@@andanom it's a greeting, similar to "what's up". Just a cooler way of saying hello. He asked me "what's good," and I responded with "nothing," so it seemed like I said that nothing was good.
The most imortant rule: You can't calculate what you're about to say, if you think for a second "maybe tha pigeon over there is not worth talking about", you automatically lose. Just talk about whatever, if you say something stupid chances are you will make someone laugh and root for you, and over time you will get intuitively better at finding interesting topics
trueeeeeee, i had a period where i thought out everything i was gonna say and i was genuinely impressed that other people were able to talk about random shit lmao.
Got a buddy who is like this, will say stuff on his mind like we’re walking around and he’ll be like “you ever thought how that time when Phil Collins saw that guy who could of saved that other guy from drowning, but he didn’t, and he saw it all and saw him at the concert?” Just out of nowhere not even remotely on subject but things like that make him fun 😅
I went to high school with this dude named Doug, and Doug was the easiest guy to get along with. No matter what you talked to him about, he always seemed genuinely interested, and would ask a ton of questions. I kinda picked that up from him, and it makes talking to people so much easier. Just…ask questions. People love a good listener.
I was dropping off an Uber order the other day and said “enjoy your meal” to which the guy responded “thanks, you too.” I could feel his pain without even looking back at him as I walked back to my car.
Awkwardness is a necessary part of human interaction and communication honestly. Sometimes shit just gets awkward, even with the most socially adept people. The key is to just move on with the conversation and not think about it too hard
Small talk is the conversational equivalent of smiling and making eye contact. It's not deep or anything, but it lets the other person know you're friendly and interested in their general state of being. Trying to skip that would be like making someone take out their earbuds to talk to you, but then just rambling at them without ever looking up at their face.
Be fine if people actually knew how to read fucking body language. It's like one year ago I'm waiting in line, very long line. There's a woman behind me talking to me in a friendly manner, not once did I turn around or say anything back to her. Basically it's my turn, after I get what I wanted, it's her turn to step up, she goes, it was nice talking to you. It's not something she said in a like consending tone, she honestly thought I gave a shit. The world needs more self awareness.
my old boss used to randomly comment on things, stuff i’d usually sort of agree with, crack a joke about and we’d carry on; at first, very awkward “talking to my boss” moments, that slowly grew more comfortable, until one day we ended up spending 2 hours talking about our views on world history, his unbelievable amazing stories of all the people he’s met, and our shared love for making music, now we’re more or less best friends, we talk most weeks and i haven’t worked at that job in a long time
I LOVE THIS GUY i came here thinking it was gonna be a more comedic video and during the first minute or so all i could think was "small talk is actually good if you don't treat it as small talk and kinda just stay in the present conversation" and then you literally explained it in the same kind of manner i was thinking just like u did with your "7 levels of being high" vid where you talked about being able to hear your thoughts more clearly. If i ever had the chance to have a conversation with you I would take it and you're definitely going to blow up when more people find this gold
This has to be the best advice I've ever gotten about smalltalk. I tend to be very socially anxious to the point that even when I actually manage to engage in small talk I'm sweating buckets because I think I sound so stupid. It's just a cool idea that if I keep having these conversations it'll get less uncomfortable with the people that I started them with. It's comforting in a sense so thank you dude.
Man. Watch these almost all the time and I ain’t saying it enough I guess. These animations and this dudes narrative is just off the charts 🙌🏽😂 keep it up
@@MostlyTrue These are awesome! Also, I was wondering because our channels have a few things in common, if you'd like to do a collab at some point? Maybe go on each others channels or something, if not, that's cool too.
Glad I live in Czechia, it's just an unwritten rule here that you don't talk to anyone. Not in line at the store, not on the bus, especially if you have to sit together cause all other seats are taken. You just get their attention by making some conspicuous hand gesture, once they look at you, you point at the seat, if they nod you sit down. If you're by the window and you want to get off, you just start loudly shuffling around with your bag or just generally move around in your seat. The ultimate win is if you manage to do all of that without finding out what the other one's voice sounds like. We just know that small talk sucks, we don't know each other, so it's awkward as hell and just generally try to make each other the least uncomfortable we can.
I live in perpetual small talk. I am a gas station clerk. All I ever fuckin talk about is the weather, how fuckin hot it is or how fuckin cold it is. Or whatever horrid thing is on the news over and over and over. But….every now and again. Out of the hundreds I see a day. A few return, and have a conversation. It’s beautiful. We find that we relate on so many things. Video games. Weeds. Other stuff. But ultimately, out of the hundreds of interactions I have a day, because I ask the person how they were today, a few answer honestly. And that’s the highlight of my day. That thing I learned about a regular. Who may turn into a friend. Who may turn into family. All these things have happened. Many times over. And this video that you made, made me realize the highlight of my job. The people.
Your social lubricant analogy for small talk and how weird it is to just dive right into a deep conversation with someone you don’t even know is actually really fucking good. There are so many times when either myself or someone else has skipped that part and it’s difficult to pinpoint exactly what was so weird about a conversation that otherwise seemed benign, but that hit the nail on the head. Nothing about the conversation itself is that bizarre it’s the fact that you barely know the person and they’re talking about shit you’d talk about with someone you’ve known for a bit.
FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT small talk is actually important and necessary and it doesnt have it be a mind gripping 5D game of chess its just genuinely trying to talk and have a connection with someone no matter how surface level it is, the fact that you're speaking is cool and it'll open the door for more interaction that builds up rapport and trust iTS IMPORTANT GUYS
yeah I've finally gotten over my hatred of small talk. When I was younger I was all smug about hating it, probably because that felt better than admitting I sucked at it. As I've gotten older, I've realized that life is made up of small stuff as well as all that deep stuff, and it's all meaningful if you think about it.
I guess it depends on the context. It’s necessary in an environment where you’re “forced” (for lack of a better term) to be around the same people; work, school, etc. I don’t see any use for it in an elevator or a line at the supermarket though.
honestly thank u for putting small talk this way because i rlly hate it and never understood the point because i just do not know what to say .. it felt superficial especially people asking how i was when i was really bad but i knew the real answer was not what people wanted to hear kinda thing? but i can kinda understand the building trust and social lubricant thing
As a cashier I feel terrible for interacting with everyone. I have horrible, awful social anxiety in any other situation but I find it so easy to interact as a cashier because I've had some cashiers make my day infinitely better and I try to do the same for other people... But at the same time I feel like no matter what I do I'm just burdening everyone I try interacting with, especially when they respond even slightly negatively. Ugh. Love the video though. I can heavily relate.
I don't understand the thought process behind "burdening them" I'm a cashier too, with similar mental health issues. I find the job somewhat fulfilling! Especially everyday regulars. I end up being paid to chit chat all day
I do see some upset people from time to time, but theyre never upset by conversation alone. Try to ensure you leave the conversation able to stay open or be ended by them if they don't want to talk
@@Brunetteaccus It’s just anxiety man. My sister can sit and ask me for 10 minutes if she looks and smells ok even if she’s already checked multiple times
Little socially anxious me was expecting to relate to small talk slander, but instead got a nice lesson in the value of investing in small talk and the meaningfulness of “meaningless” interactions :) makes me feel so much better about things!! 💗
Honestly, I've known a guy who works in a local shop for around 6 months or so, but I'm acryally devastated that hes leaving. It's not like heartbreak or loss, but I guess it's acknowledging I'm losing a sense of friendship but I'm so proud of him for bettering his life. Good Luck Naz x
Man you really flew that analogy into the ground. I like the analogy of a conversation being a tennis match; you and your conversation partner sling sentences back and forth with the goal being a well maintained rally throughout the conversation. If you think of "scoring a point" as "closing the conversation" you can think of hurling an insult they don't have a come back to as the equivalent to just slamming the ball into the opposite corner to your opponent, shutting down the rally. When the rally is going strong and you have a feel for the person you are conversing with, you will find it much easier to get into that flow state of a good back and forth much more easily.
2:49 has my cracking up. Mercury in Gatorade 😂😂😂 I’m so happy I found this channel. It’s super relatable and calms my anxiety especially being high and paranoid. Universal experiences are real lol. The future is bright for this channel! 💕💕
It's like this. I've been pretty shy in my teen years, but by 17 i read a great book about body language and surface mind reading, that book changed me because I began to see small-talk as an experiment or testing for a while and I learned a lot about how people communicate, eventually i learned to behave myself accordingly to the other person's vibes now that is great lubricant and now 10 years later of experience i begin to challenge the social interaction using all that i learn about people i can locate their passion subjects and also sometimes challenge their views comfortably because nothing sparks meaningful conversation like thinking different and also Beeing "lubricated" enough to talk about all the little details to why things are different for us through stories and deep-talk now that can be also a great bounce back to agree on core elements and then understanding of each other is made and once you understand each other you can make each other social "favours" which makes you sometimes bond even more with that person.
Ngl this video made me realize some major mistakes in the way I engage with and think about others. one’s never too old to fix himself. thanks bro, I appreciate it.
I love the planting seeds message. It makes me feel really good, i'm learning how to be social and it really relates to how I'm feeling. I was never good at being social, and small talk helps me. Thanks for making this (:
I was a server for over 20 years. I would say i am the small talk master. And it's true some of my regular customers i only had small talk with over a period of time built into meaningful conversations.
lol I resonate with this to my soul 😂 i used to have really bad social anxiety and could barely “human.” I’d be like “am I standing right?” “What should I do w/ my hands?” “my legs are too spread!“ “oh wait, am I moving too much?” “They can see!” “THEY CAN TELL IM NERVOUS” What eventually helped me was self improvement/ love (took a while), practicing basic social skills (felt so weird at first), & the realization that I have to be around people forever (even if they’re small interactions like a cashier) so why not learn the basics? Hope this helps anyone who feels like it’s impossible, because I thought it was too
What I hate THE MOST is when someone starts a small talk, proceeds to make it "not so small" and when I try to be nice and go with the flow and respond in full sentences and not 1 or 2 words, they look at me funny like "do I even know you? Why are you talking so much to me?" Man get the hell outta here!
They're having a monologue and just want people to listen and act interested. Free therapy I suppose. Similar is when strangers say how are you doing when they don't want to hear anything but "fine, you?", if not just getting a nod.
All relationships whether merely verbal physical or even deeper, are like having a dance together. Anyone who knows how to dance understands that when the music starts you don't just immediately run over to the other person and toss them in the air and do a twirl, but instead you have to build up the energy to the right moment. there is a flow and a Harmony to everything
One of the things wrong with small talk is, it has a tendency to stay small or not go anywhere. Man in the elevator: how was your weekend Me: good, how was your weekend Man in the elevator: um, it was ok We get off the elevator, he goes left, I go right. What was the purpose in that interaction? I mean, now that he knows I had a good weekend and I know he had an ok weekend, what happens next? What's the end game?
I think what I hate about it, is that there's far more quantity than quality which makes every instance of small talk feel like a waste of time, which makes talking in general feel like a waste of time. To relate to the seed analogy, what's the point of planting seeds if I know 90% will never grow?
hahahahaha "except for when mercury is in gatorade" killed me. I'm an astrophysics major and I'm gonna start saying "gatorade" instead of retrograde now to throw people off. thank you for this
EXACTLY!!! I really don’t like when people say “I don’t like small talk.” To new that shows little understanding of social interaction and maybe even no desire to develop a true friendship. Everything starts with small talk.
Man that Conversational Chess part hit right at home hahaha. every interaction I have as a cashier at target is just mixed with canned scenarios, waiting for that one person to off the societal script… to which I’ll then just have to awkwardly laugh and continue scanning their groceries… not knowing whether or not they even said something funny or even worse… asked a question. New sub right here, these videos are amazing
So, I’ve been heart-on-sleeve, honesty-is-best-policy my whole life pretty much, and it has been somewhat to my detriment, but much more to my benefit, in my opinion. Anyway, when I do small talk, it is inevitable for me to dip into the more “not small talk” topics- in my estimation, because I don’t mind divulging much of myself. This tends to put people off, somewhat. At times, however, it seems to endear them to me. I have many more people in my life who care about me than I deserve. Granted, most of them are family, but I have a couple nonwork friends and my coworkers and I all gather together for a cookout here and there.
I love this video. I’ve always hated the idea that people are too good for small talk. It’s so important for building relationships and starting conversations. I especially cannot stand it when people assume the worst about people who won’t jump straight into deep topics with strangers.
I agree. Small talk is very important. It's a good skill to have, even for professional settings! It's always nice to start something like an interview with small talk if appropriate. You come off as friendly and outgoing, and it can help you scope out the attitude of the interviewer as well. Weather or traffic are always good topics, but try to avoid things like politics or family so you don't risk offending someone or them ranting.
This is one of those "classic" videos on the internet that should be watched by everyone. I come here at least once a year, and I'm NEVER disappointed!
my new favorite channel. love your stuff dude. it'ssss kinda like listening to myself talk? about stuff i don't really talk about. good philosophy jams
I live in a different country, so people usually ask where I'm from. I tell them and they always act impressed, "uhhh Budapest. it's such a nice city." You've been to Budapest? - I continue. in case yes, I ask how they spent their time there, in case no, I just tell stuff like "if you ever visit, try xyz food/hot spring baths/ruin pubs". in both cases the next topic traveling, food, culture, then I ask "btw have you ever tried DMT?"
I'm actually noticing the growth in my social relationship with my barista. It's great having someone that I see almost every day and have a nicer conversation than just talking about weather. Now the awkward part is leaving the conversation because I have to get to work or someone showed up to get their coffee too.
Often times especially for people that are more Intellectual or think more we tend to want to skip over the seemingly "unesccesary" steps in life. Alot of the times the "unecessary", "monotonous", or down right boring tasks or conversations tend to add discipline to our life. As a person who typically wants the fastest path between point a and point b I have learned to realize that the slow process is still significant and necessary especially when dealing with other humans that value that. We will never influence or grow as a society if we never take other peoples perspectives, values and ideas into consideration, and that is the uncomfortable truth we need to understand.
My brother once visited me at school. I introduced him to one of my roommates and then went to the bathroom. By the time I got back my roommate was asking my brother if he was religious or not. We both quickly left.
There's another reason we have the same phrases to start conversations, phatic greeting basically a general question to get people on the same page. This is also how two people who don't know each other can ask the other a question about something with little to no context.
i think small talk is too meaningless, but it doesn't mean every conversation has to be "big talk". small conversations can be real, engaging interactions. if someone says "great weather, right?", and you answer "yes", but you hate the heat - that's a dead seed. "phew, gotta tell ya' it's a lil' hot for me!" would be a real response, so a good faith attempt at engagement. what do you think?
Wow all jokes aside, this guy is actually speaking facts. I’ve always had a hard time going deep it’s nice to know that all I need to do sometimes is to try
I’ll be honest guy one time i skipped small talk with someone before going to play some magic the gathering we talker for a hours about the mason brothers, lovecraft, the order of nine angel and about spiritisme this shit was awesome and at the end we where like bro i appreciate the conversation and we need to do it again and we did !!🤣😂
The analogy with the runway and the plane are great. Somthimes you have to follow a path but there is a Pilot. If the pilot wants to pull up early or take a sharp turn then take off through the field, they can. No one says its a good idea, but you could. Just like stabing people. Bad idea, but you could
The problem is that for us autistic people; smalltalk does _NOTHING_ for us; it's just horrible formulaic nonsense that we never really understand.. And as soon as we meet someone who insist on truly surface level smalltalk we know it will never go anywhere, because we've already failed their mind games and we'll never get to talk about anything interesting.
Talking with someone you just met is like being trapped in a bubble. There's only a few things you can talk about them with. But as you continue to talk with them, you can push the edges of the bubble and ask progressively more and more interesting questions. Maybe at first you're talking about the weather. Then you're talking about where you grew up. Then you're talking about your families. Then you're talking about your crazy uncles and then you're talking about whatever else. There's a progression here where you're poking the edge of the bubble each time seeing what their reaction is and continuing or redirecting the conversation based on that.
once in school a senior asked me "whats good man?" and i responded with "nothing". i still remember it every day
Lmao
🏫 bang vibes
What does that phrase mean? English is not my native language.
@@andanom it's a greeting, similar to "what's up". Just a cooler way of saying hello. He asked me "what's good," and I responded with "nothing," so it seemed like I said that nothing was good.
That doesn’t sound awkward at all to me
the chemistry this guy has with himself is insane
nice
Great comment
This is the most accurate comment I’ve ever seen
💀🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Facts bro 🤣
The most imortant rule:
You can't calculate what you're about to say, if you think for a second "maybe tha pigeon over there is not worth talking about", you automatically lose.
Just talk about whatever, if you say something stupid chances are you will make someone laugh and root for you, and over time you will get intuitively better at finding interesting topics
The Tao of Small Talk
trueeeeeee, i had a period where i thought out everything i was gonna say and i was genuinely impressed that other people were able to talk about random shit lmao.
I have such a hard time allowing anything through my “that’s not worth saying” filter.
Got a buddy who is like this, will say stuff on his mind like we’re walking around and he’ll be like “you ever thought how that time when Phil Collins saw that guy who could of saved that other guy from drowning, but he didn’t, and he saw it all and saw him at the concert?” Just out of nowhere not even remotely on subject but things like that make him fun 😅
@@TheMarioMen1 damn, now I gotta look up this Phil collins story
I went to high school with this dude named Doug, and Doug was the easiest guy to get along with. No matter what you talked to him about, he always seemed genuinely interested, and would ask a ton of questions. I kinda picked that up from him, and it makes talking to people so much easier. Just…ask questions. People love a good listener.
Did he work with limu emu?
Thank you for the tip
even more so ppl love talking about themselves and answering ur questions lol
Easiest way to talk to anybody!
what questions do i ask?? i suck at talking
Saying “Gatorade” instead of “retrograde” is 100% fair game
normalize saying penis is in gatorade over venus is in retrograde
Broke: Gatorade ejaculation
Woke: Retrograde ejaculation.
that part killed me, definitely using that when I next think to
It makes equally as much sense either way, as both are entirely meaningless!
it's a full on burn
I was dropping off an Uber order the other day and said “enjoy your meal” to which the guy responded “thanks, you too.” I could feel his pain without even looking back at him as I walked back to my car.
That guy was was definitely paranoid about you knowing that hes high
You should've joined him and eat the food with him
@@AlphaQHard Lmao
NEVER LOOK BACK
@@AlphaQHard op's situation happened to me a few days ago on the other end and i can confirm. i was paranoid about the doordasher knowing i was high
i love how organic the conversations on this channel feel, makes it very easy to listen to without getting lost or disengaged
Ik, I'm high as fuck now, but this guy speaks so well
@@psicogames5509 OMG I wanted to answer the same thing! I'm so destroyed but I can follow so well if it's him 👀
@@psicogames5509 makes way too much sense when your high
@@aidanfrombach6989 at that day I was high on acid and weed. I was lmao and understanding and relating to everything lol
@@psicogames5509 dude thats me rn wtf
I had the thought about “I hate small talk, it’s so boring and goes no where”. But this video changed my whole perspective.
“Small talk is like a social lubricant.” Is got to be one of the funniest and accurate metaphors I’ve ever heard 😂😂😂
thats a simile brah
@@sim392 lmao
“You gotta lube up”😂
calm down.
like alcohol
absolutely loved the “planting seeds” part, simply poetic.
Wow my social anxiety has dissipated
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Good
fuck your anxiety.
wow my autism vanished
That’s what you say til you’re in public😂
Awkwardness is a necessary part of human interaction and communication honestly. Sometimes shit just gets awkward, even with the most socially adept people. The key is to just move on with the conversation and not think about it too hard
This guy just changed the way I think about establishing relationships and I was lucky enough to find his channel before it inevitably explodes.
yeah i’m definitely that guy 😂
Frrr this channel really is a hidden gem
We’ve been needing something like this for far too long and now it’s finally here and we’re all gonna enjoy every bit of it
He has fair views but I was shocked to see only 300k subscribers. He's definitely gonna blow up soon
@@youjustlostthegame4418 for sure!!! One of his vids has like 5Mil views lmaoooo
This guy has really high emotional intelligence
Underrated comment
I agree COMPLETELY. My one goal in life to to spread my seed as much as possible, and this is another way to do that. Thank you!
What kind of seed?😳
@@NootaBoot2007 : )
What is the other way😎
That was my goal too, son!
“This is the way” 😂
Small talk is the conversational equivalent of smiling and making eye contact. It's not deep or anything, but it lets the other person know you're friendly and interested in their general state of being. Trying to skip that would be like making someone take out their earbuds to talk to you, but then just rambling at them without ever looking up at their face.
Be fine if people actually knew how to read fucking body language. It's like one year ago I'm waiting in line, very long line. There's a woman behind me talking to me in a friendly manner, not once did I turn around or say anything back to her. Basically it's my turn, after I get what I wanted, it's her turn to step up, she goes, it was nice talking to you. It's not something she said in a like consending tone, she honestly thought I gave a shit. The world needs more self awareness.
As an Autistic person, this has helped me understand small talk GREATLY, thank you so much!
lol L
@@AceBeamedYou Is that funny because he is autistic (not mad just curious)
genuinely, me too
@@TheePotatoGoblin sweet, glad I'm not the only one
@@AceBeamedYou 🤡
my old boss used to randomly comment on things, stuff i’d usually sort of agree with, crack a joke about and we’d carry on; at first, very awkward “talking to my boss” moments, that slowly grew more comfortable, until one day we ended up spending 2 hours talking about our views on world history, his unbelievable amazing stories of all the people he’s met, and our shared love for making music, now we’re more or less best friends, we talk most weeks and i haven’t worked at that job in a long time
I LOVE THIS GUY i came here thinking it was gonna be a more comedic video and during the first minute or so all i could think was "small talk is actually good if you don't treat it as small talk and kinda just stay in the present conversation" and then you literally explained it in the same kind of manner i was thinking just like u did with your "7 levels of being high" vid where you talked about being able to hear your thoughts more clearly. If i ever had the chance to have a conversation with you I would take it and you're definitely going to blow up when more people find this gold
Same with me. He is REALLY good at explaining random things.
This has to be the best advice I've ever gotten about smalltalk. I tend to be very socially anxious to the point that even when I actually manage to engage in small talk I'm sweating buckets because I think I sound so stupid. It's just a cool idea that if I keep having these conversations it'll get less uncomfortable with the people that I started them with. It's comforting in a sense so thank you dude.
This channel is a hidden gem.
Facts
Fr
True
Mostley true
can agree
Bruh this fucking vid did more to clear this shit up for me than like 6 years of therapy, thanks man
Man. Watch these almost all the time and I ain’t saying it enough I guess. These animations and this dudes narrative is just off the charts 🙌🏽😂 keep it up
Thank you bro 🙏🙏
@@MostlyTrue you rock
@@MostlyTrue These are awesome! Also, I was wondering because our channels have a few things in common, if you'd like to do a collab at some point? Maybe go on each others channels or something, if not, that's cool too.
I’m high as hell and was the 420th like on this comment. Trippy
@Mostly True you are hilarious and deeply wise and insightful, love your channel!
As an introvert, this hit ma soul. Changed my perspective even. You got yourself a new sub man
"you know anything about animal spirits?" this shit has me dying ☠️
Glad I live in Czechia, it's just an unwritten rule here that you don't talk to anyone. Not in line at the store, not on the bus, especially if you have to sit together cause all other seats are taken. You just get their attention by making some conspicuous hand gesture, once they look at you, you point at the seat, if they nod you sit down. If you're by the window and you want to get off, you just start loudly shuffling around with your bag or just generally move around in your seat.
The ultimate win is if you manage to do all of that without finding out what the other one's voice sounds like. We just know that small talk sucks, we don't know each other, so it's awkward as hell and just generally try to make each other the least uncomfortable we can.
I live in perpetual small talk. I am a gas station clerk. All I ever fuckin talk about is the weather, how fuckin hot it is or how fuckin cold it is. Or whatever horrid thing is on the news over and over and over.
But….every now and again. Out of the hundreds I see a day. A few return, and have a conversation.
It’s beautiful. We find that we relate on so many things. Video games. Weeds. Other stuff.
But ultimately, out of the hundreds of interactions I have a day, because I ask the person how they were today, a few answer honestly. And that’s the highlight of my day. That thing I learned about a regular. Who may turn into a friend. Who may turn into family.
All these things have happened. Many times over. And this video that you made, made me realize the highlight of my job.
The people.
You can definitely start with a big question! That's how you find who may be a potential friend...
The seed analogy actually made me want to be more social in my daily life
I hope you grow a beautiful garden 😁
Your social lubricant analogy for small talk and how weird it is to just dive right into a deep conversation with someone you don’t even know is actually really fucking good. There are so many times when either myself or someone else has skipped that part and it’s difficult to pinpoint exactly what was so weird about a conversation that otherwise seemed benign, but that hit the nail on the head. Nothing about the conversation itself is that bizarre it’s the fact that you barely know the person and they’re talking about shit you’d talk about with someone you’ve known for a bit.
Your channel is so underrated for such good quality content, thanks for the senseful video mr. from R/teenagers
Fam, really appreciate the kind words. Glad you liked it
Dude is gonna skyrocket lol
@@loudpackmen024 man deserves it too
FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT small talk is actually important and necessary and it doesnt have it be a mind gripping 5D game of chess its just genuinely trying to talk and have a connection with someone no matter how surface level it is, the fact that you're speaking is cool and it'll open the door for more interaction that builds up rapport and trust iTS IMPORTANT GUYS
But I don’t want to dang it
@@timmiller1 u dont have a choice in a society based on social animals
@@rns9644 the fuck I don't 😂
yeah I've finally gotten over my hatred of small talk. When I was younger I was all smug about hating it, probably because that felt better than admitting I sucked at it. As I've gotten older, I've realized that life is made up of small stuff as well as all that deep stuff, and it's all meaningful if you think about it.
I guess it depends on the context. It’s necessary in an environment where you’re “forced” (for lack of a better term) to be around the same people; work, school, etc. I don’t see any use for it in an elevator or a line at the supermarket though.
This should be taught to all children at school!
honestly thank u for putting small talk this way because i rlly hate it and never understood the point because i just do not know what to say .. it felt superficial especially people asking how i was when i was really bad but i knew the real answer was not what people wanted to hear kinda thing? but i can kinda understand the building trust and social lubricant thing
As a cashier I feel terrible for interacting with everyone. I have horrible, awful social anxiety in any other situation but I find it so easy to interact as a cashier because I've had some cashiers make my day infinitely better and I try to do the same for other people... But at the same time I feel like no matter what I do I'm just burdening everyone I try interacting with, especially when they respond even slightly negatively. Ugh.
Love the video though. I can heavily relate.
I don't understand the thought process behind "burdening them"
I'm a cashier too, with similar mental health issues. I find the job somewhat fulfilling! Especially everyday regulars. I end up being paid to chit chat all day
I do see some upset people from time to time, but theyre never upset by conversation alone. Try to ensure you leave the conversation able to stay open or be ended by them if they don't want to talk
@@Brunetteaccus
It’s just anxiety man. My sister can sit and ask me for 10 minutes if she looks and smells ok even if she’s already checked multiple times
0:25 seconds in and I'm dying, the figures tearing themselves in half is a hilarious take on embarrassment. Your vids are comedic treasures my guy 💀
Thanks man, I spent a lotta time thinking of different ways to portray that one haha
@@MostlyTrue it worked, as I often feel as if I could rip myself in half after giving a non-response.
Little socially anxious me was expecting to relate to small talk slander, but instead got a nice lesson in the value of investing in small talk and the meaningfulness of “meaningless” interactions :) makes me feel so much better about things!! 💗
Honestly, I've known a guy who works in a local shop for around 6 months or so, but I'm acryally devastated that hes leaving.
It's not like heartbreak or loss, but I guess it's acknowledging I'm losing a sense of friendship but I'm so proud of him for bettering his life.
Good Luck Naz x
Man you really flew that analogy into the ground.
I like the analogy of a conversation being a tennis match; you and your conversation partner sling sentences back and forth with the goal being a well maintained rally throughout the conversation. If you think of "scoring a point" as "closing the conversation" you can think of hurling an insult they don't have a come back to as the equivalent to just slamming the ball into the opposite corner to your opponent, shutting down the rally.
When the rally is going strong and you have a feel for the person you are conversing with, you will find it much easier to get into that flow state of a good back and forth much more easily.
In my country we don't even look at strangers in public places.
2:49 has my cracking up. Mercury in Gatorade 😂😂😂
I’m so happy I found this channel. It’s super relatable and calms my anxiety especially being high and paranoid. Universal experiences are real lol. The future is bright for this channel! 💕💕
It's like this. I've been pretty shy in my teen years, but by 17 i read a great book about body language and surface mind reading, that book changed me because I began to see small-talk as an experiment or testing for a while and I learned a lot about how people communicate, eventually i learned to behave myself accordingly to the other person's vibes now that is great lubricant and now 10 years later of experience i begin to challenge the social interaction using all that i learn about people i can locate their passion subjects and also sometimes challenge their views comfortably because nothing sparks meaningful conversation like thinking different and also Beeing "lubricated" enough to talk about all the little details to why things are different for us through stories and deep-talk now that can be also a great bounce back to agree on core elements and then understanding of each other is made and once you understand each other you can make each other social "favours" which makes you sometimes bond even more with that person.
zyriuz2 what was the name of the book?
This video genuinely taught me something and helped me understand conversations and relationships better
Nah bro yo content is elite fr🤣
Ngl this video made me realize some major mistakes in the way I engage with and think about others. one’s never too old to fix himself. thanks bro, I appreciate it.
I love the planting seeds message. It makes me feel really good, i'm learning how to be social and it really relates to how I'm feeling. I was never good at being social, and small talk helps me. Thanks for making this (:
I was a server for over 20 years. I would say i am the small talk master. And it's true some of my regular customers i only had small talk with over a period of time built into meaningful conversations.
lol I resonate with this to my soul 😂 i used to have really bad social anxiety and could barely “human.”
I’d be like “am I standing right?” “What should I do w/ my hands?” “my legs are too spread!“ “oh wait, am I moving too much?” “They can see!” “THEY CAN TELL IM NERVOUS”
What eventually helped me was self improvement/ love (took a while), practicing basic social skills (felt so weird at first), & the realization that I have to be around people forever (even if they’re small interactions like a cashier) so why not learn the basics?
Hope this helps anyone who feels like it’s impossible, because I thought it was too
I have the same problem at 20 years old LOL
I've always thought small talk, as a nuisance, but you know what, you made me actually think twice about my stand on this. Thanks.
This is actually... Really meaningful. Thanks for the video man
Each one of these I'm dying laughing. Usually I wait longer to subscribe but I don't want to miss any. Cheers!
Thanks man, much appreciated!
I have a new appreciation for small talk now. Thank you. Especially the idea of planting seeds for later conversations.
What I hate THE MOST is when someone starts a small talk, proceeds to make it "not so small" and when I try to be nice and go with the flow and respond in full sentences and not 1 or 2 words, they look at me funny like "do I even know you? Why are you talking so much to me?" Man get the hell outta here!
They're having a monologue and just want people to listen and act interested. Free therapy I suppose. Similar is when strangers say how are you doing when they don't want to hear anything but "fine, you?", if not just getting a nod.
@@liama4199 “hows it going”
“Good, yourself?”
*blank stare*
@@Will-sv9mf still better than a hostile stare. "You lose something, pal?!"
All relationships whether merely verbal physical or even deeper, are like having a dance together. Anyone who knows how to dance understands that when the music starts you don't just immediately run over to the other person and toss them in the air and do a twirl, but instead you have to build up the energy to the right moment. there is a flow and a Harmony to everything
One of the things wrong with small talk is, it has a tendency to stay small or not go anywhere.
Man in the elevator: how was your weekend
Me: good, how was your weekend
Man in the elevator: um, it was ok
We get off the elevator, he goes left, I go right. What was the purpose in that interaction? I mean, now that he knows I had a good weekend and I know he had an ok weekend, what happens next? What's the end game?
Nothing like being up at 3am and stumbling across a video that reveals how socially incompetent I am :)
I think what I hate about it, is that there's far more quantity than quality which makes every instance of small talk feel like a waste of time, which makes talking in general feel like a waste of time. To relate to the seed analogy, what's the point of planting seeds if I know 90% will never grow?
hahahahaha "except for when mercury is in gatorade" killed me. I'm an astrophysics major and I'm gonna start saying "gatorade" instead of retrograde now to throw people off. thank you for this
Silence is better than a boring conversation.
X: How much deep stoner talk do you want?
Me: Yes.
EXACTLY!!! I really don’t like when people say “I don’t like small talk.” To new that shows little understanding of social interaction and maybe even no desire to develop a true friendship. Everything starts with small talk.
Damn that's kinda pretty fuckin true
Yes, most people want friends (including me) but don’t have it in them to actually get there. It’s rough lol
Man that Conversational Chess part hit right at home hahaha. every interaction I have as a cashier at target is just mixed with canned scenarios, waiting for that one person to off the societal script… to which I’ll then just have to awkwardly laugh and continue scanning their groceries… not knowing whether or not they even said something funny or even worse… asked a question. New sub right here, these videos are amazing
“Small talk is like a social lubricant” 😂
small talk to meaningful conversations is exactly what level progression is
the more you level up on an attribute the better it gets
this is why i just make new friends when im drunk
Bro came here from r/teenagers thinking this would be some 1 minute meme but this was actually pretty nice. You deserve more subs mate
gotta love the stick man content when you are high 😮💨
So, I’ve been heart-on-sleeve, honesty-is-best-policy my whole life pretty much, and it has been somewhat to my detriment, but much more to my benefit, in my opinion. Anyway, when I do small talk, it is inevitable for me to dip into the more “not small talk” topics- in my estimation, because I don’t mind divulging much of myself.
This tends to put people off, somewhat. At times, however, it seems to endear them to me.
I have many more people in my life who care about me than I deserve. Granted, most of them are family, but I have a couple nonwork friends and my coworkers and I all gather together for a cookout here and there.
I love this video. I’ve always hated the idea that people are too good for small talk. It’s so important for building relationships and starting conversations. I especially cannot stand it when people assume the worst about people who won’t jump straight into deep topics with strangers.
Found this channel with an ad, you've earned my sub, your channel is gonna be big soon
I agree. Small talk is very important. It's a good skill to have, even for professional settings! It's always nice to start something like an interview with small talk if appropriate. You come off as friendly and outgoing, and it can help you scope out the attitude of the interviewer as well. Weather or traffic are always good topics, but try to avoid things like politics or family so you don't risk offending someone or them ranting.
Literally just inspired me to have more small talk throughout my day
This is one of those "classic" videos on the internet that should be watched by everyone. I come here at least once a year, and I'm NEVER disappointed!
Im pretty high on the autism spectrum so small talk is like a poison for me. I avoid it at all costs.
so how was your day?
my new favorite channel. love your stuff dude. it'ssss kinda like listening to myself talk? about stuff i don't really talk about. good philosophy jams
I live in a different country, so people usually ask where I'm from. I tell them and they always act impressed, "uhhh Budapest. it's such a nice city." You've been to Budapest? - I continue.
in case yes, I ask how they spent their time there, in case no, I just tell stuff like "if you ever visit, try xyz food/hot spring baths/ruin pubs". in both cases the next topic traveling, food, culture, then I ask "btw have you ever tried DMT?"
I'm actually noticing the growth in my social relationship with my barista. It's great having someone that I see almost every day and have a nicer conversation than just talking about weather. Now the awkward part is leaving the conversation because I have to get to work or someone showed up to get their coffee too.
Often times especially for people that are more Intellectual or think more we tend to want to skip over the seemingly "unesccesary" steps in life. Alot of the times the "unecessary", "monotonous", or down right boring tasks or conversations tend to add discipline to our life. As a person who typically wants the fastest path between point a and point b I have learned to realize that the slow process is still significant and necessary especially when dealing with other humans that value that. We will never influence or grow as a society if we never take other peoples perspectives, values and ideas into consideration, and that is the uncomfortable truth we need to understand.
This dude is funny AND he has good vibes. Best channel I've stumbled across in a long time
Honestly Daryl sounds like a fun guy to small talk with. xD
"Mercury is in gatorade" im literally fucking dead 💀💀🤣🤣
This is exactly the kind of content that scratches a VERY specific part of my ADHD brain. Every video on this channel is amazing.
My brother once visited me at school. I introduced him to one of my roommates and then went to the bathroom. By the time I got back my roommate was asking my brother if he was religious or not. We both quickly left.
“Conversations are a team effort”
Try telling that to a cokehead
I love the podcast dynamic with yourself. Incredibly well done!
Yknow I feel this channel going big
There's another reason we have the same phrases to start conversations, phatic greeting basically a general question to get people on the same page. This is also how two people who don't know each other can ask the other a question about something with little to no context.
i think small talk is too meaningless, but it doesn't mean every conversation has to be "big talk".
small conversations can be real, engaging interactions. if someone says "great weather, right?", and you answer "yes", but you hate the heat - that's a dead seed.
"phew, gotta tell ya' it's a lil' hot for me!" would be a real response, so a good faith attempt at engagement. what do you think?
You don't know how much this video helped me. Thank you man!
Wow all jokes aside, this guy is actually speaking facts. I’ve always had a hard time going deep it’s nice to know that all I need to do sometimes is to try
Dude, you are so wise. this is so refreshing
came here from reddit, that was pretty good! you earned another sub
I have the exact opposite experience. My runway is built on some deep conversation of mutual interest, and then all the small talk becomes tolerable.
IM actually so fucking upset that your channel is so underrated
Thank you! That means a lot
Whatcha doing and How you doing are the bane of these type of people
I’ll be honest guy one time i skipped small talk with someone before going to play some magic the gathering we talker for a hours about the mason brothers, lovecraft, the order of nine angel and about spiritisme this shit was awesome and at the end we where like bro i appreciate the conversation and we need to do it again and we did !!🤣😂
“When mercury is in Gatorade” dude I Fuckin died
The analogy with the runway and the plane are great. Somthimes you have to follow a path but there is a Pilot. If the pilot wants to pull up early or take a sharp turn then take off through the field, they can. No one says its a good idea, but you could. Just like stabing people. Bad idea, but you could
Stranger: Nice weather we're having.
Me: **stabs** Sorry, I don't like small talk...
I've been always saying "smalltalk sucks and brings nothing" this has changed how I think about it and that I should practice smalltalk more often
The problem is that for us autistic people; smalltalk does _NOTHING_ for us; it's just horrible formulaic nonsense that we never really understand.. And as soon as we meet someone who insist on truly surface level smalltalk we know it will never go anywhere, because we've already failed their mind games and we'll never get to talk about anything interesting.
Talking with someone you just met is like being trapped in a bubble. There's only a few things you can talk about them with. But as you continue to talk with them, you can push the edges of the bubble and ask progressively more and more interesting questions. Maybe at first you're talking about the weather. Then you're talking about where you grew up. Then you're talking about your families. Then you're talking about your crazy uncles and then you're talking about whatever else. There's a progression here where you're poking the edge of the bubble each time seeing what their reaction is and continuing or redirecting the conversation based on that.