Thanks for highlighting my question. Let me add more details. He is retired, and he does pay, I paid when we went out for his birthday. He has introduced me to many of his family members. I have told him he is sending me mixed signals. I get frustrated because I feel like I shouldn't have to tell a 62 year old how to initiate a date.
You shouldn’t have to tell him how to initiate a date. And my advice is to stop doing it. He’s way too old not to know the basics. You meeting his friends and family means absolutely nothing. Especially when he’s not asking you out. IF you really like this man you should maybe tell him your issues with him not initiating dates. But you’ve been out five times… imo you’ve already wasted too much time on him. Good luck to you though!
If I were her, I would initiate another get together. And sometime during the course of that time, playfully mention that she has noticed that she's the one who always initiates meeting up. Then casually ask "what's up w that? Is there a reason u text but don't seem eager to meet up?" It shouldn't be in any scolding or criticizing tone but in a 100% curious & lighthearted way, like she is really intrigued & curious as to why this is.
Let him know you like to know him better, that your interested and attracted to him. Invite him to your home for a meal. If your Kitty get moist when you talk to him.
She can ask that over the phone atp. I know it’s important sometimes to see a persons face when asking questions but in this case she’s already wasted too much time with this dude.
@aj25055 Good point for a normal situation. But it doesn't even sound like they do much phone convos, just these weird daily texts 🤔 at this point I'd really wanna see his face & not let him squirm out of answering
Hummmm! There are questions that can be asked, but if he’s showing her his level of interest then she has to choose if it’s what she wants. If she’s good with casual, then great. If not, then take his behavior as his choice and move forward and make herself available for other options.
My situation is similar, we’ve been texting everyday for the last two years. Went on a date one time and he brought his friend with him. I thought he was gay. He’s an old flame from high school who I really have feelings for. I would love ❤to have him as a closer friend/companion.
Intentions??? Does he know what you want? Do you know what he wants? Do you know what YOU want? Do you have "deep" conversations that go beyond "good morning" and "good night"? Do you share each others dreams, wishes, desires, long term goals and plans? What I hear the way the info was shared, is that this is mostly casual chit-chat, with the bare minimum [which she needs to initiate] in personal contact. To me that's not intentional dating, that's hanging out ever so often, and maybe a lot of wishful thinking on her behalf and her imagination running rampant [seriously no insult intended, but we all do that at times]. It also sounds like this is all he needs/wants [or maybe thinks he can get] from you - to fulfill his social needs for interaction. If you don't know all that much about him deep down, he could be anything from being a hermit, a sigma, a lonely or disgruntled divorcee/widower, poor or barely getting by, have social anxiety, a roster of rotating women, or a serious relationship that you are not aware off. I would say if you're on really good + deep terms and also emotionally connect, it's time for a candid sit-down and have "that talk" talk. I generally don't like the idea of a woman having to initiate "the talk", but if you never declared your goals or intentions previously, or were unclear about them - maybe you should. If this is as shallow and superfluous as it sounds, I'd just tell him it's time to let this go or maybe just mentally disengage, sit back and see what he does when you no longer respond or reply as he is expecting. Some men can be a little bit dense, especially initially when they don't know where you're coming from, but 7 months is way past the time I would move on if nothing is happening from his side. To be clear - if you let this go, you need to really LET IT GO all the way. No contact. Because it somehow still fulfills some of your needs as limited as it is right now - maybe because it's safe, or gives you a social connection you crave, or perhaps you crave the steadfast reliability of his messages. But this also seems to hold you back from stepping out of your comfort zone to make yourself available for others...
The advice is learn from being 60 or older...if a man wants to take you out he will let you know .if he doesn't ask he doesn't want to..no one is 20 years old and time remaining is precious..no time left for games or trying to open someone's mind..he is the same age as you he is not a boy..he is a full grown man..stop wasting time ..move on and love yourself with what time you have left
If you are looking for a relationship I'd say go out with several people in the same time period and if you think one of them is suitable just drop the others and concentrate on them that way you are not wasting your time like you would dating one at a time ? So
Greetings, I simply ❤️ your channel. Your "Saturday Morning Question of the Week" brings to mind the times of "Dear Abby." I'm looking forward to joining in on the conversations. To that end, here is what I would do. I suggest asking the gentleman, at their next meeting: what is his intent for THIS relationship/friendship/situationship going forward? I would pose the question in a manner so as to not make him feel defensive, offensive or insulted. Depending on his response, I would then share my decision at THAT meeting. Thanks.
I love how you remind us that we are all different and what works for one person won't necessarily work for another. I have a few thoughts, but these are my opinions, and opinions are like belly buttons - we all have one and if you prefer yours, you certainly don't need mine. No offence taken.: 1. Enjoying time together doesn’t need to cost money. 2. If you are interested in pursuing a deeper connection with this person, it starts with communication. It’s already been 7 months. I dunno, but why don’t you just come out and ask him what’s up? I am lousy at wording things (!) so I’m not the one to advise exactly what to say, but maybe others could chime in on the discussion. My point is, I don’t think I’d want to be involved with someone with whom I’m reluctant to bring up difficult topics. 3. Maybe I’d also ask myself if I believe I am worthy of being pursued. Seems like he has a convenient thing going on that’s been working. I don’t mean to hurt your feelings in any way, but wouldn’t you prefer dating someone who can’t wait to see you again?
@@bobfisher-zd2ltthe advice was hardly toxic. Did you even listen to the video? The man doesn’t initiate any dates. Yes he pays but so what. If it wasn’t for her they’d never go out. Men have zero problems asking for what they want. This lady is seemingly wasting her time.
4:03 i hate text. As a single 62 black man, a women should have resources, ask me out. You want to get tighten up ? Well closed mouth don't get fed. Im not courting at 62. A sound gentleman in good condition who knows his value has options younger than 60, and quality Black Men are in short supply.
@@johnballard6725there’s a real reason why he’s single and he will remain that way. Women younger than him do not go for men who don’t pay for dates. I bet he knows this hence why he’s single.
Why complain? Just make a decision. Maybe she stated she likes being independent. If he is not initiating, regardless of the reasons, and you don't like it, then stop asking. If he is a good guy then stay with him and keep asking him out as he is still going out on the dates. Now, if he starts making excuses not to go out, then yeah, move on.
سِالُتتكِ بّالُلُُه 💔الُجْلُيَلُ الُجْبّارَ انَ تْنَقًذَنَا قًبّلُ انَ نَمٌوَتْ مٌنَ شِدِتْ الُجْوَع انَتٌْخيَكِ انَيَ دٌِخلُةِ ْعلُى الُلُُه تْمٌ ْعلُيَكِ انَيَ فَيَ وَجُْهك انَـيَ اخـتْكِ انَـيَ اتْرَجْـاكِ اتْـوَسِـلُ الُـيَـكِ انَـقًـذَنَا لُـوَجُْـه الُـلُُـه. يَــشِــُهدِ الُــلُــُه يَاٌخـيَ انَ مٌنَ الُــصّــبّاحُ حُـتْا الُـانَ يَــحُــرَمٌ ْعـــلُيَـنَـا الاكل غير الماء ( (ا..،.، ..،..،.،.،..،.،..،..،..،..،.،..،..،.،.،..،.،..،.،...،..،..،.،.،..،...،.،.،.،..،.،.،.،..،..،...،.،...،..،...،..،..،.،..،..، ..I am your sister from Yemen, and by Allah I only spoke out of hunger and distress. My mother, my brothers, and I lessons and tears. We are in a situation that only Allah knows about. Allah is sufficient for us, and He is the best disposer of affairs for those who brought us to this situation. By Allah Almighty, I did not write this appeal out of distress and distress. Poverty, O world, they have felt it So, I hope for you. By Allah Almighty, Lord of the Great Throne, he ate what I had in the house. By Allah, my brothers, he is my brothers by sitting in the house. Who has no food? By Allah, we are in a very difficult situation. We have 4 people entering the house, and my father has died, and there is no one who can depend on us and who lives in it.We live in a rented house because we cannot pay the rent we owe. ''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' My brother, my first words are: I swear to Allah that I will not lie to you or deceive you. I am a Yemeni girl displaced from the war. My family and I live in a rented house in Al-Shahrab 20,000 Yemenis among us, and now we owe 60,000 for 3 months. The owner of the house is one of the people who does not have mercy, by God, my brother. He comes every day, insulting us, talking about us, and moving from the house to the street because we were unable to pay him the rent. The neighbors saw us crying and came back.They came back to talk to the neighbors and we were given the weekend. So we made him swear by Allah. He will take us out into the street. Have mercy on him and us. Our country is due to this war and we do not find food for our day, and my brothers and I live in a difficult life. Our father died, may Allah have mercy on him, and we have no one in this world who was with us in these harsh circumstances. My younger brothers went out into the street and saw...The neighbors eat and stand at their door in order to give them bread even if they break it. By Allah, to whom belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth, they closed the door and expelled them and came back crying. They are dying of hunger. No one has mercy on them and a holiday is returned. I have made a living, and now if one of us helps us with a kilo of flour, I swear to Allah, I am dying of hunger. My brother, I am an alien to God. Then, I ask you to help me for the sake of Allah. I ask you, by Allah, to love goodness and to help me, even if you can, by messaging me on WhatsApp.On this number 00967779509554 and ask for the name of my card and send it and do not be late and may Allah reward you with all the best, my brothers Sagar, see how they are and help us and save us before they throw us out in the street, you will be lost or we will die of hunger. My family and I ask you, by Allah, if you are able to help us, do not be late and may Allah reward you wellππ..`/--~«««~-◊◊◊~~¡~¡~;I..i.i.i.i.i.¡..!!i»≪.I.،:;^|||-،،.،.&،،,.π’,;)}’,;)=>[[}>];;....&.&.....!.!...............
Keep it moving, sister. If he shows you who he is, believe him. Having to initiate dates is a BIG RED FLAG. Don't waste your time.
He is just not that interested and has other options or perhaps he just wants to stay single and be friends and not in a relationship….
BW don't do male friends over 50
Thanks for highlighting my question. Let me add more details. He is retired, and he does pay, I paid when we went out for his birthday. He has introduced me to many of his family members. I have told him he is sending me mixed signals. I get frustrated because I feel like I shouldn't have to tell a 62 year old how to initiate a date.
Tell him you expect him to initiate dates as that shows his interest or lack of it but I think a lady can occasionally suggest a date too.
Sis, 7 months five dates is not fruitful. Date other men and don't be too available. Go live your life.
You shouldn’t have to tell him how to initiate a date. And my advice is to stop doing it. He’s way too old not to know the basics. You meeting his friends and family means absolutely nothing. Especially when he’s not asking you out. IF you really like this man you should maybe tell him your issues with him not initiating dates. But you’ve been out five times… imo you’ve already wasted too much time on him. Good luck to you though!
If I were her, I would initiate another get together. And sometime during the course of that time, playfully mention that she has noticed that she's the one who always initiates meeting up. Then casually ask "what's up w that? Is there a reason u text but don't seem eager to meet up?"
It shouldn't be in any scolding or criticizing tone but in a 100% curious & lighthearted way, like she is really intrigued & curious as to why this is.
@@msbeecee1 love it!
Good idea so as not waste her time.
Let him know you like to know him better, that your interested and attracted to him. Invite him to your home for a meal. If your Kitty get moist when you talk to him.
She can ask that over the phone atp. I know it’s important sometimes to see a persons face when asking questions but in this case she’s already wasted too much time with this dude.
@aj25055 Good point for a normal situation. But it doesn't even sound like they do much phone convos, just these weird daily texts 🤔 at this point I'd really wanna see his face & not let him squirm out of answering
Hummmm! There are questions that can be asked, but if he’s showing her his level of interest then she has to choose if it’s what she wants. If she’s good with casual, then great. If not, then take his behavior as his choice and move forward and make herself available for other options.
when a man want you, he'll be calling and asking to take you out. He's not really interested. He may be in another relationship
Hey😊 just subscribe!! Thanks for your advice today. I'm single and 58. Haven't taken the dive into dating yet, but I'm getting there.
@@veronicamoore5443 Welcome!
A very good day to everyone 🌹🌹
He is not interested. When a man wants YOU, you will know...
I am very transparent, but I hate when the man tries to hide stuff. That's why I'm single
My situation is similar, we’ve been texting everyday for the last two years. Went on a date one time and he brought his friend with him. I thought he was gay. He’s an old flame from high school who I really have feelings for. I would love ❤to have him as a closer friend/companion.
At that age there is no benefit to a man from a committed relationship with a woman. Only potential liability. Best to keep it casual.
Some people in later life would prefer a committed relationship with a pleasant natured compatible other.
I would love to start dating.
Intentions??? Does he know what you want? Do you know what he wants? Do you know what YOU want? Do you have "deep" conversations that go beyond "good morning" and "good night"? Do you share each others dreams, wishes, desires, long term goals and plans?
What I hear the way the info was shared, is that this is mostly casual chit-chat, with the bare minimum [which she needs to initiate] in personal contact. To me that's not intentional dating, that's hanging out ever so often, and maybe a lot of wishful thinking on her behalf and her imagination running rampant [seriously no insult intended, but we all do that at times]. It also sounds like this is all he needs/wants [or maybe thinks he can get] from you - to fulfill his social needs for interaction. If you don't know all that much about him deep down, he could be anything from being a hermit, a sigma, a lonely or disgruntled divorcee/widower, poor or barely getting by, have social anxiety, a roster of rotating women, or a serious relationship that you are not aware off.
I would say if you're on really good + deep terms and also emotionally connect, it's time for a candid sit-down and have "that talk" talk. I generally don't like the idea of a woman having to initiate "the talk", but if you never declared your goals or intentions previously, or were unclear about them - maybe you should. If this is as shallow and superfluous as it sounds, I'd just tell him it's time to let this go or maybe just mentally disengage, sit back and see what he does when you no longer respond or reply as he is expecting. Some men can be a little bit dense, especially initially when they don't know where you're coming from, but 7 months is way past the time I would move on if nothing is happening from his side.
To be clear - if you let this go, you need to really LET IT GO all the way. No contact. Because it somehow still fulfills some of your needs as limited as it is right now - maybe because it's safe, or gives you a social connection you crave, or perhaps you crave the steadfast reliability of his messages. But this also seems to hold you back from stepping out of your comfort zone to make yourself available for others...
Good advice
Probably married. He's not interested in anything, she's just something to do.
@afrobluatlanta2380 he is not married, I have known him for 8 years and been to his home several times, we just decided recently to date.
Your main point and my main question is: Who is paying for these dates? I would like to know the answer.
He pays for the majority, I paid for one, it was his birthday.
The advice is learn from being 60 or older...if a man wants to take you out he will let you know .if he doesn't ask he doesn't want to..no one is 20 years old and time remaining is precious..no time left for games or trying to open someone's mind..he is the same age as you he is not a boy..he is a full grown man..stop wasting time ..move on and love yourself with what time you have left
Agree!
If you are looking for a relationship I'd say go out with several people in the same time period and if you think one of them is suitable just drop the others and concentrate on them that way you are not wasting your time like you would dating one at a time ? So
Greetings, I simply ❤️ your channel. Your "Saturday Morning Question of the Week" brings to mind the times of "Dear Abby." I'm looking forward to joining in on the conversations. To that end, here is what I would do.
I suggest asking the gentleman, at their next meeting: what is his intent for THIS relationship/friendship/situationship going forward? I would pose the question in a manner so as to not make him feel defensive, offensive or insulted. Depending on his response, I would then share my decision at THAT meeting. Thanks.
Perfect!
I will give this a try.
I love how you remind us that we are all different and what works for one person won't necessarily work for another. I have a few thoughts, but these are my opinions, and opinions are like belly buttons - we all have one and if you prefer yours, you certainly don't need mine. No offence taken.:
1. Enjoying time together doesn’t need to cost money.
2. If you are interested in pursuing a deeper connection with this person, it starts with communication. It’s already been 7 months. I dunno, but why don’t you just come out and ask him what’s up? I am lousy at wording things (!) so I’m not the one to advise exactly what to say, but maybe others could chime in on the discussion. My point is, I don’t think I’d want to be involved with someone with whom I’m reluctant to bring up difficult topics.
3. Maybe I’d also ask myself if I believe I am worthy of being pursued. Seems like he has a convenient thing going on that’s been working. I don’t mean to hurt your feelings in any way, but wouldn’t you prefer dating someone who can’t wait to see you again?
Thank you for your comment! You are right, going for a walk or a picnic would be a wonderful date!
Love this!!!
I am retired. Most single women over 50 are overweight and looking for a man to fund their retirement.
@@Retired-jr3qs That is true for some!
Wow!
No. Not wow. Some women are like that.
And yet some of us aren’t overweight & we have our own retirement. Those are probably the only ladies that are interested in you🤷🏿♀️
Not worth it ladies.
Maybe not worth it for you. Consider keeping your toxic advice to yourself.
@ still single huh 🤔. Wow, I wonder why.
@@bobfisher-zd2ltthe advice was hardly toxic. Did you even listen to the video? The man doesn’t initiate any dates. Yes he pays but so what. If it wasn’t for her they’d never go out. Men have zero problems asking for what they want. This lady is seemingly wasting her time.
4:03 i hate text. As a single 62 black man, a women should have resources, ask me out.
You want to get tighten up ? Well closed mouth don't get fed. Im not courting at 62.
A sound gentleman in good condition who knows his value has options younger than 60, and quality Black Men are in short supply.
You sound pretty entitled ! I think a guy at 62 should do a little courting but the couple should pay alternatively for dates ?
@@johnballard6725there’s a real reason why he’s single and he will remain that way. Women younger than him do not go for men who don’t pay for dates. I bet he knows this hence why he’s single.
@@aj25055: Amen sister!
Why complain? Just make a decision. Maybe she stated she likes being independent. If he is not initiating, regardless of the reasons, and you don't like it, then stop asking. If he is a good guy then stay with him and keep asking him out as he is still going out on the dates. Now, if he starts making excuses not to go out, then yeah, move on.
He is not interested Move on.
سِالُتتكِ بّالُلُُه 💔الُجْلُيَلُ الُجْبّارَ انَ تْنَقًذَنَا قًبّلُ انَ نَمٌوَتْ مٌنَ شِدِتْ الُجْوَع انَتٌْخيَكِ انَيَ دٌِخلُةِ ْعلُى الُلُُه تْمٌ ْعلُيَكِ انَيَ فَيَ وَجُْهك انَـيَ اخـتْكِ انَـيَ اتْرَجْـاكِ اتْـوَسِـلُ الُـيَـكِ انَـقًـذَنَا لُـوَجُْـه الُـلُُـه. يَــشِــُهدِ الُــلُــُه يَاٌخـيَ انَ مٌنَ الُــصّــبّاحُ حُـتْا الُـانَ يَــحُــرَمٌ ْعـــلُيَـنَـا الاكل غير الماء ( (ا..،.، ..،..،.،.،..،.،..،..،..،..،.،..،..،.،.،..،.،..،.،...،..،..،.،.،..،...،.،.،.،..،.،.،.،..،..،...،.،...،..،...،..،..،.،..،..،
..I am your sister from Yemen, and by Allah I only spoke out of hunger and distress. My mother, my brothers, and I lessons and tears. We are in a situation that only Allah knows about. Allah is sufficient for us, and He is the best disposer of affairs for those who brought us to this situation. By Allah Almighty, I did not write this appeal out of distress and distress. Poverty, O world, they have felt it So, I hope for you. By Allah Almighty, Lord of the Great Throne, he ate what I had in the house. By Allah, my brothers, he is my brothers by sitting in the house. Who has no food? By Allah, we are in a very difficult situation. We have 4 people entering the house, and my father has died, and there is no one who can depend on us and who lives in it.We live in a rented house because we cannot pay the rent we owe. ''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' My brother, my first words are: I swear to Allah that I will not lie to you or deceive you. I am a Yemeni girl displaced from the war. My family and I live in a rented house in Al-Shahrab 20,000 Yemenis among us, and now we owe 60,000 for 3 months. The owner of the house is one of the people who does not have mercy, by God, my brother. He comes every day, insulting us, talking about us, and moving from the house to the street because we were unable to pay him the rent. The neighbors saw us crying and came back.They came back to talk to the neighbors and we were given the weekend. So we made him swear by Allah. He will take us out into the street. Have mercy on him and us. Our country is due to this war and we do not find food for our day, and my brothers and I live in a difficult life. Our father died, may Allah have mercy on him, and we have no one in this world who was with us in these harsh circumstances. My younger brothers went out into the street and saw...The neighbors eat and stand at their door in order to give them bread even if they break it. By Allah, to whom belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth, they closed the door and expelled them and came back crying. They are dying of hunger. No one has mercy on them and a holiday is returned. I have made a living, and now if one of us helps us with a kilo of flour, I swear to Allah, I am dying of hunger. My brother, I am an alien to God. Then, I ask you to help me for the sake of Allah. I ask you, by Allah, to love goodness and to help me, even if you can, by messaging me on WhatsApp.On this number 00967779509554 and ask for the name of my card and send it and do not be late and may Allah reward you with all the best, my brothers Sagar, see how they are and help us and save us before they throw us out in the street, you will be lost or we will die of hunger. My family and I ask you, by Allah, if you are able to help us, do not be late and may Allah reward you wellππ..`/--~«««~-◊◊◊~~¡~¡~;I..i.i.i.i.i.¡..!!i»≪.I.،:;^|||-،،.،.&،،,.π’,;)}’,;)=>[[}>];;....&.&.....!.!...............
Allah will provide. Be well.