Jimmy Carr: Telling Jokes (2009) FULL SHOW | Jokes On Us
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- Опубліковано 5 жов 2023
- Jimmy Carr delivers more of his cynical take on life's little absurdities in his trademark deadpan style in this live stand-up release.
Check out more hilarious Stand Up Comedy routines - tinyurl.com/n6xvtrys
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I really needed this today. 😂
He could have added another impressive feat after the 2 word joke, and said
"Now we have the 1 word joke......... *points to someone in the audience*
YOU"
I love Jimmy. He eases my pain😔
Got a great hand! Scouser said snap lmfao
I worked in a pub in England. Some guy came in with a woman, it is an English expression, "Would you like a beer?" He asked the woman and she said, "Do I look like I drink beer?!" He turned to me and said, "I'll have a glass of vinegar with a twist of lemon."
Damn I wish I could see Jimmy Carr live! 💯🥰❤️🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I have a wicked sick sense of humor. He's right up my alley! 🤣🤣🤣
“… right up your alley.”
Sorry, you are thinking of Alan Carr !
3:25 😂
13:47 😂
She pulled me lmfao
Clairvoyant asked if I had my hand read I said no! Shoved it down her knickers! She said you have now lmfao
Red sky at night! Sky's on fire lmfao
Always hilarious is Jimmy
Uncles and aunties mums and dads lmfao! Gary glitter
Best position! Manager
20:24 🤣
Best special Ever! 😂😂😂😂😂
The "nobody goes there anymore; it's too crowded" is an old joke. Yogi Berra (1925-2015) famously said it
I got pissed went 4 a sauna! Ended up when the steam was gone bollock naked in the chip shop
I have a police record! Blowing in the bag
Leopracy card player chucked his hand in
You're my favorite comedian. Followed closely by John Mulaney
💀
Do ya wanna be in my cell lmfao
Wow!
You might have seen it coming!
Italians got caught up selling spaghetti junction
Stoned again! Hey dude
Holy shit.... the blonde woman with the nose piercing who works for Nationwide in HR. She's the same one that bellowed NO! when Jimmy asked whether there was any merit to "it's not the size that matters, it's what you do with it". She had long red hair in the other show.
Omg LOL what a Spot!
@@_-.-_-.-_ Oh stop * BLUSH *
I have a thing for faces, I guess. But than kyou just the same
Got arrested for asking someone how much a cun't weighs! All because I offered him a pound to weigh himself
Keep that joke to yourself from now on bud
I love dark jokes, a favorite is "what was the last pizza order at the twin towers?"
I don't know!
I changed energy provider! Cola
Wasn't a brummie then lmfao
3:02
Someone hit me with cheese in tesco! I thought immature
This might be the only place where I could post this and people would actually not get offended... let's hope.
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.
And she stood out with their backs turned
52:22
Jab pusher. Jog on. Sheesh.
I hope Steve and Tracey actually met up and got together.
today kids i will tell you how i met your mother
Think Steve gave her a filling
Tracy was, estimating conservatively, at least 15 years older than Steve. Steve is a Welsh Dentist. Tracy is an English slag. Do you really think that would have been a likely match?
@@Dionysos640 There’s no way she was that much older than him.
@@avengedsoul6661 Yeah ... and you should have gone to Specsavers
That is what he asks all his customers soup
Took his driving test he failed! Left his foot on the brake
Freesia means stupid cow lmfao
Police officer asked me to blow into the bag drink driving! He said not that one
What has star wars and toilet roll have in common?
Like a fishing hook
If your ears are ringing turn the alarm clock off
George Michael poor bastard! He eaten a careless whisper
Oh please, have some respect for the deceased. He's never gonna dance again.
😀
In my defense as someone with Parkinson's, we save a tremendous amount of mony by not having to buy batteries. Or lawn sprinklers, but that's not as fun to think about.
Someone called me a cun't! I said thanks for saying that I am more useful than you
Miners went into the mines with canaries! No wonder Norwich city is empty
Geordies live in tyneside! Note that they are all tied up call back later
Gin brummie
And Willoughby
Absolutely brilliant show, Jimmy Carr is incredibly funny, but I am amazed that a 13 year old was allowed in. I would have thought the show would have an 18 rated.
There was another show I watched on here with a 14 year old boy in the audience so it seems there's no rating.
I hear tales
And 6packs of bacon
How many coppers in the line up lmfao?
Pandas have black eyes oh what a surprise
Well, like fatties didn't get bullied in your school...
Typical Scotland
Just about manager
I wonder what happened with Tracy? I would have gone out with her 😊
She had some semen and basil soup then went home with a bag of chips 👍🏻
Std telecommunications
Both get rid of clingons
Muff
numbers are wrong bro
1000 jokes?
Vegans in the mod! Should be fined
Ringing in your ears and bollocks
Thistles
I cannot talk now I will be home soon darling
Vegetarian should not be in the Armed forces
Donald Trump
U need help 🙏
@@blackmaxbranning3666 I do! And you don't? Need help?
Never noticed how much he moves his mouth when he talks
1 word joke...
Biden!
😊.omoo
Trump