“She Said I Needed To Learn a Lesson”
Вставка
- Опубліковано 8 чер 2024
- 💵 Stop money mistakes - budget for free with EveryDollar - ter.li/ui4ygc
📞 Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET or send us a message - www.ramseysolutions.com/shows...
🏦 Take Your 3-Minute Money Assessment - ter.li/fi5xhh
Explore More Shows from Ramsey Network:
🎙️ The Ramsey Show ⮕ ter.li/rqwdws
🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour ⮕ ter.li/tmj3vq
🧠 The Dr. John Delony Show ⮕ ter.li/s5yazz
💰 George Kamel ⮕ ter.li/dc2gee
💡 The Rachel Cruze Show ⮕ ter.li/a6emrr
💼 The Ken Coleman Show - Highlights ⮕ ter.li/v8n4u8
📈EntrLeadership ⮕ ter.li/g7s9g0
Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy
www.ramseysolutions.com/compa...
This gal ain't telling the whole story
Amen!!! the longer this interview went, the more “whiny” her voice got. Don’t buy her BS
Saying “to escape a toxic relationship” in the most robotic rehearsed way possible
Trickle truthing.
She ain't saying the whole story. Something is off on her narrative.
The answer to every question in the first two minutes is drugs
Of course they know that she is lying. That is why they want to hook her up with the church and they will figure what is really going on and try to help
This does not sound like the whole story and that grandma is feed up with her.
Didn’t want to say dr*gs on air, maybe
yeah where did these free kids come from? She could have dealt with it in Illinois.
@@drtij_dzienz My bet was on that, too. My wondering was whether she might even have been fired from that job and isn't mentioning that part.
Worked in a school, one of our parents and her kids became homeless.
BUT her oldest son was in Boy Scouts and became an Eagle Scott!
Local newspaper covered the boy, then found the family.
She got a job, an apartment, help just poured in.
Homeless, but her son made Eagle Scout!
She even had some marriage proposals.
Lutherans are nice!
I think "need to learn a lesson" might be a euphemism for "need to stop doing drugs." Most likely reason grandma allows the kids but not her is that the kids aren't bringing drugs into her house.
or maybe she's always in and out of abusive relationships, in which case, she needs to start choosing better.
I'm shocked that they did not give the grandmother any Grace without knowing the full story. Actually I'm not shocked this is par for the course for this show. The panel could do a little bit better.
@@markthecre8torThe grandmother? Not sure what you mean, they didn't say anything bad about the grandmother.
Something's missing. $20/hr 40hrs/week is $41,600. She said $28,800, and living in Indiana with 3 kids, her after-tax income would be significantly higher than that. There would also be government aid (housing , food, childcare) for her family as well.
Also, consider why her grandmother (or mother) would kick her out saying she needs to make better choices. Addiction, illicit activity, child neglect? It's unlikely that money is her problem.
Exactly what I was thinking
After tax income would not be 41. It would be closer to 28. In Canada anyways not sure what taxes are like in the states.
And can’t speak on the baby thing how much government aids in those. And government aid if I had to guess wouldn’t help people making $20/hr.
And if the government were that good at helping then the homeless issue wouldn’t be an issue
@@Hollydudd As a head of household with 3 children on an income of $41,600, she would pay no federal income tax at all. She'd pay the 7.65% for Social Security/Medicare on the full $41,600. Then 3.15% Indiana income tax on her taxable income of $19,700, so she should be earning over $37K after taxes. She might be paying healthcare premiums or something from her paycheck, though, and she probably doesn't actually have custody of the children.
Dave Ramsey's kindness is heart rendering..makes me a Ramsey supporter!
With 3 children, her total taxes ( social security, etc, only)would be in the 10% range and she would get that all back plus thousands in child tax credits and earned income credits avery year at tax time.
Alright, now let's get grandma on the phone so we can hear the whole story from grandma's perspective. We're not getting all the details from this caller 📞👵🏻
A toxic relationship does not answer why grams won't open the door for her 24/7
Why on earth Dave is criticizing the grandma? She has already taken in the 3 kids. Not sure what else you want her to do.
I think I need to listen to that call again. It did not sound to me like Dave was all that critical of grandma, though grandma's response by not taking in the granddaughter seems extreme. Few people are mentioning the caller's parents: Why is the caller not seeking a place to stay with her parents?
@@user-mv9tt4st9k Probably doesn't have parents on the scene, which is why we're talking about grandma in the first place.
Something is off. Feel for the grandmother
Way off
Hmmm... I'm not so sure.
I feel bad for the mother, too. I'm glad she got out of a toxic relationship even though she ended up living in her car. That took courage.
She's a mess it seems.
I’am thinking the same
Hold up, don't they tell people it's okay to take in kids but not the parent because it creates reliance? Grandma probably sees something this girl isn't revealing to these two.
Agree. I'm thinking maybe some substance abuse may be involved too, perhaps???
Exactly something is off about Katie
But does she really have a job? That’s really all that matters for this woman to get on her feet quickly.
I assume Grandma knows about her drug use.
Grandma repeatedly told Katie not to do x and Katie repeatedly ignored that and did x. Grandma's not having ut in her house and doesn't trust Katie not to do x again. Won't let her grandbabies be homeless so at an old age she's raising 3 kid while mom is homeless and potentially still doing x.
Every time I hear a story like this, it strengthens my belief in abstinence. Everybody is sufferring in this situation. Yes, we all make mistakes, and don't know all of the story, but we know that. Bringing life into this world should be taken seriously. This womans story is far too common.
💯
Lets talk to Grandma and find out what's really going on.
I bet that's the first thing the "Ramsey verified financial advisor" will want to do ... xD
💯 agree
She’s clearly burned some bridges and grandma now has custody. She needs to get her shit together before she gets her kids back.
Clearly? What is clear is that your spouse hasn’t punched you in the face every day for the last year. Stop blaming the victim or theorizing what happened. When the lord sends you a family in need the expectation is not to pile on shame and blame. This woman doesn’t need to get her “shit” together to get her children as they are hers not her grandmothers. Ramsey was spot on: 1) we are going to get you a new family 2) a family that is going to help, 3) the grandmother is taking advantage of her. Not surprisingly as abuse starts way before the relationship , starts with the family. Great Christian values and putting others needs before yourself. Two word”pearly gates”
Actually, it sounds like she has burned ALL her bridges! No family, no friends, it takes some work to get to that point where NOBODY you know will help you anymore.
@@clipperbob960What evidence do you have to show that she's a victim?
You can help someone only if they want to be helped and that 'wanting' to be helped is not just by uttering the words - the actions, here onwards, will clearly show what she is committed to.
The fact that Grandma has the kids should alert you that there's more to this than what we're currently getting. And then you just want to coddle her with insufficient information?!
There's no better way to put it.
PREACH.
Maybe that's you or your family but nothing clear about her burning bridges.
Dave was quick to judge the grandmother who is actually those children's great-grandmother. Had the grandmother been the caller and told him how she's taking care of her 3 great-grandchildren at her age he probably would have responded more favorably to her. There was no mention of where the father(s) of these children are and whether he/they are supporting their own children. This was an odd response from Dave on this one.
The father is an abuser. Abusers don't support
Yes. I really like Deloney, but it seems like Dave picked up his quickness to assume a woman claiming toxic was abused. Toxic is simply a buzz word for "I don't like." Could she be a victim of a terrible man who abused her? Absolutely! But Grandma, who is kind enough to take in three children, felt she needed to learn a lesson. It is more likely she chose a loser or treated a decent guy poorly. She should stick to raising her children and forget men until they are grown. Her priority is her children and she can enjoy taking risks on men when they are grown.
@@fortyseventhronin Abusers need to be held accountable and not let off the hook.
So “tough love” Dave is criticizing the Grandmother who doesn’t want to be an enabler? I am confused.
Exactly 😂
Dave is a friggin simp when it comes to women callers, its obnoxious
I think Dave missed the subtext that she's a drug user. Had he caught that, I'm sure he would have sided with Grandma.
The instinct of a boomer simp is to defend a whiny woman who has made poor choices in life
Just baffled.
We have been on a recession since the beginning of 2022, but big media and governments all over the world didn’t want to admit it. We need to be wise and use our brains. Knowledge is power and I’d like all the family to be powerful! Just purchased some *DaleValskov* Thanks for keeping us informed during this times of doubt?
Now this young lady said her grand mother is watching the kids. That means she's their Great Grand Mother. Very difficult to provide for 3 kids because Granny could be in poor health.
Yeah, I wanted to know her age, honestly
I think a lot of people call their mom grandma once they have kids.
@@wordsalad01 if it’s her grandma she’s old to be watching 3 kids.
I’ve seen where great grandma can be in her 60s. Not saying that’s ideal to be taking care of 3 kids but a great grandma doesn’t automatically mean 80+
@@wordsalad01
“If” is the biggest word in the world
Damn why so harsh to her grandma Dave? 3 kids to watch as a great grandma is no easy feat.
Dave wants to know why not take her in with her kids when she has nowhere to go. But maybe there is more to the story that a phone call cannot go through.
She could have more help if she allows her granddaughter to be in. Just saying.
@@cmrdrgzWell obviously, but in these circumstances usually there is a reason (often a good one) Mom isn’t allowed in the home but her children are. Usually the Grandma is trying to protect the kids from the mother’s choices that have/will put them in compromising situations.
Or maybe Dave is right and the Grandma is just trying to be cruel (which is unlikely, but is possible).
Point is we don’t know. My criticism with Dave in this instance is that he quickly judged the Grandmother. For all we know this caller struggles with serious issues that she didn’t disclose and the grandmother had to set a boundary.
@emben2398 and you know this how? Im not for any of them. I know plenty of family that can be petty like that. Grandma can be evil too.
People come into these forums, assuming based on what? You gotta think theres 3 sides of the story.
The only thing that matters is that children are being taken care off.
@@cmrdrgzQuite frankly it’s a blessing she helps out with the kids at all. Otherwise, they may have been taken into state custody which would be awful for all involved.
That said, I sincerely hope the caller can get on her feet and reunite with her children and resolve any family issues. I don’t doubt it’s hard.
Suspect. 3 kids. How many fathers? Where are the fathers? Grandma takes the kids - Why? Seems suspect. She does need to make better choices. Take responsibility. We need the real story here.
Congratulations, *DaleValskov* I am relieved that you are out there fighting these thugs, We musttake every precaution to protect the elderly and the general public from these despicable con artists. Congratulations to You!! You deserve the Nobel Peace Prize for ensuring our security.
I slept in my car 2000-08 in Los Angeles to pay child support. Doing much better now
Sounds like Katie's been in them streets! 😁
Grandma knows what's up.
Exactly
Yes she has. Cant properly raise your kids if your a 304
Having babies with Chad and Tyrone will make sure your a single mom
@@boston312what’s a 304? Lol.
Dave sure makes a ton of assumptions from only 1 side of this problem. Thank goodness the grandmother is helping the kids
Something else is definitely going on. We aren't getting the whole picture.
Drugs most likely
Which is obvious to everyone. My question is - why do the Dave Ramsey crew now suddenly choose to ignore it?
@@katiejon17
Maybe they're going "woke"
Yeah...most Grandmothers would usually give her and her kids safe harbor but not her so she must have a good darn reason to treat her like this.
Do you really think you ever get the full story on these 12 minute shows? What’s more likely is that the staff have more back story and Dave knows more than we do.
I just had my 77 year old grandmother watch my kids this past weekend for a day while I took care of some things. She was 100% overwhelmed with my 4 and 7 year old and only felt relief when my sister came over to visit and watched the kids . Also why stop paying the grandma when she is providing support , housing , food etc for the kids ? This woman made some horrible decisions that has landed her in this situation . Even grandma said “nah I’m good “ .
yeah it's not like she's just "giving" grandma money. groceries alone for the three would be like--800/month?
Do not do that to your 77 year old grandma again!!
Pay a babysitter
What horrible decisions exactly did she make? And don't tell me "probably" this or "probably" that. What bad decisions did you HEAR she made?
@@fortyseventhronin we didn't hear anything because they didn't ask her any questions, and she wasn't forthcoming with information. According to her all this stuff just happened to her:/
@@brookiegremlin6660 Believe it or not, not everything is a direct, 100% result of our own choices. Sometimes life really does just happen to us.
Something stinks here
Change your underwear.
Listen. I'm with the grandma here. We have bailed our kids out for the last 8 years to help the grandkids. Many times that meaning everyone moved in to our small home. After the last time we told them that the kids will always have a roof over their heads. But we will not continue to enable their bad behaviors. You have to put a period at the end of that. Or in my eyes, you'll continue to be taken advantage of due to the love of the kids.
You are so wise. We spent years supporting my MiL for the sake of my spouses much younger half sister. We had no idea she was gambling and doing drugs. She led her daughter into that also. We should have taken the kid and cut off MiL (who didn’t work enough to earn SS or Medicare in her lifetime ).
Agree
Why did they not ask her about CHILD SUPPORT from her kids father?????
How about some question marks.
She sounds as if she has bigger problems than income here. More income could be an enabler.
Fathers...........
This girl is the problem I guarantee it. I bet the fathers are in prison
@@DudeMuscle Part of the problem, yes.
I support grandma. She's taking care of the kids. Also, the way she framed it sounds like a bridge she had been burning down for quite some time. "Learn a lesson from making bad decisions" suggests tells me grandma is fed up with how she's living her life and it's negatively affecting the kids. Just happy she's held onto this job. I think the $28K is after taxes though that'd be a lot of taxes. Might be a job she use to have is my guess.
Yup, I feel there is a whole lot more to the story than she is letting on.
I support grandma too. She needs to STOP making babies first off. She's gotta figure out how to raise and support the 3 she's got.
I wondered if she burned bridges with her parents? Grandma may be working with her parents (if she is on decent terms with them) and simply does not want the drama that might be attracted if she also allows the grandaughter in. 🤔
This poor woman was involved with at nasty narcissist. They tell you how stupid you are, that you can’t do anything right, that you need them to survive. It is a horrible thing to live with. The old granny doesn’t get it at all AND she is endangering this woman’s life. The street# are not safe. Everyday there is trouble all around. I can’t believe she would do this. Just disgusting.
Caller said $20,800/year at 40 hours per week.
Grandma is correct.
Is there something I am missing? Though not impossible, I find it unlikely that this young woman wasn’t responsible for her Grandmother’s reaction.
I would love to hear what the Grandma has to say on this matter.
Dave’s always preaching the danger’s of enabling so maybe the Grandma was taking his advice.
Oh believe me my mother wouldn't have even taken the kids in. She was a strong believer in you make your bed you lie in it. She definitely would not have given up her freedom for anyone. Not saying the girl did something wrong for the grandma to act like this but there are definitely women out there that don't give 2 f*cks about what others are going through even if it is their own family.
I would have given them a place to stay to help her get back on her feet, but not if she was bringing drugs, men or abusing alcohol in my house around her kids. Maybe that is the reason she is living in her car. Grandma said these are the rules if you want to live here. If you don’t abide by them then you are on your own.
@@moonbuni59The trouble is that grandma is risking the drama plus the possibility of not being able to get her granddaughter out if something goes south.
We have a grandma like that at church. She took her daughter's kids because the state was going to take them. She cut her daughter out of her life and has had the kids (teenagers now) since they were really little. Her granddaughter calls her "mom" because the granddaughter has never really known her actual mom.
As if "toxic relationship" are magic words that render accountability unnecessary.
$20/hr working 40 hours per week is $41,600 per year.
Its after taxes
@@fc7307 With three children, she probably does not pay much in taxes.
@@fc7307She wouldn't pay taxes and would easily qualify for free money at tax time through EITC.
Get some programming skills set up & tech school 100k job in medical manufacturing cnc machinist
Something is not right here.. She says she brings in 28k.. Another said it was after taxes.. But by my calculations, she would have to be paying over 30% in taxes to be that low, even after taxes. I find that hard to believe, especially with 3 kids.
The efficiency of this *DaleValskov* is next level. To juggle walk throughs of various angles on the topic delivered to-camera, differnet content per topic from various folks underneath the umbrella of the track list of the larger big band concert itself is engaging and refined. To make a dense taccess like this so digestible is really something. Awesome work jack!!
I’m with Grandma here. If she kicked her out there is a reason.
Hey you are the first person on that made a comment that totally true and makes sense... others saying oh she's on drugs..lol tons of people on drugs and still holds down regular jobs and take care their family
Really all women need to learn this lesson. You can’t change that guy you think you can change. He will always be an unfaithful, broke, and will leave you as soon as you get pregnant. There are guys you friendzoned that you know are right for you. Be with them. They will never leave your side and you’ll never end up in this situation.
Agreed.
Another lesson: If you choose to bring a child into the world with a man that you barely know there *a chance* that it may not end well..
My heart goes to the entire community for *DaleValskov* building up something even my grandpa can understand. This is so smart by them to launch it to shatter the doubts and fears of the common folk which is not even correct to begin with. Everyone knows the state of inflation and recession now and the way out is already in progress. Now it's just about catching the big fish
Dave, this woman is SUSS. There's a reason the grandmother wants her to learn a lesson but is willing to care of the kids. She's looking to you for a handout because she exhausted everyone in her life and has a record.
Definitely feel that you were too hard on the grandmother. This woman may never change The grandmother is doing a tremendous job caring for three children.
Sad story. I suspect bridges have been burned big time. This didn't just happen. Maybe she is now ready to move forward since she did call The Ramsey Show. I wish her the best.
I love your response! So many other commentors (men) are condemning the young woman who is clearly trying to better her situation.
@@gammayin3245 There would be even less sympathy for a man who called in this situation. Men have to be harder in this world or it would collapse.
I did not believe that after the whole FTX drama there's any good to get this year but *DaleValskov* proved otherwise. Bad timing maybe but it's a great adoption to get this more to the mainstream and raise awareness. Probably a high contender for a top 100 growth
Probably three different dads from three different prisons. 😂😂😂
Mr butterflies and tingles aka Chad and Tyrone, single Mom coming thru
Can't deny the fact that *DaleValskov* is the strongest bet to bring power back to this industry after we suffered FTX, Celsius, Tera and so on. Sure if they fail it's done for good, but I don't see that the biggest tech company in the world would put everything at risk just for that.
This is very very unfair to the grandmother. Dave should ask exactly why this girl is homeless yet Granny is watching the kids. She certainly isn't volunteering. I'll bet it goes something like this: girl has three kids by three different men. Girl parties. Girl shacks up with Jessie the bad boy and the usual "toxic" relationship. Jessie gets fed up and giver her the boot. She runs back to Granny's house. Repeat, repeat, repeat and Granny finally had enough. I've known a few homeless people and the reason they are homeless is because they've burned every bridge, slept on every couch, and everyone got tired of their crap.
Does Dave think that it's easy for a senior citizen to take in 3 GREAT grandchildren? This isn't the full story.
Where is/are the father/fathers? Women seriously need to start looking out for themselves and don't risk their lives for the sake of sex.
Ikr? Go buy a toy, ffs, and keep these "toxic" boys away from your kids.
She said she left a toxic relationship. I’m assuming that was the father of the children.
Agreed. But if young people don’t have the proper guidance from adults, then they can easily make the wrong decisions.
It's about planning. Not about having sex.
I’m guessing you are male. You obviously don’t understand that sex is not what motivates a young woman to make the mistake of having unprotected sex with a bad partner choice.
20 dollars times 40 hours is 800 a week. 41200 per year not 28800
28000 after tax.
@@SomnambulistCrazeshould be more like $33,000 after tax. And at that income, with dependents, she should get most of it back come tax season.
@@willowandluka5302 If she works full time which she probably doesnt. Also if grandma has them she might be putting them on her taxes. who knows.
@@willowandluka5302 employer health insurance
Taxes & insurance would make the take-home less than $800/wk. This doesn't even take into account that she might even have 401k &/ or a wage garnishment.
Yeah, there’s got to be more to this story. Surprised Dave was so harsh to the grandmother (which would be great grandma to the kiddos). A great grandmother watching 3 kids is tough! Also, where is her Mom, Dad, siblings, etc stepping up to the plate? If she’s broken ties with them, that might be an indication she’s doing something wrong that she’s not letting on. Who knows? Either way, I hope she gets things situated for the sake of her and her kids.
In many of these "families" (loosely defined), great grandma is the only functional one, all the men are incarcerated, grandma and momma are junkies and as dysfunctional as the young mom, and you get five generations screwed up completely.
Finally! Someone mentioned the parents. I did not think Dave was too harsh about grandma, it did seem weird that grandma would take in the great-grands and leave mom to sleep in the car. That is not a safe situation for a woman, so this caller must have done or is doing something that family members may not want to be a part of. E.g., grandma does not need some toxic dude showing up on her porch to start trouble with her granddaughter.
I believe Grandma had a good reason 🤷♀️
Exactly
Why on earth did you criticize the grandmother who stepped up and is taking care of 3 children for this caller? You just accepted everything the caller said as true and make gross assumptions about the grandmother with no evidence whatsoever. Maybe the grandmother is right, the caller does have to "learn a lesson" and what she has done is saving the kids and the caller. The caller admitted she was under the thumb of some guy and maybe she was consistently choosing the man over her kids. Did she allow the guy to abuse them or her in front of them (which is still abuse)? Does the caller use drugs? Was she abusing or neglecting the children herself? You don't friggin' know. Maybe, just maybe the grandmother is absolutely right and the only way to save the kids and the caller is making her take accountability. And where was your brain about money? She's making $28,000 a year and has a trade and she's still on the street? Places are hard to find, yes, but with a job and an income she could at least find a shared apartment UNLESS there's something so wrong with her no one wants to rent to her. Huge fail here, Dave....ironically, it's classic enabler behavior. Where was your head?
Though Dave seems to have good financial sense, he can be a bit warped at times when it comes to common/reasoning sense. Anyone with good reasoning knows there's a reason this woman's grandmother won't allow her to stay in her home. And, most likely, it's because she's either a drug addict/thief, or she's disrespectful, violent, a liar, or trouble follows where ever she is and grandmom wants no part of any of it. She never accused her grandmother of being a wicked, and controlling woman.
Well and simply put.
Caller isn't telling the whole story. Why is Grandma telling granddaughter she needs to learn a lesson?
If it gets to that point, the daughter has repeatedly made mistakes and like Dave always preaches, "I love you enough to not let you move in. I'm not enabling you anymore."
Hopefully this coaching will help her get her life sorted anyway it is!
Wait..i don't remember hearing a dollar amount going to grandma
Where is the father or fathers ?
I bet there is 3 of them, all deadbeats. But she picked them over good solid guys.
Ballz deep in the next one. That’s where.
@@Kaktus965 Correct Sir
Amazing how he hears one side of a story and jumps on the grandmother. Totally disagree with him on these issues. Grandma is the hero here. This problem did not start overnight...
I’d love to hear a follow up on this call six months down the road. There’s a ton more to the story about the caller and her grandmother than what has been told.
I feel that the last bull run was bolstered by all the money being printed. Major returns next bull run but I think they will be tamer in my humble opinion. A 10x on *DaleValskov* and a 15x on polygon are fair considering how much those two coins are interwov
I find it funny how they are upset with the family for not taking her in. But when people phone in and say they live with family members he tells them they should move out stand on your own
They counsel that when the kids call complaining about living at home when they make plenty enough money to live on their own; or when parents call about their adult kids acting out or causing drama when the kids are perfectly able to support themselves.
I wonder where the callers PARENTS are that she is sleeping in her car?
@@user-mv9tt4st9k her parents are probably in the same situation as her. They are not always as you describe. I've heard plenty that say they are in debt to their eye balls and are trying to get out of it. They say they live at home to pay it off and he has a go at them. Most people wonder why the family unit is nonexistent when parents want their kids out as soon as possible and will not think twice about putting their parents in a home. Asian and South America families will have 3 or 4 generations living together, staying as a family unit. I know which one I would like to live in
She has a history of making bad choices and, it seems, against the wisdom of her grandmother and probably others which is why the grandmother, according to her, said she needs to learn a lesson. Grandmother, and others, have grown tired of bailing her out/being the cleanup crew for her messy life. If he, Dave, helps her get into housing, she'll probably move some fool into the place and let him mess up that opportunity as well. She makes 28-30,000 p/yr. There's no reason she should be homeless except for, due to bad decisions, she's ruined her rental history/credit and landlords don't trust renting to her. This type of person does need to learn a lesson, if they're willing to learn, correct behaviors, and do better. I'd let her remain in her car and figure her way out in hopes that, after she gets herself out of this, she'll do better for herself and her children which, most likely, are by different men, i.e., more bad decision making. She ought to be extremely grateful that her grandmother keeps her children because, honestly, I don't think I would take on that responsibility from her. Then again, to a degree, I'm a softy where children are concerned.
Trust me Dave. The grandma might not be the devil you think.
Friend of mine was also in a toxic relationship, cheater, ect ect.
Her choices led her to be homeless. She broke up, and her choices were weed, sex with any dude, eating out, parties, ect.
Mom did the right choice kicking her out.
When family will let you sleep in a car or just homeless instead of with them.
You screwed up
Work on mending those fences later or making friends with people that will offer a couch for 6 months
27 years old, three kids, and a family willing to care for the children, but says it’s time you learn a lesson.... yeah, this girl has been a real problem for years now and the family isn’t enabling it anymore.
I wouldn't want to be friends with someone like her and offering for her to sleep on my couch for 6 months is just asking for trouble. She'll bring her toxicity, her drama, and her problems with her into your peaceful life. Who wants to be friends with that? That's insane.
@@terriesmith2616 SO true!
You must not know how screwed up people's families are.... usually, they just don't want another adult witnessing the dysfunction they have going on in their home.
@@auemmjeethat’s a good point too
Hopefully she's not on drugs
That wouldn't surprise me!!
I'm wondering if she is or recently was, and if that's why the grandmother has the attitude she has. Maybe she doesn't want to be an enabler.
Or giving all the money to loser drug addiction males.
She sounds stoned to me. Grandma isn’t taking in 3 kids for no good reason. God bless grandma. That can’t be easy. Come on Dave. Wake up.
fentanyl guaranteed
So many follow up questions not asked: how old is granny? Is she living on social security? Where is Katie’s mom and dad? Where are the kids’ fathers? How many hours a week is Katie working? If not full time can she pick up a second job? How much is she giving each week to granny and the kids? Is she drinking? Doing drugs? Is she supposed to be getting child support? What bad decisions is granny upset about? I love Dave, but this is not his best work.
Grandma was probably sick of this girl’s foolish decisions. Toxic boyfriend?
or stole money and/or valuables from family members - that will get you put on the 'no fly' list quicker then anything.
“I was escaping a toxic relationship” in the most robotic rehearsed way possible. Yup I am not buying it 😂
Those 304s repeat that till they believe it. She picked them! She will be on the hunt for a simp in a few years.
@@stevebc957yup. They steal stuff to support their addictions
I agree with Dave on the grandmother even hearing half of the story. Help the girl UP; don't keep her down. This girl works to pay narc Granny; she isn't receiving handouts. The girl needs her kids and to take back control of her life. Granny needs to make better decisions herself. I would find a new family too.
It's amazing what you do *DaleValskov* We need a lot of people with your skills and set who have good intentions and spread love
A year from now she’ll have 4 kids and still not figure out where she is going wrong
It is tough trying to diagnose and advise on a 4 minute phone call. I think the best thing they did was linking the girl up with some support people around her. They will be able to talk face to face and find out more. Often young people who are not managing, need some outside-of-family person/ people to help them with life lessons and/ or adjusting to stable adulthood. Sometimes they
can't get on top of life because of toxic family background issues. These people need some extra " family" to help them get a better grip on life !
I bet if grandma called and asked Dave if she should let her granddaughter live with her since she continues to make bad choices, he say to not let her in.
I used to be homeless, I got a tent and slept in the woods outside of Tulsa, OK and showered at the gym. I worked two jobs & eventually parlayed that into a better job & eventually got out of it. I took about 1 year to get back in stable living conditions. I invested all my money & ate canned beans & canned fruit for 3 meals a day. That was 2.5 years ago and now I’m crushing it and doing better than most my age and older. I’m 25. Best sleep I ever had was when I was homeless and slept in them woods.
Well done! You seem very resourceful, an admirable trait. Congratulations on your successes.
I will be spending a week at camp in my favorite woods later this summer. Platform tents and cots offer the best sleep and naps. 😊
Yeah I think there is more to the story
She forgot to mention to Dave that she has a massive drug problem which is why her granny doesn’t want her staying with her
So many comments here guessing on her story - She reached out for guidance, and she received more than what she was asking for because of Dave's generosity.
I learned personally dealing with particularly females which this caller sounds like a certain person i used to know. They seem to never want to tell you the whole story and truth of why they are in the bad position and situation they are in. And they try to make you sympathize with them by making it seem like its not them but other people. Why do we let females get away with that and not question their fault in all of it?
Yes! Just like my MiL. She always tells part of the story but not the whole thing. She weaves lies in too so she looks like the victim. She’s has burned her bridges with her 6 siblings and has no friends. Her two children provide for her now that she is elderly. Sadly she did so many drugs and spent so much of her life lying I don’t know if she actually is able to recognize truth anymore
Toxic relationship? is their a police report? 3 Children outside of marriage - is the ex only father of the 3? / Why doesn't he pay cs? Had she 3 children with a toxic loser, she can't afford? So many questions here. Grandma is already doing enough. I think Grandma is on point for teaching her a lesson. She needed to hit rock bottom.
This probably isn’t the whole story. Grandma knows something…
There's alot of stagima with domestic violence.
If anyone needs me, I’ll be out & about trying to find what info the caller left out
Lettuce no if you bump into OJ apprehending the “reel killer”
I think grandma should give Katie her kids back if they take that money away from her. They should be grateful that a great grandma is watching her great grandchildren because Katie can’t get her life together, I feel that Katie burnt her bridges. Where is her parents in all of this or why doesn’t she get child support for all 3 kids?
Why do I feel like she’s part of the problem lmao. I hear this story every day at an apartment in a rough part of town
And how tf is she making less than $30k working full time at $20/hr????
@@morgenglende-michalski369 Drugs didn't help with the math.
@@taz24787 lmao I guess so….
Something seems fishy. 🤔 sorry but I don't buy her story.
I'm a machinist, you know the one that works late nights on the weekends... that kind of Machinist
One night I was wandering around a small town near Lake Biwa, called Yasu. At twilight I walked past a small machine shop. As the sun set halfa dozen Japanese guys covered in grease were hard at work making metal widgets. No conversation, no phones, no cigarettes. Just pure hard work. I don’t see that often.
seems to be busy placing the blame on other things but not herself. 40k a year she can rent a room in a house and save money to get your kids back. Pathetic.
As from comments consensus ... most likely she's on drugs.
yeah there's no way she's going to be able to afford adequate housing and food and healthcare for four people.
@@brookiegremlin6660With her family size and income, she would easily qualify for SNAP, Medicaid, and likely many other programs.
What are you?
Where did you get $40K/year? Caller said $20,800, which half of $40K. And she already works 40 hours a week.
People like this caller knows how to manipulate people like Dave and us to sympathize with them by being a homeless single mom. BUT they give details that paint them not being at fault and that they didn't act and make bad choices to end up in that position. Its a reason or reasons why grandma wouldn't let her move in with her kids. because come on how can we think it makes sense grandma allowed the kids but not her to move in? That's suspicious and by grandma saying she needs to learn a lesson idk if its drugs involved like most others are saying. But i definitely wouldn't be surprised if her choices in men is a part of it and that her 3 kids may not be with the same guy. Im just saying and somewhat speculating because it aint adding up, the math not mathing here, she definitely isn't giving all the details especially on her part of what she's done. I realized when i dealt with people i knew who were homeless and they told me about it. majority of them especially the females always lacked accountability and blame everyone else including their own family who tried to help. But they wanted to do WHATEVER they wanted and people helping got feed up and i wouldn't be surprised if thats part of the case with this caller here. Especially if they are early 20s or worse straight out of high school they definitely act as if they can do whatever they want because "they're grown" now and think they can live in someone else's home and do whatever and find out eventually thats not how the real world works especially nowadays with how hard times are.
She paused before responding with “40 hours” when Dave asked how much she is working, I am not sure she was being honest. She also said the rest of her time was trying to find places and programs to help the situation; how many hours would it take before you found something?
Homelessness is not a lesson. It's the beginning of a terrible downward spiral towards addiction and prostitution.
Grandma doesn't want her bringing drugs into the house
dont breed em if you cant feed em. Poor grandma.
Yeah well where's the father of the kids!
@@ykook7000 you are right neither person responsible for these kids can take care of them 🫤
Next time ask… 1. Are you on food stamps/WIC? 2. Are your kids in foster care? 3. Have you had a prior eviction?
Dude, no. Welfare is not a good plan. She needs to get on her own two feet to have any chance of lasting success.
@@BitterComments Welfare can help out in the beginning, it is only terrible if you milk it for years.
@@Kebutor I agree. WIC and food stamps free up cash for rent, utilities, transportation, clothes, etc.
This is what happens when you let life happen to you instead of you controlling it.
YOLO? 🤔
She’s calling you now because she’s been pushed to the point to fix her life. If she lived on grandma’s couch it wouldn’t have been a phone call
Dave needs to lay off of grandma..we dont know what Katies role has been in this.. if there was drug abuse or physical and mental abuse done to the kids or to grandma..
Her giving money to grandma for caring for 3 kids isnt wrong..
As long time listener to Dave, he has a sense of being passionate to certain callers. He realized she is in a rut and very well could be on verge of suicide in her situation. That is why he sided with her and getting her help instead of his harsh love usually with callers.
He didn't help her because he allowed her to describe the situation without details. Because he doesn't know the full story he gave her no help. That's not giving her help.
@@cherylnielson4710Did you not listen to the same call?
I'm shocked that Dave showed compassion instead of talking down on her from a place of judgment 😯
I respect his approach on this call💓
I’m not great at math or anything but $20 an hour 40 hours a week is more than 28,000 a year
$20,800
Such hypocrisy from Dave. If the grandma called, he’d tell her she has no legal or moral obligation to house this person. Plus, he is all about getting the adult kids out of the house, regardless of if they are financially mature.
Right?! The grandma is taking care of her 3 great great kids. Dave should have sympathy for the grandma.
Dave is a about "getting the adult kids out of the house" when they are capable of supporting themselves and are causing grief in their parents' homes. 🙄
@@user-mv9tt4st9knot true. I’ve seen multiple calls where the adult kid lives in harmony with the parents but Dave encourages them to move out. Something about you “stand a little taller; walk a little straighter” when you are out on your own, renting with strangers as opposed to family 😂
There is no way anyone with a high school diploma and of legal age should be able to earn only 20 grand. In the trades, especially, this is absurd. There has to be more remunerative work out there. You also need a tubal. 3 kids is enough.
You obviously didn't listen to the whole thing.. She later went on to say that she worked 40 hours a week and made $20hr.. That comes up to 41,600 a year.. and that is with no overtime or extra holiday pay (since working holidays usually pays 1.5 to double the pay for those hours).
She said she was working for a company based in Japan. Offshore (private) companies might not pay as much as trades. Union work is great, though it takes a couple of years of work before a worker advances to journeyman/woman and is high enough in the books to be steadily employed as a temp, and often several years before that permanent offer comes in.
If mom is as bad off as it sounds (unspoken substance addiction), letting mom in the house risks all kids in child protective services custody away from any family
Clearly the grandmother is aware that she’s a knucklehead . Surprised at how they approached the call . Ultimately I hope their elp helps her but I’m suspecting we’d agree with grandma if we knew more
"everybody has made bad choices" - am not sure we should generalize without providing proof.
Too much information is missing here. She prioritized a looser man over her kids and that's why she needs to learn a lesson. Grandma is right.
This woman is not her grandmother's responsibility. Grandmother should be relaxing now she's taking care of great grandkids. I feel sorry for the old lady.
This is one of the most Christlike compassionate videos I have ever heard or seen. Thank you for helping this young mother.
What are you talking about? "Compassion" does not include enabling someone to not take accountability for her own actions. "Compassion" is not swallowing hook, line and sinker someone's story that has a million holes in it and also with no evidence condemn the one person (in this case the grandmother) who is stepping up and doing the right thing--taking care of the kids. This is fake compassion usually by people who are more concerned with displaying how "righteous" they are to other people and who aren't really interested in helping the person who allegedly needs help.