I'm glad Letterman got him to tell that joke, if for no other reason that Harrison is an incredible joke-teller, perhaps the best "serious actor" of all time in that regard.
My uncle Phil told me this joke many years ago! It was the first "dirty" joke I had ever heard and my mom did not want me to hear it. This version is fun and reminds me of my dear uncle.
I think the punctuation is wrong in the 2nd sentence. It should be ( spelling changed for YT's recent crackdown on curse words, lol ): "There is no fukkin broccoli"
his line delivery when he's doing aggression is fucking second to none. his entire face animates like no other actor I have ever seen, comedy genius, and acting genious. what a man.
Three men go to a ski lodge and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the bloke on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up and says "Wow, I had a wild dream I was getting a hand job too!" Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamt I was skiing"
I've been telling it since the 70's but the punchline uses strawberries. His wife's parents are from my town - maybe we both heard it from the same person!
This is even worse but it’s by far better ...... What did the policeman say to his belly button?................................... .......................,.,..,.,............................ You’re under a chest , Ha ha told you it was worse xx
That joke deserved an Oscar right there. Star Wars, Indiana Jones... Forget about it. If I come across somebody who doesn't know who Harrison is I'll say "You know, the guy with the broccoli joke."
Harrison Ford on June 30, 2023: How do you spell "more f**k" like in Indiana Jones? There is no "more f**k" in Indiana Jones. That's what I'm trying to tell you, people!!!
I heard a similar one with a young kid, in a butcher shop, asking for lettuce. Except he asks ‘Got any LETTUCE?’. The butcher tells him it’s a butcher shop, no lettuce, go away. Happens again and again. Eventually the butcher gets angry and tells the kid if he comes back and asks again he’s going to nail his feet to the floor. Kid doesn’t come back...for a few days. Sticks his head around the door and says ‘Got any NAILS?’ Butcher is confused and says ‘No’. Kid comes in and says ‘Got any LETTUCE?’
One of my favorite Letterman moments. Right before this Harrison talks about a scar on his head from falling off a horse and then Dave GRABS HIS HEAD and starts rifling through to find the scar! Shocking and hilarious.
The English version goes as follows: Storeman: "How many 'T's in tomato?" Old Lady: "Two" Storeman: "How many 'P's in apple?" Old Lady: "Two" Storeman "Now, how many 'F's in broccoli?" Old Lady: "There's no "F" in broccoli!" Storeman: "That's what I've telling you for last two hours!"
"Academy Award nominated actor" Thanks David, remind me again I have only been nominated once, and not won. I suppose it is better than Blockbuster Award winner. Does that award even exist now that Blockbuster is no more or are the two not related?
"Genius creates; others imitate" ~~cc Stewart-- your posting here is one of the most inspiring thought I have read on YT. Thank you for speaking your truth my fellow human being.
My 8 year old self: teacher i can make you curse. Teacher: no way Me: how does a turtle cross the road on its shell? Teacher: there is no way Me: take the F out of way and you will get the answer Teacher: There is no F in way I was the proudest 8 year old ever
Not as proud as I was when I got the asian kid named Hu to say "what's a first baseman" after asking him if he was a first baseman, and then I said "No, what's a second baseman, I'm asking if Hu's a first baseman".
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
I'm glad Letterman got him to tell that joke, if for no other reason that Harrison is an incredible joke-teller, perhaps the best "serious actor" of all time in that regard.
100% Delivery. Experienced Actor proving his success is no accident.
My uncle Phil told me this joke many years ago! It was the first "dirty" joke I had ever heard and my mom did not want me to hear it. This version is fun and reminds me of my dear uncle.
Harrison Ford saying broccoli is oddly satisfying...
I can't disagree with you
When he started yelling he sounded like Robin Williams
I see what you did there ; well done 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
You could almost say...nutritious
LOL
"how do you spell 'fuck' like in broccoli?"
"there is no 'fuck' in broccoli..."
"That's what i've been trying to tell you!"
Thanks 🙏
We all watched the video
@@rrock2025 you get a golden star for gravediggin'
I think the punctuation is wrong in the 2nd sentence. It should be ( spelling changed for YT's recent crackdown on curse words, lol ):
"There is no fukkin broccoli"
@@georgehenderson7783 wrong. Because the lady is saying the word *"fuck"* isn't *in* the word *"broccoli"*
his line delivery when he's doing aggression is fucking second to none. his entire face animates like no other actor I have ever seen, comedy genius, and acting genious. what a man.
I don't remember him being that animated in Star Wars, perhaps he doesn't like science fiction.
I had to watch it a second time just to focus on his delivery. Epic.
not even playing, but coming out from the inside. He is.
Well we can rule out spieling genius :p
@@jbbolts ideots
Let's be honest, anything Harrison Ford says is awesome.
It's nice to see a joke that uses the "rule of 3's" twice.
Why?
Tim McGee the lady asked him three times and he had the lady spell words three times
You must set the pattern.
@Big Cat Little Lion I thought he used it twice
@Big Cat Little Lion he says it once and she says it once I think. The last line of the joke he doesn't say the f word.
Best. delivery. ever. I could listen to him for days haha
Sparra Lina it's all about the build up of the joke. If he told it too fast it wouldn't have been as funny
I'm with you
@@scaf5363 TIMING
"I wasn't going to tell the joke, honey, but Dave said it was OK."
He sold the punchline like a pro!
anyone else see a little han solo come out at the punchline when he's freaking out about stuff not working on the falcon 🤣
Three men go to a ski lodge and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed.
In the middle of the night, the bloke on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!"
The guy on the left wakes up and says "Wow, I had a wild dream I was getting a hand job too!"
Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamt I was skiing"
An old, old joke that used to be told with tomatoes. But I must say it was well told with broccoli and I didn't see it coming. Very funny
I've been telling it since the 70's but the punchline uses strawberries. His wife's parents are from my town - maybe we both heard it from the same person!
Harrison Ford. My man!
That was outta sight!🤣
And.... f...outta broccoli!
haven't heard that joke in 20 years. it's so bad that it actually cracks me up every time i think about it. priceless humor!
This is even worse but it’s by far better ......
What did the policeman say to his belly button?...................................
.......................,.,..,.,............................
You’re under a chest ,
Ha ha told you it was worse xx
He totally sounds like Steve Martin when he’s yelling the punchline. Good stuff!
Watching Harrison tell a joke is like watching Columbo question a suspect. :D
His enthusiasm is the cherry on the cake of that joke!
Hello friend, how are you doing today? ?
That joke deserved an Oscar right there. Star Wars, Indiana Jones... Forget about it. If I come across somebody who doesn't know who Harrison is I'll say "You know, the guy with the broccoli joke."
"Accademy Award Nominated Actor..." standing up and clapping maybe be best part!
This could be used as a lesson on how to tell a joke perfectly.
Harrison Ford totally reminds me of Steve Martin, especially at the punchline.
There is some Steve Martin there.
Yes!
I've always felt they were related in some capacity.
Harrison is funnier.
And this is why they all love coming over to Graham Norton's show. They can swear on prime time without it being censored.
Harrison Ford on June 30, 2023:
How do you spell "more f**k" like in Indiana Jones?
There is no "more f**k" in Indiana Jones.
That's what I'm trying to tell you, people!!!
The end where he stands up is just brilliant!
Great delivery
Now it might just be me but after hearing this, I would love to work in food produce store and run out of broccoli!!
....works with almost any fruit or veggie
"Indulge me."
I come back to watch this video at least once a week.
I click a "LIKE" on these videos before I watch them. Great shows !
My new favorite joke ever. Thanks Harry!
I can't believe Harrison Ford is such
a great comedian.....
"THERE IS NO FUCK IN BROCCOLI!" He says "THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU LADY!!!"
THERE IS NO FUCK IN BROCCOLI!
I have told that joke several times but, That was a great end...Thank you.
I told this joke to my philosophy teacher during class. He laughed his ass off. I got an A :)
He put more effort into telling this joke than the previous 12 films he's been in.
They almost ruined it just because US television can't handle a simple word like fuck.
I know right
+NeoDerGrose if not for US television then there would be no television. I mean, just a bunch of shitty stuff. You are watching this and so am I.
+Thebluefus Dude what? Pretty much every good US television show is a remake of the English version of it. English tv is waaaaaaaay better.
+roloug95 Fuck yeah. Rule fucking Britannia.
+roloug95 Factually incorrect.
I heard a similar one with a young kid, in a butcher shop, asking for lettuce. Except he asks ‘Got any LETTUCE?’. The butcher tells him it’s a butcher shop, no lettuce, go away. Happens again and again. Eventually the butcher gets angry and tells the kid if he comes back and asks again he’s going to nail his feet to the floor. Kid doesn’t come back...for a few days. Sticks his head around the door and says ‘Got any NAILS?’ Butcher is confused and says ‘No’. Kid comes in and says ‘Got any LETTUCE?’
Why would his wife be mad for telling this joke? It's an awesome joke! :D I'm in love with Harrison Ford since I was 5...
He's the best
That was just for effect and also "soften the blow" (if any) for the 'tea totlers'.
I have never heard that joke before. that was hilarious. that joke was gold
I told that joke at my church. They dont want me to come back for some reason.
Lucky you.
What, they don't like vegetables so much?
@Dick Fageroni There is no fuck in Church...
haha
Fuck them if they can't take a joke.
That's some good delivery.
He's good at telling jokes, I like that.
I LOST IT.....IM IN A QUIET PLACE AND I AM LAUGHING SO HARD I CANNOT BELIEVE IT. THAT JOKE IS GREAT.
you are my favorite actor Harrison Ford you are the best
+Patrick Werth Thank you, I do it for the fans.
+Kellen Hunter-La Voy Your not Harrison Ford
+Ben Smith Anxiety. Not stoned
Was worth coming here for the joke, knew Harrison wouldn't let us down, lol.
There is no fuck in broccili
actors really know how to deliver a joke.
Ive heard this joke a fair few times before lol I used to work in a produce dept and customers used to come up and tell me this joke over and over lol
Love his delivery.
Hello friend, how are you doing today? ?
One of the better jokes I've heard in my life.
What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You’re under a chest !
Ha ha ha . xx
The coolest there will ever be Mr Harrison Ford.
As a piece of brocoli, I can confirm we’re all gone.
Harrison Ford is beyond cool
A standing ovation no less.
most of the charm literally comes from the way harrison says it. brilliant
The comment after Mr. Ford's performance: "Academy Award nominated actor!" gives such a hilarious nuance of the whole piece here. 😄😄😄
I'm just glad he got through it, I was worried
That was great.
I told this joke to my philosophy teacher and he cracked the hell up. I'm pretty sure that's how I get an A in the class
One of my favorite Letterman moments. Right before this Harrison talks about a scar on his head from falling off a horse and then Dave GRABS HIS HEAD and starts rifling through to find the scar! Shocking and hilarious.
Be like Han
...And she waddled away...waddlewaddlewaddlewaddle
The English version goes as follows:
Storeman: "How many 'T's in tomato?"
Old Lady: "Two"
Storeman: "How many 'P's in apple?"
Old Lady: "Two"
Storeman "Now, how many 'F's in broccoli?"
Old Lady: "There's no "F" in broccoli!"
Storeman: "That's what I've telling you for last two hours!"
Not only that, the sound doesn't keep cutting out as you are watching it.
AH! Thank you, I didn't get it when Harrison told it but now I understand it. :)
I have always loved Harrison Ford. He is a natural.
That was the worst best joke I've ever heard. Only Harrison Ford XD
Oldie but a goodie.
He sounds 20 years younger when he finished the joke.
🐼 Big Bear Hugs from a 67 yr old grandma in Kirby, Texas, USA 🐼...
When Harrison yells, is sounds about 30 years younger...but it's not the age. It's the milage.
Hello friend, how are you doing today? ?
2019 whos here with me and still loving it ..
me
that's an awful joke
but brilliant delivery
gotta love harrison ford
I think this is the best joke i've ever heard.
"Academy Award nominated actor" Thanks David, remind me again I have only been nominated once, and not won. I suppose it is better than Blockbuster Award winner. Does that award even exist now that Blockbuster is no more or are the two not related?
Just think how mad he would get if he'd been asked; ".....does this piece of junk even run?"😮😊😅😂
I don't know if I liked the joke because it's funny or because Harrison Ford told it!
He knows it's the network's choice to broadcast what they want and what they don't want. He was questioning this exact thing.
we miss you dave
This is a variation of the "freaking fries" joke.
OHHHH! i get it! ha!! should have been uncensored
Wow. I can’t stop laughing. This is hilarious!!!!!
It helps when you have a band to back you up too.
Even Indiana Jones can't win a fight with his wife...
hahahah!!! That was awesome.
I gotta admit that was a funny-ass joke man.
That joke is older than him.
An oldie, but still a goodie!
Oh, there's no f*** in broccoli not f***in broccoli
That was the joke
the fuck in sounds so close to fucking
People who nit pick language never get the joke. They’re too busy Obsessing over stupid crap to you understand what humor is.
"Genius creates; others imitate"
~~cc
Stewart-- your posting here is one of the most inspiring thought I have read on YT. Thank you for speaking your truth my fellow human being.
My 8 year old self: teacher i can make you curse.
Teacher: no way
Me: how does a turtle cross the road on its shell?
Teacher: there is no way
Me: take the F out of way and you will get the answer
Teacher: There is no F in way
I was the proudest 8 year old ever
Not as proud as I was when I got the asian kid named Hu to say "what's a first baseman" after asking him if he was a first baseman, and then I said "No, what's a second baseman, I'm asking if Hu's a first baseman".
How many years did you have to repeat that year!😂😅❤🎉
That joke is not quite as bad as I expected. I actually quite like it.
Laughed so hard me pingus fell off me dingus
Soul Chief hyh funny anus
my problem with this joke is... Ill never tell it as good as Harrison Ford
What the fuck is the word they censored, i don't get the joke cause they fucking censored it
i guess its a fuckin mystery
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
achillesdeniz hahaaaa!!
Love Harrison Ford!
Wonder why Letterman needs his chair so much higher than Ford! 😆
He'll always be Han Solo to me.
You can tell Harrison ford looks a bit uncomfortable there, his ass is still
best joke ever.
So you can now comment before the vidz are released? :3