@kearstinnekenerson6676 I hear you! I've been in an abusive relationship before, and this looks scary. Girl needs some self defense classes. Learn how to duck and throw those hands back!
@@PeopleRTheProblema lot of terrible people like to hide that side of themselves until they've "locked down" their partner. Abusers and narcissists do this all the time. Some wait until after you've moved in together, some wait until the wedding night. It's not that hard to find stories of people who's spouse literally changed overnight after they got married. Terrible people love being deceptive.
As a child, I’ve experienced a serious infection while on a family vacation. Ended up in the ER in Mexico. I knew how to wipe correctly but I just got sick. Also, I didn’t drink any water. Only juice/soda for two weeks straight (lied to my mom by pretending to drink water because I scared of ‘Mexico water’
@@FernRoses Similar situation. Got the runs once and ended up with a monster UTI that required two rounds of antibiotics and one of them gave me tendonitis.
@@FernRosesHi, mexican here, yes its true you cant drink the water in México but only the tap water because it has way to much chlorine and salt (great for plants)its safe to shower and wash dishes with but not to drink, that's why we have sparkling water everywhere and you can buy big water jugs in every corner store, I'm sorry that happened to you, that should have been explained to you before traveling.
Absolutely agree and now that I am a MIL, I'm very aware of this BS and often stay away from their lives etc., I wait until I'm invited over and fine with this as my kid is grown unfortunately though many parents see their kids as perpetual children which is sad.
@@questionmark9819thank you for being a normal and kind MIL! I was blessed with two wonderful MILs (my husband has a step mother) and they’re the kindest most wonderful people who raised and co-parented an amazing man. I still can’t believe there are women out there like those crazy horror MILs. Thanks for being normal!! 🩵 much happiness to you and your family!
About the ‘real vagina’ one: I remember reading this one a while ago. It turns out her family was really prudish and did not discuss anything remotely sex related. Plus lack of sex education in school when she was growing up, she only had to go on what she vaguely remembered her own mother telling her. It never came up with her own daughters, miraculously they didn’t suffer any infections. There was a good resolution and his wife talked to her and caught grandma up on all the pertinent health related bits. Grandma was very understanding after the initial fight. They all apologized as well because the father realize he had been a bit rude and could have handled it better
I'm glad to hear that - I assumed that her reaction was at least part embarrassment, because she did raise three girls and why does this man know more than she does? I didn't see her as stupid, because lord knows I got zero sex ed or useful anatomy lessons in a fundie christian environment. Glad it all worked out ❤️
I actually read that too and was going to comment but you beat me to it. It happened to a lot of women, they just didn't talk about those things way back. My poor mother told me she started menstruation and had no idea and thought she was going to bleed to death. Her mother hadn't talked about anything with her yet and she swore she wouldn't let that happen to her daughters so she talked with us sooner rather than later and basically was matter of fact so we would not freak out like she did. I was glad this story had a good update.
I thought the exact same!! The father saying he was more capable was a total low blow, the grandma probably hadn't a clue what happened :( the dad sounds like a jerk
I'm a fundie Christian myself, and our kids (who are 10 and under) all know how babies are made, the reproductive organs, and periods. It's super important to know everything about that, especially when they are curious and asking questions!
My grandma made afghans for all of my cousins when they got married or moved in with a significant other. She made me one, too, and made some comment about not wanting to make me feel left out because I wasn’t in a relationship. I wasn’t even mad because she was so cute and sincere about it.
As a crafter, I can't imagine excluding family to punish them for not doing what you want. No one is ever obligated to make things, but man, if you make a choice like that MIL, you are sending a message.
That first MIL set herself up by bringing it up in front of everyone! Goodness. What’s even worse is the husband being upset at his own wife for it all. Therapy my friends. It’s a gift.
She abused the privilege before so she deserved the fake key. She proved that she would abuse it again and then thought she was so in the right that she called her out in the front of family but didn't like getting humbled. 😂
She brought it up in front of everyone intending on the dil being the one that was shamed and embarrassed. It backfired and she was. She fully intended on feeling victorious and smug when the dil looked bad in front of the family. She didn’t call her privately on the phone, she planned to do this at a large family gathering on purpose. Then karma stepped in and B slapped her into the kitchen. Sounds fair.
My MIL was staying over once and as me and my wife were leaving something told me to lock our bedroom. Later that day she asked my wife “why do we lock our bedroom door when we leave?” My wife’s perfect response (even not knowing I locked it because we never do) “how would you know it was locked unless you were trying to go in? Why were you trying to go into OUR room?” 😂
Maybe she was trying to clean the whole house and noticed that one room was closed? I know people who, it they are cleaning, would find it rude to exclude some parts of home. I wouldn't be mad just by this story itself. If there's a history of invading privacy then yes.
@@TacseraEpSekahs There is absolutely no reason why anyone should go into someone else's bedroom without asking... period. It is a HUGE invasion of privacy. If she really was just going in there to clean she could have asked and done that while they were home. The fact that she tried to go in there when they weren't home and without asking if it was ok first, clearly shows that she was only going in there to snoop.
@@TacseraEpSekahs there was absolutely no cleaning involved. Even if there was, you don’t go into a room that is not yours without permission. Even worse, finding it closed and wanting an answer as to why it was closed?
Story 1: The husband is embarrassed by his wife posting the story on Reddit, but not by his mom walking in on them? TWICE?! 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 I hate to immediately say divorce to an AITA story.... but this man is not on his wife's side, has never been on his wife's side, and will never be on his wife's side. For the rest of his life, he's going to choose his mother over her every. single. time. Divorce babes, divorce.
Agreed. If my husband behaved like that, he'd have to go... If she lets the MIL win this one, her behaviour will only get worse. We've seen the lengths she'll go to (tantrum in the kitchen at Christmas), she's not going to get better without being corrected. The MIL sounds awful, but the spineless husband lashing out at his wife for daring to stand up to her is worse. My BIL's mother can be overbearing, but he stands up to her. For my sister, that makes all the difference in the world, because it stops the MIL becoming unbearable and reins in her behaviour. Because she's given enforced boundaries, it would never get to a 2 year old's hissy fit because she didn't get her own way. OP deserves better...
Oh absolutely! I lived with my MIL for several years and she was totally respectful if our privacy and it was her house! Best MIL ever may she RIP, so missed! This situation is ridiculous! On top of it the MIL here started the whole thing by bringing it up at dinner in the first place! She was trying to get the OP in trouble but it backfired then she threw a temper tantrum to get her way and that worked! What a horrible woman! That whole family sucks and I wouldn't even want to try and work things out if I would be stuck with them for in-laws!
Same “grandma” as my previous post, quilt edition. She was a prolific quilter, all done totally by hand. As each grandchild got married they received a quilt as her wedding gift. They were gorgeous! Detailed piecing, intricate stitching, embroidery, the works. A true heirloom. Three others got married before me, dad’s oldest brothers kids, and theirs were spectacular. I honestly didn’t expect to get one when I got married, she never much cared for me. Imagine my surprise when, at my wedding shower, when there was a quilt size box there from her. I was so excited to open it, all the Canyon people leaning forward to see what design she had chosen for me. It was a plain, blue and white nine patch, alternate blocks in plain white, white back, plain quilted. What we would have called a beginner quilt. In one corner, embroidered in white, on a white block, were our names and our wedding date. I made a monumental effort not to let her know how hurt I was. The Canyon people were all looking at each other, shaking their heads. They were as shocked as I was, but I knew no one would be brave enough to call her on it. Later, when I went to thank her, to told her I was so happy about the pattern she chose because it would look so crisp and clean and would really set off the lovely white pillow shams with blue embroidery my future mother in law had made for me. “Oh, well, I’m glad you like it, I embroidered the names and date in white so you can still use it if the marriage doesn’t work out.”
What a witch except Reddit won’t let me use the word that begins with the letter “b”! - I’d probably have said - why that’s just so practical and thoughtful of you! Maybe if I get divorced and married multiple times, we could just add all that extra information on the quilt - it could be like one of those old fashioned bibles from centuries past that kept all the data! And hey if I don’t get divorced and remarried I could just add when family members die - you know, their names and the date of their death and maybe what killed them!
He grew up on the toxicity so it's normalized for him now, unfortunately. Before ppl marry anyone, they should really look into the family and their dynamic first. It's hard to grow out toxic grooming
For that first story, the woman called herself out 🤣 she thought she'd be shaming DIL without remembering that she broke a promise she could totally be called out on. She didn't have to bring this up in front of everybody unless she thought DIL wouldn't have the spine to respond in front of everyone. That's too funny.
Yeah, hubby was mad because wifey called mom out but conveniently ignores that wifey would’ve said nothing if mom hadn’t first. In our family we have two sayings. Same team (ours before all others) and don’t start none, won’t be none (most for the fur babies but ya know).
She should change the locks if MIL gets a valid key. And then do it again every time MIL gets the updated key. She can say her key works and claim she has no idea why the other ones don’t work.
My grandmother deliberately made my mother feel 'less than' by gifting every other adult woman in the family matching presents, but excluding her. For example, my grandmother had a gold charm which contained an onyx doublet sandwiched between two crystal layers set in a fancy gold bezel. Upon the doublet, the first letter of her name was set in tiny diamonds. One by one, everyone got one, beginning with her two daughters -- my aunts, and then moving to her son's wives. She gifted each daughter, and then her DILs a smaller version of the same pendant, each with the letter of their own first name. All except my mother. Grandmother didn't gift them out all at the same time. One aunt would come in to a family gathering wearing her necklace, then a few months later, the next aunt. Initially, my mother thought she probably hadn't gotten a necklace yet, because she was the most recently married into the family. There were 5 boys, and the eldest two were married by now, and she was the wife of the second. Then my grandmother began giving the wives of her brothers, and then the wives of her husbands brothers, their own pendants. Same thing, each personalized with the initial of their first name. Again, it felt weird that my mother hadn't been given her own necklace yet, but all the wives of the grandparents brothers had also been married into the family before my mother, so there was a certain logic. There were still 3 unmarried brothers, and at some point, the next one married. Almost immediately, the newest DIL was gifted her own necklace by my grandmother. It was pretty clear after that, that my mother's was being excluded. Her feelings were very hurt, and she was very angry at being so passive aggressively singled out in that manner, in a family that was huge, who saw and spent time with each other daily. It was very sad, and significantly impacted my mother's happiness, and peace of mind.
Your mother should get her own necklace done up in the same way and wear it at the next family gathering without telling anyone she got it for herself, it would totally make grandma seethe in anger because she can't really say anything about it without outing herself as deliberately excluding her in front of everyone, and mother gets a lovely necklace. She could even lie and say she received it in the mail and simply thought it was her necklace from grandma, just delivered differently compared to everyone else, "what do you mean it isn't the gift you give to all the women in the family, grandma? Look at it, it looks identical to X family members! I'm glad to finally be getting my necklace after all these years, grandma!" just to watch her squirm and get that petty revenge back on her
I think it will be very thoughtful of you if you gifted your mother one exactly the same necklace maybe add something meaningful a way of expressing your love for your mother. That might help her feel better if you make it special for her. Or you can get matching ones as well. No one should make your mother feel that way it’s cruel.
@@Manj_Jlove your thinking!!! When school girl, I was told few of us would get a book as a gift from school for being top students. Only later to be told I would be excluded, and another kid would get it instead. I was sad and crying, so my mom bought me a book as a gift for the year end, then she wrote a beautiful note, mentioned my school achievements, and managed to press a big stamp to simulate the official school gift look lol... I couldn't be happier. Your reply made me remember this moment. I hope OPs mom is still around, to get matching gift from others who love her.
I still regularly use a quilt my great grandmother made. Back then, you couldn't waste anything. So all of the quilts my great grandmother made are the clothing my grandmother and her sister wore. These quilts also last forever.
My stepdad married my mom when I was five. My stepgrandma never approved of my sister and I, even though my stepdad treated us as his own daughters. We were the oldest of all the grandkids in that family and even lived with her for a year. I was the only one with her on the day she died. At her funeral, my sister and I were startled to hear from the pastor that she made quilts for all the grandkids (6 others) for their high school graduations. She did? Quilts? We didn't get a quilt. We were sad, but less sad after hearing that. The wild thing is that Grandma was sent away when she was a little girl to be raised by other family members because she was born into a family of 11 kids, and there wasn't enough food/space/resources. You would think she would have known what it felt like to be treated as "other."
@kiwifreund It's very odd but sometimes we learn what the perpetrator does and do it their way instead of taking our negative experience and turning it around. I hope that made sense, it did in my head.
@@sallymb6356You made sense. My mom didn't like being abused so she was abusive. Yep my sister didn't like the way our mom acted she acted just like her. Unfortunately some people can't take the lesson they learned and turn it around into something positive. I took what I learned and made it a positive situation. I hope that I have never hurt somebody bad by things I said and I'm hoping that I will die smiling like my birth mother did even though she had a horrific life instead of being an angry pouting screaming banshee like my adoptive mother did. The sad thing is I look like both of them My husband said are we in the Twilight zone when I met my birth parents after not seeing them since I was 2 years old because you will not believe this They looked exactly alike They even aged to the point that they could have been brothers and sisters I kid you not. My adopty father looked healthier than my birth father because my birth father was an alcoholic The roles were just reversed My adoptive mother was the alcoholic my adoptive father the long-suffering abused spouse. However my birth mother was just as crazy Looney as my birth father and she gave as good as she got when it came to the violence towards each other after spending long conversations with my birth brother who grew up with them I realized maybe things would have been a little better if my mom hadn't slammed a plate full of food on top of my dad's head when he asked what's for dinner. Odd has some people just can't get the lesson.
@@ingloriousbetch4302 That sounds a bit too black and white for me; when a 7 year old who is abused at home turns round and bullies at school, does that make them equally as bad as their abuser? It's what happened to them, what they were taught, they had no other example, it's not necessarily within their power/scope to do otherwise at that point in their lives.
We had a similar situation with the quilt in my family. Background-there are 10 kids in my family and 25 grandchildren. My mom started making a quilt for each grandchild when they got married. My son is in the middle of the pack, but when it was his turn to get a quilt my mom suddenly decided she was tired of making the quilts. Now I can understand that considering the time and expense, but one of my nephews was getting married about 4 months after my son. Mom started talking about the quilt she was going to make for him. I lost it with my mom and didn’t speak to her for about 3 months. It got back to me that she was grudgingly making a quilt for my son, but would state that it was the smallest quilt she had made and she didn’t think it was very pretty. Mind you, my son is probably one of her least favorites of the grandkids, although he has gained some favor because mom really likes the girl he married. Another point I’d like to make is the fact that mom has about 10 quilts that she has made that are just stacked up in her basement. When I mentioned that she could just give my son one of those, her response was that those are “special” quilts. My son has been married for 6 years now and the “special” quilts are still stacked in the basement.
Yeah I definitely was looking for a comment like this, I agree with Charlotte that you're not generally entitled to anyone's time or effort, but in the context of a close relationship like family, it's such a shitty thing to do to only create quilts for some kids/grandkids and not others, unless you have a really valid reason like a history of a disgruntled or unhealthy relationship. Like you have to know that's going to be so hurtful, so at the very least, in both your case and in the Reddit case, those grandmas should have planned some kind of "backup" or "alternative" gift to make it fair for everyone. It's so dumb that you son never even got one of the "special" quilts that clearly aren't being used elsewhere.
And like. It hurts to be left out. It feels like a punishment cause they don’t want kids and aren’t seen as a family. I’m shocked so many think it’s about getting a free thing. It’s about not feeling loved or seen as family
My family from one side we're only six grandchildren. 2 of the oldest are married with kids. The rest of us are all single and not close being marries or having kids any time soon. My grandmother made quilts for the 2 older ones, me and my younger brother, over 15 years ago. The two youngest ones didn't get cause the type of quilts my grandmother makes are expensive and very time consuming so she was postponing it, and those two cousins moved from place to place, so it was a little inconvenient for them to carry huge quilts here and there. Both older cousins had their home robbed when they were on vacation (they are siblings and lived with their parents when this happened), and for some reason the robber took all the expensive items and the quilts. So the only quits in the family are mine and my brother's. What we decided to do was to pass it on to my cousins kids, and by the time me or my brother have kids, the other kids will be much older. So it's something that we're sharing even though not everyone got one. Edit: to clarify the two oldest are siblings, my brother and I are the midle ones, and the two youngest are also siblings.
Quilters are a weird bunch, I’m one, so I know that it’s true! It’s hard letting go of something you’ve spent so much time and effort on, especially if you’re just giving it away. I’m hopeful he’ll have one eventually…
My mum made me the most beautiful cream colored, 63 square afghan, with every single square different, and it's big enough to fit on my double, as a Christmas gift. She wasn't able to finish it by Christmas and I didn't get it until around april...things come up. I was 1000000% ok with that, just so happy to be getting something from Mum from the heart. It is my prized possession. ❤
The one about wiping forwards instead of back had an update where the parents sat down with the MIL to explain their reaction and it turned out that the MIL had been taught incorrectly by her mum (I think) when she was young and hadn't questioned it. They resolved their issues and were fine after that. :)
Oh, that is a relief to hear and explains a lot! That post made me so uncomfortable, not only doing it wrong but the MIL assuming girls don't have private parts until they are older. This is why education is so important! I was taught to wipe from the front to the back when I was being potty trained and learning how to wipe myself. When I started babysat babies and toddlers still in diapers, I was taught to go from the front to the back as a reminder, for both girls and boys. It's not as messy with boys if you wipe from the front to the back, as they have junk in the way if you go the other direction. LOL
I just wanna say that my mother is a quilter and makes quilts for everyone in our family, starting when they're babies. My wife and I didn't plan to have human babies but had our dogs and both dogs got a quilt*, exactly like every other baby in the family (except theirs had pics of the dogs printed onto fabric that's in sewn into them). I have 3 quilts of my own and my wife has one and will be getting another (so excited for her to see our son's baby shirts I snuck to my mom that she's going to include as a surprise!!). We took on raising my nephew whom we've adopted and he got one within a couple of months of us getting him. My momma is the best! Now, all that being said, my momma loves quilting and it's her hobby. She chooses who she makes quilts for and she would never exclude someone just because they have or don't have human children. So, yes, it kinda sucks that that little family is being excluded, but, the MIL is free to make, or not, for whomever she wants. Everyone deserves to know their family, whether they have human children or not, is valid. If I were them, I'd commission a quilt of my own and get something I really loved instead of worrying about someone whose gift only comes if you fulfill their expectations. *I'm so glad my mother did make the dogs their own quilts because we had to put my dog to sleep about 2½ weeks before unexpectedly having to take on the baby and I'm so glad I have that memorial of something so important to me. She took her last breath on that quilt and I keep it where I can see it every day. 🩷🩷
That is so cute ! 🥹 Your mom is a sweetheart. It’s adorable that she made quilts for your dogs. ☺️ You and your wife taking in and adopting your nephew is also heartwarming. In regard to the Reddit story, I agree with you. If the mother-in-law intended to leave them out for the suspected reason, that doesn’t make her a good person in this story. If the daughter-in-law was demanding a quilt, she was also wrong. If she only wanted to know the truth about whether her mother-in-law planned to leave her and her husband out for not having children, then I believe it was okay for her to ask, but maybe how she went about doing so was not the best.
Thanks, everyone 😊 my mom is actually biologically my grandma (dad's mom) but she raised me from 3 months old when my birth-giver signed me away to my daddy and my daddy had to work to support us. She didn't have to raise me and could've given me back to my daddy at any time, but she didn't. I can't imagine how different my life would've been without her as my primary parent. I'm also the only gay person in the family (so far) and not only has she always loved and supported me, but she welcomed my wife with open arms (as she did for all my long-term partners I had before I met my wife). My wife's parents, especially her mother, have been downright awful to her since we got together (and we've been together nearly 10 years and married nearly 9!). I've still never met my MIL because she despises me despite us never having met. My own mother moved to another state a few years ago and she still takes time to reach out to my wife unprompted. I really lucked out when she agreed to raise me. 💜
When I moved out, both of my parents (divorced) asked for their house keys back. I said "Are you sure you dont want me to keep it just in case?" They both said no and basically accused me of sneaking into their houses in the future 🙄. I reminded my father that he VERY often locks himself out, but he insisted so, I gave them back. Both of those idiots locked themselves out of their houses during winter in WI. Wish I could've helped. Oh, well. 🤷😂
To me, this is the main reason for the Emergency Key! I remember the time when we locked ourselves out of our place, and had our firstborn (9 or 10 at the time) climb in through the kitchen window.
Geez, why are your parents like that that’s terrible man sorry about that. Some adults must’ve been hard growing up with those people. But seems to me you’ve done well, my man, so good for you.
I got married in july, and I still have a key to my parents house but I never intend to use it I only go there when invited, it's REALLY just for an emergency
I get the feeling that the quilt was just the straw that broke the camel's back - as in OP and husband have probably been excluded or treated differently numerous times. I felt that it wasn't really about the quilt, it was just about being included. But that's just my perspective.
I look at the quilt story a bit differently. My take was that the dil was looking forward to a handmade gift. She might have came at it a bit sideways but I took it that she valued the quilt so much she was excited for it.
And in my uneducated opinion, I feel like just telling MIL that the sister told you she didn’t want to make it as opposed to beating around the bush would’ve been better.
we got some entitled idiots in here. I love how you support her demand for a quilt and do not see any wrong doing on the dil part. Just shows how entitled you are and think everyone owes you everything you want. Charlotte is right and it is obvious the MIL does not like dil and you all assume the dil is an angel but it is painfully obvious the dil has done quite a bit to make MIL not like her.
My question to that is this then: if she wanted a beautiful hand made family quilt, and it's clear her MIL won't make one for her, why doesn't she just decide to make one herself? It'll be tough at first, but it can be a new hobby she does that provides her with what she wants. If I was excited to get something special from a family member and only ended up never getting that thing, I'd go and get it myself.
@@shadowdroid776 we do not exactly know if the MIL was going to make her a quilt. It looks like she wasn't but the problem here is the entitlement of OP for thinking she was automatically going to get a quilt. the MIL should have made her the quilt but they have had problems with each other for a long time. No one knows if OP or MIL started the drama. OP is not innocent in this at all.
omg that first story enraged me SO much.... The MIL got caught using the key, OBVIOUSLY just to snoop, so what does she do? Throws a HUGE temper tantrum to play the victim so of course her precious baby boy will feel like his awful wife hurt poor mama's feelings and should apologize. Absolute bs!!! I would be FURIOUS. That is not the point to be focusing on, and it was exactly why she gave a fake key to begin with! Boundries crossed with a line of fire in the sand, smfh
That MIL clearly has narcissistic personality disorder. Six symptoms : 1. lies about her intentions; 2. does not respect boundaries; 3. wants continued control over everybody and everything; 4. when caught doing very bad, plays the victim of "prank"; 5. when her conspiracy to invade her son's and DIL's privacy is uncovered, goes in hysteric tears and tantrum to deflect; 6. When that doesn't work to her satisfaction, rallies her flying monkeys (children she knows will side with her) to attack the person who exposed her scheme. These kinds of people cannot be trusted nor reasoned into respecting others. Having had a narcissistic mother myself, I have a plan for DILs who face that kind of problem : after giving her the false key, I would prepare for her to bring up the subject and answer by : "Really ? Your key didn't work ? I'm so surprised ! Give it back and I'll have a talk with the locksmith about it." I would give her a real key after a while, having put surveillance cameras (unbeknownst to the husband, of course) everywhere in the house, to definitely catch her sneaking in and rummaging through my things. Then, I would send the footage to the husband. If the husband still sides with his mother, I would divorce and send the footage to the whole family with the message that I only gave permission in case of an emergency which the MIL had declared herself would be the intent.
My daughter finally got the keys away from her in-laws when they moved, but unfortunately her husband gave his dad the garage door code. She was home, pregnant and miserable when she heard the garage door open, and father-in-law strode through the house looking for her. She cut the cord to the garage door opener. End of discussion.
Xoxablade4345 They moved to another state not long after that episode. Relationship with her in-laws was never good, but at least there was a good distance from them!
@@MerryAnne2598did her FIL try to stress her out or “speak” to her once he gained access to the main house? Was your daughter okay after this incident?
My dad's new girlfriend told me to wipe in instead of out when I was about 6. I ended up in the hospital with 16 different stomach infections and nearly died. I still remember her teaching me that, a bit of the hospital visit, and then telling my mum about it when she was helping me at the toilet later and I swear I recall the moment it clicked. How that woman's daughter made it to adulthood is beyond me.
stomach infections? do you mean uterine infections? how did something make it into your stomach? in any case this sounds horrifying, sorry that happened to you.
@@rachelmaddowswife8713 Not a doctor, but I think since the stomach is connected (somewhat) to our private parts via intestines, the bacteria could've traveled to the stomach through the intestines
@@thatonewitch The stomach is in no way connected to your vagina or uterus, all of that stuff is completely separate unless you have some serious internal injuries. The stomach is of course connected to your anus since they're all part of the digestive system, but bacteria don't tend to travel backwards from your colon to your stomach. If that's happening to you, it sounds like a medical emergency. Your intestines are always filled with bacteria and feces, they're supposed to be there and your body knows how to deal with them. The vagina also has its own bacteria and yeast that live there, but it's different from the microflora of the gut. Getting too much gut bacteria that overgrow and upset the balance in there is a bad thing.
The quilt thing. I felt that. So my grandmother, who was a great grandmother when she passed at 87 had frequently spent tons of time and love and money on almost all the grandchildren and great grandchildren in our family. The exception was my brother and his baby girl. She in a crazy systematic way excluded them from acknowledgement except when bragging about being a great grandmother. It was disturbing. She would even rope in children not related to our family except by marriage to second cousins. I would get so mad hearing her fawn over them. Like there was no relation but she would verbally count them as hers. And my little brother was so hurt by it all, that he basically pretended that she didn't exist. He stopped acknowledging her, too, the last few years of her life. I don't blame him. Being treated that way by someone you have loved all your life is heart-wrenching. But thinking back as an adult, I can remember clearly how she actually treated him growing up. I never recognized before. My grandmother wasn't kind to him at all and punished him more than any other grandchild for trivial things. And a part of me can't forgive her. I do not care that she's dead. She wasn't a very good person if she could treat a child that way.
The quilt story hits kinda home to me. I disagree with Charlotte in that a mother who has done this tradition for all her other children shouldn't exclude anyone. The mom is the AH 100% Now why this hits home for me is that my grandma loved to crochet. She crocheted blankets for all her grandchildren when they graduated. She sadly passed away long before I could get mine and was starting on my siblings before her health declined. My grandma, regardless loved all of her grandbabies every single one. So the fact that, before the op even said anything, she decided her son wasn't worthy of one was so cruel.
I agree! I felt a bit weird about her asking about getting a quilt, but I completely understand her feeling hurt by the MIL making these incredibly sweet, personalized quilts for literally every other one of her kids and their significant others, but not planning to make one for them. It seems incredibly rude and unkind of the mother-in-law to say that she's never going to make them a quilt, just because they don't have kids and "don't have enough stuff to fill up the space." That's a ridiculous cop out. I can maybe understand OP seeming kind of entitled if only 1 or 2 of the siblings had gotten a quilt, but it was literally every other sibling except her husband and her, so it's clearly excluding them.
No way - who demands quilts or craft work -do you know how much time it takes to make these items? She may wanted the quilts to be passed down to future generations- she (MIL) can choose to offer her craftwork to whomever she wants
@@swordchild0013 thing is it is a tradition and gift she has given to all her other kids except that one son. Yes the wife behaved horrendously but mil was also terrible excluding her one kid from a gift she has given to all his other siblings
@hollowlunax yes they cannot but how would you feel if all your other siblings got something and you didn't because of a life choice you and your partner made together? That your mother who is supposed to love all of you equally favored her other kids with such a personal gift over you
My grandmother was a quilter when she was alive and always made quilts for practically everyone. She gave both of my sisters very nice blankets (she also knitted), but I never got a nice one. The one I got had no rhyme or reason and was basically one she had lying around that she didn't want while other blankets or quilts that people got were ones based off of their favorite things or colors. I believe now that it was because of some petty reasons and issues she had with me. I'm a lot like my mom and she DESPISED my mom so much that I got the short end of the stick. She treated my sisters better than me from what I can recall. While I appreciated the blanket at the time, it left me feeling both disappointed and a bit bitter towards her because she didn't even make the time or the effort to get to know me as her own granddaughter. So, knowing that I would never get a quilt from her like I had always wanted, in my late teens and into my early 20's, I decided to use that bitter feeling to advantage and learned how to quilt for two reasons. So that I could have a common hobby and maybe get close to her, which unfortunately never happened. Also, so that I could make myself the most beautiful quilt I've ever seen. So my advice for the one reddit user, If you want a quilt that badly, go to a hobby store, buy yourself a sewing machine(a good one with all the gadgets but not too fancy is 400), buy some fabric and pull up UA-cam and learn how to quilt yourself. You got this.
I learned to quilt in my twenties, I’m 60 now, and I’ve made many many quilts for all occasions. My favorites are the baby quilts. I have one for myself, my first (not my best). Good for you to learn how!
My goodness, the fact a father is explaining to a grown woman how to properly clean ones self is beyond words with me. I'd know damn well as a mother who I'm not leaving with my daughter as a babysitter anymore if my husband told me that sh$t
My niece had a yeast imbalance as a small child. No matter how careful, following a schedule whether she had to go or not, literal daily meds ( not case by case, DAILY), infections came regularly. I can't even imagine how my sister would have gone off on anyone who said little girls don't have real vaginas.
I get that it's more important for women and girls to wipe front to back, but don't men also do that? Even if there's no chance of infection, wiping all the poop into the scrotum to sit there all day doesn't sound like an awesome idea either. This just seems like common sense regardless of genitalia.
As a 27yr old girl who grew up without a mother, idek there was a "correct" way to wipe oneself. Always did back to front due to really not knowing there was a correct way and bc it felt easier then having to bump my arm against the back of the toilet xD Ig having Scoliosis doesn't help either.... Rip my whole young life I suppose. Never ever got an infection from wiping the "incorrect" way though....
My grandma made quilts all the time and I never thought of demanding one from her. After she passed away, she had a bunch of them in her closet, enough for one to go to each kid/grandkid. It's been 11 years and I still use it on my bed. I love it and I love it even more knowing she made it.
My great grandmother (or could be great grandmother, I forget which) made several amazing quilts by hand. My mother inherited about 4. There are three of us girls, each will be one. We treasure them alot because of all the effort put into them. They still hold up well even after all this time.
My grandma made all us grandkids (she had 11) a beautiful baby shawl and knitted hat while she was still able to. She already had very painful arthritis in her hands but eventually she could no longer knit or crochet. At the time half of us didn't have any kids but she made them for us anyway. I only have one kid (now a teen) and Grandma passed away almost a year ago but I still have and really treasure the beautiful baby shawl and hat she made for me!
@@phastinemoonMaybe she just didn't like the DIL, she seems kinda entitled from her post alone. The DIL in law was the one that assume that not having kids was the reason for not having a quilt. She's not entitled to a quilt, and demanding one isn't gonna make the grandmother be more willing to make one when it takes so much time and it's probably hard on her hands. If someone demanded something from me for free instead of me wanting to make it for them, I would tell them to f off too.
@@cristela4034 She did seem very entitled.I was kinda with her at first but after hearing more and more of the story it was just like yikes yeah maybe you're the problem here lady
I’m a quilter. I love when someone is “quilt worthy” and appreciates the love and labor I put into it. My adult daughter calls it “a long distance hug from mom” and that it got her through rough times during college.
That is so sweet and I totally love this!! This is the best thing I've read in some time! When I was born, one of my mom's friends made me a quilt and a matching pillow. My name and birthdate were cross stitched on the pillow. The pillow got destroyed when I was about 11, but I had the quilt until I was about 25. Everywhere I went for an overnight, it came with me, even as an adult. Camping, staying with family and friends, going to hotels, etc. It started to fall apart and every small move caused rips, even when I started to handwash it. I was so sad when I had to throw it away and at 43 years old, I still wish I had it. It was one of my most treasured thing I had.
I 100% agree. I can’t design a quilt if I don’t have love in my heart for the person I’m making it for! And if someone ever demanded a quilt, and gave me a DEADLINE, there is NO WAY they would get ANYTHING! It’s not just some kitsch, hipster accessory! It is a tangible expression of love!
@@emilyrossen4111 It is definitely is a lot of work, time and material to buy as well! I think they both handled it poorly and I understand that the daughter in law would be hurt. Regardless, no one should demand to have something made for them and MIL isn't required to do so. I can only speak for myself and I would never demand to have something made for me. If it was me, I'd suggest to help make the quilt with her and do most of the work and purchase the material, especially if MIL's hands were hurting due to her aging. It could be a great bonding project! But if she still refused, it showed how she really felt, I'd go low contact at that point if I was that hurt.
The “not a real vagina” one had me in tears laughing because I just last month had to explain to my 73 year old mother that she needs to wipe front to back because she’s had UTIs constantly for years!
Reading all these comments are so scary! There needs to be more education around this in health classes… I think I learned the proper way from a family guy episode weirdly enough.
But you don't get a UTI from your vagina. Uou are right about the wiping, but the urethra is just in front of the vaginal opening. Some guys think we pee out of our clitoris!!!😂
My oldest sister was in her 40's before she found out to wipe front to back after suffering from bladder infections for years. Not sure what planet she grew up on as my other sisters & myself knew this from childhood. I think she blamed our mother, she blamed Mom for everything that went wrong in her life.
I don't remember being actually taught this. It came naturally to me, it just seemed logical. I think I just remembered how my mom did it when she was still wiping me, and it just stuck.
Definitely an opportunity for malicious compliance. Next family dinner, "I'm so so sorry I embarrassed you, Mom. I shouldn't have ever given you a fake key knowing you'd break our trust."
My grandmother made quilts for my sister and I for our "marital beds". I was married three times, and my sister never married. We both got a quilt. So much for the marital beds.
For the quilt story... ESH. Quilts (esp elaborate ones made with love and care) take an awful amount of time, and the way OP went about it was tactless and demanding. MIL is allowed to rest her fingers/hands for as long as she damned well pleases. However, the fact that the MIL excluded OP and her husband because they didn't have kids says volumes about her, bc newsflash: any artist worth their salt can improvise, and if she really considered them 'worthy' of a quilt, then she'd improvise.
The thing is, OP LITERALLY rushed in there demanding a quilt. Remember, here's what happened: - MIL finished a quilt - Almost immediately, OP asks the SIL when she'll be getting hers - The SIL (not the mother) says it isn't happening - OP comes in demanding a quilt from the MIL, likely rudely (if OP comes across this rude and entitled on the post, imagine how bad she must be in real life) - MIL gets rightfully angry, and responds in kind There's every possibility that the MIL was trying to figure out a way to make OP and her husband a quilt, but was having trouble figuring it out, as OP's entire personality comes down to "Doesn't have kids". (I bet she calls people with kids "breeders") Maybe if OP waited a year or two and asked nicely, the MIL would have figured something out. But OP went in guns blazing and was an entitled AH -- I wouldn't make anything for her either, never mind something as time-consuming and effortful as a quilt.
I feel like the kid thing is a red herring here. It sounds like the DIL might be a jerk who is also child free. MIL might not like her for other perfectly valid reasons. I agree about the improv thing. I’m a quilter and I can find a pattern or material for literally anyone I love but making a quilt for someone I have negative feels for would be impossible. It’s hard to explain but some relationships aren’t “quilt worthy” and if it comes across as favoritism then that should be a sign for DIL to reevaluate her attitude and expectations of her MIL.
yep ESH, and OP's probably unlikeable, coz MIL would have put the dogs if she really like her, when MIL said her fingers were tired and hurt, it can also just be an excuse so that she doesnt have to make the quilts, and even after sometime, she'll busy herself making quilts for other people. i know how this feels because i do the same excuse when relatives ask for free art (reason i stop posting my arts on facebook)
Honestly, OP just sounds like someone who thought they (her and her husband) would be treated equally as her husband’s siblings instead of excluded from the family because they don’t have kids
My mother was just like the first MIL. She had a key to my Appartement for emergency. One evening I came home from work and she had rearranged all my decorations and even some furniture because “ it looks nicer like that”I immediately took away the key
My MIL had the code to the garage and casually let herself in when hubby and I first got married. He had been a bachelor for so long that she was used to dropping things off and didn’t think twice about things being different once we were married and I was living there. I was so confused when I walked out of the bedroom and saw her standing in the kitchen. Thankfully, my husband backed me up and handled the situation. Things are fine now.
I'd be disappointed about not getting a family quilt, but also, I know how much work they are. They can literally take a year or more depending on the design. My aunt made me and my husband a quilt *AND* an afghan blanket, and we don't have kids; and they're a couple of our most treasured possessions. They really are amazing things - in large part because of how much effort they are. Given her MIL's attitude I'd say ESH, but yeah. Don't presume.
It sucks not getting a family quilt - but she doesn't meet the qualifications to receive that quilt - like I'm not angry that my father bought a bunch of baby stuff for my step-brother as a gift - cause I don't have kids, thus kid oriented gifts are not something I would expect to receive. i think a better option would be for that poster to have asked her MiL to teach her how to make a quilt - then she'd have gotten a quilt from MiL and learned to do it as well. Bonded with family and gotten what she wanted. I'm still ESH cause it is shitty that the quilts are framed as gifts for a new family but exclude the one family her kid has built because it doesn't fit the parameters she wants.
OP is entitled but not being qualified because you don't have kids is like saying people without children don't use quilts. It sucks that she's leaving them out just because they don't have children. But you still don't get to demand a quilt
Yes, as someone that felt left out many times in my lifetime I was like mhhmmm but than OP said I want one cause I’m a hipster and I like kitschy things 😮 and then having the audacity to rudely ask her MIL about it 😝 girl no. I wonder why her mother in law and her extended family don’t seem to like her too much 😂 on the other hand is the fact that it’s crazy to let people out just because they don’t have children, again I wonder if that’s the only reason
The quilt story: ESH but the MIL sucks the most! Sure she doesn’t deserve to demand but the mother intentionally left out the couple bc she demands grandchildren from the couple.
For the Quilt story, I kind of agree with the OP. She could of course have handled it better, but the MIL has made these beautiful quilts for four of her five children but refuses to make it for the last one because they don't live the way SHE wants them to? That sucks.
OP should've let it go but I agree that Gramma's an asshole for making a family-wide present that purposesly excludes other people for stuff like not having kids.
They're both being kind petty on this issue. One OP has the right to be upset because legit everyone else in the family has a blanket and I for one would be upset if I didn't get something that all of my siblings got. BUT at the same time demanding a quilt be made for her is just the wrong thing to do. The mom is also being petty in that she's made these quilts for ALL of her other children and it's kind of a slap in the face because one of her children doesn't have kids and maybe never will, which is fine, but she's now refusing to make one for the couple because of this, which isn't fair to them.
Maybe she was just waiting to see if they have kids. She said the others have their kids names on them. So I'm assuming because she used a plural she did not make the quilt as soon as the couple got married or had one kid but waited until they had a few kids to start making them.
As someone who gets left out of family things a lot, I fully understand why that one person was hurt to be left out of the quilt gifting. Yeah, OP shouldn't demand it, but I still feel bad for OP's husband. His mother has intentionally left him out of something all his siblings got. That must feel really terrible.
THAT PART everyone is like “oh well she shouldn’t have demanded it.” Honestly I don’t think OP really demanded anything other than an explanation about why they weren’t getting a quilt and everyone else did. I feel more for the husband who blatantly sees he’s being excluded because they don’t have kids which could even be because they can’t. MIL sucks big time. SIL spoke on something she shouldn’t have, and DIL was to busy being flustered to really reanalyze how they were going to ask about it.
@@MizTheMuffin yeah. OP mentioned that MIL has been negative about them not having kids before. So I get the feeling this isn’t the first time her and her husband have been treated differently or socially punished for not having kids by MIL or his siblings. Like, yeah, MIL doesn’t have to make them a quilt, but the reason is obviously because MIL wants to punish them for not having kids which is awful of her
I don't understand how this wasn't the first point. The MIL is deliberately excluding one of her children. She's the AH, the wife was making it more obvious that it already is.
This!!!!!! My MIL used to leave us out of everything. Family reunions, birthday parties, etc…. I couldn’t care less personally, however it hurt me to see the pain it inflicted on my husband. I don’t know why everyone else fails to see that.
yeah I thought it was weird Charlottes first comments was to negatively accuse her of being entitled. And to be fair, why wouldnt she feel entitled to it? All your siblings got quilts for their families, who wouldnt expect they'd get one it sucks they got left out bc of a lack of kids. Also dogs are fucking adorable and would be really cute to put on a quilt...
Many years ago we made the mistake of giving my MIL a key to the house we bought. Within 3 weeks of moving in, husband and I took an international trip. I also had a 3 hour commute round trip to work daily, and many times I stayed at a relatives house that was closer to my work until my hours could be adjusted to avoid rush hour traffic. We were not unpacked. We were still in the process of painting and such. MIL drove the 45 minutes to our home with her 3 friends to "show off our house while we were gone". When we returned she had the audacity to chastise just me that the house wasn't put together yet and I alone, not her son who lived there too, embarrassed her in front of her friends. Haha we took back that key so fast. That was 17 years ago. My husband has not spoken to his mother in over a year and has completely written her off. It took along time, but he eventually got to the right decision
@LizLuvsCupcakes he was tired of being blamed for everything while his sister was the golden child. When we had children and her nastiness started affecting them, he decided the relationship was too toxic to continue. Everytime we saw her we would all leave pissed out. And even when the kids were younger they would see the obvious favoritism their grandma had for the other grandkids (her daughter's kids). We are better off without them.
@@No-sv6mu Wow I'm sorry your family went true all that, it must be even more heartbreaking for your husband, most people don't understand how difficult it is to see or break away from the abuse because they have been used to it since day one and even tho it hurts you always have hope, his hope lasted longer than we may like but I bet the kids are happier now.
I'd have made the quilt with ONLY the son and the dogs on it, just to snub the DIL. But that's just me being a petty, but fair, b*tch. Leaving one of her own children out of the "meaningful gift" party just cause he didn't provide grandkids is really rude.
@@crazybiogeek and demanding someone make a quilt for free is wrong but I guess you think forcing someone to make something for you is fine. you do realize it is obvious the dil has damaged her relationship with her in laws all for a quilt. instead of just asking and leaving it at that, she went on to demand the MIL make the quilt for her proving why the Mil does not like her. It is obvious OP husband is not on her side and knows for a fact she is wrong hence the reason why he wont get in the middle of it,.
@@crazybiogeek the dil literally choose a quilt to be the hill to die on. She choose her entitlement and demanded a quilt instead of keeping a relationship with her in laws. the mere fact the one SIL who always was on OPs side called OP out for being a B*tch should tell you OP is in the wrong. so now you choose, a quilt or a relationship with your in laws. have to choose one what is it.
I had a patient at the hospital once that was 80-90 years old. We were talking about her peri-areas and I mentioned how she had three holes down there and she looked at me like I was crazy. She didn't know that she had 3. She thought she had 2! Back then no one talked about their who-haws. That had to have been in the late 80.s so she must have been born at the turn of the last century. I think she also had kids. So you are never to old to learn something new.
Love the photography story. I totally would have done the same lol. As for the quilted dilemma, I would go and get a lovely hand made quilt made for our bed with our love story and dog children prominently featured and show it off on our bed. Then when when mother in law is over I would ask her to please grab something out of our room. Is that petty 😝😜
Hearing these MIL stories makes me so thankful that my MIL is amazing lol. She and I get along really well, she never oversteps into mine and my husbands lives, and she’s super kind and thoughtful. My FIL is just awesome too. I got so lucky having them as my in laws. I could never deal with shitty in-laws I would probably say what is on my mind and get myself in trouble a lot lol.
💯% same lol I listen to these stories all the time and just think how grateful I am that I have amazing in-laws. 🥰 They bought my partner and I a house to rent closer to them so we could get out of a toxic environment, let us pay a cheaper rent, always called or messaged before coming over at any point -even when we moved out of the rental when they eventually sold the place-. If they know partner and I are financially struggling they help out subtly -invite us over for dinner or drop "extra" food or groceries off because they "made too much" or "bought too much"-. Honestly bless them.
My grandmother's hobby was embroidery. She would buy quilt blocks that were pre-printed with a design and spend hours upon hours doing all the hand embroidery work. Then she used an antique sewing machine to put them together before paying someone else to finish the assembly (border, batting, back, and edges) then machine quilting them. The embroidery was beautiful and it cost a small fortune having them finished. I don't use mine because I have several pets and I don't want to risk any damage to my grandmother's work of love. I'm just happy to have possession of it and know that she chose the design and all the colors specifically for me (bluebirds of happiness with a pink border and backing). If anyone had tried to demand a quilt from her, she would probably have told them how much they cost to make and offered to sell them one. There were some that she did sell, for hundreds of dollars. No one is ever entitled to a gift like a quilt. They are expensive and time consuming.
I’m shocked at how many people are thinking it’s about getting something and not about MIL not seeing them as a actual family cause they don’t have kids
My aunt told my little cousin that normal vaginal discharge is a yeast infection. I had to correctly teach my cousin the differences between yeast infections and vaginal discharge. I also gave her a book to help explain her body and puberty to her. To make matters worse, my aunt is an RN
I want to say, “omg! How can she be so ignorant.” Then I remembered my own aunt is an RN and head of nursing at a nursing home and she is so ignorant, I wouldn’t let her change a bandage let alone be in charge of medications. I hope her job is 100% paper pushing
How is that possible being an RN and so ignorant? I'm a retired Ron that shocks me. My son is an RN and knew proper way girls need to wipe by like 13 or younger and he's male. Geesh
10:00 I rarely disagree with Charlotte, but I donor this one. It’s not about the quilt, it’s about this person showing everyone in the family that she clearly doesn’t like this couple (sister-in-law), or value their childfree family. And her then lying about the reason for not making the quilt. It’s mean behaviour
I’m ChildFree too & this woman isn’t entitled to this woman’s time or quilts that she makes. Yes the MIL shouldn’t have lied to her but she was probably trying to spare her feelings but she kept pushing so she told her the harsh truth. DIL is entitled to have her feelings hurt but not to insist on a quilt from her MIL.
Honestly, If I’d heard my MIL saying that crap to my brother/sister-in-law to get out of the picture because « family only », I would have stood out of this and said out loud « let’s get the f out of the frame grandma only wishes for blood relatives not the added pieces ».
@@FernRoses what they mean is that that would have meant that all the husbands/wifes/grandkids would have gotten out of the frame and grandma would be sitting there with only her actual children
I think her wife should have resolved that with her family. As Charlotte says, she should have refused to be in the photo if her partner was excluded. This deletion of decent photos in the absence of family is - meh. She put the burden of revenge on her wife.
Little details for the first story. The husband never blames his mother and always says to OP that she is overreacting. OP said in some comments from her reddit post, that he blamed HER for MIL barging in on them being "busy". First time he said she should have locked the bedroom door and second time, he even blamed her because they were "busy" in another room than the bedroom. Sadly no update if she left him.
@@abiean222 same. It's awkward enough but being blamed for that and having your husband say it's not a big deal that she barges in in their home? Such insanity
I know its all in fun but that story about the grandma saying little girls don't have fully formed body parts is terrifying to me and I know for a fact there are plenty of sick people who have believed that and have done horrible things. Scary af
For the quilt girl: She could have simply told her mother-in-law that she felt excluded from something she saw as a family tradition. She could say that as her mother-in-law was getting older she was afraid that she wouldn't have children in time for her mother-in-law to make the quilt, and that she would be very happy to receive the quilt even if it was incomplete, That she would make the effort of filling in the missing parts later with the children that were to come, or at least that her son would have a fond memoeir to keep of his mother
It really shows that Charlotte's parents treated her and her brother the same, which is great. OP in the quilt story was a bit too direct to be polite, but as someone who has been treated differently and judged by different standards to my brother all my life, that kind of blatant disregard hurts, badly. Is OP entitled to a quilt? No. But OP is right to be upset about it and she shouldn't have to hold her tongue about it.
I’d take the L and write the MIL off. If she doesn’t want to make a quilt (obviously because she doesn’t like the OP) that’s fine. The OP should put the same amount of energy as MIL does on their relationship.
I feel ya, buddy. As the overlooked older child who watched family members spoil the bejeebus out of my younger siblings and cousins, I'm not entitled to nice gifts but it sure feels bad to not get any consideration. Hell, I took the 18th birthday gift of a jellybean in a "Happy 90th Birthday" card as graciously as I could at the time and then bawled my eyes out in my room that night, realizing that I wasn't even a consideration when it came to family members I'd spent so much time, money and consideration on. It sucks and hurts and I was never able to go burned bridges because I'm too much of a pushover, but from my side of the fence, I'll never see those family members like I used to. It taints all the good times to know that you meant less than nothing to people who meant so much to you. And it sounds like she was really looking forward to 'being part of the family' and accepted by MIL. It's just sad.
More flies with honey... Seriously, she could have shown some empathy for MIL's sore hands... She COULD have said how much she valued the hard work. She could have even offered to HELP, have MIL teach her how to quilt, while working on hers. She could have promised that it would stay in the family as an heirloom... MANY ways she could have worked this, including being a gracious person when being told no. Instead she acted like an entitled brat. I kinda believe that this might not be the only time she has shown this kind of attitude, and could be the REAL reason MIL doesn't like her, or want to do that much work for her. MIL should tell her to "kitch her a$$".
Went through something similar, my ex MIL used her key numerous times and one episode she caught us in the shower ! For spite, I walked out of the bathroom without clothing or towels and gave her full view of my young self ! I went into my bedroom and made my ex walk out naked also because he thought his mom was ok to walk in like that !
For those who don't know, making a quilt is HARD. There is a reason that there were/are quilting clubs. Entire GROUPS would get together to make one quilt. It takes *SO* much time and effort. I'm talking anywhere from 30-40 hours worth of labor.
On the AITA post about the quilts, that one got me fired right up! Haha. I make quilts, and have since I as a teenager. 15+ years of making them. Mine are all machine done, but I was apart of a group of women who had a few that hand sew quilts and I was aware that was a skill I could never force myself to possess. Each of my quilts, depending on size, range from $500 to $1,000 of supplies. I have never made one in exchange of money, only gifts and they were personally chosen for the recipient. (ie. fabric, pattern, etc.) All of my quilts are unique to me, meaning none have the same pattern/fabric. I recently made one for my brother that was a Labyrinth pattern and it was fun but challenging and took me 6 months to finish. Since doing it, I have had other's request I make them one (for free of course), because "You already did one, so you already know how to do it." My brother's quilt was specific to him, due to him picking the theme of Optical Illusion, and he chose the fabric himself. The over all finished product was a surprise. Just a side note, none of my quilt recipients asked for a quilt, which made it all the more fun because they weren't expecting it. My brother was the exception because the one I made for him as a teenager was falling apart and not fixable. The new one was a replacement, and many friends and family could not understand how he has two, and they have none. The old one is packed away as a keepsake, and the new one he uses. (By uses, I mean he takes it everywhere, even when he is camping in a hammock.) I see both sides to the post, but I ultimately am siding with the MIL. MIL is a bit of an A because she could have offered to make something else more suited to their "Lifestyle" or OP could have asked for a different style, or something unique for her and hubby, but to outright demand a "family" quilt because the other "families" got one is ridiculous. Slow clap for MIL who put her foot down and won't make any now. I have a no-list in my FAMILY because they threw a toddler tantrum and felt entitled to one. OP sounds like an entitled brat and burned a definite bridge. Would love to hear a MIL point of view update on that one. Seems like there was more to the story that OP purposefully left out.
The quilt story reminded me of my sister-in-law. She is a cross stitcher, and she has a tradition of making these little square ornaments that have the name of family members and then some sort of artwork that represents the individual, giving them to my mom for the family tree. I'm literally the only family member who has not got one because I'm gay, single and childless, and she doesn't think it would be appropriate on a Christmas tree. Only difference is that I truly do not give a shit. haha
I just don't understand why people are like your SIL. I'm sure you don't really care, but it still has to hurt a little bit. I can't believe your mom wouldn't call her out on this behavior. I know I certainly would have if she excluded one of my children.
@@shirleyroache3875 My mom has done, but she also accepts that my SIL is a born again bigot, and she has never liked her. She thinks the most fitting punishment for my brother is that he's married to her. lol
While I would also feel sad about being the only one to not receive a quilt, quilts are insanely labor intensive. Not only is it perfectly reasonable for MIL to take a break after making 4 quilts, why would you want a quilt from someone who doesn't like you? After that behavior, she would probably just be thinking negative thoughts about OP the whole time she was working on it. That's not the kind of energy you want to put into a handmade gift.
With the quilt story, the solution was definitely not to demand a quilt from her. But there were ways of suggesting other options. If I were to say anything, I would at most ask for her to make a couple of quilt squares so I could commission another quilter to finish it.
omg imagine if there was a ✨special✨ 1-hour or something vid of lots of different petty people, then charlotte arranging them in a tier list 😂j would totally love that!!
My daughter lives alone and I have a key to her home but I have never used it without her specifically asking me to go do so. Even when she’s expecting me, I knock before opening her door. She’s made it clear that she doesn’t care if I just walk in but I feel like it’s a matter of respecting my adult child’s space.
you and your team make the best freaking videos. All of the little inserts from movies or what not that totally blend in with what you’re saying has me rolling on the floor laughing every single fucking time. I really appreciate what you’re doing, you have such a wonderful personality, and your team seems to match it completely. Much appreciation to the joy that you bring and the truth, and the fact that you are so kind and thoughtful
On the quilt one idk. I’m torn. If all the other family members have one idk why they wouldn’t? Kids or no kids. On the same front, as someone who crochets, I do blankets for family when I have the time. My mom got the first family blanket I made. That was a year ago. My niece is next. Eventually I’ll make everyone one, but since I do them on my own time I get where the MIL is coming from
"My husband didn't think it was a big deal." ABSOLUTELY NOT! That is the WORST. And he asked for her phone? Tried to say she was the one acting childish? She's his Number Two. Emotional abuse and gaslighting, respectively. Divorce! Divorce, I say!
I cross stitch and I can safely say I would REFUSE ON PRINCIPLE to make something if someone DEMANDED I made it for them. Doesn’t matter if I made it for everyone else in that family. No one demands I hand make something for them. PERIOD
My grandmother did a quilt for my son when he was born. I could tell by the stitching that she was getting to old to quilt. I treasure it and passed it on to my son a couple of months ago. I appreciate her time and effort to give such a gift. I didn't ask for it and I know she worked very hard on it. Love labor. I am 60 and my son is 27. My grandmother has passed and I know how important her love for quilting was. Never ask someone for something, only appreciate it when it is given out love on their own time.
Completely disagree with Charlotte on the Quilt story. Sure OP could have said it better, but as someone who doesn't want kids, we get lot's of rude comments from family members all the time just because we don't want kids. So the MIL making a quilt for everyone except her and her husband is just rude. Saying pets aren't family is just messed up too. It's not fair to make something for everyone, but leave one particular person/couple out. Like personally for me, I love giving my friends presents!! It would be like if I gave all my friends a present, but left one person out just because they did or didn't have a kid, something weird like that. It was also interesting to read the comments and see a ton of people actually do not think OP is the AH, or atleast ESH. Also, the last post was gold, so petty, I love it! lol
I agree! I felt a bit weird about her asking about getting a quilt, but I completely understand her feeling hurt by the MIL making these incredibly sweet, personalized quilts for literally every other one of her kids and their significant others, but not planning to make one for them. It seems incredibly rude and unkind of the mother-in-law to say that she's never going to make them a quilt, just because they don't have kids and "don't have enough stuff to fill up the space." That's a ridiculous cop out. I can maybe understand OP seeming kind of entitled if only 1 or 2 of the siblings had gotten a quilt, but it was literally every other sibling except her husband and her, so it's clearly excluding them.
I mean first of all it’s a gift and everyone is entitled to decide who they gift to. Also the quilt has a whole symbolic as something she gets to do with her grandkids clothings or baby blanket and ultimately for them so technically she doesn’t have kids that’s why she’s not getting a quilts. The MIL said she’s not doing a quilt for dogs not that dogs aren’t family and rightfully so. They are family just not kids who are the symbolic of her quilts
@@analea6531 Your opinion isn't going to change my mind lol, so I'm not sure why you bothered to comment. It's still rude to exclude someone, unless it was done privately away from everyone so that they didn't know. I'm going to mute this notification, so feel free to argue into the void Karen.
12:14 she’s entitled to think she’s owed a quilt. But these comments stating that they’re meant to be passed down to kids. My mom makes me a quilt every other Xmas and I have no children. You don’t need children just to receive a quilt
Story 1: Hoo boy. I hope she gets far, faaaaaaaar away from husband and his nutty family. 😳 (Also, the sneeze illustration just about killed me, lol! 😂😂😂)
OMG I LOVE THAT LAST ONE! I’m definitely doing this! I have a certain family member that always excludes me from family photos even though I am the photographer in the family, I buy props and backgrounds for every occasion and she purposely waits till I go to the restroom or an out of the room to make sure I’m not in her pictures. This is fantastic idea!!! 😈
These are all pretty insane. The quilt thing though I wanted to share. My maternal great grandma would make quilts for all the babies in the family. When I was about 7/8 she was hospitalized and ended up passing. Before she passed while in the hospital my mom decided to make her one for a change. Only one ever made too. I remember my mom taking a photo of me and my best friend holding it up to send my grandpa before sending the quilt. After she passed my family had gone to collect her belongings and someone had stolen the quilt. They literally stole a home made quilt from a dead woman. My mom was furious. We lived across the country and she had originally requested to get it back after passing because she made it but it was also the last thing she got to do for her beloved grandma. We at least have photos of it and one of gg with it. People really out here having the gall.
Ref the quilt story… My aunt made quilts for both my sisters when they got married. But not for me since I never got ‘married’, despite living with my now husband for the last 20 years. I do feel hurt, because these quilts are just beautiful and special. But I would NEVER ask for one!
I’m completely dumbfounded as to why these MIL’s feel this entitled. As a mother to two sons, they will always be my babies in my ❤but I realize they are grown and can make their own choices and decisions. This maintains the relationship and the respect as well. I guess these MIL’s have failed to realize this. Love you Charlotte ❤
It got nothing to do with them being MILs. They are horrible human beings, and this manifests itself as parents, and in laws. I know a guy, that when his mother realised that his sister and brother in law won't let her control, she faked a suicide attempt on their wedding day. My friend, unfortunately, decided not to take the route his sister took. His life are a mess. It's narcissistic personality trait.
I had a key to my parents place - they lived over 4 hours away from us and we would drive down after work on a Friday night and arrive around 11pm or even later. Since they were elderly, they sometimes would go to bed before we arrived so we would let ourselves in quietly and go to bed. If they were up, we would be met with cups of tea, hot toast or crumpets often cooked over the open fireplace in winter and lots of hugs. When I first moved out of home, I was working in a research lab where things could get messy (think blood etc) so one of my best mates who lives a few streets away had a key to my place and I to hers just in case either of us needed help, a sudden change of clothes, got sick etc and also since our parents were several hours away. One time I got completely covered - don't ask..- and she was able to dash to my place and grab me some clean clothes while I had a shower and cleaned up at work rather than driving home wrapped in God knows what, making my car smell like a dumpster for weeks after. We are still friends and its been nearly 40 years now since we first met at uni and I would trust her with the keys to my house any day... my ex mother in law.....NEVER!!!!!
The quilt story... How's she's entitled? Everyone gets a quilt except the couple with no kids but has dogs? Honestly, I would feel hurt and left out of the family dynamic from that moment. OP wanted to know the real reason why she wouldn't be getting a quilt and when she pressed MIL buttons that's when she got the true reason and it's such a stupid reason... Maybe OP doesn't want to have kids. Maybe OP can't have kids and didn't felt like sharing that to the family. Either way, some people consider their dogs as part of the family, as their own kids... I do, with my cats and I love when my MIL says "Your babies" referring to my cats. After that interaction I would never ever again attend any dinners, parties, celebrations, birthdays, etc... If you don't like me then I don't like you too.
I agree! I felt a bit weird about her asking about getting a quilt, but I completely understand her feeling hurt by the MIL making these incredibly sweet, personalized quilts for literally every other one of her kids and their significant others, but not planning to make one for them. It seems incredibly rude and unkind of the mother-in-law to say that she's never going to make them a quilt, just because they don't have kids and "don't have enough stuff to fill up the space." That's a ridiculous cop out. I can maybe understand OP seeming kind of entitled if only 1 or 2 of the siblings had gotten a quilt, but it was literally every other sibling except her husband and her, so it's clearly excluding them.
My daughter and I both sew patchwork quilts. It takes abut 4 hours of day 1 to find and select the fabrics and pattern, 4 hours the second day to do the cutting, four hours a day for about 3 or 4 days to sew the pieces together correctly according to the pattern, 4 hours to assemble the blocks into the quilt top, and about 4 hours to put the quilt top, batting, and backing onto a long-arm quilting machine and quilt the project. It can take anywhere from 3 weeks to (NOT making this up) 30 YEARS to finish a quilt project depending on time, schedule, deadlines, having enough fabric, starting a project, putting it away to work on something else, picking it up again and finishing it months or years later, yeah, quilting IS "the slowest way to make a blanket"! So when I made my sister a quilt of her favorite bright colors and hand-quilted it and sent it to her for her birthday ---- weeks later I get a report her "significant other" (he-who-is-so-rude-he-shall-not-be-named) not only hated it but wanted to use it as a DOG BLANKET for the dog who HATES MY SISTER and is always biting her behind significant other's back! I told sister to ship it back to me ASAP. Daughter's quilts have won major awards at the county fair. OH HELL NO we ain't making a quilt for no dogs UNLESS you specifically ask for one AND purchase the washing-machine safe fabrics. On the other hand, every single time I have done a sewing/mending job for anyone, they have never spoken to me again afterward. So I only offer to help someone sew something if I need to....... (heeheeheeheehee)
Quilt story: OP sucks for feeling entitled to a handmade quilt, however, MIL also sucks for gifting the quilts to everyone in front of OP & her husband. I would have felt some sort of way too, but I wouldn’t have confronted MIL or demanded a quilt.
I'm in the ESH camp myself for the quilt story. Excluding someone from the "special family gift" just because they don't have kids is really sucky (I mean, what if they *couldn't* have kids?), but honey was way too pushy about it. I'm a fiber artist myself, and the "I want a kitschy cute thing" rather than "I want an incredible family heirloom" attitude is pretty aggrevating. Also, as a physically disabled fiber artist, the whole "little break" thing really pissed me off. Yes, these things are hard work and can cause a lot of pain, which sometimes requires rest and recovery!
@tessa98239 im not sure that mil was demanding kids in exchange for quilt tbh. Fil told op that, then she called , mil said she tired. Op said no its because of kids right, RIGHT? if i was mil , eveb if i was planning to do that quilt, i would say yes just f off
I feel like her husband is totally entitled to a quilt! People are so afraid of seeming "entitled" these days... But he was totally entitled to that quilt!! You know why? Because not getting a quilt while all his siblings did basically sends a message his mother doesn't love him as much. Do you not think he is entitled to being as loved by his MOTHER as his siblings??? I think he does. The wife was acting "entitled" not because she feels she deserves a quilt but because her husband deserves it... And she was being a good wife sticking up for him... It's so sad how many people say she's in the wrong because "oh the entitlement", the entitlement is correct. It's like going to a restaurant, they serve you the wrong dish and you demand the right dish, you have the right to be entitled... So did they!!! >:(
My family always exchange emergency keys. In case someone goes to the hospital. We can go in To take care of dogs and get clothes for them. We have never used them to snoop on each other.
I was at my mother in law's house. And we were taking pictures. My wife, her mom, her step dad, and her sister, and my baby were there, and her mom's dog. We took a picture. Then MIL announced, "now I want to take a picture just of the family. And she said, "get out of the picture" to me AND MY WIFE. And insisted I take a picture of MIL, step dad, wife's SISTER, and MY SON (but not either of his parents), and THE DOG! MIL brought the dog into the picture and called the dog "her daughter."
For the quilt one, I think kindness would have went a long way. I think if she talked to the grandmother and she explained how being left out made her feel, the grandmother might have decided to make one after all. Or she may not have, and that's okay too.
@silentsaturn7604 and it's ALSO not okay to think your entitled to something that costs a lot of money, time, and effort for FREE but you forgot to mention that too in your comment 😉
The wiping story does have an update but I guess it got deleted because the account is deleted. The MIL seriously thought the vagina doesn't developed until puberty and after being shown evidence that that is NOT the case, she apologized and was really embarrassed. She claimed that when she was growing up that's what her mother had told her and since she grew up in an era where talking about your body was a huge social no-no, she never learned otherwise. It's been a while since I've seen this story so my recollection of the update may be a bit off, but I do remember the MIL apologizing and the whole thing was just generational ignorance on anatomy.
About the Quilt, I would be hurt beyond belief, if everyone in the family got a quilt and i didn't. I probably wouldn't have asked her about it though. I would leave that up to my husband. I have a quilt from my Great Grandmother and my Great Aunt.
My grandmother was an amazing quilter. She gave one to every child and grandchild when the got married. I was in my 30’s, living abroad with my significant other. When I was back visiting, my Grandmother told me she made a quilt for me and my Mom had it at her home. She had also made ones for other grandchildren that were in their 30’s and not married. My Mom refused to give it to me because I wasn’t married. Grandma stepped in and I now have the quilt. My Mom’s reasoning was that if I broke up with him that I’d leave the quilt. I laughed so hard. That would be one of the first things I’d pack.
10:53 look, it’s obvious favoritism. MIL made the quilts to EVERYONE else. OP is being slighted. And had the right to be upset. And calling out MIL isn’t an AH thing. BUT demanding it does make OP TAH.
I agree completely. I think this is a clear case of ESH. MIL sucks for showing favoritism for lifestyle choices, and DIL sucks for trying to demand something that requires a huge amount of work and costs a lot to make.
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
If my husband yelled at me for wanting privacy in MY OWN HOME I'd definitely rethink the marriage.
Toxic families tend to hate truth tellers. What a set of horrible boundaries!
Seems like that’s something that should have been uncovered before marriage
Honestly I hope she is ok the way she said she locked herself in the bedroom that he got supper mad
@kearstinnekenerson6676 I hear you! I've been in an abusive relationship before, and this looks scary.
Girl needs some self defense classes. Learn how to duck and throw those hands back!
@@PeopleRTheProblema lot of terrible people like to hide that side of themselves until they've "locked down" their partner. Abusers and narcissists do this all the time. Some wait until after you've moved in together, some wait until the wedding night. It's not that hard to find stories of people who's spouse literally changed overnight after they got married. Terrible people love being deceptive.
Pediatrician here. There’s also another “hole” down there. It’s called a urethra and wiping forward can lead to serious bladder infections.
As a child, I’ve experienced a serious infection while on a family vacation. Ended up in the ER in Mexico.
I knew how to wipe correctly but I just got sick.
Also, I didn’t drink any water. Only juice/soda for two weeks straight (lied to my mom by pretending to drink water because I scared of ‘Mexico water’
So many people just call the whole vulva the “vagina.” I had to remind myself of that with this story.
@@FernRosesif you had ice, you had water. My husband learned that the hard way.
@@FernRoses Similar situation. Got the runs once and ended up with a monster UTI that required two rounds of antibiotics and one of them gave me tendonitis.
@@FernRosesHi, mexican here, yes its true you cant drink the water in México but only the tap water because it has way to much chlorine and salt (great for plants)its safe to shower and wash dishes with but not to drink, that's why we have sparkling water everywhere and you can buy big water jugs in every corner store, I'm sorry that happened to you, that should have been explained to you before traveling.
Never marry a man who won't set a boundary with his mother and allows her walk all over his wife isn't worth marrying
Been there, done that!
PERIODT!!!
Mommas boys 🤢
Absolutely agree and now that I am a MIL, I'm very aware of this BS and often stay away from their lives etc., I wait until I'm invited over and fine with this as my kid is grown unfortunately though many parents see their kids as perpetual children which is sad.
@@questionmark9819thank you for being a normal and kind MIL! I was blessed with two wonderful MILs (my husband has a step mother) and they’re the kindest most wonderful people who raised and co-parented an amazing man.
I still can’t believe there are women out there like those crazy horror MILs. Thanks for being normal!! 🩵 much happiness to you and your family!
About the ‘real vagina’ one: I remember reading this one a while ago. It turns out her family was really prudish and did not discuss anything remotely sex related. Plus lack of sex education in school when she was growing up, she only had to go on what she vaguely remembered her own mother telling her. It never came up with her own daughters, miraculously they didn’t suffer any infections.
There was a good resolution and his wife talked to her and caught grandma up on all the pertinent health related bits. Grandma was very understanding after the initial fight. They all apologized as well because the father realize he had been a bit rude and could have handled it better
I'm glad to hear that - I assumed that her reaction was at least part embarrassment, because she did raise three girls and why does this man know more than she does? I didn't see her as stupid, because lord knows I got zero sex ed or useful anatomy lessons in a fundie christian environment. Glad it all worked out ❤️
@@not_you_i_dont_even_know_you honestly, that one is kind of comforting to know. Not a monster, not a bitch, just uneducated. There's cures for that.
I actually read that too and was going to comment but you beat me to it. It happened to a lot of women, they just didn't talk about those things way back. My poor mother told me she started menstruation and had no idea and thought she was going to bleed to death. Her mother hadn't talked about anything with her yet and she swore she wouldn't let that happen to her daughters so she talked with us sooner rather than later and basically was matter of fact so we would not freak out like she did. I was glad this story had a good update.
I thought the exact same!! The father saying he was more capable was a total low blow, the grandma probably hadn't a clue what happened :( the dad sounds like a jerk
I'm a fundie Christian myself, and our kids (who are 10 and under) all know how babies are made, the reproductive organs, and periods. It's super important to know everything about that, especially when they are curious and asking questions!
My grandma made afghans for all of my cousins when they got married or moved in with a significant other. She made me one, too, and made some comment about not wanting to make me feel left out because I wasn’t in a relationship. I wasn’t even mad because she was so cute and sincere about it.
That is so sweet 💕
Exactly how it should be so sweet.
As a crafter, I can't imagine excluding family to punish them for not doing what you want. No one is ever obligated to make things, but man, if you make a choice like that MIL, you are sending a message.
That first MIL set herself up by bringing it up in front of everyone! Goodness. What’s even worse is the husband being upset at his own wife for it all. Therapy my friends. It’s a gift.
seriously, she outed herself.
She abused the privilege before so she deserved the fake key. She proved that she would abuse it again and then thought she was so in the right that she called her out in the front of family but didn't like getting humbled. 😂
She brought it up in front of everyone intending on the dil being the one that was shamed and embarrassed. It backfired and she was. She fully intended on feeling victorious and smug when the dil looked bad in front of the family. She didn’t call her privately on the phone, she planned to do this at a large family gathering on purpose. Then karma stepped in and B slapped her into the kitchen. Sounds fair.
J
I recommend the op run. Far. It’s NOT going to get better.
My MIL was staying over once and as me and my wife were leaving something told me to lock our bedroom. Later that day she asked my wife “why do we lock our bedroom door when we leave?” My wife’s perfect response (even not knowing I locked it because we never do) “how would you know it was locked unless you were trying to go in? Why were you trying to go into OUR room?” 😂
@@missmayflower it was an amazing moment for sure. Thanks!
Maybe she was trying to clean the whole house and noticed that one room was closed? I know people who, it they are cleaning, would find it rude to exclude some parts of home. I wouldn't be mad just by this story itself. If there's a history of invading privacy then yes.
@@TacseraEpSekahs There is absolutely no reason why anyone should go into someone else's bedroom without asking... period. It is a HUGE invasion of privacy. If she really was just going in there to clean she could have asked and done that while they were home. The fact that she tried to go in there when they weren't home and without asking if it was ok first, clearly shows that she was only going in there to snoop.
@@TacseraEpSekahs there was absolutely no cleaning involved. Even if there was, you don’t go into a room that is not yours without permission. Even worse, finding it closed and wanting an answer as to why it was closed?
@@jeanams07personally if my children treated me like outsiders, i would never speak to them again and they won't be welcome too.
Story 1: The husband is embarrassed by his wife posting the story on Reddit, but not by his mom walking in on them? TWICE?! 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
I hate to immediately say divorce to an AITA story.... but this man is not on his wife's side, has never been on his wife's side, and will never be on his wife's side. For the rest of his life, he's going to choose his mother over her every. single. time. Divorce babes, divorce.
Plus he knows he’s a momma’s boy who who is manipulative or his mom is manipulative..
Agreed. If my husband behaved like that, he'd have to go... If she lets the MIL win this one, her behaviour will only get worse. We've seen the lengths she'll go to (tantrum in the kitchen at Christmas), she's not going to get better without being corrected.
The MIL sounds awful, but the spineless husband lashing out at his wife for daring to stand up to her is worse. My BIL's mother can be overbearing, but he stands up to her. For my sister, that makes all the difference in the world, because it stops the MIL becoming unbearable and reins in her behaviour. Because she's given enforced boundaries, it would never get to a 2 year old's hissy fit because she didn't get her own way.
OP deserves better...
divorce. like yesterday. I'm not one to jump to that, but this isn't salvageable.
Oh absolutely! I lived with my MIL for several years and she was totally respectful if our privacy and it was her house! Best MIL ever may she RIP, so missed! This situation is ridiculous! On top of it the MIL here started the whole thing by bringing it up at dinner in the first place! She was trying to get the OP in trouble but it backfired then she threw a temper tantrum to get her way and that worked! What a horrible woman! That whole family sucks and I wouldn't even want to try and work things out if I would be stuck with them for in-laws!
Agree
MIL is the one who brought it up at the Christmas dinner. MIL wanted to shame OP and it backfired on her. She so deserved her humiliation.
Came here to say this. Thank you. 😊
Yep. She played herself.
Same “grandma” as my previous post, quilt edition. She was a prolific quilter, all done totally by hand. As each grandchild got married they received a quilt as her wedding gift. They were gorgeous! Detailed piecing, intricate stitching, embroidery, the works. A true heirloom. Three others got married before me, dad’s oldest brothers kids, and theirs were spectacular. I honestly didn’t expect to get one when I got married, she never much cared for me. Imagine my surprise when, at my wedding shower, when there was a quilt size box there from her. I was so excited to open it, all the Canyon people leaning forward to see what design she had chosen for me. It was a plain, blue and white nine patch, alternate blocks in plain white, white back, plain quilted. What we would have called a beginner quilt. In one corner, embroidered in white, on a white block, were our names and our wedding date. I made a monumental effort not to let her know how hurt I was. The Canyon people were all looking at each other, shaking their heads. They were as shocked as I was, but I knew no one would be brave enough to call her on it. Later, when I went to thank her, to told her I was so happy about the pattern she chose because it would look so crisp and clean and would really set off the lovely white pillow shams with blue embroidery my future mother in law had made for me. “Oh, well, I’m glad you like it, I embroidered the names and date in white so you can still use it if the marriage doesn’t work out.”
Wowww, I am so sorry. I would have a really hard time not crying 😭
What a witch except Reddit won’t let me use the word that begins with the letter “b”! - I’d probably have said - why that’s just so practical and thoughtful of you! Maybe if I get divorced and married multiple times, we could just add all that extra information on the quilt - it could be like one of those old fashioned bibles from centuries past that kept all the data! And hey if I don’t get divorced and remarried I could just add when family members die - you know, their names and the date of their death and maybe what killed them!
Your mother has walked in on ya'll doing the deed and it's not a big deal?! I would be so grossed out and such an invasion of privacy!
And it happened MORE THAN ONCE
Honestly!! Like wth and he took his momma side like what a mommas boy he needs to stand by his wife
You'd see smoke and flames as I did a burnout getting to the local divorce attorney.
He grew up on the toxicity so it's normalized for him now, unfortunately. Before ppl marry anyone, they should really look into the family and their dynamic first. It's hard to grow out toxic grooming
He probably still breast feeds, too, when his wife isn't around
For that first story, the woman called herself out 🤣 she thought she'd be shaming DIL without remembering that she broke a promise she could totally be called out on. She didn't have to bring this up in front of everybody unless she thought DIL wouldn't have the spine to respond in front of everyone. That's too funny.
Yeah, hubby was mad because wifey called mom out but conveniently ignores that wifey would’ve said nothing if mom hadn’t first. In our family we have two sayings. Same team (ours before all others) and don’t start none, won’t be none (most for the fur babies but ya know).
shes delulu and think everyone would be on her side by throwing a tantrum and it worked... on her own family at least
Honestly, wife needs to opt out of that marriage. Some major red flags
That husband will no doubt give his mother a valid key.
Set up hidden cameras and glitter traps. Especially around the birth control
No you are not the A hole. Him and his Mother are the A holes.
She should change the locks if MIL gets a valid key. And then do it again every time MIL gets the updated key. She can say her key works and claim she has no idea why the other ones don’t work.
@@nellybean69that was my first thought. Maybe she should change the locks and not give keys to either her MIL or her hubs.
MIL gets the real key and wife will get the fake key 🙃
My grandmother deliberately made my mother feel 'less than' by gifting every other adult woman in the family matching presents, but excluding her. For example, my grandmother had a gold charm which contained an onyx doublet sandwiched between two crystal layers set in a fancy gold bezel. Upon the doublet, the first letter of her name was set in tiny diamonds. One by one, everyone got one, beginning with her two daughters -- my aunts, and then moving to her son's wives. She gifted each daughter, and then her DILs a smaller version of the same pendant, each with the letter of their own first name. All except my mother.
Grandmother didn't gift them out all at the same time. One aunt would come in to a family gathering wearing her necklace, then a few months later, the next aunt.
Initially, my mother thought she probably hadn't gotten a necklace yet, because she was the most recently married into the family. There were 5 boys, and the eldest two were married by now, and she was the wife of the second.
Then my grandmother began giving the wives of her brothers, and then the wives of her husbands brothers, their own pendants. Same thing, each personalized with the initial of their first name.
Again, it felt weird that my mother hadn't been given her own necklace yet, but all the wives of the grandparents brothers had also been married into the family before my mother, so there was a certain logic.
There were still 3 unmarried brothers, and at some point, the next one married. Almost immediately, the newest DIL was gifted her own necklace by my grandmother.
It was pretty clear after that, that my mother's was being excluded. Her feelings were very hurt, and she was very angry at being so passive aggressively singled out in that manner, in a family that was huge, who saw and spent time with each other daily.
It was very sad, and significantly impacted my mother's happiness, and peace of mind.
Your mother should get her own necklace done up in the same way and wear it at the next family gathering without telling anyone she got it for herself, it would totally make grandma seethe in anger because she can't really say anything about it without outing herself as deliberately excluding her in front of everyone, and mother gets a lovely necklace. She could even lie and say she received it in the mail and simply thought it was her necklace from grandma, just delivered differently compared to everyone else, "what do you mean it isn't the gift you give to all the women in the family, grandma? Look at it, it looks identical to X family members! I'm glad to finally be getting my necklace after all these years, grandma!" just to watch her squirm and get that petty revenge back on her
I think it will be very thoughtful of you if you gifted your mother one exactly the same necklace maybe add something meaningful a way of expressing your love for your mother. That might help her feel better if you make it special for her. Or you can get matching ones as well. No one should make your mother feel that way it’s cruel.
@@Manj_J I totally agree, that would make her out herself if she did that. 😂
Why do people stay in marriages that have this level of disrespect directed at them.
Take your kids and go. You are better off single
@@Manj_Jlove your thinking!!! When school girl, I was told few of us would get a book as a gift from school for being top students. Only later to be told I would be excluded, and another kid would get it instead. I was sad and crying, so my mom bought me a book as a gift for the year end, then she wrote a beautiful note, mentioned my school achievements, and managed to press a big stamp to simulate the official school gift look lol... I couldn't be happier.
Your reply made me remember this moment. I hope OPs mom is still around, to get matching gift from others who love her.
I still regularly use a quilt my great grandmother made. Back then, you couldn't waste anything. So all of the quilts my great grandmother made are the clothing my grandmother and her sister wore. These quilts also last forever.
That first story screams emotional incest. Poor girl will never be able to compete with mommy dearest. She deserves someone better.
My stepdad married my mom when I was five. My stepgrandma never approved of my sister and I, even though my stepdad treated us as his own daughters. We were the oldest of all the grandkids in that family and even lived with her for a year. I was the only one with her on the day she died. At her funeral, my sister and I were startled to hear from the pastor that she made quilts for all the grandkids (6 others) for their high school graduations. She did? Quilts? We didn't get a quilt. We were sad, but less sad after hearing that. The wild thing is that Grandma was sent away when she was a little girl to be raised by other family members because she was born into a family of 11 kids, and there wasn't enough food/space/resources. You would think she would have known what it felt like to be treated as "other."
@kiwifreund It's very odd but sometimes we learn what the perpetrator does and do it their way instead of taking our negative experience and turning it around. I hope that made sense, it did in my head.
😢
@@sallymb6356You made sense. My mom didn't like being abused so she was abusive. Yep my sister didn't like the way our mom acted she acted just like her. Unfortunately some people can't take the lesson they learned and turn it around into something positive. I took what I learned and made it a positive situation. I hope that I have never hurt somebody bad by things I said and I'm hoping that I will die smiling like my birth mother did even though she had a horrific life instead of being an angry pouting screaming banshee like my adoptive mother did. The sad thing is I look like both of them My husband said are we in the Twilight zone when I met my birth parents after not seeing them since I was 2 years old because you will not believe this They looked exactly alike They even aged to the point that they could have been brothers and sisters I kid you not. My adopty father looked healthier than my birth father because my birth father was an alcoholic The roles were just reversed My adoptive mother was the alcoholic my adoptive father the long-suffering abused spouse. However my birth mother was just as crazy Looney as my birth father and she gave as good as she got when it came to the violence towards each other after spending long conversations with my birth brother who grew up with them I realized maybe things would have been a little better if my mom hadn't slammed a plate full of food on top of my dad's head when he asked what's for dinner. Odd has some people just can't get the lesson.
@@sallymb6356it simply means they are equally as bad as the perpetrator who did it to them the second they actively chose to do it to soneone else.
@@ingloriousbetch4302 That sounds a bit too black and white for me; when a 7 year old who is abused at home turns round and bullies at school, does that make them equally as bad as their abuser? It's what happened to them, what they were taught, they had no other example, it's not necessarily within their power/scope to do otherwise at that point in their lives.
We had a similar situation with the quilt in my family. Background-there are 10 kids in my family and 25 grandchildren. My mom started making a quilt for each grandchild when they got married. My son is in the middle of the pack, but when it was his turn to get a quilt my mom suddenly decided she was tired of making the quilts. Now I can understand that considering the time and expense, but one of my nephews was getting married about 4 months after my son. Mom started talking about the quilt she was going to make for him. I lost it with my mom and didn’t speak to her for about 3 months. It got back to me that she was grudgingly making a quilt for my son, but would state that it was the smallest quilt she had made and she didn’t think it was very pretty. Mind you, my son is probably one of her least favorites of the grandkids, although he has gained some favor because mom really likes the girl he married. Another point I’d like to make is the fact that mom has about 10 quilts that she has made that are just stacked up in her basement. When I mentioned that she could just give my son one of those, her response was that those are “special” quilts. My son has been married for 6 years now and the “special” quilts are still stacked in the basement.
Yeah I definitely was looking for a comment like this, I agree with Charlotte that you're not generally entitled to anyone's time or effort, but in the context of a close relationship like family, it's such a shitty thing to do to only create quilts for some kids/grandkids and not others, unless you have a really valid reason like a history of a disgruntled or unhealthy relationship. Like you have to know that's going to be so hurtful, so at the very least, in both your case and in the Reddit case, those grandmas should have planned some kind of "backup" or "alternative" gift to make it fair for everyone. It's so dumb that you son never even got one of the "special" quilts that clearly aren't being used elsewhere.
And like. It hurts to be left out. It feels like a punishment cause they don’t want kids and aren’t seen as a family. I’m shocked so many think it’s about getting a free thing. It’s about not feeling loved or seen as family
Give your child a quilt from your stash or have a special one made for him .
My family from one side we're only six grandchildren. 2 of the oldest are married with kids. The rest of us are all single and not close being marries or having kids any time soon. My grandmother made quilts for the 2 older ones, me and my younger brother, over 15 years ago. The two youngest ones didn't get cause the type of quilts my grandmother makes are expensive and very time consuming so she was postponing it, and those two cousins moved from place to place, so it was a little inconvenient for them to carry huge quilts here and there. Both older cousins had their home robbed when they were on vacation (they are siblings and lived with their parents when this happened), and for some reason the robber took all the expensive items and the quilts. So the only quits in the family are mine and my brother's. What we decided to do was to pass it on to my cousins kids, and by the time me or my brother have kids, the other kids will be much older. So it's something that we're sharing even though not everyone got one.
Edit: to clarify the two oldest are siblings, my brother and I are the midle ones, and the two youngest are also siblings.
Quilters are a weird bunch, I’m one, so I know that it’s true! It’s hard letting go of something you’ve spent so much time and effort on, especially if you’re just giving it away. I’m hopeful he’ll have one eventually…
My mum made me the most beautiful cream colored, 63 square afghan, with every single square different, and it's big enough to fit on my double, as a Christmas gift.
She wasn't able to finish it by Christmas and I didn't get it until around april...things come up.
I was 1000000% ok with that, just so happy to be getting something from Mum from the heart.
It is my prized possession. ❤
The one about wiping forwards instead of back had an update where the parents sat down with the MIL to explain their reaction and it turned out that the MIL had been taught incorrectly by her mum (I think) when she was young and hadn't questioned it. They resolved their issues and were fine after that. :)
Oh, that is a relief to hear and explains a lot! That post made me so uncomfortable, not only doing it wrong but the MIL assuming girls don't have private parts until they are older. This is why education is so important!
I was taught to wipe from the front to the back when I was being potty trained and learning how to wipe myself. When I started babysat babies and toddlers still in diapers, I was taught to go from the front to the back as a reminder, for both girls and boys. It's not as messy with boys if you wipe from the front to the back, as they have junk in the way if you go the other direction. LOL
I think Charlotte should start a tier list for Momma's boys . It would be funny as hell . 😂
From redeemable to irredeemable to they're married now! 😂
You see the one where the bride walked in on FMIL B-feeding on the future hubby? 😬
Yes please
With a poll we can vote on too 😂
There was or is a program on it following mummies boys and their fiancés. They have the episodes on YT.
For me it a YES she should :D
I just wanna say that my mother is a quilter and makes quilts for everyone in our family, starting when they're babies. My wife and I didn't plan to have human babies but had our dogs and both dogs got a quilt*, exactly like every other baby in the family (except theirs had pics of the dogs printed onto fabric that's in sewn into them). I have 3 quilts of my own and my wife has one and will be getting another (so excited for her to see our son's baby shirts I snuck to my mom that she's going to include as a surprise!!). We took on raising my nephew whom we've adopted and he got one within a couple of months of us getting him. My momma is the best!
Now, all that being said, my momma loves quilting and it's her hobby. She chooses who she makes quilts for and she would never exclude someone just because they have or don't have human children. So, yes, it kinda sucks that that little family is being excluded, but, the MIL is free to make, or not, for whomever she wants. Everyone deserves to know their family, whether they have human children or not, is valid. If I were them, I'd commission a quilt of my own and get something I really loved instead of worrying about someone whose gift only comes if you fulfill their expectations.
*I'm so glad my mother did make the dogs their own quilts because we had to put my dog to sleep about 2½ weeks before unexpectedly having to take on the baby and I'm so glad I have that memorial of something so important to me. She took her last breath on that quilt and I keep it where I can see it every day. 🩷🩷
❤ this was the sweetest thing I’ve read online.
That is so cute ! 🥹 Your mom is a sweetheart. It’s adorable that she made quilts for your dogs. ☺️ You and your wife taking in and adopting your nephew is also heartwarming.
In regard to the Reddit story, I agree with you. If the mother-in-law intended to leave them out for the suspected reason, that doesn’t make her a good person in this story. If the daughter-in-law was demanding a quilt, she was also wrong. If she only wanted to know the truth about whether her mother-in-law planned to leave her and her husband out for not having children, then I believe it was okay for her to ask, but maybe how she went about doing so was not the best.
Your mum is a rare gem. Hold her close.
This WHOLE story! 😭💗
Thanks, everyone 😊 my mom is actually biologically my grandma (dad's mom) but she raised me from 3 months old when my birth-giver signed me away to my daddy and my daddy had to work to support us. She didn't have to raise me and could've given me back to my daddy at any time, but she didn't. I can't imagine how different my life would've been without her as my primary parent. I'm also the only gay person in the family (so far) and not only has she always loved and supported me, but she welcomed my wife with open arms (as she did for all my long-term partners I had before I met my wife). My wife's parents, especially her mother, have been downright awful to her since we got together (and we've been together nearly 10 years and married nearly 9!). I've still never met my MIL because she despises me despite us never having met. My own mother moved to another state a few years ago and she still takes time to reach out to my wife unprompted. I really lucked out when she agreed to raise me. 💜
When I moved out, both of my parents (divorced) asked for their house keys back. I said "Are you sure you dont want me to keep it just in case?" They both said no and basically accused me of sneaking into their houses in the future 🙄. I reminded my father that he VERY often locks himself out, but he insisted so, I gave them back. Both of those idiots locked themselves out of their houses during winter in WI. Wish I could've helped. Oh, well. 🤷😂
To me, this is the main reason for the Emergency Key! I remember the time when we locked ourselves out of our place, and had our firstborn (9 or 10 at the time) climb in through the kitchen window.
@@missnaomi613 this and fire/leaks/any damage to property while you are away and cannot get back to it soon enough
Geez, why are your parents like that that’s terrible man sorry about that. Some adults must’ve been hard growing up with those people. But seems to me you’ve done well, my man, so good for you.
I got married in july, and I still have a key to my parents house but I never intend to use it
I only go there when invited, it's REALLY just for an emergency
That's why I keep a spare door key in a pocket of my coat, together with a spare car key.
I get the feeling that the quilt was just the straw that broke the camel's back - as in OP and husband have probably been excluded or treated differently numerous times. I felt that it wasn't really about the quilt, it was just about being included. But that's just my perspective.
Agreed. I wonder if the SIL stood up for the wife once before
I look at the quilt story a bit differently. My take was that the dil was looking forward to a handmade gift. She might have came at it a bit sideways but I took it that she valued the quilt so much she was excited for it.
And in my uneducated opinion, I feel like just telling MIL that the sister told you she didn’t want to make it as opposed to beating around the bush would’ve been better.
Yeah I think Charlotte’s off base with that one.
we got some entitled idiots in here. I love how you support her demand for a quilt and do not see any wrong doing on the dil part. Just shows how entitled you are and think everyone owes you everything you want. Charlotte is right and it is obvious the MIL does not like dil and you all assume the dil is an angel but it is painfully obvious the dil has done quite a bit to make MIL not like her.
My question to that is this then: if she wanted a beautiful hand made family quilt, and it's clear her MIL won't make one for her, why doesn't she just decide to make one herself? It'll be tough at first, but it can be a new hobby she does that provides her with what she wants.
If I was excited to get something special from a family member and only ended up never getting that thing, I'd go and get it myself.
@@shadowdroid776 we do not exactly know if the MIL was going to make her a quilt. It looks like she wasn't but the problem here is the entitlement of OP for thinking she was automatically going to get a quilt. the MIL should have made her the quilt but they have had problems with each other for a long time. No one knows if OP or MIL started the drama. OP is not innocent in this at all.
omg that first story enraged me SO much.... The MIL got caught using the key, OBVIOUSLY just to snoop, so what does she do? Throws a HUGE temper tantrum to play the victim so of course her precious baby boy will feel like his awful wife hurt poor mama's feelings and should apologize. Absolute bs!!! I would be FURIOUS. That is not the point to be focusing on, and it was exactly why she gave a fake key to begin with! Boundries crossed with a line of fire in the sand, smfh
That MIL clearly has narcissistic personality disorder. Six symptoms : 1. lies about her intentions; 2. does not respect boundaries; 3. wants continued control over everybody and everything; 4. when caught doing very bad, plays the victim of "prank"; 5. when her conspiracy to invade her son's and DIL's privacy is uncovered, goes in hysteric tears and tantrum to deflect; 6. When that doesn't work to her satisfaction, rallies her flying monkeys (children she knows will side with her) to attack the person who exposed her scheme.
These kinds of people cannot be trusted nor reasoned into respecting others. Having had a narcissistic mother myself, I have a plan for DILs who face that kind of problem : after giving her the false key, I would prepare for her to bring up the subject and answer by : "Really ? Your key didn't work ? I'm so surprised ! Give it back and I'll have a talk with the locksmith about it." I would give her a real key after a while, having put surveillance cameras (unbeknownst to the husband, of course) everywhere in the house, to definitely catch her sneaking in and rummaging through my things. Then, I would send the footage to the husband. If the husband still sides with his mother, I would divorce and send the footage to the whole family with the message that I only gave permission in case of an emergency which the MIL had declared herself would be the intent.
Id say she was tampering with the birth control
My daughter finally got the keys away from her in-laws when they moved, but unfortunately her husband gave his dad the garage door code. She was home, pregnant and miserable when she heard the garage door open, and father-in-law strode through the house looking for her. She cut the cord to the garage door opener. End of discussion.
What did the father in law do to her? Is she okay??
I'd be livid
Xoxablade4345 They moved to another state not long after that episode. Relationship with her in-laws was never good, but at least there was a good distance from them!
@@MerryAnne2598did her FIL try to stress her out or “speak” to her once he gained access to the main house? Was your daughter okay after this incident?
And it's not the vagina to be worried about. It's the urethra that leads to bladder infection. He was right...she was stoopid.
My dad's new girlfriend told me to wipe in instead of out when I was about 6. I ended up in the hospital with 16 different stomach infections and nearly died. I still remember her teaching me that, a bit of the hospital visit, and then telling my mum about it when she was helping me at the toilet later and I swear I recall the moment it clicked. How that woman's daughter made it to adulthood is beyond me.
Wait, was it malicious or intentional to get you sick?? Or was it stupidity/ not knowing it was wrong.
Apparently I'm wiping incorrectly....
stomach infections? do you mean uterine infections? how did something make it into your stomach? in any case this sounds horrifying, sorry that happened to you.
@@rachelmaddowswife8713
Not a doctor, but I think since the stomach is connected (somewhat) to our private parts via intestines, the bacteria could've traveled to the stomach through the intestines
@@thatonewitch The stomach is in no way connected to your vagina or uterus, all of that stuff is completely separate unless you have some serious internal injuries. The stomach is of course connected to your anus since they're all part of the digestive system, but bacteria don't tend to travel backwards from your colon to your stomach. If that's happening to you, it sounds like a medical emergency.
Your intestines are always filled with bacteria and feces, they're supposed to be there and your body knows how to deal with them. The vagina also has its own bacteria and yeast that live there, but it's different from the microflora of the gut. Getting too much gut bacteria that overgrow and upset the balance in there is a bad thing.
The quilt thing. I felt that. So my grandmother, who was a great grandmother when she passed at 87 had frequently spent tons of time and love and money on almost all the grandchildren and great grandchildren in our family. The exception was my brother and his baby girl. She in a crazy systematic way excluded them from acknowledgement except when bragging about being a great grandmother. It was disturbing. She would even rope in children not related to our family except by marriage to second cousins. I would get so mad hearing her fawn over them. Like there was no relation but she would verbally count them as hers. And my little brother was so hurt by it all, that he basically pretended that she didn't exist. He stopped acknowledging her, too, the last few years of her life. I don't blame him. Being treated that way by someone you have loved all your life is heart-wrenching. But thinking back as an adult, I can remember clearly how she actually treated him growing up. I never recognized before. My grandmother wasn't kind to him at all and punished him more than any other grandchild for trivial things. And a part of me can't forgive her. I do not care that she's dead. She wasn't a very good person if she could treat a child that way.
The quilt story hits kinda home to me. I disagree with Charlotte in that a mother who has done this tradition for all her other children shouldn't exclude anyone. The mom is the AH 100%
Now why this hits home for me is that my grandma loved to crochet. She crocheted blankets for all her grandchildren when they graduated. She sadly passed away long before I could get mine and was starting on my siblings before her health declined. My grandma, regardless loved all of her grandbabies every single one. So the fact that, before the op even said anything, she decided her son wasn't worthy of one was so cruel.
I agree! I felt a bit weird about her asking about getting a quilt, but I completely understand her feeling hurt by the MIL making these incredibly sweet, personalized quilts for literally every other one of her kids and their significant others, but not planning to make one for them. It seems incredibly rude and unkind of the mother-in-law to say that she's never going to make them a quilt, just because they don't have kids and "don't have enough stuff to fill up the space." That's a ridiculous cop out.
I can maybe understand OP seeming kind of entitled if only 1 or 2 of the siblings had gotten a quilt, but it was literally every other sibling except her husband and her, so it's clearly excluding them.
@@schrdngrskat3847 100% agree
No way - who demands quilts or craft work -do you know how much time it takes to make these items? She may wanted the quilts to be passed down to future generations- she (MIL) can choose to offer her craftwork to whomever she wants
@@swordchild0013 thing is it is a tradition and gift she has given to all her other kids except that one son. Yes the wife behaved horrendously but mil was also terrible excluding her one kid from a gift she has given to all his other siblings
@hollowlunax yes they cannot but how would you feel if all your other siblings got something and you didn't because of a life choice you and your partner made together? That your mother who is supposed to love all of you equally favored her other kids with such a personal gift over you
My grandmother was a quilter when she was alive and always made quilts for practically everyone. She gave both of my sisters very nice blankets (she also knitted), but I never got a nice one. The one I got had no rhyme or reason and was basically one she had lying around that she didn't want while other blankets or quilts that people got were ones based off of their favorite things or colors. I believe now that it was because of some petty reasons and issues she had with me. I'm a lot like my mom and she DESPISED my mom so much that I got the short end of the stick. She treated my sisters better than me from what I can recall. While I appreciated the blanket at the time, it left me feeling both disappointed and a bit bitter towards her because she didn't even make the time or the effort to get to know me as her own granddaughter. So, knowing that I would never get a quilt from her like I had always wanted, in my late teens and into my early 20's, I decided to use that bitter feeling to advantage and learned how to quilt for two reasons. So that I could have a common hobby and maybe get close to her, which unfortunately never happened. Also, so that I could make myself the most beautiful quilt I've ever seen. So my advice for the one reddit user, If you want a quilt that badly, go to a hobby store, buy yourself a sewing machine(a good one with all the gadgets but not too fancy is 400), buy some fabric and pull up UA-cam and learn how to quilt yourself. You got this.
I learned to quilt in my twenties, I’m 60 now, and I’ve made many many quilts for all occasions. My favorites are the baby quilts. I have one for myself, my first (not my best). Good for you to learn how!
Yep takes a crafter to spot the bs going on there. And making your own is great affirmation.
My goodness, the fact a father is explaining to a grown woman how to properly clean ones self is beyond words with me. I'd know damn well as a mother who I'm not leaving with my daughter as a babysitter anymore if my husband told me that sh$t
Think about the infections the mil has possibly given her daughters😮 damnn
My niece had a yeast imbalance as a small child. No matter how careful, following a schedule whether she had to go or not, literal daily meds ( not case by case, DAILY), infections came regularly. I can't even imagine how my sister would have gone off on anyone who said little girls don't have real vaginas.
I get that it's more important for women and girls to wipe front to back, but don't men also do that? Even if there's no chance of infection, wiping all the poop into the scrotum to sit there all day doesn't sound like an awesome idea either. This just seems like common sense regardless of genitalia.
As a 27yr old girl who grew up without a mother, idek there was a "correct" way to wipe oneself. Always did back to front due to really not knowing there was a correct way and bc it felt easier then having to bump my arm against the back of the toilet xD
Ig having Scoliosis doesn't help either....
Rip my whole young life I suppose. Never ever got an infection from wiping the "incorrect" way though....
@@TikaaniWolfosjust ewww.
My grandma made quilts all the time and I never thought of demanding one from her. After she passed away, she had a bunch of them in her closet, enough for one to go to each kid/grandkid. It's been 11 years and I still use it on my bed. I love it and I love it even more knowing she made it.
My great grandmother (or could be great grandmother, I forget which) made several amazing quilts by hand. My mother inherited about 4. There are three of us girls, each will be one. We treasure them alot because of all the effort put into them. They still hold up well even after all this time.
Given the reasons WHY the MIL was planning on NOT making one for that couple, I’d call it a classic case of ESH (Everyone Sucks Here)
My grandma made all us grandkids (she had 11) a beautiful baby shawl and knitted hat while she was still able to. She already had very painful arthritis in her hands but eventually she could no longer knit or crochet. At the time half of us didn't have any kids but she made them for us anyway. I only have one kid (now a teen) and Grandma passed away almost a year ago but I still have and really treasure the beautiful baby shawl and hat she made for me!
@@phastinemoonMaybe she just didn't like the DIL, she seems kinda entitled from her post alone. The DIL in law was the one that assume that not having kids was the reason for not having a quilt.
She's not entitled to a quilt, and demanding one isn't gonna make the grandmother be more willing to make one when it takes so much time and it's probably hard on her hands. If someone demanded something from me for free instead of me wanting to make it for them, I would tell them to f off too.
@@cristela4034 She did seem very entitled.I was kinda with her at first but after hearing more and more of the story it was just like yikes yeah maybe you're the problem here lady
I’m a quilter. I love when someone is “quilt worthy” and appreciates the love and labor I put into it. My adult daughter calls it “a long distance hug from mom” and that it got her through rough times during college.
That is so sweet and I totally love this!! This is the best thing I've read in some time!
When I was born, one of my mom's friends made me a quilt and a matching pillow. My name and birthdate were cross stitched on the pillow. The pillow got destroyed when I was about 11, but I had the quilt until I was about 25. Everywhere I went for an overnight, it came with me, even as an adult. Camping, staying with family and friends, going to hotels, etc. It started to fall apart and every small move caused rips, even when I started to handwash it. I was so sad when I had to throw it away and at 43 years old, I still wish I had it. It was one of my most treasured thing I had.
I 100% agree. I can’t design a quilt if I don’t have love in my heart for the person I’m making it for! And if someone ever demanded a quilt, and gave me a DEADLINE, there is NO WAY they would get ANYTHING! It’s not just some kitsch, hipster accessory! It is a tangible expression of love!
@@emilyrossen4111 It is definitely is a lot of work, time and material to buy as well! I think they both handled it poorly and I understand that the daughter in law would be hurt. Regardless, no one should demand to have something made for them and MIL isn't required to do so.
I can only speak for myself and I would never demand to have something made for me. If it was me, I'd suggest to help make the quilt with her and do most of the work and purchase the material, especially if MIL's hands were hurting due to her aging. It could be a great bonding project! But if she still refused, it showed how she really felt, I'd go low contact at that point if I was that hurt.
The sneeze in the middle of the video and Charlotte shooting herself off into space...hilarious!
The “not a real vagina” one had me in tears laughing because I just last month had to explain to my 73 year old mother that she needs to wipe front to back because she’s had UTIs constantly for years!
Reading all these comments are so scary! There needs to be more education around this in health classes… I think I learned the proper way from a family guy episode weirdly enough.
@@luminchrimes4388 My own daughter educated me about our normal vaginal discharge that turns our panties white is normal. I had no idea!
But you don't get a UTI from your vagina. Uou are right about the wiping, but the urethra is just in front of the vaginal opening. Some guys think we pee out of our clitoris!!!😂
My oldest sister was in her 40's before she found out to wipe front to back after suffering from bladder infections for years. Not sure what planet she grew up on as my other sisters & myself knew this from childhood. I think she blamed our mother, she blamed Mom for everything that went wrong in her life.
I don't remember being actually taught this. It came naturally to me, it just seemed logical. I think I just remembered how my mom did it when she was still wiping me, and it just stuck.
Definitely an opportunity for malicious compliance. Next family dinner, "I'm so so sorry I embarrassed you, Mom. I shouldn't have ever given you a fake key knowing you'd break our trust."
Lol.
These husband’s who defend mommy over their wife always make me feel grateful for what I have.
But why don't the "wives" notice the mommy issues BEFORE marrying them??
@@joywebster2678 Why can't we just ever let a man be his own damn fault? 😂
@@joywebster2678because women are never toxic. Its always the man.
@@thetwistinside2857yepp toxic mothers are fault of a man. Got the logic.😅😅
@@parthsavyasachi9348 huh? Don't know where you grabbed that from.
The partner who took the pictures? Briliant! Plus, even if MIL hates the pictures, they have character. It's a win-win for everyone but MIL
My grandmother made quilts for my sister and I for our "marital beds". I was married three times, and my sister never married. We both got a quilt. So much for the marital beds.
For the quilt story... ESH. Quilts (esp elaborate ones made with love and care) take an awful amount of time, and the way OP went about it was tactless and demanding. MIL is allowed to rest her fingers/hands for as long as she damned well pleases. However, the fact that the MIL excluded OP and her husband because they didn't have kids says volumes about her, bc newsflash: any artist worth their salt can improvise, and if she really considered them 'worthy' of a quilt, then she'd improvise.
The thing is, OP LITERALLY rushed in there demanding a quilt. Remember, here's what happened:
- MIL finished a quilt
- Almost immediately, OP asks the SIL when she'll be getting hers
- The SIL (not the mother) says it isn't happening
- OP comes in demanding a quilt from the MIL, likely rudely (if OP comes across this rude and entitled on the post, imagine how bad she must be in real life)
- MIL gets rightfully angry, and responds in kind
There's every possibility that the MIL was trying to figure out a way to make OP and her husband a quilt, but was having trouble figuring it out, as OP's entire personality comes down to "Doesn't have kids". (I bet she calls people with kids "breeders")
Maybe if OP waited a year or two and asked nicely, the MIL would have figured something out. But OP went in guns blazing and was an entitled AH -- I wouldn't make anything for her either, never mind something as time-consuming and effortful as a quilt.
I feel like the kid thing is a red herring here. It sounds like the DIL might be a jerk who is also child free. MIL might not like her for other perfectly valid reasons. I agree about the improv thing. I’m a quilter and I can find a pattern or material for literally anyone I love but making a quilt for someone I have negative feels for would be impossible. It’s hard to explain but some relationships aren’t “quilt worthy” and if it comes across as favoritism then that should be a sign for DIL to reevaluate her attitude and expectations of her MIL.
Based on OP's behavior, I'm wondering if the MIL has more reasons for not making them a quilt than them just not having kids.
yep ESH, and OP's probably unlikeable, coz MIL would have put the dogs if she really like her, when MIL said her fingers were tired and hurt, it can also just be an excuse so that she doesnt have to make the quilts, and even after sometime, she'll busy herself making quilts for other people. i know how this feels because i do the same excuse when relatives ask for free art (reason i stop posting my arts on facebook)
Honestly, OP just sounds like someone who thought they (her and her husband) would be treated equally as her husband’s siblings instead of excluded from the family because they don’t have kids
My mother was just like the first MIL. She had a key to my Appartement for emergency. One evening I came home from work and she had rearranged all my decorations and even some furniture because “ it looks nicer like that”I immediately took away the key
My MIL had the code to the garage and casually let herself in when hubby and I first got married. He had been a bachelor for so long that she was used to dropping things off and didn’t think twice about things being different once we were married and I was living there. I was so confused when I walked out of the bedroom and saw her standing in the kitchen. Thankfully, my husband backed me up and handled the situation. Things are fine now.
I'd be disappointed about not getting a family quilt, but also, I know how much work they are. They can literally take a year or more depending on the design. My aunt made me and my husband a quilt *AND* an afghan blanket, and we don't have kids; and they're a couple of our most treasured possessions. They really are amazing things - in large part because of how much effort they are. Given her MIL's attitude I'd say ESH, but yeah. Don't presume.
Very true! I make these for friends and family that have just had a baby and even small ones like that can take months!
It sucks not getting a family quilt - but she doesn't meet the qualifications to receive that quilt - like I'm not angry that my father bought a bunch of baby stuff for my step-brother as a gift - cause I don't have kids, thus kid oriented gifts are not something I would expect to receive. i think a better option would be for that poster to have asked her MiL to teach her how to make a quilt - then she'd have gotten a quilt from MiL and learned to do it as well. Bonded with family and gotten what she wanted. I'm still ESH cause it is shitty that the quilts are framed as gifts for a new family but exclude the one family her kid has built because it doesn't fit the parameters she wants.
OP is entitled but not being qualified because you don't have kids is like saying people without children don't use quilts. It sucks that she's leaving them out just because they don't have children. But you still don't get to demand a quilt
Yes, as someone that felt left out many times in my lifetime I was like mhhmmm but than OP said I want one cause I’m a hipster and I like kitschy things 😮 and then having the audacity to rudely ask her MIL about it 😝 girl no. I wonder why her mother in law and her extended family don’t seem to like her too much 😂 on the other hand is the fact that it’s crazy to let people out just because they don’t have children, again I wonder if that’s the only reason
@eh3010 I'm sorry what does mean?
The quilt story: ESH but the MIL sucks the most! Sure she doesn’t deserve to demand but the mother intentionally left out the couple bc she demands grandchildren from the couple.
For the Quilt story, I kind of agree with the OP. She could of course have handled it better, but the MIL has made these beautiful quilts for four of her five children but refuses to make it for the last one because they don't live the way SHE wants them to? That sucks.
OP should've let it go but I agree that Gramma's an asshole for making a family-wide present that purposesly excludes other people for stuff like not having kids.
I agree, she could have handled it better, but to exclude her your youngest is a shitty move on MIL's part.
They're both being kind petty on this issue. One OP has the right to be upset because legit everyone else in the family has a blanket and I for one would be upset if I didn't get something that all of my siblings got. BUT at the same time demanding a quilt be made for her is just the wrong thing to do. The mom is also being petty in that she's made these quilts for ALL of her other children and it's kind of a slap in the face because one of her children doesn't have kids and maybe never will, which is fine, but she's now refusing to make one for the couple because of this, which isn't fair to them.
Maybe she was just waiting to see if they have kids. She said the others have their kids names on them. So I'm assuming because she used a plural she did not make the quilt as soon as the couple got married or had one kid but waited until they had a few kids to start making them.
Yeah, it's kind of a EHS situation
As someone who gets left out of family things a lot, I fully understand why that one person was hurt to be left out of the quilt gifting. Yeah, OP shouldn't demand it, but I still feel bad for OP's husband. His mother has intentionally left him out of something all his siblings got. That must feel really terrible.
THAT PART everyone is like “oh well she shouldn’t have demanded it.” Honestly I don’t think OP really demanded anything other than an explanation about why they weren’t getting a quilt and everyone else did. I feel more for the husband who blatantly sees he’s being excluded because they don’t have kids which could even be because they can’t. MIL sucks big time. SIL spoke on something she shouldn’t have, and DIL was to busy being flustered to really reanalyze how they were going to ask about it.
@@MizTheMuffin yeah. OP mentioned that MIL has been negative about them not having kids before. So I get the feeling this isn’t the first time her and her husband have been treated differently or socially punished for not having kids by MIL or his siblings.
Like, yeah, MIL doesn’t have to make them a quilt, but the reason is obviously because MIL wants to punish them for not having kids which is awful of her
I don't understand how this wasn't the first point.
The MIL is deliberately excluding one of her children. She's the AH, the wife was making it more obvious that it already is.
This!!!!!! My MIL used to leave us out of everything. Family reunions, birthday parties, etc…. I couldn’t care less personally, however it hurt me to see the pain it inflicted on my husband. I don’t know why everyone else fails to see that.
yeah I thought it was weird Charlottes first comments was to negatively accuse her of being entitled. And to be fair, why wouldnt she feel entitled to it? All your siblings got quilts for their families, who wouldnt expect they'd get one it sucks they got left out bc of a lack of kids. Also dogs are fucking adorable and would be really cute to put on a quilt...
Many years ago we made the mistake of giving my MIL a key to the house we bought. Within 3 weeks of moving in, husband and I took an international trip. I also had a 3 hour commute round trip to work daily, and many times I stayed at a relatives house that was closer to my work until my hours could be adjusted to avoid rush hour traffic. We were not unpacked. We were still in the process of painting and such. MIL drove the 45 minutes to our home with her 3 friends to "show off our house while we were gone". When we returned she had the audacity to chastise just me that the house wasn't put together yet and I alone, not her son who lived there too, embarrassed her in front of her friends. Haha we took back that key so fast. That was 17 years ago. My husband has not spoken to his mother in over a year and has completely written her off. It took along time, but he eventually got to the right decision
Dang, she sounds charming. What eventually made your dearly beloved see the light, if not this?
@LizLuvsCupcakes he was tired of being blamed for everything while his sister was the golden child. When we had children and her nastiness started affecting them, he decided the relationship was too toxic to continue. Everytime we saw her we would all leave pissed out. And even when the kids were younger they would see the obvious favoritism their grandma had for the other grandkids (her daughter's kids). We are better off without them.
@@No-sv6mu sounds like it- one less bitch in your life to put up with is never not helpful
@@No-sv6mu Wow I'm sorry your family went true all that, it must be even more heartbreaking for your husband, most people don't understand how difficult it is to see or break away from the abuse because they have been used to it since day one and even tho it hurts you always have hope, his hope lasted longer than we may like but I bet the kids are happier now.
"I'm not making a quilt for a couple of goddamn dogs" made me cackle out loud 🤣😂
Considering the fact the grandmother said her fingers hurt after doing the other quilts, I understand why she wouldn't want to make one just for dogs.
I'd have made the quilt with ONLY the son and the dogs on it, just to snub the DIL. But that's just me being a petty, but fair, b*tch. Leaving one of her own children out of the "meaningful gift" party just cause he didn't provide grandkids is really rude.
@@crazybiogeeki agree.
@@crazybiogeek and demanding someone make a quilt for free is wrong but I guess you think forcing someone to make something for you is fine. you do realize it is obvious the dil has damaged her relationship with her in laws all for a quilt. instead of just asking and leaving it at that, she went on to demand the MIL make the quilt for her proving why the Mil does not like her. It is obvious OP husband is not on her side and knows for a fact she is wrong hence the reason why he wont get in the middle of it,.
@@crazybiogeek the dil literally choose a quilt to be the hill to die on. She choose her entitlement and demanded a quilt instead of keeping a relationship with her in laws. the mere fact the one SIL who always was on OPs side called OP out for being a B*tch should tell you OP is in the wrong. so now you choose, a quilt or a relationship with your in laws. have to choose one what is it.
I had a patient at the hospital once that was 80-90 years old. We were talking about her peri-areas and I mentioned how she had three holes down there and she looked at me like I was crazy. She didn't know that she had 3. She thought she had 2! Back then no one talked about their who-haws. That had to have been in the late 80.s so she must have been born at the turn of the last century. I think she also had kids. So you are never to old to learn something new.
Love the photography story. I totally would have done the same lol. As for the quilted dilemma, I would go and get a lovely hand made quilt made for our bed with our love story and dog children prominently featured and show it off on our bed. Then when when mother in law is over I would ask her to please grab something out of our room. Is that petty 😝😜
I love this 👏🏻
Hearing these MIL stories makes me so thankful that my MIL is amazing lol. She and I get along really well, she never oversteps into mine and my husbands lives, and she’s super kind and thoughtful. My FIL is just awesome too. I got so lucky having them as my in laws. I could never deal with shitty in-laws I would probably say what is on my mind and get myself in trouble a lot lol.
💯% same lol
I listen to these stories all the time and just think how grateful I am that I have amazing in-laws. 🥰 They bought my partner and I a house to rent closer to them so we could get out of a toxic environment, let us pay a cheaper rent, always called or messaged before coming over at any point -even when we moved out of the rental when they eventually sold the place-. If they know partner and I are financially struggling they help out subtly -invite us over for dinner or drop "extra" food or groceries off because they "made too much" or "bought too much"-. Honestly bless them.
Same. I feel sorry for DH as my family is (my niece’s phrasing) totes cray cray.
My grandmother's hobby was embroidery. She would buy quilt blocks that were pre-printed with a design and spend hours upon hours doing all the hand embroidery work. Then she used an antique sewing machine to put them together before paying someone else to finish the assembly (border, batting, back, and edges) then machine quilting them. The embroidery was beautiful and it cost a small fortune having them finished. I don't use mine because I have several pets and I don't want to risk any damage to my grandmother's work of love. I'm just happy to have possession of it and know that she chose the design and all the colors specifically for me (bluebirds of happiness with a pink border and backing). If anyone had tried to demand a quilt from her, she would probably have told them how much they cost to make and offered to sell them one. There were some that she did sell, for hundreds of dollars. No one is ever entitled to a gift like a quilt. They are expensive and time consuming.
Yeah, the entitled DIL would probably not even appreciate a gift like that, and make it a blanket for her dogs or something.
I’m shocked at how many people are thinking it’s about getting something and not about MIL not seeing them as a actual family cause they don’t have kids
My aunt told my little cousin that normal vaginal discharge is a yeast infection. I had to correctly teach my cousin the differences between yeast infections and vaginal discharge. I also gave her a book to help explain her body and puberty to her. To make matters worse, my aunt is an RN
I want to say, “omg! How can she be so ignorant.” Then I remembered my own aunt is an RN and head of nursing at a nursing home and she is so ignorant, I wouldn’t let her change a bandage let alone be in charge of medications. I hope her job is 100% paper pushing
That honestly scares me 🤦🏽♀️
WHAT? NO!!
How is that possible being an RN and so ignorant? I'm a retired Ron that shocks me. My son is an RN and knew proper way girls need to wipe by like 13 or younger and he's male. Geesh
8:11 thats the perfect visual for a sneeze that didn't want to sneeze that finally sneezed
10:00 I rarely disagree with Charlotte, but I donor this one. It’s not about the quilt, it’s about this person showing everyone in the family that she clearly doesn’t like this couple (sister-in-law), or value their childfree family. And her then lying about the reason for not making the quilt. It’s mean behaviour
I’m ChildFree too & this woman isn’t entitled to this woman’s time or quilts that she makes.
Yes the MIL shouldn’t have lied to her but she was probably trying to spare her feelings but she kept pushing so she told her the harsh truth.
DIL is entitled to have her feelings hurt but not to insist on a quilt from her MIL.
Honestly, If I’d heard my MIL saying that crap to my brother/sister-in-law to get out of the picture because « family only », I would have stood out of this and said out loud « let’s get the f out of the frame grandma only wishes for blood relatives not the added pieces ».
I don’t get phrase. 😕
@@FernRoses what they mean is that that would have meant that all the husbands/wifes/grandkids would have gotten out of the frame and grandma would be sitting there with only her actual children
I think her wife should have resolved that with her family. As Charlotte says, she should have refused to be in the photo if her partner was excluded. This deletion of decent photos in the absence of family is - meh. She put the burden of revenge on her wife.
Little details for the first story. The husband never blames his mother and always says to OP that she is overreacting.
OP said in some comments from her reddit post, that he blamed HER for MIL barging in on them being "busy". First time he said she should have locked the bedroom door and second time, he even blamed her because they were "busy" in another room than the bedroom.
Sadly no update if she left him.
honestly, he should be lucky she didn't leave him after he blamed her the first time. i assure you, i'd leave after that.
@@abiean222 same. It's awkward enough but being blamed for that and having your husband say it's not a big deal that she barges in in their home? Such insanity
I know its all in fun but that story about the grandma saying little girls don't have fully formed body parts is terrifying to me and I know for a fact there are plenty of sick people who have believed that and have done horrible things. Scary af
8:10 Bless you ☺️
For the quilt girl: She could have simply told her mother-in-law that she felt excluded from something she saw as a family tradition. She could say that as her mother-in-law was getting older she was afraid that she wouldn't have children in time for her mother-in-law to make the quilt, and that she would be very happy to receive the quilt even if it was incomplete, That she would make the effort of filling in the missing parts later with the children that were to come, or at least that her son would have a fond memoeir to keep of his mother
It really shows that Charlotte's parents treated her and her brother the same, which is great. OP in the quilt story was a bit too direct to be polite, but as someone who has been treated differently and judged by different standards to my brother all my life, that kind of blatant disregard hurts, badly. Is OP entitled to a quilt? No. But OP is right to be upset about it and she shouldn't have to hold her tongue about it.
I’d take the L and write the MIL off. If she doesn’t want to make a quilt (obviously because she doesn’t like the OP) that’s fine. The OP should put the same amount of energy as MIL does on their relationship.
I completely agree!
I feel ya, buddy. As the overlooked older child who watched family members spoil the bejeebus out of my younger siblings and cousins, I'm not entitled to nice gifts but it sure feels bad to not get any consideration. Hell, I took the 18th birthday gift of a jellybean in a "Happy 90th Birthday" card as graciously as I could at the time and then bawled my eyes out in my room that night, realizing that I wasn't even a consideration when it came to family members I'd spent so much time, money and consideration on. It sucks and hurts and I was never able to go burned bridges because I'm too much of a pushover, but from my side of the fence, I'll never see those family members like I used to. It taints all the good times to know that you meant less than nothing to people who meant so much to you.
And it sounds like she was really looking forward to 'being part of the family' and accepted by MIL. It's just sad.
Yeah, like I understand why OP was hurt, but there were other methods to talk with MIL. Like she started with "WHERE IS MY QUILT"
More flies with honey... Seriously, she could have shown some empathy for MIL's sore hands... She COULD have said how much she valued the hard work.
She could have even offered to HELP, have MIL teach her how to quilt, while working on hers.
She could have promised that it would stay in the family as an heirloom... MANY ways she could have worked this, including being a gracious person when being told no.
Instead she acted like an entitled brat.
I kinda believe that this might not be the only time she has shown this kind of attitude, and could be the REAL reason MIL doesn't like her, or want to do that much work for her.
MIL should tell her to "kitch her a$$".
Went through something similar, my ex MIL used her key numerous times and one episode she caught us in the shower ! For spite, I walked out of the bathroom without clothing or towels and gave her full view of my young self ! I went into my bedroom and made my ex walk out naked also because he thought his mom was ok to walk in like that !
"You can just weaponize incompetence."
This is the best life advice I've received all year! 🤣
For those who don't know, making a quilt is HARD. There is a reason that there were/are quilting clubs. Entire GROUPS would get together to make one quilt. It takes *SO* much time and effort. I'm talking anywhere from 30-40 hours worth of labor.
On the AITA post about the quilts, that one got me fired right up! Haha. I make quilts, and have since I as a teenager. 15+ years of making them. Mine are all machine done, but I was apart of a group of women who had a few that hand sew quilts and I was aware that was a skill I could never force myself to possess. Each of my quilts, depending on size, range from $500 to $1,000 of supplies. I have never made one in exchange of money, only gifts and they were personally chosen for the recipient. (ie. fabric, pattern, etc.) All of my quilts are unique to me, meaning none have the same pattern/fabric. I recently made one for my brother that was a Labyrinth pattern and it was fun but challenging and took me 6 months to finish. Since doing it, I have had other's request I make them one (for free of course), because "You already did one, so you already know how to do it." My brother's quilt was specific to him, due to him picking the theme of Optical Illusion, and he chose the fabric himself. The over all finished product was a surprise. Just a side note, none of my quilt recipients asked for a quilt, which made it all the more fun because they weren't expecting it. My brother was the exception because the one I made for him as a teenager was falling apart and not fixable. The new one was a replacement, and many friends and family could not understand how he has two, and they have none. The old one is packed away as a keepsake, and the new one he uses. (By uses, I mean he takes it everywhere, even when he is camping in a hammock.) I see both sides to the post, but I ultimately am siding with the MIL. MIL is a bit of an A because she could have offered to make something else more suited to their "Lifestyle" or OP could have asked for a different style, or something unique for her and hubby, but to outright demand a "family" quilt because the other "families" got one is ridiculous. Slow clap for MIL who put her foot down and won't make any now. I have a no-list in my FAMILY because they threw a toddler tantrum and felt entitled to one. OP sounds like an entitled brat and burned a definite bridge. Would love to hear a MIL point of view update on that one. Seems like there was more to the story that OP purposefully left out.
The quilt story reminded me of my sister-in-law. She is a cross stitcher, and she has a tradition of making these little square ornaments that have the name of family members and then some sort of artwork that represents the individual, giving them to my mom for the family tree. I'm literally the only family member who has not got one because I'm gay, single and childless, and she doesn't think it would be appropriate on a Christmas tree. Only difference is that I truly do not give a shit. haha
I just don't understand why people are like your SIL. I'm sure you don't really care, but it still has to hurt a little bit. I can't believe your mom wouldn't call her out on this behavior. I know I certainly would have if she excluded one of my children.
@@shirleyroache3875 My mom has done, but she also accepts that my SIL is a born again bigot, and she has never liked her. She thinks the most fitting punishment for my brother is that he's married to her. lol
The difference is this isn’t your mom leaving you out. It’s way different when it’s a parent
@@fanfiction4thewin149 A was just recounting a similar story, not a one for one comparitive one. Yeesh.
Also LGBTQ, single, and child-free by choice. ❤
It’s crazy to me how many WOMEN don’t know how the female body works lol 😂 Great video as always! Love your face! Much love & light! ❤🧿
No one teaches this....I had no idea....no wonder I needed wet wipes and multiple
While I would also feel sad about being the only one to not receive a quilt, quilts are insanely labor intensive. Not only is it perfectly reasonable for MIL to take a break after making 4 quilts, why would you want a quilt from someone who doesn't like you? After that behavior, she would probably just be thinking negative thoughts about OP the whole time she was working on it. That's not the kind of energy you want to put into a handmade gift.
0:12 😂 it gets more ridiculous each time 😂😂😂
With the quilt story, the solution was definitely not to demand a quilt from her. But there were ways of suggesting other options.
If I were to say anything, I would at most ask for her to make a couple of quilt squares so I could commission another quilter to finish it.
omg imagine if there was a ✨special✨ 1-hour or something vid of lots of different petty people, then charlotte arranging them in a tier list 😂j would totally love that!!
I loved the last story! Those girls are absolute queens!! I really hope there will be an update! I have to know how MIL will react to the photos. 😆😂
My daughter lives alone and I have a key to her home but I have never used it without her specifically asking me to go do so. Even when she’s expecting me, I knock before opening her door. She’s made it clear that she doesn’t care if I just walk in but I feel like it’s a matter of respecting my adult child’s space.
you and your team make the best freaking videos. All of the little inserts from movies or what not that totally blend in with what you’re saying has me rolling on the floor laughing every single fucking time. I really appreciate what you’re doing, you have such a wonderful personality, and your team seems to match it completely. Much appreciation to the joy that you bring and the truth, and the fact that you are so kind and thoughtful
On the quilt one idk. I’m torn. If all the other family members have one idk why they wouldn’t? Kids or no kids. On the same front, as someone who crochets, I do blankets for family when I have the time. My mom got the first family blanket I made. That was a year ago. My niece is next. Eventually I’ll make everyone one, but since I do them on my own time I get where the MIL is coming from
"My husband didn't think it was a big deal." ABSOLUTELY NOT! That is the WORST. And he asked for her phone? Tried to say she was the one acting childish? She's his Number Two. Emotional abuse and gaslighting, respectively. Divorce! Divorce, I say!
I cross stitch and I can safely say I would REFUSE ON PRINCIPLE to make something if someone DEMANDED I made it for them. Doesn’t matter if I made it for everyone else in that family. No one demands I hand make something for them. PERIOD
My grandmother did a quilt for my son when he was born. I could tell by the stitching that she was getting to old to quilt. I treasure it and passed it on to my son a couple of months ago. I appreciate her time and effort to give such a gift. I didn't ask for it and I know she worked very hard on it. Love labor. I am 60 and my son is 27. My grandmother has passed and I know how important her love for quilting was. Never ask someone for something, only appreciate it when it is given out love on their own time.
Completely disagree with Charlotte on the Quilt story. Sure OP could have said it better, but as someone who doesn't want kids, we get lot's of rude comments from family members all the time just because we don't want kids. So the MIL making a quilt for everyone except her and her husband is just rude. Saying pets aren't family is just messed up too. It's not fair to make something for everyone, but leave one particular person/couple out. Like personally for me, I love giving my friends presents!! It would be like if I gave all my friends a present, but left one person out just because they did or didn't have a kid, something weird like that.
It was also interesting to read the comments and see a ton of people actually do not think OP is the AH, or atleast ESH.
Also, the last post was gold, so petty, I love it! lol
I agree! I felt a bit weird about her asking about getting a quilt, but I completely understand her feeling hurt by the MIL making these incredibly sweet, personalized quilts for literally every other one of her kids and their significant others, but not planning to make one for them. It seems incredibly rude and unkind of the mother-in-law to say that she's never going to make them a quilt, just because they don't have kids and "don't have enough stuff to fill up the space." That's a ridiculous cop out.
I can maybe understand OP seeming kind of entitled if only 1 or 2 of the siblings had gotten a quilt, but it was literally every other sibling except her husband and her, so it's clearly excluding them.
I mean first of all it’s a gift and everyone is entitled to decide who they gift to. Also the quilt has a whole symbolic as something she gets to do with her grandkids clothings or baby blanket and ultimately for them so technically she doesn’t have kids that’s why she’s not getting a quilts. The MIL said she’s not doing a quilt for dogs not that dogs aren’t family and rightfully so. They are family just not kids who are the symbolic of her quilts
@@analea6531 Your opinion isn't going to change my mind lol, so I'm not sure why you bothered to comment.
It's still rude to exclude someone, unless it was done privately away from everyone so that they didn't know.
I'm going to mute this notification, so feel free to argue into the void Karen.
12:14 she’s entitled to think she’s owed a quilt. But these comments stating that they’re meant to be passed down to kids. My mom makes me a quilt every other Xmas and I have no children. You don’t need children just to receive a quilt
Story 1: Hoo boy. I hope she gets far, faaaaaaaar away from husband and his nutty family. 😳
(Also, the sneeze illustration just about killed me, lol! 😂😂😂)
Agreed🎉 awful!!!!
The sneeze was amazing!🤣
Family…awful😅
OMG I LOVE THAT LAST ONE! I’m definitely doing this! I have a certain family member that always excludes me from family photos even though I am the photographer in the family, I buy props and backgrounds for every occasion and she purposely waits till I go to the restroom or an out of the room to make sure I’m not in her pictures. This is fantastic idea!!! 😈
The first one was nta on title alone. Mil DEFINITELY had that coming
These are all pretty insane. The quilt thing though I wanted to share. My maternal great grandma would make quilts for all the babies in the family. When I was about 7/8 she was hospitalized and ended up passing. Before she passed while in the hospital my mom decided to make her one for a change. Only one ever made too. I remember my mom taking a photo of me and my best friend holding it up to send my grandpa before sending the quilt. After she passed my family had gone to collect her belongings and someone had stolen the quilt. They literally stole a home made quilt from a dead woman. My mom was furious. We lived across the country and she had originally requested to get it back after passing because she made it but it was also the last thing she got to do for her beloved grandma. We at least have photos of it and one of gg with it. People really out here having the gall.
Ref the quilt story… My aunt made quilts for both my sisters when they got married. But not for me since I never got ‘married’, despite living with my now husband for the last 20 years. I do feel hurt, because these quilts are just beautiful and special. But I would NEVER ask for one!
I’m completely dumbfounded as to why these MIL’s feel this entitled. As a mother to two sons, they will always be my babies in my ❤but I realize they are grown and can make their own choices and decisions. This maintains the relationship and the respect as well. I guess these MIL’s have failed to realize this. Love you Charlotte ❤
👏🏻 Thank you!
It got nothing to do with them being MILs. They are horrible human beings, and this manifests itself as parents, and in laws. I know a guy, that when his mother realised that his sister and brother in law won't let her control, she faked a suicide attempt on their wedding day. My friend, unfortunately, decided not to take the route his sister took. His life are a mess. It's narcissistic personality trait.
I had a key to my parents place - they lived over 4 hours away from us and we would drive down after work on a Friday night and arrive around 11pm or even later. Since they were elderly, they sometimes would go to bed before we arrived so we would let ourselves in quietly and go to bed. If they were up, we would be met with cups of tea, hot toast or crumpets often cooked over the open fireplace in winter and lots of hugs.
When I first moved out of home, I was working in a research lab where things could get messy (think blood etc) so one of my best mates who lives a few streets away had a key to my place and I to hers just in case either of us needed help, a sudden change of clothes, got sick etc and also since our parents were several hours away. One time I got completely covered - don't ask..- and she was able to dash to my place and grab me some clean clothes while I had a shower and cleaned up at work rather than driving home wrapped in God knows what, making my car smell like a dumpster for weeks after. We are still friends and its been nearly 40 years now since we first met at uni and I would trust her with the keys to my house any day... my ex mother in law.....NEVER!!!!!
Best part of my day! I love these videos! There should totally be a Momma's boy video. It would be hilarious!!! Charlotte is our petty potato QUEEN!!!
Vanessa's editing absolutely killed me today 😂😂 I love you guys 😂❤
She is not the editor she chooses the vids and stories for Charlotte
The Achooooo 🌬💨💨💥🌎
@@GraceMithamo-ls2bqPondering, who’s the editor?
The quilt story... How's she's entitled? Everyone gets a quilt except the couple with no kids but has dogs? Honestly, I would feel hurt and left out of the family dynamic from that moment. OP wanted to know the real reason why she wouldn't be getting a quilt and when she pressed MIL buttons that's when she got the true reason and it's such a stupid reason... Maybe OP doesn't want to have kids. Maybe OP can't have kids and didn't felt like sharing that to the family. Either way, some people consider their dogs as part of the family, as their own kids... I do, with my cats and I love when my MIL says "Your babies" referring to my cats.
After that interaction I would never ever again attend any dinners, parties, celebrations, birthdays, etc... If you don't like me then I don't like you too.
I agree! I felt a bit weird about her asking about getting a quilt, but I completely understand her feeling hurt by the MIL making these incredibly sweet, personalized quilts for literally every other one of her kids and their significant others, but not planning to make one for them. It seems incredibly rude and unkind of the mother-in-law to say that she's never going to make them a quilt, just because they don't have kids and "don't have enough stuff to fill up the space." That's a ridiculous cop out.
I can maybe understand OP seeming kind of entitled if only 1 or 2 of the siblings had gotten a quilt, but it was literally every other sibling except her husband and her, so it's clearly excluding them.
My daughter and I both sew patchwork quilts.
It takes abut 4 hours of day 1 to find and select the fabrics and pattern, 4 hours the second day to do the cutting, four hours a day for about 3 or 4 days to sew the pieces together correctly according to the pattern, 4 hours to assemble the blocks into the quilt top, and about 4 hours to put the quilt top, batting, and backing onto a long-arm quilting machine and quilt the project. It can take anywhere from 3 weeks to (NOT making this up) 30 YEARS to finish a quilt project depending on time, schedule, deadlines, having enough fabric, starting a project, putting it away to work on something else, picking it up again and finishing it months or years later, yeah, quilting IS "the slowest way to make a blanket"!
So when I made my sister a quilt of her favorite bright colors and hand-quilted it and sent it to her for her birthday ---- weeks later I get a report her "significant other" (he-who-is-so-rude-he-shall-not-be-named) not only hated it but wanted to use it as a DOG BLANKET for the dog who HATES MY SISTER and is always biting her behind significant other's back!
I told sister to ship it back to me ASAP.
Daughter's quilts have won major awards at the county fair.
OH HELL NO we ain't making a quilt for no dogs UNLESS you specifically ask for one AND purchase the washing-machine safe fabrics.
On the other hand, every single time I have done a sewing/mending job for anyone, they have never spoken to me again afterward. So I only offer to help someone sew something if I need to....... (heeheeheeheehee)
Mom entered his house to snoop. I'm quite certain of that. That's why she entered when both of you were at work.
Quilt story: OP sucks for feeling entitled to a handmade quilt, however, MIL also sucks for gifting the quilts to everyone in front of OP & her husband. I would have felt some sort of way too, but I wouldn’t have confronted MIL or demanded a quilt.
i hope MIL was planning to do it but hoping that they come around about kids, but now OP defiantly not getting any
I'm in the ESH camp myself for the quilt story. Excluding someone from the "special family gift" just because they don't have kids is really sucky (I mean, what if they *couldn't* have kids?), but honey was way too pushy about it. I'm a fiber artist myself, and the "I want a kitschy cute thing" rather than "I want an incredible family heirloom" attitude is pretty aggrevating. Also, as a physically disabled fiber artist, the whole "little break" thing really pissed me off. Yes, these things are hard work and can cause a lot of pain, which sometimes requires rest and recovery!
@GalinaEv so it's okay for MIL to feel entitled to getting grandchildren but not the DIL to feel entitled to a quilt 😂 Nah both the AH
@tessa98239 im not sure that mil was demanding kids in exchange for quilt tbh. Fil told op that, then she called , mil said she tired. Op said no its because of kids right, RIGHT? if i was mil , eveb if i was planning to do that quilt, i would say yes just f off
I feel like her husband is totally entitled to a quilt! People are so afraid of seeming "entitled" these days... But he was totally entitled to that quilt!! You know why? Because not getting a quilt while all his siblings did basically sends a message his mother doesn't love him as much. Do you not think he is entitled to being as loved by his MOTHER as his siblings??? I think he does. The wife was acting "entitled" not because she feels she deserves a quilt but because her husband deserves it... And she was being a good wife sticking up for him... It's so sad how many people say she's in the wrong because "oh the entitlement", the entitlement is correct. It's like going to a restaurant, they serve you the wrong dish and you demand the right dish, you have the right to be entitled... So did they!!! >:(
My family always exchange emergency keys. In case someone goes to the hospital. We can go in To take care of dogs and get clothes for them. We have never used them to snoop on each other.
I was at my mother in law's house. And we were taking pictures. My wife, her mom, her step dad, and her sister, and my baby were there, and her mom's dog. We took a picture. Then MIL announced, "now I want to take a picture just of the family. And she said, "get out of the picture" to me AND MY WIFE. And insisted I take a picture of MIL, step dad, wife's SISTER, and MY SON (but not either of his parents), and THE DOG! MIL brought the dog into the picture and called the dog "her daughter."
For the quilt one, I think kindness would have went a long way. I think if she talked to the grandmother and she explained how being left out made her feel, the grandmother might have decided to make one after all. Or she may not have, and that's okay too.
It's not okay to treat a couple that doesn't want/ can't have children as lesser than.
@silentsaturn7604 and it's ALSO not okay to think your entitled to something that costs a lot of money, time, and effort for FREE but you forgot to mention that too in your comment 😉
@@silentsaturn7604 the son should have talked to his mother about it instead of the dil demanding her to make one
your turkey gobble sound always makes me laugh
The wiping story does have an update but I guess it got deleted because the account is deleted. The MIL seriously thought the vagina doesn't developed until puberty and after being shown evidence that that is NOT the case, she apologized and was really embarrassed. She claimed that when she was growing up that's what her mother had told her and since she grew up in an era where talking about your body was a huge social no-no, she never learned otherwise.
It's been a while since I've seen this story so my recollection of the update may be a bit off, but I do remember the MIL apologizing and the whole thing was just generational ignorance on anatomy.
Glad the MIL didn't just double down and remain willfully ignorant. I absolutely believe she was told the wrong information.
About the Quilt, I would be hurt beyond belief, if everyone in the family got a quilt and i didn't. I probably wouldn't have asked her about it though. I would leave that up to my husband.
I have a quilt from my Great Grandmother and my Great Aunt.
My grandmother was an amazing quilter. She gave one to every child and grandchild when the got married.
I was in my 30’s, living abroad with my significant other. When I was back visiting, my Grandmother told me she made a quilt for me and my Mom had it at her home. She had also made ones for other grandchildren that were in their 30’s and not married.
My Mom refused to give it to me because I wasn’t married. Grandma stepped in and I now have the quilt.
My Mom’s reasoning was that if I broke up with him that I’d leave the quilt. I laughed so hard. That would be one of the first things I’d pack.
10:53 look, it’s obvious favoritism. MIL made the quilts to EVERYONE else. OP is being slighted. And had the right to be upset. And calling out MIL isn’t an AH thing. BUT demanding it does make OP TAH.
I agree completely. I think this is a clear case of ESH. MIL sucks for showing favoritism for lifestyle choices, and DIL sucks for trying to demand something that requires a huge amount of work and costs a lot to make.