Confronting Doubt and Seeking Connection: A Satsang with Ramesh Balsekar 2007-12-24

In this profound satsang session, a participant named Emily shares her deep struggles with doubt and the fear of failing to connect with the divine. Ramesh Balsekar guides her through a conversation that explores the nature of the self, the illusion of separateness, and the essence of peace through acceptance.
1. Emily’s Struggle with Doubt and Fear of Failure:
- Emily expresses her recurring fear of not being on the right path and the possibility of never reaching the ultimate understanding. She describes feeling seized by doubt, leading to deep suffering and a sense of failure in her spiritual journey.
- Ramesh encourages Emily to voice her concerns, acknowledging the intensity of her emotions.
2. Desire for Continuous Connection with God:
- Emily speaks about her longing to feel a constant connection with God, akin to holding God's hand throughout her life. She laments the moments when this connection feels broken, causing her distress and a sense of disconnection.
- Ramesh listens attentively, identifying the root of her anxiety as the belief in her existence as a separate entity.
3. Understanding the Illusion of Separateness:
- Ramesh explains that the belief in a separate self, which desires connection with God, is an illusion. He emphasizes that God or the Source is the only reality, and the individual ego, like Emily, exists only as long as the body-mind organism is alive.
- He reassures Emily that the sense of separateness is temporary and that the true self is always connected to the Source, whether she consciously feels it or not.
4. The Concept of Peace of Mind:
- Ramesh introduces the idea that what Emily is truly seeking is peace of mind, which she equates with feeling God’s presence. He explains that peace of mind comes from the realization that one’s connection with God is never broken, even when it seems otherwise.
- He encourages Emily to find solace in the understanding that her connection to the divine is constant, even in moments of doubt or pain.
5. Breaking the Connection:
- Ramesh points out that the connection with God feels broken whenever Emily does not accept what is happening in the present moment. He explains that comparing, judging, or resisting what is, are the main causes of this perceived disconnection.
- He advises Emily to accept every moment as it is, without judgment, as a way to maintain the sense of connection with the divine.
6. The Illusion of Failure:
- When Emily expresses her fear of failing in her spiritual journey, Ramesh responds by saying that it doesn’t matter if she feels like she is failing all her life. He explains that at the moment of death, the ego merges with the impersonal consciousness, regardless of how much understanding one has attained during life.
- He uses the metaphor of a river merging into the ocean to illustrate that all individual identities dissolve into the Source, where distinctions between success and failure are meaningless.
7. The Role of Free Will and Destiny:
- Ramesh delves into the complex relationship between free will and destiny. He asserts that while humans appear to have free will, the outcomes of their actions are always beyond their control, governed by cosmic law.
- He advises Emily to continue living her life as if she has free will but to understand that everything unfolds according to divine will, alleviating the burden of responsibility for outcomes.
8. Practical Advice on Parenting:
- Another participant, Shila, shares her concerns about her role as a mother, particularly her expectations for her son. Ramesh advises her to exercise her free will in guiding her children but to remember that every person has their own destiny that cannot be altered.
- He suggests that if she approaches her children with this understanding, her tone and communication will change, leading to more harmonious relationships.
9. The Essence of Witnessing:
- Ramesh discusses the practice of witnessing, which involves observing life without judgment. He differentiates between biological reactions, which are natural and beyond control, and egoic judgments, which arise from the mind’s need to label and categorize experiences.
- He encourages the participants to witness their lives without attaching judgments, as this leads to peace of mind and freedom from the ego’s grip.
10. Final Reflections and the Importance of Surrender:
- The session concludes with Ramesh emphasizing the importance of surrendering to the flow of life and the realization that everything happens according to divine will. He reassures the participants that their spiritual journeys are unfolding exactly as they should, and that true peace comes from accepting this reality.
- Emily and the others express their gratitude for the insights gained during the satsang, leaving with a deeper understanding of the nature of the self, the illusion of separateness, and the path to lasting peace.