The thing is, the concern was communicated before the event happened. So even if it seems petty, the husband should have put himself to the perspective of his wife and did not let his ego to prevail knowing that there is insecurity behind all this request. Reassuring through actions than words is way better. Aside from that, as much as we say we can be friends with ex, these individuals have knowledge of some personal details, intimate facts about you that makes them "not just part of the past". You had history, and WE NEVER FORGET HISTORY! As petty as it can be, I would always choose not saying goodbye (or even speaking) to someone I don't need in my life than having to argue with the person I choose to be with forever. And if I have petty requests as well (everyone has!), I wish my partner would do it to help me be at peace and happy. Just my two cents.
exactly i also dont get why they would be more concern of what the other person (ex) would think of them for not greeting them/saying goodbye to them rather than being concern of what their current love wants/request 🤦♂️
1. I think the wife does not feel secure with her husband. 2. Bakit mas gusto ni husband makipag small talk sa ex niya instead of valuing her wife's feelings? He values his ex's and the friends feelings more than his wife. Kaya nga sa wedding vows kasama yung "forsaking all others". Priority dapat si wife. If that's petty to the husband, and not for wife, I think the husband have to reconsider din his actions. Maybe he made her feel insecure in many ways many times. 3. I think the heart of the problem is that the husband has an ego problem. He wanted to show his ex that he's doing well. 4. Avoid all things that would endanger your marriage. Don't go near temptations. If they disagree talaga, tawagan dapat nila lahat ng ninong at ninang nila sa wedding. Yan ang purpose nila. hindi lang sila nandoon to be invited and give gifts.
i don’t ageee with this. sorry. Like kryz says they’re married, the husband needs to acknowledge his wife concern and respect that it contributes to their argument and do something to avoid the ex, say hi hello that’s it. he needs to respect his wife emotions towards this kind of situation and reassure her. It’s not about it’s ok because it is the past just to try to hide the reality that you have no insecurities whatsoever, if it bothers her? it bothers her, no negotiation period… end of discussion. just my opinion
Same, same! I don't agree, too. Here this out, Ms. Kryz. :) Ganito rin ang advice sa amin ng mentors namin, when my husband and I had the same argument before. They said, always prioritize yung nararamdaman ng partner mo at yung mafifeel niya before anything else. That time we were engaged palang pala, so papunta na siya sa pagiging husband ko, and kailangan na niya ipractice na ako at ang emotions ko ang palaging mauuna at importante. :)
I think your friend just needs reassurance from her husband that the past is all in the past. That she doesn’t have to feel threatened anymore because that girl is already an ex na lang. There are really people who are very sensitive, and needs constant assurance from their partners.
Tama tong comment na to. Your friend Ma'am Kryz is dapat makakuha siya ng reassurance coming from her husband kasi kung sa side naman talaga ng lalaki ay wala talagang something between them kasi tapos na ang lahat eh.
Depende sa personality ng ex. Kasi yong partner ko.. Yong ex nya my husband na but gusto nya makipagkita para makipgsex kasi hindi sila ok ng husband nya.
Up for this comment. As simple as not letting go of the wife's hand could've done so much better in that situation. Also, it's like there's more to the story than that just simple event. Like it's rooted deeper. Just my 2 cents.
The wife said it okey to say Hi nmn but not small talk and the wife's feeling is valid kasi Ex niya e, regardless if kasal na kayu etc he is still his Ex which is a big deal and if it's a small thing sa husband, why cant he just ignore his ex and I know maiintindihan nmn iyun ng Ex niya since he is married at kasama niya wife niya. Just ignore the ex, sa dami nmn ng tao sa event why bother talking to his ex. It's not like cinocontrol ni wife si husband and very clear nmn si wife na di siya comfortable, and it's just a small gesture of respect sa feelings ni wife so I'm with the wife here.
To reason out that it's you they got married to is not a complete assurance. Bakit lahat ba nang nagpakasal hindi nag-cheat dahil may pinakasalan na o lahat ba nang nagpakasal hindi nilandi kasi kasal na? Kasi if marriage guarantees that edi sana walang broken marriages. It's simple, the issue has been communicated by the spouse. Buti nga malinaw sinabi. Okay lang mag-hi and bye pero hindi kailangan one-on-one pa. Siguro pag binati ka, batiin na lang din. Pag kinausap ka, huwag mo na lang din pahabain. Kasi puwede ngang walang malisya sayo pero sa ex meron na pala. "Making ways" is exerting effort. Ano yan nagpapapansin? This goes both ways kaya kapag pinansin ka, huwag na lang din masyado pansinin. Past may be past but it's a fact both shared intimate moments with each other. Both has been special to each other at one point in their lives. There's no point in keeping in touch with an ex. Updated yan? This is interest. Hindi robot ang tao na nakakapag-completely clear ng history cache o emotion cache. Respect your partner's emotional boundaries.
Sorry, I would have to disagree with this. For me, the husband should have just said hi in general, and goodbye in general. Going out of his way to say goodbye to the ex after bidding bye to everybody else, in the presence of his wife who expressed her concern beforehand, is really disrespectful. Also, as past lovers, you shouldn't leave any opening for any spark to ignite again. It always starts with the "small" things. These "small" talks could be one of them. It depends for each person, but even marriage these days aren't assurances. Just because you're married doesn't mean you are temptation-proof. The wife/friend may have her insecurities, but she didn't come short of informing her husband about it. Mali talaga yung husband imo
I love Skypodcast with Slater and Kriz you guys are amazing. Just to share my take on this topic. If they have agreed to a compromise before the event, the hubby dapat di na gumawa ng way to pa say goodbye pa. Siguro dapat naging sensitive about it kasi wife nya naman yon nag request. Sana inacknowledge din ni hubby yung feelings ni wifey after ng pangyayare. Gaano ba kahirap piliin ang mga percieved na maliit na bagay para sa wife nya? Many he could have handled it. Like Sana sinama na lang ni hubby si wife ng nag giodbye or wala na lang talagang pag goodbye pa. More power guys!
Petty kung petty. Lalo na if it's a public event with the guy's friends. Example, a college reunion where I'm out of place and sila nung ex ay with common friends. The husband doesn't want to be in an awkward situation where he ignores the ex pero okay lang na yung wife will be put in an awkward situation sa harap nitong mga tropa ni guy. Regardless kahit anong event. Kung nasabi na sa una palang na please don't talk sa ex mo, please naman wag na. If it's okay for other girls, good for them, edi their husbands can talk to their exes. It really all comes down to respect and priorities. If you prioritize her kaysa sa ibang tao (ex mo), then mas iisipin mo yung mararamdaman niya kaysa sa mararamdaman ng ex mo if you don't do small talk. Napakaliit na bagay sayo diba.
i saw it on pinterest and i think it is relevant to the topic. it says: analyze if the insecurity and jealousy you're feeling is because of your relationship or because of past wounds are being triggered, and then respond accordingly by addressing what is within the relationship needs to be healed or what is within you that needs to be healed. i hope si ate (wife) will find peace on this. everyone should be PEACE IN LOVE
Sa point of siguro ng iba, pag panget ang pinalit sayo true love yon, pero kung panget din ang ex, patay baka true love ng partner mo yon. Parang ganun ang logic ni kriz pero the other way around lang.😂Wala ganda lang sya😊. More power guys! ❤
Im sorry but I dont agree with this. The wife clearly needs reassurance from her husband. And the matter that she told her husband about her getting uncomfortable with his ex shows that the wife wants reassurance. For me, valuing your wife’s feelings is more important than insisting on talking to your ex. Saying they are already married doesn’t end there. The husband should be more considerate to his wife’s feelings. And the weird thing here is the husband really went out of his way to say goodbye to his ex. That is clearly not okay.
The easiest answer is to follow your wife's request. However, the husband is also entitled to his perspective in this situation. Maybe there are deeper issues within the relationship that need to be discussed; insecurity, jealousy etc. Maybe she needs to learn how to improve herself (grow up! maybe not right now, but work on it for the future) This could also be a control issue, and most guys don't like to be controlled. Slater was right, that these things need to be discussed by both parties in an open manner. Remember that petty issues can ruin relationships.
I get your friend. Tho they are married already, it doesn’t stop there. They have to work on their marriage continuously. Hence work on each other’s insecurities, personal issues and etc., that affects their marriage. Given how the husband acts and behaves, I feel like the wife doesn’t really feel secured. Both of them should compromise. Honestly, in general, opening up about your insecurities is a big thing. So, always communicate even if that is the pettiest thing, never invalidate their feelings but instead, address it. There is always a reason behind why your partner acts a certain way. Again, it’s all about working on your marriage.
True. And the girl is already insecure so I don't get why the husband can't just do a small request for the girl. Like idk why its such a big deal for the boy na kausapin yung girl instead of appeasing her girl's insecurity. I hate to insuate but kahit ako ma-weweirdan. I hate to be sexist, pero ang dami kong nababasa na posts na a "girl should be understanding" to make "tiis" everything to have a healthy relationship but i disagree. They should both work it out. no gender involved. if the situation turned out around like if the guy say hi hello lang to the girl, the issue wouldn't be so big and ma-aappease pa yung girl.
I am just like Kryz's friend. I also have that rule to my husband. Pero this is impossible to apply if the ex is part of the close community. Luckily, none of his exes are malapit. Kung kakausapin man nya sasadyain na talaga.
But also I understand na kung friend of friend ang ex and mamemeet talaga and it is un avoidable, it is better to be chill about it. Kasi nag dadagdag lang ng tension yung wife sa husband nya. And that may end up highlighting the existence of the ex kung laging pinag uusapan. Like girl, stand your ground, be confident and make him feel happy and proud that he married you. Hindi kasi nkakaproud yung pagiging masyadong selosa kung wala nmang dahilan.
For me, as a girl is really a big deal. Because that ex may think na may "something pa si guy sa kanya" because he really had the effort to say goodbye. Saying hi will be OK but going out and saying "punta na kami" with many people out there, di naman kailangan siguro malaman naman ng ex na paalis na sila or ano kasi hindi lang naman yung ex nya ang nanjan.
Why do I feel like the wife projects her trauma from previous experiences that cut her deep. I agree with some comments that she only needs assurance because when a woman feels that she's secured she would have reacted the other way around. But maybe they also lack in communicating lang pud siguro on each sides reasoning and feelings. This is why I want to here them tackling about relationships and real life discussions, the always communicate and compromise. Luv this couple gud, hoping to see them around the city gud.
Pag mahal mo, hindi naman mahirap mag adjust e. This is situational, tho. Pero yung maliit na bagay maliit lang talaga kung kaya mong palagpasin na lang. Ang hirap magpaliwanag pero Happy wife = Happy life, yun na lang hahha
if the wife no longer gets convinced or feels assured by her husband's words, then it's a personal issue, probably rooted from insecurities or comparisons, etc. if it's come to a point where the husband already does everything he could yet the wife still has a problem about it, then it's something she has to deal with, overcome, and heal from on her own. that doubt is rooted from something and she has to acknowledge that, face that, and do something about that. on the other hand, the husband, as her partner, should support her in a way that respects her time to deal with her personal issues and help her succeed on that aspect. with that, he should meet her halfway. and by that i mean, let her deal with it first, understand and empathize with her, acknowledge her feelings and help her get over that. he should not put himself above her partner in times like this where she needs someone to be with on the process of growing and healing from something. sorry, i had to assume this about her, but that's what i think is actually going on. anyway, she clearly said she's not comfortable about it and he should respect that regardless of what he thinks or feels about the issue. just let her have her way first so there's no blocking the path to her personal freedom from whatever she's battling inside her, and when she's finally over the matter, they could communicate once again of what they want without all the negative emotions and thoughts blinding them.
but if this is not the case for the wife then, based on my own and others' experiences, the doubt we girls feel doesn't necessarily come from nothing. there's always something that we may have seen, heard, or whatever that have caused us to have this parang instinct about what's going on with our partner. and that instinct really, really helps. so i suggest they both talk about that-whatever it is that she found out that made her feel that way-as gentle and lovingly as they could. if there's really nothing, the husband should be comfortable, honest, and open enough to talk about it. i hope these two overcome this situation and learn to love each other more day by day.
For me lang, Slater is right. Mas magiging mabigat ang vibe kung hindi nagpapansinan. For me, okay lang ang hi and hello, small talk with friends including his ex, okay lang din. However, if they will small talk privately. It is big issue for me. 😊
I could really relate with this one. I went to Walmart one time. My husband was so aligaga having small talk with a girl and when I came, he was like, hey here’s my wife. The girl was like, hey nice to meet you, you’re pretty. Btw my husband is an American white guy. Last week when I saw the girl again at Walmart, wala na sila imikan. Hindi din Alam ng asawa ko na nalaman ko na ex GF nya yun, and I learned it from one of his friends din. Depende din talaga sa partner. I would say that my husband is pretty same like Slater.
*Hindi magiging insecure ang babae kung di feeling secured sa lalaki. So guys, RE-ASSURE YOUR WIVES naman and dont give them REASON/S to feel insecure.*
it's very imp that couples take time to talk about this issue because it always vary in every person. as for me, it's ok that my husband communicates with the "baby mama" because their relationship ended before i came into the picture. but if i come to know that he is exchanging dms with an ex who became the 3rd party when we were bf & gf would be an intense sit down talk.😅
kung ako yung asawa, mag hi or hello or goodbye lang ako if yung ex ang unang nag approach, pero hindi ako yung gagawa ng way para lang mag greet sa ex or say goodbye, kung hindi cya unang bumati edi goods bahala cya, kung nag greet cya, edi batiin ko lang din then make an excuse para makalayo at wala ng mapag usapan, not to the point na mag stay ka pa at may balak ka pa makipag small talk kuno. 😇😇😇
A soul tie is a soul tie. You chose your wife to be with you. So talking to your ex should not even be argued anymore. Even if your wife is okay with it. You have a past and it could do damge in your relationship little by little if you still insist in talking to them
If your GF feels uncomfortable that’s her true self awareness & a little insecurity bc to her it as his X. So her husband should honored her feeling uncomfortable bc he’s married to her & respect her feelings & move fwd … but since he went out of his way to say goodbye to her, is really not he is responsibility to her. He had unawaringly insulted his wife bc that’s a bit crossing over somewhere else & affects his wife now to doubt his love for her in trusting her reply to his past X… every couple is different bc it depends on much trust they both have. But should be wise in avoiding any awkward gestures to cross over to the uncomfortable spouse feelings … 💞
I thin she's insecure and she needs reassurance din. But ang sketchy nung laging lowbat yung phone kaya hindi makapag update? Why do i sense that the husband is cheating? Ems HAHAHAHAH i mean if that excuse is always gasgas na to the wife i think there's something really wrong even before meeting the ex happened, that's why she's paranoid. I guess that's the wife's instinct narin if there's something feels off communicate and give explanation. Okay lang yung Hi and Hello, but literal na high priority yung asawa mo when it comes to those things seems petty but always compromise, because pag wala kang ginawa lalo siyang maiinsecure she's going to get more paranoid with the husband's actions, despite that she trusts her asawa di mo parin naman maiiwasan mag isip ng ganyan.
The wife's emotions are valid. But she should also work on herself to have this feeling of assurance na siya ang wife and the only one. Kahit ano pang assurance or security ang gawin o sabihin ng husband niya sa kanya, it would still be up to her if she would let herself feel assured and secured of their marriage. May mga tao talagang sensitive but hindi naman kasi pwedeng forever kang insecure sa ex ng husband mo. Sorry but that is absurd. All women, girlfriend man o wife, should work on themselves when it comes to this. Easier said than done yeah, but if you want your men to do something about your insecurity, hindi ba dapat tayong mga women ang may mas unang gawin about it para maayos yun? Lahat is from within. Self-love, the feeling of security and assurance, independence kahit married na, being self-sufficient, yung joy and happiness, lahat yan it all boils down to ourselves and not to our partners. Why stress yourself and put malice over anything na wala naman? Stress and overthinking would only lead us to no good. Ninanakaw lang nun yung oras natin na sana dapat masaya tayo.
I actually don't have any problem with my husband's ex when we started until the conversation of my husband's sister and this ex came to my knowledge. And she said things to his sister that I think was inappropriate like, she was already waiting to have a baby with him but he didn't want to, like girl? Srsly? (We're expecting a baby at that time.)
Your friend should learn how to manage her emotions. She aways needs to be reassured. How about her, what can she do for her partner? It's so ungentleman-like if this is what her partner will always do. Is it okay for her that her partner will be branded as "under de saya" and "ungentleman" just to appease her insecurity? If she is not comfortable that her partner greets his exes, than she should accompany him and greet everybody or bid everybody goodbye. "Makikipagplastikan" sa mga exes? No it isn't kaplastikan, it is just a good moral and right conduct not to snob anybody. She should conduct herself higher than his exes and project a fine lady.
There's this thing called "retroactive jealousy". Try to research po about this. I guess I have it, same with the wife. And it's really not easy. It's a constant battle po.
I guess theres no reassurance, based sa sinabi ng husband nya, “petty” which hurts more sa girl na yun, dapat iconsider rin na what if may reason behind kaya ayaw nya sa ex na yun baka may nanfyari before kaya nasasaktan yun girl
Naku may kilala ako kinakausap pa din ang ex kahit bwisit na sa knya si ex na girl.. Gingawa pla ni guy yun pra pagselosin si girl na karelasyon nya now. Typical sa guy yun kc manipulative tlga.. 😅 kaya asar na si ex girl kaya blocked n sya sa lhat.
Baliktarin natin ang sitwasyon, kaya ba ng boy na makikita niya ang girl niya kinakausap parin ang ex niya? It's okay to talk with your ex as long as you two aren't alone, if it's a group conversation or greetings it's okay but when it's just you two and about you two it's weird.
Short convo with ex is nothing. Saying hi hello is nice, But when there is a chatting convos, na yung girl yung nag iinsist na magkaroon ng convo. Ay gurl! This is really not good.
i just think your friend reeks of insecurity. sorry but that is just the painful truth. she just needs to be more open and see the present through fresh eyes and not be blinded or imprisoned in the past. she is seeking security from the outside (husband) but that wont work. maybe it will work for how many times but it's not sustainable. sability comes from within. sooner or later husband will resent you coz you are simply imprisoning him. no one wants to be told what to do. complete trust and freedom is the key.
The thing is, the concern was communicated before the event happened. So even if it seems petty, the husband should have put himself to the perspective of his wife and did not let his ego to prevail knowing that there is insecurity behind all this request. Reassuring through actions than words is way better. Aside from that, as much as we say we can be friends with ex, these individuals have knowledge of some personal details, intimate facts about you that makes them "not just part of the past". You had history, and WE NEVER FORGET HISTORY! As petty as it can be, I would always choose not saying goodbye (or even speaking) to someone I don't need in my life than having to argue with the person I choose to be with forever. And if I have petty requests as well (everyone has!), I wish my partner would do it to help me be at peace and happy. Just my two cents.
❤
💯
Omg. This is the best explanation i heard for this topic. 👏🏻
Agree!
exactly i also dont get why they would be more concern of what the other person (ex) would think of them for not greeting them/saying goodbye to them rather than being concern of what their current love wants/request 🤦♂️
1. I think the wife does not feel secure with her husband.
2. Bakit mas gusto ni husband makipag small talk sa ex niya instead of valuing her wife's feelings? He values his ex's and the friends feelings more than his wife. Kaya nga sa wedding vows kasama yung "forsaking all others". Priority dapat si wife. If that's petty to the husband, and not for wife, I think the husband have to reconsider din his actions. Maybe he made her feel insecure in many ways many times.
3. I think the heart of the problem is that the husband has an ego problem. He wanted to show his ex that he's doing well.
4. Avoid all things that would endanger your marriage. Don't go near temptations.
If they disagree talaga, tawagan dapat nila lahat ng ninong at ninang nila sa wedding. Yan ang purpose nila. hindi lang sila nandoon to be invited and give gifts.
THIS!!!!!!!! One of the best comments I've read. Looks like from a marriage counseling session. Ganito dapat. 😊😊😊
💯
i don’t ageee with this. sorry. Like kryz says they’re married, the husband needs to acknowledge his wife concern and respect that it contributes to their argument and do something to avoid the ex, say hi hello that’s it. he needs to respect his wife emotions towards this kind of situation and reassure her. It’s not about it’s ok because it is the past just to try to hide the reality that you have no insecurities whatsoever, if it bothers her? it bothers her, no negotiation period… end of discussion.
just my opinion
Same here.
Same, same! I don't agree, too.
Here this out, Ms. Kryz. :) Ganito rin ang advice sa amin ng mentors namin, when my husband and I had the same argument before. They said, always prioritize yung nararamdaman ng partner mo at yung mafifeel niya before anything else. That time we were engaged palang pala, so papunta na siya sa pagiging husband ko, and kailangan na niya ipractice na ako at ang emotions ko ang palaging mauuna at importante. :)
I agreee!! 💯💯💯
Agree! Respect your partner. pano if its the other way around? Si wife ang kakausap sa ex? hmmp!😂
I think your friend just needs reassurance from her husband that the past is all in the past. That she doesn’t have to feel threatened anymore because that girl is already an ex na lang. There are really people who are very sensitive, and needs constant assurance from their partners.
Tama tong comment na to. Your friend Ma'am Kryz is dapat makakuha siya ng reassurance coming from her husband kasi kung sa side naman talaga ng lalaki ay wala talagang something between them kasi tapos na ang lahat eh.
Depende sa personality ng ex. Kasi yong partner ko.. Yong ex nya my husband na but gusto nya makipagkita para makipgsex kasi hindi sila ok ng husband nya.
Up for this comment. As simple as not letting go of the wife's hand could've done so much better in that situation. Also, it's like there's more to the story than that just simple event. Like it's rooted deeper. Just my 2 cents.
As her husband, her peace should always be his top priority than anyone else. Periodt.
💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
I agree 💯
It depends on the person. We are really different. However, if you respect your partner, what he/she feels is top priority.
Exactly
The wife said it okey to say Hi nmn but not small talk and the wife's feeling is valid kasi Ex niya e, regardless if kasal na kayu etc he is still his Ex which is a big deal and if it's a small thing sa husband, why cant he just ignore his ex and I know maiintindihan nmn iyun ng Ex niya since he is married at kasama niya wife niya. Just ignore the ex, sa dami nmn ng tao sa event why bother talking to his ex. It's not like cinocontrol ni wife si husband and very clear nmn si wife na di siya comfortable, and it's just a small gesture of respect sa feelings ni wife so I'm with the wife here.
To reason out that it's you they got married to is not a complete assurance. Bakit lahat ba nang nagpakasal hindi nag-cheat dahil may pinakasalan na o lahat ba nang nagpakasal hindi nilandi kasi kasal na? Kasi if marriage guarantees that edi sana walang broken marriages. It's simple, the issue has been communicated by the spouse. Buti nga malinaw sinabi. Okay lang mag-hi and bye pero hindi kailangan one-on-one pa. Siguro pag binati ka, batiin na lang din. Pag kinausap ka, huwag mo na lang din pahabain. Kasi puwede ngang walang malisya sayo pero sa ex meron na pala. "Making ways" is exerting effort. Ano yan nagpapapansin? This goes both ways kaya kapag pinansin ka, huwag na lang din masyado pansinin. Past may be past but it's a fact both shared intimate moments with each other. Both has been special to each other at one point in their lives. There's no point in keeping in touch with an ex. Updated yan? This is interest. Hindi robot ang tao na nakakapag-completely clear ng history cache o emotion cache. Respect your partner's emotional boundaries.
“ They broke up recently, then they got married. “ so yeah 🤷♀️ The friend fears a TOTGA situation.
Sorry, I would have to disagree with this. For me, the husband should have just said hi in general, and goodbye in general. Going out of his way to say goodbye to the ex after bidding bye to everybody else, in the presence of his wife who expressed her concern beforehand, is really disrespectful. Also, as past lovers, you shouldn't leave any opening for any spark to ignite again. It always starts with the "small" things. These "small" talks could be one of them.
It depends for each person, but even marriage these days aren't assurances. Just because you're married doesn't mean you are temptation-proof.
The wife/friend may have her insecurities, but she didn't come short of informing her husband about it. Mali talaga yung husband imo
Well said
💯💯💯💯💯
I AGREE.
I love Skypodcast with Slater and Kriz you guys are amazing.
Just to share my take on this topic. If they have agreed to a compromise before the event, the hubby dapat di na gumawa ng way to pa say goodbye pa. Siguro dapat naging sensitive about it kasi wife nya naman yon nag request. Sana inacknowledge din ni hubby yung feelings ni wifey after ng pangyayare.
Gaano ba kahirap piliin ang mga percieved na maliit na bagay para sa wife nya?
Many he could have handled it. Like Sana sinama na lang ni hubby si wife ng nag giodbye or wala na lang talagang pag goodbye pa. More power guys!
Petty kung petty. Lalo na if it's a public event with the guy's friends. Example, a college reunion where I'm out of place and sila nung ex ay with common friends. The husband doesn't want to be in an awkward situation where he ignores the ex pero okay lang na yung wife will be put in an awkward situation sa harap nitong mga tropa ni guy.
Regardless kahit anong event. Kung nasabi na sa una palang na please don't talk sa ex mo, please naman wag na. If it's okay for other girls, good for them, edi their husbands can talk to their exes. It really all comes down to respect and priorities. If you prioritize her kaysa sa ibang tao (ex mo), then mas iisipin mo yung mararamdaman niya kaysa sa mararamdaman ng ex mo if you don't do small talk. Napakaliit na bagay sayo diba.
i saw it on pinterest and i think it is relevant to the topic. it says:
analyze if the insecurity and jealousy you're feeling is because of your relationship or because of past wounds are being triggered, and then respond accordingly by addressing what is within the relationship needs to be healed or what is within you that needs to be healed.
i hope si ate (wife) will find peace on this. everyone should be PEACE IN LOVE
Sa point of siguro ng iba, pag panget ang pinalit sayo true love yon, pero kung panget din ang ex, patay baka true love ng partner mo yon. Parang ganun ang logic ni kriz pero the other way around lang.😂Wala ganda lang sya😊. More power guys! ❤
Im sorry but I dont agree with this. The wife clearly needs reassurance from her husband. And the matter that she told her husband about her getting uncomfortable with his ex shows that the wife wants reassurance.
For me, valuing your wife’s feelings is more important than insisting on talking to your ex. Saying they are already married doesn’t end there. The husband should be more considerate to his wife’s feelings. And the weird thing here is the husband really went out of his way to say goodbye to his ex. That is clearly not okay.
One of the best comments. 💯💯💯💯💯
The easiest answer is to follow your wife's request. However, the husband is also entitled to his perspective in this situation. Maybe there are deeper issues within the relationship that need to be discussed; insecurity, jealousy etc. Maybe she needs to learn how to improve herself (grow up! maybe not right now, but work on it for the future) This could also be a control issue, and most guys don't like to be controlled. Slater was right, that these things need to be discussed by both parties in an open manner. Remember that petty issues can ruin relationships.
I get your friend. Tho they are married already, it doesn’t stop there. They have to work on their marriage continuously. Hence work on each other’s insecurities, personal issues and etc., that affects their marriage.
Given how the husband acts and behaves, I feel like the wife doesn’t really feel secured. Both of them should compromise. Honestly, in general, opening up about your insecurities is a big thing. So, always communicate even if that is the pettiest thing, never invalidate their feelings but instead, address it.
There is always a reason behind why your partner acts a certain way.
Again, it’s all about working on your marriage.
💯💯💯💯💯
True. And the girl is already insecure so I don't get why the husband can't just do a small request for the girl. Like idk why its such a big deal for the boy na kausapin yung girl instead of appeasing her girl's insecurity. I hate to insuate but kahit ako ma-weweirdan. I hate to be sexist, pero ang dami kong nababasa na posts na a "girl should be understanding" to make "tiis" everything to have a healthy relationship but i disagree. They should both work it out. no gender involved. if the situation turned out around like if the guy say hi hello lang to the girl, the issue wouldn't be so big and ma-aappease pa yung girl.
I am just like Kryz's friend. I also have that rule to my husband. Pero this is impossible to apply if the ex is part of the close community. Luckily, none of his exes are malapit. Kung kakausapin man nya sasadyain na talaga.
But also I understand na kung friend of friend ang ex and mamemeet talaga and it is un avoidable, it is better to be chill about it. Kasi nag dadagdag lang ng tension yung wife sa husband nya. And that may end up highlighting the existence of the ex kung laging pinag uusapan. Like girl, stand your ground, be confident and make him feel happy and proud that he married you. Hindi kasi nkakaproud yung pagiging masyadong selosa kung wala nmang dahilan.
It's my first time hearing your podcast and I immediately disagree with you regarding your thoughts about exes 😭
different people have diff threshold on jealousy and overthinking kase. its a process i think for a person to stop/control his/her overthinking... 😁
For me, as a girl is really a big deal. Because that ex may think na may "something pa si guy sa kanya" because he really had the effort to say goodbye. Saying hi will be OK but going out and saying "punta na kami" with many people out there, di naman kailangan siguro malaman naman ng ex na paalis na sila or ano kasi hindi lang naman yung ex nya ang nanjan.
Why do I feel like the wife projects her trauma from previous experiences that cut her deep. I agree with some comments that she only needs assurance because when a woman feels that she's secured she would have reacted the other way around. But maybe they also lack in communicating lang pud siguro on each sides reasoning and feelings. This is why I want to here them tackling about relationships and real life discussions, the always communicate and compromise. Luv this couple gud, hoping to see them around the city gud.
Pag mahal mo, hindi naman mahirap mag adjust e. This is situational, tho. Pero yung maliit na bagay maliit lang talaga kung kaya mong palagpasin na lang. Ang hirap magpaliwanag pero
Happy wife = Happy life, yun na lang hahha
Hayy stress reliver ko talaga ang makinig sa inyung dalawa, lalo na lagi akong naiiwan mag isa sa bahay. Sana ung mahaba pang videos. ❤️
if the wife no longer gets convinced or feels assured by her husband's words, then it's a personal issue, probably rooted from insecurities or comparisons, etc. if it's come to a point where the husband already does everything he could yet the wife still has a problem about it, then it's something she has to deal with, overcome, and heal from on her own. that doubt is rooted from something and she has to acknowledge that, face that, and do something about that.
on the other hand, the husband, as her partner, should support her in a way that respects her time to deal with her personal issues and help her succeed on that aspect. with that, he should meet her halfway. and by that i mean, let her deal with it first, understand and empathize with her, acknowledge her feelings and help her get over that. he should not put himself above her partner in times like this where she needs someone to be with on the process of growing and healing from something. sorry, i had to assume this about her, but that's what i think is actually going on. anyway, she clearly said she's not comfortable about it and he should respect that regardless of what he thinks or feels about the issue.
just let her have her way first so there's no blocking the path to her personal freedom from whatever she's battling inside her, and when she's finally over the matter, they could communicate once again of what they want without all the negative emotions and thoughts blinding them.
but if this is not the case for the wife then, based on my own and others' experiences, the doubt we girls feel doesn't necessarily come from nothing. there's always something that we may have seen, heard, or whatever that have caused us to have this parang instinct about what's going on with our partner. and that instinct really, really helps. so i suggest they both talk about that-whatever it is that she found out that made her feel that way-as gentle and lovingly as they could. if there's really nothing, the husband should be comfortable, honest, and open enough to talk about it. i hope these two overcome this situation and learn to love each other more day by day.
If you guys break up, I'm giving up on love. More power to Skypodcast!
For me lang, Slater is right. Mas magiging mabigat ang vibe kung hindi nagpapansinan. For me, okay lang ang hi and hello, small talk with friends including his ex, okay lang din. However, if they will small talk privately. It is big issue for me. 😊
I dont agree slater, this is the first 😅
I could really relate with this one. I went to Walmart one time. My husband was so aligaga having small talk with a girl and when I came, he was like, hey here’s my wife. The girl was like, hey nice to meet you, you’re pretty. Btw my husband is an American white guy. Last week when I saw the girl again at Walmart, wala na sila imikan. Hindi din Alam ng asawa ko na nalaman ko na ex GF nya yun, and I learned it from one of his friends din. Depende din talaga sa partner. I would say that my husband is pretty same like Slater.
*Hindi magiging insecure ang babae kung di feeling secured sa lalaki. So guys, RE-ASSURE YOUR WIVES naman and dont give them REASON/S to feel insecure.*
Dapat tlaga before you get married may couples counseling 😂
it's very imp that couples take time to talk about this issue because it always vary in every person. as for me, it's ok that my husband communicates with the "baby mama" because their relationship ended before i came into the picture. but if i come to know that he is exchanging dms with an ex who became the 3rd party when we were bf & gf would be an intense sit down talk.😅
It is very concerning and it will become a big problem to deal with later on...that is psychological embalance.
Nice one S'Slater 👍
kung ako yung asawa, mag hi or hello or goodbye lang ako if yung ex ang unang nag approach, pero hindi ako yung gagawa ng way para lang mag greet sa ex or say goodbye, kung hindi cya unang bumati edi goods bahala cya, kung nag greet cya, edi batiin ko lang din then make an excuse para makalayo at wala ng mapag usapan, not to the point na mag stay ka pa at may balak ka pa makipag small talk kuno. 😇😇😇
A soul tie is a soul tie. You chose your wife to be with you. So talking to your ex should not even be argued anymore. Even if your wife is okay with it. You have a past and it could do damge in your relationship little by little if you still insist in talking to them
If your GF feels uncomfortable that’s her true self awareness & a little insecurity bc to her it as his X. So her husband should honored her feeling uncomfortable bc he’s married to her & respect her feelings & move fwd … but since he went out of his way to say goodbye to her, is really not he is responsibility to her. He had unawaringly insulted his wife bc that’s a bit crossing over somewhere else & affects his wife now to doubt his love for her in trusting her reply to his past X… every couple is different bc it depends on much trust they both have. But should be wise in avoiding any awkward gestures to cross over to the uncomfortable spouse feelings … 💞
I thin she's insecure and she needs reassurance din. But ang sketchy nung laging lowbat yung phone kaya hindi makapag update? Why do i sense that the husband is cheating? Ems HAHAHAHAH i mean if that excuse is always gasgas na to the wife i think there's something really wrong even before meeting the ex happened, that's why she's paranoid. I guess that's the wife's instinct narin if there's something feels off communicate and give explanation. Okay lang yung Hi and Hello, but literal na high priority yung asawa mo when it comes to those things seems petty but always compromise, because pag wala kang ginawa lalo siyang maiinsecure she's going to get more paranoid with the husband's actions, despite that she trusts her asawa di mo parin naman maiiwasan mag isip ng ganyan.
Morning podcast🤗
The wife's emotions are valid. But she should also work on herself to have this feeling of assurance na siya ang wife and the only one. Kahit ano pang assurance or security ang gawin o sabihin ng husband niya sa kanya, it would still be up to her if she would let herself feel assured and secured of their marriage. May mga tao talagang sensitive but hindi naman kasi pwedeng forever kang insecure sa ex ng husband mo. Sorry but that is absurd. All women, girlfriend man o wife, should work on themselves when it comes to this. Easier said than done yeah, but if you want your men to do something about your insecurity, hindi ba dapat tayong mga women ang may mas unang gawin about it para maayos yun? Lahat is from within. Self-love, the feeling of security and assurance, independence kahit married na, being self-sufficient, yung joy and happiness, lahat yan it all boils down to ourselves and not to our partners. Why stress yourself and put malice over anything na wala naman? Stress and overthinking would only lead us to no good. Ninanakaw lang nun yung oras natin na sana dapat masaya tayo.
Totally agree with this.
Exactly 💯
I actually don't have any problem with my husband's ex when we started until the conversation of my husband's sister and this ex came to my knowledge. And she said things to his sister that I think was inappropriate like, she was already waiting to have a baby with him but he didn't want to, like girl? Srsly? (We're expecting a baby at that time.)
Your friend should learn how to manage her emotions. She aways needs to be reassured. How about her, what can she do for her partner? It's so ungentleman-like if this is what her partner will always do. Is it okay for her that her partner will be branded as "under de saya" and "ungentleman" just to appease her insecurity? If she is not comfortable that her partner greets his exes, than she should accompany him and greet everybody or bid everybody goodbye. "Makikipagplastikan" sa mga exes? No it isn't kaplastikan, it is just a good moral and right conduct not to snob anybody.
She should conduct herself higher than his exes and project a fine lady.
Hello po for me in that situation the important is trust both of them and openness.
Hi Sir Slater and Mam Kryz always waiting for your new uploads!!! ❤❤❤❤
vern?
#Insecurities yun lang yon 🤣
There's this thing called "retroactive jealousy". Try to research po about this. I guess I have it, same with the wife. And it's really not easy. It's a constant battle po.
i wish there were some english subtitles :(
Lol ang effort nman nung husband nag goodbye pa sa ex. pero mag effort kay wife mag update laging lowbat ang reason. 😅 hmmmm..
Kawawa naman yung wife. Hindi nyoan lang inintindi mgkakaiba nmn tayo.
I guess theres no reassurance, based sa sinabi ng husband nya, “petty” which hurts more sa girl na yun, dapat iconsider rin na what if may reason behind kaya ayaw nya sa ex na yun baka may nanfyari before kaya nasasaktan yun girl
Baka ayaw mag update ng whereabouts kasi ayaw mag sinungaling.
Naku may kilala ako kinakausap pa din ang ex kahit bwisit na sa knya si ex na girl.. Gingawa pla ni guy yun pra pagselosin si girl na karelasyon nya now. Typical sa guy yun kc manipulative tlga.. 😅 kaya asar na si ex girl kaya blocked n sya sa lhat.
Ok lang namn na maging civil yong mag e wag lang yong nag update sa nangyayari sa buhay nila😂😂
oooo so fresh
Baliktarin natin ang sitwasyon, kaya ba ng boy na makikita niya ang girl niya kinakausap parin ang ex niya?
It's okay to talk with your ex as long as you two aren't alone, if it's a group conversation or greetings it's okay but when it's just you two and about you two it's weird.
baka hindi secure si girl sa relationship nila dahil nafefeel nya iti
❤️
redflag c guy
Short convo with ex is nothing. Saying hi hello is nice, But when there is a chatting convos, na yung girl yung nag iinsist na magkaroon ng convo. Ay gurl! This is really not good.
👀
♥️♥️♥️
Wow naka white si slater hahahaha
i just think your friend reeks of insecurity. sorry but that is just the painful truth. she just needs to be more open and see the present through fresh eyes and not be blinded or imprisoned in the past. she is seeking security from the outside (husband) but that wont work. maybe it will work for how many times but it's not sustainable. sability comes from within. sooner or later husband will resent you coz you are simply imprisoning him. no one wants to be told what to do. complete trust and freedom is the key.