stories are very beutiful. No matter how heartfelt and disasterous. These stories are beyond messed up. But damn. I could hug you all night.
I feel this is so relateble . My father is a heavy drinker and the years weren't kind to us from childhood up until today . Lots of broken dishes , booze glasses thown , screaming , fights between my mother and him because of really small things we were always stay late and skip sleep to ensure that our mother was safe and that we were going to sleep peacefully until morning when he would get up and go to work as nothing would've happend last night . We were sleeping like 4 hours and getting up to school and stuggeling to keep a staight face and that mask got heavier and heavier each day/mounth/years . I trully feel sorry for you but happy to see that you got help .
Your trauma is valid no matter if there are “worse” situations. Your mom completely took advantage of your vulnerability and innocence, purposely striking fear in you because she was seemingly ill, and felt miserable and sadistic for whatever reason, and your dad is equally wrong for his passive cruelty. Thank you for sharing your stories, because it really does help others who may not have thought their abuse was “that bad” either. Anything that harms your mental health and makes you feel unsafe is abuse, and I am so glad you have survived to become the amazing person you are today. ❤
Nikita, that was so hard to hear. When you think highly of someone, it's hard to know and feel the pain they go through. And of course, coming from someone that you don't even know, there are no words that can be said that would change what you are going through. All I can say is that I hope sharing your story has somehow helped you with your healing process. If anything, I just want to say thank you for being you. You bring joy to so many through your channel. I hope you know and feel that joy. Sending my ❤
I too married at 19yrs to leave an abusive family and when I left due to DV, my Mum took my exhusband side and told everyone what a horrible person I am and a liar. I’m watching all of your video in a hope you will get more income. Sending you love and light 😍
This was courageous of you to share! Thank you! Please don’t let fear keep you from sharing again when the time comes! Just know, you aren’t any of those awful things that you were told, you aren’t any of those bad things that you were put through. I know you grew up loving your Mother, as did I but, knowing that I didn’t do anything bad by loving her was what really helped me heal. I got lost in self blame for a long time and my “friends” at that time of my life did nothing but tell me I was the reason things didn’t work for my parents and that I was the reason my mother “didn’t love me” .. Sharing our stories helps out those who think they are alone! I’m proud of you for letting us see this part of you and I know one day you’ll make a fantastic mother! May God Bless you!
Just listened to your story and dear girl I just want to give you a great big hug. You survived. Now you heal. Look forward to the future. I can't relate to any abuse but I do know what PTSD looks like. I had that after Afghanistan. Keep seeing your therapist, they will help. Keep your chin up, kiddo.
I knew I felt a connection with you but I didn't realize this was why. You're strong for sharing these details and giving us an insight on the things you remember. People see a woman with traumas, call us sensitive and question why, but they don't realize the pain we carry. My biggest fear is becoming what my mom was to us. I often wonder if we'll ever heal from this, I hope so. Big hugs, you aren't alone at all. I see and feel you on a spiritual level.
I'm so sorry you had to go through all of this Nikita, I started seeing a therapist this year as well and it has helped so much. If I could give you a hug I would, I wish you all the best on your path to healing from this horrible experience you've had to suffer.
Oh Nikita, so very proud of you for beginning your healing journey! Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing with us, we love you and are here for you! 💖 I experienced abuse as a child passed down from the generation before. Sick people do sick things. I know you'll break the cycle and help others do the same.
Thanks for being so brave to share all this with us. I had been watching through all your videos periodically, and knowing this one was coming up, I slowed down watching, knowing this would be a tough one. You're so very resilient to shine as bright as you do, given what you've been through. My siblings and I had some lame shit go down with our Mom and Dad as well, but not on the level you and your brother went through. I hope you can somehow guide them with love to perhaps somehow have your parent's pay the piper, perhaps by them coming on camera and fessing up, and maybe opening up about why thry treated you that way. But that's just a hopeful thought, either way maybe going no contact at least for a time could also be great for you. To relate, I'll share that I somehow have a vague fuzzy memory of my Dad swinging my siblings and I around by our hair and throwing us on the couch when we were young. Also, you rememinded me of when my Mom used my 2 webbed toes on each foot as a looming physical surgery threat type of thing as a punishment for something bad I may have done. The doctor thankfully said there was no good reason to do it, to unweb them, lol, and that was that. Sorry about your foot and everything else though. As bad as my Mom and Dad both were at times, I feel priveledged to be able to say that generally it was more good than bad. Congrats though on making such impressive progress and getting therapy Nikita, and I look forward to catching up with your videos! Stay precious and know that you're very much loved by your adoring fans, including me :)) ❤❤
Hello Nikita. I just came across your channel today and this title grabbed my attention. I just want to commend you for your vulnerability in sharing such difficult and very painful realities of your upbringing. I'm so proud of you for seeking out therapy for these areas. It can be scary at first, but it is such an ultimate blessing once you arrive on the other side, fully healed and whole. ❤😊🙏
I blacked out most of my childhood subconsciously. What i do remember, wasn't good...my mother would always say, "well you survived didn't ya?" And i always thought "no thanks to her"
Your bravery in sharing this with us Nikita is astonishing, my childhood was not a happy one due to my short-tempered father though your parents took it to a whole other level. Following your content knowing what you went through shines a different light. And it does seem like you are living a better life now, i want to see you thrive even further now!
Angels exist on this planet and you are one of them. You have a good soul with so many people that love you and want the best for you. Sending much energy and love your way. 🙏💕😢
Thank you for sharing Nakita. Sending you healing energy. You and your brother are amazing souls. And so glad I had the pleasure to make some really great memories with him and you. Keep working on you and loving yourself. 🫶🏽
I truly can relate to your pain. I don't want to throw story's out, but I kown how it feels to survive all levels of abuse. I also entered adulthood not knowing what was normal and the cycle continued I seem to be a asshole magnet.
I’m so sorry you had to go through such horrible abuse. You’re such a beautiful person inside and out. I hope nothing but the best for you. You deserve nothing but happiness ❤
Similar abuse I went though as well with my siblings. I can relate. The household was so hostile and sometimes they starved us. I would be woken up with a beating from deep sleep while being told how worthless I was. I just dont understand why some parents do this. Stay strong sister and much love
A lot of this rings true for my own mother, and my father who was an airline pilot and was away a lot. I feel for you and all I can say is you survived this far and now that is all memory but it can't happen again to you. ❤❤❤
I had to watch this twice .you are a brave young lady .your past and the negative moments do effect and mold your responses and the way you deal with relationships how you deal with everyday things .no shrink on the earth will tell you any different . We try hope fear for our future after such a past ... you are walking forward in your own shoes and dont let the steps of your past abusers walk behind you in your head ❤🐝💪
I’m 10 min in and I just want to hold you in my arms. You have an army of people who wish you the bestest in life. May you experience the healing that you deserve. Stay strong baby girl. I always had an inkling of why you don’t speak about family much. Sending you all the good this universe has to offer.
Oh Nikita. These types of stories of children having absolute shit parents has always made me so angry! It is so incredibly unfair that all you have to do to become a parent is have sex! That’s the ONLY requirement! What should be required is parenting classes and rigorous testing so that every child is given parents that are mentally and physically nurturing! I purposefully did not have children because I knew I couldn’t be that for a child. I don’t understand why others can’t make that decision too? I am so sorry you had to endure so much pain and heartache. None of which you asked for or deserved. I have found, however, that a lot of people that have experienced trauma as children have become very good empaths and champions for those who feel they have no voice. Just by you sharing your story, you are becoming part of the army that battles child abuse and child abusers. Thank you for opening up to all of us and being so vulnerable. I hope you know you are not alone🫶🏻
I’m so happy ur speaking to us becuz I went thru the same thing with my mother and I was raised by a single mother and I was the only child for seven years and I blacked out most my childhood, cuz of all the trauma and abuse I gotten from my mother n molested by my mothers sisters husbands and molested by my male cousins and I do carlife with my mother n I want out n my own car I used to be scared of her n now Im defending myself and we are just fighting a lot 😢I feel u and ur not alone cuz I was suicidal at 13 up until 20 and I’m 30 now thank god I don’t wanna die anymore. Thank u for sharing ❤ur so strong even tho u think ur not
As someone who's endured physical and emotional abuse as a child, you are not alone. It is nearly impossible to describe to anyone who hasn't experienced the terror what that feels like day in and day out. As a Gen-Xer, I'm so sorry for you that this crap is still going on and these awful defective people still exist. Our generation was basically told we will never amount to anything and collectively we told them to go f*** themselves. It is shameful that these kinds of people still have any business raising children, and it is shameful that our child protective services are so horrendous from intentional lack of funding. As Jewel's song goes, "Who will save your soul if you don't save your own?" I learned from a young age that I am the only person I can rely on and the new found members of our family we find on our journey through life. Know that you are loved and those who are following your journey and can relate to you are proud of you.
This abuse makes it so hard for those that suffer it to make us understand their suffering. Thank you for your effort to help us to know what goes on and how we might recognize the signs and get involved in stopping it. Yes! You were abused! Love to you!
So sorry to hear this at the start I was struggling not to cry as I’ve been through a lot of trauma with my father too. You are so strong , I can’t believe how strong you are and seem to be (.here after watching the Xbox unboxing)I know the effects on your self worth. I just can’t believe how evil your mother was to you both . She must’ve hated herself. God bless you
Jesus, Nikita! I've been watching your videos for a long time now and I don't even know what to say. I wish you would have a gathering where everyone who follows you could line up and give you a hug, although I suspect hugs from strangers is probably not your thing so... virtual hug? How terribly, terribly awful you and your siblings were treated this way. I hope you stick with the therapy and that it helps, and I hope you find somewhere emotionally safe to go for the holidays. Based on your subscriber count there are about 78.1k people who would most likely welcome you for Christmas dinner.
It's unbelievable to think that people can do such things and worse to children :( I am so sorry that you had to experience so much from such a young age. I hope sharing has helped in someway
I’m so sorry for the trauma you endured. You’re a strong woman to be speaking out about it. I’m sure you putting this on social media will help others as well as yourself. I’m glad you found a therapist you like and I’ll pray for you and others that experienced unthinkable trauma as children. Are your parents still among the living?
Whether it feels like it right now or not, you are healing from all of this pain and trauma! Choosing to heal is a radical act of self-love that has a ripple effect on humanity. Your 20s are for exploring and your 30s are for healing and overcoming trauma. So in awe of you! Always remember that you deserve love! You have an incredible spirit. Going no contact is the best decision my husband made with his abusive mother and toxic family. Unfortunately his other siblings will acknowledge the abuse in private but are still so under their mother's control and brainwashing that they are unable to pull away from her and have bullied my husband nonstop for not talking to her. He had to go no contact on them too for his own peace of mind. Nothing positive ever came from keeping in contact with his mother or with them. When it's the right time you'll do it too and will be better off. Keep safe ans healthy Nikita!
Nikita. I’m sorry for all you’ve suffered through. I’ve always thought you were intelligent and really cool. The kind of person I’d love to be friends with. There are countless people out there who love you and have been inspired by you. Thank you for sharing. There are a lot of people who need the healing of just knowing that others out there understand what they went through. My heart goes out to you. I am in awe of your bravery for sharing this. I admire you. ❤hugs
Hug! I could see how you struggled just to get through this. Saying things outloud is hard. I am so glad you were able to take this huge step in your journey to heal yourself. Thank you for trusting me to share those emotions with. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for.
First and foremost, thank you for telling your story. 🖤 You're helping more people than you may think, as many of us often feel so alone in terms of our childhood experiences. It's actually insane how many parallels our childhoods had. To this day, I don't know exactly what the psychology is behind this particular type of abuser, but my mother was very similar. Should be noted, though, that she was an alcoholic. From abandoning me at random places (this includes literally chucking me out of a moving vehicle into a busy street) to forcing my dad to be her sidekick to never letting me shave, go over to friends' houses, etc...anyway, she fell ill and sobered up recently...and now she wants to be "friends." Wishing you nothing but the best on your healing journey. Desperately wish I had some sage advice to pass along, but I got nothin. I've found that therapists tend to be big on the "forgiveness" aspect, but I'm just too angry to do that right now. I'm sure I'll catch hell from other commenters for saying this, but I really don't agree with that particular approach. I've been in this phase where I was honestly wondering if I manifested/deserved it all, but listening to your words made me realize how ridiculous my thoughts were. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. 💚
I noticed the "I'm too angry for forgiveness" in your healing journey. I am not a therapist and have only my life experiences and my journey to heal to speak of. I too went way too long being ANGRY of what happened to me and it caused a delay in my own healing process. I could not find the tools I needed and the path I needed to take thru the anger. It seems all of us who carry this burden of the trauma and pain are really good hearted and can't understand why we would be treated so badly, so the pain goes deep and grows as we go! I personally read many books on the different personalities of people and discovered that not everyone has the same heart as mine. Some are plain evil on many levels. Understanding the different personalities is a big step in knowledge and the big heart (victim) is the one where forgiveness has the most meaning. It truly does free your soul.....It freed mine and its not easy by any means. Find the tools and understanding you need to be free of the anger and pain you personally carry as some of us have already taken to journey. I wish you the best of luck and hope you find what works for you my fellow good heart! GOD BLESS YOU
Thank you for sharing your story with us. I hope this not only helps you heal but inspires others in a similar situation to know that it’s not normal and to try and get some help. Just know that we all love you and hope your healing continues to make you a stronger person.
This one was hard to watch 🥺 you’re such a gentle person and to know you were treated like that by your own mother… it breaks my heart! Just makes me want to be like a mom or a big sister and just love you! I’m a mom to 3 little kids.. I could never imagine doing the things to my babies like she’s done to you 😭😭😭 I’m so sorry tho Nikita! I’m so happy you get to go do things you want to do now with your own life!!!!!!! 🚐⛰️🏕️🛣️🗺️
it's good to speak out.. I grew up with my father abusive to only me and him and his entire side of the family telling me every day that I was not his son. when I would asked him to teach me stuff to do like welding carpentry and maintenance stuff he would get angry. start hitting me and throwing stuff at me. I have scars from being hit with wrenches and other tools. one time he threw a chainsaw at me from learning g on my own how to free hand sharpen the chain... I grew up every day knowing he wasn't my father. my only safe place away from him was out riding my horses checking on the cattle. so I basically grew up in the saddle on a horse. but he would teach other kids how to do thing and how to fix things. I once fixed a broken down trailer for wood hauling. and when I came home from school he had sold the trailer. another I fixed a broken down ATV and got it running. came home from school and again he had sold it to some relatives. so eventually I stopped fixing things around the house. other relatives and people saw him as a nice and sweet caring person. but didn't see the abusive person he was. I'm 39 and I still think he's not my father but on the day of his death I didn't go to the hospital to say anything... only thing I did was dug the grave by hand on a cold January with 4 feet of frozen ground .. place him and never said goodbye or anything. but that way the day I finally felt relieved and free of him ....
Thank you for opening up about this, you are very brave and strong. Awareness is so important and I’m sure your story will help many people. Praying for your peace, comfort and healing.
Nikita, I am so sad that you were subjected to so much abuse. It makes me sad that someone around you didn't notice the absur and report it. Hopefully telling your friends on here will help with your healing. You are a very intelligent and talented individual. You will heal from this!
I couldn't watch you cry more than 15mins. It is not that I don't care about your past experiences but rather "save" or "protect" that picture of you smiling, being brave and unique in so many ways. W.e you went thru, made you who you are now,today. The present 🎁 in which I wanna thank you for being my present 🎁 (cuz I'm watching the video lol). Your light never ceased to exist and thats how you got to me, I am glad and I appreciate your time (which cannot be bought back EVER). I now know that I hate seeing you cry. You are not alone.
Nikita, Wow, so sorry that you have been through this and so, so brave of you to share. This is why it is so important to never judge people since we have no idea what others have been through or are going through. Take care of yourself.
It's cool to see the other side of what looks like a perfect life. It makes people feel normal when they are dealing with this stuff. Keep on getting better. I'm glad you are getting some help that works for you.
You are such a beautiful person and I am so sorry you had to go through such a traumatic childhood. I’ve been a silent watcher since you were living in your car. I’ve always thought you were such a sweet, real and genuine, strong and adventurous person and that’s what has drawn me to follow you. You have an amazing testimony and I hope this vlog helped you in some small way as I know it will help many in the days and months to come. Know you are loved and keep living your life and enjoying the life you’ve worked so hard for. Keeping you in my prayers.
That was the most hardest thing i have ever herd you talk about chicky honestly and it just makes me want to hold you and hug you and tell you for the rest of your life that you are worthy, you are loved, you are perfect just the way you are, that you are cherished, you are beautiful in many different ways and most of all you are so very brave to be able to talk about such a horrifying topic, my heart and tears go out to you and im sending the most biggest hugs to you right now and i just hope you can feel them while i wipe away them tears of hurt and sadness 😢❤❤❤ please stay strong for me chicky so one day i can hopefully give you everything i have said and THAT'S A PROMISE ♥️💕♥️💕♥️💕♥️💕♥️💕♥️💕♥️💕♥️💕♥️💕♥️💕♥️💕♥️💕♥️❤️♥️❤️♥️💕♥️💕♥️💕♥️💕♥️💕♥️💕♥️
Been following for awhile. Takes heart and soul to talk that out. My mom was alcoholic my dad Chicago truck driver. Dad always bought me and older brother new dirtbikes and we would just be gone down railroad tracks to all the cool kids would ride. Very lonely but many life lessons learned. Northwest Indiana still lol
Thank you for your bravery and vulnerability in sharing your story. You are such a strong person and I wish you so much love and joy and laughter and lightness in your life
I'm so sorry and feel bad for you . I was abused by my father and got hit with a rubber hose for doing small things like dropping food on the floor or pulling water . Also when I was 10 I got sexual abused by my brother that was 5 years older then me . Keep your head up and again I'm sorry for all your pain
Hi Nikita, Sorry for your pain. I have life pain of a different sort. Talking provides some relief. Seeing the support provides more. I always reflect on, and like to think, a very wise God asks us to forgive, not so much for those who hurt us, but rather for us not to be consumed. Easily said. Take care. Be happy. Live good. Love. These are the important things in life.
Thank you for sharing. You are stronger than you think. Taking control of your life. I have experienced abuse before, but in the form of neglect. Healing Growing and Getting Better. 💜🙏🏾
I can't even imagine how hard it was to make this video and talk about such personal things about your life😢but so thankful you shared your story,your truly a remarkable person❤ ,and we all stand with you,much love coming your way❤️hope your having a wonderful day😊✌️👽
Is your mom asian? Im feeling a lot a parallels with my lovely asian tiger parenting. Im sorry you went through such horror. I often sit alone in anger, missing my childhood innocence, wishing I could have had a "normal" upbringing. I see my friends who had great parents, and they do so good in life. They just dont have these irrational mental blocks that kids like us do. I feel such deep empathy for you, youre not alone in how you feel.
I am so sorry Nikita! My heart weeps for what you and your brother went through. I can relate on so many levels with having abusive step fathers and then a stepmother who physically and mentally abused me to death in the exact same manner as what you went through. They are a special place in hell for people like them! We will live with the scars for the rest of our life in our hearts as a reminder that there is evil in this world and to never treat other people any less than we want to be treated! You can get ahold of me anytime any day you want if the time ever arises that you need someone to talk to who can relate or Hell even just to keep your mind away from the pain I am always here. I’ll catch you if you fall! Thank you for the courage it took to tell this pain in your heart! ❤️
I'm so sorry for what you have had to endure and still deal with. I admire the strength it must have took to put this video out. You are valid, you are worthy, and you deserve to heal. -- non creepy internet hug from a stranger--
I’m so sorry you and your brother had to go through that! I’m so glad you put it out there and most likely helping others. Keep your head up. Go no contact! It’ll help you heal better. Hope to meet you one day when I hit the road. *hugs*
I honestly don't know what to say.....I do know that trust and love exists but it's like trying to explain a rainbow to someone who has never seen one, but you will know it when you see it. I hope opening up on this video gave you some kind of release. And just one human being to another....I love you ❤.
Thank you for trusting us with this painful information and starting a conversation around child abuse.Im so sorry your childhood was so traumatic and horrible no child deserves this . I hope you access support services your beautiful soul deserves healing. Undiagnosed people with mental illness can be destructive. I truly hope you overcome or learn how to live with this trauma. Send you love and light ❤❤❤
Nikita, I'm glad you made this video and had the encourage to post it. Having been raised in a loving home I can only imagine what you, your brother, and thousands of other children went through while growing up. So glad you are in therapy. I hope you find an understanding person who will love you unconditionally. When you do find that special someone make sure you share with them everything (and more) that you've shared with us. Just remember that none of that abuse was your fault. The blame lies squarely on your parents' shoulders. I just hope Karma visits them while they are still alive. As a person who believes in Heaven and Hell, I have to believe there is a special place in Hell for parents who abuse their children.
Sending you so much love and respect. This must have been so hard to do. Good for you for working on yourself and healing these traumas, it is a never ending job. I do think (not that my opinion matters, I am not in your shoes) that you would be better off no contact with both of your parents. Give you the space and time to fully realize your self, independant of their influence, and to recognize what an awesome human you turned into despite them!
“Don't speak negatively about yourself, even as a joke. Your body doesn't know the difference. Words are energy and they cast spells, that's why it's called spelling. Change the way you speak about yourself, and you can change your life.” ― Bruce Lee
I made it through the whole video, listening to what you’re saying, and feel for you. I grew up with a father. That was well a man that taught me how not to be a man like him. And a mother that acted like she didn’t notice anything that was going on.
😢 ... I think I understand the appeal to van life for you now Nikita. Let it all out, nothing held back ❤ This is a big step for you in your journey towards inner peace, so well done 🙏 Just keep looking and moving forwards. Though you never forget, you'll come to bear it better until it becomes a smaller and smaller piece of who you are. Many good things yet to come to help define who you are. Keep going brave woman, reclamation is at hand 🙌💪😉
That took so much…courage, vulnerability, everything. Thank you for sharing 🫶🏼
This was one of the bravest things I've seen this year.
Your story cuts very close to home with many people.
It's a very long road BUT you are not walking alone.
As the daughter of a mother with BPD/bipolar/narcissism, I really empathize with what you dealt with and am in awe of your bravery to share on your platform. I went no contact with my mother at around 22 (over.30 years ago) and it was the best decision of my life. She passed away last year and I did see her, but I never once regretted my choice. I'm so sorry for everything you had to endure.
Holy fuck Nikita, I’m so glad you’re still here. 💙 Your story is of strength, I appreciate you.
It's such a strange thing to be a viewer on youtube sometimes. We get to watch parts of your life unfold and overtime feel like we know you. Even though it is one-sided and you don't know me, I just have to tell you that I think you're absolutely delightful and I was so moved by your honesty and vulnerability. I am stunned at your drive and determination to heal and share your painful experiences with all of us. You are worthy of all of the love in the universe! I am in graduate school to become a therapist and I am rooting for you and your healing journey!
Ive said it once and ill say it again, im inspired, in awe, and so dam impressed with the beautiful human youve become despite having gone through so much shit. It speaks volumes to your strength and your big heart. You are the opposite of the evil you grew up with. Thank you for sharing this story and paving the way of vulnerability for many of us heal and be seen. ❤
Thank you, sweet man. Thank you for being so supportive of my traumas and always knowing the perfect words to pick me up even when I don’t know what support I’m in need of. You show me a brighter perspective of myself. ❤️
My mum and i was physically abused by my bio dad and attempted to murder and drown me. I then was molested by my then step-dad who also physically abused and threatened my mom at gunpoint in front of me. That shit messed up my whole childhood and is impacting my life tremendously up until today
Also I feel you on the “oh people are gonna think these stories are not even that bad.”
No child should ever have to go through these things. I was already proud of you, but this just confirms that you are a resilient and amazing person. This is important to talk about. Thank you.
Narcissist abusers hate anyone who is sick or injured and have about zero empathy, as in no clue of another's, pain, emotions, discomfort, hunger, agony, loneliness, on & on. They dismiss anothers humanness..it never stops..I'm very sorry that you went thru this..the scapegoat becomes the truth teller, heals and shines like gold..
I’m so sorry you and your brother suffered through this. I wish someone had known and said something. As someone who works for CPS, I can tell you that the cases of abuse that keep me up at night are the ones we don’t know about. The cases we have are heartbreaking and sad, but I usually take comfort in the fact that the abuse has been discovered and the kids are safer than they were before. But the kids who suffer and we don’t know about make me want to cry. For everyone reading this, never be afraid to call CPS if you have concerns. Better that the parents are inconvenienced by the inquiry than kids continuing to live with these horrors.
Oh sweetheart! Much much love coming your way!
Thank you for sharing your story, I have also been there with abuse as a child and as an adult , this is a great platform to explore and express your feelings and experiences , you will help so many people, I greatly appreciate your bravery. Stay strong young lady and continue to tell your story, journal about it it’s be therapeutic to the soul , I wish I could hug you and always remember it’s ok to not be ok . Blessings to you dear
It’s really hard to watch that video,& to hear about the pain & abuse that you went through! It’s obvious your mother was a sick abusive person, and your father was no better for allowing it to happen. You have a smile that lights up the room, and it’s amazing to see that you have survived the abusive relationship, your mother and father gave you. I wish you nothing but the best in life because you certainly deserve it.
Sending love. Speaking the truth hurts but it helps to process trauma and also helps others who think they are alone in their adversities. Stay true to yourself, you're brave, you're honest, you're a force for good and truth xxx A stranger sending love ❤
Oh Nikita my heart is crying for you and your brother. You were treated brutally . Your childhood was unbelievably horrible!
I want you to know I hear you and I truely love you. Please let me know how I can support you thru your healing.
Your voice and stories are very beutiful. No matter how heartfelt and disasterous. These stories are beyond messed up. But damn. I could hug you all night.
I hope you and your brother are healing with time and counseling. You’re a strong person for sharing and I hope it gives you peace.
I feel this is so relateble . My father is a heavy drinker and the years weren't kind to us from childhood up until today . Lots of broken dishes , booze glasses thown , screaming , fights between my mother and him because of really small things we were always stay late and skip sleep to ensure that our mother was safe and that we were going to sleep peacefully until morning when he would get up and go to work as nothing would've happend last night . We were sleeping like 4 hours and getting up to school and stuggeling to keep a staight face and that mask got heavier and heavier each day/mounth/years . I trully feel sorry for you but happy to see that you got help .
Your trauma is valid no matter if there are “worse” situations. Your mom completely took advantage of your vulnerability and innocence, purposely striking fear in you because she was seemingly ill, and felt miserable and sadistic for whatever reason, and your dad is equally wrong for his passive cruelty. Thank you for sharing your stories, because it really does help others who may not have thought their abuse was “that bad” either. Anything that harms your mental health and makes you feel unsafe is abuse, and I am so glad you have survived to become the amazing person you are today. ❤
Nikita, that was so hard to hear. When you think highly of someone, it's hard to know and feel the pain they go through. And of course, coming from someone that you don't even know, there are no words that can be said that would change what you are going through. All I can say is that I hope sharing your story has somehow helped you with your healing process. If anything, I just want to say thank you for being you. You bring joy to so many through your channel. I hope you know and feel that joy. Sending my ❤
Thank you so much, Greg. Your kindness means a lot and I appreciate you. ❤️
Thank you for being so vulnerable and open. Your strength is inspiring for many.
I too married at 19yrs to leave an abusive family and when I left due to DV, my Mum took my exhusband side and told everyone what a horrible person I am and a liar. I’m watching all of your video in a hope you will get more income. Sending you love and light 😍
This was courageous of you to share! Thank you! Please don’t let fear keep you from sharing again when the time comes! Just know, you aren’t any of those awful things that you were told, you aren’t any of those bad things that you were put through. I know you grew up loving your Mother, as did I but, knowing that I didn’t do anything bad by loving her was what really helped me heal. I got lost in self blame for a long time and my “friends” at that time of my life did nothing but tell me I was the reason things didn’t work for my parents and that I was the reason my mother “didn’t love me” .. Sharing our stories helps out those who think they are alone! I’m proud of you for letting us see this part of you and I know one day you’ll make a fantastic mother! May God Bless you!
Just listened to your story and dear girl I just want to give you a great big hug. You survived. Now you heal. Look forward to the future. I can't relate to any abuse but I do know what PTSD looks like. I had that after Afghanistan. Keep seeing your therapist, they will help. Keep your chin up, kiddo.
I knew I felt a connection with you but I didn't realize this was why. You're strong for sharing these details and giving us an insight on the things you remember. People see a woman with traumas, call us sensitive and question why, but they don't realize the pain we carry. My biggest fear is becoming what my mom was to us. I often wonder if we'll ever heal from this, I hope so. Big hugs, you aren't alone at all. I see and feel you on a spiritual level.
I am so sorry to hear what you went through. I just want to hug you sweetheart. Just realize you are awesome and so strong to share this. So sorry
I'm so sorry you had to go through all of this Nikita, I started seeing a therapist this year as well and it has helped so much. If I could give you a hug I would, I wish you all the best on your path to healing from this horrible experience you've had to suffer.
Oh Nikita, so very proud of you for beginning your healing journey! Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing with us, we love you and are here for you! 💖 I experienced abuse as a child passed down from the generation before. Sick people do sick things. I know you'll break the cycle and help others do the same.
Thanks for being so brave to share all this with us. I had been watching through all your videos periodically, and knowing this one was coming up, I slowed down watching, knowing this would be a tough one. You're so very resilient to shine as bright as you do, given what you've been through. My siblings and I had some lame shit go down with our Mom and Dad as well, but not on the level you and your brother went through. I hope you can somehow guide them with love to perhaps somehow have your parent's pay the piper, perhaps by them coming on camera and fessing up, and maybe opening up about why thry treated you that way. But that's just a hopeful thought, either way maybe going no contact at least for a time could also be great for you. To relate, I'll share that I somehow have a vague fuzzy memory of my Dad swinging my siblings and I around by our hair and throwing us on the couch when we were young. Also, you rememinded me of when my Mom used my 2 webbed toes on each foot as a looming physical surgery threat type of thing as a punishment for something bad I may have done. The doctor thankfully said there was no good reason to do it, to unweb them, lol, and that was that. Sorry about your foot and everything else though. As bad as my Mom and Dad both were at times, I feel priveledged to be able to say that generally it was more good than bad. Congrats though on making such impressive progress and getting therapy Nikita, and I look forward to catching up with your videos! Stay precious and know that you're very much loved by your adoring fans, including me :)) ❤❤
Hello Nikita. I just came across your channel today and this title grabbed my attention. I just want to commend you for your vulnerability in sharing such difficult and very painful realities of your upbringing. I'm so proud of you for seeking out therapy for these areas. It can be scary at first, but it is such an ultimate blessing once you arrive on the other side, fully healed and whole. ❤😊🙏
I blacked out most of my childhood subconsciously. What i do remember, wasn't good...my mother would always say, "well you survived didn't ya?" And i always thought "no thanks to her"
Same here.. I dont know whats worst.. To remmember or not to. but at the same time know inside that you were not safe
I blocked most of my childhood out too
Your bravery in sharing this with us Nikita is astonishing, my childhood was not a happy one due to my short-tempered father though your parents took it to a whole other level. Following your content knowing what you went through shines a different light. And it does seem like you are living a better life now, i want to see you thrive even further now!
You're beautiful and brave for sharing. I think talking about it is important and will help you heal. Sending you a big hug!
Angels exist on this planet and you are one of them. You have a good soul with so many people that love you and want the best for you. Sending much energy and love your way. 🙏💕😢
Thank you for sharing Nakita. Sending you healing energy. You and your brother are amazing souls. And so glad I had the pleasure to make some really great memories with him and you. Keep working on you and loving yourself. 🫶🏽
I truly can relate to your pain. I don't want to throw story's out, but I kown how it feels to survive all levels of abuse. I also entered adulthood not knowing what was normal and the cycle continued I seem to be a asshole magnet.
I’m so sorry you had to go through such horrible abuse. You’re such a beautiful person inside and out. I hope nothing but the best for you. You deserve nothing but happiness ❤
Similar abuse I went though as well with my siblings. I can relate. The household was so hostile and sometimes they starved us. I would be woken up with a beating from deep sleep while being told how worthless I was. I just dont understand why some parents do this. Stay strong sister and much love
A lot of this rings true for my own mother, and my father who was an airline pilot and was away a lot. I feel for you and all I can say is you survived this far and now that is all memory but it can't happen again to you. ❤❤❤
Thank you for sharing this with the world. Your helping so many know they’re not alone and there’s hope
I had to watch this twice .you are a brave young lady .your past and the negative moments do effect and mold your responses and the way you deal with relationships how you deal with everyday things .no shrink on the earth
will tell you any different . We try hope fear for our future after such a past ... you are walking forward in your own shoes and dont let the steps of your past abusers walk behind you in your head ❤🐝💪
I’m 10 min in and I just want to hold you in my arms. You have an army of people who wish you the bestest in life. May you experience the healing that you deserve. Stay strong baby girl. I always had an inkling of why you don’t speak about family much. Sending you all the good this universe has to offer.
Ugh, thank you so much. 🩶 I feel seen. 💕
Oh Nikita. These types of stories of children having absolute shit parents has always made me so angry! It is so incredibly unfair that all you have to do to become a parent is have sex! That’s the ONLY requirement! What should be required is parenting classes and rigorous testing so that every child is given parents that are mentally and physically nurturing! I purposefully did not have children because I knew I couldn’t be that for a child. I don’t understand why others can’t make that decision too?
I am so sorry you had to endure so much pain and heartache. None of which you asked for or deserved. I have found, however, that a lot of people that have experienced trauma as children have become very good empaths and champions for those who feel they have no voice. Just by you sharing your story, you are becoming part of the army that battles child abuse and child abusers. Thank you for opening up to all of us and being so vulnerable. I hope you know you are not alone🫶🏻
I’m so happy ur speaking to us becuz I went thru the same thing with my mother and I was raised by a single mother and I was the only child for seven years and I blacked out most my childhood, cuz of all the trauma and abuse I gotten from my mother n molested by my mothers sisters husbands and molested by my male cousins and I do carlife with my mother n I want out n my own car I used to be scared of her n now Im defending myself and we are just fighting a lot 😢I feel u and ur not alone cuz I was suicidal at 13 up until 20 and I’m 30 now thank god I don’t wanna die anymore. Thank u for sharing ❤ur so strong even tho u think ur not
As someone who's endured physical and emotional abuse as a child, you are not alone. It is nearly impossible to describe to anyone who hasn't experienced the terror what that feels like day in and day out. As a Gen-Xer, I'm so sorry for you that this crap is still going on and these awful defective people still exist. Our generation was basically told we will never amount to anything and collectively we told them to go f*** themselves. It is shameful that these kinds of people still have any business raising children, and it is shameful that our child protective services are so horrendous from intentional lack of funding. As Jewel's song goes, "Who will save your soul if you don't save your own?" I learned from a young age that I am the only person I can rely on and the new found members of our family we find on our journey through life.
Know that you are loved and those who are following your journey and can relate to you are proud of you.
This abuse makes it so hard for those that suffer it to make us understand their suffering. Thank you for your effort to help us to know what goes on and how we might recognize the signs and get involved in stopping it. Yes! You were abused! Love to you!
So sorry to hear this at the start I was struggling not to cry as I’ve been through a lot of trauma with my father too. You are so strong , I can’t believe how strong you are and seem to be (.here after watching the Xbox unboxing)I know the effects on your self worth. I just can’t believe how evil your mother was to you both . She must’ve hated herself. God bless you
Jesus, Nikita! I've been watching your videos for a long time now and I don't even know what to say. I wish you would have a gathering where everyone who follows you could line up and give you a hug, although I suspect hugs from strangers is probably not your thing so... virtual hug? How terribly, terribly awful you and your siblings were treated this way. I hope you stick with the therapy and that it helps, and I hope you find somewhere emotionally safe to go for the holidays. Based on your subscriber count there are about 78.1k people who would most likely welcome you for Christmas dinner.
It's unbelievable to think that people can do such things and worse to children :(
I am so sorry that you had to experience so much from such a young age.
I hope sharing has helped in someway
I’m so sorry for the trauma you endured. You’re a strong woman to be speaking out about it. I’m sure you putting this on social media will help others as well as yourself. I’m glad you found a therapist you like and I’ll pray for you and others that experienced unthinkable trauma as children. Are your parents still among the living?
Whether it feels like it right now or not, you are healing from all of this pain and trauma! Choosing to heal is a radical act of self-love that has a ripple effect on humanity. Your 20s are for exploring and your 30s are for healing and overcoming trauma. So in awe of you! Always remember that you deserve love! You have an incredible spirit. Going no contact is the best decision my husband made with his abusive mother and toxic family. Unfortunately his other siblings will acknowledge the abuse in private but are still so under their mother's control and brainwashing that they are unable to pull away from her and have bullied my husband nonstop for not talking to her. He had to go no contact on them too for his own peace of mind. Nothing positive ever came from keeping in contact with his mother or with them. When it's the right time you'll do it too and will be better off. Keep safe ans healthy Nikita!
Nikita. I’m sorry for all you’ve suffered through. I’ve always thought you were intelligent and really cool. The kind of person I’d love to be friends with. There are countless people out there who love you and have been inspired by you. Thank you for sharing. There are a lot of people who need the healing of just knowing that others out there understand what they went through. My heart goes out to you. I am in awe of your bravery for sharing this. I admire you. ❤hugs
Hug! I could see how you struggled just to get through this. Saying things outloud is hard. I am so glad you were able to take this huge step in your journey to heal yourself. Thank you for trusting me to share those emotions with. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for.
First and foremost, thank you for telling your story. 🖤 You're helping more people than you may think, as many of us often feel so alone in terms of our childhood experiences.
It's actually insane how many parallels our childhoods had. To this day, I don't know exactly what the psychology is behind this particular type of abuser, but my mother was very similar. Should be noted, though, that she was an alcoholic. From abandoning me at random places (this includes literally chucking me out of a moving vehicle into a busy street) to forcing my dad to be her sidekick to never letting me shave, go over to friends' houses, etc...anyway, she fell ill and sobered up recently...and now she wants to be "friends."
Wishing you nothing but the best on your healing journey. Desperately wish I had some sage advice to pass along, but I got nothin. I've found that therapists tend to be big on the "forgiveness" aspect, but I'm just too angry to do that right now. I'm sure I'll catch hell from other commenters for saying this, but I really don't agree with that particular approach.
I've been in this phase where I was honestly wondering if I manifested/deserved it all, but listening to your words made me realize how ridiculous my thoughts were. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. 💚
I noticed the "I'm too angry for forgiveness" in your healing journey. I am not a therapist and have only my life experiences and my journey to heal to speak of. I too went way too long being ANGRY of what happened to me and it caused a delay in my own healing process. I could not find the tools I needed and the path I needed to take thru the anger. It seems all of us who carry this burden of the trauma and pain are really good hearted and can't understand why we would be treated so badly, so the pain goes deep and grows as we go! I personally read many books on the different personalities of people and discovered that not everyone has the same heart as mine. Some are plain evil on many levels. Understanding the different personalities is a big step in knowledge and the big heart (victim) is the one where forgiveness has the most meaning. It truly does free your soul.....It freed mine and its not easy by any means. Find the tools and understanding you need to be free of the anger and pain you personally carry as some of us have already taken to journey. I wish you the best of luck and hope you find what works for you my fellow good heart! GOD BLESS YOU
Thank you for sharing your story with us. I hope this not only helps you heal but inspires others in a similar situation to know that it’s not normal and to try and get some help.
Just know that we all love you and hope your healing continues to make you a stronger person.
This one was hard to watch 🥺 you’re such a gentle person and to know you were treated like that by your own mother… it breaks my heart! Just makes me want to be like a mom or a big sister and just love you! I’m a mom to 3 little kids.. I could never imagine doing the things to my babies like she’s done to you 😭😭😭 I’m so sorry tho Nikita! I’m so happy you get to go do things you want to do now with your own life!!!!!!! 🚐⛰️🏕️🛣️🗺️
it's good to speak out.. I grew up with my father abusive to only me and him and his entire side of the family telling me every day that I was not his son. when I would asked him to teach me stuff to do like welding carpentry and maintenance stuff he would get angry. start hitting me and throwing stuff at me. I have scars from being hit with wrenches and other tools. one time he threw a chainsaw at me from learning g on my own how to free hand sharpen the chain... I grew up every day knowing he wasn't my father. my only safe place away from him was out riding my horses checking on the cattle. so I basically grew up in the saddle on a horse. but he would teach other kids how to do thing and how to fix things. I once fixed a broken down trailer for wood hauling. and when I came home from school he had sold the trailer. another I fixed a broken down ATV and got it running. came home from school and again he had sold it to some relatives. so eventually I stopped fixing things around the house. other relatives and people saw him as a nice and sweet caring person. but didn't see the abusive person he was. I'm 39 and I still think he's not my father but on the day of his death I didn't go to the hospital to say anything... only thing I did was dug the grave by hand on a cold January with 4 feet of frozen ground .. place him and never said goodbye or anything. but that way the day I finally felt relieved and free of him ....
Thank you for opening up about this, you are very brave and strong. Awareness is so important and I’m sure your story will help many people. Praying for your peace, comfort and healing.
Nikita, I am so sad that you were subjected to so much abuse. It makes me sad that someone around you didn't notice the absur and report it. Hopefully telling your friends on here will help with your healing. You are a very intelligent and talented individual. You will heal from this!
I’ve followed you for so long and never knew. Hugs!!! Thank you for being so brave. ❤❤❤
I couldn't watch you cry more than 15mins. It is not that I don't care about your past experiences but rather "save" or "protect" that picture of you smiling, being brave and unique in so many ways. W.e you went thru, made you who you are now,today. The present 🎁 in which I wanna thank you for being my present 🎁 (cuz I'm watching the video lol). Your light never ceased to exist and thats how you got to me, I am glad and I appreciate your time (which cannot be bought back EVER). I now know that I hate seeing you cry.
You are not alone.
Nikita, Wow, so sorry that you have been through this and so, so brave of you to share. This is why it is so important to never judge people since we have no idea what others have been through or are going through. Take care of yourself.
It's cool to see the other side of what looks like a perfect life. It makes people feel normal when they are dealing with this stuff. Keep on getting better. I'm glad you are getting some help that works for you.
Thanks for sharing, makes me feel like I'm not alone with my struggles.
You are such a beautiful person and I am so sorry you had to go through such a traumatic childhood. I’ve been a silent watcher since you were living in your car. I’ve always thought you were such a sweet, real and genuine, strong and adventurous person and that’s what has drawn me to follow you. You have an amazing testimony and I hope this vlog helped you in some small way as I know it will help many in the days and months to come. Know you are loved and keep living your life and enjoying the life you’ve worked so hard for. Keeping you in my prayers.
That was the most hardest thing i have ever herd you talk about chicky honestly and it just makes me want to hold you and hug you and tell you for the rest of your life that you are worthy, you are loved, you are perfect just the way you are, that you are cherished, you are beautiful in many different ways and most of all you are so very brave to be able to talk about such a horrifying topic, my heart and tears go out to you and im sending the most biggest hugs to you right now and i just hope you can feel them while i wipe away them tears of hurt and sadness 😢❤❤❤ please stay strong for me chicky so one day i can hopefully give you everything i have said and THAT'S A PROMISE ♥️💕♥️💕♥️💕♥️💕♥️💕♥️💕♥️💕♥️💕♥️💕♥️💕♥️💕♥️💕♥️❤️♥️❤️♥️💕♥️💕♥️💕♥️💕♥️💕♥️💕♥️
😭 😢 you may not believe it when I say, you are loved but you are! Nikita, you do matter and you are so so loved!
Been following for awhile. Takes heart and soul to talk that out. My mom was alcoholic my dad Chicago truck driver. Dad always bought me and older brother new dirtbikes and we would just be gone down railroad tracks to all the cool kids would ride. Very lonely but many life lessons learned. Northwest Indiana still lol
Im so sorry for what you went through. You didnt deserve it and no child deserves it. Its good that your opening up about it.
Thank you for your bravery and vulnerability in sharing your story. You are such a strong person and I wish you so much love and joy and laughter and lightness in your life
Sending so much love and positivity your way ❤️ the universe saw you. And look at you now ❤️ leave her in your dust
I'm so sorry and feel bad for you . I was abused by my father and got hit with a rubber hose for doing small things like dropping food on the floor or pulling water . Also when I was 10 I got sexual abused by my brother that was 5 years older then me . Keep your head up and again I'm sorry for all your pain
Hi Nikita, Sorry for your pain. I have life pain of a different sort. Talking provides some relief. Seeing the support provides more. I always reflect on, and like to think, a very wise God asks us to forgive, not so much for those who hurt us, but rather for us not to be consumed. Easily said. Take care. Be happy. Live good. Love. These are the important things in life.
Thank you for sharing. You are stronger than you think. Taking control of your life. I have experienced abuse before, but in the form of neglect. Healing Growing and Getting Better. 💜🙏🏾
I can't even imagine how hard it was to make this video and talk about such personal things about your life😢but so thankful you shared your story,your truly a remarkable person❤ ,and we all stand with you,much love coming your way❤️hope your having a wonderful day😊✌️👽
Is your mom asian? Im feeling a lot a parallels with my lovely asian tiger parenting. Im sorry you went through such horror. I often sit alone in anger, missing my childhood innocence, wishing I could have had a "normal" upbringing. I see my friends who had great parents, and they do so good in life. They just dont have these irrational mental blocks that kids like us do. I feel such deep empathy for you, youre not alone in how you feel.
I am so sorry Nikita! My heart weeps for what you and your brother went through. I can relate on so many levels with having abusive step fathers and then a stepmother who physically and mentally abused me to death in the exact same manner as what you went through. They are a special place in hell for people like them! We will live with the scars for the rest of our life in our hearts as a reminder that there is evil in this world and to never treat other people any less than we want to be treated! You can get ahold of me anytime any day you want if the time ever arises that you need someone to talk to who can relate or Hell even just to keep your mind away from the pain I am always here. I’ll catch you if you fall! Thank you for the courage it took to tell this pain in your heart! ❤️
You are strong,brave and beautiful.. I’m so sorry you had such a hard childhood..
I'm so sorry for what you have had to endure and still deal with. I admire the strength it must have took to put this video out. You are valid, you are worthy, and you deserve to heal. -- non creepy internet hug from a stranger--
I’m so sorry you and your brother had to go through that! I’m so glad you put it out there and most likely helping others. Keep your head up. Go no contact! It’ll help you heal better. Hope to meet you one day when I hit the road. *hugs*
Its good that you a lot of other people that have gone though it have opened up,you I hope will feel a whole lot better
We are all always here for you Nikita
I honestly don't know what to say.....I do know that trust and love exists but it's like trying to explain a rainbow to someone who has never seen one, but you will know it when you see it. I hope opening up on this video gave you some kind of release. And just one human being to another....I love you ❤.
Thank you for trusting us with this painful information and starting a conversation around child abuse.Im so sorry your childhood was so traumatic and horrible no child deserves this . I hope you access support services your beautiful soul deserves healing. Undiagnosed people with mental illness can be destructive. I truly hope you overcome or learn how to live with this trauma. Send you love and light ❤❤❤
Gotta kick toxic people out of your life no matter who they are. No contact is the best contact
❤ lots of folks have gone thru it!❤
Thank you so much for sharing. My childhood was a bit like this . It wasn’t as extreme as yours but still traumatic. I’m so sorry, you are so strong
You poor love….sending you a genuine heartfelt hug Nikita
It will get better and you'll much stronger❤
Thank for opening up and sharing all of this so publicly! I’m so proud of you my friend💜💜
Nikita, I'm glad you made this video and had the encourage to post it. Having been raised in a loving home I can only imagine what you, your brother, and thousands of other children went through while growing up. So glad you are in therapy. I hope you find an understanding person who will love you unconditionally. When you do find that special someone make sure you share with them everything (and more) that you've shared with us. Just remember that none of that abuse was your fault. The blame lies squarely on your parents' shoulders. I just hope Karma visits them while they are still alive. As a person who believes in Heaven and Hell, I have to believe there is a special place in Hell for parents who abuse their children.
I hope you have a good day, thanks for sharing yourself and your stories and being a beacon of hope for the community and those around you.
Sending you so much love and respect. This must have been so hard to do. Good for you for working on yourself and healing these traumas, it is a never ending job. I do think (not that my opinion matters, I am not in your shoes) that you would be better off no contact with both of your parents. Give you the space and time to fully realize your self, independant of their influence, and to recognize what an awesome human you turned into despite them!
So so sad you had to experience such abuse, from both parents and your family!❤
“Don't speak negatively about yourself, even as a joke. Your body doesn't know the difference. Words are energy and they cast spells, that's why it's called spelling. Change the way you speak about yourself, and you can change your life.” ― Bruce Lee
Thank you for being so brave. You really helped me be brave ❤ I'm 32 as well
sorry Nikita i wanna hug and love you. i had a lotta verbal abuse from both parents, also physical from dad so i totally relate.
My mom actually burnt my twin sis with a hot iron too. i remember that.
Bunions
Sending you loads of love. It’s a courageous thing to share and it’s a credit to your mental maturity to be able to discuss such things. All the best!
I made it through the whole video, listening to what you’re saying, and feel for you. I grew up with a father. That was well a man that taught me how not to be a man like him. And a mother that acted like she didn’t notice anything that was going on.
😢 ... I think I understand the appeal to van life for you now Nikita. Let it all out, nothing held back ❤ This is a big step for you in your journey towards inner peace, so well done 🙏 Just keep looking and moving forwards. Though you never forget, you'll come to bear it better until it becomes a smaller and smaller piece of who you are. Many good things yet to come to help define who you are. Keep going brave woman, reclamation is at hand 🙌💪😉