Male here, Majored in psych years ago. It is a female dominated major. From classroom discussions 13 years ago, it is NOT a male sensitive arena. I am afraid what counseling they are giving to men in 2023.
What scares and bothers me the most about all this, is how I see these dynamics played out in people's interactions with children. My niece is encouraged every step of the way, everything she does is praised and rewarded. Meanwhile my nephew is constantly ridiculed and judged at every step. My sister-in-law ridiculed him once for the way he was sitting, saying it would "give him hip problems". I can see the difference in how they are treated coming out in their personalities. My niece is brave and fearless, she's excited and moves about the world with confidence already at only 4 years old. Meanwhile my nephew who is 7 is shy, fearful, and constantly seeking permission from others for every step he takes. It is absolutely infuriating to see. I do my best to combat this, but I can only do so much. I saw this exact same scenario play out in a former relationship I had with a woman who had two young children, male and female. Infuriating to watch this happen to boys from the very start.
Men are divided, scattered, and leaderless. I find the greatest purpose in being the one who pulls friends and acquaintances together, who gathers new people into a cohesive group. I push my male AND female friends to do group activities, to connect, and to talk about what is really going on in their lives, and how they feel about it. I’ve got many great female friends that aren’t afraid of men like so many women today. These girls (24-30) love hanging out, touching us, being vulnerable with us, and they trust us. But…before openly being part of our group, my female friends had no idea how poorly men were doing. They never stopped to think about it because the world has been pushing female empowerment for so long. They were so worried about their own race for success that they never stopped to look around them and see they had left the men behind. Even my (very conservative) female friends drank at least some of the empowerment koolaid. Many regret getting their degrees in post-graduate education and would rather have had looked for a man to start a family with.
Great video. The expectation in society for men to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and go it alone is so toxic. It creates loneliness and the feeling of “it’s your own fault“. We’re in a complicated time where there’s still a ton of complicated older men with problematic values in positions of power in politics, big companies, so the prevailing feeling in society will not be “aww, poor men”. But this leads to the next generation feeling unsupported and isolated. We need to open up the conversation to that truth and that’s why I so appreciate your work, Connor! Yes, men can do better than we’ve done in the past, I see emotional disconnection everywhere leading to disastrous relationships. So laying out a quest for “being a better man while still being ok with being a man and embracing your masculinity” is the only path forward and your channel does amazing work promoting that idea
I’m female. Graduated 30 years ago. Have a masters. My husband was a traded guy. He passed. My current bf is in trades. Issue is more from man re education difference. I see them as highly intelligent and offering info I don’t have.
I just recently contacted my local lodge. I really need this at this time and point in my life. When the world wants to make you a weaker man become a better man!
When we started becoming accepting of single motherhood, we started to see the swift decline in men. Because women say one thing and mean another. So they raise their sons to be good boys, never realizing that they stay boys because their mothers take the fight out of them. It's unreal the difference between watching young kids who are raised in a nuclear family vs ones raised by their mothers. The boys raised in nuclear families are always much more confident, stronger and know how to do more. Where as most of the boys I have come across raised by single moms spend most of their free time on their tablets when they get home from school.
Check this out. I have a relative who got with a guy. They have a son. He is 7 now. The whole relatiomship, this guy could barely show up. This woman tried. She even made the plans for when theyd visit his grandma. Then are separate now, but she had the kid more than him. He has time to pick the kid up from school and hang out with him and teach him to ride a bike. He doesnt WANT to spend time w his kid.
@@deirdremorris9234 Yep, because guess what? That woman, like so many countless other women, decided to pick a jerk because women like jerks. So what do you expect a jerk to act like? A fantastic strong father figure type of guy? Or a jerk who only cares about himself? There's a reason that for virtually ALL of human history across ALL cultures, the fathers would pick the husbands for their daughters. Because women don't pick good men.
Great discussion topic - very deep dive. You’re spot on about everything said here. As a Black male, I’ve never directly taken a moment to wonder how many Black male therapists there are out there. Ironically, becoming a Counselor of some capacity has been a goal of mine and it would be an honor to one day join into that industry for those who would feel most comfortable with a Black male Therapist. I enjoyed this videos and some others from your channel - keep it up Brother.
Yes bartering our authenticity is rough. When men have to “tool up” and barter our potential for security, things get ugly. Potential is showing capacity, so when there is no cushion for thinking out loud, or marshalling resources, or acquiescence, men decline.
Male 34. I found Kevin Samuels a few years ago he's my hero. Everything he teaches and the example he set is GOLD. I consider myself really fortunate to have access to his information it's like a massive upgrade to my understanding, my psychology. I celebrate and cultivate my masculinity I'm not hearing anyone tell me that's wrong.. Samuels spoke a lot about the black community but his teachings are inclusive. Use the interweb to your advantage, Jocko, Rich Cooper, Chomsky are a very honorable mentions. Cheers
I understand that it's rough out there, and I truly feel sorry for anyone who is unemployed and sincerely seeking work but is having trouble finding it. However, if you are unemployed, and you aren't even looking, then you need to get your ass out there and start. Giving up won't bring back your self-respect and confidence. Action will. If you don't have any marketable skills then you need to figure out a way get them. You don't necessarily have to go it it alone, but in the end it is you that needs to do the work. And another thing. Ignore all the shit talking...that goes for both sides. Don't ever let anyone else but you determine your worth as a man.
I think that it's generally good for women to say that they value certain characteristics in men, or what their definition of a good man is, and vice versa for men.... But i apsolutely agree that we need a balanced perspective and the biggest problem with this is, the narrative is mostly spread by *feminist* women in particular, as they tend to be louder and have more social media and media presence. Great video as usual :)
TW for survivors below: There’s a lot to be said here, first off the reason the Boy Scouts don’t exist anymore outside of the pandemic was due to the rampant sexual assault that happened and usually at the hands of other men that these young boys looked up to. They also need help and healing. It’s sad, young boys should have a space where they are free to explore and get in touch with both their masculine and feminine sides, not only to be better partners and friends, but better people and inspirational to other men! It takes a community! As a college graduate, while my financial prospects are a lot better than those with only a high school diploma, I will say that it was still hard. The rents in my city gradually went up as I got my first apartment…but I was back at home for nearly two years and working. We need to acknowledge that the average rent for just even a basic studio apartment is ridiculous everywhere. And with jobs that do not pay much to cover basic necessities. A lot of men struggle to take care of themselves due to their lack of internal willpower, I know this…because I've been there. And you can get out of it, it takes time. I will strongly disagree that sharing your opinions in college will get you cancelled 😂 You are entitled to say what you want, but if it's rooted in hate and malevolence, then don't be surprised when no one wants to be around you. I hope more dudes find their way and one free of toxic traits.
Great video. This is my first time commenting. I like the solution you offered it makes sense. I would suggest that emotional intelligence is being current with your feelings, then offering a better feeling thought to progress.
Interesting - I've been developing and delivering a mentoring youth program in the UK - for groups of ten kids in schools. It's separated into boys and girls groups... For 11 year olds it has been a bit wild to see how much more advanced girls communication skills are and how easily they picked up the things I would teach.. boys mostly want to run around and have fun..That's just on the developmental speed point.
This guy acts like men are just waiting in the wings to help other men. Nope. Men either will sink or swim, its just the way it works. Todays culture just applifies it all. The sooner a man figures it out the better. I try to train guys at work, they arent interested, many times see me in their way of advancement. Or they rat me out with false claims.
I'm not saying every man is waiting in the wings to help, I'm saying the notion that you're in it alone is BS. Even you're describing how you try to help the men you work with. Just looks different. Either way, appreciate your take
One thing that I thought of is that the definition of Willingness is “prepared to do something” so when men are clingy, poor and pure, coerced, neglected, sloth, staunch and taken aback, they are not prepared to do something(unwilling). Men get willing when a statistical probability meets with a well planned strategy, when we can clear and clean the slate, when we are effective, equanimous, and foster a peaceful encounter.
Excellent discussion & clear carryover Mate. FYI: It appears your audio is slightly off from your visual effects. I would be interested in giving toward your work if helps your channel in this regard.
Europe: It would be nice if you related your views to what was going on in other countries besides America. There is a tendency to assume that what is going on in America generalises across Europe for example. However, some context about Britain, Scandinavia, Europe etc would be beneficial to your approach I think.
Less common statistically, but likely equally important. What aspects of this (men growing up without a mother) do you think should be added to the conversation?
For instance, when they get into a relationship with a woman, they don't know how to give that kind of love because they feel unloved despite success in life. Nowadays they are also in a dilemma to choose what they know from what they are told by society and the media.@@ManTalks
Has anyone reached out to some of the newly transitioned trans males to see if any are available to teach boys how to become men? They literally have become men no different then our grandfathers and fathers in society.
They won't ever admit that though. Any issues that are caused by a lack of participation by men will just be explained away with some other reason. A lot of people are just programmed to think men aren't needed in most situations.
@Nick-tm2sw exactly but they will still have to do something about it. This is why.i support passport bros because they are terrifying the government leaving with their assets and building up rival countries with their money. Sure they may try to ban travel for men but they cant force marriage. The government needs men to make babies and families. Laws are changing at least in Florida and Virginia (or Tennessee) divorce and alimony laws are changing.
Unbelievable video where he just lists problems like no male spaces..who attacking those things? 🤔 why is there no male only boy scouts? Dont you dare try to understand the reason, just wonder aimlessly
Male here, Majored in psych years ago. It is a female dominated major. From classroom discussions 13 years ago, it is NOT a male sensitive arena. I am afraid what counseling they are giving to men in 2023.
im just ready for them to pump the oil so i can quit lol
What scares and bothers me the most about all this, is how I see these dynamics played out in people's interactions with children.
My niece is encouraged every step of the way, everything she does is praised and rewarded. Meanwhile my nephew is constantly ridiculed and judged at every step. My sister-in-law ridiculed him once for the way he was sitting, saying it would "give him hip problems".
I can see the difference in how they are treated coming out in their personalities. My niece is brave and fearless, she's excited and moves about the world with confidence already at only 4 years old. Meanwhile my nephew who is 7 is shy, fearful, and constantly seeking permission from others for every step he takes. It is absolutely infuriating to see. I do my best to combat this, but I can only do so much.
I saw this exact same scenario play out in a former relationship I had with a woman who had two young children, male and female. Infuriating to watch this happen to boys from the very start.
Men are divided, scattered, and leaderless.
I find the greatest purpose in being the one who pulls friends and acquaintances together, who gathers new people into a cohesive group.
I push my male AND female friends to do group activities, to connect, and to talk about what is really going on in their lives, and how they feel about it.
I’ve got many great female friends that aren’t afraid of men like so many women today. These girls (24-30) love hanging out, touching us, being vulnerable with us, and they trust us.
But…before openly being part of our group, my female friends had no idea how poorly men were doing. They never stopped to think about it because the world has been pushing female empowerment for so long. They were so worried about their own race for success that they never stopped to look around them and see they had left the men behind.
Even my (very conservative) female friends drank at least some of the empowerment koolaid. Many regret getting their degrees in post-graduate education and would rather have had looked for a man to start a family with.
Great video. The expectation in society for men to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and go it alone is so toxic. It creates loneliness and the feeling of “it’s your own fault“. We’re in a complicated time where there’s still a ton of complicated older men with problematic values in positions of power in politics, big companies, so the prevailing feeling in society will not be “aww, poor men”. But this leads to the next generation feeling unsupported and isolated.
We need to open up the conversation to that truth and that’s why I so appreciate your work, Connor! Yes, men can do better than we’ve done in the past, I see emotional disconnection everywhere leading to disastrous relationships. So laying out a quest for “being a better man while still being ok with being a man and embracing your masculinity” is the only path forward and your channel does amazing work promoting that idea
I’m female. Graduated 30 years ago. Have a masters. My husband was a traded guy. He passed. My current bf is in trades. Issue is more from man re education difference. I see them as highly intelligent and offering info I don’t have.
I just recently contacted my local lodge. I really need this at this time and point in my life. When the world wants to make you a weaker man become a better man!
When we started becoming accepting of single motherhood, we started to see the swift decline in men. Because women say one thing and mean another. So they raise their sons to be good boys, never realizing that they stay boys because their mothers take the fight out of them. It's unreal the difference between watching young kids who are raised in a nuclear family vs ones raised by their mothers. The boys raised in nuclear families are always much more confident, stronger and know how to do more. Where as most of the boys I have come across raised by single moms spend most of their free time on their tablets when they get home from school.
Check this out. I have a relative who got with a guy. They have a son. He is 7 now. The whole relatiomship, this guy could barely show up. This woman tried. She even made the plans for when theyd visit his grandma. Then are separate now, but she had the kid more than him. He has time to pick the kid up from school and hang out with him and teach him to ride a bike. He doesnt WANT to spend time w his kid.
@@deirdremorris9234 Yep, because guess what? That woman, like so many countless other women, decided to pick a jerk because women like jerks. So what do you expect a jerk to act like? A fantastic strong father figure type of guy? Or a jerk who only cares about himself? There's a reason that for virtually ALL of human history across ALL cultures, the fathers would pick the husbands for their daughters. Because women don't pick good men.
Great discussion topic - very deep dive. You’re spot on about everything said here. As a Black male, I’ve never directly taken a moment to wonder how many Black male therapists there are out there. Ironically, becoming a Counselor of some capacity has been a goal of mine and it would be an honor to one day join into that industry for those who would feel most comfortable with a Black male Therapist. I enjoyed this videos and some others from your channel - keep it up Brother.
What is a friend? For me a friend is someone that can be talking about anything and I enjoy the way it comes out.
Yes bartering our authenticity is rough. When men have to “tool up” and barter our potential for security, things get ugly. Potential is showing capacity, so when there is no cushion for thinking out loud, or marshalling resources, or acquiescence, men decline.
I’m speaking from Brazil, I see the same things happening here.
This is pretty spot on
Great insight that men need to be directly needed. Indirect maintenance instead of problem solving isn’t enough.
Men arenot vacant. Men are excluded.
100%
Say it out Loud 💯
Male 34. I found Kevin Samuels a few years ago he's my hero. Everything he teaches and the example he set is GOLD. I consider myself really fortunate to have access to his information it's like a massive upgrade to my understanding, my psychology. I celebrate and cultivate my masculinity I'm not hearing anyone tell me that's wrong.. Samuels spoke a lot about the black community but his teachings are inclusive. Use the interweb to your advantage, Jocko, Rich Cooper, Chomsky are a very honorable mentions. Cheers
I understand that it's rough out there, and I truly feel sorry for anyone who is unemployed and sincerely seeking work but is having trouble finding it. However, if you are unemployed, and you aren't even looking, then you need to get your ass out there and start. Giving up won't bring back your self-respect and confidence. Action will. If you don't have any marketable skills then you need to figure out a way get them. You don't necessarily have to go it it alone, but in the end it is you that needs to do the work. And another thing. Ignore all the shit talking...that goes for both sides. Don't ever let anyone else but you determine your worth as a man.
men and specifically women define masculinity based on a man's height. even if we had male mentors, this would not solve the problem
I think that it's generally good for women to say that they value certain characteristics in men, or what their definition of a good man is, and vice versa for men.... But i apsolutely agree that we need a balanced perspective and the biggest problem with this is, the narrative is mostly spread by *feminist* women in particular, as they tend to be louder and have more social media and media presence.
Great video as usual :)
You are a really good speaker, thanks for putting my thoughts into words.
This is the first video I watched by you. Excellent man. Well thought out. I like the term you use as well of Male Vacancy.
True, at the end of my college days I was considering becoming a teacher. But the culture of the teaching world was not kind to me, so I left.
That's too bad😢😢😢
Most teachers are women go figure
TW for survivors below: There’s a lot to be said here, first off the reason the Boy Scouts don’t exist anymore outside of the pandemic was due to the rampant sexual assault that happened and usually at the hands of other men that these young boys looked up to. They also need help and healing. It’s sad, young boys should have a space where they are free to explore and get in touch with both their masculine and feminine sides, not only to be better partners and friends, but better people and inspirational to other men! It takes a community!
As a college graduate, while my financial prospects are a lot better than those with only a high school diploma, I will say that it was still hard. The rents in my city gradually went up as I got my first apartment…but I was back at home for nearly two years and working. We need to acknowledge that the average rent for just even a basic studio apartment is ridiculous everywhere. And with jobs that do not pay much to cover basic necessities.
A lot of men struggle to take care of themselves due to their lack of internal willpower, I know this…because I've been there. And you can get out of it, it takes time.
I will strongly disagree that sharing your opinions in college will get you cancelled 😂 You are entitled to say what you want, but if it's rooted in hate and malevolence, then don't be surprised when no one wants to be around you.
I hope more dudes find their way and one free of toxic traits.
Why have I heard of male college students getting poor grades When they express their opinions to a feminist teacher?
@@kenandrieling5885 if being racist is your thing, then you deserve to get a bad grade have a good one
Great video. This is my first time commenting. I like the solution you offered it makes sense. I would suggest that emotional intelligence is being current with your feelings, then offering a better feeling thought to progress.
Interesting - I've been developing and delivering a mentoring youth program in the UK - for groups of ten kids in schools. It's separated into boys and girls groups... For 11 year olds it has been a bit wild to see how much more advanced girls communication skills are and how easily they picked up the things I would teach.. boys mostly want to run around and have fun..That's just on the developmental speed point.
This guy acts like men are just waiting in the wings to help other men. Nope. Men either will sink or swim, its just the way it works. Todays culture just applifies it all. The sooner a man figures it out the better. I try to train guys at work, they arent interested, many times see me in their way of advancement. Or they rat me out with false claims.
I'm not saying every man is waiting in the wings to help, I'm saying the notion that you're in it alone is BS. Even you're describing how you try to help the men you work with. Just looks different. Either way, appreciate your take
Great video man !
One thing that I thought of is that the definition of Willingness is “prepared to do something” so when men are clingy, poor and pure, coerced, neglected, sloth, staunch and taken aback, they are not prepared to do something(unwilling). Men get willing when a statistical probability meets with a well planned strategy, when we can clear and clean the slate, when we are effective, equanimous, and foster a peaceful encounter.
Men are finding their place here.
I mean it is largely feminism that is causing this.
Excellent discussion & clear carryover Mate.
FYI: It appears your audio is slightly off from your visual effects. I would be interested in giving toward your work if helps your channel in this regard.
Europe: It would be nice if you related your views to what was going on in other countries besides America. There is a tendency to assume that what is going on in America generalises across Europe for example. However, some context about Britain, Scandinavia, Europe etc would be beneficial to your approach I think.
People talk about men growing up in a house without a dad. Why not talk about those men who never grew up without a mother figure?
Less common statistically, but likely equally important. What aspects of this (men growing up without a mother) do you think should be added to the conversation?
For instance, when they get into a relationship with a woman, they don't know how to give that kind of love because they feel unloved despite success in life. Nowadays they are also in a dilemma to choose what they know from what they are told by society and the media.@@ManTalks
Has anyone reached out to some of the newly transitioned trans males to see if any are available to teach boys how to become men? They literally have become men no different then our grandfathers and fathers in society.
I think its good because it will show that we need men.
They won't ever admit that though. Any issues that are caused by a lack of participation by men will just be explained away with some other reason. A lot of people are just programmed to think men aren't needed in most situations.
@Nick-tm2sw exactly but they will still have to do something about it. This is why.i support passport bros because they are terrifying the government leaving with their assets and building up rival countries with their money. Sure they may try to ban travel for men but they cant force marriage. The government needs men to make babies and families. Laws are changing at least in Florida and Virginia (or Tennessee) divorce and alimony laws are changing.
Unbelievable video where he just lists problems like no male spaces..who attacking those things? 🤔 why is there no male only boy scouts? Dont you dare try to understand the reason, just wonder aimlessly
Exactly what I was thinking
About 50% of your sentences was hedging language. You’re were so defensive. Dude.