An emotional life update.

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  • Опубліковано 29 жов 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 137

  • @Shaz-v3w
    @Shaz-v3w 4 роки тому +2

    Hearing you speak about your step father is beautiful- I am so sorry for your loss

  • @janellesutton-keeth414
    @janellesutton-keeth414 4 роки тому +1

    I started following/subscribed to you 6 months ago, but I didn’t know your backstory.! I love that you have been so open here. Just from THIS video you have hit up in my top fav UA-camrs!!!

  • @grant62306
    @grant62306 5 років тому +5

    Oh honey! I cried through this whole video. My dad (step) also had pancreatic cancer. He lived 20 years past his diagnosis and surgery. It was a true miracle. Sadly we lost him 2 years ago (about 15 months after my mom passed). I completely know your pain. Though he was my step, he was my dad. Hugs!

  • @shellcshells2902
    @shellcshells2902 5 років тому +17

    You're a delightful, strong, young woman and I'm so sorry for your loss.

  • @madeleineee
    @madeleineee 5 років тому +1

    I'm so sorry to hear about all the sadness you've had to deal with this past year. About your question at the end, the content I think I would most like is just casual vlogs, even of nothing exciting, and especially stuff/stories about your pets!

  • @Jenniecanjump
    @Jenniecanjump 5 років тому +6

    I’m sorry to hear about your step dad and I definitely understand why you didn’t share it before. No one should feel forced to share things that they’re not comfortable sharing. I hope you’re able to heal throughout this (and have been able to) and I hope that your mom is doing much better with all of this. Much love 💕

    • @TheNightOwl1212
      @TheNightOwl1212  5 років тому +2

      Thank you very much, this was so nice to hear! I am definitely more at peace now with everything that happened and can talk about it much more freely. I feel better now that I’ve addressed it all here because I do feel that UA-cam is such a big piece of my life, but I’m glad I waited until I was comfortable. My mom is doing a lot better but it’s still very hard for her. She likes having wedding planning to distract her I think haha, it gives her something to focus on!

    • @moonkitten420
      @moonkitten420 5 років тому

      @@TheNightOwl1212 wedding planning is such a great escape, to just be able to focus on the celebration of love, thats so sweet ♡

  • @claudinelang1725
    @claudinelang1725 5 років тому +1

    I want you to know how refreshing your honesty is, the pain of losing a loved one is unfathomable and the fact that you care about all these little viewers is so sweet. I just want to scoop you up and give you a big mom hug. Blessings and all the best to you and your family. When you talked about your mom the love you feel for her was so sweet and genuine. She's raised amazing daughter.

  • @NekomimiNatsume
    @NekomimiNatsume 5 років тому +2

    Hey Kaylee - My heart completely went out to you about the loss of your Stepdad x
    I lost my Dad in 2016 with Stage 5 cancer as well (diagnosed 24 January - died 12 May 2016).
    My Uncle (My Dad's Cousin) is walking me down the aisle too in a couple of months. I rarely talk about it as well so when I was listening to your story, all those memories flooded back, remembering what I went through. I was in denial as well... it completely ruined me. I don't remember much from that year at all and I still get emotional talking about it now. He was a massive part of your life and his loss will be forever felt...
    I was sitting beside my Dad, when he left this world... all I could think of was... He won't ever get to walk me down the aisle... he won't be able to meet his first grandchildren... there are a lot of 'first's he'll miss because of that destructive disease.
    I would have been in worse shape if I didn't have a couple of priceless friends and my fiance to help put me back together x Opening up about it should never be a bad thing - one thing this has taught me is a newly found appreciation of the time we have with people. Making time for people that matter and cut out all the stuff that doesn't x
    Hope that helps a bit and hugs from Sydney, Australia x

  • @eunbixd
    @eunbixd 5 років тому +23

    Thank you so much for sharing ❤️ I would love to see more content about your adorable pets (pet vlog maybe?) and clothing hauls or how-to makeup vids! :)

  • @moonkitten420
    @moonkitten420 5 років тому +3

    I'm normally a silent viewer, the last year hasn't made me want to speak much
    But I want to say thank you, so so much for sharing this..
    You've really helped me put my feelings into words, thats not something I've ever needed before. 💜
    My dad passed away from cancer very suddenly last April, and my life for 25 years was really up and down, I lost alot of time with him. I was turned against him at a young age and I had only started learning the truth in the last few years.
    When you said its like finding out the Titanic sunk, when it was thought to be unsinkable, it resonated deep in my heart. Thats the way I always felt about my dad, and especially when I found out he was sick, I denied it and said he would get better, that it would be easy for him to beat.
    Now, a year later, the doctor found lumps in my throat and I'm waiting to see a specialist, and all the feelings I've been pushing down are coming up in harsh ways.
    You make me feel a little less alone, thank you for putting the words together because I couldn't have said it better.
    Sending you love, positivity, and high vibrations from Ontario, Canada.
    - and thank you, again. so so much 🤟🏻💜

  • @elly3477
    @elly3477 5 років тому +6

    You’re so strong! ❤️ don’t feel bad about not sharing what was going on as it was happening. Everyone deals with heartbreak differently and I definitely don’t blame you for not wanting to talk about your father when you were already having to talk about it to everyone else in your life. It’s hard!
    I would enjoy decorating videos, organization videos, videos about your pets, not sure what all you’re into but those are ideas!

  • @bethanyhanna9464
    @bethanyhanna9464 5 років тому +1

    My sympathies go out to you about your dad. I lost my dad when I was around your age, and was blindsided, even knowing he'd been sick a long time. Sending prayers your way, as it's all I have to give. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

  •  5 років тому

    I'm so sorry you and your family had to go through such a hard time with your step dad passing away. I recently lost a family member to cancer and it was pretty atrocious so I feel your plain. I also lost my mom when I was 12 and we honored her at our wedding. I'm impressed with the fact that you were able to talk about your step dad, it took me years to talk about my mom, and even then I would just mention her and cry. I sincerely hope your sorrow lessens and that you feel a little lighter after honoring him at your wedding

  • @cherylann9781
    @cherylann9781 5 років тому +4

    I'm so sorry about your stepdad. I understand entirely your need to compartmentalize everything that was happening to you. Sometimes that's the only way one can stay sane. Congratulations on your new job! I worked as a contractor for 4 years before I was hired and it was an amazing feeling! I think you're a lovely human being and would love to see more about your fur babies, and perhaps about the area you live in. Most of us know very little about the far northeast.

  • @LexyVolturi
    @LexyVolturi 5 років тому

    I am so sorry for your loss, it will slowly get better and you need to allow yourself to heal. It's never gonna fully heal, but think about the happy memories you have. When you were telling your story it reminded me of my family. People on my dad's side have had cancer and lost. People on my mom's side have had cancer and beat them. My dad has had cancer twice. My mom had stage four colon cancer that traveled to her kidney.. she had been fighting that for almost three years and she sadly passed away June 25th this year. Much love from my family to yours!

  • @TexasAlabama
    @TexasAlabama 5 років тому +1

    Oh gosh how my heart is breaking for you. I lost my mother in my late 20's, and you never get over it. I can't even imagine what your mom went / is going through, I'm in my mid 40's and haven't married yet, although I hope to, and I hope to find a father for my daughter. I have also had a hard life and most people just don't understand, "normal" people live on a different plane. You are such a good daughter to love your mom so much and realize her struggles. I hope that you will consider counseling for yourself if you are still struggling with your dad's passing.

  • @keepyourheadup9183
    @keepyourheadup9183 5 років тому +2

    I’m sorry to hear you lost such a special person in your life. I have not lost a parent, but I’ve lost a sister.
    I’d like to see more about Maine, and what you do for fun around your town. Also, I’m interested in your graphic design work, so maybe a lazy tutorial, or just a “my favorite creations” brag on your graphic design work.

  • @creativepixie347
    @creativepixie347 5 років тому +3

    I am so sorry to hear about your stepdad. I understand why you didn’t want to share until now, you needed to be ready in your own time. I lost my mom a few years ago, and she was remarried to my stepdad - who treated my mom like a queen. To see him hurt so much when we lost her was devastating, so I understand what you are saying. To lose a parent is the most difficult thing to process. Hugs to you.

  • @patriciawoodward9121
    @patriciawoodward9121 5 років тому +9

    Thank you for making this video. I know it was hard for you to make it. (: You are a light to others. Thank you for being a UA-cam friend to me through the camera.

  • @alejandragaliciagonzalez8358
    @alejandragaliciagonzalez8358 5 років тому

    It's really hard when someone you see as indestructible suddenly becomes so fragile and vulnerable and mortal. I went through the same stages with my aunt; she used to live nextdoor and she would take care of me when I was little and my parents were working. She was my superhero and my inspiration; she always had a big smile on her face, and even the last time I saw her alive she made a joke about her condition. It's so hard to heal from that and I don't believe we ever completely heal. Thank you for sharing with us, it's really hard to talk about these things; I lost my aunt 4 years ago and it still feels like it was last week, I miss her everyday. My heart is with you and your family. 💕💕💕💕
    I like all of your videos! I'd love to see some puppy updates. Also maybe tips and tricks about wedding planning. 😊

  • @lindseylloyd7038
    @lindseylloyd7038 5 років тому +2

    So glad you are in a better place now. I am a nurse for a pancreatic cancer surgeon. It is very... hard. And i never know what to tell patients and families. I appreciate hearing your side of it. You're a very strong person. ❤

  • @nealanpaulaking9708
    @nealanpaulaking9708 5 років тому +1

    Sorry for your loss, it's totally understandable you needed to do things in your own time in your own way. So glad you've got the permanent place in your company. I like the videos of old high school stories and the bridesmaid story.

  • @Maruzella_
    @Maruzella_ 5 років тому +3

    I'm so sorry for your loss

  • @nenasnonsense
    @nenasnonsense 5 років тому +1

    I'm sorry for your loss and it's so nice of you to share this with your viewers, I hope letting it all out helps you somehow. Big hugs to you and I thought I was subscribed to you but I wasn't and I went to subscribe and the sub count was exactly at 34,999 so I'm your 35,000 subscriber lol I feel super smug 😂😎

  • @hornedcountryangel
    @hornedcountryangel 5 років тому

    Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us. I understand how hard it is to talk about, I went through the same emotions and feeling when my nana was diagnosed with cancer and then all the aftermath. You have every right to not want to share things with people regarding your family and things that happen.

  • @krystalpallas742
    @krystalpallas742 5 років тому +8

    Wow! You had me crying through this whole video! It's like absolute deja vu to me! SO Crazy! My mother started with the same back pain symptoms, I then went on a cruise to Aruba, on which I would call to check in, and eventually one of those calls ended with being told my mother was in the hospital for it. Finally she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I was also in complete denial. I dealt with the constant questioning from everyone. I never wanted to talk about it, because it made it more real. Life became chaos with constant anxiety of the unknown. It is the most difficult thing I have ever and probably will ever go through in my life. I lost my mother and best friend, and 3 years later I still don't fully accept it. Sorry for the novel, I just wanted you to know that I COMPLETELY understand. Thank you for sharing your story, it helps to know that others have gone through the same situation and continue to heal from it. I'm so sorry about your step dad, but I truly believe that they will always watch over us.

  • @joanmilano5302
    @joanmilano5302 5 років тому +6

    I'm so sorry. I lost both of my parents and I understand that loss.

  • @bethbriggs9629
    @bethbriggs9629 5 років тому

    Thank you for sharing this emotional time of your life. I went to a grief group when my mother passed as I needed help. The biggest thing I learned was that EVERYONE handles grief differently and that's OK! I know how much this must have taken out of you to do. Hugs to you and much sympathy.

  • @KDu400
    @KDu400 5 років тому +3

    I’m so sorry for your loss! My step dad is my DAD as well...so I feel your loss♥️
    As for new content, you should do a “day In the life” video....and take us to work with you (if allowed of course)! I love your channel, you are so real and relatable 😊

  • @bobodianne
    @bobodianne 5 років тому +41

    i would like to see a series on wedding planning, customs etc + young professional life adventures (maybe not with info from your company or life, cause that's sensitive, but maybe exploring different situations and topics that can occur, contracts, health care, what are taxes and who is fica :))))) etc)

  • @mgraynap
    @mgraynap 5 років тому

    I’m so sorry to hear about your stepdad :( my father died of pancreatic cancer when I was 15. Everything you’re feeling is valid and normal, the denial, the desire to keep it private, all of it. Thank you for sharing, sending healing energy your way ❤️

  • @heidiallen9934
    @heidiallen9934 4 роки тому

    I lost my dad last year to pancreatic cancer, it was less than 3 months from diagnosis to when he passed. I completely get compartmentalizing so you can deal with it. It was one of the hardest things I have ever gone through and I am so sorry that you had to go through it as well.

  • @ShanMarie513
    @ShanMarie513 5 років тому

    I’m so sorry to hear about your Dad. I know how difficult it can be and there’s nothing I can say to make it any better. I lost my Dad to cancer when I was 21 and it was the most difficult time of my life. 15 years later, I still miss him everyday, but I can think of him and smile now. I can laugh about the weird things he used to do and say. The “missing” part doesn’t go away, it changes. Sending you and your family all the good vibes ... 💗

  • @angieshepard9801
    @angieshepard9801 5 років тому

    First, my condolences on the loss of your Dad. Any man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a Dad he was the one there for you mentally, physically, and emotionally, that’s a Dad.
    Congratulations on your new job, and health benefits!!
    I understand why you didn’t/couldn’t share that story. Denial and self preservation are strong God Bless You

  • @mrsmango6116
    @mrsmango6116 5 років тому

    I am so sorry for yours and your families loss. Sending so much love and hugs.

  • @bobeka96
    @bobeka96 5 років тому

    My grandma has cancer and at her last treatment at the cancer treatment center in Georgia we found out that there was nothing more that they could do and that the cancer has completely taken over her body. So now it is just like a ticking clock of when the time will run out. It completely blindsided us and I didn’t want to believe it either. Today she tried to get out of the bed to use her bedside potty and ended up falling and breaking her hip. She is currently in the hospital waiting on a hip transplant later this week. It feels like one thing has just been piled on top of another. I total understand what you went trough. And I understand how hard it is. If I could give you a hug I so would ❤️❤️❤️

  • @cassrose3874
    @cassrose3874 5 років тому +2

    I am so sorry to hear about your step dad 💔. I think it would be cool to see the scenery in Maine! I want to eventually visit someday but it would be cool to see what Maine looks like. I heard it's pretty 😊

  • @stephanielee370
    @stephanielee370 5 років тому +1

    I'm sorry for your loss. Congrats on all the good stuff: wedding, new job, benefits!

  • @Mess4jess
    @Mess4jess 5 років тому

    You deserve so much more than 35K! I love how humble you are though & are so excited over 35K. I love watching your videos because you seem like a real person, unlike a lot of other youtubers!

  • @ZoeF.O
    @ZoeF.O 5 років тому

    So sorry for your loss, and I completely understand your "need for denial" everything. My mom was killed few years ago, and I still haven't cried. Will I ever? We were super close to each other, and I feel the same as I felt that day. I've lost the big part of myself in the process, I have lost her in exactly 6 minutes, after I've seen and talk to her (joking and laughing). And I still don't talk about it, or at least CRY when I'm by myself. Will I ever?
    Btw, you are so sweet and cute, sorry for my ranting.

  • @QuotingCourtney
    @QuotingCourtney 5 років тому +1

    I feel like this was such a good release for you. I’d love to see dog videos or maybe a video of you reacting to footage from when you were young and what you would’ve told your younger self now? I love listening to your stories while I get ready in the morning - thanks for keeping me company lol!

  • @TiffWaffles
    @TiffWaffles 5 років тому

    I am so sorry to hear about your stepdad. Pancreatic cancer is awful. The thing that makes it so devastating isn't just the fact that your loved one is suffering through cancer, but the fact that once someone starts exhibiting signs and symptoms of Pancreatic Cancer and gets diagnosed once those symptoms appear, it's usually too late. I am so sorry that you and your family had to go through this. Nobody deserves to go through the pain of having cancer and lose their battle with it.

  • @AG-kr1my
    @AG-kr1my 4 роки тому

    My dad died 6 months after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I am so sorry. Sending you and your family so much love ❤

  • @ashleighsteaparty268
    @ashleighsteaparty268 5 років тому

    Firstly I just wanted to say I am so so sorry to hear about your stepdad. I lost my mum to cancer in 2017 and it was just the worst possible time, and like you I just didn’t always know what to say to people about it. You are so brave for being able to sit down and tell your story.
    As for content, I have to admit that I do love your story times but totally get that you may not be able to have an endless supply of those. What are you’re main hobbies? Maybe you could focus on those? For example, if you like reading maybe show what books you’re reading at the moment etc. Sending lots of love! xx

  • @retrobebop61
    @retrobebop61 5 років тому +1

    So sorry for your loss. And congrats on your employment!

  • @jaclyns1121
    @jaclyns1121 5 років тому

    Awww. Many of us know what you were/are going through❤️❤️. I lost my husband, cousin, uncle and aunt in 2016. Husband and uncle to cancer. Mom is also a breast cancer survivor. Stay as strong as you can ❤️❤️❤️

  • @bethanyhanna9464
    @bethanyhanna9464 5 років тому

    I only just started watching your channel. Honestly, I didn't expect to enjoy it as much as I have. But I'm totally hooked. On first impressions, I didn't think I'd connect with you, but I really do. You're around my son's age, and I love the way you present your life in an honest manner. I usually turn away from this sort of content, because it feels like the people are in a fakeness competition. But you really don't give off that vibe.
    I love seeing you share the real things you've done, or are doing in your life. Yes, I love the storytime videos, (You're really good at painting a story picture, keep it up as you can.) but I really like how you impart your youthful wisdom as well. I'd really just like to see you focus on topics that feel real to you. Definitely, with your upcoming wedding, I'd expect to see more wedding related content. Maybe information about weddings in general, that you've picked up along your adventures. 💜

  • @Purplepixie42
    @Purplepixie42 5 років тому +1

    I just went through this with my own dad, in July. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. 💕

  • @rachelgrit
    @rachelgrit 5 років тому

    I'm so sorry for your loss. Fathers are so special and it sounds like he was an amazing person who impacted you in a huge way.
    I'd love to see more storytimes from you.

  • @sylviaayala4297
    @sylviaayala4297 5 років тому +1

    You now have a guardian angel.........Love your videos

  • @kerricoulter7551
    @kerricoulter7551 5 років тому

    At the beginning of the vows at my cousin's wedding, the pastor said a few kind words about her father (my uncle) being there that day and how we couldn't see it but he got to watch his little girl walk down the aisle and then my cousin light a single candle stick that was on an individual floor high candle holder and it was absolutely beautiful!

  • @tiffanyyanni5121
    @tiffanyyanni5121 5 років тому

    So so sorry for your loss, I lost my mom last year too, December 20th, I hear you with the wedding, I always wanted her to be hear for my wedding, and if I have children. Love that your guys wedding date is his birthday. That is a great way and honor him. Can't wait for more of your videos. I love how real you are, I actually started following you when you posted about your friends wedding, it popped up when I was looking at wedding stuff. You were so real about it. I'm also subscribe to your other channel too, love how you vlog everything about your vacation, it was fun to watch, hope to see more of those too. By the way you hit 35k Subscriber's. Congratulations 👏😊🎉🎉🎉

  • @shannonvinson29
    @shannonvinson29 5 років тому

    Congratulations on becoming an employee with benefits at your job, and I’m so sorry about the loss of your stepdad. He is watching over you, and his pain is gone now ❤️

  • @jenng6145
    @jenng6145 5 років тому +3

    💜💜💜💜💜💜 I been through this, but with my grandma. Sending you and your family positive thoughts and love

  • @jasminescherbenski570
    @jasminescherbenski570 5 років тому

    I’m so sorry for your loss. It never makes any sense when we lose the people we love. I really love vlogs whether they be like weekly or monthly or even on vacations. I love random cooking even if you don’t know how to cook or bake cuz it’s fun 😂 like baking challenges or just stuff you’ve seen on Pinterest that you wanna attempt to make and see if it’s actually doable. I really enjoy your channel even though I’ve been subscribed for a short time. You have a beautiful little family! ❤️❤️❤️

  • @kayceecole2251
    @kayceecole2251 5 років тому

    Girl I feel you. I lost my dad to stage 4 adrenal gland and lung cancer in 2015 when i was 19. Prayers to you and your family!

  • @amberf3599
    @amberf3599 5 років тому +2

    My mom died of Leukemia. I couldn't talk about it because then it would be real. Losing her was like losing a piece of my soul.
    I'm so sorry sweetheart. Warm hugs❤

  • @Wendy_Scotland
    @Wendy_Scotland 5 років тому +4

    Sorry to hear about your loss and thank you for sharing something that personal. I would love to see your cats/dogs. I love seeing what you get up to on like a normal week maybe?

  • @bostonb2247
    @bostonb2247 5 років тому +2

    Girl, I knew you were a sis :) Lol, I'm a graphic designer, too. Got my degree in it; and, I know how emotionally draining it can be--not to be that dramatic about it. But, seriously, I also identified with your wedding drama story. I've been surrounded by narcissists, too many, and just selfish, weird people who I didn't realize were that way until their masks slipped. I am so glad to hear things are looking up for you and Congrats! on getting your new job!

  • @jacirogers9109
    @jacirogers9109 5 років тому +1

    You do what content feels right to you.

  • @jackiekreitzer9598
    @jackiekreitzer9598 5 років тому

    I’m so sorry to hear that you felt like you couldn’t share your story/journey with your family. Hopefully you can find healing and look up towards your wedding, puppies, and your job

  • @darlenebatts6860
    @darlenebatts6860 5 років тому

    Aww im so sorry for your loss. My heart breaks for you sweetie. Glad things are better for you work wise. I'll keep you in my prayers and your family as well. Take care.

  • @jenniferwellman5311
    @jenniferwellman5311 5 років тому

    You’re a very strong woman, and it takes more than biology to be a parent. For all intents purposes your stepfather was your father, in every sense of the words. So sorry for your loss.

  • @missjamielyn
    @missjamielyn 5 років тому +1

    First off, I am so sorry to hear about your stepdad. I can’t begin to imagine the pain and sadness you have gone through. Secondly, congratulations on your job! That is amazing. So happy for you. Please definitely do wedding stuff :) I’d like to see some vlogs too.

  • @jennifermontgrain6208
    @jennifermontgrain6208 5 років тому

    I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is difficult I lost my mom to colon cancer 5 years ago and when she got sick I reacted the same way you did. I did not think for a second I was going to lose her until a week before she died. I am so glad you shared this with the youtube family. It not only helps others but it can help you as well knowing you are not alone. I love your videos. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. xoxo

  • @brookemiller7467
    @brookemiller7467 5 років тому +3

    Hun I'm gonna be honest I'm here for the Creator and will like the content regardless. I think you are amazing and can't wait to watch more

  • @debbikruzel
    @debbikruzel 5 років тому

    I am so sorry for your loss. My daddy who is not my bio father passed away August 19, 2018. We are so blessed that we had a second chance having a man who loved us as their own. My dad and your dad are special men, they did not have to love us as their own. They showed us what a real man is.

  • @ItsMilgurt
    @ItsMilgurt 5 років тому

    I am so sorry for what you've been going through. My step dad had cancer some years ago, fortunately he's fine but it was a very scary time. I hope you & your family are healing. ❤

  • @KrissyChacon
    @KrissyChacon 5 років тому +1

    I lost my father in 2017 to pancreatic cancer. I feel your pain. Much love your way

  • @ChelseaAnderson
    @ChelseaAnderson 5 років тому +1

    Girl I feel for you! I lost my biological dad to cancer when I was just 15 and am now in the testing process for hereditary cancers. I still have yet to watch your wedding dress video but I'd love to see more wedding planning vids and some makeup tutorials

  • @abbyhamby3661
    @abbyhamby3661 5 років тому

    Ty for sharing my grandparents passed away back to back 2017 and 2018 I am still in denial and cry when I think about it like now …but so glad I saw your video, I am so sorry for your loss

  • @luv2bevl1
    @luv2bevl1 5 років тому

    Just wanted to say, I understand being indenial & wanting normalcy.
    I was 23 my Mom was finally been diagnosed with Stage 4 Ovarian Cancer.
    In some ways I was very clear headed on some of her journey, very Clinical about thinking ahead, very much about what she would need, what we would need to do.
    & the there was other side of me that craved normalcy.
    Home wasn't normal, work (although it was a horrible job), was a safe haven!
    I was glad for the friends that sometimes didn't ask about everything with my Mom, because I needed to think of other things, & most of them just didn't know how to react.
    The general conversation would just ask how my Parents were doing, of course because they cared, but they didn't grill me, they didn't know what to say, they didn't want to hurt me, & they knew sometimes I felt like a ticking time boom.
    I had some friends that avoided me all together, because the idea of what my Mom & family was going through, it was just to scary for them!
    I was a mess, my Dad feared to leave my Moms side! My Dogs would wimper when my Mom came home from her Chemo & Radiation, they could smell it in her body! I tried my hardest to do everything I could for her!
    Worse was my Physical reaction to her. Which @ 1st I did my best to ignor!
    My skin became inflamed, had a rash, hives, even bruises! Soar throat, allergies got worse, eyes dry & blood shot! Even Asthma
    When I was out some symptoms subsided.
    The Doctor confirmed I was having a reaction to the Chemo &/or Radiation treatment!
    We were warned about cleaning Dishes, & the Bathroom properly as precautionary for the drugs being toxic!
    Made sure towels weren't used by others, not sitting around, washing clothes & towels used by her more immediately so they weren't leaving toxins.
    Not about what happened to me!
    It was harder, when I had to wear medical gloves to touch my mom, long sleeved shirts, to avoid skin contact!
    Worse not giving her a kiss!
    I had to do that for the 1st week after every treatment she had!🤕
    I risked kissing my Moms cheeks anyways!
    Glad I did! Lost my Mom suddenly last year!
    I'd take the horrible skin & everything to have her back!

  • @shelby2184
    @shelby2184 5 років тому

    My thoughts and prayers are with you in this season of your life. 💕

  • @ayeshanasir9916
    @ayeshanasir9916 5 років тому +1

    Very sorry to hear about your loss

  • @dawnspengler9357
    @dawnspengler9357 5 років тому +2

    So happy and sad for you at the same time! Hope your mom is doing well.

  • @sheanamclaughlin8940
    @sheanamclaughlin8940 5 років тому

    That’s a lot to have on your shoulders. I’m sure you feel like a weight has been lifted. I’m sorry about your dad. I can’t imagine how that was for you. You are strong. 💜
    I’d like to see some of the wedding plans. Horror stories, good stories. Dress shopping. Bridesmaids dress shopping .
    You go girl

  • @daynal
    @daynal 5 років тому

    People can be so friggen insensitive!! I was diagnosed with brain cancer last year, I was 32 years old at the time. The amount of questions I still get from my co-workers and total strangers is soo heartless, unkind and downright rude! I am so sorry for your loss!

  • @kellymorton544
    @kellymorton544 4 роки тому

    I just found you're channel. It's so bizarre because my mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer the end of April of 2008 and she passed away September 4th. I know exactly how you feel. My mom was my best friend. It's been 12 years last month. It still doesn't get any easier some days. And then my dad passed 2 months later after my mom. So it was a double whammy for me. Unfortunately by the time they're diagnosed already in stage 3 or 4. They told my mom that she needed her gallbladder taken out that's when they found the cancer. It has spread to her liver. Please know that you're dad would be so proud of you and will be with you on your wedding day. Sending you prayers at the difficult time. 🙏🕊️

  • @the.scorpio.wonder
    @the.scorpio.wonder 5 років тому +1

    wedding update! what your thinking you want for a home! a dog volg!

  • @sosborneknight
    @sosborneknight 5 років тому

    Feel so sad that you lost your Dad prior to your wedding, life sometimes is so unfair to people who deserve better. You will be a stronger person for your own children 💟🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧💟

  • @biznatch18
    @biznatch18 5 років тому

    I usually come to UA-cam for clothing hauls, makeup tutorials/try ons, amazon item reviews, story times, vlogs, home decor dust or season decorating, gardening vlogs...

  • @DEBRACRANFORD
    @DEBRACRANFORD 5 років тому

    I am so sorry about your loss. Death touches us all. But I wish it was without the dying going thru so much pain. My mom was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and died 4 days later in hospice. To go from a seemingly healthy person... the heart pain is tremendous.

  • @kori7331
    @kori7331 5 років тому

    I lost my father in law to pancreatic cancer back in December 2017. He was diagnosed in May 2017, with stage 3. Being there for my husband, who was very close to his father, was so hard to go through. I have guilt around the time he had passed away because I was incredibly sick the weekend of his passing. My husband had decided to stay the night at his parents for a few days since he was in hospice and they said he wasnt doing great. After my husband came home (2 days away from eachother), I said I felt okay to go over to his parents house to be there to support him. I was just highly contagious with a stomach virus and didn't want to make him or anyone else sick. We had gotten a call that night before we decided to head over, around 6 pm that his breathing was labored and we needed to come over now. We got in the car, got there, opened the front door and was told he had just passed 15 minutes prior. I felt guilt for so long... because my husband told me every day he didnt want to miss his father passing. Of course my husband never blamed me of anything, but if I hadn't of been sick, he would have been there for his father. Anyways, I understand where you're coming from. Of not wanting to share your personal life to every one. I was the exact same way. I wanted normalcy in a time where there wasnt much. Don't feel guilty for wanting to hold on to what made you happy at the time. Our loved ones would have wanted that. My mother in law told me that I shouldnt feel guilty for any of it, that my father in law had his time to say his goodbyes to my husband and that he would've wanted him to come back home to me to check up on me. I hope your family continues to heal. I hope you continue to heal. We're nearing 2 years now, and it still feels odd. But it does continue to be less odd, if that makes sense? Cancer is a nightmare, for everyone involved, especially pancreatic. And I'm so sorry you had to endure that. I wish my best to you and your family.

  • @lizziegordon9779
    @lizziegordon9779 5 років тому +3

    So early! Yayy! I live in Brunswick and your video about what Mainers say is the absolute best!

  • @DaveyCass
    @DaveyCass 5 років тому

    Thanks for sharing I know it must be so hard. I feel for you. Glad everything is looking up for you. And bless your step dad. ❤️

  • @rosebud0391
    @rosebud0391 5 років тому

    No need to downplay your pain. Blood doesn't make you love or miss anyone less. Blood doesn't make you anymore his daughter than you already were. You are allowed to grieve. I hope that your family is constantly filled with the good and happy memories that he brought you. My heart goes out to your mom. As someone who has also experience a hard life, it can be challenging to accept and fall deeply in love with someone. To be able to feel as though everything is finally settling and you've gotten that solace in a never-ending storm. To loose must be devastating. I am sending her so much love and light during this hard time.

  • @TheWardHouse
    @TheWardHouse 5 років тому

    I think you are an exceptional human being and I love your content. I too had someone special pass away from cancer...my step brother passed on Christmas morning 4 years ago and it's still hard to deal with sometimes. I feel ya girl!
    As for new content, how about a Q and A with your main man!

  • @suzannecardall6612
    @suzannecardall6612 5 років тому +2

    I am so sorry about your step dad

  • @Mehlia626
    @Mehlia626 5 років тому

    True crime - idky but when I think of your channel I get that vibe.
    Just so long as YOU as a person/your personality is there I think is what matters

  • @mommyb516
    @mommyb516 5 років тому

    From one New England girl to another, you should do a series on New England. i.e. things unique to New England, visiting sites of interest, etc!

  • @heathermachala7623
    @heathermachala7623 5 років тому

    My mom passed a year ago on 9/24 from cancer. I feel for you!! ❤

  • @GoddessDiv
    @GoddessDiv 5 років тому

    I really feel for you and your fiancée. I lost my mother-in-law and father-in-law both to lung cancer within the first 6 years of our marriage.

  • @jacirogers9109
    @jacirogers9109 5 років тому

    Love and prayers.

  • @amberarmstrong4234
    @amberarmstrong4234 5 років тому

    Also having a dog who likes to chew random things I found that the Bullymake Box was great for him along with JW toys treat balls, if you can keep them busy they don't chew random things as much.

  • @angelavangundy-caruso2233
    @angelavangundy-caruso2233 5 років тому +1

    So so sorry for your loss ❤️ I can only imagine how hard that was. I’m in the same boat as you my step dad is my dad as well.
    Can’t wait to see more wedding stuff! Also wouldn’t mind seeing a get ready with me (aka how do you always make your make up and hair look so perfect.)
    Sending much love from NY ❤️❤️❤️

  • @kayleighyoung4485
    @kayleighyoung4485 5 років тому

    So sorry for your loss xxx. I'm new to your channel but I think your great and what's even better is we have the same name 👍😁 video content...how about vlogging? Doing either a weekly or even just the weekend? Hope this helps and your a wonderful person and I hope your mum is doing ok. Sending hugs and love from me in the UK. Xxx

  • @K_A_R749
    @K_A_R749 5 років тому

    So sorry for your loss, I don't blame you for keeping it off here I would have done the same :)
    Lots of love ❤ XO
    I would really enjoy seeing Wedding planning, clothing hauls, makeup and hair tutorials, vlogs, whats in my bag, crafts/diy, and maybe shopping hauls.... Just some ideas for ya :)

  • @SungieF
    @SungieF 5 років тому

    I'm so sorry for your loss

  • @nolagirl7082
    @nolagirl7082 5 років тому

    Congrats on 35k!!🎉🎉

  • @Paula-sw2tt
    @Paula-sw2tt 4 роки тому

    My husband died in 2009 of penile cancer. I hate cancer. He died the day after our daughter's 16th birthday and we lost everything. I am so sorry for your loss. I love stuff about pets.