What a surprise, I find a majority of drs always say baby is too big too small ect ect any reason to put fear and try and push unnecessary induction and medical intervention. They also told me 1 of my baby's was too small and he was 8.5 at 40weeks, another they said was going to be 9lb plus and he was 6.5. Only one of my baby's out of 7 were they anywhere close with the weight❤
I'm so sorry that you had such a traumatic experience. I had a c-section with my first because she was breech and that was as far as possible from the unmedicated birth I had prepared for. There were a few little things that made me feel violated, but overall, I knew it was the best thing for my baby and me. My second birth was a vaginal birth in a hospital, and honestly it was way worse than the c-section because the hospital staff was so unbelievably horrible to me. I'm pregnant again and going to a birth center in hopes of a different outcome. Thank you for sharing your story! I've never heard of a birthing center being so ill equipped and underprepared, so it's good info to take with me into this next stage to make sure I'm getting only certified nurse midwives with plenty of experience. Thank you and I hope you're doing well after of it. I'm glad everyone was safe ❤
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences! I hope you have the birth you’ve always wanted with your third. Not every birthing center is like this, I heard positive stories from people before making the decision. But glad that some of my story can help you! Advocate for yourself and you’ll be okay.
Sigh. You are not alone in this sort of story! Midwives and birth centers market themselves as a natural alternative… a more hands off, woman centered avenue for women to give birth and they can often be just as problematic as hospitals!! Personally, I don’t think it has anything to do with the second midwife being a CPM vs CNM… sounds like she was just not good at holding space for you as a source of wisdom and trust. Birth is such a special and sacred time for mothers and even the slightest change in the energy of the room can have horrible consequences. Mothers in labor are so sensitive to these changes and their bodies react to them in sometimes big ways. Something that stood out to me was that you labored at home calmly and peacefully and got to the birth center at 8cm. You did the most progress when you were safe, supported and relying on your own intuition at home. When you transitioned to the birth center, and encountered the midwives, you gave away a lot of your security and feminine power to these women. Your body didn’t feel safe to continue the birth process and there was this “cervical lip” preventing the body from finishing the process. I wonder what would’ve happened if you stayed home and finished your birth there. Of course we will never fully know… but just a thought. Glad that you and your beautiful baby are safe and healthy now. You’re doing a great thing in talking through the birth and processing with your husband. I had a similar story with my first and went on to freebirth my second and the experience completely healed me ❤ good luck and congrats mama!
Wow. Thank you for taking the time to write this. The way you reflected on my story definitely gave me a new way to look at what happened to me. You’re so right. I’ll take these words with me if I have a second baby hopefully 🤍🤍🤍 appreciate you! 🫶🏼🙏🏼
@@OrganicLifewithDaniella Yes, I have to agree that the cervical lip combined with the desire to push might have been your body's response to being someplace it considered unsafe (even just a person who is unsafe). Personally, if I had known I had a cervical lip, I would have gotten in an inclined position and see if I can get the pressure off the cervix for some contractions and see if that will help my body not push while I finish dilating.
I had an almost identical experience with my labor and was very frustrated by the care, support and direction I was given by my midwives. Thank you for sharing your story! It’s crazy how this sort of thing isn’t shared as much as a ‘straightforward’ birth.
You are so right. You can plan and plan and it can take a totally different route. And it sucks for us. But I’m glad that you knew when you needed to go to the hospital. You and your baby girl are safe and healthy. I had a traumatic first birth that ended in an emergency c-section. But the sunshine is that I went on to have four safe vbacs. Congratulations on your baby girl 💗
I'm so sorry you had to experience that, I had my first at. Birthing center with 2 midwives and both were certified nurse midwives. My cervix was in the way but she checked me at 40 weeks and manually moved it, was uncomfortable but she was able to do it. Definitely sounds like that birthing center is not so much educated. My midwives had both over 15 years of experience and even delivered breeched babies at the birth center..They were Christian and it was an amazing experience, I hope if you have another that it will be redemptive for you honey.
I had my cervical lip on one side not fully out of the way and an almost non working epidural and had a doctor manually attempt to push the cervical lip out of the way because they didn't notice until I was already pushing for a bit. It was sooo painful and I was so drained and exhausted was pushing and having her not come out. My contractions were already pushing her down so waiting wasn't an option because her head was right there, I had to deal with the doctors manually helping my daughter out and moving the lip as much as possible. It was horrible and so painful. That's when I really wished I had spoke up more for my epidural not working. Luckily they were still all very good doctors and nurses, explained what was going on to me and did their best with very little time. Me and baby were both safe and healthy when she finally came out. I feel like I don't hear a lot of other birth stories with women who've been dilated and ready to go but still have a piece of the cervix in the way. I never would of known how painful it was. I wish my epidural had worked lol. My first 2 babies it didn't work, my 3rd one I spoke up and they had to try 3 different medications, I was even using the bathroom on my own after the epidural, the nurses were like wow thats definitely not working lol. The anesthesiologist was great and tried several other kinds of meds into the epidural and finally we got one that made it so I felt almost nothing. Thank goodness because that was my biggest baby too. Birth is so crazy, glad everything worked out and you are both healthy!
Wow, thank you so much for sharing your experience because honestly I never heard of this happening to women before and now I am hearing a few stories here and there. I’m so glad they were able to get it out of the way and that you and your babies are safe here and healthy. That hit me hard because I wish they would’ve been able to do that for me and because I was not in the hands of the right people, it didn’t happen. But also it feels good to know that it was possible for you, it gives me hope if it does ever happen again. It is incredibly painful, goes to show how strong women are. 🫶🏼
I know that a lot of people are not going to like this, but I am going to say it anyway.. I home births are all the rage now, I consider that the mother is being selfish buy wanting to have the " perfect birth experience ". I know 4 women that tried home birth and 3 of the 4 babies were born blue and required oxygen which the midwife didn't have. One died one and one had hypoxia aand has learning problems. One was just fine. First time mothers need access to medical help, because they haven't birthed a baby yet. PPH can kill the mother in or out of the hospital but the time it takes to get to the hospital can be the time that if you're in hospital help is immediately available. I had my 2 sons born in the hospital with no drugs and I felt like I was WonderWoman.! Had a tub in my room and I had music and the support of my mom and best friend. It hurt like hell, but I was safe and most importantly my sons were safe, I got to pull my sons out and had those precious moments. My daughter was entirely different. I was in the hospital from 20 weeks until my 32nd week, she was a preemie and and was in the NICU for a month. I just want women to think about about their babies life and not think of having a 'perfect birth experience ' ..... and now will come the comments on this post,,,,,,
You have a great point. I will say some women don’t know better because it’s their first, and they think that they are doing what’s best for their baby. Sometimes it actually is. Every situation is different. Bad things happen at hospitals and good things happen at birthing centers and vice versa. It isn’t black and white. But you have a great general message overall, Thanks for a sharing.
I think your projecting because you didn't get the birth you envisioned. And this is coming from someone who gave birth 7times including to a 30 week preemie. You did what's best for your baby but it's wrong to be berate women for wanting to have the birth they dream of. Home births have been popular for year it's the most natural thing in the world
Sending you and your beautiful family so much love and positive energy This must have been so tough and your outlook after the birth shows your strength and resilience Your daughter has an awesome role model ❤
Thank you so much for your sweet words 🫶🏼 I definitely still feel sad over how it went down but healing more and more everyday, for myself and for her.
The memory loss med they offered for anxiety is called Versed (trade name) aka Midazolam. Very common med used in surgeries. I used to be a preop/post op nurse.
I hope the birthing center gave you your money back. And yes the hospital nurse is correct if the heart rate drops they need to begin to prepare for c section
They didn’t give us the money we paid back but they did cancel the rest of our payments which is over $1,000. And yes, the csection was the best option at that point! We loved the midwife nurse from the hospital. I could even tell it hurt her to tell me I had to have a csection, she knew how hard I had tried
What percentage of births aren’t traumatic? The birth of my 2nd son was so traumatic it made me want to never have any more kids. Labor was 30 hours and stopped. Baby was in distress and I as told if pitocen didn’t work I would need emergency c section. I thought it was the end for me and my baby. My husband (now long divorced) was tired after a few hours and went home to sleep. He left me there alone for most of the delivery experience. It was horrible honestly. When he was born I was so exhausted I couldn’t move. Just laid there struggling to stay awake and move. My son weighed 9lbs 10 ounces and my body was forever changed. Hips still pop and get stuck. It was a bad experience and now he’s a young adult and throwing his life away. I’m full of regrets on my older age and becoming a parent is one of them sadly.
To be honest it makes sense to have a deadline for when the baby isn't allowed to be breach anymore. The transport from the birthing center to the hospital is always a risk and might take away important time which can decide between life and death. So if it's very likely that you'll have to be transported to the hospital I wouldn't take the risk of going to the birthing center first
I agree what I mean is if they wouldn’t have put that pressure on me and instead just checked me later, then I would go directly to the hospital if I was still breech at the time of contractions, I wouldn’t have gone to the birthing center at all. But 37 weeks is too early, babies turn last minute all the time. And maybe turning her is what caused the cervical lip since they happen due to the baby’s head position
I want to do another video on this but good question. It took me 5 months to feel better about everything. I would first just rest a lot. Whenever you can. And then when you feel energetic again, go to a chiropractor, dance, yoga, get your body comfortable moving freely again. Another huge part of it is not wanting to be intimate and not having a sex drive like before. That’s a longer road in my opinion. But it’s all normal. Im still trying to feel confident and comfortable in my skin. But time has been helping me heal. Give yourself time to grow new perspectives about your birth experience, and to love yourself again. 🫶🏼
Im so sorry you didnt get the birth you envisioned, i honestly really felt rage listening to how the uncertified midwife treated you with qll those painful cervical checks. A birth centre is ment to be hands off so im sorry they tried to rush you. I also agree with you about the deadline putting pressure on you when your baby could of moved at last minute. Before i even read what you wrote on screen my thought was that baby is breech because they know they are a twin, i agree being a twin is so spititual im sure you will notice other things in her life where you will think "ahh thats her twin energy". My last baby i finally redeemed my horrible birth experiences and had a beautiful HVBAC with just gas and air. Just remember every birth is different dont allow this to put you in fear of it happening again, if you have another baby in your plans I'll speak it into existence You Will have your envisioned birth, your newly updated envisioned birth❤ Im sorry the birth centre let you down, you did so brilliant to get to 8cm before arriving which shows how you progressed better whilsf at home and relaxed. My 6th was a Emergency Csection and i also struggled with the fact they hand off your baby to your partner to stitch you up, i also felt cheated for a while but like i said every birth is different and your next experience could be completely different even if you decide to go a different route like a planned csection ect its all about the experience YOU want. Please dont take any notice about the comments on here from women who are anti natural birth. Alot probably didnt get the birth they envisioned either so are now projecting. As women we should support eachother there is no right way to give birth, its all about what YOU want for YOUR birth and YOUR preferences and never lose your determination and allow anyone to talk you down or tell you your experience wasnt valid and you should of hone to the hosp in the 1st place ect ect. I hope you took the time to rest and are healing from your traumatic birth, it really does take time to heal from borth tauma but enjoy every second of that sweet girl congratulations mama you did it and thats all that matters❤❤
Thank you so much for your message. And sorry for seeing it so late. But I appreciate you taking the time to express how you sympathized with me. It really helps my healing process when people help validate my feelings. 🤍
My first had to be in the hospital for a week due to an infection in his blood. I now believe it’s because there was a nurse there that sat and stretched my cervix for minutes at a time. I am mad about it now and then I felt weird about it but now I know it’s a big no no.
My baby, 2.5 years ago was frank breech when i went into natural labor at 34 weeks. None of my OB team told me that there were ways to naturally flip a baby (I didn't do my research) so while IN labor, they did the ECV with an epidural. Ive given birth once before and the pain from an ECV while in labor was 50x worse than giving birth. I had 2 doctors flipping her, my husband and my sister holding my hands, while i just laid there absolutely crying my eyes out. Had i known that it would be that painful, i for sure would've at least tried other ways. The ECV ended up wrapping the cord around her neck twice, loosely. The epidural didn't work at all for me for any part, other than making me ferociously itchy lol. Thankful i had my support team with me. Im currently 33 weeks and have a head down baby, but he's sunny side up 🤦🏼♀️. Hopefully he turns so we don't have to go through anything scary
I hope he turns too!! Thank you so much for sharing. I tried everything before getting the ECV and still had to get it BUT i think it’s what caused my cervical lip. Just my theory. And YES I did it with no epidural and I swear that was the most painful thing ever. They didn’t warn me very well either so that’s why I didn’t get it lol it was like they were loving all my organs around ugh
My daughter’s 3rd baby had to do a EVC 2x for baby to stay head down and be born. My daughter didn’t want a c section and she was able to make it without it .
So, i have done a lot if research in birth being a doula. I also eventually want to be a homebirthing midwife. Ive had one baby at home and planning for ny second. Ive interviewed so many midwives and definitely have a good idea of typical home birth/bitthing center practice especially in Texas. First off, there are plenty of great cnm but it doesn't seem like once the nurse shift happened that you had good cnm. A good cnm allows labor to take its own course. Your midwives were definitely pushing that because you were 8cm, labor needed to look a certain way. I know of a home birthing parient who was 8cm for like 18 hours because of op presentation and my wonderful amish midwife allowed her body the time to position baby the way that was needed without manufacturing contractions. Dont agree to tamper with breech presentation. Definitely encourage chiropractic care and spinning babies well before doing ecv. There are plenty of midwives in Texas who deliver breech babies. Some even deliver breech babies in first time moms. There is VERY little research on breech deliveries and i eould highly encourage finding a provider eho is comfortable with breech because some baby's have reasons to be breech. Things that are very medical that were unnecessarily performed by your midwives in labor. 1. Assuming you were close because of being 8cm 2. Manufacturing contractions with black cohosh because they slowed down. Contractions that slow down usually are doing positional work. They arent necessarily signs of a faulty uterus, but of something that is preventing "typical" progress like a cervical lip. I personally would not take black cohosh during labor. Maybe to induce labor if I'm nearing 42 weeks (in Texas you have to deliver by 42 weeks) or after labor in an attempt to stimulate the uterus to help with hemrhaging. It is so inappropriate to me to use black cohosh like the hospital uses pitocin to manufacture labor thats going abnormally. 3. They should not assume you are pushing wrong because your uterus does the pushing without your help. Pushing right doesnt deliver a baby. Pushing can help deliver faster if everything else is lined up right. I.e baby is engaged, cervix is effaced, dilated, and out of the way, and mama is in a good position/baby is not stuck on some bone which eould require positional changes. If your body is pushing uncontrollably and without your help and isnt progressing, its CLASSIC symptoms of a cervical lip. Its absolutely crazy to me they didn't diagnose it simply based off symptoms. 4. Encouraging pushing when its not progressing anything is really stupid. They should have encouraged lots of rest, peanut ball, and even tried some things to reduce contractions like water or inversion. Personally, i think inversion could have helped get pressure of the cervix so your body would stop pushing against the cervix. 5. They shouldn't have broken your water. Your labor was progressing, so breaking water is not going to help anything. In fact, breaking water can impede the cushion and cause irregular cervical dialation. The bulge of the water is VERY helpful with dialation. Its very possible that if they hadnt messed with the water then the cervical lip would have resolved with time on its own (without cohosh). 6. Once they dagnosed cervical lip (which they should have diagnosed so much earlier) and methods of relaxation are not helping, it is best to push the cervical lip out of the way for a few contractions. Very uncomfortable, but very successful too. For half the video i was screaming "Just push the cervical lip out of the way!". Im very suprised they didn't do that in the hospital. However, its possible that the swelling from all the other things was preventing the cervix from being accessible and pliable. I would just like to say thad i have found no midwife (cpm or cnm) who would have handled the situation like this. I would highly recommend not going someplace that has rotating nurses because you should be able to have an intimate relationship with your provider and know that they are attending your birth. Definitely ask your next provider how they would handle a situation like this. I would highly encourage trying a home birth, not because there is anything wrong with a birth center, but i think you could really benefit from care from one person you truly know. I would not allow anyone other than your trusted provider to make ANY medical decisions or even check you. Its imperative that you know who is handling your care is informed and farmilar with all kinds of birth. Also, someone should be able to identify the symptoms of a cervical lip without having to feel it. At the end of the day, we all could benefit from knowing more about birth, however i find it very frustrating that your providers were so stupid. Not everyone should have to know the symptoms, treatment, and prevention of all birthing complications in order to have a safe natural birth! However, when you have providers like yours who are basically doing hospital craziness but just using black cohosh instead of pitocin! Im absolutely furious for you. It hurts my soul to hear of bad birthing centers and home birthing midwives because it puts a giant smear on the whole community. I appreciate your constant acknowledgement that your experience does not represent all home or birthing center births. I appreciate you not blaming the holistic birth approach for these completely manageable complications. I hope and pray you find peace in your birth and that aby future births (hospital, birthing center, or at home) would be redemptive in everyway.
I actually can say I was scared for no reason but Austin Birthing Center. Austin Texas. There are some people that I would say were nice and treated me well during the visits. So my biggest advice would be to ask for lots of information on the person that is going to actually be there when you give birth. Be vocal. And ask for someone else if you don’t like their care. Because there are so many different midwives and they switch shifts. They share with you their papers of how many years of experience but that’s NOT enough so be your own advocate.
Girl! I was terrified to give birth to my son…my daughter was only 1lb 10oz (she was unfortunately stillborn) but these drs were telling me I was about to have a 9 pounder 🥴 He was 5lbs 6oz 🤨
I’m so sorry 🙏🏼 ugh I really don’t understand why they scare us like that!! I truly think it’s a fear tactic to get you to be open to more interventions and say yes easily. Idk 😩
God was looking out for you and your baby. An Arizona mom just went through a similar experience with an incompetent midwife, difficult labor and not getting help soon enough when she needed it. Both mom and baby in that situation did not survive.
Sorry for your experience. As a student midwife who works with a variety of different types of midwife, I can tell you it had nothing to do with CPM or CNM. A bad midwife is a bad midwife regardless of their training👀 Glad you and baby are doing though🙏🏾💕
3 babies later with tons of hours into research and baby groups and this is the first time i am hearing of this cervical issue while laboring. Now I'm wondering if this is what happened w my 1st child that i pushed forwver and then ended up in cs after she pooped maconium.
My best friend is in nursing school for labor and delivery and she has learned about it so they definitely teach about it. but for some reason the midwife that was with me wasn’t able to identify it, we think it’s due to her lack of births shes done
There’s so much to unpack in this vid and comment section, but one thing I wanna say is that there are incompetent medical ‘professionals’ in every establishment. I’m sorry that you had incompetent ones in the establishment that you wanted to give birth in, but it could have been the hospital that had the incompetent staff member. At the end of the day, from this story it sounds like it came down to that one staff member and her not getting a second opinion and that could have been anywhere - including the hospital. As someone who has been in and out of hospital for years, I’ve had my fair share of instances where nurses have made decisions that have nearly killed me. I was on an operating table and my mum had called my specialist frantic because they were going to be removing my labia, the specialist went in and shut it down mid procedure. It was a nightmare, and that was at a HOSPITAL. To say that this happened because you were in a birthing centre is simply not true, it’s not your fault that this happened. I hope it has equipped you with a bit more of an understanding of how and when to advocate for yourself in a situation like this, and to lean on your support systems especially in the moment. When we are in a high stress situation, it’s so important to lean on the ones we trust to help us make the call. I’m proud of you for making that decision despite it not being what you wanted 💕 Congratulations on your gorgeous girl and I hope that if you plan to have another bub, your delivery isnt clouded by this previous trauma 🥰
Honestly the only mistake I heard is the birthing center having you push against the cervical lip. You can usually move them out of the way but if it is too tight then you have to wait. A cervical lip is a very normal part of labor and a lot of times they can be stubborn. I have had it manually reduced with all my babies right before pushing. Some people do push past them though. You were having strong contractions because you were in transition. Those contractions would have been hell with or without the cohosh. I will also say that the epidural does lower your blood pressure which causes a lot of babies to have heart rate decelerations. Most of the time it corrects itself but i have seen decels not respond to interventions and lead to a csection. Hospitals are so quick to cut. I really dislike them for the most part.
I’ve had 2 babies at very good hospitals (Cleveland clinic in Cleveland Ohio) and I’d Never go to a birthing center after hearing all these horror stories
I am so sorry you had such a bad experience😢.I am giving birth is a birthing centre but the centre is within the hospital so its a quick transfer if needed. I am in the UK.
This story really doesn't feel like the US medical system screwed you over. It sounds like you have a love RN at first and then lovely surgical team at the hospital. Sounds like you didn't like one nurse. You maybe consented to too many cervical checks and agree to drink potions but I don't see how any of that was the medical systems fault. Hell, you weren't even using the medical system during that time.
@@OrganicLifewithDaniella That is not scientifically factual. There is not proven oral potion that acts with the same efficacy as pitocin. That is medial misinformation.
@@OrganicLifewithDaniella I agree with you on that. It didn't' happen because you didn't like a nurse. You made choices and took risks and shit happened not because of malpractice.
Wow. I had an ECV with my youngest. Mine was more invasive than most. But i would not call it painful at all. Not nearly as painful as a 37wker flipping to.transverse every few hours.
Wow what a totally disservice those nurses did to you! Birth and the mother are to be respected and left alone unless major red flags are present like bleeding or heart rate issues with the baby. I cannot believe the experience you had and I’m so sorry your dream birth was stolen for you. This video and your experience will help other women tho so thank you for sharing. Also just a note, Certified nurse midwives do advanced medical training in obstetrics and tend to be indoctrinated into the medical system and ideologies. Just like OBs they are more likely to view birth as a a scary fearful thing that needs to be managed, which we can see in some of the things they did with you unfortunately.
@@OrganicLifewithDaniella Bingo! It's completely within any home birthing midwife or birthing center midwifes relm of care to address a cervical lip. It isn't uncommon and it is usually very treatable if you don't exasperate the problem.
NO! Professionals have Dr. In front of their names or MD, after their names! If you choose to go holistic with your baby's entry in the world, the risks are on you!
What are you saying no to? Also, that’s obvious. Of course there’s always risks and you know that. But there’s risk everywhere there have been horrible stories at hospitals. So it’s unfair to think that a person who goes through this should completely blame themselves. ULTIMATELY, life’s not fair but when you trust “educated” people (professionals can be nurse midwives), lots of blame should be put on them as well.
Through out this entire video you are talking as if you are a doctor and dramatically making all these ASSUMPTIONS about why they were doing what they were doing. This was on you. Women need to stop this idea of not having babies at hospitals where MD's / Doctors are looking after you and where if severe emergencies can be saved IMMEDIATELY because you are ALREADY at a hospital so that precious time is not wasted trying to get to a hospital to save you and your baby's life. It's extremely selfish
You are one hell of a rude human being lol I’m simply stating my experience and I give credit to the hospital a lot, and I also share where I think I went wrong. At the end of the day the fact that you commented for the sole purpose of making ME feel bad when I’m a victim as well says who you are as a human being. It’s not selfish when you THOUGHT wholeheartedly that the decision you made was in the benefit of you and your baby. People can be wrong, it doesn’t mean their selfish.
8:18 FORGOT TO MENTION she was not a big baby lol at all 🙃
Don't let Debbie Downers get to you! Keep up the amazing work 🎉! It wasn't your fault the birthing center nurse was a dumbass.
What a surprise, I find a majority of drs always say baby is too big too small ect ect any reason to put fear and try and push unnecessary induction and medical intervention. They also told me 1 of my baby's was too small and he was 8.5 at 40weeks, another they said was going to be 9lb plus and he was 6.5. Only one of my baby's out of 7 were they anywhere close with the weight❤
I'm so sorry that you had such a traumatic experience. I had a c-section with my first because she was breech and that was as far as possible from the unmedicated birth I had prepared for. There were a few little things that made me feel violated, but overall, I knew it was the best thing for my baby and me. My second birth was a vaginal birth in a hospital, and honestly it was way worse than the c-section because the hospital staff was so unbelievably horrible to me. I'm pregnant again and going to a birth center in hopes of a different outcome. Thank you for sharing your story! I've never heard of a birthing center being so ill equipped and underprepared, so it's good info to take with me into this next stage to make sure I'm getting only certified nurse midwives with plenty of experience. Thank you and I hope you're doing well after of it. I'm glad everyone was safe ❤
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences! I hope you have the birth you’ve always wanted with your third. Not every birthing center is like this, I heard positive stories from people before making the decision. But glad that some of my story can help you! Advocate for yourself and you’ll be okay.
Sigh. You are not alone in this sort of story! Midwives and birth centers market themselves as a natural alternative… a more hands off, woman centered avenue for women to give birth and they can often be just as problematic as hospitals!! Personally, I don’t think it has anything to do with the second midwife being a CPM vs CNM… sounds like she was just not good at holding space for you as a source of wisdom and trust. Birth is such a special and sacred time for mothers and even the slightest change in the energy of the room can have horrible consequences. Mothers in labor are so sensitive to these changes and their bodies react to them in sometimes big ways. Something that stood out to me was that you labored at home calmly and peacefully and got to the birth center at 8cm. You did the most progress when you were safe, supported and relying on your own intuition at home. When you transitioned to the birth center, and encountered the midwives, you gave away a lot of your security and feminine power to these women. Your body didn’t feel safe to continue the birth process and there was this “cervical lip” preventing the body from finishing the process. I wonder what would’ve happened if you stayed home and finished your birth there. Of course we will never fully know… but just a thought. Glad that you and your beautiful baby are safe and healthy now. You’re doing a great thing in talking through the birth and processing with your husband. I had a similar story with my first and went on to freebirth my second and the experience completely healed me ❤ good luck and congrats mama!
Wow. Thank you for taking the time to write this. The way you reflected on my story definitely gave me a new way to look at what happened to me. You’re so right. I’ll take these words with me if I have a second baby hopefully 🤍🤍🤍 appreciate you! 🫶🏼🙏🏼
@@OrganicLifewithDaniella Yes, I have to agree that the cervical lip combined with the desire to push might have been your body's response to being someplace it considered unsafe (even just a person who is unsafe). Personally, if I had known I had a cervical lip, I would have gotten in an inclined position and see if I can get the pressure off the cervix for some contractions and see if that will help my body not push while I finish dilating.
I had an almost identical experience with my labor and was very frustrated by the care, support and direction I was given by my midwives.
Thank you for sharing your story! It’s crazy how this sort of thing isn’t shared as much as a ‘straightforward’ birth.
Yes! More women need to know that labor can go so many ways.
You are so right. You can plan and plan and it can take a totally different route. And it sucks for us. But I’m glad that you knew when you needed to go to the hospital. You and your baby girl are safe and healthy. I had a traumatic first birth that ended in an emergency c-section. But the sunshine is that I went on to have four safe vbacs. Congratulations on your baby girl 💗
Wow that’s amazing. Thank you so much for sharing, really needed that. 🫶🏼🤍
I'm so sorry you had to experience that, I had my first at. Birthing center with 2 midwives and both were certified nurse midwives. My cervix was in the way but she checked me at 40 weeks and manually moved it, was uncomfortable but she was able to do it. Definitely sounds like that birthing center is not so much educated. My midwives had both over 15 years of experience and even delivered breeched babies at the birth center..They were Christian and it was an amazing experience, I hope if you have another that it will be redemptive for you honey.
I had my cervical lip on one side not fully out of the way and an almost non working epidural and had a doctor manually attempt to push the cervical lip out of the way because they didn't notice until I was already pushing for a bit. It was sooo painful and I was so drained and exhausted was pushing and having her not come out. My contractions were already pushing her down so waiting wasn't an option because her head was right there, I had to deal with the doctors manually helping my daughter out and moving the lip as much as possible. It was horrible and so painful. That's when I really wished I had spoke up more for my epidural not working. Luckily they were still all very good doctors and nurses, explained what was going on to me and did their best with very little time. Me and baby were both safe and healthy when she finally came out.
I feel like I don't hear a lot of other birth stories with women who've been dilated and ready to go but still have a piece of the cervix in the way. I never would of known how painful it was. I wish my epidural had worked lol. My first 2 babies it didn't work, my 3rd one I spoke up and they had to try 3 different medications, I was even using the bathroom on my own after the epidural, the nurses were like wow thats definitely not working lol. The anesthesiologist was great and tried several other kinds of meds into the epidural and finally we got one that made it so I felt almost nothing. Thank goodness because that was my biggest baby too.
Birth is so crazy, glad everything worked out and you are both healthy!
Wow, thank you so much for sharing your experience because honestly I never heard of this happening to women before and now I am hearing a few stories here and there. I’m so glad they were able to get it out of the way and that you and your babies are safe here and healthy. That hit me hard because I wish they would’ve been able to do that for me and because I was not in the hands of the right people, it didn’t happen. But also it feels good to know that it was possible for you, it gives me hope if it does ever happen again. It is incredibly painful, goes to show how strong women are. 🫶🏼
I know that a lot of people are not going to like this, but I am going to say it anyway.. I home births are all the rage now, I consider that the mother is being selfish buy wanting to have the " perfect birth experience ". I know 4 women that tried home birth and 3 of the 4 babies were born blue and required oxygen which the midwife didn't have. One died one and one had hypoxia aand has learning problems. One was just fine.
First time mothers need access to medical help, because they haven't birthed a baby yet. PPH can kill the mother in or out of the hospital but the time it takes to get to the hospital can be the time that if you're in hospital help is immediately available.
I had my 2 sons born in the hospital with no drugs and I felt like I was WonderWoman.! Had a tub in my room and I had music and the support of my mom and best friend. It hurt like hell, but I was safe and most importantly my sons were safe, I got to pull my sons out and had those precious moments.
My daughter was entirely different. I was in the hospital from 20 weeks until my 32nd week, she was a preemie and and was in the NICU for a month.
I just want women to think about about their babies life and not think of having a 'perfect birth experience ' ..... and now will come the comments on this post,,,,,,
You have a great point. I will say some women don’t know better because it’s their first, and they think that they are doing what’s best for their baby. Sometimes it actually is. Every situation is different. Bad things happen at hospitals and good things happen at birthing centers and vice versa. It isn’t black and white. But you have a great general message overall, Thanks for a sharing.
I think your projecting because you didn't get the birth you envisioned. And this is coming from someone who gave birth 7times including to a 30 week preemie. You did what's best for your baby but it's wrong to be berate women for wanting to have the birth they dream of. Home births have been popular for year it's the most natural thing in the world
Sending you and your beautiful family so much love and positive energy
This must have been so tough and your outlook after the birth shows your strength and resilience
Your daughter has an awesome role model ❤
Thank you so much for your sweet words 🫶🏼 I definitely still feel sad over how it went down but healing more and more everyday, for myself and for her.
The memory loss med they offered for anxiety is called Versed (trade name) aka Midazolam. Very common med used in surgeries. I used to be a preop/post op nurse.
Oh ok good to know! Thanks for clarifying
@@OrganicLifewithDaniella you're welcome
I hope the birthing center gave you your money back. And yes the hospital nurse is correct if the heart rate drops they need to begin to prepare for c section
They didn’t give us the money we paid back but they did cancel the rest of our payments which is over $1,000. And yes, the csection was the best option at that point! We loved the midwife nurse from the hospital. I could even tell it hurt her to tell me I had to have a csection, she knew how hard I had tried
What percentage of births aren’t traumatic? The birth of my 2nd son was so traumatic it made me want to never have any more kids. Labor was 30 hours and stopped. Baby was in distress and I as told if pitocen didn’t work I would need emergency c section. I thought it was the end for me and my baby. My husband (now long divorced) was tired after a few hours and went home to sleep. He left me there alone for most of the delivery experience. It was horrible honestly. When he was born I was so exhausted I couldn’t move. Just laid there struggling to stay awake and move. My son weighed 9lbs 10 ounces and my body was forever changed. Hips still pop and get stuck. It was a bad experience and now he’s a young adult and throwing his life away. I’m full of regrets on my older age and becoming a parent is one of them sadly.
To be honest it makes sense to have a deadline for when the baby isn't allowed to be breach anymore. The transport from the birthing center to the hospital is always a risk and might take away important time which can decide between life and death. So if it's very likely that you'll have to be transported to the hospital I wouldn't take the risk of going to the birthing center first
I agree what I mean is if they wouldn’t have put that pressure on me and instead just checked me later, then I would go directly to the hospital if I was still breech at the time of contractions, I wouldn’t have gone to the birthing center at all. But 37 weeks is too early, babies turn last minute all the time. And maybe turning her is what caused the cervical lip since they happen due to the baby’s head position
How did you heal from this? Emotionally? My body has so much trauma from my traumatic birth that I don’t even know where to start
I want to do another video on this but good question. It took me 5 months to feel better about everything. I would first just rest a lot. Whenever you can. And then when you feel energetic again, go to a chiropractor, dance, yoga, get your body comfortable moving freely again. Another huge part of it is not wanting to be intimate and not having a sex drive like before. That’s a longer road in my opinion. But it’s all normal. Im still trying to feel confident and comfortable in my skin. But time has been helping me heal. Give yourself time to grow new perspectives about your birth experience, and to love yourself again. 🫶🏼
Im so sorry you didnt get the birth you envisioned, i honestly really felt rage listening to how the uncertified midwife treated you with qll those painful cervical checks. A birth centre is ment to be hands off so im sorry they tried to rush you. I also agree with you about the deadline putting pressure on you when your baby could of moved at last minute. Before i even read what you wrote on screen my thought was that baby is breech because they know they are a twin, i agree being a twin is so spititual im sure you will notice other things in her life where you will think "ahh thats her twin energy". My last baby i finally redeemed my horrible birth experiences and had a beautiful HVBAC with just gas and air. Just remember every birth is different dont allow this to put you in fear of it happening again, if you have another baby in your plans I'll speak it into existence You Will have your envisioned birth, your newly updated envisioned birth❤
Im sorry the birth centre let you down, you did so brilliant to get to 8cm before arriving which shows how you progressed better whilsf at home and relaxed. My 6th was a Emergency Csection and i also struggled with the fact they hand off your baby to your partner to stitch you up, i also felt cheated for a while but like i said every birth is different and your next experience could be completely different even if you decide to go a different route like a planned csection ect its all about the experience YOU want. Please dont take any notice about the comments on here from women who are anti natural birth. Alot probably didnt get the birth they envisioned either so are now projecting. As women we should support eachother there is no right way to give birth, its all about what YOU want for YOUR birth and YOUR preferences and never lose your determination and allow anyone to talk you down or tell you your experience wasnt valid and you should of hone to the hosp in the 1st place ect ect.
I hope you took the time to rest and are healing from your traumatic birth, it really does take time to heal from borth tauma but enjoy every second of that sweet girl congratulations mama you did it and thats all that matters❤❤
Thank you so much for your message. And sorry for seeing it so late. But I appreciate you taking the time to express how you sympathized with me. It really helps my healing process when people help validate my feelings. 🤍
My first had to be in the hospital for a week due to an infection in his blood. I now believe it’s because there was a nurse there that sat and stretched my cervix for minutes at a time. I am mad about it now and then I felt weird about it but now I know it’s a big no no.
Oh no I’m so sorry. Yes every time they do a cervix check it puts your baby at risk 😩 that was my fear too
My baby, 2.5 years ago was frank breech when i went into natural labor at 34 weeks. None of my OB team told me that there were ways to naturally flip a baby (I didn't do my research) so while IN labor, they did the ECV with an epidural. Ive given birth once before and the pain from an ECV while in labor was 50x worse than giving birth. I had 2 doctors flipping her, my husband and my sister holding my hands, while i just laid there absolutely crying my eyes out. Had i known that it would be that painful, i for sure would've at least tried other ways. The ECV ended up wrapping the cord around her neck twice, loosely. The epidural didn't work at all for me for any part, other than making me ferociously itchy lol. Thankful i had my support team with me. Im currently 33 weeks and have a head down baby, but he's sunny side up 🤦🏼♀️. Hopefully he turns so we don't have to go through anything scary
I hope he turns too!! Thank you so much for sharing. I tried everything before getting the ECV and still had to get it BUT i think it’s what caused my cervical lip. Just my theory. And YES I did it with no epidural and I swear that was the most painful thing ever. They didn’t warn me very well either so that’s why I didn’t get it lol it was like they were loving all my organs around ugh
My daughter’s 3rd baby had to do a EVC 2x for baby to stay head down and be born. My daughter didn’t want a c section and she was able to make it without it .
So, i have done a lot if research in birth being a doula. I also eventually want to be a homebirthing midwife. Ive had one baby at home and planning for ny second. Ive interviewed so many midwives and definitely have a good idea of typical home birth/bitthing center practice especially in Texas. First off, there are plenty of great cnm but it doesn't seem like once the nurse shift happened that you had good cnm. A good cnm allows labor to take its own course. Your midwives were definitely pushing that because you were 8cm, labor needed to look a certain way. I know of a home birthing parient who was 8cm for like 18 hours because of op presentation and my wonderful amish midwife allowed her body the time to position baby the way that was needed without manufacturing contractions.
Dont agree to tamper with breech presentation. Definitely encourage chiropractic care and spinning babies well before doing ecv. There are plenty of midwives in Texas who deliver breech babies. Some even deliver breech babies in first time moms. There is VERY little research on breech deliveries and i eould highly encourage finding a provider eho is comfortable with breech because some baby's have reasons to be breech.
Things that are very medical that were unnecessarily performed by your midwives in labor.
1. Assuming you were close because of being 8cm
2. Manufacturing contractions with black cohosh because they slowed down. Contractions that slow down usually are doing positional work. They arent necessarily signs of a faulty uterus, but of something that is preventing "typical" progress like a cervical lip. I personally would not take black cohosh during labor. Maybe to induce labor if I'm nearing 42 weeks (in Texas you have to deliver by 42 weeks) or after labor in an attempt to stimulate the uterus to help with hemrhaging. It is so inappropriate to me to use black cohosh like the hospital uses pitocin to manufacture labor thats going abnormally.
3. They should not assume you are pushing wrong because your uterus does the pushing without your help. Pushing right doesnt deliver a baby. Pushing can help deliver faster if everything else is lined up right. I.e baby is engaged, cervix is effaced, dilated, and out of the way, and mama is in a good position/baby is not stuck on some bone which eould require positional changes. If your body is pushing uncontrollably and without your help and isnt progressing, its CLASSIC symptoms of a cervical lip. Its absolutely crazy to me they didn't diagnose it simply based off symptoms.
4. Encouraging pushing when its not progressing anything is really stupid. They should have encouraged lots of rest, peanut ball, and even tried some things to reduce contractions like water or inversion. Personally, i think inversion could have helped get pressure of the cervix so your body would stop pushing against the cervix.
5. They shouldn't have broken your water. Your labor was progressing, so breaking water is not going to help anything. In fact, breaking water can impede the cushion and cause irregular cervical dialation. The bulge of the water is VERY helpful with dialation. Its very possible that if they hadnt messed with the water then the cervical lip would have resolved with time on its own (without cohosh).
6. Once they dagnosed cervical lip (which they should have diagnosed so much earlier) and methods of relaxation are not helping, it is best to push the cervical lip out of the way for a few contractions. Very uncomfortable, but very successful too. For half the video i was screaming "Just push the cervical lip out of the way!". Im very suprised they didn't do that in the hospital. However, its possible that the swelling from all the other things was preventing the cervix from being accessible and pliable.
I would just like to say thad i have found no midwife (cpm or cnm) who would have handled the situation like this. I would highly recommend not going someplace that has rotating nurses because you should be able to have an intimate relationship with your provider and know that they are attending your birth. Definitely ask your next provider how they would handle a situation like this. I would highly encourage trying a home birth, not because there is anything wrong with a birth center, but i think you could really benefit from care from one person you truly know. I would not allow anyone other than your trusted provider to make ANY medical decisions or even check you. Its imperative that you know who is handling your care is informed and farmilar with all kinds of birth. Also, someone should be able to identify the symptoms of a cervical lip without having to feel it. At the end of the day, we all could benefit from knowing more about birth, however i find it very frustrating that your providers were so stupid. Not everyone should have to know the symptoms, treatment, and prevention of all birthing complications in order to have a safe natural birth! However, when you have providers like yours who are basically doing hospital craziness but just using black cohosh instead of pitocin! Im absolutely furious for you. It hurts my soul to hear of bad birthing centers and home birthing midwives because it puts a giant smear on the whole community. I appreciate your constant acknowledgement that your experience does not represent all home or birthing center births. I appreciate you not blaming the holistic birth approach for these completely manageable complications. I hope and pray you find peace in your birth and that aby future births (hospital, birthing center, or at home) would be redemptive in everyway.
What birthing center is this? If you can't say, then at least tell us which state it's in and the approximate location within that state..Please
I actually can say I was scared for no reason but Austin Birthing Center. Austin Texas. There are some people that I would say were nice and treated me well during the visits. So my biggest advice would be to ask for lots of information on the person that is going to actually be there when you give birth. Be vocal. And ask for someone else if you don’t like their care. Because there are so many different midwives and they switch shifts. They share with you their papers of how many years of experience but that’s NOT enough so be your own advocate.
Girl! I was terrified to give birth to my son…my daughter was only 1lb 10oz (she was unfortunately stillborn) but these drs were telling me I was about to have a 9 pounder 🥴 He was 5lbs 6oz 🤨
I’m so sorry 🙏🏼 ugh I really don’t understand why they scare us like that!! I truly think it’s a fear tactic to get you to be open to more interventions and say yes easily. Idk 😩
God was looking out for you and your baby. An Arizona mom just went through a similar experience with an incompetent midwife, difficult labor and not getting help soon enough when she needed it. Both mom and baby in that situation did not survive.
Sorry for your experience. As a student midwife who works with a variety of different types of midwife, I can tell you it had nothing to do with CPM or CNM. A bad midwife is a bad midwife regardless of their training👀
Glad you and baby are doing though🙏🏾💕
Agreed! Thank you 🤍
3 babies later with tons of hours into research and baby groups and this is the first time i am hearing of this cervical issue while laboring. Now I'm wondering if this is what happened w my 1st child that i pushed forwver and then ended up in cs after she pooped maconium.
My best friend is in nursing school for labor and delivery and she has learned about it so they definitely teach about it. but for some reason the midwife that was with me wasn’t able to identify it, we think it’s due to her lack of births shes done
There’s so much to unpack in this vid and comment section, but one thing I wanna say is that there are incompetent medical ‘professionals’ in every establishment.
I’m sorry that you had incompetent ones in the establishment that you wanted to give birth in, but it could have been the hospital that had the incompetent staff member. At the end of the day, from this story it sounds like it came down to that one staff member and her not getting a second opinion and that could have been anywhere - including the hospital.
As someone who has been in and out of hospital for years, I’ve had my fair share of instances where nurses have made decisions that have nearly killed me. I was on an operating table and my mum had called my specialist frantic because they were going to be removing my labia, the specialist went in and shut it down mid procedure. It was a nightmare, and that was at a HOSPITAL.
To say that this happened because you were in a birthing centre is simply not true, it’s not your fault that this happened. I hope it has equipped you with a bit more of an understanding of how and when to advocate for yourself in a situation like this, and to lean on your support systems especially in the moment. When we are in a high stress situation, it’s so important to lean on the ones we trust to help us make the call. I’m proud of you for making that decision despite it not being what you wanted 💕
Congratulations on your gorgeous girl and I hope that if you plan to have another bub, your delivery isnt clouded by this previous trauma 🥰
Doesn’t epidural have fentAnyl?
Honestly the only mistake I heard is the birthing center having you push against the cervical lip. You can usually move them out of the way but if it is too tight then you have to wait. A cervical lip is a very normal part of labor and a lot of times they can be stubborn. I have had it manually reduced with all my babies right before pushing. Some people do push past them though. You were having strong contractions because you were in transition. Those contractions would have been hell with or without the cohosh. I will also say that the epidural does lower your blood pressure which causes a lot of babies to have heart rate decelerations. Most of the time it corrects itself but i have seen decels not respond to interventions and lead to a csection. Hospitals are so quick to cut. I really dislike them for the most part.
Exactly! I learned later that the cervical lip is normal but then having me push was the opposite of what they should’ve done.
I’ve had 2 babies at very good hospitals (Cleveland clinic in Cleveland Ohio) and I’d Never go to a birthing center after hearing all these horror stories
Omg what horrendous care. I’m so sorry they did this to you, the fingers inside while you are contracting is unspeakable.
Thank you. Yes, still haunts me to this day
I am so sorry you had such a bad experience😢.I am giving birth is a birthing centre but the centre is within the hospital so its a quick transfer if needed. I am in the UK.
I would want areal good experience Dr to deliver my baby not a nurse or a midwife way
Don’t blame you!
This story really doesn't feel like the US medical system screwed you over. It sounds like you have a love RN at first and then lovely surgical team at the hospital. Sounds like you didn't like one nurse. You maybe consented to too many cervical checks and agree to drink potions but I don't see how any of that was the medical systems fault. Hell, you weren't even using the medical system during that time.
Never said this was about the medical system screwing me over
And this did not happen because I didn’t like a nurse?
The “potion” does the same thing as Pitocin does
@@OrganicLifewithDaniella That is not scientifically factual. There is not proven oral potion that acts with the same efficacy as pitocin. That is medial misinformation.
@@OrganicLifewithDaniella I agree with you on that. It didn't' happen because you didn't like a nurse. You made choices and took risks and shit happened not because of malpractice.
Wow. I had an ECV with my youngest. Mine was more invasive than most. But i would not call it painful at all. Not nearly as painful as a 37wker flipping to.transverse every few hours.
Wow what a totally disservice those nurses did to you! Birth and the mother are to be respected and left alone unless major red flags are present like bleeding or heart rate issues with the baby. I cannot believe the experience you had and I’m so sorry your dream birth was stolen for you. This video and your experience will help other women tho so thank you for sharing. Also just a note, Certified nurse midwives do advanced medical training in obstetrics and tend to be indoctrinated into the medical system and ideologies. Just like OBs they are more likely to view birth as a a scary fearful thing that needs to be managed, which we can see in some of the things they did with you unfortunately.
Also the epidural has fentanyl in it… it’s ok the baby is fine…
Getting in the car at 9cm😳
yeah, not fun
And walked up steps!
I think your expectations were a little too high for a birthing center. IMO😊
You can see it that way or, I was sold a hands off natural experience and the team that I was given wasn’t good at doing that.
@@OrganicLifewithDaniella Bingo! It's completely within any home birthing midwife or birthing center midwifes relm of care to address a cervical lip. It isn't uncommon and it is usually very treatable if you don't exasperate the problem.
When ever there is problem with baby heart beat dropping medical professional lie and say baby has fluid in lung same thing happen to me
I always think this!!! I really do think they lie sometimes as well
Ultimately it was your decision to put your baby’s life into the hands of the birthing center staff! The call is on you!
NO! Professionals have Dr. In front of their names or MD, after their names! If you choose to go holistic with your baby's entry in the world, the risks are on you!
What are you saying no to? Also, that’s obvious. Of course there’s always risks and you know that. But there’s risk everywhere there have been horrible stories at hospitals. So it’s unfair to think that a person who goes through this should completely blame themselves. ULTIMATELY, life’s not fair but when you trust “educated” people (professionals can be nurse midwives), lots of blame should be put on them as well.
This comment is so inconsiderate
Exactly she’s been thru enough. Mind your simple minded business…PERIOD
That’s fucked up to say. Ummm read the room?
Through out this entire video you are talking as if you are a doctor and dramatically making all these ASSUMPTIONS about why they were doing what they were doing. This was on you. Women need to stop this idea of not having babies at hospitals where MD's / Doctors are looking after you and where if severe emergencies can be saved IMMEDIATELY because you are ALREADY at a hospital so that precious time is not wasted trying to get to a hospital to save you and your baby's life. It's extremely selfish
You are one hell of a rude human being lol I’m simply stating my experience and I give credit to the hospital a lot, and I also share where I think I went wrong. At the end of the day the fact that you commented for the sole purpose of making ME feel bad when I’m a victim as well says who you are as a human being. It’s not selfish when you THOUGHT wholeheartedly that the decision you made was in the benefit of you and your baby. People can be wrong, it doesn’t mean their selfish.