With the "date my daughter or be unemployed" story, I wouldn't be surprised if "Karin's" daughter started having much more organic feelings develop for the OP with the way he stood up to her mom and might have tried to look him up and ask him out the next year.
To the story of the woman who lost her mom I'm sorry for your lost, having anyone close to you pass away isn't emotion you should prevent but allow. To express the emotional impact of what they meant to you really shows how much you valued them. The other side isn't a topic most people would like to talk about,but at least know this that your mom can happily have no regrets at what she raised in the end YOU and even though she's not here she'll always watch you from the other side with a smile on her face that you remember with her in the past, stay strong and don't bottle those emotion
Right? I don't get why she would do that. Why anyone would do that. They're both teenagers, they shouldn't be forced to date one another. Talk about krazy karen mother! She should be forced out of the store and not allowed to return.
I’m not surprised by story 1 but that’s honestly kinda relatable to me too the embarrassment part my grandpa would embarrass me every chance he got trying to make jokes
Parents should never decide who their own kids date or not date. I've seen too many forced marriages in which the mother of the groom or the bride is very controlling and demands that they get their way. What's even worse is the mother or mother-in-law often will try to instigate arguments to ruin the mood especially on happier occasions.
@@steveboone1498 yeah i agree, they should learn that this isn't like the medieval times, also if the daughter's Karen mother is planning on selling her own flesh and blood later, then she'll be arrested for that.
About the second story- Yes, grieving a loss is hard and a person might not ever get over certain losses. But we can't allow grief to ruin relationships with the living people who love you. Life goes on. Other relationships need to be maintained. Getting stuck in grief is not healthy. It can actually snowball into more isolation and ruined relationships which leads to more loss and grief, which can lead to more isolation.
@@anapellegrini1764 Because people pity first and seek knowledge after. Everyone goes through this and I think it took me about the same amount of time to overcome my own grief. In my case though it was a loss of my grandfather, my dad hell even my dog and cats then finding out my mom had stage 3 cancer all within the span of 5 years. I still took my mom to all her chemo while going through funeral arrangements. The last thing I wanted was to be all alone after I had lost so much, so I did everything I could to help my mom beat cancer which they gave her only 5 yrs to live. To say she's beaten it and is stronger than ever is an understatement!
@@CajunReaper95 no, but like trauma, which grief can also be, you need to get help (which op seems to be doing so good on her for that). You absolutely have the right to grieve for as long as you need to, but that doesn't mean the people around you need to put up with crappy behavior. A friend of my mom's has been grieving the loss of one of her kids for 20 years and refuses to get help. It's ruined her relationship with her husband and all of her surviving kids. Another woman I know lost a baby and now all her other kids are screwed up from dealing with Munchhausen by proxy.
I am a runner. When I run in the neighborhood, I run on the street. Our sidewalk is concrete, but the road is asphalt. Asphalt is much easier on my joints than concrete. But, we are in a quiet neighborhood, and I move out of the way when I see any vehicle coming. It’s just courtesy. I would say common courtesy, but it doesn’t seem too common anymore.
The OP and karen's daughter doesn't wanna be together and karen wants HER to be with OP. That's kind of weird and OP and daughter isn't right for eachother.
Story two: I get it. Losing a parent sucks, I've been there. But after *3 years*, if you *still* can't function normally, you need professional help, and obviously, your therapist isn't cutting it. Look into professional grief counseling or something, before your inaction costs you your marriage.
I understand where you’re coming from but for some people losing a parent can actually give them a traumatic experience to the degree kind of like posttraumatic stress disorder it’s debilitating and it can be very hard to move past it I do agree that there is something psychologically going on if a person is still in this state after three years but the husband is totally insensitive in the wrong. I was physically and emotionally abused as a child and I actually suffer from PTSD myself and if someone were to say to me it’s been years since then get over it or you need to move past it, especially with the fact that I was not safe from age 9 to 15 or 16, I would be very upset. trauma can manifest in various different ways and her husband’s reaction to it was incredibly inappropriate and insensitive.
@LouisianaOutlaw I'm not telling them how long to grieve, I'm saying if it's too the point where it's severely effecting your life three way it is for OP, you need to actually do something to solve it. And obviously, their therapist isn't helping enough. My dad died 7 years ago, and I still grieve for him, but it doesn't effect my daily life to the point i have panic attacks.
@LouisianaOutlaw its not healthy for OP to be constantly grieving this severely, she needs more professional help. Like i said, there's grief councilors and support groups and stuff. Also, similar to OP, when my grandma died, my aunt went the whole "I must horde all their things as a for of grief" route. It almost led to her divorce, because her whole house was filled to the ceiling with grandma's stuff that she "just couldn't let go of".
@@CajunReaper95 you are right no one can tell someone how to grieve. However, if it is affecting their daily life and abilities they need professional help. If they refuse to find effective professional help then they cannot be surprised when they get people that either walk away or make the reactions the husband does in the story.
Story 2 - I agree with your husband. He was a bit rough, being angry, but not wrong. Life moves on a you have to as well. It may not be simple but it is inevitable.
True. From the sounds of it, OP has been in this constant state of grief for 3 whole years. That's extremely unhealthy and completely unfair to the husband. I get his reaction. Everyone dies at one point and you just gotta deal with that, even if it's rough.
I do agree in some ways but I think it's a middle ground in some ways the husband though yes he apologized shouldn't have yelled at her and the wife obviously has some issues that she needs to sort out and it isn't fair to the husband that he just has to deal with it But but!! Getting over the death of a love one especially a parent ( and a good parent that took care of you well and you had a great relationship with for that matter) would be hard to get over and I understand why she would be grieving for so long I mean yes it's unhealthy since it's been 3 years but everyone has a process and takes thing in different and she is working on it and trying to get better so its also not fair to just completely throw away the wife's feelings in this situation So grey him yelling despite knowing what she is going through and knowing she's trying to fix it is rude uncalled for and even if you're stressed there are better ways to handle a situation like that And the wife obviously needs to find ways to help her process her emotions better to help her get over the death of her mother
That karen trying to force them to date is like getting two industrial magnets both positive and trying to shove them together and screaming in rage wondering why it isn’t working.
I'm sorry for your loss too I think when he told you that you were being selfish maybe he needs to meet with your counselor or somebody to make him understand that it's not selfishness it's a feeling you can't control and that you're trying to learn to control it also keep in mind that no one can ever take your memories and your love for your mother away from you those are inside you the exterior things are just around you and also consider she would want you to move on and be happy but it would break her heart to see you so miserable keep working with your therapist and keep trying to move forward
The story about the "friends", I'm thinking that the parents have/are turning the friends into flying monkeys. It's another way for the parents to get info about op, and to hurt op.
Story 4: This reminds me of a near literal run in with of of the many running groups in my town, who apparently think the roads belong to them on Saturday mornings. I was driving to work one morning with the sun in my face making it hard to see. Even at the 25 mph speed limit it didn't give a lot of extra time to react due to the glare. Well one of these groups suddenly appears in front of me from out of the sun glare, running in my lane and towards me. Thankfully I was able to stop in time, and yes I had to come to a dead stop in the middle of the road while these entitled idiots ran around my car and hogging the entire lane. Only a small number of them were using the sidewalk, and I later saw some stragglers who ran across a busy intersection against both a red light and no crossing sign. The worst part was when I called the police, who did nothing about it. I have a scanner app on my phone and tuned in to listen. Apparently calling in this mob of runners who's dangerous actions almost got many of them plowed into isn't worth the time or attention of the police. When the officer was dispatched, he just radioed back that it was likely just one of the running groups (yes, but not the point of the call), and closed it without going to check on anything. I guess it'll take one of these groups given the Darrell Brooks treatment for anything to be done about it.
Sounds like you need to drive more carefully when the sun is in your eyes. Slowing down would help, if it seemed too sudden when they appeared to you. Just imagine if that was a car that was stopped for some reason. You would have ran into them, and it would have legally been your fault.
@@blondiemom25 the speed limit was 25, but I was going a bit under that and that was enough time to stop for most anything except something coming at you and creating a situation of a relative closing speed greater than I'd like. That's not a predictable situation. I will imagine it being a stopped car. I will imagine it being a larger object, thus easier to see. I will imagine the greater stopping time I'd have thanks to a roughly 25% reduced relative closing speed. I will imagine the zero personal harm that could result if I hit them. And I will imagine your comparison being a self defeating argument. How about I imagine it being a wrong way drunk driver going 40mph and hitting me head on. How slow should I be going in that situation for your idea of driving carefully? Or how about, I don't know... Having pedestrians use the pedestrian paths instead of going the wrong way in the middle of a road meant for vehicular traffic? Besides, I have well over a million miles under my belt with zero accidents or moving violations. I don't need to be lectured by random internet strangers on the topic of careful driving.
On the last story: I have 3 pieces of advice for the daughter. 1) talk to apartment management. Let them know what is going on. 2) Make a police report. This may not seem serious now but the more evidence you have, such as reports, the better you can protect your mother. 3) Get power of attorney over your mother's financial and medical. This way, Bob can not control her finances or her.
My american grandma died years ago I still miss her but it still hurts when she is brought up and then the dad of my dad died I just wanted to share my story , I already gotten over it
I lost my dog 5 years ago and I am still not over it, I cry a lot because I miss her, the only way I can cope with it is through my cat that my parents got for me 2 years after she passed. He is very similar to her in the way that they both will immediately try to comfort you when your sad. And they both love to sleep between your legs when your laying down. They both love being under blankets, they both love pets and scratches and they both get excited when it's time for food. I love how similar and yet unique he is when compared to her.
Story 2: I found this poem recently that goes “When you meet me you think I’m quiet, When you talk to me you wish I was quiet, When you know me You’re scared when I’m quiet.”
The last story: he's definitely trying to take advantage of the mother and she needs to be taken away asap , or OP needs to move in with her and keep her safe , because one day she will let him in and he will hurt her or weasle his way into being with her so he can abuse her.
Well, each one grieves differently... I lost my mom when I was ten few days before Christmas and that broke me for years... I get it. I wish people can be a little more sensitive about how people grieve... 3 years may seem like a long time but for grieving, it's just a short walk away. At the same time, it would help if we allowed ourselves to grieve for a time and maybe starting working towards getting better, seeking help and trying different things to cope. We can't just drop anchor on grief.
For me, that is the issue. Individuals can grieve as long as they want but they cannot allow it to affect their life and they cannot just drop anchor. Dropping anchor is unhealthy and letting it affect their life is unfair to the person grieving and those around them
Story 1, when the mother asked do you feel my daughter isn't pretty enough, a simple "she deserves someone better" would probably have defused the situation. Story 2, there is something called divorce, and while 3 years is a long time, psychology does not give a max time to stop grieving, because each person is different. Story 3, bottom line cut the friends out. Story 4, call the police, it makes it so much easier. Story 5, the guy was drunk and probably couldn't think about the extra fob. I have autistic kids, and not all autistic people are the same. Invite him for a coffee at a local place. Make small talk about your apartment building, this usually lets people drop your guard a bit. Bring up the situation in a tone that is non-jugemental, then ask if that was his intention? Then nicely ask him what he sees in your mom, explaining that the situation is confusing, then thank him for his time, and proceed accordingly in your actions, either being less or more diligent.
i know how the second one feels, i have a ring my aunt got me and i NEVER take it off except when i do certain things, and if i can't find it, i start to panic until i find it, the husband just basically apologized to try and cover his ass
Story 2: your husband is a complete jerk for saying that! You can't get over the death of your loved one. I say that as someone who lost their mom when I was a teenager (I'm 30 rn, I'll turn 31)
Imagine being a man and a young man, and someone says that you need to date their daughter, or they’re going to get you fired. What if you were gay with a boyfriend, it’s not even that farfetched for you to be married already.
Second story: Yes i lost my grandma to terminal cancer a few years ago and what he said isn’t cool. Thats not fair Just because he thinks it’s been enough time he cant say that, a mother is one of the most important things in life and 3 years isnt enough time to get over it
She's admitted being an hoarder and having several compulsions. The husband is a saint for putting up with all that for over 3 years. She can grieve all she wants but if she lets it ruin her life, then she can't act surprised when ppl get sick of it. She needs another therapist. Consider everything about her day to day life she's not saying.
Yea I think that the man upstairs is drunk and a stalker and probably if he gets going to do let’s say bad stuff to her so probably see if you can set up cameras
Story 2: i undertsand that losing a loved one is tough and takes time to be accepted, but 3 years? Thats when you seek professional help, and you going to a therapist should mean that it should have helped, but 3 years?
For the second story i think the op need a couple theraphy and ik when ppl are angry they sometimes forgot the situation so ik that the husband really dont know about that
Story 1: Why people like the Karen try to force people to both do something and to be with someone and put their jobs and/or their lives on the line in doing so, I'll never know.
I don't blame the husband frustration is frustration. He is trying to be there for her but she is shutting him out. And yes I do believe that clinging to grief for years is to much. And my saying this may upset people. But I like more and more people. Process grief faster, it doesn't mean that we don't care. It just doesn't affect me in the same way. So I don't say it it, but do feel that. If it has been a few years since someone passed away. Then it is time to move forward.
2 Story - OP's husband was extremely frustrated by the slow grieving process. It's THREE YEARS! Not three months or three days. The loss of a close parent is difficult but OP needs to start living, not dwelling in her past. Was it hurtful what her husband said to her? Yes. Does she know why he said those hurtful things? No, really does not.
Yeah it’s a little fine if you’re still grieving after 1 year or something. Someone in my class lost their Grandmother and even after 4 months i could not see any signs of sadness or anything like that. They could have been hiding it but they literally didn’t act much different. So, I disagree with the Narrator, yes the husband is a jerk for reacting like that but he had been dealing with her being sad for 3 years!
For the last story number one how do you know that the mom has money number two i think the guy was just trying to be sweet just because the world is full of bad people doesn’t mean that some people aren’t good i mean you said your mom was elderly and disabled I would go out of my way to help a sweet old lady especially one who is disabled
The 2nd story reminds of this one time of my mom and step dad fighting about the dogs managing to escape the backyard then the neighbors bring their dogs out at 3 am while we're trying to get our dogs making them fight and my step dad says that they will come back home then my mom mentions my step dads pittbull that died to a hit and run this was when my mom was not dating him I asked my mom who's dog was that she said it was my step dads I told her it was wrong for mentioning it she said I know I should not said that then they both said sorry to each other and yes its every night they agrue about shoes its so common that I can sleep so calm
Mom needs to stop trying to be a matchmaker it's not a good look. And saying that if you don't date her she's going to have you fired? How stupid can she be
Yeah he's absolutely right sometimes you can get over with in 2 weeks like me or it could take 2 years or you could never get over it I mean sometimes the loss of a relative could take an entire lifetime there's no set time and you're allowed to grieve and as long and as hard as you want
Oh that's bullshit. You can take time to grieve but at the end of the day you need to come to terms with it or get psychological help. She had THREE YEARS and rather put herself for her loved ones who are still alive she has chosen to wallow in her grief and destroyed her marriage. This is on her.
@@shanemcguire7333 it really sounds cruel but honestly people is not at fault that you ant get it together. My dad was brutally murdered this year and it was fairly traumatic. Yet life keeps going. I gotta continue living to build a life, I bet he prefered that instead of me mourning forever. And becoming a fckin burden to my loved ones
@@anapellegrini1764 I'm so sorry for you loss but your right. Life is equal parts joy and sorrow but it's our job to continue on with the happy memories to keep us going
@@shanemcguire7333 thanks. I didn't mean to say it in a way of like "your pain is less" or "if I can't why you can't" but in a way of... That's not a healthy way to deal with grief. And it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt awfully, it's traumatic and leaves scars, it's just that If you just throw yourself away you don't gain anything
Story 2, I get struggling with the loss of a loved one but given she was aware of the hoarding issue before this argument with her husband she really should have gotten help earlier. Not getting over the death of a loved one for three years was one thing but continuing to spiral into something worse, like an obsession and panic attacks is not something you should support, the husband could have put it better but he was right, she needed help to get over it
Story 2! Hell no! I'm gonna tell you right now I go into panic attacks when there are loud sounds. My husband needed my help with some metal work and I got overwhelmed and started having a panic attack. He understood and instead of tapping me cause my hands were over my ears he waved in front of my face and once I took my hands off my ears he embraced me and calmed me down before asking me if I could continue. That husband is inconsiderate and needs to go to therapy himself
You seek therapy. Loud sounds exist. Maybe put beware signs next to blenders and stay away from alarm clocks lmao In a normal functioning society, people are loud and quiet. Not Quiet and quiet. Sounds are waves and nothing happens in straight lines. You lost focus of the main argument and focused on the part relating to you and yourself only, which is called selfishness. The argument is about her and her grief over her late mother and the husbands handling of it. Guy was loud but not wrong. Read other comments here and see that defending permanent grief is a downward spiral to loss and more grief, and rare cases loss of your own life due to mass loss. People are both strong and more fragile than your "oh no a sound im scared" bullsheet. So again, seek therapy.
@@Triggart hey..... Dumbass...... It's called being autistic, having pstd from being raped and beaten, and not being able to deal with something's. On a normal day I am fine but stress causes it to flare up. The stress was I had just gotten in a wreck 20 min before. So please. Stay in your lane. All I was commenting on was the fact that she already had anxiety and he is not considerate about how her anxiety makes her feel
@@rosequartz9197 if someone cannot afford therapy then it is on them to find ways to help themselves. Society is not going to compensate for an individual’s issues. If they cannot handle it they need to fix it themselves or they are screwed
Story 1: BROOOOO WHY DID’T YOU TAKE IT so many people want something like this to happen to them( I know but come on try and see if see good but I have to say the way it started was bad but their all ways a way) who know maybe the next girl you meet may be that girl.
The Neighborhood driver sounds like a HOA kind of area so I can see this actually being a issue the Sidewalk is going through drive ways it's merged so it's section off
For story three why did you ask them to keep you updated if you didn't want to stay updated? they sent you pics and told you about the events because you told them to if you don't like it ask them to stop
*Story 2- Grief* I can understand missing a loved one you've lost but that doesn't make it ok to make another loved one suffer for it. Honestly the fact that he's putting up with everything, ESPECIALLY hoarding (which is extremely disrespectful to a spouse & grounds for divorce in my book) she really should be more grateful & understand that he has every right to fly off the handle occasionally because of what she's most likely putting HIM through. He was likely angry enough in the moment that he didn't notice her panicked state. The fact that he genuinely apologized & felt bad for what he said means he's STILL willing to endure it all. She needs to recognize that & start focusing more on her marriage rather than JUST herself because frankly her behavior is kinda selfish.
While the husband in the second story went a bit far, I wouldn’t paint him as “THE bad guy.” Because there was no bad people in that story. The wife has hoarded so much for so long over a 3 year period. And him sitting on a bed and it breaking caused her to have a panic attack just made him angry. As while grief is a horrible thing we must all go through, we can’t let it negatively affect the people we love. And I’m mad at the wife who is still angry at the husband without acknowledging her wrong doings. She should seek help and she is, but I hope she doesn’t ruin her relationship because of something like this. People seem to always side with the op unless they are blatantly in the wrong, but there is more to this than just a good side and bad side.
Story 1: I've read this stort before, so i started laughing the moment i heard about the segways. That being said, how dumb is this woman? Some people just cannot stand being told 'no', from both the OP and her own daughter. I could totally see this Karen setting her daughter up in an arranged marriage, with her attitude. At least the OP didn't back down when the Karen threatened to talk to his boss and get him fired. I always hate the "i'll get you fired" card too. So annoying. Story 2: Wow, that husband is a super jerk.... top 5 non-Karen jerk here. I get that everyone deals with grief differently, but that is 100% unacceptable and uncalled for. This certainly is not tough-love, that's something you say to your worst enemy. Story 3: Those "friends" are not friends in the slightest, and the parents (especially the mom) just suck too. They are either trying to make you jealous or wanting you to move back. I'd cut all of them out immediately. You don't need moles in your life. Story 4: Sidewalks exist for a reason.... as do car horns. This is how people get run over too..... and i'm sure a lot of people would too. Story 5: That neighbour is extremely weird and creepy. He's definitely trying to get in a position to take clear advantage of the OPs mom, knowing full-well of her ailments. There is a difference between being a concerned neighbour and being a major skuzz. I'd be very careful around this guy and id let the other neighbours know about him and his actions too.
If you think what he said to his wife in story 2 after 3 years of dealing with grief is something you say to your worst enemy you're going to hate going outside and dealing with people.
@@Triggart People are caught up in emotions though, they let the world slip and when the people they care about that still live pass too they won't be able to cope with it and probably become unstable and suicidal, it's unfortunate but we all have to just accept the bitter taste of reality when we lose those we love.
Story #2 The husband is a jerk. You can’t compare two peoples pain. My father did this to me as well. A very dear and close to me aunt passed away and I couldn’t get over it, it hadn’t passed 3 months when he tried to intervene in my grieving and told me he had lost both of his brothers and his father my grandfather. I was dumbfounded because how dare he compare his pain to mine.
I think it's not about the amount of time it takes to heal, it's about how her grief affects the husband's life as well. And 3 years of that is honestly way too much. I get how the OP feels but I honestly don't think it's fair to put someone else in that position
She's had three years to either come to terms or get help. Instead she becomes a Horder and puts all her problems on her husband. She needs to get her shit together or she's going to find herself divorced and I won't feel bad for her if that happens.
I would definitely take the neighbors actions as a head up and be extra aware however Maybe synthes 40 in your mom 70 maybe somehow she reminds him of his own mom hopefully it's something as simple as that but I still would be extra vigilant
- Second story is a tough one but sorry lady, you can't be a compulsive hoarder and freak out on him about something and then get mad if he responds in a way that isn't exactly perfectly aligned with your mental illness. I doubt she even considers his feelings and the annoyance that she is now holding his reaction to her as some huge deal when he has no doubt let you say and do some awful stuff to him and let it go is not right.
Maybe it's just me but I am HEAVILY uncomfortable with the fact in the 2nd story. Op said her husband has a tendency to be quite mean in the midst of his anger. Then gets progressively worse whenever she shuts down and gets quiet. I'm concerned more if this is a common occurence that he gets angry with almost insult to injury, even before the death or it was only after and slowly built up. Also it's not at all cool of anyone to imply a traumatic loss of a loved one isn't special. Trauma affects people very differently, yes 3 years is a lot of time but it was her mom. Also we can't claim the therapist isn't working because it's not specifically stated WHEN she truly had the energy to start with said therapist. Did she start a few weeks ago? Months? We can't say it was a longterm therapist even at the start of the first few weeks of her moms passing. Trauma can take years to truly unpack, work through and overcome it. Though I'm not at all claiming the husband is a bad person, but his behavior wasn't the best and yes Op does need to keep going. They definitely need more couple counseling or a true third party therapist to help.
story 2: I agree with you on every front. and everyone in the comments bad mouthing OP's grieving, please take that stick out of your ass and listen up. EVERYONE grieves differently. yes OP does need to work on her hoarding because from the sounds of it she's hoarding small things her mother just so happened to own which isn't healthy. BUT we have to remember that OP lost her MOTHER. someone who she, from the sounds of it again, was probably very close to. losing someone very close isn't the same as losing someone you talked to every so often. it can take years to get over the loss of a loved one. and I feel like people are using the fact that she's hoarding to defend the husband's absolutely DISGUSTING comment about her still being upset over her mother's death after just three years. because all things considered, three years isn't as long as you think it is when it has to do with a tragedy in your life. for example many people feel like 2020 was just last year, even I do sometimes. but frankly everyone bashing OP for grieving at all need to have a serious talk with themselves. or say this in public in front of loved ones and see what happens. I guarantee they'll think you're an ass. yes OP's coping isn't healthy for her or those around her and she's clearly working on it with a therapist. and the husband did apologize for what he said but I understand why OP doesn't like the apology. things like what he said can really cut deep and make people feel like a nuisance or like they're being overdramatic when 8-9/10 they're not. That should be all and thank you AITJ for seeing both sides in a proper way.
With the "date my daughter or be unemployed" story, I wouldn't be surprised if "Karin's" daughter started having much more organic feelings develop for the OP with the way he stood up to her mom and might have tried to look him up and ask him out the next year.
That would be too funny!!!😂😂😂
To the story of the woman who lost her mom I'm sorry for your lost, having anyone close to you pass away isn't emotion you should prevent but allow. To express the emotional impact of what they meant to you really shows how much you valued them. The other side isn't a topic most people would like to talk about,but at least know this that your mom can happily have no regrets at what she raised in the end YOU and even though she's not here she'll always watch you from the other side with a smile on her face that you remember with her in the past, stay strong and don't bottle those emotion
Story 1: The fact that she tried to force OP and her daughter into a relationship tells me she’s of the creepy variety of Karens.
It would be great to make friends with the daughter, she probably has many stories to share.
Right? I don't get why she would do that. Why anyone would do that. They're both teenagers, they shouldn't be forced to date one another. Talk about krazy karen mother! She should be forced out of the store and not allowed to return.
I’m not surprised by story 1 but that’s honestly kinda relatable to me too the embarrassment part my grandpa would embarrass me every chance he got trying to make jokes
Face gets red lol
I swear these Karens are even more insane day by day
yes
Story 1: I hope this isn’t how Karen gets *herself* dates.
Parents should never decide who their own kids date or not date. I've seen too many forced marriages in which the mother of the groom or the bride is very controlling and demands that they get their way. What's even worse is the mother or mother-in-law often will try to instigate arguments to ruin the mood especially on happier occasions.
@@steveboone1498 yeah i agree, they should learn that this isn't like the medieval times, also if the daughter's Karen mother is planning on selling her own flesh and blood later, then she'll be arrested for that.
About the second story- Yes, grieving a loss is hard and a person might not ever get over certain losses. But we can't allow grief to ruin relationships with the living people who love you. Life goes on. Other relationships need to be maintained. Getting stuck in grief is not healthy. It can actually snowball into more isolation and ruined relationships which leads to more loss and grief, which can lead to more isolation.
Exactly! Why is everyone defending the OP?
@@anapellegrini1764 Because people pity first and seek knowledge after. Everyone goes through this and I think it took me about the same amount of time to overcome my own grief. In my case though it was a loss of my grandfather, my dad hell even my dog and cats then finding out my mom had stage 3 cancer all within the span of 5 years. I still took my mom to all her chemo while going through funeral arrangements. The last thing I wanted was to be all alone after I had lost so much, so I did everything I could to help my mom beat cancer which they gave her only 5 yrs to live. To say she's beaten it and is stronger than ever is an understatement!
@@CajunReaper95 no, but like trauma, which grief can also be, you need to get help (which op seems to be doing so good on her for that). You absolutely have the right to grieve for as long as you need to, but that doesn't mean the people around you need to put up with crappy behavior. A friend of my mom's has been grieving the loss of one of her kids for 20 years and refuses to get help. It's ruined her relationship with her husband and all of her surviving kids. Another woman I know lost a baby and now all her other kids are screwed up from dealing with Munchhausen by proxy.
She should probably look into getting a better therapist, possibly EMDR since breaking a bedframe caused a panic attack
@@CajunReaper95 no one has the right to ruin other people's lifes because of grief.
Your Karen voices are the best 😂😂
Story 1: WTH???? I feel so bad for that young lady…. The employee handled it like a champ!!!
I am a runner. When I run in the neighborhood, I run on the street. Our sidewalk is concrete, but the road is asphalt. Asphalt is much easier on my joints than concrete. But, we are in a quiet neighborhood, and I move out of the way when I see any vehicle coming. It’s just courtesy. I would say common courtesy, but it doesn’t seem too common anymore.
I feel bad for the daughter in story 1
The OP and karen's daughter doesn't wanna be together and karen wants HER to be with OP.
That's kind of weird and OP and daughter isn't right for eachother.
I dont i feel bad for the guy
Can you imagine what she goes through with this woman?
@@Claudia-lq3ns embarrassment and shame
Story two: I get it. Losing a parent sucks, I've been there. But after *3 years*, if you *still* can't function normally, you need professional help, and obviously, your therapist isn't cutting it. Look into professional grief counseling or something, before your inaction costs you your marriage.
I understand where you’re coming from but for some people losing a parent can actually give them a traumatic experience to the degree kind of like posttraumatic stress disorder it’s debilitating and it can be very hard to move past it I do agree that there is something psychologically going on if a person is still in this state after three years but the husband is totally insensitive in the wrong.
I was physically and emotionally abused as a child and I actually suffer from PTSD myself and if someone were to say to me it’s been years since then get over it or you need to move past it, especially with the fact that I was not safe from age 9 to 15 or 16, I would be very upset. trauma can manifest in various different ways and her husband’s reaction to it was incredibly inappropriate and insensitive.
@LouisianaOutlaw I'm not telling them how long to grieve, I'm saying if it's too the point where it's severely effecting your life three way it is for OP, you need to actually do something to solve it. And obviously, their therapist isn't helping enough. My dad died 7 years ago, and I still grieve for him, but it doesn't effect my daily life to the point i have panic attacks.
@LouisianaOutlaw its not healthy for OP to be constantly grieving this severely, she needs more professional help. Like i said, there's grief councilors and support groups and stuff.
Also, similar to OP, when my grandma died, my aunt went the whole "I must horde all their things as a for of grief" route. It almost led to her divorce, because her whole house was filled to the ceiling with grandma's stuff that she "just couldn't let go of".
@@CajunReaper95 you are right no one can tell someone how to grieve. However, if it is affecting their daily life and abilities they need professional help. If they refuse to find effective professional help then they cannot be surprised when they get people that either walk away or make the reactions the husband does in the story.
EMDR might be a good place to start too since breaking a bedframe caused a panic attack
You have the best voice. Your Karen voice is freaking perfect lol
Its been almost 6 years since my dad died and i physically cannot sleep unless ive got his blanket.
2:31 🤣 That blast to reclaim first place
I lost a family friend during the summer me and my family still cry about him
Story 2 - I agree with your husband. He was a bit rough, being angry, but not wrong. Life moves on a you have to as well. It may not be simple but it is inevitable.
True. From the sounds of it, OP has been in this constant state of grief for 3 whole years. That's extremely unhealthy and completely unfair to the husband. I get his reaction. Everyone dies at one point and you just gotta deal with that, even if it's rough.
I do agree in some ways but I think it's a middle ground in some ways the husband though yes he apologized shouldn't have yelled at her and the wife obviously has some issues that she needs to sort out and it isn't fair to the husband that he just has to deal with it
But but!! Getting over the death of a love one especially a parent ( and a good parent that took care of you well and you had a great relationship with for that matter) would be hard to get over and I understand why she would be grieving for so long I mean yes it's unhealthy since it's been 3 years but everyone has a process and takes thing in different and she is working on it and trying to get better so its also not fair to just completely throw away the wife's feelings in this situation
So grey him yelling despite knowing what she is going through and knowing she's trying to fix it is rude uncalled for and even if you're stressed there are better ways to handle a situation like that
And the wife obviously needs to find ways to help her process her emotions better to help her get over the death of her mother
The second story..she admits shes a hoarder, there is a LOT more going on than she is saying. Sorry, but hes not the jerk
I would tell the Karen that my personal life is not of her business. And I'm 52 years old.
That karen trying to force them to date is like getting two industrial magnets both positive and trying to shove them together and screaming in rage wondering why it isn’t working.
Story 4: Just lay into the horn until she moves
The first one. Well done taking care of that Karen!
I'm sorry for your loss too I think when he told you that you were being selfish maybe he needs to meet with your counselor or somebody to make him understand that it's not selfishness it's a feeling you can't control and that you're trying to learn to control it also keep in mind that no one can ever take your memories and your love for your mother away from you those are inside you the exterior things are just around you and also consider she would want you to move on and be happy but it would break her heart to see you so miserable keep working with your therapist and keep trying to move forward
"fob" is a single word, not an acronym lol
Like fob watches used to be a thing too
This is not a Karen this is a wedding Karen
😂😂😂
The story about the "friends", I'm thinking that the parents have/are turning the friends into flying monkeys. It's another way for the parents to get info about op, and to hurt op.
From the second story I have no idea how you miss a panic attack. As someone with anxiety I know it is so obvious to see it
Karens NEVER learn their "lessons". Why do people ever think that they do?
Story 4: This reminds me of a near literal run in with of of the many running groups in my town, who apparently think the roads belong to them on Saturday mornings. I was driving to work one morning with the sun in my face making it hard to see. Even at the 25 mph speed limit it didn't give a lot of extra time to react due to the glare.
Well one of these groups suddenly appears in front of me from out of the sun glare, running in my lane and towards me. Thankfully I was able to stop in time, and yes I had to come to a dead stop in the middle of the road while these entitled idiots ran around my car and hogging the entire lane. Only a small number of them were using the sidewalk, and I later saw some stragglers who ran across a busy intersection against both a red light and no crossing sign.
The worst part was when I called the police, who did nothing about it. I have a scanner app on my phone and tuned in to listen. Apparently calling in this mob of runners who's dangerous actions almost got many of them plowed into isn't worth the time or attention of the police. When the officer was dispatched, he just radioed back that it was likely just one of the running groups (yes, but not the point of the call), and closed it without going to check on anything. I guess it'll take one of these groups given the Darrell Brooks treatment for anything to be done about it.
Sounds like you need to drive more carefully when the sun is in your eyes. Slowing down would help, if it seemed too sudden when they appeared to you. Just imagine if that was a car that was stopped for some reason. You would have ran into them, and it would have legally been your fault.
@@blondiemom25 the speed limit was 25, but I was going a bit under that and that was enough time to stop for most anything except something coming at you and creating a situation of a relative closing speed greater than I'd like. That's not a predictable situation.
I will imagine it being a stopped car. I will imagine it being a larger object, thus easier to see. I will imagine the greater stopping time I'd have thanks to a roughly 25% reduced relative closing speed. I will imagine the zero personal harm that could result if I hit them. And I will imagine your comparison being a self defeating argument. How about I imagine it being a wrong way drunk driver going 40mph and hitting me head on. How slow should I be going in that situation for your idea of driving carefully?
Or how about, I don't know... Having pedestrians use the pedestrian paths instead of going the wrong way in the middle of a road meant for vehicular traffic? Besides, I have well over a million miles under my belt with zero accidents or moving violations. I don't need to be lectured by random internet strangers on the topic of careful driving.
On the last story: I have 3 pieces of advice for the daughter. 1) talk to apartment management. Let them know what is going on. 2) Make a police report. This may not seem serious now but the more evidence you have, such as reports, the better you can protect your mother. 3) Get power of attorney over your mother's financial and medical. This way, Bob can not control her finances or her.
Story 2 just broke me apart thinking about my mom dying like her mom did in her childhood
Yeah because his job is to attend to customers not be a Matchmaker
My american grandma died years ago I still miss her but it still hurts when she is brought up and then the dad of my dad died I just wanted to share my story , I already gotten over it
My mother passed away on 9-11-01 (not in New York) and I am still not over it. I miss her every day
1; POOR GIRL
I lost my dog 5 years ago and I am still not over it, I cry a lot because I miss her, the only way I can cope with it is through my cat that my parents got for me 2 years after she passed.
He is very similar to her in the way that they both will immediately try to comfort you when your sad. And they both love to sleep between your legs when your laying down. They both love being under blankets, they both love pets and scratches and they both get excited when it's time for food.
I love how similar and yet unique he is when compared to her.
Story 2: I found this poem recently that goes “When you meet me you think I’m quiet, When you talk to me you wish I was quiet, When you know me You’re scared when I’m quiet.”
you can't force someone to get married to your son/ daughter.
Arranged marraiges....
The last story: he's definitely trying to take advantage of the mother and she needs to be taken away asap , or OP needs to move in with her and keep her safe , because one day she will let him in and he will hurt her or weasle his way into being with her so he can abuse her.
Well, each one grieves differently... I lost my mom when I was ten few days before Christmas and that broke me for years... I get it. I wish people can be a little more sensitive about how people grieve... 3 years may seem like a long time but for grieving, it's just a short walk away. At the same time, it would help if we allowed ourselves to grieve for a time and maybe starting working towards getting better, seeking help and trying different things to cope. We can't just drop anchor on grief.
For me, that is the issue. Individuals can grieve as long as they want but they cannot allow it to affect their life and they cannot just drop anchor. Dropping anchor is unhealthy and letting it affect their life is unfair to the person grieving and those around them
@@DanielGonzalez-qk6sd it's easier said then actually done for some people
Story 1, when the mother asked do you feel my daughter isn't pretty enough, a simple "she deserves someone better" would probably have defused the situation.
Story 2, there is something called divorce, and while 3 years is a long time, psychology does not give a max time to stop grieving, because each person is different.
Story 3, bottom line cut the friends out.
Story 4, call the police, it makes it so much easier.
Story 5, the guy was drunk and probably couldn't think about the extra fob. I have autistic kids, and not all autistic people are the same. Invite him for a coffee at a local place. Make small talk about your apartment building, this usually lets people drop your guard a bit. Bring up the situation in a tone that is non-jugemental, then ask if that was his intention? Then nicely ask him what he sees in your mom, explaining that the situation is confusing, then thank him for his time, and proceed accordingly in your actions, either being less or more diligent.
How in the frick do you try to get someone to date your daughter?
i'm sorry, it's not called an f-o-b, it's called a fob, like cob. Fob. that last story made me crazy 🤣
People in my city walk in the middle of road ride bikes against the flow of traffic and look at you like your the outsider
Someone is living in the medieval time
4th story: sounds like the entitled jogger is a scammer who fakes injuries form someone else's car.
No one is first besides AITJ
i know how the second one feels, i have a ring my aunt got me and i NEVER take it off except when i do certain things, and if i can't find it, i start to panic until i find it, the husband just basically apologized to try and cover his ass
Haha I remember when a friend's father wanted me to marry his daughter
Well that’s fucking weird. What is wrong with people. Frankly, if you don’t know someone very well, you don’t ask them to marry someone.
To Story 1 , he should have asked If she was going to pay for the condoms or If he should pull out
Second story op I think it's time for some couples therapy but I do feel sorry for I honestly don't think anyone truly get over losing a love one
"fob" rhymes with job and cob.
Story 2: your husband is a complete jerk for saying that! You can't get over the death of your loved one. I say that as someone who lost their mom when I was a teenager (I'm 30 rn, I'll turn 31)
Not going to lie, a little jealous that this dude has a mother literally throwing her daughter at him to date. 😂
Imagine being a man and a young man, and someone says that you need to date their daughter, or they’re going to get you fired. What if you were gay with a boyfriend, it’s not even that farfetched for you to be married already.
That first lady had to be on something
Second story:
Yes i lost my grandma to terminal cancer a few years ago and what he said isn’t cool. Thats not fair
Just because he thinks it’s been enough time he cant say that, a mother is one of the most important things in life and 3 years isnt enough time to get over it
She's admitted being an hoarder and having several compulsions. The husband is a saint for putting up with all that for over 3 years. She can grieve all she wants but if she lets it ruin her life, then she can't act surprised when ppl get sick of it. She needs another therapist. Consider everything about her day to day life she's not saying.
Yea I think that the man upstairs is drunk and a stalker and probably if he gets going to do let’s say bad stuff to her so probably see if you can set up cameras
Story 2: i undertsand that losing a loved one is tough and takes time to be accepted, but 3 years? Thats when you seek professional help, and you going to a therapist should mean that it should have helped, but 3 years?
The last one she's 90 what u doing bro
For the second story i think the op need a couple theraphy and ik when ppl are angry they sometimes forgot the situation so ik that the husband really dont know about that
I lost my grandma Betty like 6 years ago
everything has a time and a place when its done you need to move on and keep your head high!
Story 1: Why people like the Karen try to force people to both do something and to be with someone and put their jobs and/or their lives on the line in doing so, I'll never know.
My dad did the same thing to my mom when her mom my grandma passed away in March basically he said she should of been over it by now
I don't blame the husband frustration is frustration. He is trying to be there for her but she is shutting him out. And yes I do believe that clinging to grief for years is to much. And my saying this may upset people. But I like more and more people. Process grief faster, it doesn't mean that we don't care. It just doesn't affect me in the same way. So I don't say it it, but do feel that. If it has been a few years since someone passed away. Then it is time to move forward.
2 Story - OP's husband was extremely frustrated by the slow grieving process. It's THREE YEARS! Not three months or three days. The loss of a close parent is difficult but OP needs to start living, not dwelling in her past. Was it hurtful what her husband said to her? Yes. Does she know why he said those hurtful things? No, really does not.
Yeah it’s a little fine if you’re still grieving after 1 year or something. Someone in my class lost their Grandmother and even after 4 months i could not see any signs of sadness or anything like that. They could have been hiding it but they literally didn’t act much different. So, I disagree with the Narrator, yes the husband is a jerk for reacting like that but he had been dealing with her being sad for 3 years!
@@ThatStormTrooper1914 Honestly he wasn't a jerk. He was at the end of his rope and she'd best take heed before he says I'm done
For the last story number one how do you know that the mom has money number two i think the guy was just trying to be sweet just because the world is full of bad people doesn’t mean that some people aren’t good i mean you said your mom was elderly and disabled I would go out of my way to help a sweet old lady especially one who is disabled
The 2nd story reminds of this one time of my mom and step dad fighting about the dogs managing to escape the backyard then the neighbors bring their dogs out at 3 am while we're trying to get our dogs making them fight and my step dad says that they will come back home then my mom mentions my step dads pittbull that died to a hit and run this was when my mom was not dating him I asked my mom who's dog was that she said it was my step dads I told her it was wrong for mentioning it she said I know I should not said that then they both said sorry to each other and yes its every night they agrue about shoes its so common that I can sleep so calm
Mom needs to stop trying to be a matchmaker it's not a good look. And saying that if you don't date her she's going to have you fired? How stupid can she be
Yeah he's absolutely right sometimes you can get over with in 2 weeks like me or it could take 2 years or you could never get over it I mean sometimes the loss of a relative could take an entire lifetime there's no set time and you're allowed to grieve and as long and as hard as you want
Oh that's bullshit. You can take time to grieve but at the end of the day you need to come to terms with it or get psychological help. She had THREE YEARS and rather put herself for her loved ones who are still alive she has chosen to wallow in her grief and destroyed her marriage. This is on her.
What it's not fair is affecting others
@@shanemcguire7333 it really sounds cruel but honestly people is not at fault that you ant get it together. My dad was brutally murdered this year and it was fairly traumatic. Yet life keeps going. I gotta continue living to build a life, I bet he prefered that instead of me mourning forever. And becoming a fckin burden to my loved ones
@@anapellegrini1764 I'm so sorry for you loss but your right. Life is equal parts joy and sorrow but it's our job to continue on with the happy memories to keep us going
@@shanemcguire7333 thanks. I didn't mean to say it in a way of like "your pain is less" or "if I can't why you can't" but in a way of... That's not a healthy way to deal with grief. And it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt awfully, it's traumatic and leaves scars, it's just that If you just throw yourself away you don't gain anything
Hol'up im 15 about to senior in highschool. How tf is the dude in the first story 17 and still in junior 💀
Story 2, I get struggling with the loss of a loved one but given she was aware of the hoarding issue before this argument with her husband she really should have gotten help earlier. Not getting over the death of a loved one for three years was one thing but continuing to spiral into something worse, like an obsession and panic attacks is not something you should support, the husband could have put it better but he was right, she needed help to get over it
My mom was like that and took a lot since she couldn't get over my greatgrandma's death too, mostly since she raise her like a daughter.
Exactly
Last story I relate to. Something like that has happend to her once (she isn’t disabled or anything)
Story 2! Hell no! I'm gonna tell you right now I go into panic attacks when there are loud sounds. My husband needed my help with some metal work and I got overwhelmed and started having a panic attack. He understood and instead of tapping me cause my hands were over my ears he waved in front of my face and once I took my hands off my ears he embraced me and calmed me down before asking me if I could continue. That husband is inconsiderate and needs to go to therapy himself
You seek therapy. Loud sounds exist. Maybe put beware signs next to blenders and stay away from alarm clocks lmao
In a normal functioning society, people are loud and quiet. Not Quiet and quiet. Sounds are waves and nothing happens in straight lines. You lost focus of the main argument and focused on the part relating to you and yourself only, which is called selfishness. The argument is about her and her grief over her late mother and the husbands handling of it. Guy was loud but not wrong. Read other comments here and see that defending permanent grief is a downward spiral to loss and more grief, and rare cases loss of your own life due to mass loss. People are both strong and more fragile than your "oh no a sound im scared" bullsheet.
So again, seek therapy.
@@Triggartyou know a lot of people can’t afford therapy right?:/
@@Triggartand depending where you live, therapy can be hella expensive.
@@Triggart hey..... Dumbass...... It's called being autistic, having pstd from being raped and beaten, and not being able to deal with something's. On a normal day I am fine but stress causes it to flare up. The stress was I had just gotten in a wreck 20 min before. So please. Stay in your lane. All I was commenting on was the fact that she already had anxiety and he is not considerate about how her anxiety makes her feel
@@rosequartz9197 if someone cannot afford therapy then it is on them to find ways to help themselves. Society is not going to compensate for an individual’s issues. If they cannot handle it they need to fix it themselves or they are screwed
Ctr so many memories
No more "search cream of the stream on Spotify"?
this channel is so unbias not 1 shred of bias 1 of the reasons i love this channel
Fob. It's a fob, not an F.O.B., which is a shipping term. :)
Story 1: BROOOOO WHY DID’T YOU TAKE IT so many people want something like this to happen to them( I know but come on try and see if see good but I have to say the way it started was bad but their all ways a way) who know maybe the next girl you meet may be that girl.
Bro didnt listen to aku aku when he was playing crash team racing
The Neighborhood driver sounds like a HOA kind of area so I can see this actually being a issue the Sidewalk is going through drive ways it's merged so it's section off
For story three why did you ask them to keep you updated if you didn't want to stay updated? they sent you pics and told you about the events because you told them to if you don't like it ask them to stop
Story 3: Family is overrated
*Story 2- Grief* I can understand missing a loved one you've lost but that doesn't make it ok to make another loved one suffer for it. Honestly the fact that he's putting up with everything, ESPECIALLY hoarding (which is extremely disrespectful to a spouse & grounds for divorce in my book) she really should be more grateful & understand that he has every right to fly off the handle occasionally because of what she's most likely putting HIM through. He was likely angry enough in the moment that he didn't notice her panicked state. The fact that he genuinely apologized & felt bad for what he said means he's STILL willing to endure it all. She needs to recognize that & start focusing more on her marriage rather than JUST herself because frankly her behavior is kinda selfish.
While the husband in the second story went a bit far, I wouldn’t paint him as “THE bad guy.” Because there was no bad people in that story. The wife has hoarded so much for so long over a 3 year period. And him sitting on a bed and it breaking caused her to have a panic attack just made him angry. As while grief is a horrible thing we must all go through, we can’t let it negatively affect the people we love. And I’m mad at the wife who is still angry at the husband without acknowledging her wrong doings. She should seek help and she is, but I hope she doesn’t ruin her relationship because of something like this. People seem to always side with the op unless they are blatantly in the wrong, but there is more to this than just a good side and bad side.
I like the stories, but is that Crash Nitro Kart in the background ?
Story 1: I've read this stort before, so i started laughing the moment i heard about the segways. That being said, how dumb is this woman? Some people just cannot stand being told 'no', from both the OP and her own daughter. I could totally see this Karen setting her daughter up in an arranged marriage, with her attitude. At least the OP didn't back down when the Karen threatened to talk to his boss and get him fired. I always hate the "i'll get you fired" card too. So annoying.
Story 2: Wow, that husband is a super jerk.... top 5 non-Karen jerk here. I get that everyone deals with grief differently, but that is 100% unacceptable and uncalled for. This certainly is not tough-love, that's something you say to your worst enemy.
Story 3: Those "friends" are not friends in the slightest, and the parents (especially the mom) just suck too. They are either trying to make you jealous or wanting you to move back. I'd cut all of them out immediately. You don't need moles in your life.
Story 4: Sidewalks exist for a reason.... as do car horns. This is how people get run over too..... and i'm sure a lot of people would too.
Story 5: That neighbour is extremely weird and creepy. He's definitely trying to get in a position to take clear advantage of the OPs mom, knowing full-well of her ailments. There is a difference between being a concerned neighbour and being a major skuzz. I'd be very careful around this guy and id let the other neighbours know about him and his actions too.
If you think what he said to his wife in story 2 after 3 years of dealing with grief is something you say to your worst enemy you're going to hate going outside and dealing with people.
@@Triggart People are caught up in emotions though, they let the world slip and when the people they care about that still live pass too they won't be able to cope with it and probably become unstable and suicidal, it's unfortunate but we all have to just accept the bitter taste of reality when we lose those we love.
I just wanted to say... Happy christmas! ^^!
You say you really don’t wanna date me? like I understand I’m not the best looking guy around but REALLY don’t.
Story #2 The husband is a jerk. You can’t compare two peoples pain. My father did this to me as well. A very dear and close to me aunt passed away and I couldn’t get over it, it hadn’t passed 3 months when he tried to intervene in my grieving and told me he had lost both of his brothers and his father my grandfather. I was dumbfounded because how dare he compare his pain to mine.
I think it's not about the amount of time it takes to heal, it's about how her grief affects the husband's life as well. And 3 years of that is honestly way too much. I get how the OP feels but I honestly don't think it's fair to put someone else in that position
She's had three years to either come to terms or get help. Instead she becomes a Horder and puts all her problems on her husband. She needs to get her shit together or she's going to find herself divorced and I won't feel bad for her if that happens.
@@shanemcguire7333 I agree with you
I would definitely take the neighbors actions as a head up and be extra aware however Maybe synthes 40 in your mom 70 maybe somehow she reminds him of his own mom hopefully it's something as simple as that but I still would be extra vigilant
- Second story is a tough one but sorry lady, you can't be a compulsive hoarder and freak out on him about something and then get mad if he responds in a way that isn't exactly perfectly aligned with your mental illness. I doubt she even considers his feelings and the annoyance that she is now holding his reaction to her as some huge deal when he has no doubt let you say and do some awful stuff to him and let it go is not right.
yo hes playing crash team racing
duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Maybe it's just me but I am HEAVILY uncomfortable with the fact in the 2nd story. Op said her husband has a tendency to be quite mean in the midst of his anger. Then gets progressively worse whenever she shuts down and gets quiet. I'm concerned more if this is a common occurence that he gets angry with almost insult to injury, even before the death or it was only after and slowly built up. Also it's not at all cool of anyone to imply a traumatic loss of a loved one isn't special. Trauma affects people very differently, yes 3 years is a lot of time but it was her mom. Also we can't claim the therapist isn't working because it's not specifically stated WHEN she truly had the energy to start with said therapist. Did she start a few weeks ago? Months? We can't say it was a longterm therapist even at the start of the first few weeks of her moms passing. Trauma can take years to truly unpack, work through and overcome it. Though I'm not at all claiming the husband is a bad person, but his behavior wasn't the best and yes Op does need to keep going. They definitely need more couple counseling or a true third party therapist to help.
wherever you got the CTR footage the player is pretty bad (sorry if its you 😬)
12:25
story 2: I agree with you on every front. and everyone in the comments bad mouthing OP's grieving, please take that stick out of your ass and listen up. EVERYONE grieves differently. yes OP does need to work on her hoarding because from the sounds of it she's hoarding small things her mother just so happened to own which isn't healthy. BUT we have to remember that OP lost her MOTHER. someone who she, from the sounds of it again, was probably very close to. losing someone very close isn't the same as losing someone you talked to every so often. it can take years to get over the loss of a loved one. and I feel like people are using the fact that she's hoarding to defend the husband's absolutely DISGUSTING comment about her still being upset over her mother's death after just three years. because all things considered, three years isn't as long as you think it is when it has to do with a tragedy in your life. for example many people feel like 2020 was just last year, even I do sometimes. but frankly everyone bashing OP for grieving at all need to have a serious talk with themselves. or say this in public in front of loved ones and see what happens. I guarantee they'll think you're an ass. yes OP's coping isn't healthy for her or those around her and she's clearly working on it with a therapist. and the husband did apologize for what he said but I understand why OP doesn't like the apology. things like what he said can really cut deep and make people feel like a nuisance or like they're being overdramatic when 8-9/10 they're not. That should be all and thank you AITJ for seeing both sides in a proper way.