Having to coach a guy through his finances and managing his money is exhausting and makes a lot of women miserable in the end. Stacey did great not marrying Izzy. I have also witnessed a lot of women letting their partners full time drive their cars while they are the ones paying
In my culture there is a saying "ubuhle bendoda izinkomo zayo." Which translates, "what makes a man 'beautiful' is his wealth." In my opinion, the dude failed on so many levels, he should have been honest with the girl about his financial situation from the start, the girl gave him so many chances to come clean. No relationship is built on deception and I love what the the girl's dad said to him, "Love is blind, but love still needs to eat." Men and women bring different things to a relationship to make it work, and men typically bring capacity to financially provide for the household and what I loved about the girl is that she made her expectations clear, she wanted a man who is going to be a provider; she even asked him to pay for the date which was not selfish since these people were going to get married. Umjitha(the guy) shouldn't have lied as much as he did, he gave the poor girl false hope.
With regards to Stacy being too judgemental about the credit score/credit card, I don't think you're looking at the bigger picture that her reaction was based off on when the credit card conversation came up. Stacy was more upset by the fact that he lied or withheld information (same thing) twice about his credit and consequently, couldn't trust him (In the pods, 'anything I should know about your finances or debt?' Again, when she realised that he didn't have a credit card, she asked why that was, he didnt say, 'well, because I've been blacklisted, no credit card company wants to touch me'). Since she questioned him about it prior, when the conversation came up a day before the wedding, that just compounded on pre-existing issues she already had with Izzy. Backstory: Izzy had mentioned his bad credit to Johnnie in the pods, and when he dumped her, like a sore loser, Johnnie angrily sang this information out like a bird. I wonder if Izzy would've told Stacy about his credit score if he hadn't already made the mistake of telling Johnnie about it first. The producers of the show already knew of this information and his arch nemesis from the show also knew, so even if he puts it off, eventually he would have had to tell her, but what if no one knew, would he have told her because if he had the intention of telling her, why wait till the day before the wedding? Low-key scammer tendencies if you ask me. Please consider, one of the arguments she makes on a separate occassion was that in the pods, Izzy had portrayed himself as this ridiculously romantic guy who would cook for her, run her a bubble bath after a long day, foot massages, rose petals, the works, 'I'll do this and that for you', but then the reality of their relationship in the real world did not match the expectation he had created in the pods. Yes, he bought her flowers weekly, but he had oversold himself because Stacy had these huge expectations of a super romantic partner that would randomly 'write her notes,' hence her question, 'what to you do for me?' 'Cleaning a house that you stay in and being an understanding and supportive partner' is not not what she was promised, she was promised a fantasy back in the pods. We see this again in Izzy's conversation with Stacy's dad, Izzy again lied and oversold his financial capacity. Leading up to the wedding it was difficult for Stacy to reconcile what she had been told in the pods and what she was getting in real life, the person she fell for in the pods wasn't really the person she's was meeting in the real world, and because in the pods people fall in love with what they're told, there's now a discrepancy between Izzy, the hopeless romantic and Izzy, a regular guy and for this reason she had to call off the wedding so as to give herself time to figure out the real Izzy for herself because clearly she couldn't trust anything that came out of his mouth. Coming into the show he probably came into the show with good intentions, but he probably made a calculated decision to let go of Johnnie and go for Stacy instead because Stacy could provide extra cushioning. Again, we can see how Stacy struggled with this because she even called him out on it by telling him that she wanted to be 'loved for just being'' Stacy, not loved and showered with affection because she's far better than Johnnie, and because he was then evidently realising that he's truly made a good choice by choosing her over Johnnie I didn't get her frustration then, but I get it now. My thoughts are that they were from the jump, financially incompatible, but how everything played out would've been avoided if Izzy opted for honesty while they were in the pods. I admire how Stacy walked away when she wasn't truly sure. As women, we're always blamed for ignoring the red flags and picking the worst men from the lot. Women are wired for emotional connections and propably one of our greatest need is the need to be loved, a need to belong so it's understandable to me that it becomes tricky for a woman to walk away from that opportunity, but not Stacy, that lady is a personification of 'don't drop your standards.' She had standards and she upheld them even though she's obviously had a hard time in finding love. Also, when you reach a certain age, around Stacy''s age, it's not strange to encounter men wanting to leech off women so it makes finances and how someone navigates around the discussion of finances incredibly important. In situations where marriage is an end goal or a live in partner where both lives are consolidated, I'd go as far as Googling, 'financial questions and precautions to ask and take a future spouse.'
I have said this before the three essentials of any relationship are integrity or honesty secondly is transparency or openness then finally accountability so it's essential that in relationships we become open, honest and accountable about our finances or money issues
Honestly felt so sad for Izzy but the truth is he just did not measure up no matter what scale was being used. I think he did himself and injustice by not picking up on the cues that were given to him.
My challenge in general in many cases is that quiet often when finances are discussed in relationships they are mostly centred around the male figure background as if the females financially standings have no impact on the financial stability of the relationship. Even when we trying to check compatability women with money and those with no money are looking for the same guy, which is the guy with money. Ai maan...
Mmmh,being finanicialy compatible with someone is key.That's why sometimes the other partner might feel as if their partner is holding them back because they failing to achieve their financial goals or are unable to live how they wish to live.And yes sometimes its a difficult thing to communicate,i can imagine but ultimately its one of the causes of failed marriages.
I fully understand Stacy to be honest and I think I will ask someone about their credit record because it stops the plans you have. I think in other countries credit record is taken seriously compared to South Africa. I remember one of my friend saying if you pass on the traffic light as pedestrian your credit record can be affected by that.
Hi Nicky... Hard conversations to have but must be had. Sober... I think maybe record the convo because in the moment we might not be paying attention because you might be thinking of what to ask next or your responses instead of really hearing what is being said. Nothing wrong with falling short here and there, be forthcoming about it, don't say but you didn't ask me specifically this or that. Money is the most important, it is everything... its "The Cost of Living" the cost being South African Rands
Finances are so important hey, love alone is not enough. You need to understand what you're getting yourself into and finances are a big indicator and reason why couples end up divorcing so it's not something to take lightly.
I think in an African culture a man should stand up for the family. Therefore getting married as man you should be aware of what you putting yourself into. A wife should be a helping hand . If you content with that I guess everything will go smoothly . Be careful you are not bossing anyone you are playing your part as responsible man. A must do what a man has to do .Thanks sisi for always opening our eyes and making us aware.
These two need to date for a while and learn each other… and teach each other. She needs to give this a guy a chance.. and stop making him live up to the ideal guy she has in her head. Give him a chance to learn and adjust. A woman brings some of an upgrade in a man’s life.. and teaching him about proper kitchenware would be a start. They are not ready to get married. They should allow for things to happen organically. Start by really knowing and learning each other.. and really being open to the other person.
He's an adult, not a child. It's not any woman's job to teach a man how to be a grown up. Not having proper plates in your house is childish and immature. You are correct, it proves he was not ready for marriage.
@@jas1565 I get that. I’m just saying, we’re not raised the same and definitely don’t have the same experiences.. therefore we don’t have the same outlook on things. And everything that is good can be learned. Hence I emphasise on giving each other a chance. I’m sure she has her shortcomings as well. Hence I said they should consider dating and getting to know each other.. as they seem to like each other enough to do that. And him being a grown man, I’m sure he has his strong points that could be just as beneficial to her if she gave him that fair chance to be his best self. Marriage is putting too much pressure on them way too soon.. and that takes away from what they could’ve maybe resolved and learned from each other. I’m not saying she should ignore the red flags.. but them looking to get married too soon and subsequently giving up on the person cos of things coming up is eliminating all positive possibilities had things not rushed. We all want people that take out the best in us.. and that’s a process and it’s both ways. Just my 2c. The only thing that makes me nervous is him not being her match financially… that will be a challenge. Then if she decides to not continue anything cos of this. And it should be clear that it is them not being on the same level financially. She shouldn’t make him out to be “less worthy or not enough” because of financial preferences. The guy will, hopefully, build himself up. And if she can’t stay for that. That’s fine, but it should be clear. And she shouldn’t come back when he is financially solid🤷🏽♀️. The paper plates.. and like Nicolette said, the bad credit.. are all temporary and one can be taught or shown better. Again, my 2c.
My challenge in general in many cases is that quiet often when finances are discussed in relationships they are mostly centred around the male figure background as if the females financially standings have no impact on the financial stability of the relationship. Even when we trying to check compatability women with money and those with no money are looking for the same guy, which is the guy with money. Ai maan...
Having to coach a guy through his finances and managing his money is exhausting and makes a lot of women miserable in the end. Stacey did great not marrying Izzy. I have also witnessed a lot of women letting their partners full time drive their cars while they are the ones paying
So many guys convincing their girlfriends to buy a GTI, knowing they'll be the ones driving it.
Love without money is a recipe for disaster
In my culture there is a saying "ubuhle bendoda izinkomo zayo." Which translates, "what makes a man 'beautiful' is his wealth." In my opinion, the dude failed on so many levels, he should have been honest with the girl about his financial situation from the start, the girl gave him so many chances to come clean. No relationship is built on deception and I love what the the girl's dad said to him, "Love is blind, but love still needs to eat." Men and women bring different things to a relationship to make it work, and men typically bring capacity to financially provide for the household and what I loved about the girl is that she made her expectations clear, she wanted a man who is going to be a provider; she even asked him to pay for the date which was not selfish since these people were going to get married. Umjitha(the guy) shouldn't have lied as much as he did, he gave the poor girl false hope.
Exactly, what bores me about the guy are the words he uttered about the lady after being reject at the alter, he never takes accountability 😏
With regards to Stacy being too judgemental about the credit score/credit card, I don't think you're looking at the bigger picture that her reaction was based off on when the credit card conversation came up.
Stacy was more upset by the fact that he lied or withheld information (same thing) twice about his credit and consequently, couldn't trust him (In the pods, 'anything I should know about your finances or debt?' Again, when she realised that he didn't have a credit card, she asked why that was, he didnt say, 'well, because I've been blacklisted, no credit card company wants to touch me'). Since she questioned him about it prior, when the conversation came up a day before the wedding, that just compounded on pre-existing issues she already had with Izzy.
Backstory: Izzy had mentioned his bad credit to Johnnie in the pods, and when he dumped her, like a sore loser, Johnnie angrily sang this information out like a bird. I wonder if Izzy would've told Stacy about his credit score if he hadn't already made the mistake of telling Johnnie about it first. The producers of the show already knew of this information and his arch nemesis from the show also knew, so even if he puts it off, eventually he would have had to tell her, but what if no one knew, would he have told her because if he had the intention of telling her, why wait till the day before the wedding? Low-key scammer tendencies if you ask me.
Please consider, one of the arguments she makes on a separate occassion was that in the pods, Izzy had portrayed himself as this ridiculously romantic guy who would cook for her, run her a bubble bath after a long day, foot massages, rose petals, the works, 'I'll do this and that for you', but then the reality of their relationship in the real world did not match the expectation he had created in the pods. Yes, he bought her flowers weekly, but he had oversold himself because Stacy had these huge expectations of a super romantic partner that would randomly 'write her notes,' hence her question, 'what to you do for me?' 'Cleaning a house that you stay in and being an understanding and supportive partner' is not not what she was promised, she was promised a fantasy back in the pods. We see this again in Izzy's conversation with Stacy's dad, Izzy again lied and oversold his financial capacity.
Leading up to the wedding it was difficult for Stacy to reconcile what she had been told in the pods and what she was getting in real life, the person she fell for in the pods wasn't really the person she's was meeting in the real world, and because in the pods people fall in love with what they're told, there's now a discrepancy between Izzy, the hopeless romantic and Izzy, a regular guy and for this reason she had to call off the wedding so as to give herself time to figure out the real Izzy for herself because clearly she couldn't trust anything that came out of his mouth.
Coming into the show he probably came into the show with good intentions, but he probably made a calculated decision to let go of Johnnie and go for Stacy instead because Stacy could provide extra cushioning. Again, we can see how Stacy struggled with this because she even called him out on it by telling him that she wanted to be 'loved for just being'' Stacy, not loved and showered with affection because she's far better than Johnnie, and because he was then evidently realising that he's truly made a good choice by choosing her over Johnnie I didn't get her frustration then, but I get it now.
My thoughts are that they were from the jump, financially incompatible, but how everything played out would've been avoided if Izzy opted for honesty while they were in the pods. I admire how Stacy walked away when she wasn't truly sure. As women, we're always blamed for ignoring the red flags and picking the worst men from the lot. Women are wired for emotional connections and propably one of our greatest need is the need to be loved, a need to belong so it's understandable to me that it becomes tricky for a woman to walk away from that opportunity, but not Stacy, that lady is a personification of 'don't drop your standards.' She had standards and she upheld them even though she's obviously had a hard time in finding love. Also, when you reach a certain age, around Stacy''s age, it's not strange to encounter men wanting to leech off women so it makes finances and how someone navigates around the discussion of finances incredibly important. In situations where marriage is an end goal or a live in partner where both lives are consolidated, I'd go as far as Googling, 'financial questions and precautions to ask and take a future spouse.'
This was long but extremely informative... Great Analysis😊😊
I have said this before the three essentials of any relationship are integrity or honesty secondly is transparency or openness then finally accountability so it's essential that in relationships we become open, honest and accountable about our finances or money issues
Honestly felt so sad for Izzy but the truth is he just did not measure up no matter what scale was being used. I think he did himself and injustice by not picking up on the cues that were given to him.
I can't wait for the upcoming video, money makes and breaks relationships and it is something that is a huge deal to me so I understood Stacy's POV.
My challenge in general in many cases is that quiet often when finances are discussed in relationships they are mostly centred around the male figure background as if the females financially standings have no impact on the financial stability of the relationship. Even when we trying to check compatability women with money and those with no money are looking for the same guy, which is the guy with money. Ai maan...
Mmmh,being finanicialy compatible with someone is key.That's why sometimes the other partner might feel as if their partner is holding them back because they failing to achieve their financial goals or are unable to live how they wish to live.And yes sometimes its a difficult thing to communicate,i can imagine but ultimately its one of the causes of failed marriages.
I fully understand Stacy to be honest and I think I will ask someone about their credit record because it stops the plans you have. I think in other countries credit record is taken seriously compared to South Africa. I remember one of my friend saying if you pass on the traffic light as pedestrian your credit record can be affected by that.
Hi Nicky... Hard conversations to have but must be had. Sober... I think maybe record the convo because in the moment we might not be paying attention because you might be thinking of what to ask next or your responses instead of really hearing what is being said. Nothing wrong with falling short here and there, be forthcoming about it, don't say but you didn't ask me specifically this or that. Money is the most important, it is everything... its "The Cost of Living" the cost being South African Rands
You're such an amazing story teller!!, now i also want to watch the show as well..i'm invested in the storyline
Finances are so important hey, love alone is not enough. You need to understand what you're getting yourself into and finances are a big indicator and reason why couples end up divorcing so it's not something to take lightly.
Much Love from Namibia 🇳🇦
U r scary... Always dropping exactly what I need... Amazing but scary 😊 stay blessed
Thank you Nikki…this was interesting and informative
I think in an African culture a man should stand up for the family. Therefore getting married as man you should be aware of what you putting yourself into. A wife should be a helping hand . If you content with that I guess everything will go smoothly . Be careful you are not bossing anyone you are playing your part as responsible man. A must do what a man has to do .Thanks sisi for always opening our eyes and making us aware.
"The credit money"🤦🏽♀🤦🏽♀
Father:Love is blind, but love needs to eat (lol)
Eish. As man we just need to make money. Case closed
So profound... hustle hard
Women are hypergamous by nature, they will always look for better. He has to step up...
I love this content 👌🏽
You can definitely right your wrongs
Now I have to go watch 😂😂
I know this is off topic, but this guys is nice, woo muhle shem.
Heyy Financial Bunny👋
These two need to date for a while and learn each other… and teach each other. She needs to give this a guy a chance.. and stop making him live up to the ideal guy she has in her head. Give him a chance to learn and adjust. A woman brings some of an upgrade in a man’s life.. and teaching him about proper kitchenware would be a start. They are not ready to get married. They should allow for things to happen organically. Start by really knowing and learning each other.. and really being open to the other person.
He's an adult, not a child. It's not any woman's job to teach a man how to be a grown up. Not having proper plates in your house is childish and immature. You are correct, it proves he was not ready for marriage.
@@jas1565 I get that. I’m just saying, we’re not raised the same and definitely don’t have the same experiences.. therefore we don’t have the same outlook on things. And everything that is good can be learned. Hence I emphasise on giving each other a chance. I’m sure she has her shortcomings as well. Hence I said they should consider dating and getting to know each other.. as they seem to like each other enough to do that. And him being a grown man, I’m sure he has his strong points that could be just as beneficial to her if she gave him that fair chance to be his best self. Marriage is putting too much pressure on them way too soon.. and that takes away from what they could’ve maybe resolved and learned from each other. I’m not saying she should ignore the red flags.. but them looking to get married too soon and subsequently giving up on the person cos of things coming up is eliminating all positive possibilities had things not rushed. We all want people that take out the best in us.. and that’s a process and it’s both ways. Just my 2c.
The only thing that makes me nervous is him not being her match financially… that will be a challenge. Then if she decides to not continue anything cos of this. And it should be clear that it is them not being on the same level financially. She shouldn’t make him out to be “less worthy or not enough” because of financial preferences. The guy will, hopefully, build himself up. And if she can’t stay for that. That’s fine, but it should be clear. And she shouldn’t come back when he is financially solid🤷🏽♀️.
The paper plates.. and like Nicolette said, the bad credit.. are all temporary and one can be taught or shown better. Again, my 2c.
Lets Netflix and chill
All is fair in love and war
My challenge in general in many cases is that quiet often when finances are discussed in relationships they are mostly centred around the male figure background as if the females financially standings have no impact on the financial stability of the relationship. Even when we trying to check compatability women with money and those with no money are looking for the same guy, which is the guy with money. Ai maan...
Interesting...
Man are providers why you want to change nature … theres no way we are travelling using my money you must step up as a man