I've never seen a UA-camr on a No Buy be able to bang out so many well thought out videos on so many No Buy topics... Seriously kudos 👏 you're amazing Alexa. Your content is helping me so much right now!
Do we need original or just realistic, conscious needs/desires? 🎉 I suppose nothing is original in a sense that humans do certain stuff, all humans/all the time. I am 100% positive that channels like yours make me think more about my choices. You made me ask myself why I shop the way I do, why do I feel I need things. This post is somehow chaotic, but what I wanted to say is: no matter if my choice was influenced or not, it should be beneficial for me and me only. Period.
Yes! I totally agree with you, I think the realistic and conscious part is more important than whether they're "original" - but I still enjoyed doing the "thought exercise" of whether the things I want are my own ideas!
So i recently got into books again, after forever and of course ended up refreshing my youtube subcription to suit my current tastes. One of the booktubers i follow spoke of wanting to get the book - 'evergreen' by lydia millen. The name was familiar and indeed i realised she was a youtuber i followed in my mid 20s. I revisted her channel and watched a few of her vlogs as a book wasnt something i associated with her from 2016-2017. And oops did i not fall into the rabbit hole again! Of course she has evolved tremendously, she is a very different person from her latest vlogs and has new interests (hmm.. like most of us really), but oh no no.. what i got pulled into were those hermes bags and i hate myself so much for this but i found myself bookmarking the hermes belt kit two weeks into my rediscovery of her channel. And i luckily caught myself in the act, tapped myself on the head and went, no you will not succumb to lifestyle inflation. You will save for a generous retirement fund and for an emergency fund (All of which is lost now due to some health emergencies of a loved one). But that was also the first time i articulated this desire to get something nicer... like a nicer version of what is necesarily a basic function thing, as lifestyle inflation and i found it fascinating. In essence we lose sight of tomorrows and the idea of saving! My dad and i jointly bought a house last month and the mortgage is tremendously.. i need to buckle down for 5 years yet there i was looking at hermes belts for no good reason! I do not think i want to blame anyone for this, anyone other than me... cause i know Lydia is an influencer/salesagent and yet i succumb despite the full knowledge of the fcat that she is doing a job to earn her bread! I have only me to blame and damn, how fickle does the human mind get.. how dangerously fickle can i get! (Was a bit of a ramble but i find this a safe space to share the slips i saved myself from) In short, i really appreciate the constant conversation-style journaling you do here on youtube, your influence kept me in check this time!
I'm basically an influence-resistant person. I grew up the third child in a household of nine (seven kids, my grandmother, + one foster child, and my parents). I only got something new on Christmas and my birthday, and then it was socks or underwear or a nightgown. All other clothing (even footwear) was handed down from sisters, cousins, and young aunts. If I wanted something of my very own, something that expressed what I felt about myself, I had to pay for it myself. But we got no allowances and no money for good grades. So when I was eleven I started babysitting. At that point I had already taken care of younger kids and done housekeeping my entire life. I had a very good reputation as a baby sitter, because I would not only play with the children and get them to bed on time, I would dust and vacuum living rooms, wash dishes, even iron and mend clothes or wash floors until their parents returned. My mother made me hand over 20% of my earnings (10% tithes, 10% "rent"). It made me understand the concept of paying taxes. I used the rest of my own money to buy patterns and material. I learned how to sew well from reading the patterns and I finally had the skirts and tops that I wanted. At 14 I got a job cleaning a church. At 16 I worked at a print shop and in sales at a department store. I worked every week all through junior high, high school, and college. So I am very careful about what I spend money on. I know what I like and what looks good on me. I listen to advice, but the choice is up to me. Perhaps this sounds very harsh, but I don't regret it. I learned not to waste money, maybe that's the point. "Is this a waste of money?" is perhaps the best test. Don't get me wrong, today I have beautiful clothes and belongings. But just enough to be happy and to know for sure that they really reflect my personality. On the side, one remark struck me in particular: What's wrong with openly loving your family?
I think I'm pretty unhappy with evidence of influence. When I receive gifts of trendy items from well-known brands (think Canada Goose mitts or Lululemon belt bags), I am actually somewhat resistant to using them because I have no desire to look like everyone else. I have also been put off purchasing items of this nature when those around me acquired them. It just felt like I was copying them. I try and let what is available (shopping used means at the right price, roughly in my neighbourhood and the right size or other qualities) dictate what I purchase IF there is something specific I am looking for. One of my favourite recent purchases was a branded, graphic t-shirt from a small business I truly adore. It makes me smile every time I wear it.
Hi Alexa, great content as usual! I recently turned 40 and I'm rediscovering my style as I don't feel comfortable in a lot of the clothes I used to wear like crop tops or leggings for example. But at the same time I'd like to keep my style if I have one. I'd like you to talk about finding your own style in future videos and how to do it without falling into the trap of consumerism and impulse buying or trends... which is where I'm stuck right now.😅
I second this! The majority of my wardrobe is no longer wearable as it was purchased while I was going through a severe illness and had lost a great deal of weight. I have since recovered and have also giving birth to a child and I have neither the desire, nor the ability, to get down to that weight again. A good resource is Hannah Louise Poston. She talks a lot about a small curation of beautiful things, and deciding on what fits into your “lifestyle” first and then deciding in a style/color scheme from there. I personally have found that very helpful.
For me some purchases that might have not been absolutely neccesary but I stand behind still are sport attire that commemorates some of my achievements , like cycling around a huge lake, or running my first half marathon etc. also I think because I have these pierces of sportswear that are very special to me, I don’t have any interest in buying trendy sportswear. Another one is incorporating some Hungarian folk clothing in my wardrobe, although they are embroidered pieces pretty difficult to take care of, but I just have some inner urge to wear them and through this initiate some conversations about my tiny home country living abroad. Otherwise I think I’m pretty practical about curating my wardrobe.
Thanks to HLP I likely have a couple more sweaters than I otherwise would. On the other hand due to her I also have a better idea of what I actually like to wear. The sweaters I do own are in a material that I enjoy wearing (heavy cotton knit), and will be usable for 3/4 of the year where I live. I will get many many years of use out of them. On the more negative end, I have been influenced to buy nail polish, not just because I like how it looks but because on UA-cam I rarely see anyone without a manicure and for some reason it stuck to me that I need manicured nails. I can't even grow long nails practically (viola) and with decent polish at $12 a bottle it's not really a hobby I want to be spending money on. I've also been influenced to buy brow pencils. I never gave much of a thought to how my brows looked but all the beauty gurus do theirs and mine seemed lackluster by comparison. I also got into buying fragrance for awhile due to beauty UA-cam. There's tons more I'm sure...oh hair products. I was really into curly hair UA-cam for awhile. Definitely bought more products than I really needed. Realistically I only go through a couple of styling products a year. Not, like, 10. 😅 I have a lot of bottles that I'll never use up.
I cannot always tell, even with careful thought, whether or not I am going to like something I am influenced to buy. I have to try it to find out. What bothers me is when I am influenced to buy something and I forgot that I don't really like that style or product on me. I have taken to writing down a list of NOs so I don't buy anymore. It's seems odd, but if it has been a long enough time and the person influencing me looks so good in it I will try it again. 🙃
I believe very few things are uninfluenced - because most things I would not even know to want unless I found out about their existance from someone/somewhere. But, I do think it is possible to want things without influence - because inventors exist. Without the human drive to create new items for functional use, or because they have a drive to figure out new uses for items they already have, we would not have any development of new items. And then we would still be living in the stone age. That said, I think we are influenced way too much and developing our new "inventions" way less. I think allowing our creativity within all areas of life to dlourish would lead to us becoming more fullfilled as humans. But, as members of society it would also be silly not to take advantage of other people's great inventions. Imagien a world where the zipper would not exist for example, not all influencing is negative when it leads to garment makers using zippers instead of only using buttons.
If you are a hard working person ( of course this has gradations! ..I did not dig ditches!) maybe it is pretty smart to treat yourself every once in a while so that the sense of lack ( what reward do I get from all this effort?) doesn't build up into resentment! One day I went to Kmart ( like Target?) and bought a lovely pendant necklace for @ $75.00 ? Certainly not a wild occurrence but if you know me - pretty our there!!!
I've never seen a UA-camr on a No Buy be able to bang out so many well thought out videos on so many No Buy topics... Seriously kudos 👏 you're amazing Alexa. Your content is helping me so much right now!
Do we need original or just realistic, conscious needs/desires? 🎉 I suppose nothing is original in a sense that humans do certain stuff, all humans/all the time.
I am 100% positive that channels like yours make me think more about my choices. You made me ask myself why I shop the way I do, why do I feel I need things.
This post is somehow chaotic, but what I wanted to say is: no matter if my choice was influenced or not, it should be beneficial for me and me only. Period.
Yes! I totally agree with you, I think the realistic and conscious part is more important than whether they're "original" - but I still enjoyed doing the "thought exercise" of whether the things I want are my own ideas!
So i recently got into books again, after forever and of course ended up refreshing my youtube subcription to suit my current tastes. One of the booktubers i follow spoke of wanting to get the book - 'evergreen' by lydia millen. The name was familiar and indeed i realised she was a youtuber i followed in my mid 20s. I revisted her channel and watched a few of her vlogs as a book wasnt something i associated with her from 2016-2017. And oops did i not fall into the rabbit hole again! Of course she has evolved tremendously, she is a very different person from her latest vlogs and has new interests (hmm.. like most of us really), but oh no no.. what i got pulled into were those hermes bags and i hate myself so much for this but i found myself bookmarking the hermes belt kit two weeks into my rediscovery of her channel. And i luckily caught myself in the act, tapped myself on the head and went, no you will not succumb to lifestyle inflation. You will save for a generous retirement fund and for an emergency fund (All of which is lost now due to some health emergencies of a loved one). But that was also the first time i articulated this desire to get something nicer... like a nicer version of what is necesarily a basic function thing, as lifestyle inflation and i found it fascinating. In essence we lose sight of tomorrows and the idea of saving! My dad and i jointly bought a house last month and the mortgage is tremendously.. i need to buckle down for 5 years yet there i was looking at hermes belts for no good reason! I do not think i want to blame anyone for this, anyone other than me... cause i know Lydia is an influencer/salesagent and yet i succumb despite the full knowledge of the fcat that she is doing a job to earn her bread! I have only me to blame and damn, how fickle does the human mind get.. how dangerously fickle can i get! (Was a bit of a ramble but i find this a safe space to share the slips i saved myself from)
In short, i really appreciate the constant conversation-style journaling you do here on youtube, your influence kept me in check this time!
I'm basically an influence-resistant person. I grew up the third child in a household of nine (seven kids, my grandmother, + one foster child, and my parents). I only got something new on Christmas and my birthday, and then it was socks or underwear or a nightgown. All other clothing (even footwear) was handed down from sisters, cousins, and young aunts. If I wanted something of my very own, something that expressed what I felt about myself, I had to pay for it myself. But we got no allowances and no money for good grades. So when I was eleven I started babysitting. At that point I had already taken care of younger kids and done housekeeping my entire life. I had a very good reputation as a baby sitter, because I would not only play with the children and get them to bed on time, I would dust and vacuum living rooms, wash dishes, even iron and mend clothes or wash floors until their parents returned. My mother made me hand over 20% of my earnings (10% tithes, 10% "rent"). It made me understand the concept of paying taxes. I used the rest of my own money to buy patterns and material. I learned how to sew well from reading the patterns and I finally had the skirts and tops that I wanted. At 14 I got a job cleaning a church. At 16 I worked at a print shop and in sales at a department store. I worked every week all through junior high, high school, and college.
So I am very careful about what I spend money on. I know what I like and what looks good on me. I listen to advice, but the choice is up to me.
Perhaps this sounds very harsh, but I don't regret it. I learned not to waste money, maybe that's the point. "Is this a waste of money?" is perhaps the best test. Don't get me wrong, today I have beautiful clothes and belongings. But just enough to be happy and to know for sure that they really reflect my personality.
On the side, one remark struck me in particular: What's wrong with openly loving your family?
I think I'm pretty unhappy with evidence of influence. When I receive gifts of trendy items from well-known brands (think Canada Goose mitts or Lululemon belt bags), I am actually somewhat resistant to using them because I have no desire to look like everyone else. I have also been put off purchasing items of this nature when those around me acquired them. It just felt like I was copying them. I try and let what is available (shopping used means at the right price, roughly in my neighbourhood and the right size or other qualities) dictate what I purchase IF there is something specific I am looking for. One of my favourite recent purchases was a branded, graphic t-shirt from a small business I truly adore. It makes me smile every time I wear it.
I have your videos downloaded to play today. Im so behind 🤦♀️ Happy Thanksgiving!
No worries! Happy Thanksgiving to you too!!!
Hi Alexa, great content as usual! I recently turned 40 and I'm rediscovering my style as I don't feel comfortable in a lot of the clothes I used to wear like crop tops or leggings for example. But at the same time I'd like to keep my style if I have one. I'd like you to talk about finding your own style in future videos and how to do it without falling into the trap of consumerism and impulse buying or trends... which is where I'm stuck right now.😅
I second this! The majority of my wardrobe is no longer wearable as it was purchased while I was going through a severe illness and had lost a great deal of weight. I have since recovered and have also giving birth to a child and I have neither the desire, nor the ability, to get down to that weight again. A good resource is Hannah Louise Poston. She talks a lot about a small curation of beautiful things, and deciding on what fits into your “lifestyle” first and then deciding in a style/color scheme from there. I personally have found that very helpful.
For me some purchases that might have not been absolutely neccesary but I stand behind still are sport attire that commemorates some of my achievements , like cycling around a huge lake, or running my first half marathon etc. also I think because I have these pierces of sportswear that are very special to me, I don’t have any interest in buying trendy sportswear. Another one is incorporating some Hungarian folk clothing in my wardrobe, although they are embroidered pieces pretty difficult to take care of, but I just have some inner urge to wear them and through this initiate some conversations about my tiny home country living abroad. Otherwise I think I’m pretty practical about curating my wardrobe.
Thanks to HLP I likely have a couple more sweaters than I otherwise would. On the other hand due to her I also have a better idea of what I actually like to wear. The sweaters I do own are in a material that I enjoy wearing (heavy cotton knit), and will be usable for 3/4 of the year where I live. I will get many many years of use out of them. On the more negative end, I have been influenced to buy nail polish, not just because I like how it looks but because on UA-cam I rarely see anyone without a manicure and for some reason it stuck to me that I need manicured nails. I can't even grow long nails practically (viola) and with decent polish at $12 a bottle it's not really a hobby I want to be spending money on. I've also been influenced to buy brow pencils. I never gave much of a thought to how my brows looked but all the beauty gurus do theirs and mine seemed lackluster by comparison. I also got into buying fragrance for awhile due to beauty UA-cam. There's tons more I'm sure...oh hair products. I was really into curly hair UA-cam for awhile. Definitely bought more products than I really needed. Realistically I only go through a couple of styling products a year. Not, like, 10. 😅 I have a lot of bottles that I'll never use up.
I cannot always tell, even with careful thought, whether or not I am going to like something I am influenced to buy. I have to try it to find out. What bothers me is when I am influenced to buy something and I forgot that I don't really like that style or product on me. I have taken to writing down a list of NOs so I don't buy anymore. It's seems odd, but if it has been a long enough time and the person influencing me looks so good in it I will try it again. 🙃
I believe very few things are uninfluenced - because most things I would not even know to want unless I found out about their existance from someone/somewhere.
But, I do think it is possible to want things without influence - because inventors exist. Without the human drive to create new items for functional use, or because they have a drive to figure out new uses for items they already have, we would not have any development of new items. And then we would still be living in the stone age.
That said, I think we are influenced way too much and developing our new "inventions" way less. I think allowing our creativity within all areas of life to dlourish would lead to us becoming more fullfilled as humans.
But, as members of society it would also be silly not to take advantage of other people's great inventions. Imagien a world where the zipper would not exist for example, not all influencing is negative when it leads to garment makers using zippers instead of only using buttons.
Alexa is listening to me & I am shook 😮 how did you read my thoughts aka my internet search history? Sorry wrong Alexa but still
If you are a hard working person ( of course this has gradations! ..I did not dig ditches!) maybe it is pretty smart to treat yourself every once in a while so that the sense of lack ( what reward do I get from all this effort?) doesn't build up into resentment! One day I went to Kmart ( like Target?) and bought a lovely pendant necklace for @ $75.00 ? Certainly not a wild occurrence but if you know me - pretty our there!!!
" out" not "our!"