I am not Catholic (yet? But thinking seriously about it) I just want to say Fr Gregory Pine speaks incredibly well, and I appreciate his ability to convey the gravity of something while Being encouraging and kind.
My friend, the greatest and most special grace our Lord Jesus Christ ever gave me was calling me home to His holy Catholic Church after a life outside of it. I encourage you to learn about Catholicism as much as possible and consider its tenets without bias-I think you may find how convincing they are. May Christ’s peace be with you.
My brother divorced and got married a second time outside the Church. I didn't attend this wedding. I told him: "I don't want to participate in ceremony which celebrates your decision to live in the state of mortal sin.I care more about your eternal hapiness than the temporary one." I don't feel it's a jugement or insult, it's an act of love. He respected my decision. I fast and pray for him a lot...
I have to agree with Agnieszka. The persons marrying are tacitly (or openly) declaring their rejection of the Church, the sacrament, and Jesus Christ. How can a faithful Catholic possibly attend such an event?
Jesus’s message was that when you position yourself as the judge of others because they are breaking this law or that law, you are a hypocrite, because YOU are a sinner.
My non practicing daughter got married to another no practicing Catholic this past June. My family (household) attended. We are the only Catholics in her life (other than grandparents). She and I have always had a very very strained relationship because of our differences in beliefs. We went because not going would have severed our relationship completely and she would have associated our not going as another thing hateful Catholics do. I didn't like it but I truly prayed and talked to more than one priest about it. I firmly believe she has married another Catholic because they will eventually come back to the Church. Mary let it be known to me during a 54 day novena 5 years ago that she would.
We are hateful to them because the world hates us. It is so difficult for you. I hope and pray that your daughter and her husband will eventually see where you stand but from a human perspective that will be next to impossible because the forces in the world make Catholics look bad. But for God nothing is impossible.
I know you wrote this a long time ago, but FWIW my husband and I were both non practicing Catholics for 10 YEARS, married outside the church and had it validated as we are reverting now. I think you made the right decision!
An articulate, informative, enlightened, discourse, given with love and respect for our ability to discern truth and make choices based on our spiritual priorities. It is far easier to say, "Father told me to do thus and such," than it is to accept responsibility for thinking things through and accepting responsibility for choosing or rejecting God's will. Teaching his child to think vs giving an easy out takes more time, but is what a "good" father does for a child he loves. Thank you for your time and instruction Father Pine.
Serious question: As a christian, how can you be happy and not depressed while simultaneously believing that people are suffering incomparable indescribable torment forever in Hell? I very anxiously await your answer.
@@michaelflores9220 Life has natural consequences I would not wish on anyone. Free will exists for all of us and God will not take that from us. Those that choose to reject God and don't want God in their life choose the consequences of that choice. I pray for them and do not rejoice in their choice. That does not mean I can't rejoice in the good that comes to me. God is far above me in power and pay grade, and has a plan for every persons salvation. If on judgement day individuals have refused God then that is their use of free will. No parent wills that their child does evil, but each child has free will and at some point as an adult they accept responsibility for adult actions. Does not mean I approve or agree with their choices and does not mean I don't love them. It also does not mean I have no right to feel sunshine, taste food, or accept the benefit of good choices I make. I would be even more joyful if every human ever created chose God and worshiped Him in heaven. I am limited, I don't make all the rules. God is limitless, is love, and does not choose evil or the consequences of evil. He forgives if we seek Him and ask...If we don't want forgiveness then we reject God, our choice,...life without God is hell. Jesus saves, is the way, truth, and life...I have no such power. Since the number of theology classes I have had is zero I would guess that a priest would have a more articulate, intelligent answer, but I gave you my best shot. God bless and keep you brother.
Without any theology classes (after 1970’s most were rubbish anyway-unless clearly Traditional Roman Catholic) you learned everything needed to communicate the truth of our Faith, backed up what Jesus said in the Bible, ad well as the doctrines, dogmas & traditions for 2000 years from all that followed- the Apostles the Church Fathers, the Popes the Saints the Teachings from the many Councils- Nicea & Trent most notably- don’t ever sell yourself as a valuable, treasured and loved by God evangelist. It takes courage and you got what it takes!
Please continue to introduce yourself at the beginning. My first time hearing you Father. Charity is not always seen as a pleasant action in our fallen lives. Thank you and God bless you Father.
Father, thank you for putting words and reason to a very complex thought process. I will learn from it and use it in the future. Some of these situations are even more complex than you describe. I sometimes think that we do more harm abandoning people by not attending something like this, and also think that showing up there clearly does not mean that we support or condone something, even if other, casual attendees infer that we do. These are the nuanced shades of situations where even learned priests differ in opinion. I have asked for and received different advice than what you delineate here from a very intelligent, educated, and excellent priest, pastor of my church, whom I respect a great deal. Our intent matters also, both in the eyes of the church and in the eyes of Christ. I think..... Thank you again for making me think.
Great video! It would be nice if you gave some more examples of specific situations where you think it would and wouldn't be okay to attend a marriage. Maybe do a part 2 of this video explaining different situations and then talking about your thought process in discerning the right decision.
I went to a "catholic wedding" at a Catholic Church of some friends that are not practicing catholics, when the husband entered they played a star wars song, so I took my family and left.
@@AD-in6qp I am not surprised anymore, that's why I became a traditional catholic, I encountered too many crazy things (I live in Chile South America BTW)
@@ellem6050 atleast there's some good coming out of it. Atleast it's better than a civil union. Atleast they bothered to get to a church. Maybe that's y priests don't refuse such people.
@@joeypuvel1228 Exactly. To his amazement, I applauded my atheist friend because he didn't succumb to the pressure of his christian surrounding and got married in the church.
How is formication not as gravely immoral as homosexual sex? If you attended and approve of the pseudo-wedding of two people who are officially deciding to live together with no sacramental blessing, how are you not objectively causing scandal? There might be gray areas, however, I would think this is pretty cut and dry. I met a young girl who said (of her “wedding”) “everyone came. They didn’t say anything.” Now, she’s stuck in a non sacramental marriage with an irreligious man who physically removed her and her daughter from mass. I had almost convinced her to talk to her “husband” about a marriage blessing as she thought he was softening to her, and the new priest has ignored the situation and is giving her communion. Do you see the messiness? “No one said anything and everyone came.” And now she thinks everything is fine. No blessing needed. Receiving communion and the approval of the priest. My rule of thumb: If God isn’t invited to the wedding than neither am I. He’s my friend and I care about situations where He’s offended. My not attending may be the prick of their conscious that leads them to repentance down the road.
Homosexual acts and fornication are both sins but not the same. Fornication can produce a child, Homosexual acts cannot produce a child. In parts of Africa Homosexuals acts lead to instant lynching and death of the individual. Homosexual acts are unnatural, while fornication is natural.
My really close friend is wedding a non catholic outside the church and she asked me to be her maid of honor. Phew ! It was tough saying no. I did so in the most polite way possible, I call her sometimes..... the friendship is not the same
There are a lot of reasons why people will decline coming to a wedding, and most reasons are accepted; but when faith is involved, there always seems to be a rift. It's really sad.!
The purpose of this video is to explain principles of moral Theology as taught by the Church so that one can apply them to better think through particular scenarios. Rather than attacking the messenger (Fr. Pine) or this channel, it seems more reasonable and charitable to examine the principles he’s teaching. If you disagree with a certain principle, then you have something concrete and foundational to discuss/ argue charitably about.
Absolutely right. Catholics who reject even one article of the faith have no faith, nor the theological virtue of charity. That's why they start freaking out every time you disagree with them.
Serious question: As a christian, how can you be happy and not depressed while simultaneously believing that people are suffering incomparable indescribable torment forever in Hell? I very anxiously await your answer.
@@michaelflores9220 because souls in hell have chosen their own eternal damnation and aren't contrite or repentant (for in hell there is no repentance). We too deserve eternity in hell but God, righteous and merciful as He is, sent us His only Son so us who choose Him don't have to suffer in hell. Rather than despairing over the souls that suffer their just punishment, we rejoice in God's mercy and pray efficaciously for those souls for whom there is hope, so as many souls as possible may rejoice in eternal bliss with God, our joy. I hope this helps you at least a little. God bless! ❤️
@@yeahssir Various Bible passages, especially Luke 13:24-27, make it clear hell is something imposed externally by Jesus, and that those in Hell want to go to Heaven.
@@michaelflores9220 but do you not see that it's their own choices that got them there? Jesus does not shut out the truly righteous! The agony they suffer they may want not to suffer, but in hell they still loathe God and are not repentant of their sins. They become like the fallen angels: miserable and hate-filled.
My brother got married by the courts and later had it blessed in the Church. They divorced and he married another woman in the Lutheran church. I didn't attend that wedding. I was the only sibling not to attend.
I try to lead by example. My kids know their Catholic faith but have chosen not to practise it. By having them watch me continuing to be a faithful Catholic as well as always loving towards them, I hope that one day they will return to the Church. If I was punitive in my behaviours, I would lose them forever. I would not attend a same sex union/secular marriage though or endorse an abortion. Both my kids know my thoughts absolutely on these. To give you an example of a small glimmer. I was sorting out the house and came across my daughter's Rosary she had as a child. I asked her if she wanted me to donate it to our Church and was surprised by (and thrilled by) her reaction. She asked me to hang on to it. When I pray the Rosary, I always ask that she will ask me for hers one day.
I attended my son’s wedding to a methodis woman on the beach 🏖Both doesn’t practice their Faith .. keep praying unceasingly everyday for both of them 📿🙏
I would reckon a majority of catholic weddings INSIDE the Church will have the bride or groom (or both) be Catholic in name only, such as they were baptized or they were sent for confirmation as a teenager or raised in a Catholic family, but they don't practice as an adult. These people think it would be "nice" to be married in the church for legitimization or they do it to make the family happy. Is it OK to attend these weddings? Are they legitimate? Do they receive the full blessing and sacrament regardless of their true heart and intentions?
God should be everyone's first choice and priority not your son, daughter, father, or mother who you know is sinning against God and his Holy Church that's why we have 7 sacraments and marriage is one of them
Great explanation--I declined to attend a granddaughters outdoor wedding under the trees officiated by some guy in a green suit even after being specifically invited and I told her why but I did give her a present of a clock I had made. It was a hard decision but I am glad I did so even though the relationship has cooled. I personally did not want to become complicit in an act that gave any approval of her lack of faith and baptism and I do not think she will ever forget my decision which I hopefully believe someday will help bring her back the Faith.
What a cold thing to do. Hopefully your granddaughter receives the love and affirmation she deserves from other members of her family because she's most definitely not getting it from you.
@@benmitchell1747 It's called LOVE. When you love someone you don't just give them what they want, especially if you are their father. I have to say "no" to my children all the time, not because I am cold-hearted, but because I want the best for them. When my children make a bad decision, rather than encouraging them to make them feel good about themselves, I tell them they have done wrong. They know I will always give the the hard, cold truth. There can be no love in a lie.
@@christopherfleming7505 You can't compare this situation of a man not going to an outdoor wedding to your kids misbehaving. With that train of thought you can excuse almost anything. If your defense of a cold-hearted act rest solely on comparing it to something else, maybe your decision wasn't done out of LOVE, maybe you just want to excuse doing something you know in your heart is hurtful.
I am one such example. My mother went but my father didn’t. In hindsight, the seeds planted that day haven’t had a visible effect. I am pursuing my Catholic faith again but not out of a sense of duty to my parents but because it’s my choice. My father not being there for me in spite of my lapse has always been a bit of a struggle for myself and especially for my spouse. I have and still do give my father’s choice the benefit of the doubt. Maybe there was some significant importance to his choice, but to this day I haven’t seen the fruits he planted. My journey back to the Church has long been out of my mind because of my parents portrayal of the Catholic faith. Catholicism itself became their primary focus rather than being a living example of their faith. Had they said their peace but still love me and supported my marriage there is a very good chance I would have returned to the Church years sooner.
I like how Father Gregory didn't say a firm "yes" or "no," because it really does vary case by case. For example, if 1 or both persons were baptized Catholic but weren't raised in the faith and know little to nothing about it, how can one blame them for marrying outside the Church? They weren't taught any better! If anything, maintaining your relationship with them gives them a better chance of discovering the faith than the alternative. Now, 1 or 2 persons who were raised Catholic but decided not to have a Catholic wedding? I see that as totally different because in that case, they SHOULD know better. And they should also understand why you cannot attend. Not attending in that case may very well serve as a wake up call to them. And if it doesn't, maybe it will years later, who knows.
Coming from a large extended family with lives that are very challenging. I am thinking of one that was a civil service because a baby was on the way. She was Catholic young and the Pastor refused to marry them because too young. They would have married in the church. Looking back on it it right to attend and the pastor was also right. I believe in providence which is still working itself out
A good summary; he doesn’t give cut-and-dry “You can’t go”. Basic principles: “The glory of God and the salvation of souls” via Love, Witness, Conversion esp. of those present. A too-frequent scenario in today's secular culture: one or both members of couple don't even know they were baptized Catholic.
Genuine question from someone trying to learn the Catholic faith: How can someone "retreat from their baptismal promises" if they were baptized as an infant? An infant cannot consent or agree with any particular doctrines, nor make a commitment to living a certain way?
Well, let's ask this question in regards to the commandment of honoring your parents. A baby never made a choice to be born to those parents or even be born at all, and yet, God expects us to fulfill our duties to our parents. Each of our parents acted in such a way that cooperated with God by means of the procreative act, but never consulted us about it. Still, we have an obligation to our parents. Similairly, our parents may have presented us for Baptism while we were only infants, but we still have a responsibility as we grow up to fulfill our duties as baptized members of Christ's body. God is our Heavenly Father. Similairly to how one cannot stop being their parents' son or daughter, they cannot erase their baptism. People receive responsibility in life, whether requested or not, and must do their best to fulfill such obligations. I hope that helps.
In the Latin rite we have infant baptism, but confirmation at a later age when people know what they are doing. In the Byzantine rite they have infant baptism immediately followed by infant chrismation. In the past Popes have ordered Eastern churches to delay chrismation.
Think of it like citizenship. Citizenship for heaven. If a whole family immigrates and takes new citizenship, the baby had no choice in the matter. Yet, if that baby grows up to be someone who commits treason against his nation, the fact that he had no choice in being a citizen does not excuse him from the crime.
Things like this exemplify some hurdles I have with the Church and it's teachings. I have attended weddings that fall under this category and have offered support to others. The story of my own life and all of my family seem to be in opposition to the Church's teaching but yet those in my family have seemed to find happiness, raised children, and otherwise have met their obligations as far as being parents and adults. I cannot for whatever reason feel comfortable thinking I know how life should be lived and families be structured when my own does not fit that mold. My parents were not married in the Church, I was conceived out of wedlock, but my mom hade baptized as what of any Catholicism I bring to the table is from my mom, from the Philippines. I didn't attend Mass as a child, probably only attended 5 or so times before becoming an adult. I am trying to be the best Catholic that I can. Must I look at my family and it's history as disordered and wrong, against God's will? These are the people that raised me and have loved me the most. Even my grandparents engaged in adultery and multiple marriages. Sure, there are scars that have healed slowly, and I guess one could argue that if my family were devoutly Catholic, these situations could be avoided, but I love my family. There have been times where I have upset some members of my family when I have expressed concern regarding their world views or their actions, but again my point is this is the family I have. I even have atheist friends who have accomplished the same things, raised wonderful families and loving marriages. Sometimes the Church's teachings seem to work only in a perfect world. Even when trying to live the faith to the best of my abilities l, receiving the sacraments, accepting God's grace, I'm still troubled because I'm the only one attending Mass etc. It seems fitting that it eventually leads to despair, not feeling adequate to even call myself Catholic, and it becomes a vicious cycle. What about my mental illness and learned negative behaviors? I feel I have improved in some areas in how I live my life, but then again, knowing I have fallen short of the Church's teachings and knowing I have a long road ahead to improve, I sometimes worry when my earthly life is over I will not obtain the beatific vision. Alas, I have yet to find answers to these questions, and when bringing them up to those who I trust to help, it's as if their answers have an overtone of, "You ought to know better, Hell is a choice you make, etc". Sorry for the rambling, but these are some hurdles I still have.
In my high school days, I was a lapsed Catholic Christian. And why? Because when I was in high school, I didn’t make the Catholic Christian faith my number one priority and I was too busy with school activities including schoolwork and homework. So yes I was a lapsed Catholic but then two friends of mine who went to the same high school gave me to the opportunity to attend their Catholic Church. At first I had no interest of going but after my mom heard, she encouraged me to attend every weekend. And then in the early spring of 2010, I decided to make a sincere commitment to the Catholic Christian church and make my confirmation. And I did it on Easter Vigil 2010. Now as a sincere practicing Catholic Christian, I take the faith very seriously and I’m a Knight of Columbus.
Thats why we need to pray for our priests, because they're afraid to preach the truth. " I'm not going to tell you to go or not to go. " What kind of answer is that.
My cousin was married in a Catholic Church to another Catholic. I was in the wedding party. At least 50 other people witnessed the marriage. Over twenty years & two children later, she decided to divorce him. Then she had that marriage “annulled “ & remarried another Catholic in a Catholic Church. I refused to go. I was the only one in my family to do so. My reasoning is that if her first marriage never actually took place, then how do we know if anyone is actually married?? It was a clear case of Catholic divorce & remarriage. As far as other “weddings “ if they aren’t my children or close relatives, I would go to a non Catholic wedding, because the large majority of people today simply do not know or could care less what the Catholic Church teaches today. The Church is in such a horrible state today that even the hierarchy including The Pope doesn’t even follow the Traditional teachings of The Faith ! So we expect normal lay people to care ??
Years ago I attended a Catholic wedding, when at the time I was not even a Christian. I was invited by someone who grew up in the church but didn't really seem to be practicing their faith at all (promiscuous for one thing). I understand this is a sacrament, but non-Catholics can attend mass, right? Do we have a belief that having lapsed Catholics attend your wedding will make God angry? This seems superstitious to me (I'm Anglican).
@@pyrovania Are you asking if Catholics believe that inviting a lapsed Catholic to a wedding will make God angry ? If so my answer would be no, we don’t believe that. But if it is a nuptial mass than non Catholics should not receive communion.
@@camovets5719 Whew! The church I go to is the same way, but they give communion to disgruntled Catholics and wandering Orthodox. Slightly less restrictive but the beliefs are about the same.
@@camovets5719 The thing that stood out to me about the ceremony was "this is going to take a long time, so bride and groom, have a seat". Nearly everyone else marries standing up in a ceremony that takes less than an hour =).
I was raised in a strong Catholic family and community, and I’ve been to countless Catholic and many secular weddings. However, I’ve never known anyone who was openly opposed to attending non-Catholic weddings of lapsed Catholics. Maybe some would not, but did not say that was the reason. Those words have never been spoken to me. Frankly, it would be considered dogmatic and intolerant, especially in this day and age. However, even my Grandma, who converted to Catholicism before her wedding in 1940, and my born-Catholic grandfather absolutely attended the weddings of her Protestant and secular friends and family throughout their entire adult lives. This was simply a non-issue. Our focus is on family and community, and with that in mind I would also have concern for the moral consequences of shunning a loved one like that and potentially causing a serious rift. All of that being said, when I actually think about it, I wouldn’t be opposed to this if someone had a genuine moral conviction that prevented them from attending in good faith. But I’d be very wary of sanctimonious refusal in this case.
I’m not sure you understand what’s really being said here. There is a huge difference between two Protestants marrying each other and a Catholic marrying a non-catholic outside the church. The Church teaches in the second scenario, the marriage is not valid (they’re not really getting married).
There is nothing wrong with attending a marriage between two Protestants. It’s when it’s a Catholic and a non Catholic marrying outside the church where things get tricky.
@@Andrew-sj9tr THis kind of logic is what is making me hesitate from converting to Catholicism. Should it not be what you believe in your heart and not church rules? If I am Anglican or Orthodox and take communion in my church, is it not the same Jesus that is present in the eucharist in a Catholic church? I have seen the altar area start glowing during the mass when the priest is up there doing the ( forget the word for it) in a non-Catholic church, but I regularly meet Catholics who will tell you Jesus is only present in a Catholic eucharist and not present in an Anglican or Orthodox eucharist. I have a gift where I can feel if a church is consecrated when I walk in, and I feel a lot of this in some orthodox churches. Just how "only Catholicism is valid" is the Catholic church? Also, I worry about the current Pope being in charge of the liturgy. His views are a bit unconventional. EDIT: it also drives me crazy when I hear evangelicals say that Catholics aren't really Christian. Can't stand the judgy people. They do a lot of damage and they don't even know it most of the time.
@@pyrovania I struggled with similar thoughts as I was converting. One thing that helped me was learning that we, humans, are bound by the sacraments (and other things pertaining to them), but God is not. We need to follow God’s rules, but God is above all rules for he is pure goodness in his nature. So could he give a special grace to an Anglican priest to transubstantiate true Eucharist? Yes. But, we can’t break God’s rules and expect that he will give someone who hasn’t truly been given holy orders (Anglicans can’t trace apostolic succession, so their priesthood is not valid) the privilege of confecting Eucharist? As an aside, Catholics believe that the Orthodox Church does have a valid priesthood and therefore valid Eucharist.
Follow the Scriptures faithfully and the need to not become complicit in rebellion make it simple. This is not judging the person but the act. Being a 'cafeteria' Catholic is not the path to salvation.
As a non native English speaker I find it quite a good listening exercise hearing father Gregory but I love that he doesn't dumb down or synthesize what he explains and I learn a lot everytime he finishes a sentence even if that means jumping from one idea to another in less than 5 seconds lol. Now the curious thing is that I was wandering about this topic since I attended a protestant wedding of one of my nieces who's father (my cousin) change his religion from catholic to protestant thanks to his wife's efforts.
Father, you didn't directly answer the question. It isnt for us to discern the right or wrong course. The church teaching is if baptized catholics marry outside the church, there is no marriage and they live as fornicators. Attending such an event gives our okay to the event and we partake in the sin.
Draw a line in the sand and don’t cross it. Stop playing next to the slippery slope. Stop giving room for sin to enter your life. God’s law is not on a scale, it is absolute, and it is unchanged.
My sister-in-law who was baptized Catholic and is now a Methodist was living with her boyfriend and recently got married in a Methodist ceremony at the lake. The reason why I attended was to affirm a STEP on the right path. Sometimes conversion is incremental. At some point I hope she (and he), by God's grace, will return to the Sacraments and get married in the Catholic Church.
@@lilyw.719 Wow. You really didn't even listen to Fr. Pine did you? Did he say it was always a sin to attend? Nope. I don't know your heart, but I think you lack charity in your comments.
Don't stop praying for them Mark! My husband and I are both converts from the Methodist church. There is hope. And we got married outdoors as well, sadly.
What's the correct pastoral response to this situation? We can all evaluate that for ourselves. I can say that for me, if I have a genuine friendship with the person getting married, if I've been privileged to have extended to me an invitation and I know that my presence would be meaningful to my friend, then I will attend the wedding and will do so with good and clear conscience.
I am always impressed with the wisdom of someone younger than myself like a priest or a very knowledgable practicing Catholic. I understand that they have been to 6+ years of seminary but it's still impressive.
Perhaps a more salient question would be this... and it is never addressed by the Church..... why do people (like me) brought up in the Church decide to abandon it? In my case it was because of the abuse I suffered at the hands of priests and nuns during my time as a child... secondly the only love and kindness I ever saw in my local Church was the lovely old lady who used to come and clean the place. She was full of love and kindness - the clergy were NOT. They could not get their minds above their navels when it came to supposed sin, and were always after money.
Those are emotional arguments that, while horrible that you underwent such abuse, has no bearing on the truth of the Catholic Church itself, that it is the body of Christ... The, now adult, man who was abused, as a young boy into his teenaged years, by former cardinal McCarrick, is still a practicing Catholic to this day, even though he underwent such abuse...
@@csongorarpad4670 I think the abused would feel more supported, and this goes for both sex abuse and physical abuse, if the abuser was held accountable and the victim was protected from the abuser. If you did that, the abused would not feel so betrayed.
@@pyrovania Well, that is obviously the case... and that also does happen all throughout the Church at the same time that many other victims have been ignored and neglected. So if your point is that the abused should be supported and helped by their brothers and sisters in Christ then the answer is obviously "of course!"
My family attended both weddings of our cousins who were lapsed. I considered their ignorance of the importance of the faith and how they were raised to be important factors in deliberation.
This was such an amazingly explained video! Wish I had this back in August. My entire family is practicing Catholic except a few and my randomly Jewish aunt. Non practicing Catholic cousin got married on a farm to non catholic and my whole immediate family did not attend. To me it was black and white. The rest of the relatives had a hard time understanding and caused a bunch of on going drama. My aunt would not leave my mom alone about it and caused so much chaos and gossip. It created a weird riff on my moms side of the family for a while, still nobody understands, but they don’t talk about it anymore thankfully. My poor mother really got the heat of it all.
So much trying to not offend anyone,God is offened already on these acts. Dont want to severe the relationship,the relationship has been severed by the person performing the evil act. Of course we don't judge,but don't put me in a position to have to protect the glory and goodness of God and his Church.
I was one of those lapsed Catholics married in my family church. I almost did not want to do it, but I wanted to honor my family. My husband was pretty much against it. And, most people would probably tell me it wasn't a sacramental marriage. Looking at it, I see that vow I made before God and family as binding and permanent. It took years of wandering in the desert to find my way home. I feel like those vows were what kept me anchored in the storm. Today I am a fully practicing Catholic and I thank God for never letting me go through it all. Go to the weddings. Pray blessings upon them. Pray a novena for them before the wedding. Pray a rosary and divine mercy for them.. Too many people today never receive a prayer or a blessing from anyone. If you can't do that, pray this powerful little prayer for them: "Lord Jesus give to them whatever the Blessed Virgin Mary is asking for them." Recently a couple got married at a weekday mass. It was beautiful. To me this couple had the best wedding I've ever attended. I was there just to attend mass. I offered the mass for them, I prayed over them and I imagine everyone else did too. It really showed to me that the church is our true family. Priests should encourage more couples to do this.
I am a lapsed Catholic (although almost back practicing fully) and am dating a fully non-believing and non-practicing catholic. We are considering marriage. She is more than OK with marrying in the Catholic church if it makes me happy. My question to you is how is the marriage affected? Is your husband still non-practicing? Are you really a fully practicing catholic, no contraception, no attending gay marriages, pray even when you're not in church, etc etc? If so, how does it affect your marriage? Do you ever wish your husband was fully practicing, if he isn't already? Do you think you would be happier and your marriage stronger/easier? Thanks in advance
@@cwebbwash3 all good things to consider. Since you are going into the marriage as a practicing Catholic, it is different I think. Marriage prep classes should help you some. But, do not expect them to change. And, do not expect that they will accept your level of faith. My husband does not like that I practice my faith. He belittled everything and hates that I'm not the same person after 30 years of marriage. I'm sad that he still is. But that's his choice. So I pray daily and consecrate him to the Immaculate Heart of Mary. Jesus has told me there is nothing I can do to convert him except to pray. Someone else will do that. He has finally stopped grumbling about my statues, crosses, etc. Bless your house. Sprinkle blessed salt and holy water. Consecrate yourself to the Sacred heart of Jesus, the Immaculate Heart of Mary and the Chaste Heart of St Joseph. Surround yourself with the Holy Family. I have mini nativity sets in every room of my house. Perhaps this is your cross to bear to save her soul. But, that's a conversation to have with Jesus at adoration. Or maybe you will never know why you are to marry this woman until you both get to heaven. Here's a prayer for you: Jesus I trust in you. Take care of everything. Jesus I rest in you. Take care of everything. Jesus I surrender myself to you. Take care of everything. Dear God, thank you for everything.
@@LisaKnobel God makes straight with our crooked paths. Im glad you returned to the faith. At the same time we need to trust the Church in its wisdom when it speaks strongly against mixed marriages. Your case is different because both of you didn't believe but anyone considering marrying a non believer should be discouraged from doing so because it is unlikely God's will. Sure they might convert but they could also could ruin your salvation. Really careful discernment should happen before a decision is made.
@@cwebbwash3my wife is a non practicing Catholic and I stopped trying to convert her, consecrate yourself to Jesus through Mary, to St. Joseph and pray the Rosary every day, wear the Brown Scapular and Miraculous Medal and plant medals around your home and pray pray pray, pray the 54 Day Rosary Novena and pray the whole Rosary daily. God love you, brother. I hope some of my merits will go to your intentions.
My husband was completely unaffiliated with any religion and had not even been baptized when we met He was also divorced He went through RCIA on his own choosing and he also received the Pauline Privilege saying that no sacrament took place in his first marriage since neither one was married and a JP officiated their wedding I told him before we got married, “Since I’m Catholic we believe in only taking one trip down the aisle. Are you sure you want to marry me?” 25 years later and I think it’s the best decision he ever made
Every “marriage” involving at least one catholic that takes place outside the Catholic Church is an INVALID marriage. The only exceptions would be if the bishop gave a dispensation from canonical form or if they married in the Orthodox Church. I respect Fr Pine, but I find it shocking that his moral analysis did not include this indisputable fact. To attend an invalid marriage is to stand in praise of an invalid marriage, and this is wrong (it is the same as standing in praise of a state of cohabitation and fornication). I feel terrible for how commonly this situation affects relationships, but the truth is the truth.
^saying YES without saying YES. I think if it’s your child or brother/sister, and not attending could destroy the relationship, then maybe you need to go. And keep praying for them.
Attending the wedding is an act of love. The witness of your love may encourage the couple to return to the faith someday. Not attending will only harden their hearts against the faith and confirm their initial rejection. We won't bring people to Christ by acting like lawyers and judges.
@@bbseal6174 I would attend so they might feel my love and caring for them for the persons they are...and not on my verdict regarding their decision..my hope that by experiencing my love and care, they may be more likely to return to the faith through good relationships being maintained. God asks us to love and leave the judging to him
@@bbseal6174 thank you for your courteous reply. I rarely comment, but your saying that love is willing the good of the other is just so true, that I attempted to convey how attending might promote that good will in relationship that keeps open the door to that ultimate good, which is what I think you may be referring too.
You're not necessarily right. Padre Pio is a great example of this in how he severely admonishdd people who came to him for confession and he could see in their soul (a gift from God) that they were not wholly ashamed nor seeking forgiveness for their sins. So Padre Pio told them to leave, harshly and it was because of this that, they returned at a later time, thanking him (Padre Pio) for being a wake-up call for them to take their faith, sins and confession seriously... they returned to the faith BECAUSE Padre Pio was harsh. There is nothing about Catholic faith that has anything to do with niceness.
@@pyrovania I suspect it goes very deep to people's core beliefs versus selfishness. People run off and get married like the children they often are without the deep love, commitment and darn well knowing it should be forever so choose carefully! No they don't think about getting old and wiping each other's butts. That's love. That was my parents. Not this oh, things got rocky so I left BS. Forever or do not do it! Yes suffering IS necessary in life.
Our daughter is a lapsed Catholic. Her first marriage was out of state and we didn’t attend. Then they divorced and she married a second time to a non Catholic, but at this time she considered herself an atheist. They got married about 14 years ago at a Vegas chapel, and we did attend. However, I’d been a lapsed Catholic too and had only come back into the Church a few years before. Now I wished I’d had the “guts” to tell her we wouldn’t attend. Her marriage seems happy although I’m always praying for her. I think she’d have been hurt if we didn’t attend, but then again I’d given her a bad example of not being a practicing Catholic, so it might have looked like both me and my husband were being a bit hypocritical . If I had to do this over though, I wouldn’t have attended.
Can someone explain why a baptized catholic marrying outside the Church would not just be in a valid natural marriage, when two pagans get married and there's is considered a valid natural marriage?
This video left me feeling a little bit uncomfortable, and I absolutely love that. I believe that genuine spiritual advice should challenge a Christian, in a loving manner, to live a life worthy of the One who told us that we would have to take up our cross and follow Him. Far too often, I hear advice from Catholic sources that allow me to essentially live completely in line with our post-Christian society. I don’t want to know how I can sneak by, I want to know how to properly discern how to act. I really appreciate these thoughts in this video.
I was advised by my Parish Priest to attend my daughter's wedding in an Anglican Church because everyone knew who I felt and not attending would sever the relationship. Sounds like Fr. might disagree with that decision. In real life it is pretty difficult to cut off a relationship with your children.
I would say that Anglican tradition is very similar to Catholic tradition. Yes I know the history of how Henry the eighth created the Anglican church because the pope wouldn’t grant him a divorce. I know the dark history. At least your daughters wedding was at a church. There is so much more new ones. Right? For instance is your son-in-law a man who honors God and is your daughter the same way? Do they seek virtue and do they want to be righteous? Maybe your daughter will revert or come back to the Catholic Church at some point. It’s a possibility. I think what the answer narrows down to is do you honor the relationship that the bride and groom have and do you have a good relationship with these people already? There’s so much to unpack. They are also Catholic parishes that are part of the Anglican ordinary it. Check it out.
Revelation 3:16 So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. 2 Timothy 4:3 For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions. Matthew 12:30 Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters.
One could say “to attend your wedding would be a mortal sin on my part” and give the reason why. And add “I don’t think you would want me to put my soul in jeopardy, do you?”
From 1983 to 2009, your ecclesial community taught that it was possible to leave by a formal act, thereby removing the requirement to be married according to Catholic rules. The policy was changed in 2010. I guess too many people took them up on it.
If someone is baptized as a baby in the Catholic church, and therefore had no choice in the matter, and ends up not practicing Catholicism at all, but then marries outside the Catholic church, why do we have to condemn that person and even think twice about attending their wedding?
Their parents are at fault for that because they were never taught how important their faith is. Baptism isn't just a ceremony and a BBQ afterward. It's something that should be taken seriously and is the starting point of growing in one's faith.
I'm far from the smartest person in any room but, this is an easy one. Make Christ your priority which might mean going to church twice in a weekend. It might mean going once and attending to something urgent/emergent. Just don't try to bs yourself.
I disagree that being at a wedding means that you support it. My sister got married at 18, right out high school, to a man 3 years older than her that she started dating on and off since the age of 12. My mom felt/knew that this marriage would be a HUGE mistake - and she did the right thing by VOICING THIS directly to my sister. So my sister knew where our mom stood on this matter. It was handled privately, personally, directly, intimately, and with love. But my mom ABSOLUTELY attended and helped with the wedding. Did my sister think that meant she supported the marriage? No. She knew how our mom felt. My mom let other family members know how she felt in the months before the wedding - her worries, her concerns, etc. What my mom did with my sister is the same thing that God does with us. He lets us know what he considers to be sin, but gives us the free will to choose - and he certainly never abandons us, even when he is in disagreement with us. My sister got divorced 4 years later and the FIRST person she ran to was our mom. Why? Because she realized my mom was the only one who loved her deeply enough to be honest with her from the beginning by not supporting the marriage. If my mom didn’t even ATTEND the wedding, and had abandoned my sister during such an important event in her life - I can guarantee you that my sister wouldn’t have run to her during her divorce.
Father Gregory. As a Priest, I understand your analytical/philosophical explanation. But on the other hand, the average person can be even more confused, by your lengthy philosophical dissertation. Please consider, a more concise, less wordy explanation. In other words, keep it simple. Respectfully your brother in Christ. Jessiah
Dear Jessiah I think people's needs are different and some people will be helped by some priests more than others. I guess you need to try out different channels and find the one which is most helpful at this time. I think fathers message on this one was. You can't go to a same sex marriage. Otherwise you need to make a decision on what's best for the souls of all involved and avoiding the occasion of scandal.
@@kwkw5711 well said. Besides, this was a 12 minute video, hardly a dissertation. Fr Pine taught RCIA at my church, and he has never dumbed down his teaching, and I have always appreciated that about him.
So I am not a Catholic but, my fiance is. We are planning to get married next year and we are both divorced. You can guess where this is going. We have both petitioned to have our marriages annulled and, both marriages meet the criteria of being invalid. And as is stated by the church it doesn't create or dissolve marriages, God does that. So if for some reason the annulments are incomplete by the wedding date, we are going to get married regardless. As far as I have reasoned our marriages we're never valid so we are free to marry and that the church requires proof to perform the marriage but, given that our marriages are in fact invalid the marriage we are going to have will be a valid marriage. The church is just taking its sweet time to come to the obvious conclusion. I'm not really asking if I'm right or wrong here honestly, I'm just venting about the annulment process and, questioning the authority the church presumes to have while at the same time stating it has no such authority. If anyone knows whether a marriage was invalid or not it is the participants so by questioning the stated validity by the participants they are in fact questioning our integrity which is an extra bit of insult. That's all.
This is on point for me. I excuse myself for my english but i hope Fr. Gregory or someone can help me. My cousin is getting married soon, they are not "practicing" at all (specially for her family there are atheists and protestants) and others that are "too good people" so they have years without confession. I would like to ask that if i assist (or not, I still don't know) should I talk to the priest about this matters so he knows for the moment he gives the blessed sacrament. This part of my family i'm talking about is known to use to their coinvenience the fact of being baptized catholics (even maybe the wedding itslef, because of the fancy place and preparations and as they are married by civil union and living together already) and i would like to prevent, within my posibilities, sacrilege communions that day, for sake of the Lord and this souls. And to the priest so he invites them to confession and so he knows that the are some that are not in the state of recieving the Lord.
@@apracity7672 it is different for a Protestant and with no disrespect, as unlike Catholics, you do not believe in the real presence of Jesus, Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity, you do not have a Sacrament of marriage, so you have not learned about the sacrament of marriage in the Catholic Church. Hence you can choose to go to weddings in any place.
It seems like you're going to be hated for doing so. Even the priest might be cynical to you (I don't his character, but who knows the possibility) Regardless, it is wise to put God first. If I were you, I would be hiding in my bedroom and die frightened by the prospect, because I'm a coward. I hope you can do better
@@Kitiwake we could assume so, but I think it's wiser to verify that directly by talking to the priest and raise your concern. It's risky, and dangerous. But if we really, really are going to pursue holiness, I think this is the way.
Is Duty Line something that your parish offers or is that a thing offered to anyone? I have never heard of it. Is it like an 800 number. Is it staffed or does the called get voice mail? Something that Catholics need to know is if you are in the hospital you have to call the rectory to have someone visit. The hospital, because of HIPPA laws, is not allowed anymore to give out your name to anyone including a priest.
very clear - a refusal could lead to a rupture in a relationship. Wouldn't my continued presence as a practising Catholic, bearing a constant witness be more salutary than what would certainly be deemed judgmental? Then the 'errant' Catholics will have at least contact with their former faith and more chance of a final return to the Church. Very easy to become judgmental and forget my own daily deviations from the faith. Your explanation is excellent but I am thinking of the plank in my eye,
Mixed religious marriages are the norm now and in the Catholic Church is not recognised as a marriage in the church but is legally binding by state laws that’s why you see a lot of marriages outside the rails as they used to say. Also a lot of Catholics are born Catholics but live there life’s as atheists, so weddings are just ceremonies that are made official by state laws
I wished this helped more. I don't have this problem personally. But my son and his fiancé are facing attending her brother's wedding in a year and a half. She was baptized Catholic but never received any other sacraments. He is practically an atheist now but not quite. Not attending their wedding will not come across to them as a loving thing but as a hateful thing that will likely cause a permanent riff that may even cut off the relationship entirely. And by this logic can Catholics even attend Protestant weddings or other cultural weddings?
I wish that you had been available to advise me 40 years ago. I was told it that if the person has joined another faith tradition then they are no longer Catholic and are free to follow the rules of their new faith. I felt conflicted but there was no one else that felt as I did so I caved in.
Very very confusing. Give us concrete examples of scenarios where a baptized Catholic friend or family member is marrying outside the Church. “Bring the hay down to the goat” :-)
If they're literally getting married outside a catholic church officiated by a priest and followed by a Mass it is not a Catholic Wedding and you shouldn't go. This is what every priest on earth would have told you until about 1965
This is interesting from the point of view of validity. From reading, when a catholic marries in a non catholic ceremony without dispensation, the marriage is invalid - except when marrying an orthodox Christian of the eastern rite. So Catholics who marry orthodox and divorce cannot remarry. Catholics who marry in Jewish secular or Protestant circumstances can. I think also that the catholic view is that the real presence is there in the orthodox liturgy/mass too, because under some circumstances you can take it - ie no Catholic Churches around Would be good to know.
I think that'd not be a problem since people from the orthodox Church are allowed communion within the RCC, if I'm not wrong. Also they are considered apostolic by the church.
@@hobbiton64The Church teaches that if you die in a state of unconfessed mortal sin then you go to Hell. Being apostate can be a mortal sin. (I say 'can' rather than 'is' because of the three conditions for a sin to be mortal.)
@@hobbiton64 The Second Vatican Council teaches that it is possible for someone who has not heard the Gospel to enter Heaven but that it is very difficult. Furthermore, we should never assume that such a person is going to Heaven. So our attitude should be to try to make sure, either by our own efforts or by assisting the efforts of others, that as many people as possible do hear the Gospel.
@@csongorarpad4670 all Catholics should baptize their infants themselves, not making them Catholic but letting their children decide for themselves if they want to be Catholic, when they are much older. This would give their child the right to marry wherever they want and the marriage would be valid. Problem solved
I'm wrestling with the choice of celebrating the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass on a Sunday or attending a Protestants wedding. They are both Protestants and have never been married before. I am close to one of them but the other one I would do for because of my association with the one I am closer to. I told my wife I would not go to the wedding because of my obligation to our Lord but I am afraid that my Protestant friends will not understand.
In two days i recognize my 24th wedding anniversary (thank you, thank you)! As a young adult I rejected religion (after 18 years of Catholicism crammed down my throat) which compelled me to elope sparing my devout family from this wrenching conundrum.
Too much philosophy, not enough human experience. I am divorced but never remarried, because I fully believe that my sacrament was valid and unbreakable. All of my daughters were baptized in the Catholic Church, but were not confirmed. Only one of them has even considered getting married. She's found a loving young man with a strong, supportive, loving but agnostic family, and they are being married in a respectfully solemn civil ceremony. I have explained that her marriage is essentially a civil contract and as such I am willing to be there as mother of the bride as long as the ceremony is not treated as a circus. There are other tales I could tell; showing up despite disagreeing is a better way of loving than creating distance and emotional pain.
Agree. I just went through something similar with my brother. He's no longer a practicing Catholic, but his new wife and their family are practicing evangelical protestant, so a "Bible Church" pastor married them. We attended (my husband was best man, actually), because we knew if we didn't it'd be the end of the relationship and it seemed like it'd make it even less likely he'll eventually come "home." My practicing Catholic parents and siblings made the same call. We pray for them a lot, and I really feel we made the best possible choice we could have.
@@JP2GiannaT I know, I was replying to Jean because she said "showing up despite disagreeing is a better way of loving than creating distance and emotional pain" so I replied with the same sex situation to see if her answer would be the same. Best regards
@@apracity7672 first of all, a "gay marriage" is also a civil contract because of how the government is going to deal with property rights, healthcare, and yes, child custody. There are a whole lot of non-sacramental marriages in the world, especially among divorced and remarried couples. But we've lost track of the main argument--the point was if the couple included a lapsed Catholic, which I think does make a difference.Still, to answer your question: all of my gay friends know that I am a practicing Catholic, and they are very unlikely to invite me to their any of their ceremonies. When asked (by anyone) I always explain the Church teaching on human sexuality with love and compassion. Even so, I have lost some friends over this issue. Others have heard me out and we have continued to be friends. I still say it--love and humanity trumps philosophy in my experience. Perhaps that's because a young and insensitive priest delayed my conversion to Catholicism by about 6come years by his knee-jerk to my 18 year old self. He rightly but abruptly told me I couldn't receive communion, and made no attempt whatever to make me feel welcome or give any suggestions to learn more about the faith. Sorry for the length, but this is important.
Many of my peers. Also...recently heard someone talking about their confirmation class years earlier, and how a friend, whose name was James, searched all over to find a St. Bond, so that his name would be James Bond. Silly.
I didn't choose to be baptised, have never practiced or believed in God, and to marry in a Catholic Church would be insincere on my part. What are people like me supposed to do?
I am not Catholic (yet? But thinking seriously about it)
I just want to say Fr Gregory Pine speaks incredibly well, and I appreciate his ability
to convey the gravity of something while
Being encouraging and kind.
You’ll soon be home if you decide to fully convert :) ❤️
My friend, the greatest and most special grace our Lord Jesus Christ ever gave me was calling me home to His holy Catholic Church after a life outside of it. I encourage you to learn about Catholicism as much as possible and consider its tenets without bias-I think you may find how convincing they are. May Christ’s peace be with you.
Dear Henry, God bless you in your process of discerning the Faith. Will pray for you and hope to one day welcome you home!
I am a protestant who almost became Catholic. Please pray without ceasing about this.
@Wilkins325 I am a Protestant too. What stopped you from converting?
My brother divorced and got married a second time outside the Church. I didn't attend this wedding. I told him: "I don't want to participate in ceremony which celebrates your decision to live in the state of mortal sin.I care more about your eternal hapiness than the temporary one." I don't feel it's a jugement or insult, it's an act of love. He respected my decision. I fast and pray for him a lot...
You're doing the right thing, God bless you 😇
🤦🏻♂️
R u effin’ serious??? Lighten up, Francis!! You must be a riot at parties!
I have to agree with Agnieszka. The persons marrying are tacitly (or openly) declaring their rejection of the Church, the sacrament, and Jesus Christ. How can a faithful Catholic possibly attend such an event?
Jesus’s message was that when you position yourself as the judge of others because they are breaking this law or that law, you are a hypocrite, because YOU are a sinner.
My non practicing daughter got married to another no practicing Catholic this past June. My family (household) attended. We are the only Catholics in her life (other than grandparents). She and I have always had a very very strained relationship because of our differences in beliefs. We went because not going would have severed our relationship completely and she would have associated our not going as another thing hateful Catholics do. I didn't like it but I truly prayed and talked to more than one priest about it. I firmly believe she has married another Catholic because they will eventually come back to the Church. Mary let it be known to me during a 54 day novena 5 years ago that she would.
You’re right. People fall away because of other people in the faith, not because of the actual faith.
We are hateful to them because the world hates us. It is so difficult for you. I hope and pray that your daughter and her husband will eventually see where you stand but from a human perspective that will be next to impossible because the forces in the world make Catholics look bad. But for God nothing is impossible.
Sometimes we have to decrease in order for God to increase.
I know you wrote this a long time ago,
but FWIW my husband and I were both non practicing Catholics for 10 YEARS, married outside the church and had it validated as
we are reverting now. I think you made
the right decision!
This is my thought exactly
An articulate, informative, enlightened, discourse, given with love and respect for our ability to discern truth and make choices based on our spiritual priorities. It is far easier to say, "Father told me to do thus and such," than it is to accept responsibility for thinking things through and accepting responsibility for choosing or rejecting God's will. Teaching his child to think vs giving an easy out takes more time, but is what a "good" father does for a child he loves. Thank you for your time and instruction Father Pine.
Serious question: As a christian, how can you be happy and not depressed while simultaneously believing that people are suffering incomparable indescribable torment forever in Hell? I very anxiously await your answer.
@@michaelflores9220 Life has natural consequences I would not wish on anyone. Free will exists for all of us and God will not take that from us. Those that choose to reject God and don't want God in their life choose the consequences of that choice. I pray for them and do not rejoice in their choice. That does not mean I can't rejoice in the good that comes to me. God is far above me in power and pay grade, and has a plan for every persons salvation. If on judgement day individuals have refused God then that is their use of free will. No parent wills that their child does evil, but each child has free will and at some point as an adult they accept responsibility for adult actions. Does not mean I approve or agree with their choices and does not mean I don't love them. It also does not mean I have no right to feel sunshine, taste food, or accept the benefit of good choices I make. I would be even more joyful if every human ever created chose God and worshiped Him in heaven. I am limited, I don't make all the rules. God is limitless, is love, and does not choose evil or the consequences of evil. He forgives if we seek Him and ask...If we don't want forgiveness then we reject God, our choice,...life without God is hell. Jesus saves, is the way, truth, and life...I have no such power. Since the number of theology classes I have had is zero I would guess that a priest would have a more articulate, intelligent answer, but I gave you my best shot. God bless and keep you brother.
@@amaraheising4672 I'd prefer if God did'nt create free will ore one never made world int all to a world with hell in it.
@@amaraheising4672 Brilliant dissection of that question- addressing all the nuances
Without any theology classes (after 1970’s most were rubbish anyway-unless clearly Traditional Roman Catholic) you learned everything needed to communicate the truth of our Faith, backed up what Jesus said in the Bible, ad well as the doctrines, dogmas & traditions for 2000 years from all that followed- the Apostles the Church Fathers, the Popes the Saints the Teachings from the many Councils- Nicea & Trent most notably- don’t ever sell yourself as a valuable, treasured and loved by God evangelist. It takes courage and you got what it takes!
Please continue to introduce yourself at the beginning. My first time hearing you Father. Charity is not always seen as a pleasant action in our fallen lives. Thank you and God bless you Father.
Father, thank you for putting words and reason to a very complex thought process. I will learn from it and use it in the future. Some of these situations are even more complex than you describe. I sometimes think that we do more harm abandoning people by not attending something like this, and also think that showing up there clearly does not mean that we support or condone something, even if other, casual attendees infer that we do. These are the nuanced shades of situations where even learned priests differ in opinion. I have asked for and received different advice than what you delineate here from a very intelligent, educated, and excellent priest, pastor of my church, whom I respect a great deal. Our intent matters also, both in the eyes of the church and in the eyes of Christ. I think..... Thank you again for making me think.
Thank you Father. You have cleared up all the ambiguity others seem to engage in regarding this issue.
Great video! It would be nice if you gave some more examples of specific situations where you think it would and wouldn't be okay to attend a marriage. Maybe do a part 2 of this video explaining different situations and then talking about your thought process in discerning the right decision.
This is so helpful beyond the "example" case. Thank you!
I went to a "catholic wedding" at a Catholic Church of some friends that are not practicing catholics, when the husband entered they played a star wars song, so I took my family and left.
@@AD-in6qp I am not surprised anymore, that's why I became a traditional catholic, I encountered too many crazy things (I live in Chile South America BTW)
😱😱😱. Catholic priests should not allow non practicing Catholics to get married in the Catholic church.
@@ellem6050 atleast there's some good coming out of it. Atleast it's better than a civil union. Atleast they bothered to get to a church. Maybe that's y priests don't refuse such people.
@@tinag7506 yes, but using a good thing like the sacrament of matrimony as a plus on the scale of pros and cons isn’t entering the sacrament properly.
@@joeypuvel1228 Exactly. To his amazement, I applauded my atheist friend because he didn't succumb to the pressure of his christian surrounding and got married in the church.
How is formication not as gravely immoral as homosexual sex? If you attended and approve of the pseudo-wedding of two people who are officially deciding to live together with no sacramental blessing, how are you not objectively causing scandal? There might be gray areas, however, I would think this is pretty cut and dry. I met a young girl who said (of her “wedding”) “everyone came. They didn’t say anything.”
Now, she’s stuck in a non sacramental marriage with an irreligious man who physically removed her and her daughter from mass. I had almost convinced her to talk to her “husband” about a marriage blessing as she thought he was softening to her, and the new priest has ignored the situation and is giving her communion. Do you see the messiness? “No one said anything and everyone came.” And now she thinks everything is fine. No blessing needed. Receiving communion and the approval of the priest.
My rule of thumb: If God isn’t invited to the wedding than neither am I. He’s my friend and I care about situations where He’s offended. My not attending may be the prick of their conscious that leads them to repentance down the road.
Homosexual acts and fornication are both sins but not the same. Fornication can produce a child, Homosexual acts cannot produce a child. In parts of Africa Homosexuals acts lead to instant lynching and death of the individual. Homosexual acts are unnatural, while fornication is natural.
You can convalidate a heterosexual marriage but you can’t convalidate a same sex union
Great point at the end
Well said.
I love your response, the end bit especially.
I wish I had thought about it that way ❤️
I wanted to hear this so desperately.... Thank you Fr. Gregory and Matt..!
Love father Gregory , precious soul!
God bless you and keep you.
My really close friend is wedding a non catholic outside the church and she asked me to be her maid of honor. Phew ! It was tough saying no. I did so in the most polite way possible, I call her sometimes..... the friendship is not the same
There are a lot of reasons why people will decline coming to a wedding, and most reasons are accepted; but when faith is involved, there always seems to be a rift. It's really sad.!
Let's go! Thanks Fr!
The purpose of this video is to explain principles of moral Theology as taught by the Church so that one can apply them to better think through particular scenarios. Rather than attacking the messenger (Fr. Pine) or this channel, it seems more reasonable and charitable to examine the principles he’s teaching. If you disagree with a certain principle, then you have something concrete and foundational to discuss/ argue charitably about.
Absolutely right. Catholics who reject even one article of the faith have no faith, nor the theological virtue of charity. That's why they start freaking out every time you disagree with them.
Serious question: As a christian, how can you be happy and not depressed while simultaneously believing that people are suffering incomparable indescribable torment forever in Hell? I very anxiously await your answer.
@@michaelflores9220 because souls in hell have chosen their own eternal damnation and aren't contrite or repentant (for in hell there is no repentance). We too deserve eternity in hell but God, righteous and merciful as He is, sent us His only Son so us who choose Him don't have to suffer in hell. Rather than despairing over the souls that suffer their just punishment, we rejoice in God's mercy and pray efficaciously for those souls for whom there is hope, so as many souls as possible may rejoice in eternal bliss with God, our joy. I hope this helps you at least a little. God bless! ❤️
@@yeahssir Various Bible passages, especially Luke 13:24-27, make it clear hell is something imposed externally by Jesus, and that those in Hell want to go to Heaven.
@@michaelflores9220 but do you not see that it's their own choices that got them there? Jesus does not shut out the truly righteous! The agony they suffer they may want not to suffer, but in hell they still loathe God and are not repentant of their sins. They become like the fallen angels: miserable and hate-filled.
this topic is so relevant and comes up so much in my life
“If you need the Mass times, push 2”
😂
My brother got married by the courts and later had it blessed in the Church. They divorced and he married another woman in the Lutheran church. I didn't attend that wedding. I was the only sibling not to attend.
Why not? I am curious. Thanks.
If he had it annulled and got married would you have attended?
Based
@CJ P. what is the question?
@CJ P. I’d attend either way. I’m not part of the Church of Rome
I try to lead by example. My kids know their Catholic faith but have chosen not to practise it. By having them watch me continuing to be a faithful Catholic as well as always loving towards them, I hope that one day they will return to the Church. If I was punitive in my behaviours, I would lose them forever. I would not attend a same sex union/secular marriage though or endorse an abortion. Both my kids know my thoughts absolutely on these. To give you an example of a small glimmer. I was sorting out the house and came across my daughter's Rosary she had as a child. I asked her if she wanted me to donate it to our Church and was surprised by (and thrilled by) her reaction. She asked me to hang on to it. When I pray the Rosary, I always ask that she will ask me for hers one day.
How does shunning lapsed Catholics help them come back to the church?
My thoughts exactly.
I attended my son’s wedding to a methodis woman on the beach 🏖Both doesn’t practice their Faith .. keep praying unceasingly everyday for both of them 📿🙏
Just keep praying.
Your son’s gonna be fine. It’s his mother who has the problem
@@CheddarBayBaby me too - wot ?
📿🙏 < these are Buddhist and Hindu signs. Unless you pray to false gods.
@@Denis-fs2ip yes the mala beads are Buddhist but praying hands are Christian even if Indians do that too.
I would reckon a majority of catholic weddings INSIDE the Church will have the bride or groom (or both) be Catholic in name only, such as they were baptized or they were sent for confirmation as a teenager or raised in a Catholic family, but they don't practice as an adult. These people think it would be "nice" to be married in the church for legitimization or they do it to make the family happy. Is it OK to attend these weddings? Are they legitimate? Do they receive the full blessing and sacrament regardless of their true heart and intentions?
God should be everyone's first choice and priority not your son, daughter, father, or mother who you know is sinning against God and his Holy Church that's why we have 7 sacraments and marriage is one of them
So helpful! Thank you!
Great explanation--I declined to attend a granddaughters outdoor wedding under the trees officiated by some guy in a green suit even after being specifically invited and I told her why but I did give her a present of a clock I had made. It was a hard decision but I am glad I did so even though the relationship has cooled. I personally did not want to become complicit in an act that gave any approval of her lack of faith and baptism and I do not think she will ever forget my decision which I hopefully believe someday will help bring her back the Faith.
This is the correct approach. It's a difficult decision but a necessary one.
My cousin just got engaged to another woman. Even if she will resent me for it, I will not attend the wedding
What a cold thing to do. Hopefully your granddaughter receives the love and affirmation she deserves from other members of her family because she's most definitely not getting it from you.
@@benmitchell1747 It's called LOVE. When you love someone you don't just give them what they want, especially if you are their father. I have to say "no" to my children all the time, not because I am cold-hearted, but because I want the best for them. When my children make a bad decision, rather than encouraging them to make them feel good about themselves, I tell them they have done wrong. They know I will always give the the hard, cold truth. There can be no love in a lie.
@@christopherfleming7505 You can't compare this situation of a man not going to an outdoor wedding to your kids misbehaving. With that train of thought you can excuse almost anything. If your defense of a cold-hearted act rest solely on comparing it to something else, maybe your decision wasn't done out of LOVE, maybe you just want to excuse doing something you know in your heart is hurtful.
I am one such example. My mother went but my father didn’t. In hindsight, the seeds planted that day haven’t had a visible effect. I am pursuing my Catholic faith again but not out of a sense of duty to my parents but because it’s my choice. My father not being there for me in spite of my lapse has always been a bit of a struggle for myself and especially for my spouse.
I have and still do give my father’s choice the benefit of the doubt. Maybe there was some significant importance to his choice, but to this day I haven’t seen the fruits he planted. My journey back to the Church has long been out of my mind because of my parents portrayal of the Catholic faith. Catholicism itself became their primary focus rather than being a living example of their faith.
Had they said their peace but still love me and supported my marriage there is a very good chance I would have returned to the Church years sooner.
I like how Father Gregory didn't say a firm "yes" or "no," because it really does vary case by case. For example, if 1 or both persons were baptized Catholic but weren't raised in the faith and know little to nothing about it, how can one blame them for marrying outside the Church? They weren't taught any better! If anything, maintaining your relationship with them gives them a better chance of discovering the faith than the alternative. Now, 1 or 2 persons who were raised Catholic but decided not to have a Catholic wedding? I see that as totally different because in that case, they SHOULD know better. And they should also understand why you cannot attend. Not attending in that case may very well serve as a wake up call to them. And if it doesn't, maybe it will years later, who knows.
Coming from a large extended family with lives that are very challenging. I am thinking of one that was a civil service because a baby was on the way. She was Catholic young and the Pastor refused to marry them because too young. They would have married in the church. Looking back on it it right to attend and the pastor was also right. I believe in providence which is still working itself out
If they are still married they could approach their pastor and probably have their marriage convalidated
If this brother is going to be on PWA I will be tuning in more often!
Usually once a week or so I think
A good summary; he doesn’t give cut-and-dry “You can’t go”. Basic principles: “The glory of God and the salvation of souls” via Love, Witness, Conversion esp. of those present. A too-frequent scenario in today's secular culture: one or both members of couple don't even know they were baptized Catholic.
Genuine question from someone trying to learn the Catholic faith: How can someone "retreat from their baptismal promises" if they were baptized as an infant? An infant cannot consent or agree with any particular doctrines, nor make a commitment to living a certain way?
It is said during confirmation
Well, let's ask this question in regards to the commandment of honoring your parents. A baby never made a choice to be born to those parents or even be born at all, and yet, God expects us to fulfill our duties to our parents. Each of our parents acted in such a way that cooperated with God by means of the procreative act, but never consulted us about it. Still, we have an obligation to our parents.
Similairly, our parents may have presented us for Baptism while we were only infants, but we still have a responsibility as we grow up to fulfill our duties as baptized members of Christ's body. God is our Heavenly Father. Similairly to how one cannot stop being their parents' son or daughter, they cannot erase their baptism. People receive responsibility in life, whether requested or not, and must do their best to fulfill such obligations. I hope that helps.
In the Latin rite we have infant baptism, but confirmation at a later age when people know what they are doing. In the Byzantine rite they have infant baptism immediately followed by infant chrismation. In the past Popes have ordered Eastern churches to delay chrismation.
Think of it like citizenship. Citizenship for heaven.
If a whole family immigrates and takes new citizenship, the baby had no choice in the matter. Yet, if that baby grows up to be someone who commits treason against his nation, the fact that he had no choice in being a citizen does not excuse him from the crime.
A very timely video for me!
Things like this exemplify some hurdles I have with the Church and it's teachings. I have attended weddings that fall under this category and have offered support to others. The story of my own life and all of my family seem to be in opposition to the Church's teaching but yet those in my family have seemed to find happiness, raised children, and otherwise have met their obligations as far as being parents and adults. I cannot for whatever reason feel comfortable thinking I know how life should be lived and families be structured when my own does not fit that mold. My parents were not married in the Church, I was conceived out of wedlock, but my mom hade baptized as what of any Catholicism I bring to the table is from my mom, from the Philippines. I didn't attend Mass as a child, probably only attended 5 or so times before becoming an adult. I am trying to be the best Catholic that I can. Must I look at my family and it's history as disordered and wrong, against God's will? These are the people that raised me and have loved me the most. Even my grandparents engaged in adultery and multiple marriages. Sure, there are scars that have healed slowly, and I guess one could argue that if my family were devoutly Catholic, these situations could be avoided, but I love my family. There have been times where I have upset some members of my family when I have expressed concern regarding their world views or their actions, but again my point is this is the family I have. I even have atheist friends who have accomplished the same things, raised wonderful families and loving marriages. Sometimes the Church's teachings seem to work only in a perfect world. Even when trying to live the faith to the best of my abilities l, receiving the sacraments, accepting God's grace, I'm still troubled because I'm the only one attending Mass etc. It seems fitting that it eventually leads to despair, not feeling adequate to even call myself Catholic, and it becomes a vicious cycle. What about my mental illness and learned negative behaviors? I feel I have improved in some areas in how I live my life, but then again, knowing I have fallen short of the Church's teachings and knowing I have a long road ahead to improve, I sometimes worry when my earthly life is over I will not obtain the beatific vision. Alas, I have yet to find answers to these questions, and when bringing them up to those who I trust to help, it's as if their answers have an overtone of, "You ought to know better, Hell is a choice you make, etc". Sorry for the rambling, but these are some hurdles I still have.
In my high school days,
I was a lapsed Catholic Christian. And why? Because when I was in high school, I didn’t make the Catholic Christian faith my number one priority and I was too busy with school activities including schoolwork and homework. So yes I was a lapsed Catholic but then two friends of mine who went to the same high school gave me to the opportunity to attend their Catholic Church. At first I had no interest of going but after my mom heard, she encouraged me to attend every weekend. And then in the early spring of 2010, I decided to make a sincere commitment to the Catholic Christian church and make my confirmation. And I did it on Easter Vigil 2010. Now as a sincere practicing Catholic Christian, I take the faith very seriously and I’m a Knight of Columbus.
Thats why we need to pray for our priests, because they're afraid to preach the truth. " I'm not going to tell you to go or not to go. " What kind of answer is that.
He outlines that the answer depends on your circumstances. Did you watch the video?
Remember Christ..."Will you also go"?
I like your delivery Fr Pine. More please!
My cousin was married in a Catholic Church to another Catholic. I was in the wedding party. At least 50 other people witnessed the marriage.
Over twenty years & two children later, she decided to divorce him.
Then she had that marriage “annulled “ & remarried another Catholic in a Catholic Church.
I refused to go. I was the only one in my family to do so.
My reasoning is that if her first marriage never actually took place, then how do we know if anyone is actually married?? It was a clear case of Catholic divorce & remarriage.
As far as other “weddings “ if they aren’t my children or close relatives, I would go to a non Catholic wedding, because the large majority of people today simply do not know or could care less what the Catholic Church teaches today.
The Church is in such a horrible state today that even the hierarchy including The Pope doesn’t even follow the Traditional teachings of The Faith !
So we expect normal lay people to care ??
You did good.
Years ago I attended a Catholic wedding, when at the time I was not even a Christian. I was invited by someone who grew up in the church but didn't really seem to be practicing their faith at all (promiscuous for one thing). I understand this is a sacrament, but non-Catholics can attend mass, right?
Do we have a belief that having lapsed Catholics attend your wedding will make God angry? This seems superstitious to me (I'm Anglican).
@@pyrovania
Are you asking if Catholics believe that inviting a lapsed Catholic to a wedding will make God angry ?
If so my answer would be no, we don’t believe that. But if it is a nuptial mass than non Catholics should not receive communion.
@@camovets5719 Whew! The church I go to is the same way, but they give communion to disgruntled Catholics and wandering Orthodox. Slightly less restrictive but the beliefs are about the same.
@@camovets5719 The thing that stood out to me about the ceremony was "this is going to take a long time, so bride and groom, have a seat".
Nearly everyone else marries standing up in a ceremony that takes less than an hour =).
I was raised in a strong Catholic family and community, and I’ve been to countless Catholic and many secular weddings. However, I’ve never known anyone who was openly opposed to attending non-Catholic weddings of lapsed Catholics. Maybe some would not, but did not say that was the reason. Those words have never been spoken to me. Frankly, it would be considered dogmatic and intolerant, especially in this day and age. However, even my Grandma, who converted to Catholicism before her wedding in 1940, and my born-Catholic grandfather absolutely attended the weddings of her Protestant and secular friends and family throughout their entire adult lives. This was simply a non-issue. Our focus is on family and community, and with that in mind I would also have concern for the moral consequences of shunning a loved one like that and potentially causing a serious rift. All of that being said, when I actually think about it, I wouldn’t be opposed to this if someone had a genuine moral conviction that prevented them from attending in good faith. But I’d be very wary of sanctimonious refusal in this case.
I’m not sure you understand what’s really being said here. There is a huge difference between two Protestants marrying each other and a Catholic marrying a non-catholic outside the church. The Church teaches in the second scenario, the marriage is not valid (they’re not really getting married).
There is nothing wrong with attending a marriage between two Protestants. It’s when it’s a Catholic and a non Catholic marrying outside the church where things get tricky.
@@Andrew-sj9tr THis kind of logic is what is making me hesitate from converting to Catholicism. Should it not be what you believe in your heart and not church rules? If I am Anglican or Orthodox and take communion in my church, is it not the same Jesus that is present in the eucharist in a Catholic church? I have seen the altar area start glowing during the mass when the priest is up there doing the ( forget the word for it) in a non-Catholic church, but I regularly meet Catholics who will tell you Jesus is only present in a Catholic eucharist and not present in an Anglican or Orthodox eucharist.
I have a gift where I can feel if a church is consecrated when I walk in, and I feel a lot of this in some orthodox churches.
Just how "only Catholicism is valid" is the Catholic church?
Also, I worry about the current Pope being in charge of the liturgy. His views are a bit unconventional.
EDIT: it also drives me crazy when I hear evangelicals say that Catholics aren't really Christian.
Can't stand the judgy people. They do a lot of damage and they don't even know it most of the time.
@@pyrovania I struggled with similar thoughts as I was converting. One thing that helped me was learning that we, humans, are bound by the sacraments (and other things pertaining to them), but God is not. We need to follow God’s rules, but God is above all rules for he is pure goodness in his nature. So could he give a special grace to an Anglican priest to transubstantiate true Eucharist? Yes. But, we can’t break God’s rules and expect that he will give someone who hasn’t truly been given holy orders (Anglicans can’t trace apostolic succession, so their priesthood is not valid) the privilege of confecting Eucharist?
As an aside, Catholics believe that the Orthodox Church does have a valid priesthood and therefore valid Eucharist.
@@EvyLois Anglicans believe they are apostolic though. If you have one bad pope does it break succession for every bishop serving under him?
Follow the Scriptures faithfully and the need to not become complicit in rebellion make it simple. This is not judging the person but the act. Being a 'cafeteria' Catholic is not the path to salvation.
As a non native English speaker I find it quite a good listening exercise hearing father Gregory but I love that he doesn't dumb down or synthesize what he explains and I learn a lot everytime he finishes a sentence even if that means jumping from one idea to another in less than 5 seconds lol. Now the curious thing is that I was wandering about this topic since I attended a protestant wedding of one of my nieces who's father (my cousin) change his religion from catholic to protestant thanks to his wife's efforts.
Father, you didn't directly answer the question. It isnt for us to discern the right or wrong course. The church teaching is if baptized catholics marry outside the church, there is no marriage and they live as fornicators. Attending such an event gives our okay to the event and we partake in the sin.
@@spencerwheeler6112 Interesting. Are you referring to something in the Catechism?
Draw a line in the sand and don’t cross it. Stop playing next to the slippery slope. Stop giving room for sin to enter your life. God’s law is not on a scale, it is absolute, and it is unchanged.
My sister-in-law who was baptized Catholic and is now a Methodist was living with her boyfriend and recently got married in a Methodist ceremony at the lake. The reason why I attended was to affirm a STEP on the right path. Sometimes conversion is incremental. At some point I hope she (and he), by God's grace, will return to the Sacraments and get married in the Catholic Church.
@@lilyw.719 You can keep your judgment to yourself.
@@lilyw.719 Wow. You really didn't even listen to Fr. Pine did you? Did he say it was always a sin to attend? Nope. I don't know your heart, but I think you lack charity in your comments.
Don't stop praying for them Mark! My husband and I are both converts from the Methodist church. There is hope. And we got married outdoors as well, sadly.
Idk if Neal is doing the editing, but great job!
And thank you Fr.Greg, stellar as always!
What's the correct pastoral response to this situation? We can all evaluate that for ourselves. I can say that for me, if I have a genuine friendship with the person getting married, if I've been privileged to have extended to me an invitation and I know that my presence would be meaningful to my friend, then I will attend the wedding and will do so with good and clear conscience.
I am always impressed with the wisdom of someone younger than myself like a priest or a very knowledgable practicing Catholic. I understand that they have been to 6+ years of seminary but it's still impressive.
Perhaps a more salient question would be this... and it is never addressed by the Church..... why do people (like me) brought up in the Church decide to abandon it? In my case it was because of the abuse I suffered at the hands of priests and nuns during my time as a child... secondly the only love and kindness I ever saw in my local Church was the lovely old lady who used to come and clean the place. She was full of love and kindness - the clergy were NOT. They could not get their minds above their navels when it came to supposed sin, and were always after money.
Those are emotional arguments that, while horrible that you underwent such abuse, has no bearing on the truth of the Catholic Church itself, that it is the body of Christ... The, now adult, man who was abused, as a young boy into his teenaged years, by former cardinal McCarrick, is still a practicing Catholic to this day, even though he underwent such abuse...
@@csongorarpad4670 I think the abused would feel more supported, and this goes for both sex abuse and physical abuse, if the abuser was held accountable and the victim was protected from the abuser. If you did that, the abused would not feel so betrayed.
@@pyrovania Well, that is obviously the case... and that also does happen all throughout the Church at the same time that many other victims have been ignored and neglected.
So if your point is that the abused should be supported and helped by their brothers and sisters in Christ then the answer is obviously "of course!"
My family attended both weddings of our cousins who were lapsed. I considered their ignorance of the importance of the faith and how they were raised to be important factors in deliberation.
This was such an amazingly explained video! Wish I had this back in August. My entire family is practicing Catholic except a few and my randomly Jewish aunt. Non practicing Catholic cousin got married on a farm to non catholic and my whole immediate family did not attend. To me it was black and white. The rest of the relatives had a hard time understanding and caused a bunch of on going drama. My aunt would not leave my mom alone about it and caused so much chaos and gossip. It created a weird riff on my moms side of the family for a while, still nobody understands, but they don’t talk about it anymore thankfully. My poor mother really got the heat of it all.
I’ve turned down wedding invitations cuz they were Catholic and were getting married at a hotel, park, etc.,
I don't look forward to weddings much anymore.
Short answer: "yes."
Great insight in this video.
Why does the laity have to concern itself with minutiae but the bishops are aloud to ignore the more important things
So much trying to not offend anyone,God is offened already on these acts. Dont want to severe the relationship,the relationship has been severed by the person performing the evil act. Of course we don't judge,but don't put me in a position to have to protect the glory and goodness of God and his Church.
According to Paul, God is love and love does not take offence, just saying.
3 Aves for you, Father 🌹🌹🌹🙏🏻📿
I think the emoji is from a different faith, please be aware so you dont influence people wrongly
xx
I was one of those lapsed Catholics married in my family church. I almost did not want to do it, but I wanted to honor my family. My husband was pretty much against it. And, most people would probably tell me it wasn't a sacramental marriage. Looking at it, I see that vow I made before God and family as binding and permanent.
It took years of wandering in the desert to find my way home. I feel like those vows were what kept me anchored in the storm.
Today I am a fully practicing Catholic and I thank God for never letting me go through it all.
Go to the weddings. Pray blessings upon them. Pray a novena for them before the wedding. Pray a rosary and divine mercy for them.. Too many people today never receive a prayer or a blessing from anyone. If you can't do that, pray this powerful little prayer for them:
"Lord Jesus give to them whatever the Blessed Virgin Mary is asking for them."
Recently a couple got married at a weekday mass. It was beautiful. To me this couple had the best wedding I've ever attended. I was there just to attend mass. I offered the mass for them, I prayed over them and I imagine everyone else did too. It really showed to me that the church is our true family. Priests should encourage more couples to do this.
I am a lapsed Catholic (although almost back practicing fully) and am dating a fully non-believing and non-practicing catholic. We are considering marriage. She is more than OK with marrying in the Catholic church if it makes me happy. My question to you is how is the marriage affected? Is your husband still non-practicing? Are you really a fully practicing catholic, no contraception, no attending gay marriages, pray even when you're not in church, etc etc? If so, how does it affect your marriage? Do you ever wish your husband was fully practicing, if he isn't already? Do you think you would be happier and your marriage stronger/easier? Thanks in advance
@@cwebbwash3 all good things to consider. Since you are going into the marriage as a practicing Catholic, it is different I think. Marriage prep classes should help you some. But, do not expect them to change. And, do not expect that they will accept your level of faith.
My husband does not like that I practice my faith. He belittled everything and hates that I'm not the same person after 30 years of marriage. I'm sad that he still is. But that's his choice. So I pray daily and consecrate him to the Immaculate Heart of Mary. Jesus has told me there is nothing I can do to convert him except to pray. Someone else will do that.
He has finally stopped grumbling about my statues, crosses, etc. Bless your house. Sprinkle blessed salt and holy water.
Consecrate yourself to the Sacred heart of Jesus, the Immaculate Heart of Mary and the Chaste Heart of St Joseph.
Surround yourself with the Holy Family. I have mini nativity sets in every room of my house.
Perhaps this is your cross to bear to save her soul. But, that's a conversation to have with Jesus at adoration. Or maybe you will never know why you are to marry this woman until you both get to heaven.
Here's a prayer for you:
Jesus I trust in you. Take care of everything.
Jesus I rest in you. Take care of everything.
Jesus I surrender myself to you. Take care of everything.
Dear God, thank you for everything.
@@LisaKnobel God makes straight with our crooked paths. Im glad you returned to the faith. At the same time we need to trust the Church in its wisdom when it speaks strongly against mixed marriages. Your case is different because both of you didn't believe but anyone considering marrying a non believer should be discouraged from doing so because it is unlikely God's will. Sure they might convert but they could also could ruin your salvation. Really careful discernment should happen before a decision is made.
@@cwebbwash3my wife is a non practicing Catholic and I stopped trying to convert her, consecrate yourself to Jesus through Mary, to St. Joseph and pray the Rosary every day, wear the Brown Scapular and Miraculous Medal and plant medals around your home and pray pray pray, pray the 54 Day Rosary Novena and pray the whole Rosary daily.
God love you, brother.
I hope some of my merits will go to your intentions.
My husband was completely unaffiliated with any religion and had not even been baptized when we met
He was also divorced
He went through RCIA on his own choosing and he also received the Pauline Privilege saying that no sacrament took place in his first marriage since neither one was married and a JP officiated their wedding
I told him before we got married, “Since I’m Catholic we believe in only taking one trip down the aisle. Are you sure you want to marry me?”
25 years later and I think it’s the best decision he ever made
It's amazing how many people claim to know the mind of God. Just like Adam and Eve eating the fruit of good and evil.
Every “marriage” involving at least one catholic that takes place outside the Catholic Church is an INVALID marriage. The only exceptions would be if the bishop gave a dispensation from canonical form or if they married in the Orthodox Church. I respect Fr Pine, but I find it shocking that his moral analysis did not include this indisputable fact. To attend an invalid marriage is to stand in praise of an invalid marriage, and this is wrong (it is the same as standing in praise of a state of cohabitation and fornication). I feel terrible for how commonly this situation affects relationships, but the truth is the truth.
I think it’s safe to assume the Catholic in question is lapsed.😂 What don’t you all get about this? What am I missing?
^saying YES without saying YES. I think if it’s your child or brother/sister, and not attending could destroy the relationship, then maybe you need to go. And keep praying for them.
"Present but NOT supportive." I like that. lol
Attending the wedding is an act of love. The witness of your love may encourage the couple to return to the faith someday. Not attending will only harden their hearts against the faith and confirm their initial rejection. We won't bring people to Christ by acting like lawyers and judges.
At the same time we can't clap and support sinful acts.
@@bbseal6174 I would attend so they might feel my love and caring for them for the persons they are...and not on my verdict regarding their decision..my hope that by experiencing my love and care, they may be more likely to return to the faith through good relationships being maintained. God asks us to love and leave the judging to him
@@bbseal6174 thank you for your courteous reply. I rarely comment, but your saying that love is willing the good of the other is just so true, that I attempted to convey how attending might promote that good will in relationship that keeps open the door to that ultimate good, which is what I think you may be referring too.
You're not necessarily right. Padre Pio is a great example of this in how he severely admonishdd people who came to him for confession and he could see in their soul (a gift from God) that they were not wholly ashamed nor seeking forgiveness for their sins. So Padre Pio told them to leave, harshly and it was because of this that, they returned at a later time, thanking him (Padre Pio) for being a wake-up call for them to take their faith, sins and confession seriously... they returned to the faith BECAUSE Padre Pio was harsh. There is nothing about Catholic faith that has anything to do with niceness.
@@csongorarpad4670 To add to what you are saying, kindness is different than niceness.
I don't believe I've ever been to a wedding that wasn't lapsed I'm afraid.
I can only think of one
Thing is, you don't know if the bride and groom have unconfessed sin when they get married. The priest might not know either.
@@pyrovania I suspect it goes very deep to people's core beliefs versus selfishness. People run off and get married like the children they often are without the deep love, commitment and darn well knowing it should be forever so choose carefully! No they don't think about getting old and wiping each other's butts. That's love. That was my parents. Not this oh, things got rocky so I left BS. Forever or do not do it! Yes suffering IS necessary in life.
Our daughter is a lapsed Catholic. Her first marriage was out of state and we didn’t attend. Then they divorced and she married a second time to a non Catholic, but at this time she considered herself an atheist. They got married about 14 years ago at a Vegas chapel, and we did attend. However, I’d been a lapsed Catholic too and had only come back into the Church a few years before. Now I wished I’d had the “guts” to tell her we wouldn’t attend. Her marriage seems happy although I’m always praying for her. I think she’d have been hurt if we didn’t attend, but then again I’d given her a bad example of not being a practicing Catholic, so it might have looked like both me and my husband were being a bit hypocritical . If I had to do this over though, I wouldn’t have attended.
Thanks , Father. I support the eastern province of the Dominicans.
Can someone explain why a baptized catholic marrying outside the Church would not just be in a valid natural marriage, when two pagans get married and there's is considered a valid natural marriage?
This video left me feeling a little bit uncomfortable, and I absolutely love that.
I believe that genuine spiritual advice should challenge a Christian, in a loving manner, to live a life worthy of the One who told us that we would have to take up our cross and follow Him.
Far too often, I hear advice from Catholic sources that allow me to essentially live completely in line with our post-Christian society. I don’t want to know how I can sneak by, I want to know how to properly discern how to act. I really appreciate these thoughts in this video.
I was advised by my Parish Priest to attend my daughter's wedding in an Anglican Church because everyone knew who I felt and not attending would sever the relationship. Sounds like Fr. might disagree with that decision. In real life it is pretty difficult to cut off a relationship with your children.
I would say that Anglican tradition is very similar to Catholic tradition.
Yes I know the history of how Henry the eighth created the Anglican church because the pope wouldn’t grant him a divorce. I know the dark history.
At least your daughters wedding was at a church.
There is so much more new ones. Right?
For instance is your son-in-law a man who honors God and is your daughter the same way?
Do they seek virtue and do they want to be righteous?
Maybe your daughter will revert or come back to the Catholic Church at some point. It’s a possibility.
I think what the answer narrows down to is do you honor the relationship that the bride and groom have and do you have a good relationship with these people already?
There’s so much to unpack. They are also Catholic parishes that are part of the Anglican ordinary it. Check it out.
Revelation 3:16
So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth.
2 Timothy 4:3
For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions.
Matthew 12:30
Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters.
One could say “to attend your wedding would be a mortal sin on my part” and give the reason why. And add “I don’t think you would want me to put my soul in jeopardy, do you?”
Would Jesus and Mary have attended the wedding feast at CANA, had groom or bride been divorced?
Thank you!
From 1983 to 2009, your ecclesial community taught that it was possible to leave by a formal act, thereby removing the requirement to be married according to Catholic rules. The policy was changed in 2010. I guess too many people took them up on it.
If someone is baptized as a baby in the Catholic church, and therefore had no choice in the matter, and ends up not practicing Catholicism at all, but then marries outside the Catholic church, why do we have to condemn that person and even think twice about attending their wedding?
Very well said
For their soul
Their parents are at fault for that because they were never taught how important their faith is. Baptism isn't just a ceremony and a BBQ afterward. It's something that should be taken seriously and is the starting point of growing in one's faith.
Nobody is “condemning.”
I'm far from the smartest person in any room but, this is an easy one. Make Christ your priority which might mean going to church twice in a weekend. It might mean going once and attending to something urgent/emergent. Just don't try to bs yourself.
I disagree that being at a wedding means that you support it. My sister got married at 18, right out high school, to a man 3 years older than her that she started dating on and off since the age of 12.
My mom felt/knew that this marriage would be a HUGE mistake - and she did the right thing by VOICING THIS directly to my sister. So my sister knew where our mom stood on this matter. It was handled privately, personally, directly, intimately, and with love. But my mom ABSOLUTELY attended and helped with the wedding. Did my sister think that meant she supported the marriage? No. She knew how our mom felt. My mom let other family members know how she felt in the months before the wedding - her worries, her concerns, etc.
What my mom did with my sister is the same thing that God does with us. He lets us know what he considers to be sin, but gives us the free will to choose - and he certainly never abandons us, even when he is in disagreement with us.
My sister got divorced 4 years later and the FIRST person she ran to was our mom. Why? Because she realized my mom was the only one who loved her deeply enough to be honest with her from the beginning by not supporting the marriage. If my mom didn’t even ATTEND the wedding, and had abandoned my sister during such an important event in her life - I can guarantee you that my sister wouldn’t have run to her during her divorce.
Father Gregory. As a Priest, I understand your analytical/philosophical explanation. But on the other hand, the average person can be even more confused, by your lengthy philosophical dissertation. Please consider, a more concise, less wordy explanation. In other words, keep it simple. Respectfully your brother in Christ. Jessiah
Thank you for this response.
Basically his point is don't fall into moral minimalism
Dear Jessiah I think people's needs are different and some people will be helped by some priests more than others. I guess you need to try out different channels and find the one which is most helpful at this time. I think fathers message on this one was. You can't go to a same sex marriage. Otherwise you need to make a decision on what's best for the souls of all involved and avoiding the occasion of scandal.
@@kwkw5711 well said. Besides, this was a 12 minute video, hardly a dissertation. Fr Pine taught RCIA at my church, and he has never dumbed down his teaching, and I have always appreciated that about him.
The shorter answer is "no" you should not go there.
Thanks!
So I am not a Catholic but, my fiance is. We are planning to get married next year and we are both divorced.
You can guess where this is going. We have both petitioned to have our marriages annulled and, both marriages meet the criteria of being invalid. And as is stated by the church it doesn't create or dissolve marriages, God does that. So if for some reason the annulments are incomplete by the wedding date, we are going to get married regardless. As far as I have reasoned our marriages we're never valid so we are free to marry and that the church requires proof to perform the marriage but, given that our marriages are in fact invalid the marriage we are going to have will be a valid marriage. The church is just taking its sweet time to come to the obvious conclusion.
I'm not really asking if I'm right or wrong here honestly, I'm just venting about the annulment process and, questioning the authority the church presumes to have while at the same time stating it has no such authority. If anyone knows whether a marriage was invalid or not it is the participants so by questioning the stated validity by the participants they are in fact questioning our integrity which is an extra bit of insult.
That's all.
Christmas is on a Monday this year too!
This is on point for me. I excuse myself for my english but i hope Fr. Gregory or someone can help me.
My cousin is getting married soon, they are not "practicing" at all (specially for her family there are atheists and protestants) and others that are "too good people" so they have years without confession.
I would like to ask that if i assist (or not, I still don't know) should I talk to the priest about this matters so he knows for the moment he gives the blessed sacrament.
This part of my family i'm talking about is known to use to their coinvenience the fact of being baptized catholics (even maybe the wedding itslef, because of the fancy place and preparations and as they are married by civil union and living together already) and i would like to prevent, within my posibilities, sacrilege communions that day, for sake of the Lord and this souls. And to the priest so he invites them to confession and so he knows that the are some that are not in the state of recieving the Lord.
I, as a protestant, would attend all marriages unless they are same sex 'marriages' or if they are pagan marriages that mention other gods
Yes, please do inform the priest. It is important to prevent sacrilegious communions. Great that you bothered!
@@apracity7672 it is different for a Protestant and with no disrespect, as unlike Catholics, you do not believe in the real presence of Jesus, Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity, you do not have a Sacrament of marriage, so you have not learned about the sacrament of marriage in the Catholic Church. Hence you can choose to go to weddings in any place.
It seems like you're going to be hated for doing so. Even the priest might be cynical to you (I don't his character, but who knows the possibility)
Regardless, it is wise to put God first. If I were you, I would be hiding in my bedroom and die frightened by the prospect, because I'm a coward. I hope you can do better
@@Kitiwake we could assume so, but I think it's wiser to verify that directly by talking to the priest and raise your concern.
It's risky, and dangerous. But if we really, really are going to pursue holiness, I think this is the way.
Loved this
Is Duty Line something that your parish offers or is that a thing offered to anyone? I have never heard of it. Is it like an 800 number. Is it staffed or does the called get voice mail? Something that Catholics need to know is if you are in the hospital you have to call the rectory to have someone visit. The hospital, because of HIPPA laws, is not allowed anymore to give out your name to anyone including a priest.
very clear - a refusal could lead to a rupture in a relationship. Wouldn't my continued presence as a practising Catholic, bearing a constant witness be more salutary than what would certainly be deemed judgmental? Then the 'errant' Catholics will have at least contact with their former faith and more chance of a final return to the Church. Very easy to become judgmental and forget my own daily deviations from the faith. Your explanation is excellent but I am thinking of the plank in my eye,
Mixed religious marriages are the norm now and in the Catholic Church is not recognised as a marriage in the church but is legally binding by state laws that’s why you see a lot of marriages outside the rails as they used to say.
Also a lot of Catholics are born Catholics but live there life’s as atheists, so weddings are just ceremonies that are made official by state laws
any way to get in contact with Fr Gregory?
I wished this helped more. I don't have this problem personally. But my son and his fiancé are facing attending her brother's wedding in a year and a half. She was baptized Catholic but never received any other sacraments. He is practically an atheist now but not quite. Not attending their wedding will not come across to them as a loving thing but as a hateful thing that will likely cause a permanent riff that may even cut off the relationship entirely.
And by this logic can Catholics even attend Protestant weddings or other cultural weddings?
No Catholics don’t go to other church weddings outside the Catholic church
I wish that you had been available to advise me 40 years ago. I was told it that if the person has joined another faith tradition then they are no longer Catholic and are free to follow the rules of their new faith. I felt conflicted but there was no one else that felt as I did so I caved in.
so.... if christmas is monday, CAN you only go to mass once Sunday night?
Very very confusing. Give us concrete examples of scenarios where a baptized Catholic friend or family member is marrying outside the Church. “Bring the hay down to the goat” :-)
If they're literally getting married outside a catholic church officiated by a priest and followed by a Mass it is not a Catholic Wedding and you shouldn't go. This is what every priest on earth would have told you until about 1965
@@CatholicBossHogg That's what my conscience has always told me.
Ditto!
What if they are getting married in an Orthodox Church?
No
This is interesting from the point of view of validity. From reading, when a catholic marries in a non catholic ceremony without dispensation, the marriage is invalid - except when marrying an orthodox Christian of the eastern rite. So Catholics who marry orthodox and divorce cannot remarry. Catholics who marry in Jewish secular or Protestant circumstances can.
I think also that the catholic view is that the real presence is there in the orthodox liturgy/mass too, because under some circumstances you can take it - ie no Catholic Churches around
Would be good to know.
A Byzantine Catholic, then yes
I think that'd not be a problem since people from the orthodox Church are allowed communion within the RCC, if I'm not wrong. Also they are considered apostolic by the church.
What if the person "converted" to Protestant? They no longer see themselves as Catholic at all?
Or what if a baptized protestant leaves their faith for athiesm? Would attending that marriage be problematic? Tough questions.
@@hobbiton64The Church teaches that if you die in a state of unconfessed mortal sin then you go to Hell. Being apostate can be a mortal sin. (I say 'can' rather than 'is' because of the three conditions for a sin to be mortal.)
@@hobbiton64 The Second Vatican Council teaches that it is possible for someone who has not heard the Gospel to enter Heaven but that it is very difficult. Furthermore, we should never assume that such a person is going to Heaven. So our attitude should be to try to make sure, either by our own efforts or by assisting the efforts of others, that as many people as possible do hear the Gospel.
Doesn't matter since they're still Catholic. Feelings don't change that fact
@@csongorarpad4670 all Catholics should baptize their infants themselves, not making them Catholic but letting their children decide for themselves if they want to be Catholic, when they are much older. This would give their child the right to marry wherever they want and the marriage would be valid. Problem solved
I'm wrestling with the choice of celebrating the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass on a Sunday or attending a Protestants wedding. They are both Protestants and have never been married before. I am close to one of them but the other one I would do for because of my association with the one I am closer to. I told my wife I would not go to the wedding because of my obligation to our Lord but I am afraid that my Protestant friends will not understand.
Yes.
In two days i recognize my 24th wedding anniversary (thank you, thank you)! As a young adult I rejected religion (after 18 years of Catholicism crammed down my throat) which compelled me to elope sparing my devout family from this wrenching conundrum.
Too much philosophy, not enough human experience. I am divorced but never remarried, because I fully believe that my sacrament was valid and unbreakable. All of my daughters were baptized in the Catholic Church, but were not confirmed. Only one of them has even considered getting married. She's found a loving young man with a strong, supportive, loving but agnostic family, and they are being married in a respectfully solemn civil ceremony. I have explained that her marriage is essentially a civil contract and as such I am willing to be there as mother of the bride as long as the ceremony is not treated as a circus. There are other tales I could tell; showing up despite disagreeing is a better way of loving than creating distance and emotional pain.
Would you attend a same sex marriage 'in the name of love'?
Agree. I just went through something similar with my brother. He's no longer a practicing Catholic, but his new wife and their family are practicing evangelical protestant, so a "Bible Church" pastor married them. We attended (my husband was best man, actually), because we knew if we didn't it'd be the end of the relationship and it seemed like it'd make it even less likely he'll eventually come "home." My practicing Catholic parents and siblings made the same call.
We pray for them a lot, and I really feel we made the best possible choice we could have.
@@apracity7672 no, because that's not a marriage. A civil marriage between a man and woman is a marriage, just not a sacramental one.
@@JP2GiannaT I know, I was replying to Jean because she said "showing up despite disagreeing is a better way of loving than creating distance and emotional pain" so I replied with the same sex situation to see if her answer would be the same. Best regards
@@apracity7672 first of all, a "gay marriage" is also a civil contract because of how the government is going to deal with property rights, healthcare, and yes, child custody. There are a whole lot of non-sacramental marriages in the world, especially among divorced and remarried couples. But we've lost track of the main argument--the point was if the couple included a lapsed Catholic, which I think does make a difference.Still, to answer your question: all of my gay friends know that I am a practicing Catholic, and they are very unlikely to invite me to their any of their ceremonies. When asked (by anyone) I always explain the Church teaching on human sexuality with love and compassion. Even so, I have lost some friends over this issue. Others have heard me out and we have continued to be friends. I still say it--love and humanity trumps philosophy in my experience. Perhaps that's because a young and insensitive priest delayed my conversion to Catholicism by about 6come years by his knee-jerk to my 18 year old self. He rightly but abruptly told me I couldn't receive communion, and made no attempt whatever to make me feel welcome or give any suggestions to learn more about the faith. Sorry for the length, but this is important.
Many of my peers. Also...recently heard someone talking about their confirmation class years earlier, and how a friend, whose name was James, searched all over to find a St. Bond, so that his name would be James Bond. Silly.
If St Bond was an actual saint, and years later James realise how virtuous St Bond is, I wouldn’t complain.
Short answer:
No.
I didn't choose to be baptised, have never practiced or believed in God, and to marry in a Catholic Church would be insincere on my part. What are people like me supposed to do?