i think there are two or three more occasions where he was negative, but most often when he doesn't like a game he tends to make a different video instead of publishing a negative video about it.
The last one I can remember him actively hating in the middle of the video was Homefront. He really hated that one. He even left in all of the recordings of him leaving the table, taking a walk, and swearing about how terrible a time he was having.
Not gonna lie; I almost cried. All the other bad games that still got the outro. The games he had to censored with hedgehogs, the terrible game that's best part was an in-game arcade machine with Time Splitters 2. Unless otherwise stated, I think this is the worst game Jon's ever played.
If Jon, one of the most mild-mannered gamers/streamers on UA-cam, is so dissappointed by a game that he says *"Do Not Buy This Game"* in the _title,_ it's probably a good idea to heed his words. 😳
I really appreciate pissed off Jon because it's such a rare occurrence that it holds more weight. Jon, you should treat yourself to some bugsnax to make yourself feel better.
@@Picnicl It´s just a Jon thing for me now. Most of his titles have some sort of pun in them. So the first thing my brain does is try to solve/understand the pun. Besides, as others have said, it´s rare for Jon to release a video on a game he didn´t like.
@@Picnicl Because it´s not about this title. It´s about the hundreds of other pun titles. This one is a rare exception. Also. not about should or would, but "could" it be a pun? That was my question.
He's done it a few times. There was a top-down animated game where you were a graveyard keeper - called, fittingly enough, Graveyard Keeper - that he didn't recommend, for example. Though he was more disappointed with it than actively offended by it like he was with this game.
Which is worse, XIII Remastered or Ride to Hell : Retribution? Personally I'd go with XIII Remastered since it butchered the original in every way possible. Chair Conversation - Metal Chair : "Why doesn't he use me?" Wooden Chair : "Because you're not breakable, plus you might actually kill someone." The only thing in this game that is priceless are the expressions of dead or knocked out enemies plus the RPG firing itself, the best laugh I've had all year. How sad is that?
Ride to Hell was like somebody who wasn't very artistic trying to paint, and the picture turned out bad. This is like somebody doing a colour by numbers and scribbling over the page.
probably Ride to Hell... just cause you die.. a lot and have to replay sections over and over.. at least this game, the AI is so stupid you won't have to worry much about replaying crappy sections again... But yeah, shame on them for remastering this classic into such a shitstorm. :(
Honestly, I'd argue the opposite. This game has not changed the original, and someone might find the original from this game and the reviews. There is no good Ride to Hell.
Hearing Jon talk about the opening was brilliant. They're so transparent about how lazy they are that he got it immediately and verbalized his thoughts within the opening playing. And that laugh...I've never seen someone lose hope so quickly.
I've never seen Jon so bluntly layout his disapproval with a game. Straight up putting "Don't buy this game" in the title and denying it even the normal Outro. Like, I imagine he records a video for a turd of a game from time to time but usually just bins it rather than uploading it because he doesn't want to unintentionally rain down negative comments and such on the people involved with the game.
Well since he was a fan of the original the disappointment is somewhat understandable. XIII was one of my favorite games as a kid, obviously seeing a remaster being announced last year, I was very excited to experience this game in modern graphics and gameplay, and for the possibility of a sequel to finish the story. And then the actual game being this bad is just a kick in the balls. I mean it's not like you couldn't see this from a mile away, every teaser and trailer before release screamed a complete lack of imagination and creativity (golden gun skins as a preorder bonus, really, how more lame can you get?), and it's not like the dev team had a great track record either. Still, the whole situation just sucks a bit
WOW.. that does not look at all visually appealing. It looks like it the game has a fish eye filter applied to it... and the devs have simultaneously issued an apology and blamed the rona... Yeah, just buy the original, its six bucks on steam.
I’m all for treating employees better in The software industry, I’m a software engineer myself and less crunch sounds wonderful. But if you take a productivity hit from the rona, and your game is a remake of a 15 year old game, there’s no time pressure. Push back the release. Of course the real answer is this was always a joyless cash grab and even if a pandemic never happened it would always have been utter garbage
honestly.... I’m about to mention this game to my game design teacher to see if he can use it to find examples of what *not* to do. First few minutes and there are so many issues that don’t even make sense to be going wrong... like basic controls. Meanwhile from a visual design standpoint, it does indeed have a fish eye filter on it... look at the corner of the screens it gets blurry in the corners and focused in the center.... which is just wrong on so many levels. It’s giving me a headache in a few minutes, and I work in front of a screen for hours a day. Also the lighting, seriously the lighting is absolute garbage, everything is super bright with no shadows in the opening beach area. Lighting is an art form and when expertly executed it makes nearly anything look amazing. Even my teacher said the best way to make a finished object look better is to add lighting. (It works) Here’s what’s super awkward though, I’m trying to get a good look at the models and... they actually aren’t that terrible... I think... the fisheye is making it hard to tell. Let’s just say I’ve seen worse, a lot worse. Even in high budget games. Animation is a bit rough, but that’s a different department than base models and textures. and reminds me of the animation typical of games that have the tech of triple A companies but not the budget. So the Fisheye filter isn’t likely covering up for some huge shortcomings. They applied it probably as an “artistic” choice, even though I bet the game would look significantly better without it, given they also fixed the lighting a little bit.
@@martyshrekster I'd kinda understand if they put in the borough flag of Brooklyn, even though nobody uses it (or knows it exists), since it shows up as an option on wikipedia. but a whole different city/state???
It´s really sad that this game is so bad. I played the original quite a bit so this pains me that they flipped this up so badly. Oh well. EDIT: Holy Shit this is abysmal. They butchered this game
I like how different are your reaction to the title and reaction to the gameplay. lol I did the same thing. I was like "man i am sad that they couldn't do good remaster for a masterpiece." Then, I watched the gameplay and I was like "are they all blind? who the hell are the devs for this shit? why didn't they fix basic animations? how the hell dying animations stuck in the pre-alpha tentative stage? Holy shit."
Should of just gave us a 4k bug fixed version forget remaking it just fix the bug how fucking hard is that but no the original with bugs is still better than this lol
I never read the comic but I played the game when it was on GameCube when I was a kid, it blew me away with the gameplay tbh I still don’t even know what the story is about I just remember how fun shooting and graphics were.
Me: Remembers the 2 videos about Journey where Jon ended by saying there were enough cynical British gaming UA-camrs and wanted to be more positive in his videos. Jon: Do not buy this game. Me: Oh. Oh no. Edit: Adding details on the Journey videos here instead of adding more comments. Plenty of people have said Jon wasn't cynical in his Journey videos. Those comments were saying he was expressing his opinion. Not all were agreeing with his conclusion, but they still acknowledged that it was his opinion. Afterwards (part of the ending) Jon was talking about how the whole experience wasn't fun and wanted to steer away from that. Controversy isn't a thing he enjoys. This isn't in the beginning because I didn't want to front load a joke. Last thing; I remembered TotalBiscuits passing after posting the comment. I don't know what to say. I hope I wasn't insensitive or mean-spirited. If there's a way I can make it better, I'd love too. He was a wonderful person, and gone too soon. The last thing his fans need is a half-assed apology.
Well I think it's fine. Jon wasn't even being very cynical in this video, he just stated the truth and how this game doesn't come anywhere near the original.
@@cartermariano Homefront:The Revolution was the only one I thought of, where he put audio in of him literally having to walk away and take a break from the computer because the game was so shit but he was only playing it to get to the bonus game hidden within, Timesplitters 2. It also included censored uses of "fuck" because he hated it that much. But yeah, first Homefront was also awful. Ryse he half hated half found hysterical because of how inaccurate it was.
Resident Evil 6. I'm surprised he made more than one episode of that series. Only series he's ever abandoned. The other games he hated were all one off shows. RE6 I think is the only series he's abandoned for being totally crap.
"This game doesn't deserve our usual outtro...bye" LOL I think you have a new series on your hands. Review really bad games and make fun of them. Love your work. keep it up!
@@Puremindgames The original is available on GOG updated to run on the latest hardware an OS's completely DRM free, can be played in HD etc, it is the definitive version of a great game.
Well for americans with the right... attitude it's probably still ok. His issues were the "plot" not so much the gameplay. This here everything is just bad.
"This game doesn't deserve our usual outro, so BYE" Been watching Jon for who knows how many years, that quote is a first. I don't think I've ever heard him go so negative on a game. Having played the original XIII, I have to agree with him. Glad I watched and saved the cash.
Jon, you are genuinely one of the most sincere, hard working Game Reviewers in the business. To hear that the first game that you have ever properly reviewed on your channel has been turned into an atrocity... It hurts. I am pained by this. I am so sorry this happened.
Bad management rushing it out, probably. All of the issues shown in the video aside from the art-style are just normal, run of the mill bugs that happen in development of every game. It's not particularly incompetent to make those mistakes. What *is* incompetent is forcing a release of a game in that state.
17:53 "Dan, have you heard that thunderous bang that almost made me deaf like a while ago, something like a shotgun shot in a closed space? Oh hell how did you get here?!"
I would love to see Jim cover this. Though it'd need to be a new entry into the Squirty Play series, because that's how low-quality this is. There are asset flips out there that are legitimately better than this game.
The funniest thing is.. it could have still gotten worse. Imagine if they'd have pulled a kingdoms of amalur.. and released this.. while simultaneously removing all ability to buy the original game
My favorite thing about this channel is that it offers genuinely fair reviews. Games aren't just 0 or 5 stars, the reviews are always nuanced and fair. I have been subbed since the fallout 3 Yolo days and have never seen a game on this channel that genuinely deserves a terrible review. Every piece of the game is a downgrade. Not a single thing was improved. It failed in every aspect of a remaster. Wow.
The only memory of this game that I have is Dan from NerdCubed playing it about 5 years ago and thinking it looked really fun... what an absolute butchering of a remake :(
Damn, I remember my older brother showing this game to me even though I was way to young for it, and always wanting to play it. But even looking at this, it feels way to different for me.
When I saw them advertising it on GOG saying it's a "new art direction" I was immediately suspicious of a cheap cash grab. Literally the most distinctive thing about the first game and they just ditch it?
I recently learned of this game a few years ago and was shocked I never heard or came across it before. I am very nostalgic for the PS2 and that whole comic book, cell-shaded look speaks to my core and when I heard of the remaster, I was excited to be able to finally experience the game in 1080p. I completely forgot about the game until I saw this video pop up and disappointingly saw the title. I figured what the hell, might as well watch the video to understand your take (I never have watched your videos before) as we all have games we ended up loving despite terrible reviews. 1:30 in and I'm already worried by some of those animations and how the game looks and barely 2 mins in and we've already lost that cell shaded magic. And by 3:30, we've already reached actual game breaking bugs. I'm so disappointed as you brought up, this seemed foolproof, just update the resolution and keep it all original (I suspect the cell shading aspect of the game made this impossible or too costy) but not even 5 minutes in and I'm stopping to type this because I can only imagine your own disappointment. My condolences to having a beloved game done so dirty, but you got a new sub out of it haha
Internet, you've all probably seen the "Monkey Christ" failed artwork restoration, or more recently the same thing happening with "The Potato Head of Palencia" sculpture. I wonder why I'm thinking about those on this particular video. At least the original XIII still exists in this case, and no piece of cultural significance was fully destroyed.
Yeah, this is essentially game restoration and they've ruined the original. Watching this as a hobbyist gamedev makes me understand how my aunt, who works at painting restoration, feels about those shitty restoration jobs. (Also, us Spanish are on a roll, huh?)
@@rikamayhem An unfortunate roll to be sure. There were a few more instances I could've dropped, but... I figured most well known and most recent (that I was aware of) would suffice. These also had the best nicknames. Hopefully that all can at least lead to a more strict vetting of would be restorers. In the same vain, hopefully this can serve as a lesson for future remasters. Sometimes less is more. You're bringing this game to a modern audience because the original deserves it... Kindly bring the "same" game to us, make your modifications tasteful and/or necessary. I see no value in a remaster such as this, save perhaps as a warning to others. As Jon himself said, those responsible for this should feel deeply embarrassed.
This is so disappointing. I used to watch my dad play this when I was a kid, probably my very first video game I played; it therefore holds a very special place in my heart. Seeing the lack of care and love invested into this "remaster" just has me feeling hollow. Jon, I recommend you take a look at one of the real classics of cell shading, like the original XIII or even Jet Set Radio. Hopefully that would wash this rancid taste from all of our mouths.
I bet they slashed the developer's budget to zero halfway through making the game. It's the situation that makes the most sense. Like, all the asset guys brought their A game, but once it got into the level design and gameplay designer's hands, the money went: "POOF!"
I wanted to check the reviews for this on steam... problem is: I can't seem to find the game anymore. Did they seriously take it down? ^-^ Edit: nvm; found it - it's not called "XIII Remastered" it's just XIII. I hate when games do this.
Such a shame. I actually tried the original a couple years ago cause I digged the art style. But beyond the cool presentation, I felt the gameplay/gunplay was pretty mediocre. They had a chance to really up things in that department and they completely failed, and they don't even have that cool comic book-cel shaded art to fall back on - the visuals are actually worse.
That "Bye." sounded genuinely upset, Jon. We're here for you, we share in your misery and disappointment. Thank you on behalf of the many people looking forward to this when they heard about it for taking that bullet for us and playing it and warning us, showing us how bad it was.
I noticed in the first combat encounter that getting shot did 5 damage to jon. Out of 100. You can get shot twenty times and live. EDIT: while escaping the fbi building he got shot for 1 damage by a handgun lol
Wow, what a shoddy mess! Was this even playtested? They took all of the charm of the original, put it in the bin and then churned out this soulless husk. Pretty shameful,
15:35 Why does this FBI office in Brooklyn have the distinctive flag of St. Louis, Missouri in the hall? I don't recognize the other one exactly but it looks an awful lot like the flag of Missouri with the bears edited out.
8:40 and the gun vibrates due to.. physics glitches? Did they accidentally use a 32bit float for all their physics stuff and set the map way off of the origin??
God damnit this is such bullshit. The first game didn't get the recognition it deserved and this remake has only embarrassed everyone and everything involved with it... some games just don't have any luck. Hopefully this will like encourage people to find original versions/copies of the game or something :/
I loved this game as a younger person when it first came out. It was really good, the music and game play and artistic style. Had a lot of elements of goldeneye but more updated feel at the time. I just recently learned they remastered it and im sad to see it wasn't a good remaster. That said the worst thing about the original is rhe story ended on a massive cliffhanger so I was mostly here to see if they maybe changed the story? Always wanted to see a sequel to this game to pick up where the original left off, sad to see this is what was came up with instead.
That was such a fantastic game! Especially the jazz soundtrack. I played it a few times and would have gladly played a shot-by-shot remake. If only it was good. They could have made more money on sequels.
It feels like nobody play tested it before release P.S I bought it not knowing what it was and how bad it is. I put in like 3 hours, and while I've not seen all the same bugs John saw (his start was way worst than mine) , I had sound problems with the reload and draw/holster playing after the animation is done, bodies that I picked up and then set down phased through stuff, and at times I couldn't pick up things like weapons and items or interact with level critical stuff like the generator switches
I remember playing the original XIII game finished it twice and it was so fucking good... The fact that they managed to make really good boss fights in a First person shooter is what's VERY Lacking in a lot of good FPS games, hell Deus Ex: Human Revolution was lacking in it too! Its really sad that we didn't get a sequel and the fact that they butchered a remaster? Something that should've been so fucking easy to do, especially with cell shaded game is unacceptable!
16:33, that oohmpf sounds like a oohmpf sound I also use for a game I work on (as placeholder). It comes with a free unity package for basic game sounds.
I found a copy of the original game at a thrift store a couple of weeks ago, but I've been having trouble installing the game. I get to disc 2 and it just stops the installation itself. I tried installing it with an unofficial windows 10 installer, but it kept telling me to insert disc 1, despite it already being inserted. I figured I'd ask here for help, as I'm not that familiar with PC gaming. If anyone could help me, that would be much appreciated. I honestly didnt realize there was a remake coming out until I looked for ways to fix my problem. Probably for the best.
I...I don't think I've ever seen Jon say anything so negative about any game he has ever featured. This scares me.
Same 😬
He's very clear about how qualified and small potatoes any positive in Fallout 76 is
Yeah, it's actually a bit shocking how blunt he is. Usually he tries to be nice about it, at least.
i think there are two or three more occasions where he was negative, but most often when he doesn't like a game he tends to make a different video instead of publishing a negative video about it.
The last one I can remember him actively hating in the middle of the video was Homefront. He really hated that one. He even left in all of the recordings of him leaving the table, taking a walk, and swearing about how terrible a time he was having.
"This game actually doesn't deserve our usual outro. Bye."
Ouch
Not gonna lie; I almost cried. All the other bad games that still got the outro. The games he had to censored with hedgehogs, the terrible game that's best part was an in-game arcade machine with Time Splitters 2. Unless otherwise stated, I think this is the worst game Jon's ever played.
@@petermiddelkoop110 homefront revolution was alright.
Not even the end video. You hate to see it
@@petermiddelkoop110 Could you tell me what those two are called?
“Do Not Buy This Game”
Done. I trust you Jon.
Agreed. He actually is a very good judge of things like game mechanics, and that is not even including his actual analysis videos!
I can do that !
I'm gonna listen to his wise words!
Like him I loved the OG XIII and wasn't really gonna get it and now I know I'll never get it xD
Wow, this didn't even hit 30 minutes. Jon HATES this game.
That pretty much sums up, what I got out of the video.... yeah!
I clicked wondering if this was a joke "Don't Buy," but wow. Legit warning from Jon. But I trust his opinions.
Not even a proper end card too, just ends
I've been subbed for as long as I can remember and I think it's the only time I've ever seen him post anything with even a remotely negative title...
He don’t hate the game he hates “This Game”
If Jon, one of the most mild-mannered gamers/streamers on UA-cam, is so dissappointed by a game that he says *"Do Not Buy This Game"* in the _title,_ it's probably a good idea to heed his words. 😳
Agreed
The biggest travesty in this video is that he played the game for more than 5 minutes.
I really appreciate pissed off Jon because it's such a rare occurrence that it holds more weight.
Jon, you should treat yourself to some bugsnax to make yourself feel better.
the titles not a pun... my god what hell is this
It took me a few seconds of trying to find some double/hidden meaning or joke in that title. Then I realized he was serious...
Why would your default be to think that title should or would be a pun? What about 'Do not buy this game' could be a pun?
@@Picnicl It´s just a Jon thing for me now. Most of his titles have some sort of pun in them. So the first thing my brain does is try to solve/understand the pun. Besides, as others have said, it´s rare for Jon to release a video on a game he didn´t like.
@@Picnicl Because it´s not about this title. It´s about the hundreds of other pun titles. This one is a rare exception. Also. not about should or would, but "could" it be a pun? That was my question.
@@johnyshadow OK. I wasn't familiar with his work.
I was already going to not buy this game at some point, but after seeing this, I've decided to not buy it immediately. Thanks!
Money's a bit tight this week so instead of not buying it now I'll not buy it after next payday.
Maybe if we get another stimulus check I'll not buy it.
Yea I giggled...sue me
Good advice, I’ll immediately not buy it!
@@PoopSunday I'd sue you but you probably don't have shit for me to sue you for..... So I'll sue u next year.
I...eh... have never seen Jon not recommend a game, I am scared
Eh... this and maybe Homefront
I thought it was a joke at first myself 😋.
2020 is truly brought us the worst.
Not just not recommend it -- he actively recommends against it.
He's done it a few times. There was a top-down animated game where you were a graveyard keeper - called, fittingly enough, Graveyard Keeper - that he didn't recommend, for example. Though he was more disappointed with it than actively offended by it like he was with this game.
Which is worse, XIII Remastered or Ride to Hell : Retribution?
Personally I'd go with XIII Remastered since it butchered the original in every way possible.
Chair Conversation -
Metal Chair : "Why doesn't he use me?"
Wooden Chair : "Because you're not breakable, plus you might actually kill someone."
The only thing in this game that is priceless are the expressions of dead or knocked out enemies plus the RPG firing itself, the best laugh I've had all year. How sad is that?
Ride to Hell was at least fun to watch on some occasions, this one is just... ugly, that's the word.
Ride to Hell was like somebody who wasn't very artistic trying to paint, and the picture turned out bad.
This is like somebody doing a colour by numbers and scribbling over the page.
the death animations are as if the AI gets reset to a t-pose, and then crumbles in on itself
probably Ride to Hell... just cause you die.. a lot and have to replay sections over and over..
at least this game, the AI is so stupid you won't have to worry much about replaying crappy sections again...
But yeah, shame on them for remastering this classic into such a shitstorm. :(
Honestly, I'd argue the opposite. This game has not changed the original, and someone might find the original from this game and the reviews.
There is no good Ride to Hell.
Hearing Jon talk about the opening was brilliant.
They're so transparent about how lazy they are that he got it immediately and verbalized his thoughts within the opening playing.
And that laugh...I've never seen someone lose hope so quickly.
it is fair to say that he was warned by the steam reviews.
I've never seen Jon so bluntly layout his disapproval with a game. Straight up putting "Don't buy this game" in the title and denying it even the normal Outro. Like, I imagine he records a video for a turd of a game from time to time but usually just bins it rather than uploading it because he doesn't want to unintentionally rain down negative comments and such on the people involved with the game.
Well since he was a fan of the original the disappointment is somewhat understandable. XIII was one of my favorite games as a kid, obviously seeing a remaster being announced last year, I was very excited to experience this game in modern graphics and gameplay, and for the possibility of a sequel to finish the story. And then the actual game being this bad is just a kick in the balls. I mean it's not like you couldn't see this from a mile away, every teaser and trailer before release screamed a complete lack of imagination and creativity (golden gun skins as a preorder bonus, really, how more lame can you get?), and it's not like the dev team had a great track record either. Still, the whole situation just sucks a bit
WOW.. that does not look at all visually appealing. It looks like it the game has a fish eye filter applied to it... and the devs have simultaneously issued an apology and blamed the rona... Yeah, just buy the original, its six bucks on steam.
And it's even on sale currently
If the virus caused so many problems, why didn't they just delay the game?
I’m all for treating employees better in The software industry, I’m a software engineer myself and less crunch sounds wonderful. But if you take a productivity hit from the rona, and your game is a remake of a 15 year old game, there’s no time pressure. Push back the release. Of course the real answer is this was always a joyless cash grab and even if a pandemic never happened it would always have been utter garbage
honestly.... I’m about to mention this game to my game design teacher to see if he can use it to find examples of what *not* to do. First few minutes and there are so many issues that don’t even make sense to be going wrong... like basic controls. Meanwhile from a visual design standpoint, it does indeed have a fish eye filter on it... look at the corner of the screens it gets blurry in the corners and focused in the center.... which is just wrong on so many levels. It’s giving me a headache in a few minutes, and I work in front of a screen for hours a day.
Also the lighting, seriously the lighting is absolute garbage, everything is super bright with no shadows in the opening beach area. Lighting is an art form and when expertly executed it makes nearly anything look amazing. Even my teacher said the best way to make a finished object look better is to add lighting. (It works)
Here’s what’s super awkward though, I’m trying to get a good look at the models and... they actually aren’t that terrible... I think... the fisheye is making it hard to tell. Let’s just say I’ve seen worse, a lot worse. Even in high budget games. Animation is a bit rough, but that’s a different department than base models and textures. and reminds me of the animation typical of games that have the tech of triple A companies but not the budget. So the Fisheye filter isn’t likely covering up for some huge shortcomings. They applied it probably as an “artistic” choice, even though I bet the game would look significantly better without it, given they also fixed the lighting a little bit.
It's not excusing anything but with a titan like Cyberpunk just around the corner, delaying would have also hit the sales...
"Secret Offices of the FBI - Brooklyn" - the hallway is filled with the city flag of St. Louis, MO.
even their added set dressing was half-assed
That's what makes the office so secret, not even level designers know where it's supposed to be.
Along with the Missouri flag. I don't even understand how they could make that mistake.
@@martyshrekster I'd kinda understand if they put in the borough flag of Brooklyn, even though nobody uses it (or knows it exists), since it shows up as an option on wikipedia. but a whole different city/state???
I lived in St. Louis for 16 years and I had no fucking idea there was a St. Louis flag.
It´s really sad that this game is so bad. I played the original quite a bit so this pains me that they flipped this up so badly. Oh well.
EDIT: Holy Shit this is abysmal. They butchered this game
LOOK WHAT THEY DID TO MY BABY BOY!
I mean they remove the cell shading from XIII. You know enough at that point.
Is it not Holy Poop?.........to go with the flipping.
@@icameisawicringed6644 This "game" deserves no such niceties.
I like how different are your reaction to the title and reaction to the gameplay. lol
I did the same thing. I was like "man i am sad that they couldn't do good remaster for a masterpiece." Then, I watched the gameplay and I was like "are they all blind? who the hell are the devs for this shit? why didn't they fix basic animations? how the hell dying animations stuck in the pre-alpha tentative stage? Holy shit."
So XIII Remastered is basically someone's first try on programming....Should be called XIII Demastered
XIII Death
XIII reamateured
First time at coding for a programmer that doesn't want to do it lol
Should of just gave us a 4k bug fixed version forget remaking it just fix the bug how fucking hard is that but no the original with bugs is still better than this lol
That is the most blunt title I have ever seen. Love it John!
No ‘h’ in Jon you twat
@@alpha1beta1gamma You're correct, but still being a twat yourself about it
every true gamer has lived to see some cherished nostalgic classic absolutely destroyed by incompetence and greed.
Fallout, Mafia, Assassins Creed, the list goes on.
I think you meant "many a true gamer"
I read the comics when i was way too young for them, and im very miffed at this game
I never read the comic but I played the game when it was on GameCube when I was a kid, it blew me away with the gameplay tbh I still don’t even know what the story is about I just remember how fun shooting and graphics were.
Wait, there's comics!?
I liked the tv series
@@callumpeterson7898 yeah, the games is based on a comic series
What are the fucking odds that we have the same exact pfp???? I've been using this pfp for more than a decade!
Me: Remembers the 2 videos about Journey where Jon ended by saying there were enough cynical British gaming UA-camrs and wanted to be more positive in his videos.
Jon: Do not buy this game.
Me: Oh. Oh no.
Edit: Adding details on the Journey videos here instead of adding more comments. Plenty of people have said Jon wasn't cynical in his Journey videos. Those comments were saying he was expressing his opinion. Not all were agreeing with his conclusion, but they still acknowledged that it was his opinion. Afterwards (part of the ending) Jon was talking about how the whole experience wasn't fun and wanted to steer away from that. Controversy isn't a thing he enjoys. This isn't in the beginning because I didn't want to front load a joke. Last thing; I remembered TotalBiscuits passing after posting the comment. I don't know what to say. I hope I wasn't insensitive or mean-spirited. If there's a way I can make it better, I'd love too. He was a wonderful person, and gone too soon. The last thing his fans need is a half-assed apology.
Well I think it's fine. Jon wasn't even being very cynical in this video, he just stated the truth and how this game doesn't come anywhere near the original.
@jocaguz18 Had the pleasure of meeting him once. Lovely bloke.
@jocaguz18 We lost one? OMG, did one die or?? What happened?
@@elisabetta611 Gonna guess they're referring to TotalBiscuit, aka The Cynical Brit.
This is the first time I've ever seen Jon hate a game.
Check his videos of Journey and Dark Souls 1.
@@Cyfrik Also Ryse and Homefront.
I know right? You know a game is garbage if even Jon can't find the good in it 😶.
@@cartermariano Homefront:The Revolution was the only one I thought of, where he put audio in of him literally having to walk away and take a break from the computer because the game was so shit but he was only playing it to get to the bonus game hidden within, Timesplitters 2. It also included censored uses of "fuck" because he hated it that much. But yeah, first Homefront was also awful.
Ryse he half hated half found hysterical because of how inaccurate it was.
Resident Evil 6. I'm surprised he made more than one episode of that series. Only series he's ever abandoned. The other games he hated were all one off shows. RE6 I think is the only series he's abandoned for being totally crap.
"This game doesn't deserve our usual outtro...bye" LOL
I think you have a new series on your hands. Review really bad games and make fun of them.
Love your work. keep it up!
I think I've never, or rarely, ever heard Jon say, "Don't buy this."
and yeah. definitely.
To be fair, an RPG doesn't have eyes. Of course it wouldn't aim that well.
Such a shame,the original was really something else back in the day,well at least for me,I really like cell shaded games.
You mean is, the original still exists, thank god.
for me the original still holds up. it works and has style
@@Puremindgames The original is available on GOG updated to run on the latest hardware an OS's completely DRM free, can be played in HD etc, it is the definitive version of a great game.
@@Wobble2007 OK, I didn't say it wasn't.
Some of y'all haven't seen Jon's Homefront: The Revolution video and it shows
At least the controls mostly functioned on that
may we get link?
@@manueltellez9460 just search it
That's a throwback. Goddamn, 2016 was almost 5 years ago...
Well for americans with the right... attitude it's probably still ok. His issues were the "plot" not so much the gameplay.
This here everything is just bad.
"This game doesn't deserve our usual outro, so BYE" Been watching Jon for who knows how many years, that quote is a first. I don't think I've ever heard him go so negative on a game. Having played the original XIII, I have to agree with him. Glad I watched and saved the cash.
Jon, you are genuinely one of the most sincere, hard working Game Reviewers in the business. To hear that the first game that you have ever properly reviewed on your channel has been turned into an atrocity... It hurts. I am pained by this.
I am so sorry this happened.
it's really isn't a "Remaster" more a "shoddily put together rebuild".
When he looked down and the corridor tilted I genuinely snorted, incredible.
Edit: Oh god it got so much worse
How did this get released? has this had ANY testing? and if it did, why didn't they listen to the results of it?
Bad management rushing it out, probably. All of the issues shown in the video aside from the art-style are just normal, run of the mill bugs that happen in development of every game. It's not particularly incompetent to make those mistakes. What *is* incompetent is forcing a release of a game in that state.
17:53 "Dan, have you heard that thunderous bang that almost made me deaf like a while ago, something like a shotgun shot in a closed space? Oh hell how did you get here?!"
Less than ten minutes in and I can already hear Jon’s sanity slipping
Feel's like a game Jim Sterling would give an impression videos on.
That said, can we get a video on the original XIII? For comparison sake.
I would love to see Jim cover this. Though it'd need to be a new entry into the Squirty Play series, because that's how low-quality this is. There are asset flips out there that are legitimately better than this game.
Jon already did a video on XIII.
@@tarnvedra9952 I know. But consider it it a "Remaster"!
This game was so bad that my damn server browser crashed trying to load the video
Well, next time someone complains that a game is filled with minor bugs, ill say "At least it isnt XIII remastered"
The funniest thing is.. it could have still gotten worse. Imagine if they'd have pulled a kingdoms of amalur.. and released this.. while simultaneously removing all ability to buy the original game
@@FluffyDragon thatll be on the warcraft 3 reforged level of dickery.
Title felt clickbaity but its what brought me here. Excellent commentary, Jon, and thanks for the link to the original.
It feels more like Jon being pissed off
My favorite thing about this channel is that it offers genuinely fair reviews. Games aren't just 0 or 5 stars, the reviews are always nuanced and fair. I have been subbed since the fallout 3 Yolo days and have never seen a game on this channel that genuinely deserves a terrible review. Every piece of the game is a downgrade. Not a single thing was improved. It failed in every aspect of a remaster. Wow.
6 minutes in and I understand why Jon don't want us to buy this game. Thank you Jon
I made it 4:30, not looking forward to the next 1:30 then
“He lost me..... that’s.... impressive”. Yes, John, that is one way of looking at it.
the title and length of this video makes me worried
what in gods name did you find jon
This looks like a Tell Tale game on meth.
That's too much of a compliment, lol.
Yes but this game is less buggy than a Tell Tale game
@@RedDragon1444 And yet it's shit in every other way
Since my only "worry" with Jon is that he can tend to be *TOO* positive sometimes, if he tells me to not buy something I will trust his judgement.
They took a perfectly timeless game ported it into a modern engine and ruined everything that made it unique or even remotely playable.
The only memory of this game that I have is Dan from NerdCubed playing it about 5 years ago and thinking it looked really fun... what an absolute butchering of a remake :(
I got this for £6 in a sale and it’s actually so good. I never played the original and I really enjoyed this.
Damn, I remember my older brother showing this game to me even though I was way to young for it, and always wanting to play it. But even looking at this, it feels way to different for me.
When I saw them advertising it on GOG saying it's a "new art direction" I was immediately suspicious of a cheap cash grab. Literally the most distinctive thing about the first game and they just ditch it?
OG XIII: Comic style
Remake XIII: Make it look like a crappy fps game you get on mobile.
jesus, overwhelmingly negative on steam. that's rare
I trust you Jon, I wont buy it
But I hope the original gets more support because of this
I've never heard Jon be so heartbroken and disappointed.
THE THIS IS FINE DOG IN THE THUMBNAIL, I CAN’T-
I recently learned of this game a few years ago and was shocked I never heard or came across it before. I am very nostalgic for the PS2 and that whole comic book, cell-shaded look speaks to my core and when I heard of the remaster, I was excited to be able to finally experience the game in 1080p. I completely forgot about the game until I saw this video pop up and disappointingly saw the title. I figured what the hell, might as well watch the video to understand your take (I never have watched your videos before) as we all have games we ended up loving despite terrible reviews. 1:30 in and I'm already worried by some of those animations and how the game looks and barely 2 mins in and we've already lost that cell shaded magic. And by 3:30, we've already reached actual game breaking bugs.
I'm so disappointed as you brought up, this seemed foolproof, just update the resolution and keep it all original (I suspect the cell shading aspect of the game made this impossible or too costy) but not even 5 minutes in and I'm stopping to type this because I can only imagine your own disappointment. My condolences to having a beloved game done so dirty, but you got a new sub out of it haha
Oh no, Jon never does bad reviews, this one must be especially egregious
Internet, you've all probably seen the "Monkey Christ" failed artwork restoration, or more recently the same thing happening with "The Potato Head of Palencia" sculpture. I wonder why I'm thinking about those on this particular video.
At least the original XIII still exists in this case, and no piece of cultural significance was fully destroyed.
Yeah, this is essentially game restoration and they've ruined the original. Watching this as a hobbyist gamedev makes me understand how my aunt, who works at painting restoration, feels about those shitty restoration jobs.
(Also, us Spanish are on a roll, huh?)
@@rikamayhem An unfortunate roll to be sure. There were a few more instances I could've dropped, but... I figured most well known and most recent (that I was aware of) would suffice. These also had the best nicknames.
Hopefully that all can at least lead to a more strict vetting of would be restorers.
In the same vain, hopefully this can serve as a lesson for future remasters. Sometimes less is more. You're bringing this game to a modern audience because the original deserves it... Kindly bring the "same" game to us, make your modifications tasteful and/or necessary. I see no value in a remaster such as this, save perhaps as a warning to others. As Jon himself said, those responsible for this should feel deeply embarrassed.
What have they done the absolute bastards. XIII is a masterpiece.
"This is just embarrassing for everyone who worked on this"
This is so disappointing. I used to watch my dad play this when I was a kid, probably my very first video game I played; it therefore holds a very special place in my heart. Seeing the lack of care and love invested into this "remaster" just has me feeling hollow.
Jon, I recommend you take a look at one of the real classics of cell shading, like the original XIII or even Jet Set Radio. Hopefully that would wash this rancid taste from all of our mouths.
Ah yes one guy casually walks about with a wooden chair while killing armed security guards with 1 wack
Believe me. It made more sense in the comic book world that XIII was originally in. It seems so out of place in a 3D environment with 3D actors.
21:50 - The gun only makes noise if you hit them. The audio trigger is ON HIT, not ON FIRE???!!
That boat part reminded me of when I tried to make fps move controls in Unity for the first time.
It's like... non alcoholic beer.
6:15 Prime opportunity missed for a 'just like the devs bottled this game'
Made it to 3:44 before audibly saying "oh... oh no..."
I mean, if Jon says... I shall not get ahold of this game
I bet they slashed the developer's budget to zero halfway through making the game. It's the situation that makes the most sense. Like, all the asset guys brought their A game, but once it got into the level design and gameplay designer's hands, the money went: "POOF!"
Hey was wondering if you would ever do a Mass Effect 3 run? Maybe when the remasters are released?
I ask as I have been binging your other MEs, nearly done with the insanity run :)
Holy shit. Give that first enemy a medal, you broke a chair over his head and he didn't even blink!
Fancy a Playthrough of the original to cheer you up?
I wanted to check the reviews for this on steam... problem is: I can't seem to find the game anymore. Did they seriously take it down? ^-^
Edit: nvm; found it - it's not called "XIII Remastered" it's just XIII. I hate when games do this.
Jon sounds like this actually hurt him emotionally.
Such a shame. I actually tried the original a couple years ago cause I digged the art style. But beyond the cool presentation, I felt the gameplay/gunplay was pretty mediocre. They had a chance to really up things in that department and they completely failed, and they don't even have that cool comic book-cel shaded art to fall back on - the visuals are actually worse.
Personally I have no nostalgia for this game. I never even knew about it.
But this looks like it could be a hilarious speedrun
Thanks for the link to the classic version of XIII. I'm going to have a good time going through it again.
That "Bye." sounded genuinely upset, Jon.
We're here for you, we share in your misery and disappointment.
Thank you on behalf of the many people looking forward to this when they heard about it for taking that bullet for us and playing it and warning us, showing us how bad it was.
I noticed in the first combat encounter that getting shot did 5 damage to jon. Out of 100. You can get shot twenty times and live.
EDIT: while escaping the fbi building he got shot for 1 damage by a handgun lol
The title alone is enough for me to like this video
What's the opposite of a remaster? An unmastering? A enfuckening?
Wow, what a shoddy mess! Was this even playtested? They took all of the charm of the original, put it in the bin and then churned out this soulless husk. Pretty shameful,
I love how the dead enemies just lie there like Real Dolls.
I learned Blender last month and I made better cars than this.
15:35 Why does this FBI office in Brooklyn have the distinctive flag of St. Louis, Missouri in the hall? I don't recognize the other one exactly but it looks an awful lot like the flag of Missouri with the bears edited out.
It's not remastered, it's a remake.
..and suck so bad:(
*Demake
It's not a remake, it's a theymake.....as in theymake it worse.
XIII Disastered
yoooooooo
8:40 and the gun vibrates due to.. physics glitches? Did they accidentally use a 32bit float for all their physics stuff and set the map way off of the origin??
The devs of this have been in the business for 35 years. Hm.
God damnit this is such bullshit. The first game didn't get the recognition it deserved and this remake has only embarrassed everyone and everything involved with it... some games just don't have any luck. Hopefully this will like encourage people to find original versions/copies of the game or something :/
Hello I can't think of anything to say , but love jon's videos.
NOOOOOOOO!!!! I LOVED XIII! I've been waiting for a sequel for so long, this video low key broke my heart....
Make a video about the KFC dating sim
Insert Steve carrell gif here
7:36 Jon nonchalantly executes this guy while he's having a whole seizure lmao
I loved this game as a younger person when it first came out. It was really good, the music and game play and artistic style. Had a lot of elements of goldeneye but more updated feel at the time. I just recently learned they remastered it and im sad to see it wasn't a good remaster. That said the worst thing about the original is rhe story ended on a massive cliffhanger so I was mostly here to see if they maybe changed the story? Always wanted to see a sequel to this game to pick up where the original left off, sad to see this is what was came up with instead.
That was such a fantastic game! Especially the jazz soundtrack. I played it a few times and would have gladly played a shot-by-shot remake. If only it was good. They could have made more money on sequels.
It feels like nobody play tested it before release
P.S I bought it not knowing what it was and how bad it is.
I put in like 3 hours, and while I've not seen all the same bugs John saw (his start was way worst than mine) , I had sound problems with the reload and draw/holster playing after the animation is done, bodies that I picked up and then set down phased through stuff, and at times I couldn't pick up things like weapons and items or interact with level critical stuff like the generator switches
Could some of these issues be a bad port?
Is multiplayer any good nobody on youtube has showed that mode yet
I remember playing the original XIII game finished it twice and it was so fucking good... The fact that they managed to make really good boss fights in a First person shooter is what's VERY Lacking in a lot of good FPS games, hell Deus Ex: Human Revolution was lacking in it too!
Its really sad that we didn't get a sequel and the fact that they butchered a remaster? Something that should've been so fucking easy to do, especially with cell shaded game is unacceptable!
The look reminds me of the "This is how mafia works" commercials. But the quality might actually be worse..
16:33, that oohmpf sounds like a oohmpf sound I also use for a game I work on (as placeholder). It comes with a free unity package for basic game sounds.
I found a copy of the original game at a thrift store a couple of weeks ago, but I've been having trouble installing the game. I get to disc 2 and it just stops the installation itself. I tried installing it with an unofficial windows 10 installer, but it kept telling me to insert disc 1, despite it already being inserted. I figured I'd ask here for help, as I'm not that familiar with PC gaming. If anyone could help me, that would be much appreciated. I honestly didnt realize there was a remake coming out until I looked for ways to fix my problem. Probably for the best.
Did I hear the stock sudden moment of shock sound effect at 9:10 ?