White People Taught Me How to Complain | Ali Siddiq Stand Up Comedy

Поділитися
Вставка
  • Опубліковано 22 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 2,8 тис.

  • @ShelbySteele23
    @ShelbySteele23 7 років тому +8144

    This is so true about white women at the movie theater. The funniest thing Ive ever seen is when a group of teens a few rows ahead of me were talking and giggling so this white lady in front of them stood up and folded her arms pouting with an attitude. The crazy part is that she just stood there for about 10 minutes until one of the teens tapped her and asked her to move out of the way. She turned around and said "oh so you want to SEE the movie?! Because I would like to HEAR it! So if you promise to hush then I promise to sit down". Their mouths dropped and me and my friends died lauging 😂😂😂

    • @SweetEssie
      @SweetEssie 6 років тому +345

      I want to use that line!

    • @officialking3459
      @officialking3459 6 років тому +397

      And then everyone started clapping

    • @Marco_Shouldve
      @Marco_Shouldve 5 років тому +101

      r/thathappened

    • @myancestorshair9609
      @myancestorshair9609 5 років тому +185

      She would hate me if she did that. Lol. I'd let her stand there the whole movie. Standing is healthier then sitting. I'm saving her life. Lol.

    • @thebrokeinvestor1076
      @thebrokeinvestor1076 5 років тому +36

      @@matta8569 😂😂😂, you know what makes me laugh? Thousands of years from now a group of humans are going to study us just like we did the Egyptians, etc., and I am sure they will find this comment of Mat, the dumbest dude that made two dumbass statements. Thank you very much!

  • @deepreststranger1349
    @deepreststranger1349 7 років тому +3194

    for the people who commented about race cmon the dude is funny as hell. im a white man and think a black man that tells jokes by his perspective of white people are almost always hilarious. theyre jokes damn grow up. you pointing out the difference in races is the only thing racist about it.

    • @ninasoares2504
      @ninasoares2504 7 років тому +18

      Thomas Pascal
      Learn the definition of a joke.
      A good comedian doesn't have to down black women or any race to make ppl laugh
      Kevin Heart for one, Jerry Seinfeld, Dane Cook, etc.

    • @ninasoares2504
      @ninasoares2504 7 років тому +10

      Jay Robertson
      No Comedian of any other race is allowed to say a thing about blacks. JOKE about a black person and that's when it's no longer comedy its.... drum roll please
      RACISM
      If ur a fucktard who's cool with being stereotyped then fine. But dont bash those who have self respect and are sick of the HYPOCRITICAL bullshit.

    • @reesebrandon4281
      @reesebrandon4281 7 років тому +138

      @Nina Soares You know thats an insecurity. The fact that this shit offends you. You do know that right?

    • @salmaabdullahgb
      @salmaabdullahgb 7 років тому +110

      Nina Soares I don't think you know how comedy works

    • @casaleeromina
      @casaleeromina 7 років тому +83

      Nina Soares UM who told you that. There are white comedians who I've seen that make fun of black people.

  • @jungefrau
    @jungefrau 7 років тому +6123

    my BFF is white and her husband is black and he told me that he never complains about anything anymore because she "has that all handled"

  • @dawnjohnson1965
    @dawnjohnson1965 4 роки тому +308

    TWO white women at work taught me how to complain to HR about my boss. LMBO. It worked, they helped a sista out.

    • @nreynolds75243
      @nreynolds75243 3 роки тому +42

      You can't go into HR all black. You have to use the right dialog., hostile work environment. Make sure to put everything in writing, using correct grammar and punctuation. LOL

    • @1.800Sweetheart
      @1.800Sweetheart 3 роки тому +13

      Share some main points, we all suffer so much

    • @momo-cchi5978
      @momo-cchi5978 3 роки тому +3

      @@1.800Sweetheart
      Mmmhhhhhmmmm

    • @hasinashraf4423
      @hasinashraf4423 3 роки тому +3

      what was the approach ?

    • @ebo7310
      @ebo7310 2 роки тому

      🙌🏿🙌🏿😂😂

  • @T1Oracle
    @T1Oracle 2 роки тому +280

    Me and my wife are black, when there's something to complain about I let my wife handle it. I used to worry about it, but after she's turned so many situations around to us getting paid, or getting stuff for free, I don't try to step in. She's got it!

  • @extraordinaryxj9520
    @extraordinaryxj9520 7 років тому +3931

    This dude makes you feel like you're at a family reunion playing spades or uno telling a story.! Awesome delivery I died 😂😂😂

    • @beyou1177
      @beyou1177 7 років тому

      This "dude," is a plantation bred idiot making a large majority of so called black men look pathetic and submissive. But most won't see it because you have to be woke to do so!

    • @rczg
      @rczg 7 років тому +31

      Be you!
      Bad day?

    • @markrobertson2052
      @markrobertson2052 7 років тому +19

      Be you! Wtf... is this a joke?

    • @gregakagreat
      @gregakagreat 6 років тому +1

      Extraordinary XJ9 Hell yeah

    • @nirvarene25us
      @nirvarene25us 6 років тому +1

      @@beyou1177 the hell

  • @gregfalco4528
    @gregfalco4528 9 років тому +5239

    I like his style of comedy. It's like a guy telling a story that happens to be funny.

    • @heydenleekley4757
      @heydenleekley4757 7 років тому +89

      Greg Falco he's like the perfect Katt and Kevin Hart combo

    • @damon2692
      @damon2692 7 років тому +14

      Richard Pryor....king of it..

    • @flextw1nk980
      @flextw1nk980 7 років тому +16

      Greg Falco umm Kevin hart, and almost all stand up comedians lol

    • @eveheart2876
      @eveheart2876 7 років тому +5

      Ikr

    • @cassiej8881
      @cassiej8881 7 років тому

      Greg Falco z
      Ze

  • @alicialynnette9889
    @alicialynnette9889 3 роки тому +473

    My vocabulary is off the chain when I'm dealing with the manager. "Excuse me is there a manager I can converse with? I seem to be having a situation that I need clarification on!" Lol

    • @FH-cn3mg
      @FH-cn3mg 3 роки тому +30

      You can't let'em know it's about to pop off until they get there. Gotta keep it in stealth mode, then when they finally make eye contact, they know...it's about to go down.

    • @thegtaspot7925
      @thegtaspot7925 3 роки тому +34

      Hum, yes, there’s seems to be quite the conundrum here sir, you see, I was having a lovely evening and this has left me embarrassed and uneasy. 😮‍💨😮‍💨

    • @alicialynnette9889
      @alicialynnette9889 3 роки тому +8

      @@thegtaspot7925 oooo that's a good one lol

    • @DannySullivanMusic
      @DannySullivanMusic 3 роки тому +4

      totally. without a doubt accurate

    • @ashleelouiserehe7821
      @ashleelouiserehe7821 2 роки тому +8

      Or “I have a query..” lol

  • @residentidiot9694
    @residentidiot9694 5 років тому +1848

    "The lady was white, husband was Mexican ....and the baby was black"!!!!😲🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @Om-xi6cw
      @Om-xi6cw 5 років тому +17

      😂😂😂😂😂

    • @zip5216
      @zip5216 5 років тому +45

      On my block

    • @N.DRC.
      @N.DRC. 4 роки тому +6

      #ThatPart

    • @steviesosa5617
      @steviesosa5617 4 роки тому +3

      @John Bravo Morbidly Obese😂🤣

    • @SovereignStatesman
      @SovereignStatesman 4 роки тому

      @John Bravo The blacker the baby, the fatter the white chick who had him. Then they congratulate themselves for being "racially diverse" when in reality it's just that no white guy will touch her with anything but a harpoon.

  • @ashleelouiserehe7821
    @ashleelouiserehe7821 5 років тому +419

    “They start whisperin around places”
    I’ll never get tired of Ali. Lolol.

  • @goldenfugnugget
    @goldenfugnugget 7 років тому +3769

    As a large white man, I can attest to the fact that turning quickly and looking at people all angry can shut down all kinds of annoying situations.

    • @JRob-nw5mt
      @JRob-nw5mt 7 років тому +183

      And Adding a prolonged stare helps as well.

    • @Sam-gn6og
      @Sam-gn6og 7 років тому +156

      @John
      As large Moroccan man...I'd tell you sit the fuck down tough boy

    • @istkeingeheimnis8093
      @istkeingeheimnis8093 7 років тому +246

      Sam10947 As large slavic white man I'd make you stutter in mid sentence

    • @danielthompson6207
      @danielthompson6207 7 років тому +74

      Ist kein Geheimnis Same here; I have used my stern Slavic stare to shut people up in mid sentence, and it is excellent. Czeching in, slava!

    • @Psychol-Snooper
      @Psychol-Snooper 7 років тому +105

      A large Moroccan man? I've been to Morocco. Moroccan men make Japanese men look like giants. If you are a large Moroccan man, you must be riding on a donkey. And unless it's an armored fuckin donkey nobody is scared of some brown Tyrion Lannister looking hookah boy. :P

  • @cqccqc1728
    @cqccqc1728 8 років тому +2585

    YOU KNOW HE'S AN AWESOME STORY TELLER When ...1/2 way through his story, you're hoping it's going to be a Loooooooong story, not wanting it to end

    • @dukesayter8375
      @dukesayter8375 7 років тому +2

      Cqc Cqc just like my D, never ends!

    • @wowthatscool9333
      @wowthatscool9333 7 років тому +11

      Duke Sayter Except an inch later

    • @erikbarrett85
      @erikbarrett85 7 років тому +4

      Duke Sayter what a TOOL

    • @dontsweatthesmallstuff.618
      @dontsweatthesmallstuff.618 6 років тому +1

      Cqc Cqc or when youve heard another comedian say the sam3 joke and realize halfway rhis guy stole content

    • @dontsweatthesmallstuff.618
      @dontsweatthesmallstuff.618 6 років тому

      Oscar Blanco yup i cant remeber who it was but it is a famous comedian i cant remever but ive heard this long ago chappele? Kevin hart? Let me find out and get back to you.

  • @nreynolds75243
    @nreynolds75243 3 роки тому +407

    The "white" approach in complaints work. A couple of weeks ago husband, myself, step-son, grandson went to an Italian restaurant downtown. We placed an order 45 minutes to an hour ago. Then I start noticing 2 couples that came way after us had received their meal. So I pulled over a waiter who ended up being a manager and explained to him what happened. He say yes, you all have been waiting a while. I said to him, " Do we get anything complimentary for the wait?" In my mind I was thinking sodas. My husband received a glass of white wine, my step-son received Creme Brulee (he didn't realize it was a dessert until it came) and lemonade, grandson received a soda and I received an Arnold Palmer and received our meat board all complimentary. I said to the manager, "All of this?" (in my white voice). He said "Not a problem." Once again in my "white" voice, "Thank you so very much. This is so kind." The black complaint would have gotten all of us kicked out and the police called. LOL

    • @oldschooloc2110
      @oldschooloc2110 2 роки тому +1

      It's the same approach as "speaking White English" while making a call to a predominately White place or to a White person. Blacks also have 'hood" vocabularies
      and other races' vocabularies. Aaah! All of this is the American Way...

    • @laze4534
      @laze4534 2 роки тому +25

      Lol 'white voice'

    • @malirabbit6228
      @malirabbit6228 2 роки тому +3

      Like the “ force “ !

    • @willmdmv8848
      @willmdmv8848 2 роки тому +2

      You do know not every meal take the same amount of time to prepare!!!
      You do know that 2 meals generally is made faster then 4 meals
      Can’t ppl like you
      I’m a bartender
      Enjoy your time with your family while you wait for the food
      It ain’t that serious

    • @contraband1543
      @contraband1543 2 роки тому +15

      @@willmdmv8848 Ain't a damn thing should be on a menu that takes 45 minutes to cook.
      I don't go out to eat anymore
      1. The hygiene of 90% of restaurants is terrible during working hours. They might clean up after their shift but restaurants are usually filthy.
      2. SHIT COSTS WAY TOO DAMN MUCH. I can make anything at home a restaurant can make for 3x less money. Might not be perfect but it will taste good.
      3. Most places take forever. 30 minutes is too long already I done been gone.
      4. The loud ass people that don't know how to keep a conversation to themselves. I can't tell you how many times I've overheard some absolutely disturbing shit. What if kids hear that?
      Restaurants are a waste of time just eat at home and go out and do something after.

  • @Somegoy
    @Somegoy 2 роки тому +286

    This dude was calling out the entire "Karen" persona long before it was popular. Shows how insightful he is

    • @mackinshizzaveli4202
      @mackinshizzaveli4202 2 роки тому +13

      Or hear me out….. Maybe Karens and Mens always existed and they just didn’t have a name?

    • @ebonysmith943
      @ebonysmith943 Рік тому +6

      Dag I was coming to say he didn’t know her by name yet it’s Karen 😂 but you beat me too it

    • @Angievibes2
      @Angievibes2 Рік тому

      @@mackinshizzaveli4202 🙌

    • @PAMELAPORTER-ci7mr
      @PAMELAPORTER-ci7mr Рік тому

      It's very sad that such a small segment of our society has been taught and exercises their contempt for anything outside their reference points; I suspect they didn't even attempt college, where they could've learned acceptance and perhaps, appreciation for all humans. I remain hopeful, however.

    • @iambrandin_
      @iambrandin_ Рік тому

      @@PAMELAPORTER-ci7mrthat “small” segment of our society had to protest and demand equality in education to even “attempt” college ….and since we are speaking of education…GO READ A CIVIL RIGHTS BOOK!!!

  • @steviesosa5617
    @steviesosa5617 4 роки тому +291

    "They ain't saying the right thing to the baby, I'mma tell the baby what they need to hear" 🤣😂🤣😂🤣

  • @lancairw867
    @lancairw867 7 років тому +1950

    “Is the pilot going to use this window to back the plane up!” Im a pilot and that is 😂

    • @amilllion1
      @amilllion1 4 роки тому +19

      I'm sure he was at an exit row

    • @khalidtiger7
      @khalidtiger7 4 роки тому +130

      since you came here Mr pilot, you owe us an explanation here 😂😂

    • @lancairw867
      @lancairw867 4 роки тому +284

      On the ground needed to be open for FAA rules in case of emergency 🚨 evacuation ( see if fire 🔥 or something outside to use exit or not ) Say we are at the gate , it starts to snow ❄️ and the door is already closed. We will come back to look at the wing to see if it’s clear of snow before takeoff 👍🏼

    • @khalidtiger7
      @khalidtiger7 4 роки тому +78

      @@lancairw867 finally explained , Thanks a lot

    • @hehatemebad4941
      @hehatemebad4941 4 роки тому +23

      This man lying lol

  • @wehiird
    @wehiird 7 років тому +2683

    I have a complaint. This ended too soon!!!

  • @cozmicmojo2181
    @cozmicmojo2181 8 років тому +2600

    His delivery is really good.

    • @ChipChurp
      @ChipChurp 7 років тому +32

      Cozmic Mojo very good delivery I'd agree. the timing sometimes a lil too soon and fast but even the build up is great idk why I've never heard of this comic

    • @warface3044
      @warface3044 7 років тому +2

      Racist propaganda is often tolerated by the left. Leftists hahaha

    • @zeke1220
      @zeke1220 7 років тому +27

      Politics is often brought into unrelated comment chains by dipshits on the internet. Dipshits hahaha

    • @Chaches
      @Chaches 7 років тому

      K

    • @erikbarrett85
      @erikbarrett85 7 років тому +3

      I seriously disliked it. Idk why

  • @MeJustAimy
    @MeJustAimy 4 роки тому +671

    This was clearly before Karens and Kevin’s took over..

    • @lukenasty4159
      @lukenasty4159 4 роки тому +74

      They've always been here. Their just on camera now.

    • @crystalyntema8432
      @crystalyntema8432 4 роки тому +10

      🤣 so true.. and a lil sad

    • @tiannabobo1170
      @tiannabobo1170 4 роки тому +10

      This fueled them 😂

    • @roberthimself7813
      @roberthimself7813 3 роки тому +4

      No Shaniqua still be wildin but we're not allowed to talk about her anymore because reasons.

    • @Golfzilla1961
      @Golfzilla1961 3 роки тому +8

      I love my Karen. She is sooo not a “Karen”. And I let things go as well. Married 37 years and neither has ever asked for the manager. We love the attention though. I even bought myself a “Not Today Karen” shirt!!!
      Added in the edit: Btw, i forgot my user name is not Kevin which is my name. Happiest Kevin & Karen Eva!

  • @reerozay
    @reerozay 5 років тому +903

    “Baby got on boots”

  • @PNEUMONIAx
    @PNEUMONIAx 7 років тому +384

    The lady was white, the man was Mexican and the baby was black! hahaha!! xD

    • @adygombos4469
      @adygombos4469 7 років тому +17

      Juan needs to start asking some questions.

    • @CaptainAMAZINGGG
      @CaptainAMAZINGGG 7 років тому +3

      +ady gombos RIGHT??!! lol :')

    • @SuMtOnE
      @SuMtOnE 7 років тому +1

      you saw the same clip too? =P

    • @tlalocmixtli3363
      @tlalocmixtli3363 7 років тому +3

      ady gombos
      No questions require everybody knows. Any lady dating a Blackman is a future single Mom..
      Look at the bright side they baby may end up, with some kind of work ethics!!!

    • @osmango19
      @osmango19 7 років тому

      Ju

  • @OneeLoveeLex95
    @OneeLoveeLex95 7 років тому +450

    "She's cracking" 💀

    • @K1LL4K3L
      @K1LL4K3L 4 роки тому +4

      Kitty Bodega 😂😂

  • @minoffield176
    @minoffield176 7 років тому +82

    so I started my car ride to work grumpy but by the time I got to work I had tears running down my face from laughing so hard listening to you. hillarious!! Thank you for changing my day around. I am a new fan!!!

  • @Cathy24601
    @Cathy24601 4 роки тому +40

    It’s funny because I was homeschooled and sheltered, I learned how to stand up for myself from black people after I started my first job, I don’t know where I would be without black people.

  • @jacobpeterson4071
    @jacobpeterson4071 3 роки тому +20

    Ali you are hands down one of the funniest comedians I've seen in 30 years. I hope you only stop making content when you're good and old because you never fail to brighten my day with your stories.

  • @maltesecross761
    @maltesecross761 6 років тому +270

    One of the best storytellers I've ever heard. The delivery, timing and cadence are perfect. Great work Ali.

    • @dnugearl2549
      @dnugearl2549 5 років тому +1

      Maltese Cross at least somebody can appreciate a good comedy. Unlike all these trash talkers.

    • @DannySullivanMusic
      @DannySullivanMusic 3 роки тому

      i agree! precisely correct man

  • @ryneckert
    @ryneckert 7 років тому +133

    This guy tells stories the best. I love the way he talks.

  • @lazyperfectionist1
    @lazyperfectionist1 6 років тому +3225

    Now _that_ is a good point. What's the deal with the window shade?

    • @Clauriffo
      @Clauriffo 6 років тому +82

      How can people not figure it out for themselves? Its to see if the engine catches fire, they sometimes have flames coming out without an explosion. If they allow 1 person to close it, others will complain and want to have it closed as well cause you know how people like to bitch about everything. In stead during take off and landing they all have to be open. Same as the chair has to be reclined for landing. You could say if we crash it wont make a difference if my seat is up or not but rules are rules. Oscar Blanco is the one that got it right. @H Yeah so you just flew and you didn't see any change in policy? Did you fly every existing company or just a couple? I don't believe you flown every company so you cannot say I didn't see any changes in policy if you don't know all the policies from different companies. And last thing you continental flights and intercontinental flights both have different rules. Come on guys don't be so dumb and really if you want to know something google it. Why ask it on UA-cam where half the comments are from idiots. Educate yourselves please!

    • @HavaLemon
      @HavaLemon 6 років тому +82

      So that if you have an emergency (specifically an aborted takeoff), the flight attendants can easily see outside. If something was on fire, it matters that you evacuate out of the correct side, they don't have time to go down the aisle and make everyone open their shades. -pilot

    • @reycarter6284
      @reycarter6284 6 років тому +58

      they need to open the window shades thats fine but if the man is sleeping can't you just lean and open it or ask the passenger next to him to to do it, don't mess with a person's sleep on a plane unless its an emergency.

    • @laquisteransome157
      @laquisteransome157 6 років тому +49

      Now just picture waking up and some one leaning over top of you for any reason ... as to the shades being up or down maybe some one should suggest the application of automatic window shades that can be controlled by the pilot or flight attendants, (overrides) so to speak , which can later be switched back to the control of the passengers..... original idea by L Ransome.

    • @scottthompson6504
      @scottthompson6504 6 років тому +7

      Newer planes have automatic window tinted shades nowadays.

  • @JahRandom
    @JahRandom 5 років тому +109

    I just discovered Ali in the last few weeks and I gotta say, so glad I finally did! Been sleepin for quiteee some time but he already has become one of my favorites! Much love and respect.

    • @cupidsiza
      @cupidsiza 5 років тому

      Me too. He's funny

    • @MachineGunMouth
      @MachineGunMouth 5 років тому

      "Quiteee" I could just imagine how you sounded when you said that. I could just imagine the amount of emphasis you put on that word...

    • @kardon4996
      @kardon4996 2 роки тому

      Me too!

  • @robert_5974
    @robert_5974 2 роки тому +34

    I love the story telling! A class comedian. Ali, you are an amazing comedian because you got the observations but not everybody can convey those details to someone who wasn't there. I am always transported to where you are setting the scene and that's what I want.

  • @Acts-hw1zs
    @Acts-hw1zs 9 років тому +1238

    hahaha i died laughing when you said the baby was black

  • @ianmcgeehan4627
    @ianmcgeehan4627 7 років тому +538

    I'm white and jokes is jokes. And real life is real life. If the things we get Upset about we just Laughed about instead....this man was funny and a good story teller.

    • @Tr33Shade
      @Tr33Shade 5 років тому +24

      Also non of that hate spewing race tension. I am black and I hate when all black comedians come one stage and just go off on white ppl. Sure a little racial joke is ok every now and then, but if the whole night I have to sit and hear about white ppl this and white ppl that. Gets on my nerve. We should all sit and enjoy our night you laugh at me and I laugh and you. He just speaks of things that happen in a normal everyday life and we all can relate. Love his comedy. Peace and Love to all.

    • @joshjohnson2600
      @joshjohnson2600 5 років тому +5

      I'm white...because I felt an urge to announce my skin color as a prerequisite to legitimize my comment...

    • @eugenecaudill5361
      @eugenecaudill5361 4 роки тому +8

      I grew up in the Mid-West. There is an abundance of racist's here. I've heard every black joke under the sun. Not going to lie, a good white joke is a nice change of pace. They're just words.

    • @joshjohnson2600
      @joshjohnson2600 4 роки тому +2

      @@eugenecaudill5361 - Like those black neighborhoods in Chicago and Saint Louis where white people get jumped for being white. You're right, it's very racist here.

    • @oliviaburres1522
      @oliviaburres1522 4 роки тому +6

      Josh Johnson lmao let me use y’all excuses real quick “I wasn’t there why is it my fault” oooo there’s another excuse you guys use all the time “it’s just words.. my neighbor from two years ago was white so it’s not racists” like dude stfu his white jokes aren’t even demeaning like how you white folks do black folks

  • @jackiethompson7446
    @jackiethompson7446 7 років тому +524

    dude aint laugh out loud funny in most of these clips ive been but he tells a damn fine story and he IS funny...i like him

    • @swong32
      @swong32 7 років тому +5

      he's "seinfeld" funny

    • @urbanflavorz
      @urbanflavorz 7 років тому +22

      He takes too long to tell a story with a weak punch line. He could have told this story in 1 min

    • @goldenfugnugget
      @goldenfugnugget 7 років тому +27

      The kind of funny that makes you go "ha, that's true".

    • @FirstLast-js3ip
      @FirstLast-js3ip 7 років тому +1

      Alex tell me the point of comedy ...on a real note.

    • @jackiethompson7446
      @jackiethompson7446 7 років тому +2

      bud i dont think he could...it looks like he is just trying to bait someone anyway

  • @mensahchief875
    @mensahchief875 4 роки тому +45

    2015: coughs,.no reaction
    2020: coughs
    Everybody:
    🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃

  • @jonathanelliott560
    @jonathanelliott560 4 роки тому +762

    I’m watching this during quarantine and his coughing scared me for a sec

    • @Jasmyne444
      @Jasmyne444 4 роки тому +5

      IKR! same 🤣

    • @Happy-fu7fb
      @Happy-fu7fb 4 роки тому +23

      At least he coughed correctly, ijs.

    • @gurlycash7394
      @gurlycash7394 4 роки тому +1

      Damn that's a big cough on stage. U sick or something

    • @kia6844
      @kia6844 4 роки тому +3

      I was startled. Smh. Lol

    • @cupakabra162
      @cupakabra162 4 роки тому +5

      Life will never be the same again...

  • @Chebab-Chebab
    @Chebab-Chebab 7 років тому +444

    Airplane blinds are raised so in the event of an emergency so the emergency services can see inside. Also, several times passengers have alerted cabin crew of smoking engines.

    • @RuneTrips
      @RuneTrips 5 років тому +57

      SHUTUP NERD

    • @shanicecallender865
      @shanicecallender865 5 років тому +39

      Muy Bueno lmfao 😂😭
      Come on he’s/she’s just being informative

    • @RuneTrips
      @RuneTrips 5 років тому +11

      @@shanicecallender865 Yeah I was just joshing

    • @rustyjames1727
      @rustyjames1727 4 роки тому +8

      @@RuneTrips I clicked reply to write this very thing in all caps 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @TonyTarantula
      @TonyTarantula 4 роки тому +7

      Very helpful information from You are soul.

  • @LongRon6969
    @LongRon6969 6 років тому +995

    I’m white and I think that white jokes that actually makes sense are fucking hilarious. I miss when comics could make offensive jokes and nobody got actually offended. We will just be adults, know that it’s a joke, and laugh about it

    • @marissaclaudio6318
      @marissaclaudio6318 6 років тому +31

      Freedom Child if no one got offended than it wasn't offensive dummy.

    • @texaspanda6547
      @texaspanda6547 6 років тому +9

      Bill Burr, Jim Jeffries, Anthony Jeslnik, Daniel Tosh, and there's a couple more I'm blanking on. I'm sure you know about them already but just in-case you don't, check them out.

    • @Phenom0420
      @Phenom0420 6 років тому +37

      Making a joke about white women complaining to managers and actually being able get away with it is not the same as making fun of black people for liking watermelon or some bs. 🙄

    • @zuzusuperfly8363
      @zuzusuperfly8363 6 років тому +9

      How is it not the same? It's not an argument, it's a joke. If it's funny, everyone is winning.

    • @jimbosan710
      @jimbosan710 6 років тому +1

      You are an imbecile. Real adults don't have to swear. Get your diaper changed again, you stink.

  • @thewalkingmic5
    @thewalkingmic5 2 роки тому +9

    “Is he backing this plane out or something?” 😭😭😭 I lost it

  • @kjjones9661
    @kjjones9661 3 роки тому +6

    “Shutchomuthaf*nassup” lmao I died 😂
    Many blessings Brother Ali

  • @LLO227
    @LLO227 6 місяців тому +1

    I like the way he tells jokes! These stories just creep up on ya and your face starts laughing before your mouth.

  • @nyag1764
    @nyag1764 7 років тому +74

    "why does he need this window to take off!" lol! !

  • @LunchLotto
    @LunchLotto 8 років тому +1590

    PSSSSTT...... "Mexicans got on BOOTs"

    • @liming2104
      @liming2104 8 років тому +9

      Aw shit! You went to see CC yet?

    • @chromesneakers7481
      @chromesneakers7481 8 років тому +11

      what do you want your knife made up? wood? plastic? metal ?

    • @TokyoTraveller
      @TokyoTraveller 8 років тому +6

      +BRXSK
      It'll cost you 3 bags of coffee.

    • @hebrewsfl
      @hebrewsfl 8 років тому +6

      I was tryna figure out where tf I knew his face from. 😂😂. Mexicans got on boots? *runs away*

    • @itsgabbieagain
      @itsgabbieagain 8 років тому

      😂

  • @Dylvente
    @Dylvente 7 років тому +79

    This made me laugh harder than I've laughed in a long time. Very talented comedian!

  • @nimmha6708
    @nimmha6708 2 роки тому +5

    Crazy you getting views now! Well deserved! Can't wait to find new material online!

    • @OfficialStephenGardner1
      @OfficialStephenGardner1 2 роки тому +2

      Despite the economic downturn, I'm so happy😁. I have been earning $7,000 weekly returns on my $10,000 investment

  • @christmastiger
    @christmastiger 4 роки тому +3

    Ali is one of the best storytellers I've ever seen, that's truly an overlooked but critical talent as a comedian and *incredibly* hard to master so I will just sit here and watch a pro at work

  • @snarfer5612
    @snarfer5612 8 років тому +199

    Wow, you're fucking hilarious. every video I've seen from you is funny as shit. really don't understand why you haven't blown up yet. keep it up man, good shit

    • @JohnSmith-jb8rb
      @JohnSmith-jb8rb 7 років тому +12

      He's been in prison for a while...I'm glad he's out though because his stuff is really good.

    • @CaptainAMAZINGGG
      @CaptainAMAZINGGG 7 років тому

      NO HE SHOULD'VE DONE IT IN PRISON, THEY HAVE INTERNET, LIVESTREAM THAT SHIT :') lols.

  • @paulettewebb6807
    @paulettewebb6807 4 роки тому +3

    Thanks for giving us humor in these days of uncertainty! We truly need it! Live your best life and keep up the good work!

  • @bigBsMom
    @bigBsMom 2 роки тому +7

    😂😂😂😂... You know Ali is old school...he creases his jeans!!!👍🏽❤️

  • @hking1009
    @hking1009 3 роки тому +5

    This guys delivery is so good I expected something funny was about to happen for 6 minutes and nothing ever happened. That's talent right there

  • @MrsWetdirt
    @MrsWetdirt 2 роки тому +1

    I love your standup. Please do more! There isn’t enough of you on UA-cam! I can only watch your specials so many times before I’m telling your story myself 😅 I’ve run out of Ali!

  • @austint19
    @austint19 4 роки тому +12

    "what is he, backing this plane up??" lmaoooo

  • @sinseeyafilms
    @sinseeyafilms 4 роки тому +15

    Not once yet have I heard this man doing the same jokes. That's the problem with these comedians, but siddiq is on his job. Well done my brother keep it up

  • @cheeselessburger2626
    @cheeselessburger2626 4 роки тому +301

    He coughed, I grabbed my mask..

    • @TRay_Unveiled
      @TRay_Unveiled 4 роки тому +10

      😂😂😂😂😂😂😂ikr

    • @ashleynicole8041
      @ashleynicole8041 4 роки тому +4

      Chime Guy lmmfao!!!

    • @linellecameron3067
      @linellecameron3067 4 роки тому +6

      😂😂😂😂😂😂💀💀💀💀. Tell me why I covered my face with my t-shirt right then. Im laughing so hard right now b/c I see there's other people out there watching this and felt just like me in that moment.

    • @TRay_Unveiled
      @TRay_Unveiled 4 роки тому +3

      @@linellecameron3067 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @cheeselessburger2626
      @cheeselessburger2626 4 роки тому +2

      @@linellecameron3067 Id like to think thats a good habit 😂

  • @nateshredder9044
    @nateshredder9044 4 роки тому +3

    great artist ! his bits are so personal and real! you get submerged in his conversation with the crowd, hanging on every last word!

  • @songswithcam669
    @songswithcam669 3 роки тому +13

    A master story teller, can’t wait to hear more from this dude

  • @2fast4u_rms
    @2fast4u_rms 9 років тому +106

    man i hope this guys blows up. he is hilarious!

    • @killfase01
      @killfase01 6 років тому +3

      @Celtic 67 your one of those people that go to comedy clubs and complains about being offended arent you.

    • @killfase01
      @killfase01 6 років тому

      @Celtic 67 lol ur

  • @cameronw.2775
    @cameronw.2775 7 років тому +13

    Life is just so much better when we can all laugh at each other. It's because humor is often derived from truth and it's just how it is.

  • @christophernealjacksonTX
    @christophernealjacksonTX 9 років тому +11

    I found you on Pandora and I found you on here today, you are a refreshing change of pace in comedy, plus you're a Texan! Wish you great success Sir.

  • @CaptJackPal
    @CaptJackPal 4 роки тому +10

    “She’s cracking” 🤣😂💜

  • @neckutter
    @neckutter 5 років тому +18

    You just randomly showed up in my UA-cam feed. You're pretty talented. Thanks for the laughs

  • @robk4211
    @robk4211 7 років тому +18

    First found out about your stand up in This Is Not Happening with the Mexicans Got On Boots story had me dying! New great comedy cant wait to see what you do!

  • @CarcPazu
    @CarcPazu 8 років тому +31

    I fucking loved it when he turned around with the big eyes. I fucking do that often, that usually gets shit done.

  • @LasVegasEDM
    @LasVegasEDM 7 років тому +19

    Ali, you need a special!!! I love the authentic prison jokes you do🤗🤓

  • @bartenderzzz
    @bartenderzzz 4 роки тому +8

    "Lemme talk to a managa!!" Lmao. On point.

  • @annien5143
    @annien5143 4 роки тому +15

    Watching this during corona.. I needed a good laugh 😂

  • @VenusianSanctuary
    @VenusianSanctuary 6 років тому +25

    🤣🤣🤣 I worked as a flight attendant and I don't know why we have it open anymore 😭😂😩 great material - new sub.

  • @kurbatska
    @kurbatska 6 років тому +64

    The lady was white, the man was mexican and the baby was black loooooool

  • @DAPOOLPARTY
    @DAPOOLPARTY 7 років тому +6

    You are an amazing story teller. Keep releasing content please!!

  • @ysmithriley
    @ysmithriley 6 місяців тому +1

    I agree WHOLEHEARTEDLY with what you told the baby‼️🥰🥰🤣🤣😭😭

  • @Mayabee321
    @Mayabee321 5 років тому +3

    A natural story teller. The baby bit at the end was priceless 😆

  • @scottmills1065
    @scottmills1065 8 років тому +160

    This guy is Goood.

  • @mitchellbrock3463
    @mitchellbrock3463 6 років тому +4

    This dude is soooooooo underrated. Love when he hosts at the Improv here in Houston. I ALWAYS seem to miss when he's the headliner though. *sigh*

  • @jewelgrier4593
    @jewelgrier4593 4 роки тому +159

    My white gf get pissed at work take a week off for anxiety no lie

    • @Jooo_sh
      @Jooo_sh 4 роки тому +11

      Jewel Grier mine says she’s staying home sick then ask if I wanna go out as soon as I get off

    • @crownedmelaninqueen
      @crownedmelaninqueen 4 роки тому +2

      Jewel Grier 😂😂😂😂

    • @kia6844
      @kia6844 4 роки тому +1

      Lol

    • @SovereignStatesman
      @SovereignStatesman 4 роки тому

      Jewel Grier: She SHOULD take off about 300 lbs, but then she wouldn't be your gf no more.

    • @andymac6207
      @andymac6207 4 роки тому +12

      She lucky af to be able to pull that shit off

  • @brettbarton1911
    @brettbarton1911 2 роки тому +1

    What a natural . Buddy thanks for the first out loud laugh I've had in a minute. Needed it!

  • @Demonreached
    @Demonreached 3 роки тому +4

    "Why would he need this window to take off??"
    I've always wanted to do a spit take in my car. So, thanks for that! 🤣😂🤣

  • @timned
    @timned 7 років тому +14

    Lol!!! "Who's the manager here?"

  • @ashleelouiserehe7821
    @ashleelouiserehe7821 7 років тому +6

    he got up in his seat...
    lmfao 😂😂😂😂 dead

  • @azraelblick4117
    @azraelblick4117 5 років тому +8

    This is brilliant. I swear I’ve been on the plane and at the movies with Ali.

  • @blacktowken1232
    @blacktowken1232 4 роки тому

    One of the things I like about ali is he says real stuff he's so true that interestingly situations happen around him. Hes funny but so many gems. I watch an interview of his and was floored by the lil knowledge he exposed.

  • @daseanharris3098
    @daseanharris3098 5 років тому +15

    My first video i watched of you was on “This is not happening “ been tuned in the whole month of aug !!! Had to subscribe it’s only right

  • @BlueBab2807
    @BlueBab2807 8 років тому +84

    That dude's really funny, where can i see more of his materials?

    • @joeyg2525
      @joeyg2525 6 років тому +7

      Umm, you are on his youtube channel. Try checking here... lol

    • @jblack8149
      @jblack8149 5 років тому +3

      Mike Gee Ya’ll has your time lol - now it’s ours😂

    • @MsAdreaL
      @MsAdreaL 5 років тому +2

      J Black Right 🤣 & they can't Stand it! 🤣🤣😢😢😢

    • @jblack8149
      @jblack8149 5 років тому +2

      Mike Gee don’t try to understand

    • @brandygee9954
      @brandygee9954 5 років тому +1

      If you think "yall" is ghetto don't come to Texas.😐

  • @jimshortsfull
    @jimshortsfull 9 років тому +18

    THIS GUY GETS IT !
    LETS ENJOY AND EMBRACE OUR DIFFERENCES

  • @yootoob4516
    @yootoob4516 6 років тому +15

    I love storytellers. Too many punchlines out there, a hilarious story is where it's at.
    A baby started crying during a movie and someone from across the theater shouted out: "STOP HURTING THAT CHILD!" I could hear the baby go up the aisle and across the back of the theater, then out.

  • @DrDespicable
    @DrDespicable 5 років тому +7

    Ali has a real gift for storytelling! I can't believe I first heard of him just a few days ago - he should be huge!

  • @feelbern5419
    @feelbern5419 8 років тому +65

    he reminds me of great Dave Chappell with facial expressions

  • @itsgabbieagain
    @itsgabbieagain 8 років тому +14

    this guy's hilarious!!

  • @sharaxxvable
    @sharaxxvable 9 років тому +10

    The last part, surprisedly, crack me up 😂😂😂😂

  • @jewlzmo3125
    @jewlzmo3125 3 роки тому +1

    Had me dieing when he said the 3 ethnicity of the family an Siddiq gonna slowly turn back around an continue rocking like yea yall let that marinate lmao 🤣 😂

  • @diplomatsking
    @diplomatsking 4 роки тому +9

    "Babies got more confidence than old people."

  • @vonversace
    @vonversace 8 років тому +11

    shit never gets old
    love it

  • @T4xEvader
    @T4xEvader 9 років тому +12

    One of the best story tellers ever.

  • @blakelip3
    @blakelip3 5 років тому +6

    She’s cracking lmaoooo

  • @donnadavis6634
    @donnadavis6634 4 роки тому +2

    You are so funny!!! Binging on your videos is helping me get through Social Distancing!!!!

  • @RodricKing
    @RodricKing 2 роки тому +1

    2:58 The Answer: "In the case of an emergency, if you are forced to ditch the plane or escape the aircraft; 30-seconds is the window to escape. However, it takes your eyes over 3-minutes to adjust to the daylight or nighttime dark. The 30-second window is closed because you wanted to take off in the daytime with the window shade down. Now, your plane has crashed on take-off (one of the two most dangerous points of flight) and now you are trying to exit the aircraft but can barely see because your eyes haven't adjusted to the light putting yourself and others at further risk." Please follow all the instructions of flight attendants. -Helicopter Pilot

  • @georgiebungle2252
    @georgiebungle2252 8 років тому +141

    That's one funny dude lol

  • @deancoleman5117
    @deancoleman5117 7 років тому +5

    The plane had me dead 😂😂💀

  • @dhstorey5
    @dhstorey5 5 років тому +108

    I am white and he is correct😂😂😂 My kids and husband will plead with me not to say something. I'm like nah I need to teach them what their momma didn't.

    • @plantbasedunicorn7995
      @plantbasedunicorn7995 5 років тому +4

      😂😂😭😭🐐

    • @MsChmpnprzr
      @MsChmpnprzr 4 роки тому +2

      😭😭😆😆🤣

    • @pachukoking2963
      @pachukoking2963 4 роки тому +1

      @Pink Pineapple 88 no, she rolls her eyes

    • @KOLAkola
      @KOLAkola 4 роки тому +3

      Girl bye lol

    • @Nadine4266
      @Nadine4266 4 роки тому

      Koka Kola why are you so dismissive of her? You ever asked yourself that?
      Hate isn’t good for the heart.

  • @gidgetmoore-hopper2286
    @gidgetmoore-hopper2286 2 роки тому +1

    He said...he got eye contact with the baby...😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂...Im done...😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @Nurgleoneshot
    @Nurgleoneshot 6 років тому +1

    Found an addition to my greats list, Ali is killing it. Haven't heard a bad clip yet.

  • @CheriFresh
    @CheriFresh 6 років тому +20

    😂😂😂 lol yooo I complain just like them now. It gets so much done I swear