The desert remembers nothing.

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  • Опубліковано 29 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 129

  • @RallyDriver427
    @RallyDriver427 14 днів тому +36

    You thoughts and videos were basically my life for 30 years beginning in middle school. Good family, successful at work and a hobby I was really into, but otherwise crippled by social anxiety. No real friends, just acquaintances, lonely, depressed. My anxiety began to fade as I cared less and less over the years, but my social life remained non-existent. Then at 42, after I had accepted my lot in life a coworker introduced me to her cousin. We were a true match and amazingly she gave me the chance for that to become clear to us both. Married at 43, beautiful daughter at 46. I still struggle socially, but the perspective I have keeps me trying to do my best. I truly hope you find what you are looking for and it gives you peace.

    • @aaronsjournal139
      @aaronsjournal139  13 днів тому +6

      @RallyDriver427 that's great, glad to hear you still ended up finding someone and making a life together, even if later than expected.

    • @brianmeen2158
      @brianmeen2158 15 годин тому

      ⁠@@aaronsjournal139 I do think there is hope for us in finding someone . That said Aaron, can you picture having a kid? I honestly cannot . The social battery required would just zap me(I think).. I honestly don’t know though but I’ve tried dating single mothers and I realized pretty quickly it wasn’t going to work .. for various reasons

  • @vegandolls
    @vegandolls 14 днів тому +25

    Gorgeous landscape. The desert doesn't need to remember because it always has the right now

    • @ilovevegandolls
      @ilovevegandolls 14 днів тому +1

      i know what you're doing in the desert. i saw the movie pet semetary. u put lonely incel men in the dolls united and they came out like timmy batterman

    • @roosaas
      @roosaas 14 днів тому +1

      @@ilovevegandolls What is the point of your message in the context of Aaron’s channel and its content?

    • @mattdestroyer77
      @mattdestroyer77 13 днів тому

      Desert wisdom.

  • @Not_a_smart_man
    @Not_a_smart_man 14 днів тому +31

    Aaron, if there is any respite to your life, at least you have been able to do some tenants of being an adult. Living on your own, driving, having the ambition to make a YT channel, go to the gym, make music and all that.
    I relate to so much about what you talk about in these videos. I’ve never been diagnosed with autism, mostly because I’ve never tried. Never been to therapy, or gotten medication.But I’m in my early 30s and I feel the same utter hopelessness that you feel. Being so far behind, feeling like a spectator to life. I have no relationships, no fruitful career, don’t even drive and live at home. Your story about Hawaii really resonated with me, because whenever I am out doing anything, all I think about is how everyone else is with their friends/gf/wives/children and I’m just alone. It makes me even more miserable. Where even someone doing something nice for you like your mom taking out you out on your 30th, and to Hawaii, we can only look at the negatives of it. I don’t have any siblings to compare myself to, unlike you, but ironically being an only child is pretty isolating on its own and potentially had a hand in me ending up like this.
    The constant defeatism. Thinking about all the wasted years. Knowing that you’re the only one who can pull yourself out of this but knowing that you’re incapable of doing it. Thinking of all the things you need to do to fix yourself but not seeing the point. Not thinking you would live this long. Being middle aged and still being at the starting point feeling like you were ill equipped to live. Can’t relate to your peers because of a lack of experiences. I feel all of these feelings, almost every minute of every day all I think about is how I’ve wasted my entire life, how ashamed I am, how humiliated I am, how regretful I am, how miserable I am.
    Sorry for worthless blogposting and crapping up your video comment section. It’s good to see you back.

    • @aaronsjournal139
      @aaronsjournal139  14 днів тому +12

      @@Not_a_smart_man this guy gets it. It's not an easy hand to play.

    • @brianmeen2158
      @brianmeen2158 13 днів тому +6

      I hear and understand you OP and can relate to much of what you said .. the question I’m left with is what do guys in our position do to change it? Aaron brings up that he’s going to try going out more socially and that will help but every time I have done that - I am hit with reminders of how deficient I am socially(very low social battery) or how different my lifestyle(and life experience) is compared to others. So getting out is good but it always felt like I was putting 1 step forwards but taking one step backwards . It’s just so much more complicated than just simply throwing ourselves out socially although I wish it wasn’t
      Here I am and feel drained again. I will have to force myself to go shopping later on. My social battery these days is usually on E and I have no idea what to do about it either …

    • @aaronsjournal139
      @aaronsjournal139  13 днів тому +4

      @brianmeen2158 many of the times I force myself out, I experience the same thing. I try to push through it, but it drains me. But then its like, what other options are there, really? Volunteer somewhere, where it'll likely be apparent why I'm there?

    • @aaronsjournal139
      @aaronsjournal139  13 днів тому +5

      @brianmeen2158 you know, I always appreciate your comments. Just thought you should know. You often articulate these issues, experiences, struggles, better than I could.

    • @brianmeen2158
      @brianmeen2158 13 днів тому +2

      @@aaronsjournal139Aaron the appreciation goes both ways! You are one of very few people that I’m aware of that shared so many of the same struggles as I do. Same age bracket, similar wasteland of a past, autism, above average looking and fit, feelings of strangeness around people that never goes away etc etc .. I totally get the struggles but just wish I had practical solutions

  • @unclebozo9845
    @unclebozo9845 14 днів тому +32

    you're lucky to have a living grandparent in your late 40s, very few people can say they do. I was in high school when my last one died.

    • @brianmeen2158
      @brianmeen2158 13 днів тому +3

      Agree and this is one area Aaron lacks - he fails to see the positive things he does have. All he sees are the things he doesn’t have and this mindset is a road to complete misery. I guarantee you that women can pick up on this negative energy from Aaron too .. perhaps he does need SSRIs ..? Or therapy of some sort

    • @mattdestroyer77
      @mattdestroyer77 13 днів тому +5

      ​@brianmeen2158 you try going your entire life without romance and see how you go.

    • @brianmeen2158
      @brianmeen2158 16 годин тому +1

      @@mattdestroyer77 no I totally get Aaron’s mindset as mine is similar - I am a pessimist too but recently I’ve been trying to see the things I do have instead of focusing on what I don’t. Through the years I only saw the things I didn’t have and it made me depressed and bitter. No way to live. That said, it’s easier said than done because when you are empty, tired and unfulfilled it’s hard to think you have much to be thankful for

  • @SOak145
    @SOak145 14 днів тому +14

    I appreciate you making these videos Aaron, they help me immensely in more ways than one, so thanks man.

  • @JamesMorrison-hw1hc
    @JamesMorrison-hw1hc 13 днів тому +16

    The studies I have seen on autism are very brutal. Most will remain single, very few will marry. Non-autistics make a negative judgement on autistic people within the first few seconds of meeting them and this doesn't change after getting to know the autistic person, their judgement is set in stone. Lower quality of life and happiness, lower life expectancy, it goes on and on.

    • @aaronsjournal139
      @aaronsjournal139  13 днів тому +11

      @@JamesMorrison-hw1hc ya, I've seen studies indicating the same statistics. It's less than encouraging.

    • @RhodeIslandSucks
      @RhodeIslandSucks 12 днів тому

      You'll never think about women again on ssris.

    • @williamread8186
      @williamread8186 7 днів тому +2

      Yes it is true. I am part of the club 😢. I am almost 68 and wonder if I am on borrowed time now from a longevity standpoint.

    • @brianmeen2158
      @brianmeen2158 15 годин тому

      Yeah I’ve seen studies on autistics and came away feeling very discouraged. Thankfully there is more awareness of autism today but sadly, for folks like Aaron and myself - it really didn’t prevent the almost inevitable social alienation and detachment that comes with it

  • @RaineErasmusWalker
    @RaineErasmusWalker 14 днів тому +8

    Hi Aaron. I am happy you still have the strength to keep going, after everything you've been through in the past years. I felt relieved to see you uploaded again.
    I will binge your new videos this weekend. I just dropped by to tell you I think you are a beautiful person and you have a beautiful soul. I hope we can meet and be friends in another life.
    Greetings from Europe
    Your fan, Raine

  • @gamedev4032
    @gamedev4032 4 дні тому

    It's good that you've places of refuge, and I like how you said that it's not a place of loneliness for you. I haven't been able to cry in years and I'm not sure if I ever will be able to feel intense emotions like that again. The desert may not remember you, but we will. Good luck out there!

  • @OneSingleCheezIt
    @OneSingleCheezIt 13 днів тому +4

    I wish I had watched all your old videos, but as someone interested in becoming a truck driver, I’d love to hear your experiences, especially being on the spectrum.

  • @Depressed-Unwanted-Man
    @Depressed-Unwanted-Man 14 днів тому +14

    Without somebody nothing ain't worth a dime -alan Jackson

    • @ilovevegandolls
      @ilovevegandolls 14 днів тому

      i posted a comment to him, DUM

    • @terrorsquadlith
      @terrorsquadlith 13 днів тому +1

      James, take him with you next time you go to Australia, maybe introduce him to some women there

    • @Depressed-Unwanted-Man
      @Depressed-Unwanted-Man 13 днів тому

      @terrorsquadlith he's more than welcome

  • @SOak145
    @SOak145 14 днів тому +8

    I'm kind of becoming more and more self-isolatonist too to be honest recently

    • @brianmeen2158
      @brianmeen2158 15 годин тому

      I caution isolating too much.. I know Aaron would too

  • @laneysatm
    @laneysatm 13 днів тому +9

    I think its modern society that is creating this. All the younger generations are recluses, nobody goes outside anymore, nobody dates, nobody has friends, everyone is lonely and online all the time

    • @brianmeen2158
      @brianmeen2158 15 годин тому

      “Everyone is lonely”
      That isn’t true at all though.. go out socially and you will see many couples that seem content. Seriously try to reduce your time online and stay away from red and black pill content

  • @Endymion766
    @Endymion766 14 днів тому +8

    appreciate these updates
    hope you're doing ok

  • @mondoenterprises6710
    @mondoenterprises6710 13 днів тому +2

    That's nice about the quilt and that your family heard you and that you had that moment.

  • @talex1625
    @talex1625 14 днів тому +15

    You say you have friends and family, that in itself is such a blessing. And your health! Never take that for granted. You sound depressed to me, though, so down and unhappy and so, so focused on finding that perfect 'someone'. I think you need to try and find a way to shift your focus, even if only a little because miserable is not attractive.

    • @brianmeen2158
      @brianmeen2158 13 днів тому +2

      I think he realizes he has his physical health intact but that he’s 46 and realizes what’s around the corner for him.. Aaron is intelligent and aware but like many of us - also a pessimist. I’m honestly not sure if one can change into an optimist . I’ve heard that most of our outlook on life is formed by the time we turn 6-7 .. ouch

    • @ModelJames13
      @ModelJames13 10 днів тому

      @@brianmeen2158 Life forms our outlook. If things had turned out better for him and a lot of us I'm sure we wouldn't be labeled as pessimists. 😎

    • @brianmeen2158
      @brianmeen2158 15 годин тому

      ⁠@@ModelJames13I think pessimism is more to do with one’s genetics and less to do with real world data and results. It truly seems we are hard wired to be optimistic or pessimistic - really nervous or really calm or in between. Most people with anxiety of course tend to be more pessimistic
      One problem many of us have is we consume too much red and black pill content . We watch content that talks about how terrible dating and women aren’t- the comment sections overflow with bitterness and toxicity … it is really warping many peoples minds

    • @ModelJames13
      @ModelJames13 10 годин тому

      @@brianmeen2158 Have you tried dating women in recent years though? They are terrible, it wasn't black pill that taught me that it was women and life. 😎

  • @snowcloudshinobi
    @snowcloudshinobi 14 днів тому +3

    i'm glad you're feeling better, man. it probably helps more than you'd think to talk about it!

  • @ek6919
    @ek6919 14 днів тому +4

    I agree Aaron. I live in a big city. There is so much noise pollution I never seem to get a moment of silence.

  • @godfriedgeel
    @godfriedgeel 13 днів тому +4

    I have a girlfriend, but I still feel like that "strange guy" every day. A girlfriend that will be with you 24 hours per day, will see all your quirks.

  • @nothingchannel6699
    @nothingchannel6699 14 днів тому +3

    From the UK here and our free healthcare doesn't do therapy generally. It's hard to access anything like diagnosis for autism and adhd too.
    Love the desert scene there. If I had blue skies every day I'd be way happier.

  • @jimdarhower4945
    @jimdarhower4945 14 днів тому +3

    U can get SSRI’s through a regular family doctor if you want to go that route. You can get them through online providers as well. Without insurance I pay like 40 bucks for the “consultation” and like 15 bucks for a 2 month prescription. Going through a general practitioner with insurance it was maybe 40 dollars. SSRI’s aren’t a magic pill but they help me get through the days. Having a different mindset is key. They are helpful for some people and not for others.

  • @mariocondello2353
    @mariocondello2353 8 днів тому +3

    As a fellow Autist, I just think to myself: You're good looking, have an amazing physique and still can't get laid. What hope is there for us less attractive Autists. A rhetorical question!

    • @aaronsjournal139
      @aaronsjournal139  8 днів тому +3

      @mariocondello2353 part of my issue is that I'm rarely in situations where there are available women, so I'm not meeting anyone new.

    • @godfriedgeel
      @godfriedgeel 8 днів тому

      @@aaronsjournal139 Meetups are indeed sausage fests, but lots of hobby activities, like music school, have more women than men.

    • @brianmeen2158
      @brianmeen2158 15 годин тому

      Guys remember women aren’t as shallow as men - they want a guy that looks decent but they look at much more than just the physical.. how a guy walks - how he speaks and treats others - is he charismatic and engaging? Is he a good listener ? Too many guys focus too much on looks and they let it dent their mind
      A guy can be great looking but if he autism and struggles with eye contact, small talk and has high anxiety or very low energy - it will repel women .

    • @brianmeen2158
      @brianmeen2158 15 годин тому

      @@godfriedgeelmusic school? What is that?

  • @OneSingleCheezIt
    @OneSingleCheezIt 13 днів тому +1

    I wish you’d bring back your old videos, but I’ll continue listening as long as you continue talking 😊

  • @TheNordicMan
    @TheNordicMan 13 днів тому +4

    Nice to see you back, Aaron! Great views!
    I recently started on SSRIs. Cant't really say I feel much difference... and as is common my sex drive has pretty much disappeared. My problem, and yours, isn't some chemichal imbalance but loneliness and growing hopelessness due to social isolation. No pill for that. But maybe talk therapy might be good for you.

    • @Not_a_smart_man
      @Not_a_smart_man 13 днів тому

      I guess the ssri question then becomes, would ssris make you less depressed and happier, which would potentially make others more willing to come to you, and therefore make you less lonely

  • @CombraStudios
    @CombraStudios 11 днів тому +1

    Thanks for these

  • @daabee236
    @daabee236 13 днів тому +3

    Not sure a ssri will help. Maybe adderal. I wish I had never taken it because you can’t come back off of them easily.
    Btw I had to google misanthrope lol
    I’m always wishing you well man. I wish we could all find our friends or community closer to home.
    Loneliness is an epidemic and I wish I could fix it.

  • @brianmeen2158
    @brianmeen2158 15 годин тому

    Also Aaron when you mention SsRIs to take for depression - I’ve had a mixed bag of experiences on them. I’ve taken various ssris and snris and each helped in ways about also caused other issues. On SsRIs they definitely dampened my depression and anxiety(my moods wouldn’t sink as low as normal when I got depressed) but at the same time they tended to make me a bit lethargic and borderline apathetic. I tend to struggle with motivating myself to get out socially as is and on SSRIs I often felt content to just sit home and exercise or walk my dogs .. plus they dampened my sex drive too which I didn’t like .. so it’s honestly hard to recommend them but at the same time I wouldn’t discourage their use
    Btw you don’t need a therapist to get a script for ssris .. your primary doctor can prescribe them - I actually saw a psychiatrist and I told her exactly how I felt and I walked out with 3 prescriptions .. I literally talked to her for 20 minutes and she prescribed what she thought would help
    Hope this helps

  • @williamread8186
    @williamread8186 7 днів тому

    I wish I could get to meet you because I can relate to your life’s story. I am almost 68 now and still working. Many non autistic people push this idea that looks are the most important aspect to social connections and I always push back hard on that. I would rank looks as number 3 with personality and charisma as easily number 1 and talent and capabilities as number 2. Being autistic I am really bad at 1 and 2. I work out a lot so 3 is definitely my best personal asset but I can tell you as you have shared, it doesn’t come anywhere near compensating for my personality and capability deficits. I congratulate you on your you tube success. I have been trying it myself regularly for over a year and failing miserably. I am a really poor speaker though.

    • @brianmeen2158
      @brianmeen2158 15 годин тому

      Agree. I am in great physical shape and can attract women fairly easily - I have pretty good social skills and can read people well BUT it takes so much energy to not only start but maintain conversations. An hour of socializing can leave me quite drained where I will need the rest of the night to recharge . How do you maintain relationships with this handicap? It feels impossible

  • @Amber24426
    @Amber24426 День тому +1

    I know a lot of people here are trying to dissuade you from SSRIs, but I would encourage you to consider them or at least see if they or another medication might be a viable option for you. Obviously we are all different, but I finally decided to try antidepressants after a lifetime of suffering from severe anxiety and increasingly crippling depression and for me, they have already proven to be a lifesaver.
    Am I totally “fixed” now? Absolutely not. However, I can’t help but wonder if I could’ve spared myself from my almost life-ending rock bottom had I been willing to try medication years sooner.

    • @aaronsjournal139
      @aaronsjournal139  22 години тому +1

      Yeah, a lot of people in this corner of UA-cam seem to be very distrustful of the pharmaceutical industry and experts, I've noticed (I do not share that distrust).

    • @brianmeen2158
      @brianmeen2158 10 годин тому

      @@aaronsjournal139yeah it’s hard trusting UA-cam comment sections as they are often echo chambers of various types of thinking - some of which is beyond toxic .. much of the red and black pill space is like that
      As for ssris I typed another longer comment under this video about my experiences with them ..

  • @BrianWaller-qe7gr
    @BrianWaller-qe7gr 14 днів тому +2

    The only thing worst than being alone is someone playing mind games with you. I tried dating someone but the ignored me so I went no contact for over 18 months and then texted twice then blocked me. At this point I’m moving on. Can’t deal with the carrot dangling in my face. It’s insulting

  • @OneSingleCheezIt
    @OneSingleCheezIt 13 днів тому +1

    Get one of those “dead cat” microphones for your desert vloggings 😉

  • @yokomortel6479
    @yokomortel6479 14 днів тому +1

    I don’t know where you live, but is there greenery near by? Like more trees and vegetation? Anyways, nice hearing from you again!! I have had similar feelings/ outlook.. I am turning 46 this year and have no prospects, but I have also not been actively looking. Maybe I have given up… I am a single Mom, so that keeps me going, but once the nest is empty, what do I do? I am really feeling the middle age… It’s not easy. I think it’s good that you were able to cry in front of your Dad. Our parents can be reminded that we are human, too. I found my headphones! I am going to start back up tracking my calories/ meals and ease my way back to the gym 😊 Hope you have a great week, Aaron!!

    • @aaronsjournal139
      @aaronsjournal139  13 днів тому

      I'm in NV, and yeah, there are mountains to the west which I also enjoy. Might do a hike video going up through where it becomes forest. There tends to be more people up there though, which makes it more challenging to record videos.
      Yeah, without kids to give a sense of purpose, or to be there in my later years if I'm still here, I have a growing unease and uncertainty.

  • @BuzzKirill3D
    @BuzzKirill3D 14 днів тому +3

    Instant like

  • @meganlutz7150
    @meganlutz7150 14 днів тому +7

    You sound more energetic which is nice to hear. Therapy and meds would be a good idea. When you’re mentally clouded it can be hard to move forward. You sound like you’re trying to take responsibility and “fight your own battle “ which is the right attitude. You can do this.

  • @jameskirk2579
    @jameskirk2579 13 днів тому +1

    A Horse with no name. USA are a beautifull coutnry. Take care !

  • @lisastevens105
    @lisastevens105 13 днів тому +9

    Aaron, please hang in there. Your life is worth living with or without a partner. There are many people like you. You have an online community that cares about you. May I make one suggestion? Have you ever thought about signing up for dating sites for people with autism/Asperger? You might have some luck there and find someone who can relate to you.Keep posting videos!Lovely scenery.

    • @mattdestroyer77
      @mattdestroyer77 13 днів тому +1

      It would probably be just as bad if not worse than normie dating sites.

  • @godfriedgeel
    @godfriedgeel 9 днів тому +1

    Whenever Aaron is not on replying on this channel, I wonder is he is still alive

  • @brianmeen2158
    @brianmeen2158 15 годин тому

    3:00 see Aaron this is one issue I constantly run into - your family member(who only wants the best for you btw) said he wished you could find a partner .. I’m sure he meant no
    I’ll will by the comment but I totally get why you took it the way you do. Very similar things happen when
    I’m with family or around co-workers - they will say things that are pretty mild on the surface about relationships or their experiences and it will hit me hard and get me to realize how much I’ve missed out on and how rather deficient I am(in terms of lifestyle and life experience) .. yesterday I was with my brother and numerous comments left me feeling like shit and my brother is a good guy only making conversation. A few weeks ago I was looking at old pictures with family and I honestly had to stop as I was with hard with my past and the passage of time. The energy I once had as a youth and small hopes that are sadly not there anymore .
    So ultimately Aaron, I get it completely but this is one of those things that tends to keep reinforcing my solitude . So what do we do? Any fresh ideas? This is to anyone that may have ideas

  • @mitzy47
    @mitzy47 13 днів тому +2

    Omg u should def move to Hawaii! Could u live with your grandad?

  • @Grand_Rizzard104
    @Grand_Rizzard104 11 днів тому +1

    There's a zero percent chance that your health insurance is crappier than mine. My therapy coverage is $30 for an hour session, which is less than some people pay when buying McSlop burgers. If it's important to you, you'll figure out a way to budget it.

  • @LorryHill
    @LorryHill 13 днів тому

    Happy to hear you are considering therapy and possibly SSRIS (Lexapro is great for motivation; of course speak to a Dr lol) best of luck !

  • @steelearmstrong9616
    @steelearmstrong9616 14 днів тому +14

    I cannot see how therapy will help you. Therapy does not work for intelligent logical individuals like yourself. It’s generally works great for females but not so much males. Most of your problems come from you knowing the truth about life and understanding the biology of how humans operate. You understand that life is meaningless regardless of what meaning and purpose you give it. The meaning of life is whatever it is that you choose for it to be and success is whatever it is that makes you happy. Once you get closer to 50, you start feeling less and less happier regardless of how positive you are and what old folks say. There is nothing great about getting old except wisdom. Getting close to nature and animals helps but even then the suffering is still there

    • @aaronsjournal139
      @aaronsjournal139  14 днів тому +4

      @@steelearmstrong9616 you make very good points.

    • @di115
      @di115 14 днів тому +3

      therapy is 80% of the time a useless cope

    • @ilovevegandolls
      @ilovevegandolls 14 днів тому

      @@aaronsjournal139 Todd's advice has been to stay away from the mental health system

    • @roosaas
      @roosaas 14 днів тому

      Weird to assume that women aren’t capable of logical reasoning and thinking. I know many smart women who are even more logical than many men out there. I am very logical and analytical person myself.

    • @koneking2569
      @koneking2569 14 днів тому +6

      Therapy is still worth a try, a proper physcologist not a therapist. It has helped put me on the right track but ultimately you have to put in the work.

  • @adamweishaupt7074
    @adamweishaupt7074 13 днів тому

    I live out where the lakes are dry. ua-cam.com/video/-PkBH5iucoI/v-deo.html

  • @TalesofGore337
    @TalesofGore337 13 днів тому +3

    lol if u had universal healthcare u would be in a far worse position

    • @aaronsjournal139
      @aaronsjournal139  13 днів тому +1

      @@TalesofGore337 you think so? How is it in your country?

    • @TalesofGore337
      @TalesofGore337 13 днів тому +2

      @ In Canada it would take a year to get a depression diagnosis and get on medicine. Universally everyone is in the same spot in the medical line hence the name

    • @brianmeen2158
      @brianmeen2158 10 годин тому

      @@TalesofGore337yep that’s what a friend I have tells me .. people think of universal healthcare and that it means “free healthcare for everyone” which is true in some way.. like you said though, it’s often not good healthcare .. then again, in America it costs so much money to get good treatment and you then many come out of it broke ..

  • @CheekClapper69420
    @CheekClapper69420 7 днів тому +2

    Sup Aaron! I'm a fellow brother on the spectrum, 37y old. Going through a breakup atm, 4 month relationship, thought i finally had found someone who would try to understand, nope. She monkeybranched to a rich guy (she's rich herself, so i can understand... Doesn't hurt any less 😂)
    Anyway, she helped me kick a 10y usage of an SSRI and a sleep aid hypnotic... After the withdraw effects from the drugs (and her) went away, it feels like a veil has been lifted and I'm finally in control of myself and my life
    Don't go into SSRIs bro, they'll only mask and make you numb...i know the negative feelings going numb is a good thing, but it also numbs the good feelings and give you a brain fog, and it's a nightmare to get off of them... Withdraw effects range is pretty big
    My dose was very minimal,i can only imagine the hell it would have been if they were higher...

    • @aaronsjournal139
      @aaronsjournal139  7 днів тому

      @CheekClapper69420 hey, I remember that name well, lol. Good to see you here again. Sorry to hear of your relationship failure. File it away in the "experience" drawer, I guess.

  • @SOak145
    @SOak145 14 днів тому

    Thirst
    (apt comment really considering the video setting lol)

  • @adkjshaksdhsajhdkjhds2323
    @adkjshaksdhsajhdkjhds2323 14 днів тому +3

    You could do it in Hawaii but don't you can't anchor your hope on change strictly on a changing environment.

    • @Not_a_smart_man
      @Not_a_smart_man 14 днів тому +6

      Especially in a place like Hawaii that’s so expensive, and extremely isolated, and you have to be concerned about jobs as well. Obviously Hawaii is a great state, very beautiful with lots of natural wonders. But paradise isn’t always paradise.

    • @aaronsjournal139
      @aaronsjournal139  13 днів тому +3

      @adkjshaksdhsajhdkjhds2323 the main thing I like about Hawaii is the slower pace of life. There are fewer people, they aren't generally in as much of a hurry, they're friendlier, it's just so much more of a chill vibe than I'm used to. The beach towns like Kona are big and touristy enough yet without the bigger city issues. And of course the weather is always inviting one to go out. I think if my social circle falls apart here, I very well may just say screw it and try Kona for a while.

    • @Not_a_smart_man
      @Not_a_smart_man 13 днів тому +2

      @@aaronsjournal139 Aaron not trying to discourage you from that, Hawaii is definitely an idyllic place and I think the people are probably the happiest in America. But I’ve heard that it’s also a tough place to live too. You’re completely isolated to the state unless you get expensive plane tickets, cost of living, rent, and buying anything is extremely expensive, and jobs can be difficult because so much of it is centered around tourism. I’m not one of the “job and money is all that matters” people but those are some things that can make it a negative experience. There’s a big difference between visiting there for a week or two and living there permanently. I’ve also heard that locals are not that welcoming to “expats”, meaning mainlanders especially white people who want to live there.
      It might be easier for people like us who have no strings attaching us to family and bustling careers and huge social networks in our mainland areas, but Hawaii is definitely a place you should heavily research before doing any sort of permanent move therez

    • @tammyweeks5609
      @tammyweeks5609 5 днів тому

      @@aaronsjournal139If you’re ever on Oahu, you should do my favorite hike with me. People in Hawaii are super friendly and welcoming. I have called this home for 20 years now

  • @kartthekart1876
    @kartthekart1876 5 днів тому

    You ALWAYS have an excuse!

    • @aaronsjournal139
      @aaronsjournal139  5 днів тому

      @kartthekart1876 wouldn't be the first time I've heard that, lol. What specifically are you referring to in this video?

  • @jcransome5616
    @jcransome5616 14 днів тому +2

    Wish you well

  • @WeShareTheSameAffliction
    @WeShareTheSameAffliction 14 днів тому +3

    Once you find her, do you think it will make all the pain "worth" it? I feel like you're so close! 🥹

    • @di115
      @di115 14 днів тому +4

      stop gaslighting the man, this isn’t the great gatsby where if he runs faster and faster one day he’s magically outrun his autism

    • @talex1625
      @talex1625 14 днів тому +11

      I don't think it will be the 'cure all' he thinks it will.

    • @terrorsquadlith
      @terrorsquadlith 13 днів тому +2

      loneliness is a curse and I feel like most of Aaron's problems are because of that..

    • @brianmeen2158
      @brianmeen2158 10 годин тому

      @@talex1625 I think you are right. So many single people think if they could just get into a relationship that they will become happy - this is rarely the case. At first the endorphin boost feels great but eventually
      That settles down and problems start popping up .. this goes triple for men with autism - the odds of a relationship between an autistic man and neurotypical woman working out is very slim - most experts would admit that .. sooo then that leaves us autistic men to do what? Give up? Try to find a woman with autism? Where are they at?

    • @brianmeen2158
      @brianmeen2158 10 годин тому

      @@terrorsquadlith sure much of Aaron’s pain is due to loneliness and a relationship would soothe that.. however the social and emotional demands of a relationship are very extreme and for those of us with autism? Even harder .. I don’t think Aaron realizes just how difficult it is to navigate a modern relationship in middle age when you have little to no relationship experience