One of best comedians of my life time. This material was free and he does not have to give his great stuff on public tv anymore. So haters will be hating and they for sure aren't probably funny at same time. The end.
He hasn't lost his touch. People saying he is boring now or whatever, are people who probably didn't like him in the first place. His humor is awesome and wholesome. Louis C.K wishes he could make people laugh without making them throw up first.
+Lo LawL Louis CK is hilarious. Chewed Up made me laugh every 10 seconds. If he makes you puke make sure to never watch Lisa Lampanelli (not a fan myself).
That's not how it works. I DARE you to go onstage and swear and see if people laugh. It's way easier to be clean. I've done mostly clean when I started out because it was way easier for folks to laugh
this is basically a collection from the 2012 tour bits he did...in the shows the jokes were better constructed...this seems like a last minute thing and he seems to be riffing his way through 5 minutes...still just seeing Jerry makes me smile regardless!
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. English #offtopic Comment Start Topic Report Apr 22 1 TJayC1210 TJayC1210 According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. Reply Report 1 Reply Dec 16 2016 0 KuiperDyne KuiperDyne Top Quality. You even formatted it for easy reading. 10/10 Reply Report Jul 12 2016 1 Wurmple Wurmple - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in?
lol jerry's got a good point. Plus if you leave your trash you're also CREATING A JOB FOR PEOPLE WHO PICK UP AND CLEAN. do society a favor. litter in your movie theater.
i love the early episodes of seinfeld because it had a lot more of jerrys standup. and i love jerrys standup because it is generally unfunny, cringy, and trivial, which just adds to the bizzarreness of that classic sitcom
So, he's ripping on theater exhibitors? Did one of his residual checks bounce? He "earns" more of a living than most everyone in the average movie or Letterman audience, and certainly more than the local manager of any movie house.
This is OK. Very broad. Not inspiring, educational or innovative. Generic comedy. TV fodder. Not junk tho. Just a few chuckles. It's hard to hate or praise material like this. X
I think it's funny stuff, his delivery was just off. Like when you go to the theater and they overdo it just a bit.....funny about the 'orange jump suit' yada yada.......
Wasn't the worst stand up by Jerry and I realize it was years ago.....but he's not really relevant anymore. The Seinfeld show will live forever but damn........are the audience laughing out of respect or they think it's actually funny??? Who Knows. He just kinda reminds me of Paul McCartney..........had his day in the sun but now he's just straight up played out. Oh well......back to watching the Seinfeld reruns.
![[UA] Team Vitality проти NAVI | IEM Cologne 2024](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/wttO1zVRTC0/mqdefault.jpg)
Still love this guy
Stoked to be seeing him live for the first time in 2024!
That was gold Jerry, gold!
Kenny.
"Can I use that?" - Bania
One of best comedians of my life time. This material was free and he does not have to give his great stuff on public tv anymore. So haters will be hating and they for sure aren't probably funny at same time. The end.
He hasn't lost his touch. People saying he is boring now or whatever, are people who probably didn't like him in the first place. His humor is awesome and wholesome. Louis C.K wishes he could make people laugh without making them throw up first.
+Lo LawL Louis CK is hilarious. Chewed Up made me laugh every 10 seconds. If he makes you puke make sure to never watch Lisa Lampanelli (not a fan myself).
Anyone who thinks he is as funny now as he was pre 2000 probably didn't appreciate his comedy in the first place.
I can’t wait to use “soda welded “ in a conversation.
That's what stand-up is for, stealing it for use among your friends
love Seinfeld. and he didn't have to curse through the set to get some cheap laughs like most of these copycat comedians do.
That's not how it works. I DARE you to go onstage and swear and see if people laugh. It's way easier to be clean. I've done mostly clean when I started out because it was way easier for folks to laugh
Great material. And just like the show, it will remain relevant for years to come.
That's why I like Seinfeld and his standup because 30 years later, his jokes are still relavant to our modern life. Class act
I agree, seeing Jerry back on stage makes me smile too :)
Yay, it's Jerry in 2013 and I'm laughing. I'm happy! :D
You have to admit that he is a master of standup even if you don't like his material
people don't come and see him for the comedy, they come for Jerry Seinfeld
People who expect to see a star of a comedy series 25,years old probably do not know anything about standing up comedy. So who cares. :)
Sad but true
this is basically a collection from the 2012 tour bits he did...in the shows the jokes were better constructed...this seems like a last minute thing and he seems to be riffing his way through 5 minutes...still just seeing Jerry makes me smile regardless!
Clean and Funny....a rarity in today's world!
For me this is funnier than some his old standup i watched just before
The guy's already sixty! unbelievable!
ughhhhhh, the claps kill every joke
They are trying to make him feel like he's funny
Natural stand up comedian
LOVEEEEE
Where is the damn cup holder in this car?!
This is insane!
Good shape Mr.Seinfeld you made me LOL , as usual :) God bless him
Bring back Seinfeld a New TV show would rock!
According to all known laws
of aviation,
there is no way a bee
should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care
what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow!
Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Ooming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry?
- Adam?
- Oan you believe this is happening?
- I can't. I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father
paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate.
We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz.
- Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.
- Bye!
Barry, I told you,
stop flying in the house!
- Hey, Adam.
- Hey, Barry.
- Is that fuzz gel?
- A little. Special day, graduation.
Never thought I'd make it.
Three days grade school,
three days high school.
Those were awkward.
Three days college. I'm glad I took
a day and hitchhiked around the hive.
You did come back different.
- Hi, Barry.
- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.
- Hear about Frankie?
- Yeah.
- You going to the funeral?
- No, I'm not going.
Everybody knows,
sting someone, you die.
Don't waste it on a squirrel.
Such a hothead.
I guess he could have
just gotten out of the way.
I love this incorporating
an amusement park into our day.
That's why we don't need vacations.
Boy, quite a bit of pomp...
under the circumstances.
- Well, Adam, today we are men.
- We are!
- Bee-men.
- Amen!
Hallelujah!
Students, faculty, distinguished bees,
please welcome Dean Buzzwell.
Welcome, New Hive Oity
graduating class of...
...9:15.
That concludes our ceremonies.
And begins your career
at Honex Industries!
Will we pick ourjob today?
I heard it's just orientation.
Heads up! Here we go.
Keep your hands and antennas
inside the tram at all times.
English
#offtopic
Comment
Start Topic
Report
Apr 22
1
TJayC1210
TJayC1210
According to all known laws
of aviation,
there is no way a bee
should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care
what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow!
Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Ooming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry?
- Adam?
- Oan you believe this is happening?
- I can't. I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father
paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate.
We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz.
- Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.
- Bye!
Barry, I told you,
stop flying in the house!
- Hey, Adam.
- Hey, Barry.
- Is that fuzz gel?
- A little. Special day, graduation.
Never thought I'd make it.
Three days grade school,
three days high school.
Those were awkward.
Three days college. I'm glad I took
a day and hitchhiked around the hive.
You did come back different.
- Hi, Barry.
- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.
- Hear about Frankie?
- Yeah.
- You going to the funeral?
- No, I'm not going.
Everybody knows,
sting someone, you die.
Don't waste it on a squirrel.
Such a hothead.
I guess he could have
just gotten out of the way.
I love this incorporating
an amusement park into our day.
That's why we don't need vacations.
Boy, quite a bit of pomp...
under the circumstances.
- Well, Adam, today we are men.
- We are!
- Bee-men.
- Amen!
Hallelujah!
Students, faculty, distinguished bees,
please welcome Dean Buzzwell.
Welcome, New Hive Oity
graduating class of...
...9:15.
That concludes our ceremonies.
And begins your career
at Honex Industries!
Will we pick ourjob today?
I heard it's just orientation.
Heads up! Here we go.
Keep your hands and antennas
inside the tram at all times.
Reply
Report
1 Reply
Dec 16 2016
0
KuiperDyne
KuiperDyne
Top Quality. You even formatted it for easy reading. 10/10
Reply
Report
Jul 12 2016
1
Wurmple
Wurmple
- Wonder what it'll be like?
- A little scary.
Welcome to Honex,
a division of Honesco
and a part of the Hexagon Group.
This is it!
Wow.
Wow.
We know that you, as a bee,
have worked your whole life
to get to the point where you
can work for your whole life.
Honey begins when our valiant Pollen
Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.
Our top-secret formula
is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured
into this soothing sweet syrup
with its distinctive
golden glow you know as...
Honey!
- That girl was hot.
- She's my cousin!
- She is?
- Yes, we're all cousins.
- Right. You're right.
- At Honex, we constantly strive
to improve every aspect
of bee existence.
These bees are stress-testing
a new helmet technology.
- What do you think he makes?
- Not enough.
Here we have our latest advancement,
the Krelman.
- What does that do?
- Oatches that little strand of honey
that hangs after you pour it.
Saves us millions.
Oan anyone work on the Krelman?
Of course. Most bee jobs are
small ones. But bees know
that every small job,
if it's done well, means a lot.
But choose carefully
because you'll stay in the job
you pick for the rest of your life.
The same job the rest of your life?
I didn't know that.
What's the difference?
You'll be happy to know that bees,
as a species, haven't had one day off
in 27 million years.
So you'll just work us to death?
We'll sure try.
Wow! That blew my mind!
"What's the difference?"
How can you say that?
One job forever?
That's an insane choice to have to make.
I'm relieved. Now we only have
to make one decision in life.
But, Adam, how could they
never have told us that?
Why would you question anything?
We're bees.
We're the most perfectly
functioning society on Earth.
You ever think maybe things
work a little too well here?
Like what? Give me one example.
I don't know. But you know
what I'm talking about.
Please clear the gate.
Royal Nectar Force on approach.
Wait a second. Oheck it out.
- Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!
- Wow.
I've never seen them this close.
They know what it's like
outside the hive.
Yeah, but some don't come back.
- Hey, Jocks!
- Hi, Jocks!
You guys did great!
You're monsters!
You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!
- I wonder where they were.
- I don't know.
Their day's not planned.
Outside the hive, flying who knows
where, doing who knows what.
You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen
Jock. You have to be bred for that.
Right.
Look. That's more pollen
than you and I will see in a lifetime.
It's just a status symbol.
Bees make too much of it.
Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it
and the ladies see you wearing it.
Those ladies?
Aren't they our cousins too?
Distant. Distant.
Look at these two.
- Oouple of Hive Harrys.
- Let's have fun with them.
It must be dangerous
being a Pollen Jock.
Yeah. Once a bear pinned me
against a mushroom!
He had a paw on my throat,
and with the other, he was slapping me!
- Oh, my!
- I never thought I'd knock him out.
What were you doing during this?
Trying to alert the authorities.
I can autograph that.
A little gusty out there today,
wasn't it, comrades?
Yeah. Gusty.
We're hitting a sunflower patch
six miles from here tomorrow.
- Six miles, huh?
- Barry!
A puddle jump for us,
but maybe you're not up for it.
- Maybe I am.
- You are not!
We're going 0900 at J-Gate.
What do you think, buzzy-boy?
Are you bee enough?
I might be. It all depends
on what 0900 means.
Hey, Honex!
Dad, you surprised me.
You decide what you're interested in?
He's still got it XD
Seinfeld has a new web show called comedians in cars getting coffee. Closest you are going to get
why the fuck would anyone dislike jerry ?
Still got it
This isn't his best stuff. But it's still good!
People that say that Seinfeld is not funny => stop using drugs.
I'm sure he would've been heckled right off of the Letterman show...
who???
Did gilbert gottfried got his normal voice back?
Does the car fleet need to be updated?
lol jerry's got a good point. Plus if you leave your trash you're also CREATING A JOB FOR PEOPLE WHO PICK UP AND CLEAN. do society a favor. litter in your movie theater.
His entrance was stalled, and then his exit he got confused of where to go and there’s moments where they didn’t even laugh
Been the best since Benson.
i love the early episodes of seinfeld because it had a lot more of jerrys standup. and i love jerrys standup because it is generally unfunny, cringy, and trivial, which just adds to the bizzarreness of that classic sitcom
he sounds exactly the same as brian regan.
No. No.
gator aide is water salt and sugar.
theedrstrangelove and very delicious when you are out in the sun without any water for over an hour.
Is the applause after each joke really necessary?
This isn't laugh out loud funny, but it's just genius comedy none the less. Comedy isn't about just being funny >>> half the people below me..
DETHKLOK RADIO!
So, he's ripping on theater exhibitors? Did one of his residual checks bounce? He "earns" more of a living than most everyone in the average movie or Letterman audience, and certainly more than the local manager of any movie house.
Who judges how funny something is based on how vulgar it is?
3ternal basically everyone
What happens if you don't hydrate -> you get dehydrated -> net worth: 800 million dollars
this world sucks ass
He's just mocking the people he's talking about.
lol u act like that one joke alone got him all that money
this is 90`s comedy....
or start using them. whatever it is you're doing it wrong.
I wish he'd just stick to sitcoms lol
This doesn't sound like "Seinfeld" to me
This is OK. Very broad. Not inspiring, educational or innovative. Generic comedy. TV fodder. Not junk tho. Just a few chuckles. It's hard to hate or praise material like this. X
David Ashworth he's a virtuoso, shut up idiot
240p? Really?
Yes
weakest seinfeld ever .. and wtf .. the audience claps after every line??
Jerrys stand up have just never really been funny I always thought his stand up was very PG 13 and was for old ppl its weird lol
off topic swearing doesn't mean anything if you have weak stand up, simple as that
He supports the State of Israel. Just saying.
I think it's funny stuff, his delivery was just off. Like when you go to the theater and they overdo it just a bit.....funny about the 'orange jump suit' yada yada.......
Yeah, he lost it.
is kramer in it else it will suck. Jerrys work is bad without kramer
Before i found Seinfeld funny, but after discovering Louis CK and Ricky Gervais, Seinfeld is quite boring.
Never found him funny..Shallow...I thought i 'll try again but meh.
I'm a huge Seinfeld fan, but that was unfunny...
hahahahahahahahah umm SHIT SHIT CRAP!
Watching this in 2019 with dave chappelle and kevin heart on the scene is boring AF
I love him but not funny outside of the movie theater garbage bit.
Lame.
In doubtfully the worst comic of all time
Then you don't know comedy!
His show was funny. He is not.
nope. that was very bad!
laaaame
Not funny!
Wasn't the worst stand up by Jerry and I realize it was years ago.....but he's not really relevant anymore. The Seinfeld show will live forever but damn........are the audience laughing out of respect or they think it's actually funny??? Who Knows. He just kinda reminds me of Paul McCartney..........had his day in the sun but now he's just straight up played out. Oh well......back to watching the Seinfeld reruns.
PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE DO PEOPLE LAUGH TO THIS. tELL ME ONE THING HE SAID THAT WAS FUNNY.
ops caps-
Jerry Seinfeld is not funny.