I wish I watched this 6 months ago! I've been sleeping well for months, but this sunset anxiety has lingered for a very long time. It became mostly just an annoyance, and the brain is very persistent and VERY pursuasive, it'd say "what if you don't sleep tonight!" and I'd think "Yikes what if my brain is right and I don't sleep?? It's happened many times before, I should listen!" It took hundreds of days of having this same thought and then sleeping well, to the point it became ridiculously funny that my brain was still bothering me with this worry, that it finally faded (and it did fade!!) Thanks Daniel
You know what they say, better late than never 😊 so glad you found it an so glad I faded!
Місяць тому+5
Thank you Daniel. Going thru this now and slowly starting to learn how to meet this anxiety and “sit with it”. Definitely easier said than done but I believe over time this really is the key to recovery. I find that even after a decent night of rest, im still feeling the fear and anxiety the next day as I keep thinking about what could potentially come at night (i know i have to get over this by being ok with being awake. Again, easier said than done, and is a process that cant be rushed.🙏🏼
I had to leave a comment here to thank you. I suddenly couldn't sleep one night, which led to me not sleeping AT ALL the next night, which led to me feeling drunk and half-dead the next day. The anxiety around sleep (which I'd never had before) was so shattering. Knowing my issue was mental and not physical, I looked up what to do. When I read about CBT-I (sleep deprivation...journaling...get up if you're not sleeping....blah blah blah) my brain told me, "that WILL NOT work". But I tried it for a night. It led to me crying on the floor because I wasn't allowed in bed per what I'd read about CBT-I, and no sleep at all. (I realize I didn't attempt a true CBT-I program under the guidance of a physician.) So I listened to my intuition, which I should have done the first time around, and continued searching on Reddit. Someone name dropped you and I watched 2 videos (Natto and another one); everything you said made so much sense, immediately. Maybe adding MORE rules and MORE strictures around sleep helps some people, but I'm so glad I didn't fall into that trap for more than 24 hours. I knew instinctively that when I was sleeping well I wasn't "controlling" myself or sleep; so why would I think I could suddenly learn to control it using CBTI? I really appreciated your approach of identifying the anxiety and naming the fear. I did worry about the "chicken and the egg" issue...how do I get rid of anxiety about sleep when I can't sleep and (at least for me) the effects of deprivation are so severe? But it turns out naming the anxiety as anxiety, and seeing you reassure me that, "Your brain is NOT broken. You have not lost your ability to sleep," was enough to kick start the process. I had sunset anxiety that day, but as I got into bed, I told myself there wasn't anything to be scared of and took my magnesium and half an allergy pill to help the sleep come. I was gentle with myself and counted down from 100, multiple breaths between each number. I only remember getting to number 81. The next day, I had the same sunset anxiety. But I knew it was baseless, so instead of huddling in a corner, I watched TV (in bed!) up until it was time to sleep. When the waves of anxiety came, I gently tapped my shoulders, took no pills, and slept 6+ hours. Instead of suffering for weeks or months and going through trial and error, now I have a toolkit and a vocabulary to deal with this anxiety thanks to you. I suffered immensely for 4 days, but I know FOR CERTAIN if I'd tried some of the other things I read (cbti, etc) I'd only have pathologized this in myself. Tonight I'll almost certainly get some sunset anxiety, and toss and turn a bit. But I know I can let go, my brain is misguided and not broken, and I have not lost my ability to sleep. Thank you for giving us this toolkit and amazing vocabulary! I'm sure I'll be back to to your videos to remind myself to stay sane about sleep in the future.
Wow, thanks so much for sharing all these insights here 🙏 I’m so so glad you found your way and you’re seeing how helpful it is to have a framework. One that I think can help way beyond sleep by the way. Yes, do stay in touch 😊!
Місяць тому+3
Thank you Daniel. Going thru this now and slowly starting to learn how to meet this anxiety and “sit with it”. Definitely easier said than done but I believe over time this really is the key to recovery. I find that even after a decent night of rest, im still feeling the fear and anxiety the next day as I keep thinking about what’s could potentially come at night (i know i have to get over this by being ok with being awake. Again, easier said than done, and is a process that cant be rushed.🙏🏼
Found your channel when searching for help with my girlfriends long time sleeping problems, she has made unbelivable progress in a very short time and seeing this strategy work for her made the whole acceptance thing that I’ve found interesting for a while click for me and I’ve managed to pretty much completely get rid of my social anxiety and general anxiety by just giving up the struggle, I can’t thank you enough Daniel for both of our sakes!
Hi Daniel , firstly thanks for taking your time and explaining us what’s happening . I have sunset anxiety, last week I had a few days off work , and just enjoyed everyday and didn’t even care , and slept every night for like 7-8 hours . Amazing . Now a new week , have to go to work , struggle everyday to fall asleep, but thanks to you I know what’s happening , and why I cannot sleep , that’s right . Thinking about sleep , thinking that I need do rest so I can be ok at work tomorrow , thinking I need to sleep so I won’t be exhausted . That’s what’s keeping me awake , I’m also full awareness mode and hear my neighbours footsteps which is driving me insane and making me mad . Last night I went to bed , turned around for like 2-3 hours until I falled asleep until 6 in the morning . But the thing is , I woke up fully awake , like I didn’t even sleep , even though I felt that way , I know that I slept and i woke up in full awareness , know this because thanks to you . Also got one more hour of sleep after waking up ( because I remember dreaming) My biggest dilemma is , I know that if I’m laying in bed even for 2-3 hours I would eventually get some sleep , even if it’s for 1 hour . But sometimes the tought that’s coming into my mind is , after 20 mins of laying in bed you need to get up and do something . So basically I’m sometimes fighting a struggle between getting up and doing something or just laying there and knowing that somehow I will pass out or fall asleep . What’s your take on this ? All the best , Daniel .
You always bring so much peace to me!!! Thank you so much for your videos, God has put you here to really help us people out who suffer with this, thank you!
As always, a really helpful educational video, thank you Daniel. I was recently listening to a podcast from Guy Meadows, during which he talked about his brain sending habitual/repetitive messages/signals and how he refers to this as, 'the circus is in town'. I think clients also referred to their thought processes 'head of drama' (which is one of my personal favourites) and the Death star. I came up with 'ministry of sound' and 'the mothership'. I think there is a place for lightness and humour, however in my darkest days with insomnia, this wouldn't have sat comfortably, particularly given the level of despair and hopelessness I was feeling. I dont know what your thoughts on a more lighthearted approach, particularly given the negative impact insomnia can and does have
I love the advice offered here which is : we think our struggle is unique and no one has experienced it before (but it's not the case a majority of times) Like before I found this channel I thought i was doomed and the first person to go through all of this (although of course i knew Insomnia is universal but i guess the subjectivity of the experience and it's unpleasantness made me believe that it was truly unique in my case. My strange symptoms which now I understand came from anxiety and how i was always hyper vigilant because of deeply rooted anxiety and thought something was very wrong with me) 2. Effortlessness : i love this one. I can understand it by telling myself that sleep and bed time isn't akin to waiting in an exam and anxiously awaiting for the question paper to be given out and until you solve every single question and do it perfectly (that's me 😅) finish it on time and recheck it a thousand times the anxiety won't subside. There's no need to develop a tunnel vision here and let the mind do its job with minimal effort. Trying to make the bed time experience pleasant helps. Plus with the intention of winding down not sleeping because sleep will come eventually and now I'd rather have some sleep than no sleep at all 😅. Also not all relaxation techniques work for me like : Progressive Muscle relaxation as all of a sudden I'm hyper aware and feel like i should do something's else like get up now or drink more water cz i can feel my throat) 😂
i've always had sunset anxiety unrelated to insomnia. I used to get very anxious and sad around 5pm, when the "work day" is over and everyone is going home, but then when it's night time I feel much better. it still happens just not as often. i always wondered what that was.
I can relate to this, it’s almost like pre sunset anxiety. For me, I think it’s an idea that I should be doing something, achieving, getting something done. But once it’s night, the idea becomes “okay, now the day is over and it’s fine to not work or achieve”, which leads to peace of mind.
Hi Daniel, I am a bit confused! I totally understand that what we resist persists and when I’m laying in bed with the heart palpitations and hyperarousal, the best course of action is to try and allow it to be there and sit with the discomfort. However, after what feels like hours of feeling that and not seeing improvement, is that when I am supposed to get up and try to befriend wakefulness? I guess I’m confused on isn’t me getting up and reading a book, etc just me trying to escape the emotions and running away from laying there and trying to allow them to be? Basically, Is befriending wakefulness just me trying to turn off the anxiety and just making the problem continue? Any help would be SOOO appreciated!
I think once they have symptoms, it’s like asking if 5 week old baby can feel sleepy… impossible to know but my guess is that their universe is so different that the question is sort of not making sense
This is sounding a little like sundown syndrome, where people with dementia or Alzheimer’s get agitated and restless in the evening and have trouble sleeping. I wonder if it’s a version of sunset anxiety?
Hi Daniel, first off I can’t thank you enough for all of your work that you do!! I appreciate it more than I can say!! I have a question that I really need help with, if you have the time to answer!! I recently had a baby, and the only way I could get myself to sleep in between night feedings was to pray. Of course I know there’s nothing wrong with praying, but I know that I was doing it just to make myself fall asleep. But the thing is, that it was working! My brain races so much at night that it gave me something to focus on and kind of hone in all of the rampant thoughts . However, now I am worried that I will not be able to sleep without doing this every time. I know nothing can produce sleep, but this sort of has been for me because it creates a sense of calm that I otherwise cannot get. So now I’m stuck on what to do, if I don’t pray, though there’s no way I can fall asleep because my mind never shuts off!! But I also realize that this is now maybe just a sleep effort and I may need to take a break. I just don’t know how to fall asleep without doing it and it’s hard to stop something that works right now ! Please, please please help❤️
Anytime, so glad it’s been helpful 😊 We know praying doesn’t make us sleep, but we can think “oh good, now I’ve prayed and I don’t need to do anything else” which leads to not trying to sleep - whereby sleep happens. It’s the same way medication, sleeping on couch, supplements, gadgets, rituals etc etc “work”. Once we see this, it becomes irrelevant what we do, and then we can just pray because we feel like it, or not. We are in a low stakes environment where everything gets easier, including sleep 😊
Do you have any videos on stopping the racing thoughts?? Those are what keep me awake.. No matter how much I try to just let them be, it’ll be 3 hours and they will still be going!! Praying seems to be the only thing that stops them but I don’t want to continue a ritual😭
And when I don’t pray my mind races but when I do it calms and I can sleep. But isn’t this a sleep effort now?! I can’t sleep unless I do it, but it does work!
@mh-mo4bj hi, we have several including episode 339… it’s about seeing what we are doing to try to control the thoughts, and when we no longer do that things get easier, rooting for you
Hi, yes I think sleeping in is something that happens by itself when we don’t think of it as something that some “can” and some “can’t”, like a skill! So yes, it’s about hyperarousal, which fades when we no longer try to achieve sleep or thing something is wrong with us 🙂
does anyone get weird symptoms when your mind qnd body is severely sleepy? esp when you've been fighting tiredness all day and masking with anti anxiety pills. and come 7pm your lips are trembling and your mind is foggy and youre sayknf wrong words body feels weird etc... ??
I need this one too. I’m doing better but in between good sleeps there are rough nights including all nighters. I am dealing with them better but usually if the sun starts rising I feel down.
If you resist! it will persist!
Yes that’s the one!!
What you resist persists
Right, that’s how I usually hear it!
I wish I watched this 6 months ago! I've been sleeping well for months, but this sunset anxiety has lingered for a very long time. It became mostly just an annoyance, and the brain is very persistent and VERY pursuasive, it'd say "what if you don't sleep tonight!" and I'd think "Yikes what if my brain is right and I don't sleep?? It's happened many times before, I should listen!" It took hundreds of days of having this same thought and then sleeping well, to the point it became ridiculously funny that my brain was still bothering me with this worry, that it finally faded (and it did fade!!)
Thanks Daniel
You know what they say, better late than never 😊 so glad you found it an so glad I faded!
Thank you Daniel. Going thru this now and slowly starting to learn how to meet this anxiety and “sit with it”. Definitely easier said than done but I believe over time this really is the key to recovery. I find that even after a decent night of rest, im still feeling the fear and anxiety the next day as I keep thinking about what could potentially come at night (i know i have to get over this by being ok with being awake. Again, easier said than done, and is a process that cant be rushed.🙏🏼
I had to leave a comment here to thank you. I suddenly couldn't sleep one night, which led to me not sleeping AT ALL the next night, which led to me feeling drunk and half-dead the next day. The anxiety around sleep (which I'd never had before) was so shattering. Knowing my issue was mental and not physical, I looked up what to do. When I read about CBT-I (sleep deprivation...journaling...get up if you're not sleeping....blah blah blah) my brain told me, "that WILL NOT work". But I tried it for a night. It led to me crying on the floor because I wasn't allowed in bed per what I'd read about CBT-I, and no sleep at all. (I realize I didn't attempt a true CBT-I program under the guidance of a physician.)
So I listened to my intuition, which I should have done the first time around, and continued searching on Reddit. Someone name dropped you and I watched 2 videos (Natto and another one); everything you said made so much sense, immediately. Maybe adding MORE rules and MORE strictures around sleep helps some people, but I'm so glad I didn't fall into that trap for more than 24 hours. I knew instinctively that when I was sleeping well I wasn't "controlling" myself or sleep; so why would I think I could suddenly learn to control it using CBTI? I really appreciated your approach of identifying the anxiety and naming the fear. I did worry about the "chicken and the egg" issue...how do I get rid of anxiety about sleep when I can't sleep and (at least for me) the effects of deprivation are so severe? But it turns out naming the anxiety as anxiety, and seeing you reassure me that, "Your brain is NOT broken. You have not lost your ability to sleep," was enough to kick start the process.
I had sunset anxiety that day, but as I got into bed, I told myself there wasn't anything to be scared of and took my magnesium and half an allergy pill to help the sleep come. I was gentle with myself and counted down from 100, multiple breaths between each number. I only remember getting to number 81. The next day, I had the same sunset anxiety. But I knew it was baseless, so instead of huddling in a corner, I watched TV (in bed!) up until it was time to sleep. When the waves of anxiety came, I gently tapped my shoulders, took no pills, and slept 6+ hours.
Instead of suffering for weeks or months and going through trial and error, now I have a toolkit and a vocabulary to deal with this anxiety thanks to you. I suffered immensely for 4 days, but I know FOR CERTAIN if I'd tried some of the other things I read (cbti, etc) I'd only have pathologized this in myself. Tonight I'll almost certainly get some sunset anxiety, and toss and turn a bit. But I know I can let go, my brain is misguided and not broken, and I have not lost my ability to sleep. Thank you for giving us this toolkit and amazing vocabulary! I'm sure I'll be back to to your videos to remind myself to stay sane about sleep in the future.
Wow, thanks so much for sharing all these insights here 🙏 I’m so so glad you found your way and you’re seeing how helpful it is to have a framework. One that I think can help way beyond sleep by the way. Yes, do stay in touch 😊!
Thank you Daniel. Going thru this now and slowly starting to learn how to meet this anxiety and “sit with it”. Definitely easier said than done but I believe over time this really is the key to recovery. I find that even after a decent night of rest, im still feeling the fear and anxiety the next day as I keep thinking about what’s could potentially come at night (i know i have to get over this by being ok with being awake. Again, easier said than done, and is a process that cant be rushed.🙏🏼
Anytime, and you said it all so well here. This is the path, you’ll find yourself where you want to be no doubt. Rooting for you 😊
Found your channel when searching for help with my girlfriends long time sleeping problems, she has made unbelivable progress in a very short time and seeing this strategy work for her made the whole acceptance thing that I’ve found interesting for a while click for me and I’ve managed to pretty much completely get rid of my social anxiety and general anxiety by just giving up the struggle, I can’t thank you enough Daniel for both of our sakes!
Wow this was so wonderful to read 😊!! Thanks so much for sharing this, made my day 🙏!
Hi Daniel , firstly thanks for taking your time and explaining us what’s happening . I have sunset anxiety, last week I had a few days off work , and just enjoyed everyday and didn’t even care , and slept every night for like 7-8 hours . Amazing . Now a new week , have to go to work , struggle everyday to fall asleep, but thanks to you I know what’s happening , and why I cannot sleep , that’s right . Thinking about sleep , thinking that I need do rest so I can be ok at work tomorrow , thinking I need to sleep so I won’t be exhausted . That’s what’s keeping me awake , I’m also full awareness mode and hear my neighbours footsteps which is driving me insane and making me mad . Last night I went to bed , turned around for like 2-3 hours until I falled asleep until 6 in the morning . But the thing is , I woke up fully awake , like I didn’t even sleep , even though I felt that way , I know that I slept and i woke up in full awareness , know this because thanks to you . Also got one more hour of sleep after waking up ( because I remember dreaming)
My biggest dilemma is , I know that if I’m laying in bed even for 2-3 hours I would eventually get some sleep , even if it’s for 1 hour . But sometimes the tought that’s coming into my mind is , after 20 mins of laying in bed you need to get up and do something . So basically I’m sometimes fighting a struggle between getting up and doing something or just laying there and knowing that somehow I will pass out or fall asleep . What’s your take on this ?
All the best , Daniel .
There is no rule to get up after 20 minutes. This just causes more monitoring and anxiety. You can get up if you want or you can just rest.
You always bring so much peace to me!!! Thank you so much for your videos, God has put you here to really help us people out who suffer with this, thank you!
Thanks you so much 😊🙏
As always, a really helpful educational video, thank you Daniel.
I was recently listening to a podcast from Guy Meadows, during which he talked about his brain sending habitual/repetitive messages/signals and how he refers to this as, 'the circus is in town'.
I think clients also referred to their thought processes 'head of drama' (which is one of my personal favourites) and the Death star.
I came up with 'ministry of sound' and 'the mothership'.
I think there is a place for lightness and humour, however in my darkest days with insomnia, this wouldn't have sat comfortably, particularly given the level of despair and hopelessness I was feeling.
I dont know what your thoughts on a more lighthearted approach, particularly given the negative impact insomnia can and does have
Thanks! I believe this is very helpful as things can feel so heavy in our space, thanks for sharing 😊
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 thank you ❤️
I love the advice offered here which is : we think our struggle is unique and no one has experienced it before (but it's not the case a majority of times) Like before I found this channel I thought i was doomed and the first person to go through all of this (although of course i knew Insomnia is universal but i guess the subjectivity of the experience and it's unpleasantness made me believe that it was truly unique in my case. My strange symptoms which now I understand came from anxiety and how i was always hyper vigilant because of deeply rooted anxiety and thought something was very wrong with me)
2. Effortlessness : i love this one. I can understand it by telling myself that sleep and bed time isn't akin to waiting in an exam and anxiously awaiting for the question paper to be given out and until you solve every single question and do it perfectly (that's me 😅) finish it on time and recheck it a thousand times the anxiety won't subside. There's no need to develop a tunnel vision here and let the mind do its job with minimal effort. Trying to make the bed time experience pleasant helps. Plus with the intention of winding down not sleeping because sleep will come eventually and now I'd rather have some sleep than no sleep at all 😅. Also not all relaxation techniques work for me like : Progressive Muscle relaxation as all of a sudden I'm hyper aware and feel like i should do something's else like get up now or drink more water cz i can feel my throat) 😂
So very glad it makes sense and thank you so much for the support!!
i've always had sunset anxiety unrelated to insomnia. I used to get very anxious and sad around 5pm, when the "work day" is over and everyone is going home, but then when it's night time I feel much better. it still happens just not as often. i always wondered what that was.
I sometimes have the same issue. I'm fine at night. It's that in-between time. It's worse in autumn/winter.
I can relate to this, it’s almost like pre sunset anxiety. For me, I think it’s an idea that I should be doing something, achieving, getting something done. But once it’s night, the idea becomes “okay, now the day is over and it’s fine to not work or achieve”, which leads to peace of mind.
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 I do think that has a lot to do with it!
Thanks! What would you say about sun-rise anxiety? Where its starting to get light and your hear the birds chirping and haven’t slept yet?
Anytime! And - that’s the next episode 😊
I don't know if I feel anxious, but definitely more awake and aroused in the evening. But could that be called low level anxiety I guess.
Sounds like you see this very clearly, thanks for sharing
Hi Daniel, I am a bit confused!
I totally understand that what we resist persists and when I’m laying in bed with the heart palpitations and hyperarousal, the best course of action is to try and allow it to be there and sit with the discomfort. However, after what feels like hours of feeling that and not seeing improvement, is that when I am supposed to get up and try to befriend wakefulness? I guess I’m confused on isn’t me getting up and reading a book, etc just me trying to escape the emotions and running away from laying there and trying to allow them to be?
Basically, Is befriending wakefulness just me trying to turn off the anxiety and just making the problem continue?
Any help would be SOOO appreciated!
hei daniel, did someone with sfi/ffi condition can feel sleepy ?
I think once they have symptoms, it’s like asking if 5 week old baby can feel sleepy… impossible to know but my guess is that their universe is so different that the question is sort of not making sense
This is sounding a little like sundown syndrome, where people with dementia or Alzheimer’s get agitated and restless in the evening and have trouble sleeping. I wonder if it’s a version of sunset anxiety?
That’s interesting, maybe we become more like children, with some fear of the dark… thanks for sharing
Hi Daniel, first off I can’t thank you enough for all of your work that you do!! I appreciate it more than I can say!!
I have a question that I really need help with, if you have the time to answer!! I recently had a baby, and the only way I could get myself to sleep in between night feedings was to pray. Of course I know there’s nothing wrong with praying, but I know that I was doing it just to make myself fall asleep. But the thing is, that it was working! My brain races so much at night that it gave me something to focus on and kind of hone in all of the rampant thoughts . However, now I am worried that I will not be able to sleep without doing this every time. I know nothing can produce sleep, but this sort of has been for me because it creates a sense of calm that I otherwise cannot get. So now I’m stuck on what to do, if I don’t pray, though there’s no way I can fall asleep because my mind never shuts off!! But I also realize that this is now maybe just a sleep effort and I may need to take a break. I just don’t know how to fall asleep without doing it and it’s hard to stop something that works right now ! Please, please please help❤️
Anytime, so glad it’s been helpful 😊 We know praying doesn’t make us sleep, but we can think “oh good, now I’ve prayed and I don’t need to do anything else” which leads to not trying to sleep - whereby sleep happens. It’s the same way medication, sleeping on couch, supplements, gadgets, rituals etc etc “work”.
Once we see this, it becomes irrelevant what we do, and then we can just pray because we feel like it, or not. We are in a low stakes environment where everything gets easier, including sleep 😊
Do you have any videos on stopping the racing thoughts?? Those are what keep me awake.. No matter how much I try to just let them be, it’ll be 3 hours and they will still be going!! Praying seems to be the only thing that stops them but I don’t want to continue a ritual😭
@thesleepcoachschool8192
And when I don’t pray my mind races but when I do it calms and I can sleep. But isn’t this a sleep effort now?! I can’t sleep unless I do it, but it does work!
@mh-mo4bj hi, we have several including episode 339… it’s about seeing what we are doing to try to control the thoughts, and when we no longer do that things get easier, rooting for you
great video. just bought “set it and forget it” the other day and have learned a lot so far. thank you for all you do ❤
Thank you! Hope you find it really helpful 😊
Why can some people sleep in and others can’t? Is it still just hyperarousal or is it the circadian rhythm too?
Hi, yes I think sleeping in is something that happens by itself when we don’t think of it as something that some “can” and some “can’t”, like a skill! So yes, it’s about hyperarousal, which fades when we no longer try to achieve sleep or thing something is wrong with us 🙂
does anyone get weird symptoms when your mind qnd body is severely sleepy? esp when you've been fighting tiredness all day and masking with anti anxiety pills. and come 7pm your lips are trembling and your mind is foggy and youre sayknf wrong words body feels weird etc... ??
SUNRISE anxiety is worse, cos you've slept 1 hour and the sun is coming up
Hang in there, this will be next episode
@@stratocaster1986able omg i can totally relate to this…
I need this one too. I’m doing better but in between good sleeps there are rough nights including all nighters. I am dealing with them better but usually if the sun starts rising I feel down.
@pergolafish so glad it made sense 🙂
Don’t think of pink elephants!
Oh no just did!