Let Paul Simon Know That You Kidnapped Art Garfunkel And Are Awaiting Instructions On How To Proceed

Let Paul Simon know what’s going on!
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[@dag9el]

Gosh you don't even know how much i needed this. Kidnapping Art Garfunkel was kinda an impulsive decision. There wasn't much time to plan ahead

[@tailsfox45]

When I kidnapped Art Garfunkel I had to plan way ahead, but to each his own

[@dag9el]

ibizan i was actually planning on NOT kidnapping art garfunkel, but the urge just got too strong....

[@BeKazzled77]

Whoever has him: please reprogram Art's mind so that he thinks that you, Paul Simon (or current kidnapper), are his daughter - not me (his actual daughter). This would help me and the Garfunkel family IMMENSELY. We just need someone else to carry the load of caring for him for a while. I tell you this: with age does not come wisdom, but needy insanity. You are now his daughter and will take care of his fan mail, emails, panic attacks, doctor's appointments and his broken hip. You will also cut his nose and ear hair, thanks. You are a life-saver... and life-taker, possibly. Either is fine. Thank you!

[@SpannyShot]

Paul Simon here, I’d like you to call Art Garfunkel “Fart Garfunkel” until he cries.

[@paulsimon4617]

Excellent work fellas! I'll be sending you instructions shortly through one of my associates. Expect a knock upon your door within the coming week.
Your time has come to shine,
Paul

[@wyattblue]

Instructions confused, saved Art Garfunkel

[@marcellkr0ss]

Wow, I've been trying to kidnap Art Garfunkel since I was a kid. You're very lucky. Hope Paul Simon respond. I'm so happy for you.

[@terryl7855]

Make Art Garfunkel write an opera on the problem of single use plastics.

[@silverbeach1557]

Wow. About a week ago, Art Garfunkel rolled into my home through the dog door and demanded I call Paul Simon's secretary Regina to announce this exact same thing.
Although, I refuse to take action as directed by Art Garfunkel, who has been threatening to do endangering skate tricks at the local shopping center and saying he's my ravenous teenage son when the police catch him, because I suspect he's working mostly to get back at Paul Simon for the infamous summer of '83.
What do I do? Art Garfunkel has been finding food in my backyard (he's even been gaining weight: 10 pounds a day) and he smells very sweetly, like honey and clovers, but I am afraid he would convince houseguests he has been kidnapped.

[@zimmy1]

who comes up with these

[@Frexter]

A singing mechanical fish that has gained sentience

[@oklol496]

paul simon

[@dag9el]

clickhole

[@davidcomer8439]

Kaz this made me laugh so fucking much

[@oklol496]

David Comer i only speak the truth

[@dordthehedgehog6948]

paul simon here, i want you to step in a tray of lettuce and force him to eat all of it including the tray

[@cyclcrclicly9840]

number 15

[@roserose9765]

is someone's foot fungus. But as it turns out, that might be what you gæt

[@dead_kennedys7870]

If I had a nickel for every time I needed this.

[@SL-gz9gq]

Thank you for finally creating a video that is relevant to me

[@MrU4theChillWind]

Wait a second. If you have Art Garfunkel and are sitting on his lap. Who the hell is this that I have tied up in my spare bedroom??

[@fossticles1618]

Pail salmon here, tell art Garfunkel he can leave if he can name his favorite single letter variables and constants before glascow is cold

[@chrisbessey358]

Paul Simon here. Please feed Art a seven course meal made up entirely of insects. Thanks!

[@zoperxplex]

"Art who?"
Paul Simon

[@ohmygod419]

this video made me feel like I was having a reverse panic attack lol

[@Itstrashagainsmh]

*I feel bad for Art Garfunkel, this comment section is full of his kidnappers. He must be traumatized.*

[@aureliebredael2625]

Ah! Finally a tutorial that is worth my time!

[@beaubrines]

This shit is to good

[@sarahrichards1788]

Paul Simon here. Please bathe and feed Art Garfunkel. A dog grooming parlour might be able to assist with his poodle hair. I’d like to see him with a pompom tail please.

[@lassidensiwillja5613]

Wonderfull

[@sanitytheorist8221]

blink twice if you're holding Clichole hostage

[@smughatkid9981]

oh

[@daffyphack]

Just know that if you want to meet us person, you can see me and a tied up Art Garfunkel down by the schoolyard.

[@keashindle]

i don't want to read

[@machiel5888]

Wow

[@basedbattledroid3507]

But what if I wanted to kidnap Paul Simon instead?

[@tyro244]

Silly me. I read that as Gar Artfunkel.
:: rolls eyes ::
Please, ignore my previous instructions.

[@levilukeskytrekker]

#FreeArtGarfunkel.

[@exunderscorejai]

Make him do a filp

[@froffnix4710]

Not ok

[@Angel-sd5nc]

We live in a soceity

[@brycegraham7368]

This title is a little commanding, perhaps I should just free Art...

[@thejunecooperative]

They definitely just googled stock footage and made up some bullshit.

[@bruhgamer317]

poggers

[@dylaninpieces2]

Paul Simon cannot be reached for comment.

[@milesanies2378]

What the fuck

[@rempuiafanai7103]

How high were you?!

[@commodoreNZ]

This was too meta for me. ps. calling things meta does not mean you are smart