The continuity you point out between Sense and Sensibility and Pride and Prejudice is so accurate. In Mrs Dashwood we had a mother who wanted her daughters to marry, but was happy for it to take its own course and not to pry, which for Marianne was almost disastrous. Mrs Bennet is almost a response to that, she's so over-involved that she causes her own problems. After these two books, Austen gives up on her heroines having mothers around!
Thank you so much for this video (and all your "Let's talk about..." videos and all your videos in general, really)! I read S&S before reading P&P, so I never thought Mrs. Bennet was silly or ridiculous for being worried about what will happened to the women of the family after Mr. Bennet's dead. She shows a lot more sense than Mr. Bennet, actually, on that point. Also, I prefer the representation of her in the 2005 movie adaptation as well. I feel that in the 1995 mini series they felt in the usual (at that time) trend of showing the "support characters" in a caricaturesque way, perhaps to add a comedy touch to the movie/series but also to enphasize the "good qualities" of the main characters. They did the same with Caroline Bingley and with Mr. Collins in that mini series and the same trend can be seen with Lady Dalrymple and her daughter and Sir Elliot and Elizabeth in Persuasion from 1995. Anyways, I'm rambling now. Thank you again! I'd love to see a video like this one on Willoughby next year, as you mentioned on your previous video 🙂. Have a great weekend!
Another great video. Thanks Katie. I think Mrs. Bennet is practical in that she knows it’s essential for her daughters to marry well, but she goes about it in almost a desperate manner. I also think she is very jealous of the favoritism toward Elizabeth by Mr. Bennet. I almost think Elizabeth became the companion to her husband that Mrs. Bennet was not. Thanks for another great Jane Austen July. 💕
I loved this! What you had to say about Mrs Bennet being the sensible one and Mr Bennet the silly one when it came to Mr Collins was so good! Also, I love how you always take your ideas directly from the text, and explore the meaning of Austen's words 😊
I love Dr. Cox. I've been following her channel for over a year. Your analysis of Mrs. Bennet's character was enlightening and I thoroughly enjoyed your efforts. 👏🏼👏🏼
She will marry him once Charlotte dies in childbirth. I think JA was asked about what happened to Mary, and she suggested she would marry a lawyer's clerk, perhaps Mr. Phillips's. I think that would make a lot of sense really as well, someone who was bookish and ambitious.
@@kahkah1986 I like her marrying a law clerk. I think she deserves better than Mr. Collins. Honestly I ship her with the Creature/Adam Frankenstein though so I don't know if my opinion is reliable.
Charlotte is very capable and as such better for Mr Collins than Mary would have been. Mary would have worshipped him and indulged his worst tendancies, Charlottes is able to temper these inclinations and her good sense is likely to prevail and that might be the making of him...
The problem with Mrs. Bennet isn't that she wants to get her children married off and secure a future for her and them but the problem is her foolishness consistently has her working against her own goal. She brazenly admits to pushing Jane toward Mr. Bingley not only jeopardizing their relationship but possibly chasing away other suitors. She goes behind both her daughter and her husband's back to scheme for Lizzy to marry Mr. Collins. Understand she has no power to push a marriage forward and it would do well to at least get some idea of how both feel about a potential marriage between the two. Thus it ends in disaster. She would have been far wiser to push somebody like Mary forward as a potential wife of Mr. Collins. She encourages her youngest two daughters to constantly flirt with officers and encourages her youngest who is clearly not ready for society to go to Brighton with what could barely be called a chaperone. Of course this almost ruins the family. The fact that everything ends well for her is more based on luck and the fact that the daughter she disdains the most and overlooks aids considerably in their future. It is certainly not based on anything she does. I would also like to point out that what a very shallow creature she truly is. If the security of her daughters was her main concern then why does she remark when Jane and Bingley get engaged that she knew her beauty was not for nothing. Also, when finding out that Lizzy and Darcy are engaged she doesn't remark how Lizzy will never have to worry about her future but instead remarks about how much pin money and jewels she will have? She truly doesn't see the true worth in anything.
Well said, buddy, but you're just a guy. But if we're going to beat up Mr. Bennet for being cruel, uncaring, and inattentive to the needs of spouse and daughters, we should also mention Mrs. Bennet's callous disregard for Lizzie's happiness and count against her ignoring Mary and showing her not so sotto voce contempt for any but Jane and Lydia.
when I saw the title of this video, this line When Mrs. Bennett says : “”Well,” cried her mother, “it is all very right; who should do it but her own uncle? If he had not had a family of his own, I and my children must have had all his money, you know; and it is the first time we have ever had anything from him, except a few presents…” immediately came to mind. When I first read this I remember being embarrassed as someone could hear her (as I’m reading In my head 😅) . I find her to be very interesting and when I think of Pride and Prejudice she’s pops into my head before the other characters.
I've found with learning more about the time period and rereading Pride and Prejudice several times I came to understand Mrs. Bennet a lot more and the sympathize with her situation.
This discussion is so interesting. I have a couple of new thoughts about Mrs. B. I never thought about her age. If she had no more pregnancies after Lydia and she is in her early 40s that means she either stopped getting pregnant in her mid 20s (unlikely) or she had several still births (more likely considering the era) and they were advised she should not try for more children. A woman in that day who could not bear a son was considered a failure as a wife. Think of the pressure she must have felt at 25 years old! I feel very compassionate towards her, myself. If they have not shared a bed for 15 years that would certainly explain Mr. B's frustration with his wife and the failed relationship, but it could also explain her becoming a hypochondriac. It was very unusual in that day for all of a couple's children to survive beyond age 5. There is certainly no evidence for this in the book, it's just an idea I had to explain why a healthy married woman would stop becoming pregnant at age 25 or 26. I always assumed she was ten years older and naturally became unable to become pregnant in her late 30s.
The book says they did go on trying for a son for some time after Lydia's birth until it became clear that it wasn't going to happen - perhaps early menopause. So Mr Bennet's disrespect for her didn't stop him having 'conjugal rights' with his still attractive wife.
I believe that it's a perspective imposed to us by both mr and mrs Bennett in the time of their biggest disagreements that they have a bad marriage but in reality they are not really harmful or bad to one another just act both as annoyed children with each other, I believe deep down this was the thing other novels call as true spark and love flame cause in the end their relationship is always interesting and comical and never boring neither really strained seriously damaged. They will never get bored with each other and well 5 kids don't come from a vacuum many couples of their class (upper class) in the regency times were having 2 or 3 kids and then husband and wife didn't have relations of this kind. Well yes they wanted a heir but I can see a spark there too which even Jane Austen was too prudish to describe.
@@katiejlumsden well yes they are not harmonious but I know numerous couples like them who even if not intellectually matched they have happy lives and at the end of the day take care of each other. I also have noticed that men "know it all" who perceive themselves as the epitome of intellectuality end up marrying women very practical and not at all intellectual maybe it's what they miss or maybe it's karma for sure it makes a great literally device and it's not like tragic mismatch but more comical one
Just butting in to say hi and to suggest that there are some wonderful videos on youtube that do a great job talking about the social and historical context of Jane Austen's novels, context which makes them seem even more enjoyable and clever. Doctor Octavia Cox does some great close readings and in-depth analyses as well as broader discussions of the cultural context, and Ellie Dashwood has done a lot of fun, accessible videos about things like courtship and marriage in the Regency, class and position in the era, what the heck an entail is anyway, etc.
An important factor that can be overlooked in our time is the pressures Mrs Bennett had to produce an heir. When that didn't happen, she had "failed " in her duty. Thus, her next duty was to ensure each of her daughters married well. If this did not happen, she would have "failed " again. Another factor was that they did not hire a governess. This would have given both her daughters and herself a better education than she received. This could have helped her marriage and her relationship with the girls
I've always felt sorry for Mrs Bennet, honestly. Maybe I'm biased because my father was constantly belittling my mother and his children, but I've always winced at the idea that Mr Bennet's reaction to realizing that Mrs Bennet was pretty and nothing else was to constantly insult and bait her (when, legally, she was TRAPPED in that marriage). She's had to put up with that for 20+ years, and also has to deal with the fact that, because her husband never bothered to provide for their children, they are almost certainly doomed to a future of abject poverty (poverty then was LOT worse than poverty now, too, and carried a huge social stigma as well as being miserable and often fatal). At that point, I think I'd be prone to anxiety, histrionics, and relentlessly shameless attempts to get my daughters well-married, too. She was probably perfectly charming, if a little simple-minded, as a young woman. 20+ years being trapped in a marriage with a man who dislikes her and loves putting her down and riling her up must have taken their toll. I've been called "dishonest" in the past for calling it verbal abuse, but that's exactly what it is, and she has absolutely zero recourse. She is completely in his power and has no escape. Sadly, she probably considers herself lucky that he's not physically abusive (which would have been perfectly legal at the time, let's not forget), and so does her best to put up with his emotional mistreatment because she knows it could be so much worse. So for 20+ years, she's put up with being called stupid and silly and who knows what else, doesn't talk back, is implied to be useless, and probably has an inferiority complex for the lack of a son. How can anyone NOT pity the poor woman, even if she is loud and unsophisticated?
Well said! I agree with you 100%. Rather than reflect on HIS choice he punishes her for just being herself. She is who she is and he chose to marry her. He doesn't hold himself in any way responsible for being captivated by her looks without paying more attention to his need for a wife that he could converse with. He takes no responsibility for the part he played in that. Or for the part he ought to play in the successful future of his daughters. As long as he's left alone in his study he's happy, he doesn't concern himself with very much else.
@@ellie698 We are going to go around in circles agreeing with each other, aren't we? 😅 But, really, as a father of girls in that era, he had ONE JOB and he just shrugged it off on a toss of dice. And when he says so to Lizzie, he doesn't act remotely guilty about it, let alone having an "oh, God, what have I done?" moment like most parents would have. He doesn't seem to care about much of anything beyond peace and quiet, and having someone to make fun of. My best friend once said (or the 2005 version, I think) "he reminds me of my grandfather" and my response was "dear gods, I hope your grandfather was nothing like that!" She was really confused until I started breaking down his behavior point by point, then she amended "Okay, so maybe Kiefer Sutherland reminds me of my grandfather..."
@@Katherine_The_Okay Haha indeed we are! It's so good to meet someone who sees the reality of this character though. As you say, he had one job!! And failed spectacularly at it!
I don't think Catherine Morland and Henry Tilney would wind up like the Bennetts, if only because Henry enjoys enlightening her. And Henry's understanding of muslin/closeness to his sister suggests that he's more sympathetic to the female perspective than your average Regency fellow.
I agree Catherine Morland is my favourite heroine So I was surprised to hear Katie say this Henry likes teaching her stuff as well as teasing But it's in a very affectionate way As you do see in lots of healthy marriages now And I'm sure in Jane's time
I'm not sure Mr. Bennet isn't being sensible about Mr. Collins really, at least on some level. An unhappy marriage, when Elizabeth openly disrespects him even in the supposed honeymoon period, is just a recipe for a miserably short life anyway. Mrs. Bennet does have nervous problems, and partly it is bc of her unhappy marriage setup, where Mr. Bennet hasn't bothered to save for his daughters and gives her much of the emotional labor of arranging marriages on the cheap. She had an ok dowry and marriage settlement herself, Mr. Bennet was on paper a good catch, but she wasn't really brought up to make those kind of negotiations re the Bingleys, that is supposed to be Mr. Bennet's job really, whereas she is the one who is supposed to be asking the 'but do you really love him?' questions. I think we today read this as rounding the characters in a believable way, and we respond emotionally to the way the parents have kind of swapped roles, so the Mr. Bennet is more emotionally literate and Mrs. Bennet is the financial boss, but maybe the 19th century reader would have read this as more obviously chaos? Divorce and separation did actually happen during this time period, but it was much more traumatic; Mr. Bennet is right to suggest an ominous warning about this, as Mr. Collins turns out to be pretty heavy handed with his remarks about Lydia etc. Jane assumes he isn't vicious, but we actually don't know that. Even in SS, when Dashwood girls' lives are obviously made much more difficult by terrible inheritance laws, they are not entirely forgotten about or friendless. Life would be still be bad for Miss Bates if she had a husband who actively abused her, or like Mr. Bennet bullied her; the one time Emma tries it on, she is stamped down by Miss Bates's friends. Mr. Bennet, as a man, who has always had inherited wealth, may be overconfident about the financial side of things, but he is being sensible about the emotional toll unhappy marriages have, they cannot be denied away either just for financial reasons.
Poor Mrs. Bennet, she was upset all the time because of the "entail" if it were not for the "entail" she would be alright. She really didn't know what she was doing when she had 5 daughters instead at least one son.
Brilliant, as always & enjoyed every minute of it. You've made me slightly more sympathetic towards Mrs B. Fantastic comparison between Mrs B and Lady Catherine, AND I would point out that Mrs B succeeds in getting 3 of her daughters married and Lady Catherine's design to marry her own daughter fails miserably. When you have a chance you should watch the 1979/80 mini-series--that Mrs B is not quite so over the top (and has a very good screenplay written by Fay Weldon.)
Thank you for this. I love this sot of discussion. Is class the reason that Lady Catherine de Bourgh gets to keep the use of her first name versus Mrs Bennet?
Thank you for your videos which I have watched for a number of years. I appreciate your insights although I do not always agree 100 %. I too am very fond of Austen and Trollope but less so of Dickens. I have just rewatched your ‘Framley Parsonage’ and watched ‘Mrs Bennet’ and appreciate your points of view without being bothered as to the length of it. One of the benefits of UA-cam is that I can slow down your delivery to 75 % for easier listening which I sometimes do.
Thanks very much! My newer videos are already slowed down to 85% in editing, so you're actually watching my videos at about 65% XD I know I talk too fast!
The first time I read Pride and Prejudice I was young, childless, and unmarried. Mrs. Bennet did not interest me in the least. I have recently reread it, and now, as a married woman with three daughters, I tend to identify with Mrs. Bennet a little and like her quite a bit. It may be the 21st century, but I think parents, and especially mothers, know that one's choice of a marriage partner (or if to marry at all) is perhaps the most important choice we make in life. For me, Mrs. Bennet embodies that sentiment, regardless of the century. Loved your video and all the others I have watched. Thanks for posting!
I have mixed feelings about Mrs.Bennet. On the one hand her poor manners (talking loudly about others when they are within earshot haha) causes me to feel frustrated on behalf of her family. Yet, she speaks her mind because she felt her daughter had been slighted and no doubt the pressure of feeling she has to get her daughters married in order to avoid a life of poverty certainly does weigh upon her poor nerves. In some ways we're led to believe her a "weak" person in that she takes to her bed with nerves and such, and I do feel a bit annoyed at her, but on the other hand I might take to my bed also if I was dealing with everything she was lol.
They have got money Only a lady of the house with money could afford to do this And not as often as fanny price aunt Who is always lying on her daybed Letting Mrs Norris, her other aunt do the mothering (very badly)
One thing I have been wondering is why has there not been more children after Lydia. Lydia is fifteen and Mrs Bennet maybe about 40 during the happenings in the book - so in time of Lydia´s birth she would have been only 25. They are in dire need of a male heir - have they stopped trying (are their marital relations that bad already) or is Mrs Bennet just for some reason not getting pregnant anymore.
Mrs. Bennet does have a line in the 2005 film where she tells Lizzy just you wait until you have 5 daughters to marry off. She is not crazy for being concerned. Mr. Bennet was pretty negligent as a financial planner and parent.
I would be more charitable with Mrs Bennett if she wasn't mean and self serving with her children's happiness. She's perfectly willing to try to force her daughter to marry a horrible man so that she doesn't have to leave Longbourn when her husband dies. That her daughters care about her and wouldn't see her homeless or living like Mrs. Bates in Emma if they can help it, doesn't matter to her. She's only placated by a couple of them marrying richly enough that she can continue in liesure. She wants what she wants and her children are her tools for achieving it and she's not smart enough to realize that.
Addendum: it was not too long, it was great. My main problem with Mrs. Bennet is not with her silliness, but in the ruthless venality and selfishness beneath that. I do NOT admire her character.
I can see why Mrs. Bennet may not like Elizabeth Bennet that much considering the 2005 film version we have this exchange between them: Mrs Bennet: People do not die of colds Elizabeth Bennet: Though she may well perish with the shame of having such a mother. I just think that comment from Elizabeth was kind of mean...
I have also become much more sympathetic of Mrs Bennett. I read Longbourn this July and while I think Jo Baker gets some of the characters wrong, I do like how she handled Mrs Bennett and it opened my eyes to why Mrs Bennett thinks how she does and does what she does. Then I reread Pride and Prejudice and it was entirely different experience as I liked Mrs Bennett so much more and disliked Mr Bennett so much more! This was an excellent video
To be fair, I'll have to read Jo Baker before commenting much. I would point out, however, that Ms. Baker is a 21st century women from a time that has very little good to say about men. OF COURSE she would defend Mrs. Bennet. Try to impartially assess how JA presents the FULL story arc of Mrs. Bennet, recall who Lizzie confides in, and whether either parent really learns or grows much. Mr. Bennet at least admits he should have been more firm and involved with Lydia, but he immediately accepts Lizzie's confession of her love and regard for Darcy at face value. He didn't want her to make the same mistake he did. That shows at least a little reflection and understanding.
@@kevinrussell1144 Actually, I don't think Jo Baker was defending Mrs Bennet (although you'd have to ask her). Moreso, that she explored Mrs Bennet's situation in a way that made me more sympathetic to her. It's anachronistic to overlay 21st values onto a book written in the Georgian period, but I do think modern retellings can help current-day readers better understand the people of those periods. Provided the writer actually understands the period, I suppose. I wonder what you would think of Longbourn. My opinion is 1) it still protrays Mrs Bennet as overly dramatic and silly but much more sympathetic (which I thought was fair) and 2) it protrays Mr Bennet as much more neglectful and dishonourable (which I did NOT think was fair or true to the character).
@@FullyBookedMelissa Thanks for the thoughtful reply. I think you're saying I should read the book. I will. As you might guess, I love women, like listening to them, don't understand them, but have not given up trying. UA-cam is an eye-opener. The book portion is MOSTLY women. It's a busman's holiday for someone who likes being on buses.
I thought Mrs Bennet was really badly treated in Longbourn, surely as mistress of the house she should have had lots of contact with the servants, but she has hardly any; she is treated like an irritant, and at the end of that novel I feel she is potrayed as an inconvenient annoyance, while Mr. Bennet gets a sense of connection and redemption which he doesn't deserve (sorry, being vague to avoid spoilers)
My opinion on my Mrs. Bennet has changed over time and I have become more sympathetic towards her, but The Other Bennet Sister made me more frustrated and annoyed with her. The way she treats Mary bothers me and it's worse because Mary is around Mrs.Bennet all the time. She means well, but her approach is harsh.
Maybe Mrs Bennett also is ill inclined to Elizabeth because she knows that Mr Bennett values Elizabeth because of her intelligence. Intelligence and wittiness seem to be the only things that Mr Bennett respects and values. This could and should be taken by Mrs Bennett as a personal insult, as Mr Bennett is devaluing all of her strengths (looks, liveliness, sociability). This means she instinctively devalues intelligence in her children as a self defense tool.
Mrs. Bennet was annoying and had bad manners sometimes, but she actually cared about her daughters so much. Meanwhile, Mr. Bennet didn't give a shit about his daughters, he only favored the oldest ones and literally neglected the younger ones.
She's goofy, due to the panic of having _five!_ count 'em _five!_ daughters who need to be married off. The novel is largely a comedy (the first sentence indicates the novel is to be read as a comedy), and she is a key character as such. Mrs. Bennett and Lady Catherine de Bourgh are the two goofy sides of the same comedic coin.
You're right! Lady Catherine is so confident that she lacks self-awareness, whereas Mrs. Bennet is so neurotic that she lacks self-confidence. Similarly, Mr. Bennet and Mr. Collins are opposites in terms of how much they care about the details: Mr. Collins obsesses over details of no interest or import, whereas Mr. Bennet leaves important family matters unaddressed. The four of them form an interesting tetrad. If you add Elizabeth and Darcy to the set, you get a structure much like Friends (i.e. a man, a woman, his neurotic friend, her neurotic friend, his ditzy friend, her ditzy friend). In this analogy, Mr. and Mrs. Bennet's characters are the basis for Joey and Monica. This has got to be the silliest argument I've made seriously.
Mr. Bennet is a classic covert narcissist. Thats the hill I will die on. Mrs. Bennet gives an impression of not liking Elizabeth because Mr. Bennet favors her in front of the other daughters. Mrs. Bennet has to defend the rest of the family. And, very important, Elizabeth treats her just like Mr. Bennet does.
Your comment that everyone loves Elizabeth Bennet struck me because I don't. I may feel sorry for her and understand the circumstances that led to her acerbic and self-righteous character, but I don't like her. She is like her father and imperious toward her mother and others. I don't like her or her father. Unlike her father, Elizabeth Bennet improves by the end of the novel but I suspect she is no less conceited in general. She never seems to clue in to the cruelty of her father. She is not expected to. It's rare for anyone to see any parent in the cold light of reason, but it does render her unlikable in my estimation.
Mrs Bennet is a much better parent than Mr Bennet. He is an AWFUL father. He does nothing at all of his own volition to make his daughters more marriageable
THANK YOU! Very few people ever seem willing to acknowledge that fact. Mr Better is a terrible father on many levels but whenever I say so, I tend to get people jumping to his defense because they love his humor and sarcasm. They seem to forget that (in addition to never having made a single provision for the future of his children), he is constantly turning that sarcasm against his children as well as his wife. No wonder his older girls are terrified of marrying the wrong guy and the younger will do anything for any kind of attention they can get that isn't being insulted.
@@Katherine_The_Okay He tends to be played as a very kindly, good humoured person in dramatisations, the 1995 BBC version is the one I'm most familiar with. He uses humour and is kind towards Elizabeth so we are led to like him. But if you actually get past this, you realise he really isn't a very pleasant person at all. Just as Elizabeth realises she was taken in by Wickham, as we get to know him more throughout the book, WE realise we need to adjust our view of Mr Bennet. We're prejudiced to like him because he seems amusing and affable, whereas in reality he's bitter, utterly selfish, unconcerned about the material reality for his daughters after his death and really quite cruel. Jane and Elizabeth marry well more by luck than by anything he has done and he's useless when it comes to Lydia too. If Darcy hasn't intervened heaven knows what would have happened to her. Wickham wouldn't have married her without a substantial amount of financial incentive, that he would be unable to give, nor probably would be skilful enough to negotiate. It took a few re readings before I was able to see him for what he is. He's well written. Austen's texts just get richer the more you read them if you pay close attention!
@@ellie698 I agree 100%. Austen is a masterful writer and modern presentations kind of oversimplify both Mr and Mrs Bennet by playing up poor, longsuffering Mr Bennet, having to put up with a wife like *that* etc etc. But you have to wonder, especially give this video's point about how young she likely was when they married, how much he contributed to her being the way she ended up after 20+ years of verbal abuse and watching her children get neglected and doomed to a life of poverty. He's a cruel, neglectful man in the source text and doesn't even try to hide that fact. When we see him through the eyes of the only daughter he actually seems to care about, a lot of that can be ignored or brushed over, but even Lizzie comes to accept that his public behavior towards his wife and children is not okay. Why readers and movie makers don't is beyond me.
@@ellie698 💙 Thank you. I once got called "intellectually dishonest" for suggesting that Mr Bennet is a bit abusive but what else can you call a man who abuses his legal position of absolute authority over people to make them miserable? And who is so brazen that he doesn't even mind doing it in public? You don't have to beat a person to cause significant pain and anguish, and it's almost crueler to do it in the guise of joking around.
Women were not supposed to be clever and were encouraged to be airheads. I have alwys thought Mr. Bennett was a bit of a bad catch. So long as He was fine he didn't seem to worry about his daughters future or anything else . I think after Lizzie was born he lost interest in the other girls. Why did they not get an education to Lizzies standard? He proposed to hjis wife, not the other way round, not getting married wasn't an option cor a woman. I have always disliked Mr. Bennett. If you think about it, the Bronte's had similar problems with their father and lack of financial provision. Then there is Cranford too,
This is excellent content. You have not changed my mind, but I’m trying to be more sympathetic. Consider me a (useful?) levelling agent to the mostly female chorus that agrees with you. I wonder if this really is a gender-bias issue? Unfortunately, I am too prejudiced to judge that. I have always had a difficult time with “Jane Gardiner as was” (THAT was delightful and very perceptive on your part), and even a third reading of the book has not much altered my opinion of Mrs. Bennet. I agree, it was NOT a good marriage and Mr. Bennet’s playful contempt is a horrible example to set for his daughters. But I cut Mr. Bennet considerable slack (yeah, yeah, just because I’m a guy) for what I consider defensible reasons. He (Mr. Bennet) is not, in my opinion, the horrible father many modern readers make him into. Yes, he is weak in some ways, but he is not a monster. He has FIVE daughters with his spouse (he must have liked some things about her), he is not a spendthrift or gambler, does NOT step out on her, decently educated the daughters that could benefit from it and likely paid for lessons to enhance, did NOT piss away their dowries, and he obviously still admirers his wife in some ways. I teased my wife too much when we were first married, not because of contempt (she’s smarter than I am AND better looking), but because she was shy and I liked her (still do). Men rarely tease women they don’t admire (take it from me for what it’s worth). It would be fun, as others have surmised, to sit down with JA and hear what she REALLY thought of these characters. Mr. B. is closest to Lizzie, admires Jane (likely in the same--I mean a non-creepy-- way he admired “his” Jane), and he put in what time could be found for the other three. His relationship with Mary was sad, and the two younger ones were likely viewed as inferior products. We can guess he viewed Mrs. Bennet’s highest regard for Lydia as confirmation of his own final assessment of his own wife’s inability to observe and correctly value what she sees. I think your attempted defense of Mrs. Bennet’s behavior around the Lydia affair, the initial affront to Lizzie, the Collins caper, and the wrap up, can all be viewed as your own gender bias. She was more at fault than Mr. Bennet for allowing Lydia to display herself and set herself up as a pigeon, she was much more affronted by what Darcy was implying about her (Mrs. B.) than defending Lizzie, and Mrs. Bennet so disliked (was jealous of?) and undervalued Lizzie that she was perfectly happy to throw her over to a fool, if it would better feather her own nest. Finally, I just don’t see that Mrs. Bennet ever learns from her experiences. She still thinks Wickham is a good catch at the end, and she’s mainly happy (in my estimation) because everything worked out well for HER. Sure, we can blame the way she and her sister out (silly and poorly informed) on poorer educational opportunities compared to the brother, but I don’t think that holds much water. Jane, Lizzie, and Lydia ALL grew up under the same roof, received similar education, and all had their share of beauty. Lydia went bad (primarily) because of her own lack of character. You can’t keep ALWAYS blaming that on someone else. And Catherine Moreland (to jump to another shark) did NOT follow the path of Isabella Thorpe (or Lydia) because, while young and innocent, had a better foundation and character. I don’t think she’ll be another Mrs. Bennet. Catherine actually grew wiser from experience, as young as she was. You might also consider how Jane Hadlow paints Mrs. Bennet in her astute “fan fiction” The Other Bennet Sister. The portrait is not at all favorable to “Jane Gardiner”. Sorry for the length of this, but like you, I am obsessed with Jane Austen. I very much appreciate and enjoy your videos.
I think one of the interesting things about Mr Bennet for me is that he is presented as a bad father (he blames himself in part for Lydia's behaviour, and Jane Austen seems to agree he is to blame) but not in the same light as most of the bad fathers in other novels from the time. In those, bad fathers are often tyrannical, whereas Mr Bennet is the opposite, too lax and not caring enough. I think Mr Bennet can be read in a lot of different ways too. I think the problem with the way he speaks to her is not the teasing so much as the fact that she often doesn't really understand his teasing. I loved The Other Bennet Sister but thought the author much too harsh both on Mrs Bennet and Charlotte Lucas.
@@katiejlumsden Thanks, and you’re correct. These characters can be “read” in multiple ways. That’s why Jane’s books still fascinate. The psychology of Janice Hadlow would be a good study. She does NOT like Mrs. Bennet (neither do I), and the Charlotte Lucas we see in her book is even more mercenary and interested than Jane’s version. In fact, the ONLY women in the book that receive full sympathy and approval are Mrs. Gardiner, and Mary herself, and Janice doesn’t even hide Mary’s beginning warts. I am fascinated by how women view other women when their shields come down, but then, I’m a guy. Many times I don’t really “get it”, although I tell myself I might be on the right track. Lady Susan tells me that even at 19, Jane Austen could see what was underneath the mask most people wear. She witnessed and understood women like Lady Vernon. For all the silliness and shallow banter of Jane Gardiner, as was, Janice Hadlow also claimed to see something else more sinister under the “silly Mrs. Bennet" mask. Her Charlotte is also petty, very turf defensive, as well as highly motivated to get ahead. I thought her portrayal believable. Not everyone is as accepting, sweet and tolerant as you.
Mr Benne, secluded with his books, lazy, detached, and disdainful, made no effort to guide his daughters and educate them decently, and then launch them into a wider society. If a rich young bachelor hadn't happened to arrive, they were at risk of becoming homeless old maids, or marrying beneath them in Meryton.. Mrs Bennet had try to do what her husband failed to attempt.
Wonderfully interesting! My theory of why the Bennets could not have a son after five daughters: Mr. Bennet was unfaithful and brought back an STI that made his wife barren. There is nothing in the book in that sense, but there is nothing to contradict it either.
Interesting thought! Although I've always thought the line 'But Mr. Bennet was not of a disposition to seek comfort for the disappointment which his own imprudence had brought on, in any of those pleasures which too often console the unfortunate for their folly or their vice.' was Jane Austen subtly saying that he didn't have affairs XD
The continuity you point out between Sense and Sensibility and Pride and Prejudice is so accurate. In Mrs Dashwood we had a mother who wanted her daughters to marry, but was happy for it to take its own course and not to pry, which for Marianne was almost disastrous. Mrs Bennet is almost a response to that, she's so over-involved that she causes her own problems. After these two books, Austen gives up on her heroines having mothers around!
Good point!
Thank you so much for this video (and all your "Let's talk about..." videos and all your videos in general, really)! I read S&S before reading P&P, so I never thought Mrs. Bennet was silly or ridiculous for being worried about what will happened to the women of the family after Mr. Bennet's dead. She shows a lot more sense than Mr. Bennet, actually, on that point.
Also, I prefer the representation of her in the 2005 movie adaptation as well. I feel that in the 1995 mini series they felt in the usual (at that time) trend of showing the "support characters" in a caricaturesque way, perhaps to add a comedy touch to the movie/series but also to enphasize the "good qualities" of the main characters. They did the same with Caroline Bingley and with Mr. Collins in that mini series and the same trend can be seen with Lady Dalrymple and her daughter and Sir Elliot and Elizabeth in Persuasion from 1995. Anyways, I'm rambling now.
Thank you again! I'd love to see a video like this one on Willoughby next year, as you mentioned on your previous video 🙂. Have a great weekend!
Next year is going to be the Willoughby year :)
Another great video. Thanks Katie. I think Mrs. Bennet is practical in that she knows it’s essential for her daughters to marry well, but she goes about it in almost a desperate manner. I also think she is very jealous of the favoritism toward Elizabeth by Mr. Bennet. I almost think Elizabeth became the companion to her husband that Mrs. Bennet was not. Thanks for another great Jane Austen July. 💕
I loved this! What you had to say about Mrs Bennet being the sensible one and Mr Bennet the silly one when it came to Mr Collins was so good! Also, I love how you always take your ideas directly from the text, and explore the meaning of Austen's words 😊
I love Dr. Cox. I've been following her channel for over a year. Your analysis of Mrs. Bennet's character was enlightening and I thoroughly enjoyed your efforts. 👏🏼👏🏼
Dr Cox is wonderful!
I wish Mary had married Mr. Collins. It makes sense. I would love to discuss that with Jane if I could.
She will marry him once Charlotte dies in childbirth.
I think JA was asked about what happened to Mary, and she suggested she would marry a lawyer's clerk, perhaps Mr. Phillips's. I think that would make a lot of sense really as well, someone who was bookish and ambitious.
@@kahkah1986 I like her marrying a law clerk. I think she deserves better than Mr. Collins. Honestly I ship her with the Creature/Adam Frankenstein though so I don't know if my opinion is reliable.
Charlotte is very capable and as such better for Mr Collins than Mary would have been. Mary would have worshipped him and indulged his worst tendancies, Charlottes is able to temper these inclinations and her good sense is likely to prevail and that might be the making of him...
I always laugh alone by myself when I remember Mrs Bennett talking about her "poor nerves" 😹😹 I don't know why that is so bloody funny to me
The problem with Mrs. Bennet isn't that she wants to get her children married off and secure a future for her and them but the problem is her foolishness consistently has her working against her own goal. She brazenly admits to pushing Jane toward Mr. Bingley not only jeopardizing their relationship but possibly chasing away other suitors. She goes behind both her daughter and her husband's back to scheme for Lizzy to marry Mr. Collins. Understand she has no power to push a marriage forward and it would do well to at least get some idea of how both feel about a potential marriage between the two. Thus it ends in disaster. She would have been far wiser to push somebody like Mary forward as a potential wife of Mr. Collins. She encourages her youngest two daughters to constantly flirt with officers and encourages her youngest who is clearly not ready for society to go to Brighton with what could barely be called a chaperone. Of course this almost ruins the family. The fact that everything ends well for her is more based on luck and the fact that the daughter she disdains the most and overlooks aids considerably in their future. It is certainly not based on anything she does.
I would also like to point out that what a very shallow creature she truly is. If the security of her daughters was her main concern then why does she remark when Jane and Bingley get engaged that she knew her beauty was not for nothing. Also, when finding out that Lizzy and Darcy are engaged she doesn't remark how Lizzy will never have to worry about her future but instead remarks about how much pin money and jewels she will have? She truly doesn't see the true worth in anything.
Well said, buddy, but you're just a guy. But if we're going to beat up Mr. Bennet for being cruel, uncaring, and inattentive to the needs of spouse and daughters, we should also mention Mrs. Bennet's callous disregard for Lizzie's happiness and count against her ignoring Mary and showing her not so sotto voce contempt for any but Jane and Lydia.
when I saw the title of this video, this line When Mrs. Bennett says : “”Well,” cried her mother, “it is all very right; who should do it but her own uncle? If he had not had a family of his own, I and my children must have had all his money, you know; and it is the first time we have ever had anything from him, except a few presents…” immediately came to mind. When I first read this I remember being embarrassed as someone could hear her (as I’m reading In my head 😅) . I find her to be very interesting and when I think of Pride and Prejudice she’s pops into my head before the other characters.
I've found with learning more about the time period and rereading Pride and Prejudice several times I came to understand Mrs. Bennet a lot more and the sympathize with her situation.
This discussion is so interesting. I have a couple of new thoughts about Mrs. B. I never thought about her age. If she had no more pregnancies after Lydia and she is in her early 40s that means she either stopped getting pregnant in her mid 20s (unlikely) or she had several still births (more likely considering the era) and they were advised she should not try for more children. A woman in that day who could not bear a son was considered a failure as a wife. Think of the pressure she must have felt at 25 years old! I feel very compassionate towards her, myself. If they have not shared a bed for 15 years that would certainly explain Mr. B's frustration with his wife and the failed relationship, but it could also explain her becoming a hypochondriac. It was very unusual in that day for all of a couple's children to survive beyond age 5. There is certainly no evidence for this in the book, it's just an idea I had to explain why a healthy married woman would stop becoming pregnant at age 25 or 26. I always assumed she was ten years older and naturally became unable to become pregnant in her late 30s.
I once took a course in Regency era childbirth, sounds about right
The book says they did go on trying for a son for some time after Lydia's birth until it became clear that it wasn't going to happen - perhaps early menopause. So Mr Bennet's disrespect for her didn't stop him having 'conjugal rights' with his still attractive wife.
I believe that it's a perspective imposed to us by both mr and mrs Bennett in the time of their biggest disagreements that they have a bad marriage but in reality they are not really harmful or bad to one another just act both as annoyed children with each other, I believe deep down this was the thing other novels call as true spark and love flame cause in the end their relationship is always interesting and comical and never boring neither really strained seriously damaged. They will never get bored with each other and well 5 kids don't come from a vacuum many couples of their class (upper class) in the regency times were having 2 or 3 kids and then husband and wife didn't have relations of this kind. Well yes they wanted a heir but I can see a spark there too which even Jane Austen was too prudish to describe.
I think there is definitely supposed to be a physical spark between them, but intellectually and emotionally they come across as ill-matched I think.
@@katiejlumsden well yes they are not harmonious but I know numerous couples like them who even if not intellectually matched they have happy lives and at the end of the day take care of each other. I also have noticed that men "know it all" who perceive themselves as the epitome of intellectuality end up marrying women very practical and not at all intellectual maybe it's what they miss or maybe it's karma for sure it makes a great literally device and it's not like tragic mismatch but more comical one
@@katiejlumsden and I love your videos 💖💖 wonderful content!!!💖💖💖
Brilliant dissection of the character as usual
I know they take a while but I like these deeper character analysis videos
Love you “let’s talk about” specially pride and prejudice
I love long videos like this. When the subject is this rich and entertaining, the longer the better 😍😊 it's a treat!!
Thanks :)
Great video for a first time reader of P&P like me. Your hard work is very appreciated!
Just butting in to say hi and to suggest that there are some wonderful videos on youtube that do a great job talking about the social and historical context of Jane Austen's novels, context which makes them seem even more enjoyable and clever. Doctor Octavia Cox does some great close readings and in-depth analyses as well as broader discussions of the cultural context, and Ellie Dashwood has done a lot of fun, accessible videos about things like courtship and marriage in the Regency, class and position in the era, what the heck an entail is anyway, etc.
Seconded - highly recommend any videos by Dr Octavia Cox who is a fantastic resource for anyone reading Austen.
If Mrs Bennett had been cleverer, she would have steered Mr Collins to Mary. But that's the premise of the book: she's not that clever.
An important factor that can be overlooked in our time is the pressures Mrs Bennett had to produce an heir. When that didn't happen, she had "failed " in her duty. Thus, her next duty was to ensure each of her daughters married well. If this did not happen, she would have "failed " again. Another factor was that they did not hire a governess. This would have given both her daughters and herself a better education than she received. This could have helped her marriage and her relationship with the girls
I've always felt sorry for Mrs Bennet, honestly. Maybe I'm biased because my father was constantly belittling my mother and his children, but I've always winced at the idea that Mr Bennet's reaction to realizing that Mrs Bennet was pretty and nothing else was to constantly insult and bait her (when, legally, she was TRAPPED in that marriage). She's had to put up with that for 20+ years, and also has to deal with the fact that, because her husband never bothered to provide for their children, they are almost certainly doomed to a future of abject poverty (poverty then was LOT worse than poverty now, too, and carried a huge social stigma as well as being miserable and often fatal). At that point, I think I'd be prone to anxiety, histrionics, and relentlessly shameless attempts to get my daughters well-married, too.
She was probably perfectly charming, if a little simple-minded, as a young woman. 20+ years being trapped in a marriage with a man who dislikes her and loves putting her down and riling her up must have taken their toll. I've been called "dishonest" in the past for calling it verbal abuse, but that's exactly what it is, and she has absolutely zero recourse. She is completely in his power and has no escape. Sadly, she probably considers herself lucky that he's not physically abusive (which would have been perfectly legal at the time, let's not forget), and so does her best to put up with his emotional mistreatment because she knows it could be so much worse. So for 20+ years, she's put up with being called stupid and silly and who knows what else, doesn't talk back, is implied to be useless, and probably has an inferiority complex for the lack of a son. How can anyone NOT pity the poor woman, even if she is loud and unsophisticated?
Well said!
I agree with you 100%.
Rather than reflect on HIS choice he punishes her for just being herself. She is who she is and he chose to marry her.
He doesn't hold himself in any way responsible for being captivated by her looks without paying more attention to his need for a wife that he could converse with.
He takes no responsibility for the part he played in that. Or for the part he ought to play in the successful future of his daughters.
As long as he's left alone in his study he's happy, he doesn't concern himself with very much else.
@@ellie698 We are going to go around in circles agreeing with each other, aren't we? 😅 But, really, as a father of girls in that era, he had ONE JOB and he just shrugged it off on a toss of dice. And when he says so to Lizzie, he doesn't act remotely guilty about it, let alone having an "oh, God, what have I done?" moment like most parents would have. He doesn't seem to care about much of anything beyond peace and quiet, and having someone to make fun of. My best friend once said (or the 2005 version, I think) "he reminds me of my grandfather" and my response was "dear gods, I hope your grandfather was nothing like that!" She was really confused until I started breaking down his behavior point by point, then she amended "Okay, so maybe Kiefer Sutherland reminds me of my grandfather..."
@@Katherine_The_Okay
Haha indeed we are!
It's so good to meet someone who sees the reality of this character though. As you say, he had one job!! And failed spectacularly at it!
@@ellie698 Pfft, failure would imply he actually *tried^ at some point...
Agreed, agreed, great comments and discussion here :)
Oooooooh, LET'S!!! I always appreciate your insights.
I don't think Catherine Morland and Henry Tilney would wind up like the Bennetts, if only because Henry enjoys enlightening her. And Henry's understanding of muslin/closeness to his sister suggests that he's more sympathetic to the female perspective than your average Regency fellow.
I agree
Catherine Morland is my favourite heroine
So I was surprised to hear Katie say this
Henry likes teaching her stuff as well as teasing
But it's in a very affectionate way
As you do see in lots of healthy marriages now
And I'm sure in Jane's time
I'm not sure Mr. Bennet isn't being sensible about Mr. Collins really, at least on some level. An unhappy marriage, when Elizabeth openly disrespects him even in the supposed honeymoon period, is just a recipe for a miserably short life anyway. Mrs. Bennet does have nervous problems, and partly it is bc of her unhappy marriage setup, where Mr. Bennet hasn't bothered to save for his daughters and gives her much of the emotional labor of arranging marriages on the cheap.
She had an ok dowry and marriage settlement herself, Mr. Bennet was on paper a good catch, but she wasn't really brought up to make those kind of negotiations re the Bingleys, that is supposed to be Mr. Bennet's job really, whereas she is the one who is supposed to be asking the 'but do you really love him?' questions. I think we today read this as rounding the characters in a believable way, and we respond emotionally to the way the parents have kind of swapped roles, so the Mr. Bennet is more emotionally literate and Mrs. Bennet is the financial boss, but maybe the 19th century reader would have read this as more obviously chaos?
Divorce and separation did actually happen during this time period, but it was much more traumatic; Mr. Bennet is right to suggest an ominous warning about this, as Mr. Collins turns out to be pretty heavy handed with his remarks about Lydia etc. Jane assumes he isn't vicious, but we actually don't know that. Even in SS, when Dashwood girls' lives are obviously made much more difficult by terrible inheritance laws, they are not entirely forgotten about or friendless. Life would be still be bad for Miss Bates if she had a husband who actively abused her, or like Mr. Bennet bullied her; the one time Emma tries it on, she is stamped down by Miss Bates's friends. Mr. Bennet, as a man, who has always had inherited wealth, may be overconfident about the financial side of things, but he is being sensible about the emotional toll unhappy marriages have, they cannot be denied away either just for financial reasons.
Poor Mrs. Bennet, she was upset all the time because of the "entail" if it were not for the "entail" she would be alright. She really didn't know what she was doing when she had 5 daughters instead at least one son.
Fortunately attitudes to mental health have improved.
Brilliant, as always & enjoyed every minute of it. You've made me slightly more sympathetic towards Mrs B. Fantastic comparison between Mrs B and Lady Catherine, AND I would point out that Mrs B succeeds in getting 3 of her daughters married and Lady Catherine's design to marry her own daughter fails miserably. When you have a chance you should watch the 1979/80 mini-series--that Mrs B is not quite so over the top (and has a very good screenplay written by Fay Weldon.)
Thanks very much! I must watch the 1979 one some time.
Thank you for this. I love this sot of discussion. Is class the reason that Lady Catherine de Bourgh gets to keep the use of her first name versus Mrs Bennet?
Yes, Lady Catherine is an earl's daughter I think, so she is referred to as Lady Catherine, as is the custom for earl's daughters.
It’s not either/or: Mrs. Bennet is, as others have pointed out, one on Austen’s “monsters”, but she is responding to very real exigencies.
Thank you for your videos which I have watched for a number of years. I appreciate your insights although I do not always agree 100 %. I too am very fond of Austen and Trollope but less so of Dickens.
I have just rewatched your ‘Framley Parsonage’ and watched ‘Mrs Bennet’ and appreciate your points of view without being bothered as to the length of it. One of the benefits of UA-cam is that I can slow down your delivery to 75 % for easier listening which I sometimes do.
Thanks very much! My newer videos are already slowed down to 85% in editing, so you're actually watching my videos at about 65% XD I know I talk too fast!
The first time I read Pride and Prejudice I was young, childless, and unmarried. Mrs. Bennet did not interest me in the least. I have recently reread it, and now, as a married woman with three daughters, I tend to identify with Mrs. Bennet a little and like her quite a bit. It may be the 21st century, but I think parents, and especially mothers, know that one's choice of a marriage partner (or if to marry at all) is perhaps the most important choice we make in life. For me, Mrs. Bennet embodies that sentiment, regardless of the century. Loved your video and all the others I have watched. Thanks for posting!
I have mixed feelings about Mrs.Bennet. On the one hand her poor manners (talking loudly about others when they are within earshot haha) causes me to feel frustrated on behalf of her family. Yet, she speaks her mind because she felt her daughter had been slighted and no doubt the pressure of feeling she has to get her daughters married in order to avoid a life of poverty certainly does weigh upon her poor nerves. In some ways we're led to believe her a "weak" person in that she takes to her bed with nerves and such, and I do feel a bit annoyed at her, but on the other hand I might take to my bed also if I was dealing with everything she was lol.
They have got money
Only a lady of the house with money could afford to do this
And not as often as fanny price aunt
Who is always lying on her daybed
Letting Mrs Norris, her other aunt do the mothering (very badly)
One thing I have been wondering is why has there not been more children after Lydia. Lydia is fifteen and Mrs Bennet maybe about 40 during the happenings in the book - so in time of Lydia´s birth she would have been only 25. They are in dire need of a male heir - have they stopped trying (are their marital relations that bad already) or is Mrs Bennet just for some reason not getting pregnant anymore.
Mrs. Bennet does have a line in the 2005 film where she tells Lizzy just you wait until you have 5 daughters to marry off. She is not crazy for being concerned. Mr. Bennet was pretty negligent as a financial planner and parent.
I do like the 2005 portrayal of her.
In the BBC mini-series, Mrs.Bennet's brother calls her Fanny. But perhaps that's not in the novel?
It isn't, no. Her first name is never given in the novel.
In the 1995 adaption Mr Gardiner calls her Fanny. Am I wrong?
He does, but that has no basis at all in the novel itself. They gave her that name for the adaptation.
I would be more charitable with Mrs Bennett if she wasn't mean and self serving with her children's happiness.
She's perfectly willing to try to force her daughter to marry a horrible man so that she doesn't have to leave Longbourn when her husband dies. That her daughters care about her and wouldn't see her homeless or living like Mrs. Bates in Emma if they can help it, doesn't matter to her. She's only placated by a couple of them marrying richly enough that she can continue in liesure. She wants what she wants and her children are her tools for achieving it and she's not smart enough to realize that.
I loved this so much!!
Addendum: it was not too long, it was great. My main problem with Mrs. Bennet is not with her silliness, but in the ruthless venality and selfishness beneath that. I do NOT admire her character.
Are you saying “unintelligent” when you mean uneducated?
I can see why Mrs. Bennet may not like Elizabeth Bennet that much considering the 2005 film version we have this exchange between them:
Mrs Bennet: People do not die of colds
Elizabeth Bennet: Though she may well perish with the shame of having such a mother.
I just think that comment from Elizabeth was kind of mean...
I have also become much more sympathetic of Mrs Bennett. I read Longbourn this July and while I think Jo Baker gets some of the characters wrong, I do like how she handled Mrs Bennett and it opened my eyes to why Mrs Bennett thinks how she does and does what she does. Then I reread Pride and Prejudice and it was entirely different experience as I liked Mrs Bennett so much more and disliked Mr Bennett so much more! This was an excellent video
To be fair, I'll have to read Jo Baker before commenting much. I would point out, however, that Ms. Baker is a 21st century women from a time that has very little good to say about men. OF COURSE she would defend Mrs. Bennet. Try to impartially assess how JA presents the FULL story arc of Mrs. Bennet, recall who Lizzie confides in, and whether either parent really learns or grows much. Mr. Bennet at least admits he should have been more firm and involved with Lydia, but he immediately accepts Lizzie's confession of her love and regard for Darcy at face value. He didn't want her to make the same mistake he did. That shows at least a little reflection and understanding.
@@kevinrussell1144 Actually, I don't think Jo Baker was defending Mrs Bennet (although you'd have to ask her). Moreso, that she explored Mrs Bennet's situation in a way that made me more sympathetic to her. It's anachronistic to overlay 21st values onto a book written in the Georgian period, but I do think modern retellings can help current-day readers better understand the people of those periods. Provided the writer actually understands the period, I suppose. I wonder what you would think of Longbourn. My opinion is 1) it still protrays Mrs Bennet as overly dramatic and silly but much more sympathetic (which I thought was fair) and 2) it protrays Mr Bennet as much more neglectful and dishonourable (which I did NOT think was fair or true to the character).
@@FullyBookedMelissa Thanks for the thoughtful reply. I think you're saying I should read the book. I will.
As you might guess, I love women, like listening to them, don't understand them, but have not given up trying. UA-cam is an eye-opener. The book portion is MOSTLY women. It's a busman's holiday for someone who likes being on buses.
I thought Mrs Bennet was really badly treated in Longbourn, surely as mistress of the house she should have had lots of contact with the servants, but she has hardly any; she is treated like an irritant, and at the end of that novel I feel she is potrayed as an inconvenient annoyance, while Mr. Bennet gets a sense of connection and redemption which he doesn't deserve (sorry, being vague to avoid spoilers)
@@gingerladd6900 Now you've piqued my curiosity. The book will be on order. I'll get back to you.
My opinion on my Mrs. Bennet has changed over time and I have become more sympathetic towards her, but The Other Bennet Sister made me more frustrated and annoyed with her. The way she treats Mary bothers me and it's worse because Mary is around Mrs.Bennet all the time. She means well, but her approach is harsh.
Maybe Mrs Bennett also is ill inclined to Elizabeth because she knows that Mr Bennett values Elizabeth because of her intelligence. Intelligence and wittiness seem to be the only things that Mr Bennett respects and values. This could and should be taken by Mrs Bennett as a personal insult, as Mr Bennett is devaluing all of her strengths (looks, liveliness, sociability). This means she instinctively devalues intelligence in her children as a self defense tool.
Mrs. Bennet was annoying and had bad manners sometimes, but she actually cared about her daughters so much. Meanwhile, Mr. Bennet didn't give a shit about his daughters, he only favored the oldest ones and literally neglected the younger ones.
She cared about not being thrown to the hedgerows. She didn't give a rats ass about her daughters feelings.
She's goofy, due to the panic of having _five!_ count 'em _five!_ daughters who need to be married off. The novel is largely a comedy (the first sentence indicates the novel is to be read as a comedy), and she is a key character as such. Mrs. Bennett and Lady Catherine de Bourgh are the two goofy sides of the same comedic coin.
You're right! Lady Catherine is so confident that she lacks self-awareness, whereas Mrs. Bennet is so neurotic that she lacks self-confidence. Similarly, Mr. Bennet and Mr. Collins are opposites in terms of how much they care about the details: Mr. Collins obsesses over details of no interest or import, whereas Mr. Bennet leaves important family matters unaddressed. The four of them form an interesting tetrad. If you add Elizabeth and Darcy to the set, you get a structure much like Friends (i.e. a man, a woman, his neurotic friend, her neurotic friend, his ditzy friend, her ditzy friend). In this analogy, Mr. and Mrs. Bennet's characters are the basis for Joey and Monica. This has got to be the silliest argument I've made seriously.
I do really like thinking of Mrs Bennet and Lady Catherine as two sides of the same coin. And I enjoy your Friends argument XD
Mr. Bennet is a classic covert narcissist. Thats the hill I will die on.
Mrs. Bennet gives an impression of not liking Elizabeth because Mr. Bennet favors her in front of the other daughters. Mrs. Bennet has to defend the rest of the family. And, very important, Elizabeth treats her just like Mr. Bennet does.
Your comment that everyone loves Elizabeth Bennet struck me because I don't. I may feel sorry for her and understand the circumstances that led to her acerbic and self-righteous character, but I don't like her. She is like her father and imperious toward her mother and others. I don't like her or her father. Unlike her father, Elizabeth Bennet improves by the end of the novel but I suspect she is no less conceited in general. She never seems to clue in to the cruelty of her father. She is not expected to. It's rare for anyone to see any parent in the cold light of reason, but it does render her unlikable in my estimation.
iF wICKHAM HAD NOT MARRIED LYDIA, THE OTHER SISTER'S CHANCES WOULD HAVE RUINED AND NOT MARRY WELL
Mrs Bennet is a much better parent than Mr Bennet.
He is an AWFUL father. He does nothing at all of his own volition to make his daughters more marriageable
THANK YOU! Very few people ever seem willing to acknowledge that fact. Mr Better is a terrible father on many levels but whenever I say so, I tend to get people jumping to his defense because they love his humor and sarcasm. They seem to forget that (in addition to never having made a single provision for the future of his children), he is constantly turning that sarcasm against his children as well as his wife. No wonder his older girls are terrified of marrying the wrong guy and the younger will do anything for any kind of attention they can get that isn't being insulted.
@@Katherine_The_Okay
He tends to be played as a very kindly, good humoured person in dramatisations, the 1995 BBC version is the one I'm most familiar with. He uses humour and is kind towards Elizabeth so we are led to like him.
But if you actually get past this, you realise he really isn't a very pleasant person at all.
Just as Elizabeth realises she was taken in by Wickham, as we get to know him more throughout the book, WE realise we need to adjust our view of Mr Bennet. We're prejudiced to like him because he seems amusing and affable, whereas in reality he's bitter, utterly selfish, unconcerned about the material reality for his daughters after his death and really quite cruel.
Jane and Elizabeth marry well more by luck than by anything he has done and he's useless when it comes to Lydia too. If Darcy hasn't intervened heaven knows what would have happened to her. Wickham wouldn't have married her without a substantial amount of financial incentive, that he would be unable to give, nor probably would be skilful enough to negotiate.
It took a few re readings before I was able to see him for what he is. He's well written. Austen's texts just get richer the more you read them if you pay close attention!
@@ellie698 I agree 100%. Austen is a masterful writer and modern presentations kind of oversimplify both Mr and Mrs Bennet by playing up poor, longsuffering Mr Bennet, having to put up with a wife like *that* etc etc. But you have to wonder, especially give this video's point about how young she likely was when they married, how much he contributed to her being the way she ended up after 20+ years of verbal abuse and watching her children get neglected and doomed to a life of poverty. He's a cruel, neglectful man in the source text and doesn't even try to hide that fact. When we see him through the eyes of the only daughter he actually seems to care about, a lot of that can be ignored or brushed over, but even Lizzie comes to accept that his public behavior towards his wife and children is not okay. Why readers and movie makers don't is beyond me.
@@Katherine_The_Okay
EXACTLY!
Spot on.
I couldn't have put it better myself.
Absolutely spot on!
@@ellie698 💙 Thank you. I once got called "intellectually dishonest" for suggesting that Mr Bennet is a bit abusive but what else can you call a man who abuses his legal position of absolute authority over people to make them miserable? And who is so brazen that he doesn't even mind doing it in public? You don't have to beat a person to cause significant pain and anguish, and it's almost crueler to do it in the guise of joking around.
Women were not supposed to be clever and were encouraged to be airheads. I have alwys thought Mr. Bennett was a bit of a bad catch. So long as He was fine he didn't seem to worry about his daughters future or anything else . I think after Lizzie was born he lost interest in the other girls. Why did they not get an education to Lizzies standard? He proposed to hjis wife, not the other way round, not getting married wasn't an option cor a woman. I have always disliked Mr. Bennett. If you think about it, the Bronte's had similar problems with their father and lack of financial provision. Then there is Cranford too,
This is excellent content. You have not changed my mind, but I’m trying to be more sympathetic.
Consider me a (useful?) levelling agent to the mostly female chorus that agrees with you. I wonder if this really is a gender-bias issue? Unfortunately, I am too prejudiced to judge that.
I have always had a difficult time with “Jane Gardiner as was” (THAT was delightful and very perceptive on your part), and even a third reading of the book has not much altered my opinion of Mrs. Bennet.
I agree, it was NOT a good marriage and Mr. Bennet’s playful contempt is a horrible example to set for his daughters. But I cut Mr. Bennet considerable slack (yeah, yeah, just because I’m a guy) for what I consider defensible reasons.
He (Mr. Bennet) is not, in my opinion, the horrible father many modern readers make him into. Yes, he is weak in some ways, but he is not a monster. He has FIVE daughters with his spouse (he must have liked some things about her), he is not a spendthrift or gambler, does NOT step out on her, decently educated the daughters that could benefit from it and likely paid for lessons to enhance, did NOT piss away their dowries, and he obviously still admirers his wife in some ways. I teased my wife too much when we were first married, not because of contempt (she’s smarter than I am AND better looking), but because she was shy and I liked her (still do). Men rarely tease women they don’t admire (take it from me for what it’s worth). It would be fun, as others have surmised, to sit down with JA and hear what she REALLY thought of these characters.
Mr. B. is closest to Lizzie, admires Jane (likely in the same--I mean a non-creepy-- way he admired “his” Jane), and he put in what time could be found for the other three. His relationship with Mary was sad, and the two younger ones were likely viewed as inferior products. We can guess he viewed Mrs. Bennet’s highest regard for Lydia as confirmation of his own final assessment of his own wife’s inability to observe and correctly value what she sees.
I think your attempted defense of Mrs. Bennet’s behavior around the Lydia affair, the initial affront to Lizzie, the Collins caper, and the wrap up, can all be viewed as your own gender bias. She was more at fault than Mr. Bennet for allowing Lydia to display herself and set herself up as a pigeon, she was much more affronted by what Darcy was implying about her (Mrs. B.) than defending Lizzie, and Mrs. Bennet so disliked (was jealous of?) and undervalued Lizzie that she was perfectly happy to throw her over to a fool, if it would better feather her own nest.
Finally, I just don’t see that Mrs. Bennet ever learns from her experiences. She still thinks Wickham is a good catch at the end, and she’s mainly happy (in my estimation) because everything worked out well for HER.
Sure, we can blame the way she and her sister out (silly and poorly informed) on poorer educational opportunities compared to the brother, but I don’t think that holds much water. Jane, Lizzie, and Lydia ALL grew up under the same roof, received similar education, and all had their share of beauty. Lydia went bad (primarily) because of her own lack of character. You can’t keep ALWAYS blaming that on someone else. And Catherine Moreland (to jump to another shark) did NOT follow the path of Isabella Thorpe (or Lydia) because, while young and innocent, had a better foundation and character. I don’t think she’ll be another Mrs. Bennet. Catherine actually grew wiser from experience, as young as she was.
You might also consider how Jane Hadlow paints Mrs. Bennet in her astute “fan fiction” The Other Bennet Sister. The portrait is not at all favorable to “Jane Gardiner”.
Sorry for the length of this, but like you, I am obsessed with Jane Austen. I very much appreciate and enjoy your videos.
I think one of the interesting things about Mr Bennet for me is that he is presented as a bad father (he blames himself in part for Lydia's behaviour, and Jane Austen seems to agree he is to blame) but not in the same light as most of the bad fathers in other novels from the time. In those, bad fathers are often tyrannical, whereas Mr Bennet is the opposite, too lax and not caring enough. I think Mr Bennet can be read in a lot of different ways too. I think the problem with the way he speaks to her is not the teasing so much as the fact that she often doesn't really understand his teasing.
I loved The Other Bennet Sister but thought the author much too harsh both on Mrs Bennet and Charlotte Lucas.
@@katiejlumsden
Thanks, and you’re correct. These characters can be “read” in multiple ways. That’s why Jane’s books still fascinate.
The psychology of Janice Hadlow would be a good study. She does NOT like Mrs. Bennet (neither do I), and the Charlotte Lucas we see in her book is even more mercenary and interested than Jane’s version. In fact, the ONLY women in the book that receive full sympathy and approval are Mrs. Gardiner, and Mary herself, and Janice doesn’t even hide Mary’s beginning warts. I am fascinated by how women view other women when their shields come down, but then, I’m a guy. Many times I don’t really “get it”, although I tell myself I might be on the right track.
Lady Susan tells me that even at 19, Jane Austen could see what was underneath the mask most people wear. She witnessed and understood women like Lady Vernon. For all the silliness and shallow banter of Jane Gardiner, as was, Janice Hadlow also claimed to see something else more sinister under the “silly Mrs. Bennet" mask. Her Charlotte is also petty, very turf defensive, as well as highly motivated to get ahead. I thought her portrayal believable.
Not everyone is as accepting, sweet and tolerant as you.
Mr Benne, secluded with his books, lazy, detached, and disdainful, made no effort to guide his daughters and educate them decently, and then launch them into a wider society. If a rich young bachelor hadn't happened to arrive, they were at risk of becoming homeless old maids, or marrying beneath them in Meryton.. Mrs Bennet had try to do what her husband failed to attempt.
Wonderfully interesting! My theory of why the Bennets could not have a son after five daughters: Mr. Bennet was unfaithful and brought back an STI that made his wife barren. There is nothing in the book in that sense, but there is nothing to contradict it either.
Interesting thought! Although I've always thought the line 'But Mr. Bennet was not of a disposition to seek comfort for the disappointment which his own imprudence had brought on, in any of those pleasures which too often console the unfortunate for their folly or their vice.' was Jane Austen subtly saying that he didn't have affairs XD
@@katiejlumsden Oooh! Great point!