happy friday!! will post the storytime on my patreon later today. subscribe, like, share with a friend if you can! see you guys next week!! EDIT: it’s up!
i totally resonate with the "happily single" back to "yearning for romance" and feeling like you've regressed... then again, healing isn't linear or whatever they say, and in every new romantic interest that comes into your life you learn a LOT about yourself. so cheers to self growth, no matter how painful 🥹 all the best, im rooting for you!!
i relate a lot to what dustin said about crying over yourself and not the person you liked. there have been many times in my life where i tried to put myself in a romantic situation- i stepped out of my comfort zone. and in the end, i was the one who liked them and they didn’t like me back in that way (only saw me as a friend). it hurts a lot. i’ve cried over myself because i was so disappointed that i fell for it again. hearing dustin talk about it was really comforting.
I’m going through a similar thing, except I actually never have real, romantic interest, I just kinda delude myself into believing I do because… I want to experience romance and being in a relationship. That, and the guys who say they’re interested in me, tend to focus on one thing in particular (you can guess what) which turns me off the idea of relationships as a whole. After I block them and have a period of growth, I’m always convinced that I’ve… outgrown romance and that I’m okay on my own, that I’m confident enough without attention from other people. But then I get reeled in again because I become delusional and romanticise nearly everything. *Sigh* Dustin, it’s rough when you’re a lover at heart.
Oh gosh are we the same person hello?! You just put into words exactly my feelings!! Like you, I also want to experience romance and even fantasize about it often (embarrassing lol) but then when someone does show interest, I kind of..:run away lol. Also, I’m pretty sure I’m asexual and as a straight woman trying to navigate modern dating THAT is a struggle so I’ve just kind of given up on finding a partner and hope I find a life best friend to live with or something lol
@@atzirimarquez3347 we MIGHT be the same person. Although, I’m not asexual, it’s just… I don’t like sex talk all the time, especially as a virgin, and especially before I really know someone.
Hi, I feel like I went through something similar in my teens/younger twenties. I think there was a shifting point when I decided to see other people’s choices as a projection of themselves and not necessarily a comment on who I am. Like whether they rejected me or not it was speaking more on who they are versus if I was loveable/attractive/dateable/fun enough or not. Hope that made sense! Never lose hope, I know love is out there in so many ways shapes and forms just waiting for you ❤
Well you don’t know that. Not everyone will talk to you, and you probably haven’t told everyone you liked that you feel that way. Plus I realized with time sometimes we’re single because we don’t need to be with anyone. A certain level of dedication to health in all areas and life goals can make us better to ourselves and better to people so yeah keep not taking it to heart but also remember crushes aren’t love. Not every relationship is either. That’s deep commitment like someone gets disabled and you can still handle that person being in your life because you didn’t choose them for their abilities. Or deciding to get through good and bad times together, not with codependency, but with maturity where you accept there’s times you’re not always gonna be infatuated with one another or maybe someone has a job opportunity and you have to decide if you’re moving together without bitterness or if one is staying behind depending on some factors-can you brave that? That’s love. Not just being into someone. That fades eventually and requires creativity. So remember sometimes you may want to take time to consider what it is you actually want and then pursue or don’t accordingly. Be brave and open to different types of people. And accepting of their feelings as not personal. When you’re ready 😊
I’m 22 now and have never even experienced a talking stage. I’m kind of tired of seeing my friends move from one person to another. I’m happy for them, don’t get me wrong, but it makes me wonder if there’s something wrong with me. I get compliments from many people, but no one wants to pursue anything with me. I feel like a doll-beautiful on the outside but too boring to keep around. No matter how hard I try to stop expecting love, I always find myself hoping and rethinking even the smallest interactions. At the end of the day, I have friends, but they’ve all gotten into healthy relationships. I feel a bit desperate as they’ve started excluding me because I’m single, using it as an excuse to leave me behind. Maybe I’m unlovable, and I just have to accept it even my friends leave me in the end
those are not good friends if they leave you out! remember that it’s okay to live life independently and there’s so many other things that life has to offer other than romantic love! I think it’s very easy to harp on it as the entire world seems to put romantic love on such a high pedestal.
No ! Literally!! i felt the crying part because i completely understand being stuck in a cycle , in my case it’s like everytime i think a guy actually likes me they prove to me they were only just there for my body and they actually don’t care about me at all. not my thoughts, not my dreams , not my hopes, not my hobbies. just my body. and i cried one night after confirming this guy that i was messing with was talking to other girls. i cried. not necessarily because i really cared for him but more because i was sad because nobody has actually showed they have genuinely liked me and i’m always stuck in the cycle and it led me to remaining abstinent and changing the responses i have with guys. i have a much clearer head now but it still sucks cus i want ROMANCE BADDDDDDDDD but like i’m not gonna settle for the sake of myself. but man mourning that idea is definitely soo real. YOU ARE SO REAL. you get me so much🩷 i’m sorry that u felt those emotions but i’m glad u shared ur story !! love youuu dustinnnn
what i've seen another youtuber do not so long ago is a year of no dating. no apps, no otherthinking about potential relationships. and it really helped her set her priorities and become confident in being alone while still valuing her romantic side. as a viewer, i noticed that it changed her a lot for the better (the youtuber is maddie dragsbaek btw). so maybe that's something to think about as well
Just give it time Dustin. I think you're a really great person who has really great intentions behind everything he does and so with time I think everything will fall into place keep your head up man ❤
When you said in your video that I feel like I just give friend vibes I completely relate because my first relationship was like that and he was all like oh do you want to be friends and I was like no like we were just romantic how can I go back so I can definitely relate
YOU ARE LOVEABLE!! you gotta give yourself credit for being creative, musical, fashionable, super great at taking cute vlogs, keeping plants alive etc...there's so much to love about yourself!! and whoever doesn't see that in you, that's their problem, and they don't deserve our delulu. you don't need to cut out love because YOU DESERVE IT, but it takes time and patience til you meet someone who's just as willing to invest in you, and before that enjoy the ride of singlenesss its awesomeee
It’s been so comforting growing with you over the years! Your insights always remind me I’m not alone in how I feel good or bad. You’re such a comfort UA-camr 💗💗
get out of my brain!! i’ve been having all these thoughts lately- i’m so scared of being unlovable and it’s smth that’s been bothering me lately. whenever i bring this up w my friends they always tell me i’ll find the right person, that im pretty and funny blah blah if im all that, how come now ones has ever see me as a romantic interest?? ty for making this video rlly helped to realize im not the only one like this
I totally feel you it feels unfair and I don't really think that being friends with a past situationship is good. I tried it but it was pretty painful, I cut them out completely and it's better this way. But you could try, maybe it'll work for you. I hope your heart and brain heal soon
honestly you are not alone in this, i feel the same way about love and being a hopeless romantic, sometimes I think like: omg, how hard can it be to find a person to love :'))
dustin, oh man i feel so similar to you!!! im going through a similar thing rn. i basically got friendzoned (hateee that term but its all i can think of) and it hurts because my feelings for this person feel so real. it feels like a reset to go back to our friendship without those hopes and expectations now that i know how they feel and it doesnt match what i feel. i feel things very hard. i cannot do anything casual. im 23 but im ready to settle down in a solid, nuturing relationship and i just feel like its so hard to find these days. while its easy to want to stay guarded, i've been told that my soft spot is a power, even though it causes a lot of pain. its hard out here, but i have hope we'll find our people and it will be more special than we can ever imagine
14:46 why are we always living through the same things! I had a "will they won't they" situation with a friend which resulted in 1. A won't they and 2. The end of the friendship since he just ghosted me one day. And I was so embarrassed as well that I thought he ever was into me even though all my friends who knew and even friends who didn't asked us if we had something going on. So, yes: trust your friends, you weren't delusional, they just let you on
been watching you for about 4 years now, i'm 18 now and still watch your videos often, love how down to earth and honest you are, its such a nice change
i feel you too hard on this one 😭 i commented on your ig that i went through a situationship too this summer and it also made me feel crazy made my mindset shift and everything ngl its been hard to get into that mindset of “im ok w not being in a relationship” bc of the way ppl around you/seeing couples in the streets/media make love seem so accessible when really i think relationships are extremely complicated. it takes so much strength honesty and vulnerability from both ppl and through my situationship ive realized im not at that point yet 😭 but still mourning my hopes and romanticizations from then and navigating friendship with this person is soooo crazy girl ive started therapy again 😭😭
ive honestly been trying to decenter love and relationships from my life and cutting out media and i think it helps sm!! im a hopeless romantic too and i think its just helped w my mental state :))
i experinced the same situation literally this month😭😭 and after i found out that it's not gonna work i was sad for myself for being excited to love someone for the first time and having that hope that they like me back . actually i feel like i was really happy that time but then after understanding the truth all of those happy moments turns out as insecurities and feeling lonely but i don't have any regret about it cause i feel like by loving someone i can learn a lot about myself and i also feel alot of things i never felt before. and i know that time can heal me :3 and i hope time heal all of us :3 thank u for making this video, whenever u talk about problems like this after listening to u i feel like "oh he's right, it's not that much big and life is so much more than that" and it's enough for me, so yeah thank u dustin.
Exactly same situation here, but I'm 29, and all I can say is I'M SO TIRED too, and I kinda hate myself because I still have hope tho to find the right person and finally live at least one romantic experience in my life, but there's a pattern with me that makes me push people out of my life and isolate myself (avoidant attachment). Anyway, I love your videos, I missed them.
no like honestly once you take the pressure off of it and just have fun and be freaky while ur young and in ur 20s!! we can worry about romance when we enter our fully developed brain years like you’ve only been existing in the adult world for a few years and you’re still finding your footing and to add love to that is insane, love yo SELF
DUSTIN DON'T GIVE UP ON LOVE! I want to let you know that I felt the same way before meeting my current boyfriend and would watch your videos cause you were the only person I related to since I was in high school about love and feeling like you're unloveable. I want to let you know firstly that YOU'RE NOT THE PROBLEM! Omg the amount of time it took for me from high school till my second year of college to realise that, because of the amount of rejection that I was getting at the time was a lott. I realised that people wanted to be my friend afterwards cause they liked my personality but were not willing to commit to someone as seriously as you would commit to them. I was also led on for 2 months by my ex-boyfriend and was wondering why it didn't work and how he would want to be friends afterwards. I concluded that you have to assess the situation after being romantically involved with them, look back on your relationship and see if they're worth keeping that friendship with. It's fine to be a hopeless romantic and have hope that things will work out with a person. You just have to accept that the person really just wasn't for you for a reason and the right person will come when you stop looking. For some reason when I stopped being the person who put in so much effort in trying to find a romantic connection and I started to let people come to me is when I actually found my boyfriend hahaha now we've been together for a year and a half and it's not exhausting and I can tell how much he loves me. When you're the one chasing love more than the other person then you're more likely to get hurt from my experience. Figure out what you want, your standards for a person, your boundaries and then when you heal that inner child within yourself that desperately wants love from someone else by loving you is when love comes around. You will find love Dustin and you're loveable ❤❤
We are allowed to be both masterpiece and broken piece , after all arts still beautiful when we realized how it made . Pick up your broken pieces and keep shine, I know someone with a good eyes will appreciate your art someday , and you will blown away how magnificent you are . Love will come your way .. Keep moving.
I love you Dusting I’ve been watching ur videos for 5 years now and I love seeing you develop yourself and seeing the Changes in ur life I started watching u when I was in middle school and now I’m in uni🥹 I just wanted to say I love you and your videos thanks for making middle school fun and memorable for me ur videos actually made my days better
man, I feel u on those situatuions of feeling unlovable and experiencing situationships.. one day it will get better, i hope... u are not alone!! thanks for sharing your experience with us
this came in such a great time! i’ve been struggling after hanging out with this guy during exchange and then him not texting me after he went back to his country. after almost two years single, it felt so nice to feel some sort of romantic connection, besides meaningless hookups. yet, the regression feel is SO real, i couldn’t believe i was going back to my old ways so quickly, with the overthinking and the blocking my emotions. lord this video, thank you so much !!
this is my first Dustin video since i used to watch a few years ago and it’s so unbelievable real you articulate things in such a clear and relatable way ive missed watching your videos
The thing is I’m never looking for it, I’m usually just living my normal life and these things tend to just start happening as i’m living happily. Also, this sentiment has always been contradictory as we are all ALWAYS looking for love inherently because if we all truly “weren’t looking for love” we wouldn’t even notice when the opportunity of love is right in front of our eyes. We’d just not notice it and keep living our life. You have to stay open to love to find love and that inherently is always “looking for it”.
@@dustinvuong this is a very good point, thank you for this perspective!! i don’t believe that we should be closed to love, that would be a very sad life. its more that sometimes when we constantly try to find romantic love and repeatedly get let down, that can cause more harm than good. of course this doesn’t apply for everyone and im happy to hear that love is just finding you dustin. but for a lot of people dating feels like the only way to meet people and that can lead us to overthink, act in ways that doesn’t align with our true selves. so maybe if we stopped focusing so much on finding someone, and instead on just living our lives true to ourselves and always being open to everyone, that can make it easier to find the love we want and deserve.
15:36 once again me lmao. Went on a date recently and literally told my friend beforehand "this won't work out". My 17 year old romantic self would've been sad to see my mindset now but it is what it is🌟 Also getting mad at yourself because you "should've known better" IS TOO REAL. I also feel silly and like my 17 year old self but sometimes that's just life
yes i watched ur 'u might die alone & that's ok' vid & it's a message that rlly stuck w me. this isn't biased or anything but you have such a beautiful soul & aura like it's beyond gender n all these concepts if ykwim so i'm sure one day the person (or people) who sees you as we see you will come along bc you ARE loveable (romantically too). love the chatty vids sm
it happened to me too, and we decided to be friends and that first year was ROUGH, everything just felt weird and romantic and awkward, but nonetheless, when we both saw (and accepted) each other just a friends, we turned out the best of friends and they’re one of the most important ppl in my life!
i love these types of videos. i love listening to you talk and i always find myself resonating with your thoughts, the way you think and your experiences. its awful costantly seeing this pattern and not being able to do anything about it but notice it, i hope the bad feeling doesn't last too long
Going through something soooo identical……led on…..whole summer….ohhhh, how bad it hurts, well I cannot even describe!! We will survive Dustin. To anyone else going through it, it’s them, not you.
i understand the feeling of the “just giving up on love” thing, but pls don’t forget that ur still so youngggg ! it does feel like we’re just doomed but we barely lived like a fourth of our lives yet lol so i always try to keep that in mind!! i’m still gonna be 40 laughing at how dramatic i sound now at 20. we just gotta keep living until change comes in our way for the better
Ohh I can relate so much! Honestly do what feels best for you, I ended the friendship with my former situationship yesterday even though I really cared for him, but being friends at least for the moment just hurts me and leaves me wondering once again "why do they only want to be friends?". I did stay friends once before and I am really grateful for that friendship we built but to be honest I got hurt through the process back then as well a lot especially hearing about there new love interests...so I had to turn it down this time.
An excerpt from the writer May Sarton has been sticking with me these last few weeks since i read it and i feel like it relates to this topic of whether to open or close yourself to love to help yourself be happier. She says: '"Loneliness" for me is associated with love relationships. We are lonely when there is not perfect communion. In solitude one can achieve a good relationship with oneself. It struck me forcibly that I could never speak of "bone loneliness" now, though I have certainly experienced it when I was in love.' When your heart is content, without this yearning we experience in romance, of course we feel happier. It is only when a part of us is longing for something, whether that be acknowledgement from a person who we like or even certain emotional reciprocation from someone we are already with, that we feel that painful distance which is that of loneliness and rejection. For myself i have been pondering how even when there isn't a person who is the subject of this longing, it attaches itself to other aspects of life. Perhaps I tend to feel melancholy and an abstract sense of loneliness because i love life so deeply in so many ways, the tug of everything i wish i had time for and the fact that everything is so temporary creates a constant yearning without a clear name. But do you decide then to stop loving so fiercely? I think we just have to accept that with love comes loss and with beauty there is pain because that beauty won't last forever. Always love your videos Dustin ❤️
The way I think of it is that we’re all still so young and have so much life to live and so many different people to meet. I still genuinely believe I’ll find my person and that there’s someone for everyone, maybe it’s kinda childish but it’s exciting to think that one day I’ll have someone who I can have fun doing nothing with !!
The fact that we’re going through the same things. I don’t understand how people can sort of look at love and openly welcome it knowing that all these people in the world just end up constantly hurting you. Love is strong from so many other people in our lives (family & friends) why can’t people love the way other people in our lives do. I sometimes wish I could sit down and talk with u because I don’t have friends that ever go through these same emotions and somehow me and you happen to have the same things going on.
the feeling like u regressed in ur growth is so real, it’s like u left a part of yourself you loved sm with that person and it sucks and is so confusing trying to get back to that point all over again:/
are we living the same life because i went through like the same thing lmao but cheers to that though because i learned so much about myself now that the moment passed 🥂 i really understand how you feel when you said that it feels like you regressed. what i felt was exactly the same. i questioned myself a lot, but hey; it is what it is 🤷♀ anyway, thank you so much for talking about this, dustin. what you said in your videos always resonate to me and it makes me feel less alone
The algorithm is vivid and this was the first time in five months that I watched a video of yours. Although I haven't been keeping up it is good to see you especially when it comes to life updates. I'm also 22 and trying to manage my life in this dying world (dramatic but true) I also had a situationship like yours last year and the same mindset going into a friendship after being romantic. As an air sign, it is hard to differentiate between romantic feelings and platonic actions. Sad, but nice to hear that I'm not alone in this. Much love Dustin, it sucks being a hopeless romantic✨🚬
arghhh dustin!!!!! thanks for this video. i literally just ended things with a guy and i am a total blocker too. I blocked him and I felt so bad but like good to see there are other fellow blockers out there :3
I mean you could always take a short break from dating. You are in a new city with so many new things for your life! If the idea of dating feels too stressful/ or just too sad it’s okay to decenter that type of relationship from your life for a while. It will always be there for when you feel more ready and capable of handling potential rejection/ potential love again.
This is just a theory but hear me out. You seem like a very friendly person in general and even strangers like me are pulled in wanting to be your friend. You really have that kind of charisma, Dustin. Maybe it's the way you approach your love interest? It's giving "let's be friends and see where it's going" type of approach? I know someone who is totally the opposite of you, he's never been single in his entire teenage and adult life despite of the fact that he can't seem to make any friends. He always gives off that "I want a partner" type of energy so I guess that's the reason nobody is interested being his friend. Like his intention is so clear that he doesn't want a friend. Maybe you could work on how you show your intent? Idk the details but I'm just guessing and making assumptions haha. I hope this might give you some realizations, idk. Good luck in finding love, Dustin!
happy friday!! will post the storytime on my patreon later today. subscribe, like, share with a friend if you can! see you guys next week!!
EDIT: it’s up!
I wanna know but I'm broke :(( lmao
the transition from " i want to make more friends " to " i have enough friends " . felt. that is so me 😭
LOLLL i want more actual friendships not failed situationship acquaintances
Honestly real man real
HIS LIFE ALWAYS SYNCS WITH MINE BCZ THE TIMINGGGGGGG INSANEE
HEYY TWINN
SAMEE
Sameee😢
i totally resonate with the "happily single" back to "yearning for romance" and feeling like you've regressed... then again, healing isn't linear or whatever they say, and in every new romantic interest that comes into your life you learn a LOT about yourself. so cheers to self growth, no matter how painful 🥹 all the best, im rooting for you!!
i relate a lot to what dustin said about crying over yourself and not the person you liked. there have been many times in my life where i tried to put myself in a romantic situation- i stepped out of my comfort zone. and in the end, i was the one who liked them and they didn’t like me back in that way (only saw me as a friend). it hurts a lot. i’ve cried over myself because i was so disappointed that i fell for it again. hearing dustin talk about it was really comforting.
Yeah and you even feel bad for kinda wasting your time...
I’m going through a similar thing, except I actually never have real, romantic interest, I just kinda delude myself into believing I do because… I want to experience romance and being in a relationship. That, and the guys who say they’re interested in me, tend to focus on one thing in particular (you can guess what) which turns me off the idea of relationships as a whole. After I block them and have a period of growth, I’m always convinced that I’ve… outgrown romance and that I’m okay on my own, that I’m confident enough without attention from other people. But then I get reeled in again because I become delusional and romanticise nearly everything. *Sigh* Dustin, it’s rough when you’re a lover at heart.
Oh gosh are we the same person hello?! You just put into words exactly my feelings!! Like you, I also want to experience romance and even fantasize about it often (embarrassing lol) but then when someone does show interest, I kind of..:run away lol. Also, I’m pretty sure I’m asexual and as a straight woman trying to navigate modern dating THAT is a struggle so I’ve just kind of given up on finding a partner and hope I find a life best friend to live with or something lol
@@atzirimarquez3347 we MIGHT be the same person. Although, I’m not asexual, it’s just… I don’t like sex talk all the time, especially as a virgin, and especially before I really know someone.
the makeshift book self looks so good LOL I think you should keep it!
I think I will for awhile!
@@dustinvuongyes omg i immediately took a screenshot bc i wanna make one too
Hi, I feel like I went through something similar in my teens/younger twenties. I think there was a shifting point when I decided to see other people’s choices as a projection of themselves and not necessarily a comment on who I am. Like whether they rejected me or not it was speaking more on who they are versus if I was loveable/attractive/dateable/fun enough or not. Hope that made sense! Never lose hope, I know love is out there in so many ways shapes and forms just waiting for you ❤
makes total sense! thank you
i understand feeling unlovable. nobody’s ever had a crush on me but i try not to take it to heart 😅
Well you don’t know that. Not everyone will talk to you, and you probably haven’t told everyone you liked that you feel that way. Plus I realized with time sometimes we’re single because we don’t need to be with anyone. A certain level of dedication to health in all areas and life goals can make us better to ourselves and better to people so yeah keep not taking it to heart but also remember crushes aren’t love. Not every relationship is either. That’s deep commitment like someone gets disabled and you can still handle that person being in your life because you didn’t choose them for their abilities. Or deciding to get through good and bad times together, not with codependency, but with maturity where you accept there’s times you’re not always gonna be infatuated with one another or maybe someone has a job opportunity and you have to decide if you’re moving together without bitterness or if one is staying behind depending on some factors-can you brave that? That’s love. Not just being into someone. That fades eventually and requires creativity. So remember sometimes you may want to take time to consider what it is you actually want and then pursue or don’t accordingly. Be brave and open to different types of people. And accepting of their feelings as not personal. When you’re ready 😊
@@Nothereforit174 Thank you. Your comment is so kind and gives me a lot to reflect on ☺️☺️
I cried for majority of the video because if this man Dustin has so many great qualities what hope do we have.
I’m 22 now and have never even experienced a talking stage. I’m kind of tired of seeing my friends move from one person to another. I’m happy for them, don’t get me wrong, but it makes me wonder if there’s something wrong with me. I get compliments from many people, but no one wants to pursue anything with me. I feel like a doll-beautiful on the outside but too boring to keep around.
No matter how hard I try to stop expecting love, I always find myself hoping and rethinking even the smallest interactions. At the end of the day, I have friends, but they’ve all gotten into healthy relationships. I feel a bit desperate as they’ve started excluding me because I’m single, using it as an excuse to leave me behind. Maybe I’m unlovable, and I just have to accept it even my friends leave me in the end
those are not good friends if they leave you out! remember that it’s okay to live life independently and there’s so many other things that life has to offer other than romantic love! I think it’s very easy to harp on it as the entire world seems to put romantic love on such a high pedestal.
No ! Literally!! i felt the crying part because i completely understand being stuck in a cycle , in my case it’s like everytime i think a guy actually likes me they prove to me they were only just there for my body and they actually don’t care about me at all. not my thoughts, not my dreams , not my hopes, not my hobbies. just my body. and i cried one night after confirming this guy that i was messing with was talking to other girls. i cried. not necessarily because i really cared for him but more because i was sad because nobody has actually showed they have genuinely liked me and i’m always stuck in the cycle and it led me to remaining abstinent and changing the responses i have with guys. i have a much clearer head now but it still sucks cus i want ROMANCE BADDDDDDDDD but like i’m not gonna settle for the sake of myself. but man mourning that idea is definitely soo real. YOU ARE SO REAL. you get me so much🩷 i’m sorry that u felt those emotions but i’m glad u shared ur story !! love youuu dustinnnn
Youth is so scary and yet so beautiful. So glad we have people to relate with! Thank you so much for sharing, Dustin!
what i've seen another youtuber do not so long ago is a year of no dating. no apps, no otherthinking about potential relationships. and it really helped her set her priorities and become confident in being alone while still valuing her romantic side. as a viewer, i noticed that it changed her a lot for the better (the youtuber is maddie dragsbaek btw). so maybe that's something to think about as well
i do that already (unintentionally LOL)
MADDIE DRAGSBAEK MENTION ‼️ CEO OF LOVERGIRLS WORLDWIDE ‼️
bruh thats what i've been doing my whole life why do i still feel like shit LMAO
Just give it time Dustin. I think you're a really great person who has really great intentions behind everything he does and so with time I think everything will fall into place keep your head up man ❤
When you said in your video that I feel like I just give friend vibes I completely relate because my first relationship was like that and he was all like oh do you want to be friends and I was like no like we were just romantic how can I go back so I can definitely relate
Nothing wrong with keeping the relationship open to being friends so just saying because you never know what might blossom out of something like that
YOU ARE LOVEABLE!! you gotta give yourself credit for being creative, musical, fashionable, super great at taking cute vlogs, keeping plants alive etc...there's so much to love about yourself!! and whoever doesn't see that in you, that's their problem, and they don't deserve our delulu. you don't need to cut out love because YOU DESERVE IT, but it takes time and patience til you meet someone who's just as willing to invest in you, and before that enjoy the ride of singlenesss its awesomeee
It’s been so comforting growing with you over the years! Your insights always remind me I’m not alone in how I feel good or bad. You’re such a comfort UA-camr 💗💗
8:00 aww man, that sucks, i was kinda rooting for the that person from the travel date
womp womp
get out of my brain!! i’ve been having all these thoughts lately- i’m so scared of being unlovable and it’s smth that’s been bothering me lately. whenever i bring this up w my friends they always tell me i’ll find the right person, that im pretty and funny blah blah if im all that, how come now ones has ever see me as a romantic interest?? ty for making this video rlly helped to realize im not the only one like this
7:41 the way i thought you were gunna say love here PLS 😭😭
I totally feel you it feels unfair and I don't really think that being friends with a past situationship is good. I tried it but it was pretty painful, I cut them out completely and it's better this way. But you could try, maybe it'll work for you. I hope your heart and brain heal soon
honestly you are not alone in this, i feel the same way about love and being a hopeless romantic, sometimes I think like: omg, how hard can it be to find a person to love :'))
dustin, oh man i feel so similar to you!!! im going through a similar thing rn. i basically got friendzoned (hateee that term but its all i can think of) and it hurts because my feelings for this person feel so real. it feels like a reset to go back to our friendship without those hopes and expectations now that i know how they feel and it doesnt match what i feel. i feel things very hard. i cannot do anything casual. im 23 but im ready to settle down in a solid, nuturing relationship and i just feel like its so hard to find these days. while its easy to want to stay guarded, i've been told that my soft spot is a power, even though it causes a lot of pain. its hard out here, but i have hope we'll find our people and it will be more special than we can ever imagine
the nami matcha!!!!
SHOUTOUT ASHLEYYYY
let me just say those feelings are universal cuz same 🙋♀
14:46 why are we always living through the same things! I had a "will they won't they" situation with a friend which resulted in 1. A won't they and 2. The end of the friendship since he just ghosted me one day. And I was so embarrassed as well that I thought he ever was into me even though all my friends who knew and even friends who didn't asked us if we had something going on. So, yes: trust your friends, you weren't delusional, they just let you on
i felt the situationship part. it feels like im a clown in the end
been watching you for about 4 years now, i'm 18 now and still watch your videos often, love how down to earth and honest you are, its such a nice change
i feel you too hard on this one 😭
i commented on your ig that i went through a situationship too this summer and it also made me feel crazy made my mindset shift and everything
ngl its been hard to get into that mindset of “im ok w not being in a relationship” bc of the way ppl around you/seeing couples in the streets/media make love seem so accessible when really i think relationships are extremely complicated.
it takes so much strength honesty and vulnerability from both ppl and through my situationship ive realized im not at that point yet 😭 but still mourning my hopes and romanticizations from then and navigating friendship with this person is soooo crazy girl ive started therapy again 😭😭
ive honestly been trying to decenter love and relationships from my life and cutting out media and i think it helps sm!!
im a hopeless romantic too and i think its just helped w my mental state :))
18:28 LOLL DUSTIN
HAHAHA
oh i've been waiting for this!!! this whole week i've been watching ur old vids, i needed this
Being rejected can lead to self-doubt and negative thoughts about one's worth
i experinced the same situation literally this month😭😭 and after i found out that it's not gonna work i was sad for myself for being excited to love someone for the first time and having that hope that they like me back . actually i feel like i was really happy that time but then after understanding the truth all of those happy moments turns out as insecurities and feeling lonely but i don't have any regret about it cause i feel like by loving someone i can learn a lot about myself and i also feel alot of things i never felt before. and i know that time can heal me :3 and i hope time heal all of us :3 thank u for making this video, whenever u talk about problems like this after listening to u i feel like "oh he's right, it's not that much big and life is so much more than that" and it's enough for me, so yeah thank u dustin.
8:10 the hand that flew to my open mouth when you dropped "3 months"
Exactly same situation here, but I'm 29, and all I can say is I'M SO TIRED too, and I kinda hate myself because I still have hope tho to find the right person and finally live at least one romantic experience in my life, but there's a pattern with me that makes me push people out of my life and isolate myself (avoidant attachment). Anyway, I love your videos, I missed them.
no like honestly once you take the pressure off of it and just have fun and be freaky while ur young and in ur 20s!! we can worry about romance when we enter our fully developed brain years like you’ve only been existing in the adult world for a few years and you’re still finding your footing and to add love to that is insane, love yo SELF
DUSTIN DON'T GIVE UP ON LOVE! I want to let you know that I felt the same way before meeting my current boyfriend and would watch your videos cause you were the only person I related to since I was in high school about love and feeling like you're unloveable. I want to let you know firstly that YOU'RE NOT THE PROBLEM! Omg the amount of time it took for me from high school till my second year of college to realise that, because of the amount of rejection that I was getting at the time was a lott. I realised that people wanted to be my friend afterwards cause they liked my personality but were not willing to commit to someone as seriously as you would commit to them. I was also led on for 2 months by my ex-boyfriend and was wondering why it didn't work and how he would want to be friends afterwards. I concluded that you have to assess the situation after being romantically involved with them, look back on your relationship and see if they're worth keeping that friendship with. It's fine to be a hopeless romantic and have hope that things will work out with a person. You just have to accept that the person really just wasn't for you for a reason and the right person will come when you stop looking.
For some reason when I stopped being the person who put in so much effort in trying to find a romantic connection and I started to let people come to me is when I actually found my boyfriend hahaha now we've been together for a year and a half and it's not exhausting and I can tell how much he loves me. When you're the one chasing love more than the other person then you're more likely to get hurt from my experience. Figure out what you want, your standards for a person, your boundaries and then when you heal that inner child within yourself that desperately wants love from someone else by loving you is when love comes around. You will find love Dustin and you're loveable ❤❤
i feel u…i don’t think my heart can handle another disappointment…
8:56 It's ok if u cry over the guy. U don't need to make youreself "the bigger person". U are allowed to be sad that you were rejected. ;)
We are allowed to be both masterpiece and broken piece , after all arts still beautiful when we realized how it made . Pick up your broken pieces and keep shine, I know someone with a good eyes will appreciate your art someday , and you will blown away how magnificent you are . Love will come your way .. Keep moving.
'hopping bed to bed' kind of has a very cheeky connotation... :)
dustin your page has found me when i needed it most yet again
update: i've never felt this heard before what.
I love you Dusting I’ve been watching ur videos for 5 years now and I love seeing you develop yourself and seeing the Changes in ur life
I started watching u when I was in middle school and now I’m in uni🥹 I just wanted to say I love you and your videos thanks for making middle school fun and memorable for me ur videos actually made my days better
watching ur vids literally inspire & motivate me so thank u sm for that dustin !!!
Obsessed much
thank u for ur support!!
man, I feel u on those situatuions of feeling unlovable and experiencing situationships.. one day it will get better, i hope... u are not alone!! thanks for sharing your experience with us
this came in such a great time! i’ve been struggling after hanging out with this guy during exchange and then him not texting me after he went back to his country. after almost two years single, it felt so nice to feel some sort of romantic connection, besides meaningless hookups. yet, the regression feel is SO real, i couldn’t believe i was going back to my old ways so quickly, with the overthinking and the blocking my emotions. lord this video, thank you so much !!
this is my first Dustin video since i used to watch a few years ago and it’s so unbelievable real you articulate things in such a clear and relatable way ive missed watching your videos
already can't wait for the EP, have been listening to your songs every day
everything is so reallll in this video like it’s the way I’m going through the same thing.
honestly, taking a break from looking for love could be a good idea. i think the most genuine relationships come from when you’re least expecting it.
so good to hear you're settling back home! looking forward to the EP :)
your feelings are SO VALID 🥲💜
omg I used to watch you so much when I was younger bro glad to see you pop up again on my youtube :>
sometimes when we are just focusing on ourselves and not looking for love that’s when it will come
The thing is I’m never looking for it, I’m usually just living my normal life and these things tend to just start happening as i’m living happily. Also, this sentiment has always been contradictory as we are all ALWAYS looking for love inherently because if we all truly “weren’t looking for love” we wouldn’t even notice when the opportunity of love is right in front of our eyes. We’d just not notice it and keep living our life. You have to stay open to love to find love and that inherently is always “looking for it”.
@@dustinvuong this is a very good point, thank you for this perspective!! i don’t believe that we should be closed to love, that would be a very sad life. its more that sometimes when we constantly try to find romantic love and repeatedly get let down, that can cause more harm than good. of course this doesn’t apply for everyone and im happy to hear that love is just finding you dustin. but for a lot of people dating feels like the only way to meet people and that can lead us to overthink, act in ways that doesn’t align with our true selves. so maybe if we stopped focusing so much on finding someone, and instead on just living our lives true to ourselves and always being open to everyone, that can make it easier to find the love we want and deserve.
it’s like we’re living the same life lol. just know you’re not alone in this bc I’m right there w you friend. sending you all the love!
You are all those wonderful things you said Dustin your the best love you! 💚
15:36 once again me lmao. Went on a date recently and literally told my friend beforehand "this won't work out". My 17 year old romantic self would've been sad to see my mindset now but it is what it is🌟
Also getting mad at yourself because you "should've known better" IS TOO REAL. I also feel silly and like my 17 year old self but sometimes that's just life
I LOVE you Dustin ❤
My safeplace forever 🥰❤️
strong hug... some how I also feeling this lately...
yes i watched ur 'u might die alone & that's ok' vid & it's a message that rlly stuck w me. this isn't biased or anything but you have such a beautiful soul & aura like it's beyond gender n all these concepts if ykwim so i'm sure one day the person (or people) who sees you as we see you will come along bc you ARE loveable (romantically too). love the chatty vids sm
it happened to me too, and we decided to be friends and that first year was ROUGH, everything just felt weird and romantic and awkward, but nonetheless, when we both saw (and accepted) each other just a friends, we turned out the best of friends and they’re one of the most important ppl in my life!
i love these types of videos. i love listening to you talk and i always find myself resonating with your thoughts, the way you think and your experiences. its awful costantly seeing this pattern and not being able to do anything about it but notice it, i hope the bad feeling doesn't last too long
Honestly, I’ve removed myself from any kind of dating and romantic situations and I am happier than ever. If it feels right, do it!
Dustin I really needed this, thank you
Wishing you good luck, happiness, and lots of love from 🇬🇪 you deserve everything the best, Dustin✨️❤
THE TIMINGGGG
I MISSED YOU BRO. I LOVE YOUR PASSION FOR LIFE!!!! LETS BOTH MAKE LOTS OF FRIENDS AND LOVERS AND HAVE SO MUCH FUN
Going through something soooo identical……led on…..whole summer….ohhhh, how bad it hurts, well I cannot even describe!! We will survive Dustin. To anyone else going through it, it’s them, not you.
i understand the feeling of the “just giving up on love” thing, but pls don’t forget that ur still so youngggg ! it does feel like we’re just doomed but we barely lived like a fourth of our lives yet lol so i always try to keep that in mind!! i’m still gonna be 40 laughing at how dramatic i sound now at 20. we just gotta keep living until change comes in our way for the better
Ohh I can relate so much! Honestly do what feels best for you, I ended the friendship with my former situationship yesterday even though I really cared for him, but being friends at least for the moment just hurts me and leaves me wondering once again "why do they only want to be friends?". I did stay friends once before and I am really grateful for that friendship we built but to be honest I got hurt through the process back then as well a lot especially hearing about there new love interests...so I had to turn it down this time.
We love the Nami 🍵 ⭐️
the heart shaped cup is so cute!
right!!! i got it from a local artist in melbourne
Love ya🫶🏻 you're fr not just my fav youtuber but also my bsf
An excerpt from the writer May Sarton has been sticking with me these last few weeks since i read it and i feel like it relates to this topic of whether to open or close yourself to love to help yourself be happier. She says:
'"Loneliness" for me is associated with love relationships. We are lonely when there is not perfect communion. In solitude one can achieve a good relationship with oneself. It struck me forcibly that I could never speak of "bone loneliness" now, though I have certainly experienced it when I was in love.'
When your heart is content, without this yearning we experience in romance, of course we feel happier. It is only when a part of us is longing for something, whether that be acknowledgement from a person who we like or even certain emotional reciprocation from someone we are already with, that we feel that painful distance which is that of loneliness and rejection. For myself i have been pondering how even when there isn't a person who is the subject of this longing, it attaches itself to other aspects of life. Perhaps I tend to feel melancholy and an abstract sense of loneliness because i love life so deeply in so many ways, the tug of everything i wish i had time for and the fact that everything is so temporary creates a constant yearning without a clear name. But do you decide then to stop loving so fiercely? I think we just have to accept that with love comes loss and with beauty there is pain because that beauty won't last forever.
Always love your videos Dustin ❤️
very relatable!
The way I think of it is that we’re all still so young and have so much life to live and so many different people to meet. I still genuinely believe I’ll find my person and that there’s someone for everyone, maybe it’s kinda childish but it’s exciting to think that one day I’ll have someone who I can have fun doing nothing with !!
The fact that we’re going through the same things. I don’t understand how people can sort of look at love and openly welcome it knowing that all these people in the world just end up constantly hurting you. Love is strong from so many other people in our lives (family & friends) why can’t people love the way other people in our lives do. I sometimes wish I could sit down and talk with u because I don’t have friends that ever go through these same emotions and somehow me and you happen to have the same things going on.
Dustin pulling a SZA and announcing new music but not dropping it till a year later. love that
thank u, ur not alone
Not the post crush clarity 😭
Literally my favorite youtuber
Love the JustTrish podcast in the background! The UA-cam universe we love ✨
the only reason I still watch UA-cam tbh
the feeling like u regressed in ur growth is so real, it’s like u left a part of yourself you loved sm with that person and it sucks and is so confusing trying to get back to that point all over again:/
are we living the same life because i went through like the same thing lmao but cheers to that though because i learned so much about myself now that the moment passed 🥂 i really understand how you feel when you said that it feels like you regressed. what i felt was exactly the same. i questioned myself a lot, but hey; it is what it is 🤷♀ anyway, thank you so much for talking about this, dustin. what you said in your videos always resonate to me and it makes me feel less alone
The algorithm is vivid and this was the first time in five months that I watched a video of yours. Although I haven't been keeping up it is good to see you especially when it comes to life updates. I'm also 22 and trying to manage my life in this dying world (dramatic but true) I also had a situationship like yours last year and the same mindset going into a friendship after being romantic. As an air sign, it is hard to differentiate between romantic feelings and platonic actions. Sad, but nice to hear that I'm not alone in this. Much love Dustin, it sucks being a hopeless romantic✨🚬
gasped so hard when i saw NAMIIII
arghhh dustin!!!!! thanks for this video. i literally just ended things with a guy and i am a total blocker too. I blocked him and I felt so bad but like good to see there are other fellow blockers out there :3
finalllyy new vid
Me watching at👀 0:25 why is everything with you iced???😂❤
All love from TO
I’m from california it’s so hot here 😭
Love your catch-up videos
Yeah I’m recovering from a 3 month situationship as well so I feel you
omg dustin using nami matcha
BRO I MISSED U SO MUCH
we love you
MISSED THIS TALKS SO MUCHHHHH
I mean you could always take a short break from dating. You are in a new city with so many new things for your life! If the idea of dating feels too stressful/ or just too sad it’s okay to decenter that type of relationship from your life for a while. It will always be there for when you feel more ready and capable of handling potential rejection/ potential love again.
I just love your videos 💛
Dustin has got to be like the Anti Avatar because whenever the world (me) needs his most he appears!
This is just a theory but hear me out. You seem like a very friendly person in general and even strangers like me are pulled in wanting to be your friend. You really have that kind of charisma, Dustin. Maybe it's the way you approach your love interest? It's giving "let's be friends and see where it's going" type of approach?
I know someone who is totally the opposite of you, he's never been single in his entire teenage and adult life despite of the fact that he can't seem to make any friends. He always gives off that "I want a partner" type of energy so I guess that's the reason nobody is interested being his friend. Like his intention is so clear that he doesn't want a friend. Maybe you could work on how you show your intent? Idk the details but I'm just guessing and making assumptions haha. I hope this might give you some realizations, idk. Good luck in finding love, Dustin!
This helped me a lot, thank u❤
king i did not know you were a fellow sacramentian!!!!! ok represent!