I'm estranged from my parents after a lifetime of trying and getting nowhere, being consistently invalidated, and having so much pent-up anger that I don't even know what to do with it anymore. I've learned through a lot of work and help that my mom is inherently unable to self-reflect, therefore she'll never be able to validate what I've been feeling for so many years. Because of this, we can never fix things and I have to accept that. However, I still let my parents see my kids (my husband brings them to my parents). My relationship with my parents has nothing to to do with the relationship between my parents and my kids. It would only hurt my kids, too. I want them to have a good childhood and all the people that will love them. I want them to have their family. My parents weren't abusive and wouldn't hurt my kids. My kids will see for themselves what my parents are like one day, and they can decide for themselves if they want a relationship with them or not. I have no right to take that away from them, and I'm not trying to punish or hurt my parents, I just couldn't take it anymore. Anyone who doesn't have a really good reason for keeping their kids away from their parents is causing unnecessary pain on their kids and parents, and your kids may resent you for it one day when they realize you robbed them of that relationship. It's immature to punish people in these situations, unless your parents are truly harmful to your kids. I felt no need to do that to my kids or my parents, regardless of the intense hurt and anger I have towards them.
I stopped sending gifts after being told that anything I sent was intercepted and disposed of. So I started a journal for my granddaughter that she can have if she ever wants to connect. The last time I saw her she was 3, she’s 7 now 😰. I’m 77. I have no idea why my daughter suddenly decided I was not a good person (It was definitely while she was in therapy for who-knows-what). This world is such a mess. 💔
Gosh, the timing is uncanny. I can't sleep because so much on my mind and waiting for a courier to arrive at 9am to collect and deliver my granddaughter's birthday present. (Its 5am in UK) My granddaughter is 8. I haven't seen her since she was 3. My daughter (32) is heavily influenced and i would go as far to say brainwashed by my mother (72). My mother is a wicked covert malignant narcissist and has been jealous of me all my life and my relationship with my daughter (that was one time very healthy). She made a career out of sabotaging me as a mother. I am the ostracised scapegoat of the family. My daughter now lives with my abuser and my granddaughter. She is bribed and controlled with money and gifts. I have a feeling anything i send is intercepted and wont reach my granddaughter. I take photos of everything so i can print them out and show her when she is an adult. I know they are poisoning her mind and lying to her. Extremely cruel. I feel so heartbroken and have terrible health issues. And an autoimmune disorder from the grief and the stress. It gets worse each year, not better.
Oh Vanessa! Im sorry this happened to you. How awful! Please do your best to treat yourself like you would a good friend. I understand how brutal this is for you. Do one thing everyday that says you are loved and valued.
@@youtubemariemorinestrangement thank you. I'm really trying. I keep waking up from night terrors, my body jolts awake, my dreams are terrible. I asked the courier to phone me after he'd delivered it, he said it was signed for by my mother and her behaviour strange at door, he agreed it might be intercepted. I feel exhausted. Drained. Total numb and empty. My life is like a Stephen King film. If you knew the details, the chapters, how I ended up in a psychiatric ward due to this woman's abuse, you'd agree. Just proud of myself I didn't drink any alcohol today. It usually pushes me to it. To block the feelings.
This whole thing is ridiculous!!! Why can’t you simply call it child abuse when the (So called Adult) PARENT is telling the grandchild that they can’t see their loving Mimi after they grew up with her for 13 years. Mimi is there day and night no matter what time for whatever…. Everything is great until 1 day it’s not- CUT OFF - no conversation, nothing! Control. I’m sorry but I really don’t think you know what evil is going on today . I’ve done everything possible… Seems like you’re always talking about “Boundaries” - What about the child’s boundaries?!? ( Oh, yeah- they CANT SPEAK) I feel like it’s 1930 here.., a child should be seen, but not heard. My grandchildren will wail in pain because they can’t see their Mimi and are told to be quiet. HMMM ? And you continue to blame the one that is trying to make amends, be adult, acknowledge the hurt, make repairs. I get hit with the most dagger in my heart words, but I guess I just have to keep taking it according to you. Idk how to feel about your channel anymore. ✝️🙏🙏🙏
I appreciate everything you have said. So first, thank you for sharing your thoughts on the ordeal grandchildren go through when they are abruptly removed without a word or option to choose. Not to mention the ordeal grandparents go through that have not been able to discuss and deal with whatever was the issue that prompted their concerns. I'm sorry you are going through this, truly. I know how this feels personally. My hope is to inform and offer suggestions. Boundaries can pre-empt situations that aren't discussed cause disagreements and then blow outs. If youve watched my other videos you know that I offer a wide range of topics with different perspectives. I know that AC can be off in their actions and so can grandparents. I agree with you that the children don't have a voice and this is truly hard on them. If only families would get help and work towards repair. For many this is possible.
I'm estranged from my parents after a lifetime of trying and getting nowhere, being consistently invalidated, and having so much pent-up anger that I don't even know what to do with it anymore. I've learned through a lot of work and help that my mom is inherently unable to self-reflect, therefore she'll never be able to validate what I've been feeling for so many years. Because of this, we can never fix things and I have to accept that. However, I still let my parents see my kids (my husband brings them to my parents). My relationship with my parents has nothing to to do with the relationship between my parents and my kids. It would only hurt my kids, too. I want them to have a good childhood and all the people that will love them. I want them to have their family. My parents weren't abusive and wouldn't hurt my kids. My kids will see for themselves what my parents are like one day, and they can decide for themselves if they want a relationship with them or not. I have no right to take that away from them, and I'm not trying to punish or hurt my parents, I just couldn't take it anymore. Anyone who doesn't have a really good reason for keeping their kids away from their parents is causing unnecessary pain on their kids and parents, and your kids may resent you for it one day when they realize you robbed them of that relationship. It's immature to punish people in these situations, unless your parents are truly harmful to your kids. I felt no need to do that to my kids or my parents, regardless of the intense hurt and anger I have towards them.
I stopped sending gifts after being told that anything I sent was intercepted and disposed of. So I started a journal for my granddaughter that she can have if she ever wants to connect. The last time I saw her she was 3, she’s 7 now 😰. I’m 77. I have no idea why my daughter suddenly decided I was not a good person (It was definitely while she was in therapy for who-knows-what). This world is such a mess. 💔
Gosh, the timing is uncanny. I can't sleep because so much on my mind and waiting for a courier to arrive at 9am to collect and deliver my granddaughter's birthday present. (Its 5am in UK)
My granddaughter is 8.
I haven't seen her since she was 3.
My daughter (32) is heavily influenced and i would go as far to say brainwashed by my mother (72). My mother is a wicked covert malignant narcissist and has been jealous of me all my life and my relationship with my daughter (that was one time very healthy).
She made a career out of sabotaging me as a mother.
I am the ostracised scapegoat of the family. My daughter now lives with my abuser and my granddaughter. She is bribed and controlled with money and gifts.
I have a feeling anything i send is intercepted and wont reach my granddaughter. I take photos of everything so i can print them out and show her when she is an adult. I know they are poisoning her mind and lying to her. Extremely cruel.
I feel so heartbroken and have terrible health issues. And an autoimmune disorder from the grief and the stress. It gets worse each year, not better.
Oh Vanessa! Im sorry this happened to you. How awful! Please do your best to treat yourself like you would a good friend. I understand how brutal this is for you. Do one thing everyday that says you are loved and valued.
@@youtubemariemorinestrangement thank you. I'm really trying. I keep waking up from night terrors, my body jolts awake, my dreams are terrible. I asked the courier to phone me after he'd delivered it, he said it was signed for by my mother and her behaviour strange at door, he agreed it might be intercepted.
I feel exhausted. Drained.
Total numb and empty.
My life is like a Stephen King film. If you knew the details, the chapters, how I ended up in a psychiatric ward due to this woman's abuse, you'd agree.
Just proud of myself I didn't drink any alcohol today. It usually pushes me to it. To block the feelings.
This whole thing is ridiculous!!! Why can’t you simply call it child abuse when the (So called Adult) PARENT is telling the grandchild that they can’t see their loving Mimi after they grew up with her for 13 years. Mimi is there day and night no matter what time for whatever…. Everything is great until 1 day it’s not- CUT OFF - no conversation, nothing! Control. I’m sorry but I really don’t think you know what evil is going on today . I’ve done everything possible… Seems like you’re always talking about “Boundaries” - What about the child’s boundaries?!? ( Oh, yeah- they CANT SPEAK) I feel like it’s 1930 here.., a child should be seen, but not heard. My grandchildren will wail in pain because they can’t see their Mimi and are told to be quiet. HMMM ? And you continue to blame the one that is trying to make amends, be adult, acknowledge the hurt, make repairs. I get hit with the most dagger in my heart words, but I guess I just have to keep taking it according to you. Idk how to feel about your channel anymore. ✝️🙏🙏🙏
I appreciate everything you have said. So first, thank you for sharing your thoughts on the ordeal grandchildren go through when they are abruptly removed without a word or option to choose. Not to mention the ordeal grandparents go through that have not been able to discuss and deal with whatever was the issue that prompted their concerns.
I'm sorry you are going through this, truly. I know how this feels personally.
My hope is to inform and offer suggestions. Boundaries can pre-empt situations that aren't discussed cause disagreements and then blow outs. If youve watched my other videos you know that I offer a wide range of topics with different perspectives. I know that AC can be off in their actions and so can grandparents. I agree with you that the children don't have a voice and this is truly hard on them. If only families would get help and work towards repair. For many this is possible.
@@youtubemariemorinestrangement❤