Self-Sabotage: Why You Do It and How To STOP
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- Опубліковано 4 лип 2024
- The vast majority of clients I work with don't even WANT to close the deal (in sales OR dating), and so they fail. Let's get to the bottom of this self-sabotaging mindset so you can get RESULTS socially.
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In 2003 I began professionally teaching clients how to competently socialize with strangers and achieve amazing results. Over the last two decades, I’ve conducted live programs every weekend in over 30 countries and 100 cities around the world, where I demonstrate these skills live on the spot, push clients beyond their conditioned boundaries, and provide descriptive and actionable feedback. As one of the top 5 most experienced coaches on the planet, I’ve helped over 10,000 clients achieve their goals. I strive for authenticity in my teachings and am highly passionate about creating deep, lasting, identity-level change for the students I work with.
In 2017 I created RESONATOR, the professional guide to healthy powerful and attractive vocal projection technique.
In 2020 I released Charisma Mastery, a unique and useful way for you to isolate and analyze the components of charisma and synthesize them in learning to have successful interactions that lead to powerful business and social connections.
My latest program is Charisma Mentoring: an 8 week program that exercises all areas of your communication, removes stifling inhibitions, and makes people love you right off the bat.
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You might not want to hear what i say in this video, but you probably need to. Quit going out to "practice" and start going out to GET RESULTS. Join me on bootcamp: www.jeffyinperson.com
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You are as humble as 10 years ago plus you are even better at communicating man. Inspiring!
I signed up for your September Bootcamp in September in Scottsdale. Very stoked.
What month is that?
@@knighterrant7212 lmaoo I think maybe September
It's so good to see your direction going back to where you came from and where your strength lies - teaching pickup and not watering it down. I really enjoy hearimg words like "pulling", "approaching", "laycount" or "RSD" out of your mouth again. 🙏😎 I really liked the raw and unfiltered Jeffy from back in the days. The punkguy of Pickup. Keeping it real, my mentor! 🍻
Jeffy is like the Tony Stark of pick up
more like bruce banner imo but thx
17:37 "once you good at it, you probably cry more"
This is so true .. I remember the first time I’ve pulled a girl after 30 mins from the street - after she left I got in the shower and cried like a little girl, thinking what an asshole I’ve been my whole life being lonely while I could’ve done this every day of the week..
@@charthers8903 Of course, I believe it. I just didnt know how to express that, that line "Killed me". Made me laugh. Im a spanish speaker.
youll cry more for many different reasons
@@charthers8903 I loved how this sounds.
Combine attraction with comfort and logistics. The act of being relaxed and positive while dealing with her excuses not to go with you, and you sexualise the conversation, will cause attraction.
I can sympathize with the guy who left to get his drink. I once had a girl completely naked on top of my naked body, and we didn’t end up having sex, because I froze.
I don’t recognize that side of me anymore, but it serves as a reminder. Social conditioning has a powerful effect.
Still putting out gold. Nice throwback to the old "chicken feet" intro 😂
Beautiful watch! 🔥🔥🔥
NICK DIAZ
Thank you man
You're welcome!
13:30 most guys here wont get the amount of "filtering" you had to do to get your message out and provide great content and step by step advice / . miss the OG days .. but thats the waay now.
The Sound crackles. Please just use one of the "boring old fashioned" Rode or Sure mic to put on or clamp to the desk :/ Its sad, cause this content is really "4K" and great to listen (!) to
I've tried to explain this on reddit many times but people just get triggered AF and attack me and call me a "negative defeatist incel" lol. They dont understand that the odds are simply stacked against you as a guy. I think many guys dont know this and end up blaming themselves for a low success rate.
It follows the exact same pattern of a sales funnel. And you just have to do whatever is in your control to mitigate attrition at each stage of the funnel. The retention rate is low by nature. Chemistry is rare. That is simply the reality of the situation. Too many people get really uncomfortable and upset acknowldging unfavorable odds. Maybe they're too sensitive. But you cannot properly address the issue if you cannot objecyively assess the situation.
Every time you get disheartened by Reddit comments, remember that the people replying to you are the most laughable obese neckbearded discord mods you can envision. Their existence is its own punishment lol
@@CharismaMastery JEFFY. I used to get disheartened but I quickly learned they have absolutely no idea wtf they're talking about and were too full of themselves to consider the fact that someone else might actually be more knowledgeable than they are on a certain topic. And of course the Internet is full of people like that. Anyway, I've always loved your content and hope I can meet you one day. Keep on keepin' on.
What else do you expect from Reddit? I did an experiment, and posted DBot's post about getting laid off cold approach etc. That's the guy from SoSuave. I received nothing but negativity.
🏆👑
Jeffy how tf do I become as well spoken as you
read books
So 1 in 75 leads to sex for you? Im sure that its more often, Ive seen some infields by RSD. Still, how doesn't that deter, demotivate or confuse you? How arent you getting plagued that youre being a creep or failing hard? I feel like shit tbh after getting dumped or rejected. Like there is no point to my existence. Like I will never feel happy again. I take like months long breaks. Honestly I dont even wanna live and feel that there is no hope. How do you find the positive, I mean... Arent you scared that its just gonna be everyone else like that too and youre just not valuable enough in others' eyes. Rejections are no fun man
a strong sense of self esteem gives one the strength to continue
lol I don’t care because I’m out there fucking terrorizing. You’re making it some story about your life, I’m tearing thru the club having the time of my life
It’s literally the most fun I ever have. It’s like snowboarding in a lucid dream. There’s no other context where you can say and do the things I do in nightlife lol
@@CharismaMastery lmao dope way to put it
@@CharismaMasteryThank you for the response, Jeffy 🙏. I really appreciate you taking the time. I cant ever thank you enough for the geniune, sound advice you've put out over the years. Ive had some successes (sufficient for my liking) directly due to everything that Ive learned from content You, Owen or Julien had created. Your teachings have been very effective.
However I never really enjoyed doing it and Ive always been "faking it". If Im being honest, I would prefer anything that works over something that is pleasant/fun.
Ive gotten results, thats good, however once the chasing is over, Im left for dead. I am not very interested (even at all) in hitting the club or streets once I can spend time with someone I like. And then I become 0 value whatsoever in their eyes, maybe a very distant back-up plan. It tastes bitter to get rejected/passed by a stranger, but it is DEVASTATING when it happens by someone you've had experiences over weeks, months or years. The feeling is that no one ever would see any value in me, that it is impossible to find someone who wishes to invest back or simply that I am a failure. Its not unusual for me to spend entire week without leaving the front door, losing weight living off of canned fish, Im crushed. I sound like someone who needs therapy or that Kenya Grace wrote "Strangers" for me, but what can I do to keep someone who likes me only for the fact I didnt care at first? Its so depressing.
8:30, 9:10, 16:20
what's your logistics checklist? It's fucked me quite a few times... maybe i'm missing something
who are you here with
where do you live
what are you doin after this
CRY MORE IN 24
Love ya bro but if you're pulling 4 out of 5 nights, then you are easily closing 150 girls a year. 400 doesn't add up after 20+ years of going out.
Edit: then you say there are many ways to fuck it up at the house... hahahah, makes sense now. But come on... 75 girls a year then ;)
I rarely go out anymore except on Bootcamp and on those nights I'm there for the students (although I'll still pull sometimes for demo or by accident lol). After a few hundred you sort of dont care anymore lol. Occasionally I'll go out just to prove I can still do it, and on those nights im like "oh yup. still got it" lol
back at my hight of scumbaggery, I could easily do 50 or so a year, going out aggressively 3-4 nights a week
like I said tho, after a certain point, there's nothing to prove anymore and if you keep obsessively going out and racking up body count like that there's probably something wrong with you psychologically.
@@CharismaMastery Thanks for clarifying. You’re the man! Love what you have done for the community.
400 body count that is probably indicative of a pathological problem😂😂 he at least admits it