The fear of sitting at home alone when you're old is projection on men's part. Men struggle with loneliness more than women do. The happiest demographic is single, childless women. Women are also more savvy at building a community around them, fostering friendships and relationships that can last a lifetime.
Also at some point when your children are adults you’ll be sitting at home alone anyways. And I’m sure those parents are probably just fine with that as long as their kids are functioning well on their own 🤣
The thing about children is the fact that there’s no guarantee that they’ll be there for you when you get old. If someone is trying to make sure they don’t end up lonely when they get old, having children is not the best option. You’re better off learning how to make friends as an adult, or joining/forming groups. Maybe have a romantic partner as well. You’re right. Men are basically projecting their fears of loneliness on to women.
We literally risk our lives to have children. We give up beauty, hobbies, rest, income (mom’s get paid less for the same work), and our mental and physical health in order to have children. Women need to be heavily compensated for doing something with so much risk and negative aspects.
@@Strongdadlifting And that's good for you! *But* say at some point feelings change, and she has nowhere to go? No income. No job experience in years since. That's the very real fear many women deal with in such a situation with men that will abandon them for a newer model or simply because they resent the woman they chose to be with. It's all risk, no reward for a lot of women, and some people just can't seem to understand that.
@@Cloverkitty it’s honestly not statistically. Only 40% of marriages fail. And of the 40% women file for about 75% of them. So, what you speak of isn’t in observable reality nor the data.
@@Cloverkitty yeah, if men just change their feelings, housewives who were off the job market for long time have no where to go. That’s why many housewives let their husbands off about cheating or abusive behaviors.
Honestly,if men contributed in raising kids emotionally and physically like the way women do ,i dont think women would have a problem with having kids, its just that ,when women have kids, they are expected to be the sole care taker of the child,if you really look at it,its unnatural for them to be the only one doing that because of the load of work, it took two to make the child and IT HAS to take two to raise the child,in some european countries ,even fathers are given paternity leave, i believe in some nordic countries, slovania, estonia, finland , japan ,bulgaria ,belgium ,serbia, and more
Back in the 80s, grandma, auntie, and my two uncles would take turn baby sitting us while my mother and father went to work. People today aren't as family oriented as they were back in those days so raising a child is alot hard without the support of the village.
@@deadcell1back then child abu$e (in various forms) was veryyyy prevalent due to parents leaving their children with relatives and family friends. Nowadays people take a different approach to avoid those outcomes. it’s tough to find safe, reliable child care. so parents need to plan effectively with this in mind.
I told my mom ab the term weaponized incompetence a few weeks ago and she was actually so happy there was a word to describe how she feels about our dad. She told me ab how when we were rlly little she would go to work and leave him to care for us and she would come back late and we would still be awake, not fed anything substantial, and just running around crazy while my dad watched his TV. And his excuse would be something along the lines of “well I didn’t know they had to go to bed before 10” etc. like you are a parent just like my mom. What do you mean you don’t know. Honestly they do know but they don’t feel like doing it so they act like they don’t and now you have to do it all.
You said they can't afford her, so isn't it a bit weird she's selling herself in a way? I get the money condition, you'd want your child to be well provided for, and I get she wants to be a stay-at-home mom if that's what she prefers. But everything else tells me she isn't ready for motherhood either. Her other conditions make her sound more like a "glorified birth giver" than an actual mother. Motherhood isn't easy and you WILL need to be prepared to make sacrifices one way or another. I observe it every day looking at women around me. Maybe in America she could catch a rich man who would cater to her every wish, but anywhere else in the world she'd get a fast reality check.
@@andjelabozic2317 it’s ok to value yourself, really Nothing to be ashamed of Thing is, as a woman…if you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of anyone else. So making sure your needs are met, is actually helping others, too. It’s selfless to put yourself first 🧡
@@alkahinat4558Yeah, it'd be good if every woman could put herself first and grow her capacity for giving... But the sad reality is motherhood is an ungrateful job and yet women of all social classes put in hard effort and provide to the best of their capabilities(at least those who care for their children). Which isn't to say father's don't, but the strain pun on the woman to provide for her child is far more demanding. And I don't know much about life in America but I keep seeing videos of women chasing some glorified lifestyles men can provide them. I don't know how many rich or upper class people there are in America, but the truth is not every woman looking for a rich, providing husband will find one. She needs to be reliable herself because her child will heavily depend on her. And this woman comes across as "I want to be paid to push out a child but I also want to benefit from it long-term". And again it's all self-centred. She isn't fit to be a mother, not until she understands her life will center around her child and not herself.
That motherhood penalty is a b**ch. Why would I risk all the stress, time, and money that I put in for my schooling (law), climb that ladder, and get my dream job just for all that hard work to disappear and start that climb all over again just because I have a child. Nah, I'm good. Plus, I didn't even like children when I was a child myself. When I told my parents that I'm choosing to be childfree, they weren't shocked at all, just said "We've always known" and now they're my biggest supporters.
"Why would I risk all the stress, time, and money that I put in for my schooling (law)" That is why I always avoided dating a lawyer or anyone with a law degree (thinks they are a lawyer). Career-oriented females don't bring enough to a family
@@GK-op4ocwell she said she doesn’t want kids. Go find yourself someone who doesn’t want a job so you can be a great provider for your future wife like you’re supposed to do
@@christinec2625 Most female jobs pay less than the replacement cost of their maternal and domestic services. Is an email shuffling office job with commuting really that personally rewarding ?
I think this she’s smart. She prefers to be childfree, therefore her conditions are hers to have. I think most black women should create their own condtional list that suits them. At the end of the day anything can happen she could be a single mother. When blk women become single mothers society puts guilt and blame on her for “not choosing better” . Guess what ladies: Choosing better is choosing yourself.
Speaking as a male, the Gen Z shouldn’t be demanding $350,000 to raise a child. She should be demanding at least $350,000,000 to raise a child. For child care and for her post natal therapy sessions.
That $350,000 is per year though. I think that's a reasonable amount, especially if it pays rent, food, formula, maid, childcare, clothes, toys, therapies (yes, multiple kinds), and emergency fund, it's a good starting place. $350,000,000 is a bit much. That's enough to buy all the above, several rental properties, pay for all the kid's university, and secure a retirement plan.
"She should be demanding at least $350,000,000 to raise a child. For child care and for her post natal therapy sessions" Females believe that the children are their own. But therapy ? Gen Z females are fragile and 1/10 the females that their grandmothers were
If a woman wants children, then good. Consider having kids then. If a woman wants kids but can't, then they deserve empathy, not judgement. And if a woman chooses to be child free, respect that choice, please. Also don't assume that child free women just want to party and live a crazy life full of drinking, drugs and sleeping around. Many are living quiet lives. Some are taking care of siblings or aging parents. Some are living with physical and/or mental disabilities. Some are focusing on bettering themselves and become their best selves. It don't cost a thing to show kindness.
@@Strongdadlifting I think it's both about equal. Especially from those who who live to criticize others. Or men who hate all women and will criticize them regardless of what that woman does. In general women will get criticized. And all we can do is show compassion to each other. I love women who chose to be stay at home mothers and wives. They are the cornerstone of society.
@@ADBH-sd8cz it just can’t statistically be equal. It’s rare to see a millennial stay at home. It will be increasingly rare to see a gen Z… to say equal is disingenuous
@@Strongdadlifting there are plenty of women of all generations who just want peace and to be left alone at home. Especially those of us that don't drink or have sensory issues.
I just want to say that women have always, ALWAYS, worked. The only women who didn't have work outside the home were middle-class and upper-class women. Lower middle class and poor women worked because the men of those classes couldn't support a family alone. And, black women, especially, worked because we weren't allowed not to. That said, I hope she gets her bag.😊
But also women worked in the home and got paid for the stuff they did, like selling homemade b33r, produce and textiles/garments. They define anything women do as "not work" so it doesn't count, but they also appropriate skills and cottage industries that are profitable, which also is correlated with "we're the breadwinners and you don't contribute." Because they take everything and devalue everything they don't take
We've been agrarian for many centuries until recently in the 20th century. The lower class still mostly worked from home on the family farm. The poorest basically rented farmland from a wealthier farmer to work as a family. A few women worked in the homes of the wealthy. Hearth labor was women's work. Even gatherers in tribes did the equivalent. The merchant class began the growth of the middle class during the Renaissance. Families worked together in a business outside the home -- still together. Women worked either for their husband or their father. The rest were exceptions. That changed with the industrial revolution. Women began to work for strangers, and that has only increased into the modern norm. This era is short compared to most of women's history. Hearth labor is our past and still our present (just doubled because of outside labor), and it was unpaid and often unappreciated when it kept the family together for so long.
I'm an eldest daughter. My youngest brother was born when I was 18 so I'm considered the extended support network. I experienced first hand how hard it is to raise a child. It isnt easy AT ALL. I 100% raised my standards for who I might have a child with and if I love a man and don't feel he's cut out for fatherhood I don't mind not having one at all
Well said! You might also come from a culture or faith group where marriage and family are still upheld, and where men are held accountable and punished by the community for being poor fathers and husbands.
"I'm an eldest daughter. My youngest brother was born when I was 18 so I'm considered the extended support network. I experienced first hand how hard it is to raise a child" Gladly, you fulfilled your role as a helpful sibling. There is usually a much smaller age gap between children
Saaame. My baby brother was also born when I was 18, and I'm also the eldest daughter in my family. He's gonna be 11 next month and I have absolutely no desire to have kids of my own. After helping my parents raise all 4 of my younger siblings, I never wanna change another diaper again. 🙃 I desperately need some peace and quiet...
@@sunnychick9328 Childcare is much different when the children are your own. With your experience from care of your siblings, you should highlight these valuable maternal skills when you are dating : Experienced at mothering, 0 children, want 2+ children
50 and SAME. People used to tell me I would regret it when I got older, the older I get the happier I am I never did it. Furthermore, I would rather not have kids and regret that then have kids and regret them that’s not fair to the little humans that didn’t ask to be born to you
42 and with you ... grew up watching what happened to kids whose fathers in particular refused to get it together ... grew up watching how mothers and children suffered ... refused to perpetuate it ... decided to get in the trenches and help out with the kids already here, not add to the number. Looking forward to living a rich auntie life from here on!
She is so smart! So I was born in the 70s, my parents got divorced when I was about five so my mom was left with two little kids to take care of 24 hours a day except for the weekends that my dad had us. My dad decided to pretend he wasn’t employed so he wouldn’t have to pay child support. So we were raised in poverty, so because my mom didn’t have many Social Security credits on the books because she took care of kids her whole life she was living in poverty at the end of her life. After paying for housing and transportation she had $16 left every month. I have no idea how she even lived. My dad at 73 years old was still doing construction projects for other elderly people because his Social Security was crap because he had worked under the table in his prime working years to avoid child support so he didn’t get any Social Security credits either.
Women who SAHM until the child(ren) reach school age also negatively impact their retirement SSI significantly. It isn't just the mother's earnings during her work life that are forever reduced.
Its not just about the economy for women... in making a decision to have kids, finances is the only thing a man has to think about but Women have to think about money, the hit our career will take, the impact on our body, risking our health and our life, our body attractiveness our vag etc. mothers are devalued as used up, and if our man perceives the impact on you as negative, making us unappealing they will harrass, berate, abuse us even leave us which might be a better fate. Then theres our free time our leisure time is gone, we have to sacrifice hobbies, friendships and time alone, even bathroom time. You become a 24 hour servant. Sleep obliterated. Then there is the ungratefulness and lack of reward or appreciation for your sacrifices from both husband and sometimes children. So yeah...its complicated for women and we are no longer hiding the truth or shaming women for not just giving up her life to procreate and mindlessly repeating "children are a blessing." They are...but...more like a tradeoff that disadvatages women.
The way the system is women are set up to be exploited. You can't get social security, unemployment, sick days, retirement, whatever, from being a sahm or primary parent and you have to give up a ton of stuff that would provide those types of things for you I'm child free but the only way I'd ever stay at home or have kids or any of that would be as a w2 employee. So I can have the protections of A WORKER WHO WORKS AT HOME
So weird. You need a talk with my wife . 130+ IQ and 1550 on her SATs… stay at home wife… What you have been sold is a total sham. You really need to look into conversations with women outside of this sphere.
They have bullied women online for the past 5 years , to the point no one wants them . They are desperately looking to get in relationships just to turn around and do the same bs . True me, I started to wear fake engagement rings so they won’t approach me in public. 😂
I'm glad that this is being talked about more & articulated in a way that women can now properly state their concerns without it being deemed as "you're just being dramatic, emotional or unreasonable."
She is smart, because the statistics show that if you have a child and are out of the workforce for even a year that is income lost that affects your investments. Now, if you and your spouse decide that you will stay-at-home mom for several years, that is an even bigger loss on income, investments, skill level, and work experience. Also, divorce does happen and the statistics also show that women in heterosexual relationships are more likely to have financial hardship or even fall below the poverty line after divorce. So, if the woman is going to give up her job to have a child she needs to have income coming in. Now, the amount is up to each person. If she was making 250k a year then that is her choice to want to match that.
rnen are mad about it because they want people like HER to give up $250k a year, they don't want to do it. Isn't that funny? If she loses a million bucks whatever but if he loses it, that's a lot of money. They are so entitled
@@Strongdadliftingare you making 300k/year, and compensating her for her hours? If so, good for your wife. Otherwise, her lifespan is currently dwindling to make up for what you can’t provide.
As the parent of TWO special needs children-when I obviously didn’t expect to have anything but typical developing children, and didn’t even realize my kids had disabilities until my youngest was already several months old, you absolutely need to be prepared financially, because not only are kids expensive, but you never know if you’re going to have a child that is disabled. The average child costs $287,432 to raise. But a disabled child costs between 1-2.5 MILLION to raise, NOT including the care they will require when you’re dead if they are severely disabled and require full care. People going in to having children unprepared financially and emotionally and physically to care for whatever cards they may be dealt is reckless. It’s 100% understandable.
Not to mention-it’s difficult to even MAKE an income when it cost double for specialty medically trained care givers to watch your kids, and when you have countless appointments occurring during business hours.
I agree. I’m married and we don’t have kids. I make $60k as a college graduate in accounting (mid west) $60k is average. Sooo who having a baby at $60k. If I ended up divorced with a baby. How can I take care of them? Child support is not a given
What kind of lifestyle are you living? Bought a house for my wife, 2 kids with one on the way, we can put a little away every month when we budget. Problem with a lot (not saying you) of these women is their unrealistic nature about the material shit they need in life. WITH ALL DUE RESPECT. My wife is so much better than most all women. Not shaking me down for $1000 bags for no reason and bugging me about our next overseas trip. Y’all (not saying you) ain’t shit
I think it’s downright disgusting that workplaces would give men a bonus for having kids meanwhile the woman is punished by either losing her job or a decrease pay. Who is the one that does the hard work of actually carrying a child inside of them for 9 months and go through the horrific experience of childbirth? Women do!!! And society has the nerve to ask women why are they not having kids. I hate society so much sometimes.
I'm childfree partly because of medical issues, but also by choice. I never wanted to care for children or enjoyed spending time with them. AND I was always aware of the fact that having a child would put me in a vurnebale position. Either being depended on a partner or having to deal with being a working single mom always struggling. I love my husband, but he isn't the type who would equally care for the children or do house chores to the same level as I do- and let's be honest...most men are like that. I have huge respect for all the mothers out there! I rather work 12 hour shifts than care for children 24/7 - mybe something is wrong in my brain but I just can't deal with that.
Im glad that younger women are being smarter with their lives. I have 4 and Im 30. My life is no longer about me not for a minute. I work every minute that I am awake and get no breaks. I am not complaining but being honest, because it is CRAZY busy. Some days I am only on my feet and don't get a minute off until bed. Honestly some days I am so exhausted I start to cry because I really need a break. I don't regret my kids I fucking love those kids, a love like no other, I would give my life for them. But at the same time, I can see how bad their father has fucked up in many things. Men can't imagine the pain it is to carry and have a baby. The mental load of having a child is the worst, exhaustion, insomnia, anxiety, postpartum depression, fear, etc. They are crazy stupid thinking that we must have their kids, that it doesn't hurt because our bodies are meant for it, that we can stop postpartum depression if we just shut up and stop crying, that our bodies have to look a certain way after babies. Good for young ladies, to have high standards and be picky, having a child is not easy and it is not a guarantee that you won't end up raising it alone.
Well said. I don't think I could deal with one kid let alone 4. I don't want to be just a mother and do childbirth and breastfeeding etc. I'm glad women have access to better protection and morning after pills and men have better quality condoms. We also can talk about being child free with our partner and don't have to have kids as we don't want them
I dont recommend motherhood to any woman. Luckily, I had my son at 21, which was EXTREMELY difficult as a single mother, but he's 19 now and I can live a more free lifestyle
listen ladies, you must becareful with your decision cause itsnot only affect you but also affect your future children ( if you want to have ) . mine is : i amnot gonna married for Suffer . if i already live in good life as single woman , i amnot gonna married for live in suffer . i will only married if marriages give me better life than my life as single woman right now . if it isnot, i wont settle . i better spend my time improve myself , my life and be kind to peoples around me .
On top of all of that I would add that children/babys deserve to be born into a safe environment, both financially and emotionally! As a neglected unwanted abused former child I can speak from experience. I still struggle from the aftermath of my messed up childhood as a 36 year old woman. So - if you can't afford kids, if you're gonna be an absent father or an abusive mother, do NOT have children.
I call bs that’s it’s “easiest” because the mom carried. Ive seen wlw couples where the woman not carrying immediately stepped up. Why have a man of other women do it better?
I feel so grateful to have been protected from motherhood in this lifetime. Even when my ex raped me. I love my job so much. I help a lot of people, and i love being in my own company ❤ i dont need kids or a man to be happy and grateful 🙏 😊
This would really make me consider having a child if I had to do as she desires and prefers, that is very very very smart of her to do. Because women always have these thoughts of OK if I have a child, this is going to happen this is going to happen, and if they leave, I am responsible. Now she is forcing men to have those samethoughts and question if they are truly ready
The Vikings used to respect women who died while bringing a child onto this planet at the same level of soldiers who died in the war, if not more.. Today, if a man joins military, he gets paid and gets insurance for his entire family.. despite wars and attacks being seldom.. Today women don't even get respected for risking their lives and bringing a child into this world..Despite.. Child birth being essential to continue the species.. It's as if they only value the masculine efforts of the people. And I'm a tomboy myself.... As if we owe them our pain and suffering.. and we also do household chores while also earning money... Ladies..Tax the government for our labour... Or something lol
Life, under capitalism, is not priceless. You are expendable, and if you can not get a job, then it is assumed to be your fault if you starve. So, by not having children, we reduce the supply of future workers and increase their value in society. Supply and demand.
It's sad to me that raising children is even being approached as a burden, but it's the reality many women face due to lack of support. With the proper support systems in place, mostly by the husband, but also by society, having a child wouldn't even be thought of as a burden. I'm nearly convinced we should go back to having rites of passage into manhood. So if a man can't prove himself worthy of the title of being a man, he wouldn't have access to women, marriage, sex or progeny. Period. Our wombs are not here to provide community service to men who do not deserve the privilege of a legacy.
I'm FtM, and if I lived in a place were community got together daily to take care of kids, and I could take my baby/child to work if need-be, I'd consider having my own biological child.
What happened to Williams reminded me of something that has happened in my home country, France in 2017. A young black woman called an emergency number for severe stomach pain, she said to the woman on the phone "it's hurting me, I'm gonna die". She replied "well...we'll all gonna die Ma'am..." She had to call many other emergency services. But it was too late. She indeed died. The case is going to court only now! Women's complains in general are taken less seriously than men's. but it's even worse for Black women.
They say tarditional women didn´t work but that was actually only the upper class. Everyone else had working wives and children. It is a common misconception that women only started working during the industrial era, but that is false. Women have always been working. Men couldn´t provide for their families alone. There is a reason why children and women worked throughout history. Men died in their thirties, on jobsites and in wars. Women had to provide for their families and even had to send their children to work. There are only specific societies and their time period, where women weren´t allowed to work. They are known and used as evidence that women didn´t work. But the majority of history was women working just like men. Making clothes, pottery, farming, construction work and more. Just because ancient greece and the stories of the upper class in the 1800s are popular, doesn´t mean that it is a reflection of womankind working throughout history. Just look at male archeologist now shown to be wrong because they assumed certain tombs and burial sites belonged to men.
Many of us who aren't going child free are going are doing one and done, simply because we might be able to make time and money sacrifices enough for one within a stable marriage/situation in this economy, but not more. It costs to raise one kid now what it did my parents to raise 2-3. I have a one month old son, and the hospital billed my insurance almost 75,000 USD so far for the birth. (No c section, though I was induced.) I still expect to pay $5000-$10,000 of that myself, even with my husband's decent insurance. When I imagine healthcare costs piling up, and the realization that if we wanted more kids we'd need to buy a decent sized house (we haven't even bought a house yet because we can't afford most of the homes where we are now, but we are looking at small 2-3 bedroom homes in a cheaper state for the future. We are renting a 2 bedroom apartment right now)... By the way, I'm 35 with a Master's, lived in Japan for 6 years and speak Japanese fluently. I make $15/hr teaching ESL onsite at a university. That's what they pay ESL profs in my area. If not for my husband making upper five digits as a software engineer, we'd be screwed. We live in a HCOL state so we aren't making savings like we should, but we aren't starving...yet. And my husband does switch sleep shifts on and off to watch the baby, he does participate a lot and is a great dad. I ended up with someone where, if the economy didn't suck, I would happily have 2-3 kids since my husband behaves as a parent and my teammate, so I am lucky there. So I understand the decision to be child free. A lot of this gen and next gen will be 0-1 in the kids department.
Yes. The way it’s not making financial sense to have children, is insane. I might be a one and done. Always thought I’d have at least 2-3 kids, but they need to have an excellent quality of life and the way things are going, it would be so expensive to have even one, let alone a couple. And I live in a country where there is a free healthcare system and it’s still expensive af to have kids, especially childcare costs 🫣
I am a mother of 2, i have not been painfree since i gave birth to my first baby, because of how his birth went. He is 3 ½ now and slowly but sure i start getting better again, but the lack of help and support that mothers have nowadays is a big issue. In my case i was just not aware of how much being an expat and then rhe pandemic changed all plans to an extend that his family is too far to help as well while he is working full time. It is hard to be a mother now and it feels like the respect for mothers is getting less again
Taking care of kids is a big job. Why do it? The same reason people join the military during war to defend their country. There are bigger things than your own comfort. If Millennials, Gen Z, and Gen Alpha don't have children then the country doesn't have a future. Unfortunately, it is so expensive. That is something that everyone should be concerned about and be working to fix.
Did you ever think that maybe the driving reason why you now need 2 people to pay the bills for one family when you used to be able to do it on one income....MIGHT just be because all the women entered the workforce? It's simple supply and demand. If you double the number of workers flooding into the job market you are going to create an oversupply which will push the price (i.e. the wages) down. A common sense test can tell you that this is true. Just ask yourself one question... If all the women of childbearing age all quit the job market today...what would happen? Well...the wages of those remaining in the workforce would go up. They would have to. A whole bunch of gaps would have opened up in every company on the planet and if employers want to keep their companies running they would need to fill those seats. How do you do that? Offer more money of course. So if women all left the job market that would mean wages would ratchet up. But that ALSO means...that the slow and steady intrusion of women into the workforce has been slowly but surely pushing wages DOWN. The law of supply and demand is as immutable as the law of gravity. It just is the way things work. Also..these statistics are kind of silly without thoughtful examination. Men get a RAISE per child that they have? Really? Are you really going to believe that when our wives have children that our bosses call us into a secret meeting and are like, "Listen Brother...we're gonna give you a raise. Because we know you have that kid now. But don't tell the ladies. We don't want them to know." Common. Again. Run it through a filter of common sense... Is it possible that men who have multiple children might....just MIGHT....feel driven and WHIPPED by the taskmaster's lash to work harder and longer and do whatever it takes to make more money because they have that nagging feeling at the back of their mind that those extra kids are at home depending on him? Hmmm.... I mean...seriously. Which is more likely? Men are given raises just for having kids...or men who have kids work harder so they can make more money to pay for them? Or how about this? Maybe...the kind of men who are going to EARN MORE REGARDLESS....also happen to be the kinds of people who are going to have more kids? Men are not stupid. They see the writing on the wall. Some men can tell that things are either not going to work out well for them or things are not going to work out well....very fast. So they get "the snip". This would create a situation where men who do NOT think the deck is stacked against them have more kids because they anticipate being able to make more money anyway...so they have more kids....while those who DO feel the deck is stacked against them and they WON'T be able to make as much money have fewer kids. That situation would result in the exact statistics you quoted. It would look like men who have kids are getting a raise. But that wouldn't be what was happening at all. This is why statistics are bunk. I mean I could run a study right now that that would "prove" that farming with a horse drawn plow increases fertility rates. Yup. I guarantee it 100% that it would show that. Farmers who farm with a plow in America have more kids than farmers who use tractors. I guess plows are a fertility drug. But is that what's really going on? Or is it that the farmers who tend to use plows also tend to be Amish and Amish people tend to have 7.5 children per family? You can "lie with statistics" very easily to make whatever point you want. But if those points are not actually true...they just SEEM true because you leaned on deceptively woven statistics...then you will get the results of aligning yourself with lies and errors that you think are true.
I do not think if someone does not want to have children, that is fine. But, if young people are sitting around to have children due to economy and to be financially stable. You will be too old to have children as my parents told me. Which is true. I believe people should be married before having children. I have seen my family make choices to have children as single a parent. It is not a good choice for you or children. Because of the financially end and child needs the love of both parents. I have seen both side of children with a single and ones with both parents. Big difference. But, the rewards in the end of having children is great. Young people, I hope you enjoy being a mother or fathers.
the "traditional" family people want only really started with the 1950s housewife before that men and women both worked especially the working class and only during the Industrial Revolution did children stop working Tyler bender here on UA-cam has a really good video about how tradwives kinda yearn for a time that didn't really exist
Maternity leave is 18 months in my country. I’m pregnant currently (planned with my husband), but curious to learn about why so many women are becoming turned off by the idea of having kids.
@3l3phantz I think the standard for maternity leave in the US is 12 weeks which is 3 months. That's what my job offers and only 6 weeks paid the other 6 weeks unpaid
@@Tresdrole123 I totally agree! It's ridiculous they expect us back and working so quick. That's why me and my fiance are saving up to have a baby and hopefully after the baby ill be able to go part time. I wish you the best and a healthy pregnancy ❤️
I hate T. but also that sentiment. I care about her thoghts, her job, her feelings. I hope she has other people in hear live then T. who apprechiate those and wouldn't talk down on them. I hope she's proud and happy of at least a few of those things. I mean yes, realtionships are more important then career. BUT saying they don't matter? Her lives work and effort dosn't MATTER? that's hideous
The catch 22 situation the modern woman is struggling to make a way through: grandmas were not equipped with a higher education, they were not independent, but they had a life long marriage, with many children and grandchildren. Modern woman is liberated, educated and independent, but is facing an existential crisis: No marriage, no children, frozen eggs, maybe can get children, but marriage might be out of reach.
The money aspect of parenting isn’t the hard part. You’re bringing a human into the world blending families. A human that needs an emotionally available parents that can help them navigate through life. Getting money is easy part. If the dad is not involved,you’ll create angry young men and women that seek male attention. I have 5 children. The money part wasn’t that hard, but the mental aspect is a mind fuck. I’m a woman and I know nothing about how to talk to women. I know food or bath and body works helps when my girls are mad at me.
Part of the reason why we have so many of the problems that we have now as a country is because women are not having enough children. Children are necessary to replace the people dying and to grow our economy. You need 2 kids per couple to sustain an economy and 3 or more to grow it. A huge reason why so many first world economies globally are in the shitter is because we don’t have new people, young people coming in to innovate and to take on the workload. We have an ever increasing elderly population that’s becoming a burden on society, but no new people. Not to mention a lot of the young people that we do have now are lazy or entitled. As a result, we need to import people from other countries to keep society going. This is why you see so many governments and politicians welcoming people outside of their own country because without people society fails. Without young, able bodied, willing participants society stops. All this shit we know stops. We talk all the time about money and its importance, but the truth is the real currency of any society is people.
There is a lot of intellectual dishonesty and lies in this video. I was expecting a comprehensive analysis on "why should women have children in this economy" but got solemnly disappointed. 1. Women were not allowed to study? 2. Women weren't allowed to work 3. Women's earning decreases after child birth Have you reasearched and studied the subject? Stating numbers and dates does not provide answers to multifaceted questions. This video lacks WHY,HOW, WHO, WHAT and WHEN...
It's easy to say that you don't want to have a baby because of money, but life can be very unpredictable. So things might not be perfect enough for you to feel ever comfortable enough to have kids, and then when you get old if you're blessed to age... You'll feel empty because you'll be a old ass lady and you won't have no kids or grandkids or a lineage or legacy to leave anything to... Then you can be rich and just donate all your money to a cause but sometimes when you donate money it doesn't go exactly the way you want it to go because man is inherently corrupt
Honestly no. Anti natalism pushed by the elites is very different to the conversation being had here. Either your too impatient to listen to these women's concerns or your one of the men described in this video.
This is really annoying. People are wasting so much time fearing cost of having children. At the end of the day, you can do it, you can afford it if you want to. If it means you won't live a glamorous instagram lifestyle of traveling, so be it, it still can work. Please stop this nonsense. If you don't wanna have kids because you don't like em, that's fine. But the idea that you won't because of cost is so wrong.
No, it's not wrong. Kid's shouldn't be born into a family that can't afford them. There's too many kids living in poverty because of this. Wanting to wait until you can afford a child before having one is SMART. Kids cost a lot of money even just for basic needs. But kids should be able to experience more than just basic needs and not constantly have to worry about money.
Affording something while suffering and being extremely comfortable are different realities. Without money all the labour around kids is left with the parents and your child has few options. Some people don’t care but for many people if money was no issue having children would be a more desirable goal. Raising kids when you have money for a cleaner, cook, fantastic school, kids activities and you can still have a life is a different reality. You do you.
having kids when you can’t afford them is selfish. not everyone deserves to have a kid or will make a good parent. you’re probably annoyed because you want to have kids for your own selfish reasons like spreading your dna and not “dying alone.”
My mum had me and my brother in her mid to late 30's, she was the breadwinner and dad did a lot of the parenting (not sure when we were baby babies). It's so weird seeing all these other situations when my household was wildly different. But me, I am choosing and will always choose to be childfree. My brother, on the other hand, wants children, so I can only hope that he's a good dad and doesn't use weaponized incompetence and is just an all-round decent partner🤞
My mom only had one child. My dad wanted more kids and one day she asked my dad to pay for health insurance and he refused. So she decided not to have anymore kids.
"My dad wanted more kids and one day she asked my dad to pay for health insurance and he refused. So she decided not to have anymore kids" He should have walked out because his investment in her was too high
Ah yes, if your partner is a massive jerk, it is YOUR fault for not choosing better, but if you choose carefully, you are a b*tch who "needs lower to realistic standards". Like... Decide yourself 😂
"Your standards are too high you have to settle" "Oh he left oh he is a deadbeat dad? Choose better" yeah we don't care what men think anymore because they've proven time and time again that they are contradictory and clownish
To be honest, I think that's a fair trade. If a man want's a woman to trade her self-sufficience and independence for motherhood...he needs to make it worth it. Pay off her student loans as a condition of marriage. Or at the very least, pay her what she would be paid from an employer had she not made that sacrifice.
@@Strongdadlifting why don’t you look it up? Business Insider valued the work a wife/mother does, at £200,000 per year and that was a while back, it’s probably higher now with inflation. Or, you could use your common sense to realise that if you paid for a nanny, housekeeper, chef, personal shopper, nurse, driver and personal assistant to help run your household…it would cost a lot. Mothers do it for free. What are you pretending not to get, so that you can argue on the internet over facts?
Women who don't take men to court for child support blow my mind. Make him pay! He can't pay and you feel bad? Send him to jail where he doesn't have to support himself.
I don't know one woman who's actually happy to have children. Sure, she loves them and all that but all they do is complain how the husband doesn't help and how tedious and annoying kids are and this and that. That doesn't sound like something I want to commit to 18 years of my life for.
My ex was like that, he always got impatient when the baby would cry and left the poo diapers only on me to change . I've seen other men who are patient , supportive.
Black community or white community? Some communities have childbirth down pat. Depends on who you're around. My mormom amd christian families? No problem. Asain families? No problem. White and black families....depends.
I have literally seen dad’s sit eating by himself while the mom is attending to the kids . I do feel bad for both women in these videos, but more so for the woman about to pop and the man child complained that the baby pooped in the diaper, and she was on her feet cooking the family dinner. I’m only having fur babies, and my mom is going to have to accept that the two cats I want will be surrogate grand(fur)kids. The only alternative is that he HAS to be Uber wealthy in order to have children. I know that sounds like a gold digger mindset but it would be the best life for the kids, and for me in order to afford a personal trainer to bounce back physically from pregnancy, doctors for nutrition, and nannies in order to go out and work somewhere.
@@Strongdadliftingagreed. All children deserve parents, not all parents deserve children. Childcare is NOT for the faint of heart. I'm so glad you agree that not everyone should have children!
As a wife and mother of 3 in a two income family just touching 100k I say dont do it ladies! I dont have the time or money to recoup mentally. Adopt or stay a rich auntie or do a Big sister program volunteer at a homeless shelter or DV shelter anything but become an mother follow Jesus. Then go home to your clean home take a bubble bath and recoup. Ive had a press on/gel nail kit sitting in my closet going on 3 years now that I wish I could use😅 but between kids husband my employer the chores cooking my on off depression I dont have time to take care of myself I braid all the heads in the house hold except for mine. Cant even manage to braid my hair down for a headband wig. Ive tried waking at 5:00am every day and recently discovered that if I clock out at 5:00pm WFH and cook and clean until 12:am everyday thats the only way to keep my house inorder. Maybe yall can get away with 1 kid but then you start thinking what if they get lonely. Just be a rich auntie you can choose to give to the community in your spare time.
Girl no offense but you gotta put your foot down. I understand you’re trying to keep the peace but you are running yourself into the ground. If you die overworking yourself guess what the man finds a replacement who will live off of what you worked your ass off for. It’s not fair to you or the children given that you stated you work and bring an income home too. Your kids deserve to grow up with a healthy momma in body and mind. I also suggest a therapist to help you work through the mental load.
06:16 Imagine Andrew Tate being your proud "legacy" among a bunch of other grand-bumpkins as a woman. 🤦♀️ I am sooo envious of Tate's granny. Thank you Tate's Granny for gifting the world such excellence. You've made the world a better place.🏆 Lol. It's funny that A. T. considers his own existence such a gift to humanity, and the greatest feat his granny could ever achieve.
I don't know if anyone "decided" that women could have an education. They had to fight for it o_o And fuck, doctors didn't take me seriously when I had a pulmonary embolism (consequence of pill), and I pass as white. Here in France we have had multiple scandals of our equivalent of 911 making fun or dismissing black or brown women who were literally dying, and were dead hours later because some doctors didn't take them seriously. It's horrible.
Wow, some doctors. I would mock their "professionalism" after that. If a doctor dismisses a case and the person ends up dying a preventable death, that should damage their reputation. How do these doctors know the person is not suffering when they are not the person in question?
@@evilds3261 Doctors call it "the Mediterranean syndrome" : racialized women according to this, due to cultural specificities, exaggerate pain and are more dramatic about what they feel. It's blatant racism, but it's still normalized between doctors to dismiss women voicing their pain and concerns with that.
No as a teacher PLEASE DONT!!!! You are not spending enough time with your kids, you are working like crazy to keep up. These kids cant read on level, do basic math on level. It’s harder than you think it is!!! Now you setting them up for the same struggle😢😮
Hence why I haven't had them, yet. I'm waiting for a money bags partner, so I can spend time with my future children to teach them how to read and solve math. If they're anything like me, they'll be figuring out how to read on their own at 3, however, I have written a pledge to them that I will do my absolute best to educate and care for them.
I'm 23 and in my final year of varsity, babies are nice and all but I'm not willing to sacrifice my body to carry on the lineage of a man who hasn't devoted himself to me. Scared shitless of being prego anyway so I want a big diamond ring, the picket fence, the push present and the house help. I can't be working hard labour for the sake of womanhood. That'll age me in dog years. So glad my current boyfriend understands that. Such a responsible chap. May the good Lord bless his heart and his pockets
I loved everything about this comment. You need to put “not willing to sacrifice my body to carry on the lineage of a man who hasnt devoted himself to me” on a tshirt and SELL IT
Update : Ole boyfrand said he'd kill me if I cheat. Unprovoked. Dumped him and changed my number today. Think he was the one cheating. No rest for the wicked Let's focus on blending our makeup properly ladies and forget about men
Consider the hypothetical where the baby is disabled.... that costs a LOT more and if they are profoundly disabled, you will be caring for that child until you die and must prepare for their care after your death.
I honestly wouldn’t mind having children if I knew for certain the man in my life would give 100% into raising this child alongside me. But the chances of me either becoming a single mother or a married single mother is just too damn high !!!!! I’m not taking that chance. Children are forever. They’re people, they’re humans, they’re not a pet you can just re-home or take to a shelter when things get too overwhelming or if your financial situation changes. They’re a lifelong commitment that I refuse to take on by myself. Majority of women end up raising their children completely alone either through divorce or simply through having an incompetent man at home. Funny that’s it’s the one who never stick around for the actual child rearing that talk the most 💩 about women not having children. Whether we have kids or not literally changes nothing in a man’s life because it’s not like they’re helping anyways, so what’s their problem ?
I’m sure it’s a deflection tactic It’s way easier to scrutinise others, when looking at yourself and addressing your own flaws, is what actually makes you a better/healed person Then they’d be better partners, but the motivation just isn’t there for improvement. To add, I’d probably be more gung ho about having kids, if I wasn’t the gender who had to do most of the work when it comes to actually having a child
@@alkahinat4558 wtf? What nanny is getting 220k a year salary? What are you going on about? Who is giving up 220k a year??? Virtually no one. You know you are wrong and I’m the essence of chaos you don’t answer.
Yeah. Plus, the harsh truth is that these days if we bring a ‘defective child’ into the world, we can not just abandon them like past. A healthy child consumes lots of money and time. An unhealthy child will make the rest of our lives as caregivers. Even if this probability is low, I don’t wanna take it. In Korea, some parents kill their disabled children and kill themselves too. I don’t wanna be like them. And I don’t wanna create a miserable life for a poor soul.
I think another thing to consider is how it is how difficult it will be to have a safe birth due to Roe Vs. Wade. Some people might think it wouldn't affect people wanting to have a child, but i believe that it does when there are some women who would face imprisonment or possibly death because they want and need a safe in order to survive. Other than that, I mostly agree with everything in this video.
Exactly. The risk of imprisonment for a miscarriage? The risk of death by some defect? Heck, if we get an ectopic pregnancy will they even do anything? The risks are massive. Medieval. Actually, not medieval, because they prioritized the life of the mother in medieval times. There is way too much danger involved, and I even want a kid 😭
@RP-uu7oq Right. Even tho I've never been married before or had kids at 22 but it still scares me to even consider pregnancy to be on my mind. If anything, I'd rather adopt a child. But I understand there are things to consider with that option as well.
Yeah with Roe verses Wade banned woman will have to consider more if having a child will be worth the risk and especially if their doctor said it would put their life in danger to give birth. I wish the United States would look at other countries maternity programs and consider adopting them like a few months of maternity leave for both mother and father plus some pay a supplement income to parents who have kids. Also the list that you showed as a requirement for one woman to have a baby? Well other woman in other countries already implement a system like that for themselves. Thank you for the video.
As a older woman l can tell you we had these thoughts and worries. But l myself and many like me, were child brides and gave birth while still just a teen. A indentured slave to a older man. A burden that cost money so you better earn your keep. Im so very proud of your generation. ❤
The thing that gets missed so much by Everyone when they want a traditional woman or man. Is for the majority of history the Majority of All Women worked. Women have always worked. Unless you were rich or high upper middle class you worked. Either with your husband behind him in his shop store ect. Or for someone else. There's really only a small snippet of history were the majority of women stayed home and did the house work and raised kids. This happened after the world wars. The world and economy has fallen both people need to work again, in the majority of the world The big difference is Women are going. Yeah we aren't going back to per war times. Where I work the same hours you do, than do all the household duties and child rearing. Men, if you Don't want to do a fairer slipt of duties than we anit having a relationship or kids with you. Surprise. Lol to the Many say its all Feminism fault. Sure is. Women want to be treated like a fellow Human Being and Not Unfairly exploited for our bodies and time. Men want to go back to a traditional women because we cut your labor down. Having a woman decreased a mans work load and has alway increased a womans. An we are done. Im not having kids with a man unless he brings something beneficial to my life (in the same way i do to his, fairness)
We are not your ATM.....u guys offer nothing...men started not dating movement like mgtow very long ....we can fill sex urge with one night stand or hiring hookers.....in future ai going to change relationship and we do not serve women and worship
I have never met a woman with multiple children who doesn't have accelerated ageing, if you want to choose that that's fine but you will never be the same as you were before children and men that take care of single mothers are rare and special
I'm so glad that in Maryland, there's been an increase in financial assistance such as increasing the eligibility for child care vouchers, Medicaid eligibility increase for children and pregnant women , more medical providers that accept Medicaid,programs such as WIC and SNAP. It's helping a lot of families . It helped me as a full time working single mom . I'm not sure if these programs are as wide spread in other states, Especially the child care vouchers .
That's really good but that doesn't seem to help the middle class at all. Rich people can afford it. People in poverty have government help. Middle class is on their own and thats most Americans. I think that's why we're seeing this issues in mainstream.
I don't understand why poor people just don't stay together. Two incomes are better than one and when you are poor you need every last cent you can get.
The problem with this is that it is incentivizing the wrong people to have children. If you need vouchers to subsidize care, food and medical care you probably shouldn’t have children. In my case, my husband and I make too much and our monthly childcare bill is $2k. No way we’d be able to afford a second. Seems like children are either for the low income or high income folks, if your middle class forget about it.
When you are 52 and you are alone in your house.......pop open a bottle of champagne and invite your friends rounds for a chat about a ladies holiday in summer ✌
What sucks the most is being a parent is not a responsibility that ends when the kid turns 18. For the rest of your life you have this one person who is your kid that you cant leave. You'd worry about their safety just as much as you would if they were a toddler. Be a chef and maid when they come back home to see you, lend them money, hear about and help with their relationships, hope they dont go out in the world being a horrible human being to others. You never clock out from this job or are able to put in a 2 weeks notice and you are unpaid for the labor. Being a mother sounds like signing up for eternal anxiety, unconditional understanding, and slavery.
If you raise them right you don’t have to worry. However, when people aren’t ready they’re more likely to give emotional baggage that could keep them from flying.
I wonder if Andrew Tate ever asked his grandmother how she arrived at having 9 children. Was it a joint decision in which her input held actual weight and not one where her partner’s and society’s input out weighed her own? Did he ever ask what goals she held before becoming a parent to 9 children and what limitations she would have faced if she pursued them, especially as a mother? Has he ever asked if she ever felt trapped in the life she was in? Was it enough to only recount the times the men in his life expressed how great becoming a husband and father has been for them? Not to say that her response couldn’t have been that having 9 children was all she’s ever wanted and the happiest she’s ever been, but if someone is going to prescribe a major life decision to half of the population, the least you could do is get feedback from an actual woman who has been through it.
Men don't want to marry, so why should women want to have kids? Personally I have no sentiment whatsoever towards kids, I also don't understand why most women love kids. I just want an easy and soft life style. Life is hard enough as it is.
Yeah see…that mom with all the kids on her lap at the restaurant would be an incredible asset as an employee. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find people who go that extra mile to get it done? Her husband sure doesn’t.
@@Strongdadlifting I was complementing the women’s ability to multitask. I don’t judge those situations out of context. For all we know all kids prefer to be with mom. Kids wanting to be with mom is also a compliment. People who are good at multitasking tend to be over achievers in corporate settings too. Where did you make the jump to treating wives like employees? Not everyone suffers from brain rot in the comments.
She's asking for way too little. You permanently alter your body, compromise your health, have to go through a massive amount of pain just to deliver the baby and then are expected to be the primary caretaker of the baby for the rest of their life. If taking care of kids were the better deal, men would've done it ages ago. Instead you have men raging on having to be the primary parent in the rare case they have full time custody, often implemented by their own pettiness. Unless you really want a child yourself and are willing to be the primary caretaker, don't have kids.
LOL! I don't even want grandchildren and never did! 😂😂😂 It's funny, I always wanted to be Mom and Auntie but never Grandma. I was always indifferent to my own children having children because they get to decide what they want for their own lives. Neither wants children of their own and I'm honestly relieved. It's become more dangerous for women to be pregnant these days. We have extended fertility in my family, BOTH sides, so, I'm 53 and still have a couple of years before I'm even close to menopause. Only a couple of my friends have grandchildren and I'm not jealous at all, it's more like, "Better you than me, now you'll get old even faster"🤷🏻♀️😂 (We also age slowly in my family). As much as I wanted my own kids, I've always understood child free ppl. Life isn't "One size fits all". Humans are INDIVIDUALS, with different dreams and needs from life.
The fear of sitting at home alone when you're old is projection on men's part. Men struggle with loneliness more than women do. The happiest demographic is single, childless women. Women are also more savvy at building a community around them, fostering friendships and relationships that can last a lifetime.
Also at some point when your children are adults you’ll be sitting at home alone anyways. And I’m sure those parents are probably just fine with that as long as their kids are functioning well on their own 🤣
The thing about children is the fact that there’s no guarantee that they’ll be there for you when you get old. If someone is trying to make sure they don’t end up lonely when they get old, having children is not the best option. You’re better off learning how to make friends as an adult, or joining/forming groups. Maybe have a romantic partner as well. You’re right. Men are basically projecting their fears of loneliness on to women.
Because kids are not a guarantee. You can still be lonely.
Exactly!
If you are in good health and able to get out , loneliness is a chouce. Get a job or volunteer somewhere
Living and dead literally two ppl types I don’t know nor care bout mating on dying planet
We literally risk our lives to have children.
We give up beauty, hobbies, rest, income (mom’s get paid less for the same work), and our mental and physical health in order to have children.
Women need to be heavily compensated for doing something with so much risk and negative aspects.
Or they can opt out of it. Parenthood requites a lot of a
Sacrifice. Simply dont have kids
My wife stays at home. Told her to give all that shit up and never bring it up again.
@@Strongdadlifting And that's good for you! *But* say at some point feelings change, and she has nowhere to go? No income. No job experience in years since. That's the very real fear many women deal with in such a situation with men that will abandon them for a newer model or simply because they resent the woman they chose to be with.
It's all risk, no reward for a lot of women, and some people just can't seem to understand that.
@@Cloverkitty it’s honestly not statistically. Only 40% of marriages fail. And of the 40% women file for about 75% of them.
So, what you speak of isn’t in observable reality nor the data.
@@Cloverkitty yeah, if men just change their feelings, housewives who were off the job market for long time have no where to go. That’s why many housewives let their husbands off about cheating or abusive behaviors.
Honestly,if men contributed in raising kids emotionally and physically like the way women do ,i dont think women would have a problem with having kids, its just that ,when women have kids, they are expected to be the sole care taker of the child,if you really look at it,its unnatural for them to be the only one doing that because of the load of work, it took two to make the child and IT HAS to take two to raise the child,in some european countries ,even fathers are given paternity leave, i believe in some nordic countries, slovania, estonia, finland , japan ,bulgaria ,belgium ,serbia, and more
It takes a whole village to raise a child, but the child's father should be the first member of that village
@@sarahrobertson634should be yh a lot of things should be, life init🤷♀️
@@cosmiccrush22 If we women don't get the conditions we want for child rearing, we will refuse to have children.
Back in the 80s, grandma, auntie, and my two uncles would take turn baby sitting us while my mother and father went to work. People today aren't as family oriented as they were back in those days so raising a child is alot hard without the support of the village.
@@deadcell1back then child abu$e (in various forms) was veryyyy prevalent due to parents leaving their children with relatives and family friends. Nowadays people take a different approach to avoid those outcomes. it’s tough to find safe, reliable child care. so parents need to plan effectively with this in mind.
I told my mom ab the term weaponized incompetence a few weeks ago and she was actually so happy there was a word to describe how she feels about our dad. She told me ab how when we were rlly little she would go to work and leave him to care for us and she would come back late and we would still be awake, not fed anything substantial, and just running around crazy while my dad watched his TV. And his excuse would be something along the lines of “well I didn’t know they had to go to bed before 10” etc. like you are a parent just like my mom. What do you mean you don’t know. Honestly they do know but they don’t feel like doing it so they act like they don’t and now you have to do it all.
If you can’t afford her then move on. No need to argue with her decision
My gosh right!!!! People are soooooo dense!!
You said they can't afford her, so isn't it a bit weird she's selling herself in a way? I get the money condition, you'd want your child to be well provided for, and I get she wants to be a stay-at-home mom if that's what she prefers. But everything else tells me she isn't ready for motherhood either. Her other conditions make her sound more like a "glorified birth giver" than an actual mother. Motherhood isn't easy and you WILL need to be prepared to make sacrifices one way or another. I observe it every day looking at women around me. Maybe in America she could catch a rich man who would cater to her every wish, but anywhere else in the world she'd get a fast reality check.
@@andjelabozic2317 it’s ok to value yourself, really
Nothing to be ashamed of
Thing is, as a woman…if you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of anyone else. So making sure your needs are met, is actually helping others, too. It’s selfless to put yourself first 🧡
@@alkahinat4558Yeah, it'd be good if every woman could put herself first and grow her capacity for giving... But the sad reality is motherhood is an ungrateful job and yet women of all social classes put in hard effort and provide to the best of their capabilities(at least those who care for their children). Which isn't to say father's don't, but the strain pun on the woman to provide for her child is far more demanding. And I don't know much about life in America but I keep seeing videos of women chasing some glorified lifestyles men can provide them. I don't know how many rich or upper class people there are in America, but the truth is not every woman looking for a rich, providing husband will find one. She needs to be reliable herself because her child will heavily depend on her. And this woman comes across as "I want to be paid to push out a child but I also want to benefit from it long-term". And again it's all self-centred. She isn't fit to be a mother, not until she understands her life will center around her child and not herself.
Bingo 😂it's really so simple
That motherhood penalty is a b**ch. Why would I risk all the stress, time, and money that I put in for my schooling (law), climb that ladder, and get my dream job just for all that hard work to disappear and start that climb all over again just because I have a child.
Nah, I'm good. Plus, I didn't even like children when I was a child myself. When I told my parents that I'm choosing to be childfree, they weren't shocked at all, just said "We've always known" and now they're my biggest supporters.
"Why would I risk all the stress, time, and money that I put in for my schooling (law)"
That is why I always avoided dating a lawyer or anyone with a law degree (thinks they are a lawyer). Career-oriented females don't bring enough to a family
@@GK-op4ocNeither do men
@@GK-op4ocwell she said she doesn’t want kids. Go find yourself someone who doesn’t want a job so you can be a great provider for your future wife like you’re supposed to do
@@christinec2625 Most female jobs pay less than the replacement cost of their maternal and domestic services. Is an email shuffling office job with commuting really that personally rewarding ?
Because that’s the purpose of life….
I think this she’s smart. She prefers to be childfree, therefore her conditions are hers to have. I think most black women should create their own condtional list that suits them. At the end of the day anything can happen she could be a single mother. When blk women become single mothers society puts guilt and blame on her for “not choosing better” . Guess what ladies: Choosing better is choosing yourself.
Yessssssss!!!!! Choosing better is choosing yourself!!!! We control sex and reproduction. We set the terms.
A bride price should definitely be brought back.
@@LisaSoulLevelHealingTrue...Like them Indian villages 😂
@@gazagxrlx2974 No, bride price is the opposite of a dowry
So true 💯💯💯
Speaking as a male, the Gen Z shouldn’t be demanding $350,000 to raise a child. She should be demanding at least $350,000,000 to raise a child. For child care and for her post natal therapy sessions.
That $350,000 is per year though. I think that's a reasonable amount, especially if it pays rent, food, formula, maid, childcare, clothes, toys, therapies (yes, multiple kinds), and emergency fund, it's a good starting place. $350,000,000 is a bit much. That's enough to buy all the above, several rental properties, pay for all the kid's university, and secure a retirement plan.
@@audreydoyle5268 Sounds like $350,000,000 is still the right price
I concur
I mean, I am fine with paying that amount of money but can I impregnate someone else if I get a better deal?
"She should be demanding at least $350,000,000 to raise a child. For child care and for her post natal therapy sessions"
Females believe that the children are their own. But therapy ? Gen Z females are fragile and 1/10 the females that their grandmothers were
If a woman wants children, then good. Consider having kids then.
If a woman wants kids but can't, then they deserve empathy, not judgement.
And if a woman chooses to be child free, respect that choice, please.
Also don't assume that child free women just want to party and live a crazy life full of drinking, drugs and sleeping around. Many are living quiet lives. Some are taking care of siblings or aging parents. Some are living with physical and/or mental disabilities. Some are focusing on bettering themselves and become their best selves.
It don't cost a thing to show kindness.
Women come down on stay at home wives entirely more than the other way around. Just stop
@@Strongdadlifting I think it's both about equal. Especially from those who who live to criticize others. Or men who hate all women and will criticize them regardless of what that woman does.
In general women will get criticized. And all we can do is show compassion to each other. I love women who chose to be stay at home mothers and wives. They are the cornerstone of society.
@@ADBH-sd8cz it just can’t statistically be equal. It’s rare to see a millennial stay at home. It will be increasingly rare to see a gen Z… to say equal is disingenuous
@@Strongdadlifting there are plenty of women of all generations who just want peace and to be left alone at home. Especially those of us that don't drink or have sensory issues.
@@ADBH-sd8cz ‘peace’ was a Freudian slip?
I just want to say that women have always, ALWAYS, worked. The only women who didn't have work outside the home were middle-class and upper-class women.
Lower middle class and poor women worked because the men of those classes couldn't support a family alone. And, black women, especially, worked because we weren't allowed not to.
That said, I hope she gets her bag.😊
But also women worked in the home and got paid for the stuff they did, like selling homemade b33r, produce and textiles/garments. They define anything women do as "not work" so it doesn't count, but they also appropriate skills and cottage industries that are profitable, which also is correlated with "we're the breadwinners and you don't contribute." Because they take everything and devalue everything they don't take
@@no_peaceeven women worked in factories as well
We've been agrarian for many centuries until recently in the 20th century. The lower class still mostly worked from home on the family farm. The poorest basically rented farmland from a wealthier farmer to work as a family. A few women worked in the homes of the wealthy.
Hearth labor was women's work. Even gatherers in tribes did the equivalent.
The merchant class began the growth of the middle class during the Renaissance. Families worked together in a business outside the home -- still together.
Women worked either for their husband or their father. The rest were exceptions. That changed with the industrial revolution. Women began to work for strangers, and that has only increased into the modern norm. This era is short compared to most of women's history. Hearth labor is our past and still our present (just doubled because of outside labor), and it was unpaid and often unappreciated when it kept the family together for so long.
@@NormieNeko Ty kindly for the info.
On a side-note, 'hearth labour' reminds me of my goddess Brigid
I'm an eldest daughter. My youngest brother was born when I was 18 so I'm considered the extended support network. I experienced first hand how hard it is to raise a child. It isnt easy AT ALL. I 100% raised my standards for who I might have a child with and if I love a man and don't feel he's cut out for fatherhood I don't mind not having one at all
Well said.
Well said! You might also come from a culture or faith group where marriage and family are still upheld, and where men are held accountable and punished by the community for being poor fathers and husbands.
"I'm an eldest daughter. My youngest brother was born when I was 18 so I'm considered the extended support network. I experienced first hand how hard it is to raise a child"
Gladly, you fulfilled your role as a helpful sibling. There is usually a much smaller age gap between children
Saaame. My baby brother was also born when I was 18, and I'm also the eldest daughter in my family. He's gonna be 11 next month and I have absolutely no desire to have kids of my own. After helping my parents raise all 4 of my younger siblings, I never wanna change another diaper again. 🙃 I desperately need some peace and quiet...
@@sunnychick9328 Childcare is much different when the children are your own. With your experience from care of your siblings, you should highlight these valuable maternal skills when you are dating : Experienced at mothering, 0 children, want 2+ children
44 and Childfree it was the best decision for me
50 and SAME. People used to tell me I would regret it when I got older, the older I get the happier I am I never did it. Furthermore, I would rather not have kids and regret that then have kids and regret them that’s not fair to the little humans that didn’t ask to be born to you
42 and with you ... grew up watching what happened to kids whose fathers in particular refused to get it together ... grew up watching how mothers and children suffered ... refused to perpetuate it ... decided to get in the trenches and help out with the kids already here, not add to the number. Looking forward to living a rich auntie life from here on!
45 and same.
Gonna follow the same path … so delicious ❤
❤❤❤❤
She is so smart! So I was born in the 70s, my parents got divorced when I was about five so my mom was left with two little kids to take care of 24 hours a day except for the weekends that my dad had us. My dad decided to pretend he wasn’t employed so he wouldn’t have to pay child support. So we were raised in poverty, so because my mom didn’t have many Social Security credits on the books because she took care of kids her whole life she was living in poverty at the end of her life. After paying for housing and transportation she had $16 left every month. I have no idea how she even lived. My dad at 73 years old was still doing construction projects for other elderly people because his Social Security was crap because he had worked under the table in his prime working years to avoid child support so he didn’t get any Social Security credits either.
Women who SAHM until the child(ren) reach school age also negatively impact their retirement SSI significantly. It isn't just the mother's earnings during her work life that are forever reduced.
Its not just about the economy for women... in making a decision to have kids, finances is the only thing a man has to think about but Women have to think about money, the hit our career will take, the impact on our body, risking our health and our life, our body attractiveness our vag etc. mothers are devalued as used up, and if our man perceives the impact on you as negative, making us unappealing they will harrass, berate, abuse us even leave us which might be a better fate. Then theres our free time our leisure time is gone, we have to sacrifice hobbies, friendships and time alone, even bathroom time. You become a 24 hour servant. Sleep obliterated. Then there is the ungratefulness and lack of reward or appreciation for your sacrifices from both husband and sometimes children. So yeah...its complicated for women and we are no longer hiding the truth or shaming women for not just giving up her life to procreate and mindlessly repeating "children are a blessing." They are...but...more like a tradeoff that disadvatages women.
The way the system is women are set up to be exploited. You can't get social security, unemployment, sick days, retirement, whatever, from being a sahm or primary parent and you have to give up a ton of stuff that would provide those types of things for you
I'm child free but the only way I'd ever stay at home or have kids or any of that would be as a w2 employee. So I can have the protections of A WORKER WHO WORKS AT HOME
So weird. You need a talk with my wife . 130+ IQ and 1550 on her SATs… stay at home wife…
What you have been sold is a total sham. You really need to look into conversations with women outside of this sphere.
Men don't get much for it either. not even proper parental leave! the system demands only more work and money.
They have bullied women online for the past 5 years , to the point no one wants them . They are desperately looking to get in relationships just to turn around and do the same bs . True me, I started to wear fake engagement rings so they won’t approach me in public. 😂
Lmaoooo Andrew Tate cracks me up. If I was his grandmother and saw that he was a product of me having that first kid I might wish I hadn’t.
Exactly, the fact he exist makes me question am I going to contribute to the existence of a psycho? I want no parts of it
@jtw99235
What woman would be willing yo marry that without ulterior motives?.. Talk about being unequally yoked - even if she's an atheist!
I'm glad that this is being talked about more & articulated in a way that women can now properly state their concerns without it being deemed as "you're just being dramatic, emotional or unreasonable."
She is smart, because the statistics show that if you have a child and are out of the workforce for even a year that is income lost that affects your investments. Now, if you and your spouse decide that you will stay-at-home mom for several years, that is an even bigger loss on income, investments, skill level, and work experience. Also, divorce does happen and the statistics also show that women in heterosexual relationships are more likely to have financial hardship or even fall below the poverty line after divorce. So, if the woman is going to give up her job to have a child she needs to have income coming in. Now, the amount is up to each person. If she was making 250k a year then that is her choice to want to match that.
Literally one of the many reason's I'm not having kids
rnen are mad about it because they want people like HER to give up $250k a year, they don't want to do it. Isn't that funny? If she loses a million bucks whatever but if he loses it, that's a lot of money. They are so entitled
@@Melly16yr10you chicks do know your average pay is public right?
@@Strongdadliftingare you making 300k/year, and compensating her for her hours? If so, good for your wife. Otherwise, her lifespan is currently dwindling to make up for what you can’t provide.
As the parent of TWO special needs children-when I obviously didn’t expect to have anything but typical developing children, and didn’t even realize my kids had disabilities until my youngest was already several months old, you absolutely need to be prepared financially, because not only are kids expensive, but you never know if you’re going to have a child that is disabled. The average child costs $287,432 to raise. But a disabled child costs between 1-2.5 MILLION to raise, NOT including the care they will require when you’re dead if they are severely disabled and require full care.
People going in to having children unprepared financially and emotionally and physically to care for whatever cards they may be dealt is reckless. It’s 100% understandable.
Not to mention-it’s difficult to even MAKE an income when it cost double for specialty medically trained care givers to watch your kids, and when you have countless appointments occurring during business hours.
There is always a risk that the kids will be disabled. It's a lottery and parents need money for that risk
@@beaulieuc8910 True, thou many get surprised however if there's no known family history of it. Many things can be genetic.
I agree. I’m married and we don’t have kids. I make $60k as a college graduate in accounting (mid west) $60k is average.
Sooo who having a baby at $60k. If I ended up divorced with a baby. How can I take care of them? Child support is not a given
That’s very smart! I pray to find a childfree man to marry ❤❤
What kind of lifestyle are you living? Bought a house for my wife, 2 kids with one on the way, we can put a little away every month when we budget.
Problem with a lot (not saying you) of these women is their unrealistic nature about the material shit they need in life. WITH ALL DUE RESPECT. My wife is so much better than most all women. Not shaking me down for $1000 bags for no reason and bugging me about our next overseas trip.
Y’all (not saying you) ain’t shit
I think it’s downright disgusting that workplaces would give men a bonus for having kids meanwhile the woman is punished by either losing her job or a decrease pay. Who is the one that does the hard work of actually carrying a child inside of them for 9 months and go through the horrific experience of childbirth? Women do!!! And society has the nerve to ask women why are they not having kids. I hate society so much sometimes.
I believe that if we want more babies, we need to start paying a parent to stay at home. It makes no sense to work 24/7 without a livable wage.
I'm childfree partly because of medical issues, but also by choice. I never wanted to care for children or enjoyed spending time with them. AND I was always aware of the fact that having a child would put me in a vurnebale position. Either being depended on a partner or having to deal with being a working single mom always struggling. I love my husband, but he isn't the type who would equally care for the children or do house chores to the same level as I do- and let's be honest...most men are like that. I have huge respect for all the mothers out there! I rather work 12 hour shifts than care for children 24/7 - mybe something is wrong in my brain but I just can't deal with that.
Well said
Im glad that younger women are being smarter with their lives. I have 4 and Im 30. My life is no longer about me not for a minute. I work every minute that I am awake and get no breaks. I am not complaining but being honest, because it is CRAZY busy. Some days I am only on my feet and don't get a minute off until bed. Honestly some days I am so exhausted I start to cry because I really need a break. I don't regret my kids I fucking love those kids, a love like no other, I would give my life for them. But at the same time, I can see how bad their father has fucked up in many things. Men can't imagine the pain it is to carry and have a baby. The mental load of having a child is the worst, exhaustion, insomnia, anxiety, postpartum depression, fear, etc. They are crazy stupid thinking that we must have their kids, that it doesn't hurt because our bodies are meant for it, that we can stop postpartum depression if we just shut up and stop crying, that our bodies have to look a certain way after babies. Good for young ladies, to have high standards and be picky, having a child is not easy and it is not a guarantee that you won't end up raising it alone.
Well said. I don't think I could deal with one kid let alone 4. I don't want to be just a mother and do childbirth and breastfeeding etc. I'm glad women have access to better protection and morning after pills and men have better quality condoms. We also can talk about being child free with our partner and don't have to have kids as we don't want them
I dont recommend motherhood to any woman. Luckily, I had my son at 21, which was EXTREMELY difficult as a single mother, but he's 19 now and I can live a more free lifestyle
listen ladies, you must becareful with your decision cause itsnot only affect you but also affect your future children ( if you want to have ) .
mine is : i amnot gonna married for Suffer . if i already live in good life as single woman , i amnot gonna married for live in suffer . i will only married if marriages give me better life than my life as single woman right now . if it isnot, i wont settle . i better spend my time improve myself , my life and be kind to peoples around me .
On top of all of that I would add that children/babys deserve to be born into a safe environment, both financially and emotionally!
As a neglected unwanted abused former child I can speak from experience. I still struggle from the aftermath of my messed up childhood as a 36 year old woman.
So - if you can't afford kids, if you're gonna be an absent father or an abusive mother, do NOT have children.
I call bs that’s it’s “easiest” because the mom carried. Ive seen wlw couples where the woman not carrying immediately stepped up.
Why have a man of other women do it better?
women always worked though. They worked and had kids and took care of the home.
Having my babygirl was the best decision in my life💖so fullfilling of happiness&love🙌
you sure ?
@@Mara.Isabelle 💯💯💯🙏
I feel so grateful to have been protected from motherhood in this lifetime. Even when my ex raped me. I love my job so much. I help a lot of people, and i love being in my own company ❤ i dont need kids or a man to be happy and grateful 🙏 😊
This would really make me consider having a child if I had to do as she desires and prefers, that is very very very smart of her to do. Because women always have these thoughts of OK if I have a child, this is going to happen this is going to happen, and if they leave, I am responsible. Now she is forcing men to have those samethoughts and question if they are truly ready
The Vikings used to respect women who died while bringing a child onto this planet at the same level of soldiers who died in the war, if not more..
Today, if a man joins military, he gets paid and gets insurance for his entire family.. despite wars and attacks being seldom..
Today women don't even get respected for risking their lives and bringing a child into this world..Despite.. Child birth being essential to continue the species..
It's as if they only value the masculine efforts of the people. And I'm a tomboy myself....
As if we owe them our pain and suffering..
and we also do household chores while also earning money...
Ladies..Tax the government for our labour...
Or something lol
How is she asking for too much if life is priceless?
Life, under capitalism, is not priceless. You are expendable, and if you can not get a job, then it is assumed to be your fault if you starve. So, by not having children, we reduce the supply of future workers and increase their value in society. Supply and demand.
Right, two lives are on the line.. I require all the same.. until than… my life will stay golden🍾
It's sad to me that raising children is even being approached as a burden, but it's the reality many women face due to lack of support. With the proper support systems in place, mostly by the husband, but also by society, having a child wouldn't even be thought of as a burden. I'm nearly convinced we should go back to having rites of passage into manhood. So if a man can't prove himself worthy of the title of being a man, he wouldn't have access to women, marriage, sex or progeny. Period. Our wombs are not here to provide community service to men who do not deserve the privilege of a legacy.
❤❤❤❤
I'm FtM, and if I lived in a place were community got together daily to take care of kids, and I could take my baby/child to work if need-be, I'd consider having my own biological child.
Can you say it louder for the ones in the back of the class?
What happened to Williams reminded me of something that has happened in my home country, France in 2017. A young black woman called an emergency number for severe stomach pain, she said to the woman on the phone "it's hurting me, I'm gonna die". She replied "well...we'll all gonna die Ma'am..."
She had to call many other emergency services. But it was too late. She indeed died.
The case is going to court only now!
Women's complains in general are taken less seriously than men's. but it's even worse for Black women.
They say tarditional women didn´t work but that was actually only the upper class. Everyone else had working wives and children. It is a common misconception that women only started working during the industrial era, but that is false. Women have always been working. Men couldn´t provide for their families alone. There is a reason why children and women worked throughout history. Men died in their thirties, on jobsites and in wars. Women had to provide for their families and even had to send their children to work. There are only specific societies and their time period, where women weren´t allowed to work. They are known and used as evidence that women didn´t work. But the majority of history was women working just like men. Making clothes, pottery, farming, construction work and more. Just because ancient greece and the stories of the upper class in the 1800s are popular, doesn´t mean that it is a reflection of womankind working throughout history. Just look at male archeologist now shown to be wrong because they assumed certain tombs and burial sites belonged to men.
Many of us who aren't going child free are going are doing one and done, simply because we might be able to make time and money sacrifices enough for one within a stable marriage/situation in this economy, but not more. It costs to raise one kid now what it did my parents to raise 2-3.
I have a one month old son, and the hospital billed my insurance almost 75,000 USD so far for the birth. (No c section, though I was induced.) I still expect to pay $5000-$10,000 of that myself, even with my husband's decent insurance. When I imagine healthcare costs piling up, and the realization that if we wanted more kids we'd need to buy a decent sized house (we haven't even bought a house yet because we can't afford most of the homes where we are now, but we are looking at small 2-3 bedroom homes in a cheaper state for the future. We are renting a 2 bedroom apartment right now)...
By the way, I'm 35 with a Master's, lived in Japan for 6 years and speak Japanese fluently. I make $15/hr teaching ESL onsite at a university. That's what they pay ESL profs in my area. If not for my husband making upper five digits as a software engineer, we'd be screwed. We live in a HCOL state so we aren't making savings like we should, but we aren't starving...yet. And my husband does switch sleep shifts on and off to watch the baby, he does participate a lot and is a great dad. I ended up with someone where, if the economy didn't suck, I would happily have 2-3 kids since my husband behaves as a parent and my teammate, so I am lucky there.
So I understand the decision to be child free. A lot of this gen and next gen will be 0-1 in the kids department.
Yes. The way it’s not making financial sense to have children, is insane. I might be a one and done. Always thought I’d have at least 2-3 kids, but they need to have an excellent quality of life and the way things are going, it would be so expensive to have even one, let alone a couple. And I live in a country where there is a free healthcare system and it’s still expensive af to have kids, especially childcare costs 🫣
I would rather spend that money in savings for a house.
I love this woman’s list. ❤
Yes!! This is so relevant!! Thank you for making this video.
There isn't enough money in world tongo through that ever again. Nope!
RIP Verlicia 'PENNY' Caston
We Miss You. 💐💜💜
I am a mother of 2, i have not been painfree since i gave birth to my first baby, because of how his birth went.
He is 3 ½ now and slowly but sure i start getting better again, but the lack of help and support that mothers have nowadays is a big issue.
In my case i was just not aware of how much being an expat and then rhe pandemic changed all plans to an extend that his family is too far to help as well while he is working full time.
It is hard to be a mother now and it feels like the respect for mothers is getting less again
Yes I'm glad women have a choice not to do it.
Your room looks so cute ^_^
First you look so cute & thank u for covering this topic!!!🗣️💸
Taking care of kids is a big job. Why do it? The same reason people join the military during war to defend their country. There are bigger things than your own comfort. If Millennials, Gen Z, and Gen Alpha don't have children then the country doesn't have a future. Unfortunately, it is so expensive. That is something that everyone should be concerned about and be working to fix.
Did you ever think that maybe the driving reason why you now need 2 people to pay the bills for one family when you used to be able to do it on one income....MIGHT just be because all the women entered the workforce? It's simple supply and demand. If you double the number of workers flooding into the job market you are going to create an oversupply which will push the price (i.e. the wages) down. A common sense test can tell you that this is true. Just ask yourself one question...
If all the women of childbearing age all quit the job market today...what would happen?
Well...the wages of those remaining in the workforce would go up. They would have to. A whole bunch of gaps would have opened up in every company on the planet and if employers want to keep their companies running they would need to fill those seats. How do you do that?
Offer more money of course.
So if women all left the job market that would mean wages would ratchet up. But that ALSO means...that the slow and steady intrusion of women into the workforce has been slowly but surely pushing wages DOWN.
The law of supply and demand is as immutable as the law of gravity. It just is the way things work.
Also..these statistics are kind of silly without thoughtful examination.
Men get a RAISE per child that they have? Really? Are you really going to believe that when our wives have children that our bosses call us into a secret meeting and are like, "Listen Brother...we're gonna give you a raise. Because we know you have that kid now. But don't tell the ladies. We don't want them to know."
Common. Again. Run it through a filter of common sense...
Is it possible that men who have multiple children might....just MIGHT....feel driven and WHIPPED by the taskmaster's lash to work harder and longer and do whatever it takes to make more money because they have that nagging feeling at the back of their mind that those extra kids are at home depending on him? Hmmm.... I mean...seriously. Which is more likely? Men are given raises just for having kids...or men who have kids work harder so they can make more money to pay for them?
Or how about this? Maybe...the kind of men who are going to EARN MORE REGARDLESS....also happen to be the kinds of people who are going to have more kids? Men are not stupid. They see the writing on the wall. Some men can tell that things are either not going to work out well for them or things are not going to work out well....very fast. So they get "the snip". This would create a situation where men who do NOT think the deck is stacked against them have more kids because they anticipate being able to make more money anyway...so they have more kids....while those who DO feel the deck is stacked against them and they WON'T be able to make as much money have fewer kids. That situation would result in the exact statistics you quoted. It would look like men who have kids are getting a raise. But that wouldn't be what was happening at all.
This is why statistics are bunk. I mean I could run a study right now that that would "prove" that farming with a horse drawn plow increases fertility rates. Yup. I guarantee it 100% that it would show that. Farmers who farm with a plow in America have more kids than farmers who use tractors. I guess plows are a fertility drug.
But is that what's really going on? Or is it that the farmers who tend to use plows also tend to be Amish and Amish people tend to have 7.5 children per family?
You can "lie with statistics" very easily to make whatever point you want. But if those points are not actually true...they just SEEM true because you leaned on deceptively woven statistics...then you will get the results of aligning yourself with lies and errors that you think are true.
I like your video and how you research about the topic
I do not think if someone does not want to have children, that is fine. But, if young people are sitting around to have children due to economy and to be financially stable. You will be too old to have children as my parents told me. Which is true. I believe people should be married before having children. I have seen my family make choices to have children as single a parent. It is not a good choice for you or children. Because of the financially end and child needs the love of both parents. I have seen both side of children with a single and ones with both parents. Big difference. But, the rewards in the end of having children is great. Young people, I hope you enjoy being a mother or fathers.
yeah, I get it.
the "traditional" family people want only really started with the 1950s housewife before that men and women both worked especially the working class and only during the Industrial Revolution did children stop working Tyler bender here on UA-cam has a really good video about how tradwives kinda yearn for a time that didn't really exist
Maternity leave is 18 months in my country. I’m pregnant currently (planned with my husband), but curious to learn about why so many women are becoming turned off by the idea of having kids.
I had 2 months before I had to go back to work in USA
@@Anon00113 how long is mat leave in the States?
@3l3phantz I think the standard for maternity leave in the US is 12 weeks which is 3 months. That's what my job offers and only 6 weeks paid the other 6 weeks unpaid
@@angelayala9065 😱 sorry to hear that. So short. Moms need time to heal and enjoy being able to just be a mom while cared for financially
@@Tresdrole123 I totally agree! It's ridiculous they expect us back and working so quick. That's why me and my fiance are saving up to have a baby and hopefully after the baby ill be able to go part time. I wish you the best and a healthy pregnancy ❤️
I hate T. but also that sentiment. I care about her thoghts, her job, her feelings. I hope she has other people in hear live then T. who apprechiate those and wouldn't talk down on them. I hope she's proud and happy of at least a few of those things.
I mean yes, realtionships are more important then career. BUT saying they don't matter? Her lives work and effort dosn't MATTER? that's hideous
Ask for One Million to have a rug rat😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉😂😂😂😂😂
The catch 22 situation the modern woman is struggling to make a way through: grandmas were not equipped with a higher education, they were not independent, but they had a life long marriage, with many children and grandchildren. Modern woman is liberated, educated and independent, but is facing an existential crisis: No marriage, no children, frozen eggs, maybe can get children, but marriage might be out of reach.
A culture of hopelessness, fear and death. Very sad
The money aspect of parenting isn’t the hard part. You’re bringing a human into the world blending families. A human that needs an emotionally available parents that can help them navigate through life. Getting money is easy part. If the dad is not involved,you’ll create angry young men and women that seek male attention. I have 5 children. The money part wasn’t that hard, but the mental aspect is a mind fuck. I’m a woman and I know nothing about how to talk to women. I know food or bath and body works helps when my girls are mad at me.
Part of the reason why we have so many of the problems that we have now as a country is because women are not having enough children. Children are necessary to replace the people dying and to grow our economy. You need 2 kids per couple to sustain an economy and 3 or more to grow it. A huge reason why so many first world economies globally are in the shitter is because we don’t have new people, young people coming in to innovate and to take on the workload. We have an ever increasing elderly population that’s becoming a burden on society, but no new people. Not to mention a lot of the young people that we do have now are lazy or entitled. As a result, we need to import people from other countries to keep society going. This is why you see so many governments and politicians welcoming people outside of their own country because without people society fails. Without young, able bodied, willing participants society stops. All this shit we know stops. We talk all the time about money and its importance, but the truth is the real currency of any society is people.
vote Blue to save democracy 💙
Don’t want to sustain a capitalist and patriarchal society!
Welcome to the matrix.
Immigration can help to mitigate this.
There is a lot of intellectual dishonesty and lies in this video. I was expecting a comprehensive analysis on "why should women have children in this economy" but got solemnly disappointed.
1. Women were not allowed to study?
2. Women weren't allowed to work
3. Women's earning decreases after child birth
Have you reasearched and studied the subject? Stating numbers and dates does not provide answers to multifaceted questions. This video lacks WHY,HOW, WHO, WHAT and WHEN...
Take the fuzziness off your mic I can hear it super annoying
it's your speakers, they are bad😂😂😂😂
It's easy to say that you don't want to have a baby because of money, but life can be very unpredictable.
So things might not be perfect enough for you to feel ever comfortable enough to have kids, and then when you get old if you're blessed to age... You'll feel empty because you'll be a old ass lady and you won't have no kids or grandkids or a lineage or legacy to leave anything to...
Then you can be rich and just donate all your money to a cause but sometimes when you donate money it doesn't go exactly the way you want it to go because man is inherently corrupt
You don't need to have children to have a lineage, nor a legacy.
Or you can foster and help children who had a rough life if you’re determined to raise a child
As a single mom I don’t know why videos like this come up in my suggestions. Respectfully, I rebuke this shit. Hope to never to see it again 🙏
Your engaging with the content though… the algorithm is going to bring you more of what you click on and comment on
Mmmmmmm too bad you got knocked up by a no good ninja before getting these valuable lessons🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️
Did you even watch it? Lots of people here are moms, single or otherwise
The world doesn’t like single mothers, I’m trying to not be you. Thanks
I hope you got all the money and the support you need, miss. This content is for the people who don't
anti family propaganda. youtube loves pushing this garbage.
Honestly no. Anti natalism pushed by the elites is very different to the conversation being had here. Either your too impatient to listen to these women's concerns or your one of the men described in this video.
It is great. Stop having kids 😊
This is really annoying. People are wasting so much time fearing cost of having children. At the end of the day, you can do it, you can afford it if you want to. If it means you won't live a glamorous instagram lifestyle of traveling, so be it, it still can work. Please stop this nonsense. If you don't wanna have kids because you don't like em, that's fine. But the idea that you won't because of cost is so wrong.
No, it's not wrong. Kid's shouldn't be born into a family that can't afford them. There's too many kids living in poverty because of this. Wanting to wait until you can afford a child before having one is SMART. Kids cost a lot of money even just for basic needs. But kids should be able to experience more than just basic needs and not constantly have to worry about money.
Affording something while suffering and being extremely comfortable are different realities. Without money all the labour around kids is left with the parents and your child has few options. Some people don’t care but for many people if money was no issue having children would be a more desirable goal. Raising kids when you have money for a cleaner, cook, fantastic school, kids activities and you can still have a life is a different reality. You do you.
having kids when you can’t afford them is selfish. not everyone deserves to have a kid or will make a good parent. you’re probably annoyed because you want to have kids for your own selfish reasons like spreading your dna and not “dying alone.”
Having kids is incredibly expensive and finances are absolutely a factor in having kids.
Kids are expensive and this coming from I who has a 1 year old. Finances are is one of the reason why I don’t want to have another
My mum had me and my brother in her mid to late 30's, she was the breadwinner and dad did a lot of the parenting (not sure when we were baby babies). It's so weird seeing all these other situations when my household was wildly different. But me, I am choosing and will always choose to be childfree. My brother, on the other hand, wants children, so I can only hope that he's a good dad and doesn't use weaponized incompetence and is just an all-round decent partner🤞
My mom only had one child. My dad wanted more kids and one day she asked my dad to pay for health insurance and he refused. So she decided not to have anymore kids.
The fact that he thought it a good idea to have kids with no health insurance 🤦🏾♀️
Moms a smart lady💜💜💜
"My dad wanted more kids and one day she asked my dad to pay for health insurance and he refused. So she decided not to have anymore kids"
He should have walked out because his investment in her was too high
@@GK-op4ocso dad cant afford health insurance for one child but he wants more kids?
Did you read your own words?
@@oliviaobiajanope,just spewing nonsense.
The irony of blaming women for not picking better while getting at us for our standards 💀
don’t make sense at all 😂
Ah yes, if your partner is a massive jerk, it is YOUR fault for not choosing better, but if you choose carefully, you are a b*tch who "needs lower to realistic standards". Like... Decide yourself 😂
"Your standards are too high you have to settle"
"Oh he left oh he is a deadbeat dad? Choose better" yeah we don't care what men think anymore because they've proven time and time again that they are contradictory and clownish
That’s valid but y’all end up picking the same dude and complain when dude has kids from different women.
@@isaac80745 wow. How's it feel to walk into the point n not realize it? 💀
To be honest, I think that's a fair trade. If a man want's a woman to trade her self-sufficience and independence for motherhood...he needs to make it worth it. Pay off her student loans as a condition of marriage. Or at the very least, pay her what she would be paid from an employer had she not made that sacrifice.
Facts. Motherhood is extremely expensive.
Do you not think the government should do that? Maybe create a women's cell or a union for housewives.
So, he needs to not only pay for the home, bills, and kids expenses. But pay you an allowance that matches your salary? Did I get that right?
@@alkahinat4558really 😂😂
@@Strongdadlifting why don’t you look it up? Business Insider valued the work a wife/mother does, at £200,000 per year and that was a while back, it’s probably higher now with inflation.
Or, you could use your common sense to realise that if you paid for a nanny, housekeeper, chef, personal shopper, nurse, driver and personal assistant to help run your household…it would cost a lot. Mothers do it for free.
What are you pretending not to get, so that you can argue on the internet over facts?
Women who don't take men to court for child support blow my mind. Make him pay! He can't pay and you feel bad? Send him to jail where he doesn't have to support himself.
@jtw99235These idiots want children but then hate having to support it? Why have the child in the first place?
But let me guess, you're pro choice.......The irony 🤦♂️
someone seems to think of people as a walking ATM, and it sure as hell isn't me.
@@evilds3261those women wanted child first...men have no say according to law
@@balajiraju4157 It's simple, don't have sex. Save lots of money. There is no law that men have to have sex. What on earth are you talking about?
I don't know one woman who's actually happy to have children. Sure, she loves them and all that but all they do is complain how the husband doesn't help and how tedious and annoying kids are and this and that. That doesn't sound like something I want to commit to 18 years of my life for.
Every mom I know is struggling. A lot of it seems to come from over extending themselves because they think they should be doing all these things.
My ex was like that, he always got impatient when the baby would cry and left the poo diapers only on me to change . I've seen other men who are patient , supportive.
Kids are the best. I would recommend
@@2okaycola based on what, bb? You're not selling it.
Black community or white community? Some communities have childbirth down pat. Depends on who you're around.
My mormom amd christian families? No problem. Asain families? No problem.
White and black families....depends.
I have literally seen dad’s sit eating by himself while the mom is attending to the kids . I do feel bad for both women in these videos, but more so for the woman about to pop and the man child complained that the baby pooped in the diaper, and she was on her feet cooking the family dinner.
I’m only having fur babies, and my mom is going to have to accept that the two cats I want will be surrogate grand(fur)kids.
The only alternative is that he HAS to be Uber wealthy in order to have children. I know that sounds like a gold digger mindset but it would be the best life for the kids, and for me in order to afford a personal trainer to bounce back physically from pregnancy, doctors for nutrition, and nannies in order to go out and work somewhere.
No one cares. It’s best you don’t
@@Strongdadliftingagreed. All children deserve parents, not all parents deserve children. Childcare is NOT for the faint of heart. I'm so glad you agree that not everyone should have children!
As a wife and mother of 3 in a two income family just touching 100k I say dont do it ladies! I dont have the time or money to recoup mentally. Adopt or stay a rich auntie or do a Big sister program volunteer at a homeless shelter or DV shelter anything but become an mother follow Jesus. Then go home to your clean home take a bubble bath and recoup. Ive had a press on/gel nail kit sitting in my closet going on 3 years now that I wish I could use😅 but between kids husband my employer the chores cooking my on off depression I dont have time to take care of myself I braid all the heads in the house hold except for mine. Cant even manage to braid my hair down for a headband wig. Ive tried waking at 5:00am every day and recently discovered that if I clock out at 5:00pm WFH and cook and clean until 12:am everyday thats the only way to keep my house inorder. Maybe yall can get away with 1 kid but then you start thinking what if they get lonely. Just be a rich auntie you can choose to give to the community in your spare time.
In solidarity ❤
Thank you for your honesty. Hope things get easier for you 💖
But at the end of the day you get the status we don’t
Girl no offense but you gotta put your foot down. I understand you’re trying to keep the peace but you are running yourself into the ground. If you die overworking yourself guess what the man finds a replacement who will live off of what you worked your ass off for. It’s not fair to you or the children given that you stated you work and bring an income home too. Your kids deserve to grow up with a healthy momma in body and mind. I also suggest a therapist to help you work through the mental load.
@@thrill102 it is what it is for most women, sacrifice for the betterment of the children
06:16 Imagine Andrew Tate being your proud "legacy" among a bunch of other grand-bumpkins as a woman. 🤦♀️ I am sooo envious of Tate's granny. Thank you Tate's Granny for gifting the world such excellence. You've made the world a better place.🏆 Lol. It's funny that A. T. considers his own existence such a gift to humanity, and the greatest feat his granny could ever achieve.
I read that his uncle has come out and said the family is absolutely ashamed of him. So yeah, #legacy bro 😂
It's quite clear to me that he suffers from CTE. I hope for everyone's sake he goes and gets the help that he needs
The only reason women have children with Andrew Tate is for his money
Yeah. I really don’t want to create a man who will hate women for not having kids.
I don't know if anyone "decided" that women could have an education. They had to fight for it o_o
And fuck, doctors didn't take me seriously when I had a pulmonary embolism (consequence of pill), and I pass as white. Here in France we have had multiple scandals of our equivalent of 911 making fun or dismissing black or brown women who were literally dying, and were dead hours later because some doctors didn't take them seriously. It's horrible.
Wow, some doctors. I would mock their "professionalism" after that. If a doctor dismisses a case and the person ends up dying a preventable death, that should damage their reputation. How do these doctors know the person is not suffering when they are not the person in question?
@@evilds3261 Doctors call it "the Mediterranean syndrome" : racialized women according to this, due to cultural specificities, exaggerate pain and are more dramatic about what they feel. It's blatant racism, but it's still normalized between doctors to dismiss women voicing their pain and concerns with that.
It's her womb and she has the right to call the shots.
And it’s the man’s sperm and dna. Men have a say and should have the decision as well
It's our wallets and we refuse to pay child support.
But let me guess, only wmn can opt out of parenthood
@@berrymckockiner5883 : Then wear a fkn condom!
@@berrymckockiner5883 : Why do men like you think you can skeet in any woman you choose without recourse?
@@ddrebrne3336 why do only wmn get a get out of jail for free card but not men
No as a teacher PLEASE DONT!!!! You are not spending enough time with your kids, you are working like crazy to keep up. These kids cant read on level, do basic math on level. It’s harder than you think it is!!! Now you setting them up for the same struggle😢😮
Hence why I haven't had them, yet. I'm waiting for a money bags partner, so I can spend time with my future children to teach them how to read and solve math. If they're anything like me, they'll be figuring out how to read on their own at 3, however, I have written a pledge to them that I will do my absolute best to educate and care for them.
Yeah… it’s “im against the patriarchy” higher earning parents who’s kids can’t read…. Right
I don't understand why this topic is so controversial. Some women want kids. Some women don't. It's as simple as that. Let people do what they want.
One thing is certain, it'll only get more expensive to have children as time moves on.
I'm 23 and in my final year of varsity, babies are nice and all but I'm not willing to sacrifice my body to carry on the lineage of a man who hasn't devoted himself to me. Scared shitless of being prego anyway so I want a big diamond ring, the picket fence, the push present and the house help. I can't be working hard labour for the sake of womanhood. That'll age me in dog years. So glad my current boyfriend understands that. Such a responsible chap. May the good Lord bless his heart and his pockets
My his pockets be blessed so that you can live out a soft/ prosperous lifestyle! 🙌
@@avurniche2371 thanx earthangel ✨ sending many blessings unto you and yours
I loved everything about this comment. You need to put “not willing to sacrifice my body to carry on the lineage of a man who hasnt devoted himself to me” on a tshirt and SELL IT
Update : Ole boyfrand said he'd kill me if I cheat. Unprovoked. Dumped him and changed my number today. Think he was the one cheating. No rest for the wicked
Let's focus on blending our makeup properly ladies and forget about men
@@ForTheDivine_2000 Seriously? you move fast! hahahhaha
"I'm not built to suffer"
Sis, you are my soulmate fr
Consider the hypothetical where the baby is disabled.... that costs a LOT more and if they are profoundly disabled, you will be caring for that child until you die and must prepare for their care after your death.
I honestly wouldn’t mind having children if I knew for certain the man in my life would give 100% into raising this child alongside me. But the chances of me either becoming a single mother or a married single mother is just too damn high !!!!!
I’m not taking that chance. Children are forever. They’re people, they’re humans, they’re not a pet you can just re-home or take to a shelter when things get too overwhelming or if your financial situation changes.
They’re a lifelong commitment that I refuse to take on by myself. Majority of women end up raising their children completely alone either through divorce or simply through having an incompetent man at home.
Funny that’s it’s the one who never stick around for the actual child rearing that talk the most 💩 about women not having children.
Whether we have kids or not literally changes nothing in a man’s life because it’s not like they’re helping anyways, so what’s their problem ?
He wants to build legacy with someone who makes him look good for the annual image awards, but still have work wife to terrorize the streets with.
Have your dad vet the man like I will for my daughters. Wtf so hard?
I’m sure it’s a deflection tactic
It’s way easier to scrutinise others, when looking at yourself and addressing your own flaws, is what actually makes you a better/healed person
Then they’d be better partners, but the motivation just isn’t there for improvement.
To add, I’d probably be more gung ho about having kids, if I wasn’t the gender who had to do most of the work when it comes to actually having a child
@@alkahinat4558 wtf? What nanny is getting 220k a year salary? What are you going on about? Who is giving up 220k a year??? Virtually no one. You know you are wrong and I’m the essence of chaos you don’t answer.
Yeah. Plus, the harsh truth is that these days if we bring a ‘defective child’ into the world, we can not just abandon them like past. A healthy child consumes lots of money and time. An unhealthy child will make the rest of our lives as caregivers. Even if this probability is low, I don’t wanna take it.
In Korea, some parents kill their disabled children and kill themselves too. I don’t wanna be like them.
And I don’t wanna create a miserable life for a poor soul.
Childfree because I want to be. Ain't having even if I can afford 😅
I think another thing to consider is how it is how difficult it will be to have a safe birth due to Roe Vs. Wade. Some people might think it wouldn't affect people wanting to have a child, but i believe that it does when there are some women who would face imprisonment or possibly death because they want and need a safe in order to survive. Other than that, I mostly agree with everything in this video.
Exactly. The risk of imprisonment for a miscarriage? The risk of death by some defect? Heck, if we get an ectopic pregnancy will they even do anything? The risks are massive. Medieval. Actually, not medieval, because they prioritized the life of the mother in medieval times. There is way too much danger involved, and I even want a kid 😭
@RP-uu7oq Right. Even tho I've never been married before or had kids at 22 but it still scares me to even consider pregnancy to be on my mind. If anything, I'd rather adopt a child. But I understand there are things to consider with that option as well.
Yeah with Roe verses Wade banned woman will have to consider more if having a child will be worth the risk and especially if their doctor said it would put their life in danger to give birth.
I wish the United States would look at other countries maternity programs and consider adopting them like a few months of maternity leave for both mother and father plus some pay a supplement income to parents who have kids.
Also the list that you showed as a requirement for one woman to have a baby? Well other woman in other countries already implement a system like that for themselves.
Thank you for the video.
Most women dont need to have children anyway. So i hope this trend continues 😮
And most men don't deserve to be fathers.
Yes there is no reason to have them
@@beaulieuc8910 Mothers need to have them but most women don't... agreed
Some people are not capable of or fit to be parents.
As a older woman l can tell you we had these thoughts and worries. But l myself and many like me, were child brides and gave birth while still just a teen. A indentured slave to a older man. A burden that cost money so you better earn your keep. Im so very proud of your generation. ❤
That is so terrifying and tragic. It's bloody sick that child brides are still a thing.
Less BM.... I am all for it.
I hope when you say BM you mean baby mamas and not black men
@@aestheticbeauties2001who the hell knows
The thing that gets missed so much by Everyone when they want a traditional woman or man.
Is for the majority of history the Majority of All Women worked.
Women have always worked.
Unless you were rich or high upper middle class you worked. Either with your husband behind him in his shop store ect. Or for someone else.
There's really only a small snippet of history were the majority of women stayed home and did the house work and raised kids. This happened after the world wars.
The world and economy has fallen both people need to work again, in the majority of the world
The big difference is Women are going. Yeah we aren't going back to per war times. Where I work the same hours you do, than do all the household duties and child rearing.
Men, if you Don't want to do a fairer slipt of duties than we anit having a relationship or kids with you. Surprise.
Lol to the Many say its all Feminism fault.
Sure is. Women want to be treated like a fellow Human Being and Not Unfairly exploited for our bodies and time.
Men want to go back to a traditional women because we cut your labor down. Having a woman decreased a mans work load and has alway increased a womans.
An we are done. Im not having kids with a man unless he brings something beneficial to my life (in the same way i do to his, fairness)
We are not your ATM.....u guys offer nothing...men started not dating movement like mgtow very long ....we can fill sex urge with one night stand or hiring hookers.....in future ai going to change relationship and we do not serve women and worship
I have never met a woman with multiple children who doesn't have accelerated ageing, if you want to choose that that's fine but you will never be the same as you were before children and men that take care of single mothers are rare and special
I'm so glad that in Maryland, there's been an increase in financial assistance such as increasing the eligibility for child care vouchers, Medicaid eligibility increase for children and pregnant women , more medical providers that accept Medicaid,programs such as WIC and SNAP. It's helping a lot of families . It helped me as a full time working single mom . I'm not sure if these programs are as wide spread in other states, Especially the child care vouchers .
It’s not wide spread… not in southern red states anyway 😒
That's really good but that doesn't seem to help the middle class at all. Rich people can afford it. People in poverty have government help. Middle class is on their own and thats most Americans. I think that's why we're seeing this issues in mainstream.
Maybe if you are a single mom,I don't think that's for married mothers
I don't understand why poor people just don't stay together. Two incomes are better than one and when you are poor you need every last cent you can get.
The problem with this is that it is incentivizing the wrong people to have children. If you need vouchers to subsidize care, food and medical care you probably shouldn’t have children.
In my case, my husband and I make too much and our monthly childcare bill is $2k. No way we’d be able to afford a second. Seems like children are either for the low income or high income folks, if your middle class forget about it.
When you are 52 and you are alone in your house.......pop open a bottle of champagne and invite your friends rounds for a chat about a ladies holiday in summer ✌
What sucks the most is being a parent is not a responsibility that ends when the kid turns 18. For the rest of your life you have this one person who is your kid that you cant leave. You'd worry about their safety just as much as you would if they were a toddler. Be a chef and maid when they come back home to see you, lend them money, hear about and help with their relationships, hope they dont go out in the world being a horrible human being to others. You never clock out from this job or are able to put in a 2 weeks notice and you are unpaid for the labor. Being a mother sounds like signing up for eternal anxiety, unconditional understanding, and slavery.
If you raise them right you don’t have to worry. However, when people aren’t ready they’re more likely to give emotional baggage that could keep them from flying.
I wonder if Andrew Tate ever asked his grandmother how she arrived at having 9 children. Was it a joint decision in which her input held actual weight and not one where her partner’s and society’s input out weighed her own? Did he ever ask what goals she held before becoming a parent to 9 children and what limitations she would have faced if she pursued them, especially as a mother? Has he ever asked if she ever felt trapped in the life she was in?
Was it enough to only recount the times the men in his life expressed how great becoming a husband and father has been for them? Not to say that her response couldn’t have been that having 9 children was all she’s ever wanted and the happiest she’s ever been, but if someone is going to prescribe a major life decision to half of the population, the least you could do is get feedback from an actual woman who has been through it.
Men don't want to marry, so why should women want to have kids? Personally I have no sentiment whatsoever towards kids, I also don't understand why most women love kids. I just want an easy and soft life style. Life is hard enough as it is.
men dont want to be screwed by women in divorce, change the laws and you will see a rise in marriage again.
Yeah see…that mom with all the kids on her lap at the restaurant would be an incredible asset as an employee. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find people who go that extra mile to get it done? Her husband sure doesn’t.
My wife is so much more than a fuckin employee 😂 what a damn joke. Is that what you are getting at? Or did I read that wrong
@@Strongdadlifting I was complementing the women’s ability to multitask. I don’t judge those situations out of context. For all we know all kids prefer to be with mom. Kids wanting to be with mom is also a compliment. People who are good at multitasking tend to be over achievers in corporate settings too. Where did you make the jump to treating wives like employees? Not everyone suffers from brain rot in the comments.
@@alternativetentacles1760 what the hell you going on about?
She's asking for way too little. You permanently alter your body, compromise your health, have to go through a massive amount of pain just to deliver the baby and then are expected to be the primary caretaker of the baby for the rest of their life. If taking care of kids were the better deal, men would've done it ages ago. Instead you have men raging on having to be the primary parent in the rare case they have full time custody, often implemented by their own pettiness. Unless you really want a child yourself and are willing to be the primary caretaker, don't have kids.
LOL! I don't even want grandchildren and never did! 😂😂😂
It's funny, I always wanted to be Mom and Auntie but never Grandma. I was always indifferent to my own children having children because they get to decide what they want for their own lives. Neither wants children of their own and I'm honestly relieved. It's become more dangerous for women to be pregnant these days.
We have extended fertility in my family, BOTH sides, so, I'm 53 and still have a couple of years before I'm even close to menopause.
Only a couple of my friends have grandchildren and I'm not jealous at all, it's more like, "Better you than me, now you'll get old even faster"🤷🏻♀️😂
(We also age slowly in my family).
As much as I wanted my own kids, I've always understood child free ppl. Life isn't "One size fits all". Humans are INDIVIDUALS, with different dreams and needs from life.
Well said. I don't want to be a grandmother either
It’s weird how having a kid as a woman make ppl “scared for you career” but that question never comes up for fathers