Quitting Black Excellence & Finding freedom w/ Roshida Dowe and Stephanie Perry | ExodUS Summit 2023

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  • Опубліковано 28 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 81

  • @demi5378
    @demi5378 9 місяців тому +4

    So wish you ladies were around when I was growing up! My path would have opened up. I subscribed to the American dream & 60 years later here I am. After finding Stephanie a yearish ago & listening to the other ladies my mindset has changed. My husband & I will retire soon. In the planning process to travel & find our place in the sun. 🎉 God says the same.

  • @Heypreppy777
    @Heypreppy777 Рік тому +61

    “You don’t earn your way to value, you are enough”. Amen to you ladies👍👍

  • @sylmanyeki9323
    @sylmanyeki9323 Рік тому +14

    Im experiencing burnout now to the point of tears!!! Help

  • @LetsTalkAboutItWithMara
    @LetsTalkAboutItWithMara Рік тому +44

    I love Stephanie’s and Roshida friendship 🫶🏾💕

  • @soulnspired
    @soulnspired Рік тому +35

    Around 2003 I started saying the 5 day work week was stupid and no one wanted to hear me. I tried to work for myself then before I got my first professional job. I did everything i could to avoid the office with my job by staying out in the field shopping (usually basics) and moving about as i liked (I worked at a University in research and rehabilitation). It still wasnt enough because the job was stressful and result numbers driven and this went on for years. I used to lie about where I was just so I could have some time to myself. I was a poor college graduate with student loan debt and worries about basic stuff in life. While everyone else was traving to Africa because they had the money and support I was just trying to make ends meet. This went on for years. Too many years!

    • @KayleneRomero-oz7yz
      @KayleneRomero-oz7yz Рік тому +10

      Understandable, I knew things were bad when I kept trying to get bereavement days off so that I could tend to my mental health. I felt bad about this, but didn't know what else to do because I was mentally falling apart!

    • @barbarabuford5795
      @barbarabuford5795 Рік тому +5

      I was worn out and tired. My chest had started hurting, so much pressure, so I quit my job. Got other jobs but was burnt out, wondering what I was going to do. My brother told me, I'll Never forget, "Barbara, u r retirement age, why don't u apply for your Social Security!". I'm So glad I did- OUT of the Rat Race! ♥️. I firmly believe 'That' stopped a heart attack! Now, I may not have everything I want, but God has surely given me Everything I Need, and I'm grateful. I would Love an RV but finances says No. One day I might just save up and rent one for a day but that can be rather pricey, especially when some say a minimum of 3 days, etc! But I realize I'm So Blessed, I dodged a bullet! ♥️🙏

    • @kysadaniels3388
      @kysadaniels3388 Рік тому +3

      @solinspired4428, like you, I've long advocated for a shorter work week. It's coming. Maybe not in time for me, but it's coming. I'm a 57-year-old sorority "girl" who was raised under the Black Excellence banner ... and I too work in the university setting. I commit each day to not overworking myself for the sake of ... what? So not worth it. I'm determined that my later years will be my greater years. I wish the same for you!

  • @soulnspired
    @soulnspired Рік тому +25

    We've been told we have to pay dues. Yes Roshida freedom is doing what my body is asking me to do! Not just pushing through.

  • @barbarabuford5795
    @barbarabuford5795 Рік тому +5

    The Freedom to 'Not' engage, I Love this! I tell other seniors, if it really bothers you, people constantly calling, Scam calls, health Insurance agents calling u 20 times a day, etc.- HANG UP! This is Your phone, you pay the bill, and can speak to whomever YOU please!

  • @piscespret3456
    @piscespret3456 Рік тому +1

    The fear is what I'm living now.....❤🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾❤

  • @kailisanderson6686
    @kailisanderson6686 8 місяців тому +2

    My first therapist was an old Irish woman, she was the absolute best!!

  • @yourdreamstrategist
    @yourdreamstrategist Рік тому +8

    Ok, my favorite statement - Roshida Dowe said "Our dial is set to lack rather than abundance." It is and it's time to CHANGE that! It's time to stop prioritizing money over everything. We are literally sacrificing - our health, our partners & kids, our joy, our peace of mind - all the things that are so much more important than making money to be Black Excellence, to prove our worth to people who will never actually acknowledge and for WHAT?!?!? Nahhhh!
    Money should be the TOOL, not the goal. That's the freedom I'm building in my life!
    As Stephanie says I'm making space "for my whole person to BLOOM".

  • @breezluize3282
    @breezluize3282 Рік тому +38

    (Twice the work, half the rewards.) "European math." Yes, Stephanie!

    • @LuvvMyBrownSkin
      @LuvvMyBrownSkin Рік тому +9

      Yep@breezluize! That's that European math that slavery (capitalism) was built on! Let all the peons do all the work while they sit at the top and reap all the benefits.

  • @LuvvMyBrownSkin
    @LuvvMyBrownSkin Рік тому +14

    First of all I want to say, Alicia - you are such a beautiful, beautiful human being and your light shines so incredibly brightly! I am so excited to see what the future holds for you. You are most definitely walking in your purpose and living your truth by being honest with yourself and by being honest about the things that you see in the world around you. Thank you for being a truth-teller and thank you for being brave enough to be so open, honest and transparent. That's one of the hardest things to do. It's so much less risky to just look away and follow the status quo and spend our entire lives squeezing ourselves into spiritually crippling boxes that this greedy, racist system has created for us to exist in. It's so affirming and empowering to see you and other women taking that risk and showing us that there is a different way to be in the world.
    Stephanie and Roshida, you are definitely two very powerful voices and I love the work that you are both doing. You made some very poignant points today.
    Like Roshida, I am from the Caribbean and I am all too familiar with the pride that comes with overworking one's self, especially as women. It's like you aren't a "real woman" unless you're working two jobs, while simultaneously going to nursing school, raising three children and single-handedly maintaining a home like Martha Stewart! That is nothing but overcompensation for being a black woman in the world. We are raised to believe that we have to the superwoman in order to measure up and be deemed worthy to exist, which is absolute madness and rubbish! My worth is NOT determined by my colonizers or by people who buy into the narrative they have created and I don't have to play by their rules.
    I applaud you ladies for being so brave and for empowering other black woman to break free of that inferiority mindset and be the authors of their own lives.❤

  • @ericadinerotv
    @ericadinerotv Рік тому +6

    Ohh I hate I missed this!! Here for the replay ❤

  • @aimeepaterson4423
    @aimeepaterson4423 Рік тому +7

    YES, Stephanie Perry; You All Look GOOOD!!!❣️❣️❣️

  • @thetwinspuppetshow71
    @thetwinspuppetshow71 Рік тому +4

    Those glasses is on point with ur hair & looks!!!

  • @barbarabuford5795
    @barbarabuford5795 Рік тому +3

    Just starting, this is So interesting! Have never met anyone, not that I've asked, who were a part of that Jack and Jill scene!

  • @Yassss-rj9zf
    @Yassss-rj9zf Рік тому +5

    Mind blown 🤯

  • @lineaostri
    @lineaostri Рік тому +13

    Very good live. I enjoyed it! I quit my job on Friday. I haven't felt this much joy in 10 years. I'm excited about what the future holds, and I have you ladies to thank because all your videos inspired me.

  • @nomadiccarro
    @nomadiccarro Рік тому +9

    I can be who I want to be despite what society seems fit. So amazing to be free!!!

  • @Refreshing_Words
    @Refreshing_Words Рік тому +5

    Watching the replay. Love all of you. ❤

  • @bebois2529
    @bebois2529 Рік тому +20

    Love you ladies and thank u for all you do... Your content has helped navigate me out of an extremely toxic work phase of my life...

  • @barbarabuford5795
    @barbarabuford5795 Рік тому +3

    Alecia, I love your guests! They are SO interesting and Well grounded, comfortable with themselves and what they can offer to others! And I love the way you all Encourage and Applaud one another! It's NOT the lie that people say about Black people! I'm not seeing a tearing down, but a Building Up, and it's Beautiful, the way it SHOULD Be! May God Bless you young women who have found something special, A Sense of Family and Unity! 👍♥️

  • @sandrarobinson4448
    @sandrarobinson4448 Рік тому +14

    This session was pure goodness. It was an absolute balm to my spirit. ❤

  • @notthatvashti8127
    @notthatvashti8127 Рік тому +6

    I don't catch a lot of lives, but I wish I had been there for this one. All of you ladies are so vibrant and real. The Black excellence culture is such a divisive one. The work that you all are doing is so inclusive and so needed. Where would we be without wonderful people like yourselves trying to instill into Black women, knowing your worth, seeking fulfillment outside of the mainstream, and taking care of ourselves? KUDOS ladies, you are a blessing!!
    Sorry Alecia, I do own a Black Girl Magic tee. I have reframed and added my own definition to what BGM is for me. Cheers!

  • @edithdonaldson9483
    @edithdonaldson9483 Рік тому +9

    Yes y’all look especially Good and Beautiful bc you’re sharing your life of freedom your way, which has brought you Tremendous Joy, And it continues to give you Joy to share w/ black women.
    How do I say Thank You in English that doesn’t have the depth & width of those small words. Thank you Sis-Stars ✨🌟💫⭐️💝

  • @ashpiredliving
    @ashpiredliving Рік тому +4

    These 3 yasssssss🎉❤❤❤❤

  • @happygucci5094
    @happygucci5094 Рік тому +1

    I flipping LOVED this!!!!!!!!!!
    💗💗💗💗💗💗💗🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

  • @jeanine9
    @jeanine9 Рік тому +3

    Good to see all three of you together.

  • @moniquetremblay4765
    @moniquetremblay4765 Рік тому +13

    ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤whew! I love, love this dialogue. The transparency and honesty is candid. You can quit things and quit people and jobs that no longer serve you. I love your FREEDOM❤❤I love you speak about REST!! I truly needed this on a Friday ! You guys get all my Friday Finger snaps❤❤❤❤❤❤❤thank you

  • @adriannademadriguera4859
    @adriannademadriguera4859 Рік тому +2

    perfection. thank you, ladies. blessings to all of you.

  • @thetwinspuppetshow71
    @thetwinspuppetshow71 Рік тому +5

    This was soooo good!!! Wished you’ll was around early in my life! I now have 10 months left for retirement.

  • @vision4women
    @vision4women Рік тому +6

    Ladies thanks for sharing. I wish I could attend the summit but unfortunately I don’t have the funds to sign up.

  • @HolisticManifesting
    @HolisticManifesting Рік тому +2

    I rarely get a black female therapist. I already know what they're going to do and say. I love to see how other cultures think about the same issues. It can be eye-opening. ❤

  • @quietstorm677
    @quietstorm677 Рік тому

    Preach Stephanie

  • @aimeepaterson4423
    @aimeepaterson4423 Рік тому +3

    Thank You Alecia. Lovely To See You Again! Have a Fabulous Day!🌹

  • @MunificentMe
    @MunificentMe Рік тому +2

    I love this conversation!!!

  • @peacefuljoy1197
    @peacefuljoy1197 Рік тому +1

    This conversation is so inspiring and liberating

  • @nomadiccarro
    @nomadiccarro Рік тому +3

    This conversation is so good!!!

  • @colinemills9139
    @colinemills9139 Рік тому +2

    Omg. I can’t believe I just stumbled upon this discussion! I just started sending this to my loved ones like crazy. Thank you. I should have just said I wanted freedom! Lol. I’ve been free for the past 2 years with a nagging sense of ‘guilt that should have been there but wasn’t’. Thank you ladies.

  • @virtualcreativecollaborations
    @virtualcreativecollaborations Рік тому +2

    ♥️ Beautiful Blessings

  • @LMae-rj9qi
    @LMae-rj9qi Рік тому

    Oh my! I needed to see this discussion. I have been in total peace for months now. Then this organization that I interviewed with two years ago sent me an invitation to re-apply for another one of their worrisome positions. I've been going back and forth about whether to apply. Then, today, this video comes up. I think I know the answer. I'm staying with the restful life I have even if I see other black women moving forward. I've had my time taking orders. It's my time to do ME!

  • @HostileEnchanter9788
    @HostileEnchanter9788 Рік тому +2

    I love this mindset, topic and possibilities!! ❤❤❤

  • @LMae-rj9qi
    @LMae-rj9qi Рік тому

    22:09 - 23:13 - We don't earn our way to value. That part!

  • @AliciaOgburn-yv6cu
    @AliciaOgburn-yv6cu 8 місяців тому

    ❤We sure do ❤

  • @kriskarlaonline
    @kriskarlaonline 8 місяців тому

    Such an empowering video - love this entire discussion. ❤

  • @kandicesmith2841
    @kandicesmith2841 Рік тому +1

    Thank you

  • @teatodd2
    @teatodd2 Рік тому +8

    This was great! Thanks Themis for posting in the community tab. Love this type of content 💛

  • @HERJourney2Freedom
    @HERJourney2Freedom Рік тому

    ❤ I caught this post ES, but it still had so many jewels! I took notes😊

  • @nelliehyder8303
    @nelliehyder8303 Рік тому

    So inspirational. Food for thought. Food for action! Thanks for sharing.

  • @gaylesanders1860
    @gaylesanders1860 Рік тому

    ❤❤Love this conversation!

  • @cinnamongirl7519
    @cinnamongirl7519 Рік тому +2

    I love this conversation!! ❤️

  • @nalignmentwlifehealinglife
    @nalignmentwlifehealinglife Рік тому +1

    Oh nice! I love that you are collabing with these two powerhouses! Congrats!

  • @Dee-oq5ms
    @Dee-oq5ms Рік тому +3

    Yes!!! I understand the medical school thing as a nurse its so annoying to be around ppl in the medical field at times.

    • @Yassss-rj9zf
      @Yassss-rj9zf Рік тому +7

      Fellow nurse here 22yrs in and I AM OVER IT! I’ve been burned out for at least 10yrs. Now that I’ve found this platform and see that I have a choice for myself. I am paying off credit cards, student loans, saving and investing. In 4 years I’m ✈️✈️

  • @TiffJ
    @TiffJ Рік тому +1

    This was such a critical and GOODT conversation. 🙏🏾🙏🏾

  • @denisenoles3159
    @denisenoles3159 Рік тому +5

    You ask amazing questions & you exude warmth. Thank you for this episode!

  • @mommadrew9392
    @mommadrew9392 Рік тому

    Yes you are shining and looking doggone good. Just for saying and believing what you say is Black Excellence Naturally. Automatic having power without trying to have it.

  • @MarilynB-MariLuv
    @MarilynB-MariLuv Рік тому +2

    Didn't know it was labeled as black excellence. So I rejected it in pre-teens or maybe earlier. I didn't want to follow what was labeled for black people, females, or ???. I was always curious, wanting to know more, plus I wasn't stressful or pressured from family. I was given choices, right or wrong. Raised in household with grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, and cousins in black, native American family & extended. Of course, there were boundaries. I was born with an old soul, as my family member told me. In my mind is "WHAT IF..??,...

  • @LMae-rj9qi
    @LMae-rj9qi Рік тому

    13:40 - That part!

  • @barbarabuford5795
    @barbarabuford5795 Рік тому +1

    Wow, they don't give u half as much so 'Give Them half as much'! They will just step over u as though u don't matter anyway! That analogy of the graduation with the hardworking lady passing out, and people ignoring the situation, tragic but typical! I always say, you aren't an absolute necessity, if u leave, u WILL be replaced! Go ahead and Live your life, Yes you can leave and find something BETTER that gives you Peace!!

  • @wherebeautymeetswellness
    @wherebeautymeetswellness Рік тому

    This has blessed my soul!!!

  • @TheRepatDiaries
    @TheRepatDiaries Рік тому +3

    Beautiful ladies! Do you all have children and spouses?

  • @dorashelton1615
    @dorashelton1615 Рік тому

    Thank You ❤️ Alicia. I would like to attend the Summit. 😮 I need the Inspiration and Action.

  • @Hannah-y2z
    @Hannah-y2z Рік тому +2

    noooo, I missed the stream

  • @gayanngodfrey2824
    @gayanngodfrey2824 11 місяців тому

    The life I want to live…

  • @HolisticManifesting
    @HolisticManifesting Рік тому

    Very nice, would like to see some testimonials from moms with school-aged children. ❤

  • @christinec.2376
    @christinec.2376 Рік тому +2

    i vote we loose the term "girl" and stick with women, as girls denote immaturity, and "they" are quick to refer to us as girl. only women can go thru and rise above our circumstances in our histories, and to land in this real freedom. thank you, Exodus Summit team.

  • @MonaLisa-ww3ys
    @MonaLisa-ww3ys Рік тому +3

    Its so funny. I keep on telling my peers I need to see a white therapist because I need to operate on their level of thinking...
    I'm so glad that my current boss is a young white woman. She doesn't expect much from a BLACK woman. I'm I'm not trying to prove her wrong...

  • @jeanine9
    @jeanine9 Рік тому +3

    Based on white ideas. Good point.

  • @WorkoutorWorkin
    @WorkoutorWorkin Рік тому +12

    I think Roshida was very much exposed to ideals and values of "Black Excellence"...just maybe not the classism side of it in The US.

    • @josiektv1681
      @josiektv1681 Рік тому

      She was born in the UK raised in the US by Jamaican parents. Her mom, a strong woman was a nurse and a Lawyer

  • @christinec.2376
    @christinec.2376 Рік тому

    ..not magic. the muscle of perseverance has been toned, as it were, thru out our lifetimes, "a hard way to go, and a short time to get there" in a system built for or failure. sorry that the term bothers me, I just think if it was really "black girl magic", our lives would've easy, and these wonderful platforms unneccesary. jus sayin