Gas only $3.50 USD per US gallon?!?!? HOLY F#CK is that dirt cheap!! Here in Vancouver, B.C. we've been paying the equivalent of $5.00 USD per US gallon for Regular for months!
Limerick is the actual form Stephen used. I am a fan have a book with very old ones, 1000 limericks it’s called. Gets parties outta slumps before the substances kick in.
God. You centerists have NO idea how much this is leading to Trump’s 2024 victory. Day after day more news and opinions are coming out with unspeakably dire news regarding how much the Democratic Party are basically tending to their weeds while the garden experiences overgrowth around them. Trump is polled 5 points ahead of the Dems on average, and that’s just from yesterday. He’s going to run again and it’s almost a guarantee that he will win again. The Democrats are useless and beyond senile in their approach to politics and TV shows like this are showing their bias to kicking the ex President while they’re (in terms of their political lifestyle) down. Trump is a massive C word and needs to be gone from politics. Biden can sign an exec order anytime to make those kinds of billionaire psychos illegible to run in any election. Obviously that’s never going to happen. And all the Dem-focussed talk shows (like this one) can do is talk about Trump. He shouldn’t be relevant, and this is helping increase his electability day by day. It’s very stupid to keep focusing on him. Biden May as well throw in the towel now and get it over with. Trump wins 2024, and you’re seeing the reasons why play out in front of you.
@@phriedokra6158 Every poll is saying he’ll kill the Democrats. Absolutely wipe the floor with them. Are you idiots watching so much Hamilton that you’ve lost sight of the polls or some shit like that? ☹️☹️☹️☹️
@@TheFlash-rh2el polls....? Like the ones that told folks not to worry in 2016 ? No one puts stock in polls. Ratings ? Screw that. Always remember that one of the greatest series on TV, Gene Roddenberry's Star Trek was canceled after the first season. And Dances with Wolves was showered in bad reviews when it first came out only to become an enduring hit. My money is on Biden. Even if it got to the point where we are on ration stamps, I would rather have him.
@@matthewbrown1617 To be fair, all I know about him is A: there's a saying about him that B: implies he was rich and C: might work better contemporaneously if it substituted him for Midas.
@@matthewbrown1617 Seems likely. Maybe they meant the private-jet-owning fundamentalist preachers or the Massive wealth being held by the con artists who run the Mormon and Catholic and Episcopalian Churches.
@@cassiedevereaux-smith3890 The Croesus story is full of lessons. One is that when he lost the Lydian Empire to Cyrus the Great, Cyrus asked him how he felt about Cyrus's soldiers looting and burning his capital city. He replied that he was a prisoner who owned nothing; the city was now owned by Cyrus, and the soldiers were actually destroying Cyrus's own city. Cyrus immediately stopped the looting and burning.
"And stragetically located inside Rudy Guilani's head." That pic never fails to show up when you least expect it and I love it. That's what I'm thankful for this year, knowing that Rudy will never be taken seriously ever again.
I love how it took him _utterly embarassing_ himself and *about literally leaking oil* in order for people to stop listening to the completely stupid words coming out of his mouth. They were obviously stupid words all on their own. It's frankly sad what it took.
“… it just may not be the exact size, kind or colour you want” Should have cut to a pic of Melania’a blood-red festive White House trees from a few years ago
Yeah ditto for me. I noticed that. It was that "WHITE LINE FEVER!" line after the "van by the river! " . I swear I though he was gonna do Rick Flair next. Woohoo!!
I guess you hadn't seen his character, _Tuck Buckford,_ which was based on the nutty Alex Jones. He has been doing it since. 2017. Not in this year, though.
@@waryaawariiri1812 Nutty Alex Jones LoL. Why dude? I dare you to give me one reason or even a hundred and I will provide undeniable evidence that Alex Jones is not only correct but also the most logical man alive! Take that dare brother I will open your mind to the truth!
@@johngreenwood1610 …erm, how about “They’re turning the frogs gay.” Or maybe when he said Sandy Hook was a false flag, or inside job of some kind, in order to take your guns away; you know, the thing he just lost a huge defamation lawsuit over, and is having to pay millions of dollars to settle. And those are just two things off the top of my head, that I didn’t even need to think about; if I was so inclined, I could go through dozens- if not hundreds (and who knows, maybe even thousands) of things that this lunatic has said, which are either just completely deranged bullshit, or out-and-out lies. Alex Jones is nothing but a lunatic, and an obvious grifter; so, unless you were just being sarcastic with your comment, when you ludicrously claimed Jones was both “correct”, and “the most logical man alive”, then I have to conclude that you are a complete headcase, too- I don’t like the conclusion, but it’s accurate, if you believe any of Jones’ bullshit conspiracy theories. If you you were just taking the piss, and being sarcastic, then my apologies for missing the joke; but, if do believe in his insane ramblings, I suggest you seek urgent attention from a team of highly trained mental health professionals, immediately, to help you overcome your ridiculous delusions… I wish you good luck with that, and hope you recover your sanity…if you ever actually possessed to begin with. All the best.
Colbert is the first one I've seen to draw the comparison between Alex Jones and Matt Foley, motivational speaker, living in a van down by the river. Brilliant.
@@wgooetrik seth meyer actually enjoys his career and loves his fans hes not as put together as stephen but hes more friendly. Stephen is a great interviewer great host but not as fun. Seth is fun uncle who smokes weed colbert is a kind catholic grandpa
We have had the same artificial Xmas tree for 15 years. It works perfectly well and is good condition, so people buy a new one every year or do they not buy them second hand? With how much they cost now, if I was to need a new one, I sure as hell would be asking people for a deal on one.
Here in the UK we pay nine dollars a gallon for gas. No one is panicking. It’s normal and affordable and encourages economy. A lot of the price is in tax that goes to pay for roads and infrastructure that road users use. US gas prices seem almost criminally cheap. It explains a lot about why America seems to flip the bird at the rest of the world re the environmental crisis there’s no incentive at all to cut back on its use.
Distances in America are quite different from the UK, also Americans are quite addicted to their autos. Public transportation is not widespread except in cities. I wish it were different.
@@marymasters3960 Yes, indeed. I, like most people who drive, am very attached to my car and love to drive, especially in Europe. Higher gas prices at home made me rethink my needs and I now drive a much smaller car with greater mileage economy and fuel efficiency. The government supports environmental protection so, in return for my smaller more efficient, low emissions vehicle I pay less tax and gas is effectively cheaper because I use less of it to go the same distances as before. I miss my big old car but I’d much rather have a cleaner conscience when driving and cash to spend on other things.
The decent thing for him to have done would have been to decline the pardon Orange Julius Caeser granted him. You are not REQUIRED to accept a pardon: United States v. Wilson, 32 U.S. 150 (1833)
@@MonkeyJedi99 Yeah that's right, Trump pardoned Flynn, Manafort, Stone, Kushner (Sr), but not Cohen. He described Cohen as a rat and said cooperating with prosecutors (or flipping as he called it) for a reduced sentence should be illegal. Cohen also talked a lot of shit as a sworn witness at one of the orange guy's 2 Impeachent trials IIRC.
the fact that ONE person who committed a crime directed by and for the benefit of another conspirator has already done his time, but the other "Individual One" remains unindicted, means our justice system is NOT working as it should.
"There once was a man in Nantucket Whose poll numbers really did suck it At least he was not That orange Pol Pot Who ate all his meals from a bucket?" (Stephen Colbert, 2021)
That riff that Jon was doing towards the end, what was that, Mozart, Bach, or Beethoven? I feel like I should know this. In any case, that kind of genius is why the man is leading the Grammy Awards with 11 nominations.
I'm glad that the leaders of domestic terrorist groups were subpoenaed today!!! It's awesome that Roger Stone and Alex Jones were subpoenaed at the beginning of this week!!!
You’re glad? Wait till next year food. Kyle Rittenhouse is the first amendment if they try to retry and convict at the federal level you can kiss the first amendment and your right to self defense goodbye. If they convict infowars there goes the second amendment. But you say domestic terrorist. I’m from Missouri they call it the show me state I say show me one time at any of the protests that he was at or involved with that shows police cars being burned buildings getting vandalized statues getting demolished and federal buildings getting destroyed. I’ll wait........
My BFF and I bought our Christmas tree three years ago from a goodwill the day after Christmas. It was broken and wouldn’t be seasonal for another year, but it was $15 and we were willing to play the long frugal game
We did that in my family home a couple years back, too. Painted one on the glass back-door. Also helped the dog figure out when the door is open and when it's closed
Really need to stop making fun of Biden's poll numbers, unless there's a substantive reason to criticize him. This guy is literally the only thing standing between America and the abyss, so we need to support him.
The abyss is the perhaps both laughable and real threat that Trump, despite being the worst president, will again win with his crazed cult following. Then complaining that Biden isn’t being progressive enough will turn into you complaining that the new dictatorship and book burnings suck.
@Jarred Kiser Like with Obama you have the GOP absolutely refusing to work with the Democrates and him on anything. He has limited options when they dont hold a majority in both house. Then you have Senima and Manchin barely supporting any of the bills but hold an the power they do because of the numbers to get a majority.
Exactly. "progressives" don't realize this and live in fairy tale land where the US government/politics actually move with ease after a year of a new administration and nothing but obstruction by the GOP. Corporations call the shots in this country.
Jarred Kiser One step at a time, honey. Let's work harder to get more progressives into office in the meantime. Even if we have to lie and pretend they're moderates until they get into office. See, that's the problem with liberals and progressives. We aren't good at lying like the opposition.
@Jarred Kiser That is a foolish sentiment. If you tear down Biden, what will spring up to take his place. You think it will be progressives? No, it will be fascists.
Not sure if I'm disgusted or amazed but during the great depression shortages caused people to come up with alternatives which are some of my favorite family recipes. 2021 shortages just cause adults to throw tantrums at retail workers.
He was in a 2001 movie called The Waking Life before he was nationally famous, essentially playing himself. It seems hes been screaming, crazy and incoherent his whole life. Shame...I used to love that movie. Now I can't watch it.
From what I'm seeing in the stores "the shortage" is an online-only phenomenon and only affects shops locally if your kids are overly picky and specific about what they want. If that is what you're experiencing then it's time for you to do some parenting.
"There once was a man in Nantucket whose poll numbers really did suck it At least he is not that orange Pol Pot who ate all his meals from a bucket" Sheer poetry, Stephen. Beautiful.
Oily hair aside... That old guy in the tanker from Waterworld, measuring the depth and praying for death is exactly what I imagined the inside of Rudy's head to be like anyway.
*_"We won with the poorly educated, I love the poorly educated."_* Trump, in November 2016 Trump supporters: _"I dun no wut tat meens but he maked Americka grate agan."_
*Do you want the 🍊🤡 back (**#Trump2024**)?* *Then just ignore my comment.* *Or you wanna destroy the GQP* once & for all? *Then here's a detailed guidance* on how to do that: *If you wanna win elections, you need Progressives, who offer popular policies, like:* - the legalization of Cannabis - a wealth tax - Medicare for all - a raise of the minimum wage to $15 per hour - a green new deal - tuition free colleges/canceling all student loan debts & medical debts *The Democrats tend to win elections, if there's huge voter turnout. Obama was very popular & got (re)elected, bc he ran as a progressive and he promised us fundamental change, while H. Clinton, Al Gore & J. Kerry lost bc. noone was excited about them bc. they stood for nothing!* And Biden only won because Trump was fucking abysmal. The DNC could've nominated an heap of dog shit and said dog shit would've won against Trump. But still, only 43.000 people in 3 states made a difference! Of course, Obama unfortunately turned out to be the biggest fraud in history (bc he was a corrupt, neoliberal do-nothing DINO, who gave us no change whatsoever, & therefore, paved the way for an even bigger fraud in 2016 (the orange menace)). *The Democrats gotta give voters an incentive to vote for them and a* _"I know we suck, but you still need to vote for us, bc our opponents are worse than us."_ (which is basically the case that DINO's like Biden, Clinton make for themselves, each time there's an election) & an _"orange man bad"_ *doesn't inspire anyone!* This very attitude is exactly why the Dems lost a thousand Senate seats during Obamas presidency! 100 mill. Americans didn't vote in 2016! Those people were fed up with being forced again to choose between the lesser of two evils! So they stood home & we got Trump! If someone had been on the Ballot that isn't a full-blown sociopath that couldn't care less about you (Trump, Clinton), my entire family & all my friends would've been there to vote for him/her! One reason, why *Trump, Obama &* progressives like *Bernie are/were that appealing,* is, *because they oppose(d) the establishment.* And many people despise the establishment. *Of course Trump, just like Obama, were a giant frauds, for Trump & Obama ARE THE ESTABLISHMENT! And both governed just like their respective predecessors (Bush Jr. & B. Clinton)!* But unlike Obama and Trump, *Progressives* (like Bernie Sanders, AOC, Ilhan Omar, Charles Booker, Rashida Tlaib, Ayanna Pressley, Shahid Buttar, Ro Khanna, Nina Turner, Jamaal Bowman, Cori Bush, etc.) *aren't frauds! They are THE ONLY PEOPLE who actually care for you & who are actually fighting for you, whereas all the corrupt, neoliberal do-nothing Republikkkans* (Trump, #MoscowMitch, Graham, #CancunCruz, etc.) *& the corrupt, neoliberal do-nothing DINO's* (the Clintons, Biden, Obama, Pelosi, Klobuchar, Mayor #WallstreetPete, #CopmalaHarris, Manchin, etc.) *are EXCLUSIVELY fighting for the wealthy that **-bribed-** "donated" to them!* If Bernie had been on the Ballot in 2016 instead of the corrupt, neoliberal, sociopathic do-nothing DINO, (again) 100 mill. Americans wouldn't've stayed home (including all my family members). And my friends & I wouldn't have wasted our votes for the green party candidate. *If Bernie was POTUS right now, the GQP would be dead, bc Bernie would've canceled all student loan debts* (& maybe even medical debts) *that millions of Americans* (including me, my family & friends) *are drowning in!* Bernie would've ended the endless wars once and for all; legalized cannabis nationwide, etc. And as a result, *Bernie would be the most popular president in decades!* *In the midterms in 2022,* there would be a bloodbath, where *the Republikkkans would be slaughtered, bc millions of people, who* (just like us) *turned their backs on politics,* would've regained confidence in politics & *would show up to vote for the Democrats!* *The GQP would face its extinction once & for all! A Party that is that corrupt, racist, homophobic, misogynistic & xenophobic like the modern Republikkkan Party solely exists bc their only opposition Party (the Democratic Party) is just as corrupt & useless!* *See? Politics isn't rocket science! If you serve the people who elected you & improve their lives, they'll love you and reelect you!* Trump was the result of decades of neglect of the American people, for our major parties stopped serving the American people decades ago & EXCLUSIVELY does/did the bidding of the wealthy! *Under Progressives the Democratic Party would finally become a useful Party again, that actually fights for the American people* (i. e. it'd be the end of neglect of the American people)! *A President Sanders would also be able to use the carrot & stick approach* against obstructing Republikkkans! Bernie could offer Republikkkan scumbags like Sinema, Manchin special projects for their respective states, & if they'd still obstruct Bernie's agenda (which happens to be the American People's Agenda), he'd use the stick. Bernie would have an approval rating of 80-90, whereas the approval rating of Republikkkan scumbags like Manchin/Sinema is in their low 30s, which means he could destroy them when they're up for reelection by supporting someone to their left! *This is how you play politics! And* this is *how the social Democrat Franklin D. Roosevelt passed his agenda! He was that popular that he won 4 elections (in one election FDR won 46 of 48 states)!* *The Republikkkans literally had to come up with term limits in order to prevent the Democrats from permanently winning elections!* *But the DINO Joe Biden can't pressure his fellow Republikkkans because he's not popular & he won't pressure his fellow Republikkkans because he agrees with them!* *Therefore, if you wanna defeat Republikkkan scumbags (Trump, McConnell, Graham, Cruz, etc.), stop voting for Republikkkans/DINO's (Obama, Biden, Pelosi, the Clintons, Klobuchar, Mayor **#WallstreetPete**, **#CopmalaHarris**, etc.) in the first place!* Besides, *The Republikkkans/DINO's are NOT your friends! They DON'T serve you! They DON'T care for you! They DON'T represent you! They all favor their **-bribes-** "donations" over your lives! And only their wealthy donors matter to them, NOT you!* *While preventing the 🍊 menace from getting (re)elected might have been your top priority, the DINO's* couldn't've cared less about Trump! No, their *top priority was to stop Bernie Sanders, bc a decent, non-corrupt man is obviously much more dangerous than a fucking fascist!* And while the DINO's did nothing to prevent their fellow Republikkkans from appointing another Supreme Court Judge last year or to stop Trump, they moved heaven & earth to defeat Bernie (they rigged two primaries against his favor)! And couple weeks ago, there's been an election in Ohio, where another progressive (Nina Turner) ran against another do-nothing DINO (Shontel Brown)! The DINO's (including Hillary Clinton) worked with their fellow Republikkkans (including Fox 'News') to stop N. Turner! Again, *defeating Progressives* (NOT their fascist fellow Republikkkans) *is the DINO's top priority!* Progressives are currently fighting for paid sick leave & paid parental leave (that are standard in every other developed country), lowering prices for prescription drugs, medicare benefits for hearing, vision & dental, etc.! We have none of these things, bc. all Republikkkans are corrupt & bc. the Democratic Party has been taken over by Republikkkans, like Obama (who passed the Republikkkan healthcare plan -Obamacare- Romneycare), the Clintons, Nancy Pelosi & Joe Biden who both literally said: _"we need a strong Republikkkan Party"_ ! Thus, *the DINO's are just as much your enemy as are their fellow Republikkkans! For the DINO's agenda is* in accordance with their fellow Republikkkan's agenda, to wit, *fuck over (non wealthy) Americans, prevent progress & to preserve the status quo!* *Only progressives will make the Democratic Party a useful Party again.* But *the current Democratic Party proves their uselessness every day* all over again. *Despite having the complete control over the government, they get nothing whatsoever done, bc. corrupt, neoliberal do-nothing Republikkkans/DINO's are in charge of the Democratic Party. And the wealthy that **-bribed-** "donated" to said DINO's, don't allow the DINO's to pass any meaningful legislation that would help the American people!* *Progressives are the only people that acutally get things done & improve people's lives & therefore, guarantee huge voter turnout* (bc. they aren't beholden to wealthy donors)! My friends, family members & I donated hundreds of dollars/volunteered hundreds of hours for Bernie, Charles Booker, etc. *My cousin waited nearly 9 hours so he could vote for Bernie & Charles Booker, during a fucking pandemic, that might kill him* and his mother (he's an asthmatic and she's currently fighting breast cancer). *For Bernie and/or Charles Booker, he/we would've waited 9 days if necessary. For DINO's like Biden, Manchin, Clinton, etc., he/we wouldn't wait 9 minutes.* *The DINO's have been in politics for decades and they did fucking nothing for us... They represent the very Status Quo that enabled the Trump presidency in the first place!* *So do the right thing, & join us on the left and help us to replace all the DINO's with progressives.* Because, *Unless we create an economy that works for all Americans and not just a few, the orange menace will be back in 2024.* *Or do you want a rerun of the kakistocracy that was the Trump presidency? Then keep voting for DINO's like the "very electable" Hillary Clinton, the "very electable" Al Gore & the "very electable" John Kerry,* who stood for nothing, other than corruption, Neoliberalism & "Orange man bad", *& your wish shall be granted.*
@@dextermorgan4686 , The Democrats lost a "thousand Senate seats"? Wow, I didn't know we had that many. No wonder nothing gets done in Washington. Dexter, I see you've found a new way to sadistically kill your victims; these endless comments. (I actually agree with many of your points, but you don't need to strap your readers to a table and bludgeon them with a heavy object, like a.......well, like a Dexter.).
Well that wasn't exactly the army of the ivory league out there on Jan 6. And we don't want to destroy the GOP... We just want to destroy Chump and his band of inablers. If anyone does in the GOP it will Chump himself.
The gas prices wont' go down immediately.. but they always go UP immediately... The fact is this: OPEC is not releasing oil, because they lost so much during the pandemic when the price went negative.. Our oil companies cut back on labor, and still have not fully ramped up.. and there is a driver shortage for all industries.. The price may not go down.. it may stay the same..
April 2020 -$41 a barrel right when the country was quarantined. That is why Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick said the elderly are willing to die to save the economy. Aka oil industry.
@@8arrows yeah.. Dan and all the others were putting those words in the mouths, or rather "sacrificing" the elderly for our comforts.. The prices though went down.. to a negative.. because everywhere in the world citizens and workers were quarantined..
@@tonyde6423 Not THE, but decent.. 13th following Arab nations and Russia. But that doesn't include the percent of average income spent as part of one's budget. And if gas goes up, it takes away from other categories such as food, medicines, medical bills, rent, mortgage, which is some of the highest in the world..
Shortages aren't why petroleum prices are up; they're up because the industry are holding back and raising prices for no reason other than raising profits.
Why is oil price increase when people work from home? The demand and supply pricing do not add up. Cannot help but think the Saudi need money to keep up their lavish lifestyle
Its not the Saudi's fault! It's OUR fault. You'd think after all of these decades the US could reduce it's addiction to driving and reliance on gasoline. We are the problem. No one else.
That "Life of Pablo" nonsequitor killed me! I love them - such unique and specific creativity. The Britney one was top shelf - but the Stevie Nicks one was worthy of the woman herself!
Gas only $3.50 USD per US gallon?!?!? HOLY F#CK is that dirt cheap!! Here in Vancouver, B.C. we've been paying the equivalent of $5.00 USD per US gallon for Regular for months!
Hats off for whomever came up with "Orange Pol Pot."
Great reference!
I like Dingus Con
Cleanest Nantucket poem I've ever heard
Limerick is the actual form Stephen used. I am a fan have a book with very old ones, 1000 limericks it’s called. Gets parties outta slumps before the substances kick in.
"In a van down by the river" A wonderful tribute to Chris Farley. We miss you, Chris.
Just came here to say that - great use of his catchphrase 😂
Yeah... pity he was such a good Chippendale.
AMEN!
Chris Farley was my first Comedian crush.
RIP Chris
It's so great how Stephen will never not verbally dropkick the shit out of Tr**p.
God. You centerists have NO idea how much this is leading to Trump’s 2024 victory. Day after day more news and opinions are coming out with unspeakably dire news regarding how much the Democratic Party are basically tending to their weeds while the garden experiences overgrowth around them.
Trump is polled 5 points ahead of the Dems on average, and that’s just from yesterday. He’s going to run again and it’s almost a guarantee that he will win again. The Democrats are useless and beyond senile in their approach to politics and TV shows like this are showing their bias to kicking the ex President while they’re (in terms of their political lifestyle) down. Trump is a massive C word and needs to be gone from politics. Biden can sign an exec order anytime to make those kinds of billionaire psychos illegible to run in any election. Obviously that’s never going to happen. And all the Dem-focussed talk shows (like this one) can do is talk about Trump. He shouldn’t be relevant, and this is helping increase his electability day by day. It’s very stupid to keep focusing on him.
Biden May as well throw in the towel now and get it over with. Trump wins 2024, and you’re seeing the reasons why play out in front of you.
Great? It's cringe; he looks like a crazy ex girlfriend who can't stop talking about the man who dumped her.
@@TheFlash-rh2el he will be ELIMINATED in the competition...lol
@@phriedokra6158 Every poll is saying he’ll kill the Democrats. Absolutely wipe the floor with them. Are you idiots watching so much Hamilton that you’ve lost sight of the polls or some shit like that? ☹️☹️☹️☹️
@@TheFlash-rh2el polls....? Like the ones that told folks not to worry in 2016 ? No one puts stock in polls.
Ratings ? Screw that. Always remember that one of the greatest series on TV, Gene Roddenberry's Star Trek was canceled after the first season. And Dances with Wolves was showered in bad reviews when it first came out only to become an enduring hit. My money is on Biden. Even if it got to the point where we are on ration stamps, I would rather have him.
Rodger Stone has the most extremely uncomfortably range of clothing style, from Judge Doom to Southern Chicken lawyer
He reminds me of a Batman villain
_"Former Trump lawyer and man watching them open the Ark of the Covenant, Rudy Giuliani."_
“Richer than Jesus…”…?
No offence, but that’s not really a high bar for material wealth.
Nor for any measure of wealth that's remotely based on reality.
@@matthewbrown1617 To be fair, all I know about him is A: there's a saying about him that B: implies he was rich and C: might work better contemporaneously if it substituted him for Midas.
I thought as much when I heard it. But then again... his perception of wealth sounds entirely different.
@@matthewbrown1617 Seems likely. Maybe they meant the private-jet-owning fundamentalist preachers or the Massive wealth being held by the con artists who run the Mormon and Catholic and Episcopalian Churches.
@@cassiedevereaux-smith3890 The Croesus story is full of lessons. One is that when he lost the Lydian Empire to Cyrus the Great, Cyrus asked him how he felt about Cyrus's soldiers looting and burning his capital city. He replied that he was a prisoner who owned nothing; the city was now owned by Cyrus, and the soldiers were actually destroying Cyrus's own city. Cyrus immediately stopped the looting and burning.
"And stragetically located inside Rudy Guilani's head."
That pic never fails to show up when you least expect it and I love it. That's what I'm thankful for this year, knowing that Rudy will never be taken seriously ever again.
He’s America’s Mayor! 😉
@@jimmybuffet4970 America's Night-mayor.
I love how it took him _utterly embarassing_ himself and *about literally leaking oil* in order for people to stop listening to the completely stupid words coming out of his mouth.
They were obviously stupid words all on their own. It's frankly sad what it took.
Ah, how far America’s Mayor has fallen…
Okay, now *I* NEED THAT BUCKET, NOT TO CARRY MY FOOD IN, BUT RATHER PREVIOUSLY EATEN FOOD, COULD EVERYONE PLEASE STOP TALKING SBOUT "THAT GUY'S HEAD"?
“… it just may not be the exact size, kind or colour you want”
Should have cut to a pic of Melania’a blood-red festive White House trees from a few years ago
Before working for The Artist Formerly Known as Kanye, you have to weigh the Pros and Cons before deciding Ye or Nay.
Best joke of the day!
Nice👊🏿
Ahh, I see what you did there, and I deem it "certified fresh", welcome to the USDA!
The Pros and 'Kan's, eh?
*Bravo!* 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Social influencer: " Please help me, I have no marketable skills ", was hilarious.
Eliana Kwartler (one of Colbert’s writers)
Nice regards to Chris Farley!!!! May he RIP.
That Alex Jones impression was absolutely spot on!!! "IF YOUR TOILET WANTS A FIGHT...YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT'S GOT ONE!!" LOLOLOLOL Im dead
I love the nod to Chris Farley, RIP. Farley would've been funny doing an impression of Alex Jones.
@@ukhawaja me too. RIP. loved that guy.
This show is consistently the funniest one on TV. Colbert is a genius
Bro, I’d like to apologize on behalf of that other reply.
@@ubductedsheep5624 report that crap! Spammers suck…
He writes it all!
I know right... It's like CNN & SNL all in one... truly grateful for the wholesome entertainment Hollywood has given me
there's no other writers on this show? wow
We all know that Stephen's Eric Trump impressions are always on point but my GOD that Alex Jones impression was chef's kiss perfection!
Yeah ditto for me. I noticed that. It was that "WHITE LINE FEVER!" line after the "van by the river! " . I swear I though he was gonna do Rick Flair next. Woohoo!!
I guess you hadn't seen his character, _Tuck Buckford,_ which was based on the nutty Alex Jones. He has been doing it since. 2017. Not in this year, though.
@@waryaawariiri1812
Nutty Alex Jones LoL.
Why dude?
I dare you to give me one reason or even a hundred and I will provide undeniable evidence that Alex Jones is not only correct but also the most logical man alive!
Take that dare brother I will open your mind to the truth!
He sounded like Hulk Hogan & Macho Man Randy Savage wrapped up into one brother!
@@johngreenwood1610
…erm, how about “They’re turning the frogs gay.”
Or maybe when he said Sandy Hook was a false flag, or inside job of some kind, in order to take your guns away; you know, the thing he just lost a huge defamation lawsuit over, and is having to pay millions of dollars to settle.
And those are just two things off the top of my head, that I didn’t even need to think about; if I was so inclined, I could go through dozens- if not hundreds (and who knows, maybe even thousands) of things that this lunatic has said, which are either just completely deranged bullshit, or out-and-out lies.
Alex Jones is nothing but a lunatic, and an obvious grifter; so, unless you were just being sarcastic with your comment, when you ludicrously claimed Jones was both “correct”, and “the most logical man alive”, then I have to conclude that you are a complete headcase, too- I don’t like the conclusion, but it’s accurate, if you believe any of Jones’ bullshit conspiracy theories.
If you you were just taking the piss, and being sarcastic, then my apologies for missing the joke; but, if do believe in his insane ramblings, I suggest you seek urgent attention from a team of highly trained mental health professionals, immediately, to help you overcome your ridiculous delusions…
I wish you good luck with that, and hope you recover your sanity…if you ever actually possessed to begin with.
All the best.
So, Michael Cohen is playing 'fixer' for Kanye...
There's a lot to fix!
He just got his ankle bracelet off the other day. I guess he didn't learn his lesson.
Colbert is the first one I've seen to draw the comparison between Alex Jones and Matt Foley, motivational speaker, living in a van down by the river. Brilliant.
Thank you for your service, Stephen!!
Yep.....he plays his role perfect as a piece of $hit
Stephen Colbert you sir are a gem.
The Matt Foley "down by the river" moment was wonderful, Stephen. RIP Chris Farley
“Indoor fire hazard” got to admit I didn’t see that one coming
Colbert and his writers are geniuses.
They used the same joke as seth meyer last week literally the exact same. Pretty annoyed by that
@@forgotten1s seth is better!
@@wgooetrik i agree
@@forgotten1s Better delivery too
@@wgooetrik seth meyer actually enjoys his career and loves his fans hes not as put together as stephen but hes more friendly. Stephen is a great interviewer great host but not as fun. Seth is fun uncle who smokes weed colbert is a kind catholic grandpa
Stephen you and your staff are geniuses I love watching your limericks Are Awesome
Stephen’s Eric Trump always makes me 😂😂😂
I die inside when he does Eric trump!!! Lmao
The teeth are hilarious.
"...always makes me"....What? Makes you a triplet of emojis?
I dont think anyone gives Colbert credit for his impersonations. He does a really good job.
I like that he always takes the time to put away his imaginary props. A true gentleman.
@@TheTokenBilly *ding*
"I dont think anyone gives Colbert credit" other than the Emmy and other awards that he's won?
Eric Trump is my favorite
And even when he doesn’t, he commits 😜🤣
I love that cameraman's laugh! It lifted my spirits during the at-home shows. So infectious!!
Infectious? You ought to see if there's a vaccine for that.
Paula Bird - thanks for telling me it's the cameraman. I had no idea.
I think showrunner/executive producer Chris Licht was the laugher we usually heard.
I appreciated it too.
Best limerick I've heard since the one about molly mcgee in jaws
We have had the same artificial Xmas tree for 15 years. It works perfectly well and is good condition, so people buy a new one every year or do they not buy them second hand? With how much they cost now, if I was to need a new one, I sure as hell would be asking people for a deal on one.
One random thing about Stephen that I really admire is his commitment to object work. This man really is a Second City alum.
Could not agree more!
Colbert hasn't been funny for over a decade. I hope your boss is as understanding
I love his runs across the camera.
second city alum? also what does all of the lights mean? I assume he means caucasians
@@ndanieltx what do you mean?
Here in the UK we pay nine dollars a gallon for gas. No one is panicking. It’s normal and affordable and encourages economy. A lot of the price is in tax that goes to pay for roads and infrastructure that road users use. US gas prices seem almost criminally cheap. It explains a lot about why America seems to flip the bird at the rest of the world re the environmental crisis there’s no incentive at all to cut back on its use.
Distances in America are quite different from the UK, also Americans are quite addicted to their autos. Public transportation is not widespread except in cities. I wish it were different.
@@marymasters3960 Yes, indeed. I, like most people who drive, am very attached to my car and love to drive, especially in Europe. Higher gas prices at home made me rethink my needs and I now drive a much smaller car with greater mileage economy and fuel efficiency. The government supports environmental protection so, in return for my smaller more efficient, low emissions vehicle I pay less tax and gas is effectively cheaper because I use less of it to go the same distances as before. I miss my big old car but I’d much rather have a cleaner conscience when driving and cash to spend on other things.
@@Balletified nice one :-)
Chris Farley would have done a good Alex Jones
Man I miss Chris Farley
❤️❤️❤️
Hell yeah!
Bill hicks would of been better!
@@jeovanneramos5066 Bill Hicks sure does look like Alex Jones lol
I laughed from start to finish and the end sequence was a stroke of genius. Stephen, your Eric Trump impression is the best one that ever existed😂
the limerick! 👍😆👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
The fact that Cohen did his time and helped investigators gives him a measure of respect none of the other Trump cronies can even come close to.
So true! I think he deserves a second chance.
The decent thing for him to have done would have been to decline the pardon Orange Julius Caeser granted him.
You are not REQUIRED to accept a pardon: United States v. Wilson, 32 U.S. 150 (1833)
@@MonkeyJedi99 but he didn't receive a pardon, did he? From what I heard he just recently finished his prison sentence. He did his time.
@@WestOfEarth Did I confuse him with someone else? Maybe General (retired) Flynn?
@@MonkeyJedi99 Yeah that's right, Trump pardoned Flynn, Manafort, Stone, Kushner (Sr), but not Cohen. He described Cohen as a rat and said cooperating with prosecutors (or flipping as he called it) for a reduced sentence should be illegal. Cohen also talked a lot of shit as a sworn witness at one of the orange guy's 2 Impeachent trials IIRC.
Happy early thanksgiving. I’m thankful Stephen is here for us with his amazing Comedy
What about this? ua-cam.com/video/sSkFyNVtNh8/v-deo.html
the fact that ONE person who committed a crime directed by and for the benefit of another conspirator has already done his time, but the other "Individual One" remains unindicted, means our justice system is NOT working as it should.
"There once was a man in Nantucket
Whose poll numbers really did suck it
At least he was not
That orange Pol Pot
Who ate all his meals from a bucket?" (Stephen Colbert, 2021)
Genius🤣👍
What's the question mark for?
@@ericminchI wondered that too, looking back at it. Don't know why I added it, but I figured why edit.
That riff that Jon was doing towards the end, what was that, Mozart, Bach, or Beethoven? I feel like I should know this. In any case, that kind of genius is why the man is leading the Grammy Awards with 11 nominations.
"Meatball with freezer burn" is pretty funny. Adding "pork" completes the joke. Smart writing. Carlin would be proud.
Jones is the "Angry testicle"
@@grahamcairns4874 yeah, I could see that 😏
Carlin was sound bites. Mark Twain buries him. But READING takes effort.
The clip they showed of Jones immediately put the images of Mussolini doing a rally speech in the late 30's.
Carlin would never be proud of an actor regurgitating his writers bad jokes. How foolish
Michael Cohen says, "If I'm going down, I'm Taking Everyone else with Me!!!" 🤣🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲
Lol way to funny. Nantucket joke was great 😂😂😂
I'm glad that the leaders of domestic terrorist groups were subpoenaed today!!! It's awesome that Roger Stone and Alex Jones were subpoenaed at the beginning of this week!!!
I hope stone lies again so he can go right back to jail where he belongs
A Thanksgiving gift to one and all. The gift that keeps on giving.
Bring on the Civil war!
@@NewsYourViews -- "Morons vs. Reality". I'm popping the popcorn now. 😁👍
You’re glad?
Wait till next year food.
Kyle Rittenhouse is the first amendment if they try to retry and convict at the federal level you can kiss the first amendment and your right to self defense goodbye.
If they convict infowars there goes the second amendment.
But you say domestic terrorist.
I’m from Missouri they call it the show me state I say show me one time at any of the protests that he was at or involved with that shows police cars being burned buildings getting vandalized statues getting demolished and federal buildings getting destroyed.
I’ll wait........
Always nice to have a good LAUGH to end the night after a very hard day 👍
My BFF and I bought our Christmas tree three years ago from a goodwill the day after Christmas. It was broken and wouldn’t be seasonal for another year, but it was $15 and we were willing to play the long frugal game
My Niece and Nephew drew a christmas tree. That's enough for me.
Merry Christmas to you and your kin 😍
Drawn on paper? Haha
This is actually really sweet, a great idea. Thanks for sharing this!
We did that in my family home a couple years back, too.
Painted one on the glass back-door. Also helped the dog figure out when the door is open and when it's closed
Truly A D.I.Y. Colored With Love
Your limerick is pure gold SC!
Congrats on the Grammy nod, Jon!!!
Really need to stop making fun of Biden's poll numbers, unless there's a substantive reason to criticize him. This guy is literally the only thing standing between America and the abyss, so we need to support him.
The abyss is the perhaps both laughable and real threat that Trump, despite being the worst president, will again win with his crazed cult following. Then complaining that Biden isn’t being progressive enough will turn into you complaining that the new dictatorship and book burnings suck.
@Jarred Kiser Like with Obama you have the GOP absolutely refusing to work with the Democrates and him on anything. He has limited options when they dont hold a majority in both house. Then you have Senima and Manchin barely supporting any of the bills but hold an the power they do because of the numbers to get a majority.
Exactly. "progressives" don't realize this and live in fairy tale land where the US government/politics actually move with ease after a year of a new administration and nothing but obstruction by the GOP. Corporations call the shots in this country.
Jarred Kiser One step at a time, honey. Let's work harder to get more progressives into office in the meantime. Even if we have to lie and pretend they're moderates until they get into office. See, that's the problem with liberals and progressives. We aren't good at lying like the opposition.
@Jarred Kiser That is a foolish sentiment. If you tear down Biden, what will spring up to take his place. You think it will be progressives? No, it will be fascists.
Stephen is awesome. He never fails to make me laugh.
Lowered expectations. ua-cam.com/video/sSkFyNVtNh8/v-deo.html
That Alex Jones impression was gold
What a fun as heck limerick! lol
Not sure if I'm disgusted or amazed but during the great depression shortages caused people to come up with alternatives which are some of my favorite family recipes. 2021 shortages just cause adults to throw tantrums at retail workers.
“In the van by the river.”
🍊🐔🪣 Joke was "EPIC" 🤣
Where can I get my Fauci on the couchey?
You think 3.50$ / gallon is high? In Canada, we haven't seen prices that low in decades. It's roughly 5.75$ a gallon up here right now.
Alex Jones is in hot water for a lot of things.
There's a frog joke in there somewhere...
@@Itcouldbebunnies Does it turn them gay?
@@223Drone all of them
Not friggen hot enough! Not behind bars still!🤔
Channeling John Lithgow in that Nantucket poem ❤️
Colbert is the only thing that keeps me sane....that and weed
preach brother !!
The poem alone is worth a thumbs up 👍
Roger Stone and Alex Jones look like they were rejected Dick Tracy villains “Ziphead and Frady Scat”.
The next night Seth made a similar joke, welcome to the Ideaspace.
Super thankful for you this Thanksgiving, Stephen and LSSC crew! (and you too, Evie!)
Great limerick!
The Nantucket limerick was gold!
Alex Jones has the most frazzled vocal chords I have ever heard
He was in a 2001 movie called The Waking Life before he was nationally famous, essentially playing himself.
It seems hes been screaming, crazy and incoherent his whole life.
Shame...I used to love that movie. Now I can't watch it.
I felt Stephen had shades of Hulk Hogan there too.
Drugs....
You would too if you were screaming at the top of your lungs every single day since 1992…
The Eric impression here on the last night of the year with work tomorrow, thank you Stephen!
I love his Eric Trump! 😆 omg funny!
😂👌 It heals my revolt by every daddy's boy in the world 🤭
From what I'm seeing in the stores "the shortage" is an online-only phenomenon and only affects shops locally if your kids are overly picky and specific about what they want. If that is what you're experiencing then it's time for you to do some parenting.
Come on, man. A hillbilly Oil reference has to include the words “Texas Tea” (from The Ballad of Jed Clampett).
I'm disappointed they couldn't show a pic of Buddy Ebsen.
"Please help me, I have no marketable skills!" Girl, same!
Album bit was gold. Thanks for the laughs. Happy Thanksgiving America.
Brilliantly written limerick 🤣🤣👏👏
Ye and Michael Cohen.. What an odd pairing. 🤔🤔
"There once was a man in Nantucket
whose poll numbers really did suck it
At least he is not
that orange Pol Pot
who ate all his meals from a bucket"
Sheer poetry, Stephen. Beautiful.
🍊🐔🪣 Joke was "EPIC" 🤣
Had to Google Pol Pot. What a savage comparison!
Would have to lead the Kmer Burnt Sienna
But is Biden still building the wall to mexico? wtf
Filthy, swine-ish imagery!! Love it!!
Slow clap for Fauci on the Couchi.
I had to look it up, but wasn't that Jimmy Kimmel's joke?
@@ColinaEhv I thought so!
The band sounds great great great! Love the classical interlude. Respect!!
Oily hair aside... That old guy in the tanker from Waterworld, measuring the depth and praying for death is exactly what I imagined the inside of Rudy's head to be like anyway.
Got to have" The man from Nantucket" printed on a T-shirt!
"...down by the river!." 😂🤣😂 R.I.P. Chris Farley
*_"We won with the poorly educated, I love the poorly educated."_*
Trump, in November 2016
Trump supporters: _"I dun no wut tat meens but he maked Americka grate agan."_
*Do you want the 🍊🤡 back (**#Trump2024**)?*
*Then just ignore my comment.*
*Or you wanna destroy the GQP* once & for all?
*Then here's a detailed guidance* on how to do that:
*If you wanna win elections, you need Progressives, who offer popular policies, like:*
- the legalization of Cannabis
- a wealth tax
- Medicare for all
- a raise of the minimum wage to $15 per hour
- a green new deal
- tuition free colleges/canceling all student loan debts & medical debts
*The Democrats tend to win elections, if there's huge voter turnout. Obama was very popular & got (re)elected, bc he ran as a progressive and he promised us fundamental change, while H. Clinton, Al Gore & J. Kerry lost bc. noone was excited about them bc. they stood for nothing!*
And Biden only won because Trump was fucking abysmal. The DNC could've nominated an heap of dog shit and said dog shit would've won against Trump. But still, only 43.000 people in 3 states made a difference!
Of course, Obama unfortunately turned out to be the biggest fraud in history (bc he was a corrupt, neoliberal do-nothing DINO, who gave us no change whatsoever, & therefore, paved the way for an even bigger fraud in 2016 (the orange menace)).
*The Democrats gotta give voters an incentive to vote for them and a* _"I know we suck, but you still need to vote for us, bc our opponents are worse than us."_ (which is basically the case that DINO's like Biden, Clinton make for themselves, each time there's an election) & an _"orange man bad"_ *doesn't inspire anyone!*
This very attitude is exactly why the Dems lost a thousand Senate seats during Obamas presidency!
100 mill. Americans didn't vote in 2016! Those people were fed up with being forced again to choose between the lesser of two evils! So they stood home & we got Trump!
If someone had been on the Ballot that isn't a full-blown sociopath that couldn't care less about you (Trump, Clinton), my entire family & all my friends would've been there to vote for him/her!
One reason, why *Trump, Obama &* progressives like *Bernie are/were that appealing,* is, *because they oppose(d) the establishment.* And many people despise the establishment. *Of course Trump, just like Obama, were a giant frauds, for Trump & Obama ARE THE ESTABLISHMENT! And both governed just like their respective predecessors (Bush Jr. & B. Clinton)!*
But unlike Obama and Trump, *Progressives* (like Bernie Sanders, AOC, Ilhan Omar, Charles Booker, Rashida Tlaib, Ayanna Pressley, Shahid Buttar, Ro Khanna, Nina Turner, Jamaal Bowman, Cori Bush, etc.) *aren't frauds! They are THE ONLY PEOPLE who actually care for you & who are actually fighting for you, whereas all the corrupt, neoliberal do-nothing Republikkkans* (Trump, #MoscowMitch, Graham, #CancunCruz, etc.) *& the corrupt, neoliberal do-nothing DINO's* (the Clintons, Biden, Obama, Pelosi, Klobuchar, Mayor #WallstreetPete, #CopmalaHarris, Manchin, etc.) *are EXCLUSIVELY fighting for the wealthy that **-bribed-** "donated" to them!*
If Bernie had been on the Ballot in 2016 instead of the corrupt, neoliberal, sociopathic do-nothing DINO, (again) 100 mill. Americans wouldn't've stayed home (including all my family members). And my friends & I wouldn't have wasted our votes for the green party candidate.
*If Bernie was POTUS right now, the GQP would be dead, bc Bernie would've canceled all student loan debts* (& maybe even medical debts) *that millions of Americans* (including me, my family & friends) *are drowning in!*
Bernie would've ended the endless wars once and for all; legalized cannabis nationwide, etc.
And as a result, *Bernie would be the most popular president in decades!*
*In the midterms in 2022,* there would be a bloodbath, where *the Republikkkans would be slaughtered, bc millions of people, who* (just like us) *turned their backs on politics,* would've regained confidence in politics & *would show up to vote for the Democrats!*
*The GQP would face its extinction once & for all! A Party that is that corrupt, racist, homophobic, misogynistic & xenophobic like the modern Republikkkan Party solely exists bc their only opposition Party (the Democratic Party) is just as corrupt & useless!*
*See? Politics isn't rocket science! If you serve the people who elected you & improve their lives, they'll love you and reelect you!*
Trump was the result of decades of neglect of the American people, for our major parties stopped serving the American people decades ago & EXCLUSIVELY does/did the bidding of the wealthy!
*Under Progressives the Democratic Party would finally become a useful Party again, that actually fights for the American people* (i. e. it'd be the end of neglect of the American people)!
*A President Sanders would also be able to use the carrot & stick approach* against obstructing Republikkkans!
Bernie could offer Republikkkan scumbags like Sinema, Manchin special projects for their respective states, & if they'd still obstruct Bernie's agenda (which happens to be the American People's Agenda), he'd use the stick.
Bernie would have an approval rating of 80-90, whereas the approval rating of Republikkkan scumbags like Manchin/Sinema is in their low 30s, which means he could destroy them when they're up for reelection by supporting someone to their left!
*This is how you play politics! And* this is *how the social Democrat Franklin D. Roosevelt passed his agenda! He was that popular that he won 4 elections (in one election FDR won 46 of 48 states)!*
*The Republikkkans literally had to come up with term limits in order to prevent the Democrats from permanently winning elections!*
*But the DINO Joe Biden can't pressure his fellow Republikkkans because he's not popular & he won't pressure his fellow Republikkkans because he agrees with them!*
*Therefore, if you wanna defeat Republikkkan scumbags (Trump, McConnell, Graham, Cruz, etc.), stop voting for Republikkkans/DINO's (Obama, Biden, Pelosi, the Clintons, Klobuchar, Mayor **#WallstreetPete**, **#CopmalaHarris**, etc.) in the first place!*
Besides, *The Republikkkans/DINO's are NOT your friends! They DON'T serve you! They DON'T care for you! They DON'T represent you! They all favor their **-bribes-** "donations" over your lives! And only their wealthy donors matter to them, NOT you!*
*While preventing the 🍊 menace from getting (re)elected might have been your top priority, the DINO's* couldn't've cared less about Trump! No, their *top priority was to stop Bernie Sanders, bc a decent, non-corrupt man is obviously much more dangerous than a fucking fascist!*
And while the DINO's did nothing to prevent their fellow Republikkkans from appointing another Supreme Court Judge last year or to stop Trump, they moved heaven & earth to defeat Bernie (they rigged two primaries against his favor)!
And couple weeks ago, there's been an election in Ohio, where another progressive (Nina Turner) ran against another do-nothing DINO (Shontel Brown)! The DINO's (including Hillary Clinton) worked with their fellow Republikkkans (including Fox 'News') to stop N. Turner!
Again, *defeating Progressives* (NOT their fascist fellow Republikkkans) *is the DINO's top priority!*
Progressives are currently fighting for paid sick leave & paid parental leave (that are standard in every other developed country), lowering prices for prescription drugs, medicare benefits for hearing, vision & dental, etc.!
We have none of these things, bc. all Republikkkans are corrupt & bc. the Democratic Party has been taken over by Republikkkans, like Obama (who passed the Republikkkan healthcare plan -Obamacare- Romneycare), the Clintons, Nancy Pelosi & Joe Biden who both literally said: _"we need a strong Republikkkan Party"_ !
Thus, *the DINO's are just as much your enemy as are their fellow Republikkkans! For the DINO's agenda is* in accordance with their fellow Republikkkan's agenda, to wit, *fuck over (non wealthy) Americans, prevent progress & to preserve the status quo!*
*Only progressives will make the Democratic Party a useful Party again.*
But *the current Democratic Party proves their uselessness every day* all over again.
*Despite having the complete control over the government, they get nothing whatsoever done, bc. corrupt, neoliberal do-nothing Republikkkans/DINO's are in charge of the Democratic Party. And the wealthy that **-bribed-** "donated" to said DINO's, don't allow the DINO's to pass any meaningful legislation that would help the American people!*
*Progressives are the only people that acutally get things done & improve people's lives & therefore, guarantee huge voter turnout* (bc. they aren't beholden to wealthy donors)!
My friends, family members & I donated hundreds of dollars/volunteered hundreds of hours for Bernie, Charles Booker, etc. *My cousin waited nearly 9 hours so he could vote for Bernie & Charles Booker, during a fucking pandemic, that might kill him* and his mother (he's an asthmatic and she's currently fighting breast cancer). *For Bernie and/or Charles Booker, he/we would've waited 9 days if necessary. For DINO's like Biden, Manchin, Clinton, etc., he/we wouldn't wait 9 minutes.*
*The DINO's have been in politics for decades and they did fucking nothing for us... They represent the very Status Quo that enabled the Trump presidency in the first place!*
*So do the right thing, & join us on the left and help us to replace all the DINO's with progressives.* Because, *Unless we create an economy that works for all Americans and not just a few, the orange menace will be back in 2024.*
*Or do you want a rerun of the kakistocracy that was the Trump presidency? Then keep voting for DINO's like the "very electable" Hillary Clinton, the "very electable" Al Gore & the "very electable" John Kerry,* who stood for nothing, other than corruption, Neoliberalism & "Orange man bad", *& your wish shall be granted.*
Dexter, you make a good point, but why did your series have to end on such a sucky note??
@@dextermorgan4686 , The Democrats lost a "thousand Senate seats"? Wow, I didn't know we had that many. No wonder nothing gets done in Washington.
Dexter, I see you've found a new way to sadistically kill your victims; these endless comments. (I actually agree with many of your points, but you don't need to strap your readers to a table and bludgeon them with a heavy object, like a.......well, like a Dexter.).
Well that wasn't exactly the army of the ivory league out there on Jan 6.
And we don't want to destroy the GOP...
We just want to destroy Chump and his band of inablers. If anyone does in the GOP it will Chump himself.
we all seen Hunter Biden laptop 😂 Pray for Nathalie Biden #Metoo
“Won’t somebody please think of the influencers!”
I'm a new Steven fan and gotta say amazing
Welcome 🙏
This was one of Stephen's best! The limerick, Alex Jones, Eric... So many jewels of comedy
THE VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER REFERENCE MADE ME SO HAPPY
This monologue earned my thumbs up for that limerick alone.
Donnie involved Eric with something? He must be so happy!
It's 1:38AM I should be sleeping but I had to watch Stephen Colbert make my night great love love Stephen, John his band and Stephen staff ❤ 🇨🇦
From Ontario? I'm watching from here in 'Berta. :)
AWESOME limerick!
The opener is why Colbert is a legend!
The gas prices wont' go down immediately.. but they always go UP immediately... The fact is this: OPEC is not releasing oil, because they lost so much during the pandemic when the price went negative.. Our oil companies cut back on labor, and still have not fully ramped up.. and there is a driver shortage for all industries.. The price may not go down.. it may stay the same..
April 2020 -$41 a barrel right when the country was quarantined. That is why Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick said the elderly are willing to die to save the economy. Aka oil industry.
@@8arrows yeah.. Dan and all the others were putting those words in the mouths, or rather "sacrificing" the elderly for our comforts.. The prices though went down.. to a negative.. because everywhere in the world citizens and workers were quarantined..
@@8arrows Dan Patrick belongs in a jail cell.
USA still has the cheapest fuel price in the world stay safe cheers
@@tonyde6423 Not THE, but decent.. 13th following Arab nations and Russia. But that doesn't include the percent of average income spent as part of one's budget. And if gas goes up, it takes away from other categories such as food, medicines, medical bills, rent, mortgage, which is some of the highest in the world..
First the Nantucket limerick, then Alex Jones. Good stuff!
🤣🤣🤣Rudy Giuliani🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Shortages aren't why petroleum prices are up; they're up because the industry are holding back and raising prices for no reason other than raising profits.
Why is oil price increase when people work from home? The demand and supply pricing do not add up. Cannot help but think the Saudi need money to keep up their lavish lifestyle
Not so many work from home anymore
Its not the Saudi's fault! It's OUR fault. You'd think after all of these decades the US could reduce it's addiction to driving and reliance on gasoline. We are the problem. No one else.
Stephen's Alex Jones impression sounds like Macho Man Randy Savage.
"Please, help me! I have no marketable skills!" - that's just priceless
“I have no marketable skills!” YES, THANK YOU
Stephen Colbert and his removable lip are the perfect combination for the Eric Trump impersonation 😬
Cohen just can't stay away from the Qrazies. He hasn't changed.
Stephen should do more music artist parodies using the names of their albums, the one with Britney Spears was awesome.
That "Life of Pablo" nonsequitor killed me! I love them - such unique and specific creativity. The Britney one was top shelf - but the Stevie Nicks one was worthy of the woman herself!