@@smorgasbord5715Could be that she has a few girl friends but they're not that close or they were not available for some reason to attend her party. Things happen and people need to cancel. Even if you're a close friend, if your dad is in the hospital, you need to cancel whether you want to or not.
gravitating towards male friendships is usually a result of being a tomboy, having "male" interests and/or growing up with a lot of men. you're just used to their sense of humor and way of being, and you feel comfortable around it. i was always like that, still am. even the women i've been friends with over the years were overwhelmingly tomboys themselves. i think people confuse women who have guy friends who are JUST friends, with women who have guy "friends" who they flirt with constantly, etc. and then a lot of these women who call it a "red flag" attack you for no reason and then wonder why some of us wouldn't want to be friends with them.
Yeah, I as a guy, only have female friends if I'm not attracted to them. Sometimes other reasons, but mostly the former most reason. I feel women don't recognize that most guys are trying to get in your pants.
I honestly encouraged my ex to have guy friends. But they were all “friends” who were hanging around in the friend zone. Actually I was in the friend zone and she was having sex with all of them while I paid her rent.
I think part of it is personality types. I'm an INTJ and there are a lot more INTJ men than women, it's rare in women... and unfortunately it means I sometimes come off as more judgey/logical and less empathetic/sensitive. 😅 As a mom I don't hang out with guys, but I am more often drawn to their conversations, if not about women... might also be bc so many women are leftist where I live.
As a female Electrical Engineer, in college I was surrounded with guys. I have a small handful of girl friends, but majority are guys. One of my guy friends is the one that introduced me to my husband, who is my husband's childhood friend. My husband and I share the same friend group and I am perfectly happy with my friend group. If any of the guys have girlfriends/significant others and bring them around I always try to make them feel comfortable and included. Not everyone is a pick me girl haha, the only one that I picked is my best friend aka my husband.
"Pick me" is a sabotage term other women use to take their competition down a peg, because they see that they get along well with men. It's right up there with unhappy women attacking prettier women, mothers with happy families, etc. The psychological term is "leveling."
I agree and also disagree at the same time. :P I feel like it can be true sometimes but also a lot of petty or jealous women seem to use that as a way to sabotage or name call other girls they feel threatened by. I knew someone for a while who seemed to fit both the category of the "pick me" and the girl who calls others a "pick me" so I think maybe its more common among a specific type of women and those women often are competing against each other for whatever dumb reason...
I got married at 19, just before I turned 20. I started dating my husband in high school when we were 16. 4 kids and so far, 4 grandchildren later, this spring is our 40th wedding anniversary. Where there's a will, there's a way.
This was my younger me! I’m super kind and compassionate, but very direct and transparent. Don’t want superficial stuff. Always got along well with boys. Anyway, as my older self I have some long time friends and newer friends. I’m also a Christian. I prayed and asked for the right friends ,that are women, for me. He answered my prayer with the best quality women and friends. Not tons of friends, but a special few! 🙌
Well said sister. My daughter grew up in a hosue full of males, so for her, it was only natural. Since she was baptized a few years ago, the Lord has helped her to navigate and discern the character of people better, and thus chooses her group more wisely.
Hey, that's a bit similar to my story! I guess your description fits me. I also got along well with boys and later on was hurt by girl friends, so having guy friends also helped with escaping the drama :D But when I got older I was taught having boy friends was wrong. Which was a little bit extreme, but made me pray for girl friends and I got some really sweet women on my path that have already been there for years now. And the fun part is, my male friends either befriended my husband or married my female friends, so they're still in the circle. I'm thankful :)
I think there’s a big distinction between girls who naturally have guy friends and girls who exclusively seek male friendships and actively shit on girls constantly calling them “too dramatic” or “annoying” and putting down girls for stereotypical things like make up. I have mostly guy friends but I still value my girlfriends and like make up and other girly things.
Not to mention, you naturally inherit male friends through marriage anyways. My female friends got married, so now I am friends with their husbands. And my husband has mostly male friends, so in marriage I inherited those friendships as well. Ideally, the ratio of male to female friends should always be equal, since ideally everyone will get married at some point.
Girls with mostly guy friends are always getting passed around by them. We're not dumb. The classic phrase "I don't get along with other girls" is also a great indicator of that
In my own personal experience, I have found female friends to be disloyal to the friendship and more inclined to betray me, hurt me and lie about me to elevate themselves above me or others. My closest friend is male; my best friend is my husband. I've never worn make-up (hate it!) so I am not comfortable when female friends start discussing make-up, nail polish, waxing, hair colour 😝 etc. But one of my male friends only ever talks about recipes and cooking, which also bores the hell out of me! I do have female friends, but there are only two with whom I am close enough to share my personal life with.
They don't just betray women, it's a trait in general 😂 Almost like it's a deeply present trait that is how they live and base their loyalty on the other people kissing their ass or never challenging them on behaviour etc. Women turn on each other with venom and will actively try and destroy others as social revenge
As a junior high teacher, if a student has a least one close friend they will be okay. Some kids just want no drama or do things to avoid the drama. Unfortunately, there are a lot of social media trends and shows that encourage drama. I personally could watch soap operas as I got older, because I couldn’t stand the lying and drama life.
@@sailorvenus4471 I used to think that too. I grew up with 5 brothers and also found it really hard to make female friends. But eventually in high school I found some good friends. Not all girls are full of drama.
I can relate too. I’m 33 now and have been married for 12 years, so obviously things have changed a lot since I got into my relationship. But prior to that I had a group of guy friends. I had one best girl friend and it was the two of us and all the boys since we were like 14. I’m thankful to still be connected to the guys and now friends with their wives (once I knew I was going to be serious with my now husband there were healthy boundaries with opposite sec friendships established, which sure was kind of sad, but made sense). But yeah now hearing commentary about women being friends with me is “pick me” or toxic is super weird to me. I didn’t seek that out, it just happened. And I didn’t date my guy friends, and many women don’t, so it isn’t being a “pick me”.
I'm a 33 year old woman. I grew up with a single father, a brother, and mostly male cousins. I've had a mix of girl and guy friends but mostly guys... they are more adventurous, typically living in the moment and not gossiping about the past or people, more into the things I'm into, and real/blunt about things. So yes, I usually surround myself with guys typically. Ofc not saying there aren't girls like that, hello ✋️ To add: I've been with the same guy for 18 years now and it's hardly ever been an issue. People really like to turn normalcy into drama, it's annoying.
Why do people care so much about celebritie's personal life? She seems like a sweet person that just happens to have more male friends. As long her husband/ fiancee doesn't mind, then nobody else should. Theres nothing wrong with it. It honestly says a lot about the people who commented those things.... they might have issues staying faithful and are just projecting. Plus women can be pretty cruel to each other.
It's one of those videos where I'm thinking "so what's the problem?". I assumed it was going to be that being reliant on her partner's friends might be isolating and iffy if they have a primary allegiance to him. Nope. Not concern for her welfare. Violating the code of the sisterhood. Knives out.
@@victorcates9330 I believe it's because people do not value or respect marriage like they used to. If you truly love your spouse, then no matter what situation you are put in, you will remain faithful. The only time there is an issue with somebody having all friends of the opposite sex is when they are inappropriate with them and don't present boundaries. In a happy, healthy, loyal marriage/relationship there should be no issues. I feel like the only people finding issues with this are the ones that are not capable of being loyal.
Can totally relate to this. Growing up for me was rough because I was a tomboy who of course enjoyed being active, with short hair and so on. I was bullied in grade school because I was a tomboy. I had minimal friends in general let alone any female friends. From grade school into my 20's I was always accused of being lez just because of my hair and I was active. Fast forward. Now 42 married for 14 years to a great man and we have been together for 23 years! And I have one female best friend who is amazing! All other people in my life are guys because we bowl together. Very comfortable with my life and who is in my life. It's a shame that everything we do is judged, scrutinized and picked apart. Be yourself, live your life for you. Your tribe rather it be a party of one or mob of people and either one be it female, male or a blend just live your life because we only get one of these and life is too short.
I am 32 years old, I have one friend from High School that I’m still friends with and another from jr high. Any new friends I have made in the last two years are ppl that will forever be my ppl. Just like you, in high school I had mostly guy friends. Personally I was always and still am very honest and blunt and I’ve found that most women can’t handle the truth, not ALL but most. Who has time for catty girls, not me! I’m a wife and mother my time is valuable. My friend’s list is short and I’m okay with that. I see nothing wrong with not having many girl friends. Find ppl that have the same values as you in life and if ppl grow and move in that’s fine too.
I’m a girl in college and I can’t make girl friends, I can only make guy friends mostly because I’m in a male dominated major. Other reason is I don’t like the girls I go to school with, they’re either nasty, doesn’t share the same humor or values, or we just don’t click. The only person I ever clicked with is my current boyfriend, I love the guy and love to hang out with him but I want to have girl friends to go out with and have fun with. It’s hard..
Girl, so relatable. My best experiences with friendship in college turned out to be mostly guys, along with my female handball partner, who is great! One of my most valued college friendship is a mutual friend of mine and my bf's, whom I introduced to him. They have so much in common that they're best friends now, and we're all 3 going camping next weekend. Nothing wrong with having guy friends, esp in this political climate--they're often the only ones around who might be conservative. ':D
"Pick-Me-Girl" is a term generally used by toxic women to attack other women who are appreciative of men, or who show empathy for men. However, the majority of women with a mostly male friend group are aware of the toxicity of modern women therefore they avoid having these toxic "frenemies"
In all niceness, that's not a pick-me girl because pick-me girls don't appreciate femininity, but de-value it to be accepted by men. A girl who acknowledges the flaws in women and can have empathy for men doesn't mean they hate other women or being around other women, pick me girls do the opposite and use that as a status-trope to compensate for insecurities.
I thought the same thing for a long time but I think there are nuances. Sure, when a girl gets solely called a pick me girl because she gets along better with guys than girls or has more stereotypically male interests and hobbies, that's a totally wrong use of the term and mostly used to talk down to that woman. What the term accurately refers to is women who proudly state that they are not like other girls because they "they are not dramatic, they don't ask as much, they don't want independence..." the list goes on with any statement that's sexist towards other women. It's the intentional misogyny used against other women, to single oneself out and present as better that actually defines a pick me girl. Those women deserve to be called out as they are back stabbing other women for their own gain. Sometimes it might seem hard to differentiate between the two, but I think it comes down to the intention and motivation behind actions and statements.
I think it's also a form of jealousy. Men loved that specific woman's company because they are chill, not annoying, and maybe share some hobbies, interests, or temperments, where the jealous woman who demeans the other woman can't get into that male circle.
You just proved yourself to be the perfect target for a pick me girl. Constantly being oppressed by the patriachy, women have a right to get angry, to be loud, to be emotional. And it's on men to respect that. Pick-me-Girls reinforce sexist stereotypes by encouraging that those stereotypes are correct and not in fact myths made of to not take the struggles of women seriously. By singling themselves out they place themselves above other women to make themselves seem more appealing. Of this is a matter of nuance. There are more masculine women and I myself have for a good part of my teenage life spend more time with guy friends. The key point is whether they intentionally place themselves above other women and encourage disregard towards their struggles.
For years i had been gaslit by my community that I’m a pick me girl because most of my friends are male but when you’re single in your 30’s it’s hard for me to relate to most of my female friends as they are mostly married and with children. I struggle to have conversations when my female friends usually hang out talking about their married life or sharing their experiences with raising children or other topics that i have not experienced yet whereas with my male friends we could talk for hours about gaming and music. Being called or treated as a pick me girl had cause me to lose some of my closest male friends as i had to purposely distant myself from them so I don’t have to be treated that way anymore. To listen to Brett talking about this topics really help me come to term that my friendship doesn’t have to be sacrificed just because people like to make assumptions. As long as my friendship doesn’t hurt anyone.
I love this video, because there is such a stigma behind girls having guy friends and guys having girl friends. I will never understand why people can't comprehend that some girls have an easier time being friends with guys and vice versa. Every person is different and is naturally drawn towards different people as friends that they believe they can confide in and trust, which includes different interests and past experiences that a person may have had.
She's spends most of her time surrounded by a largely male cast between Stranger Things and the Godzilla movies she's been in. Why is that hard to understand. Being able to make friends with coworkers is a good thing.
And she is typically cast as the lead, ehich probably makes the other female cast jealous to a degree. I have seen how they look at her when she is being asked more questions by the interviewers.....none of that is her fault but women can be very jealous and petty. She doesnt have that same vibe with her male co-stars
For me a "pick me" is more of a girl/woman who would always be like "other women hate me.. women are sooo problematic" without realizing they are the ones who doesnt really know how to be a friend. Ive seen that happening A LOT.
🤣🤣🤣Modern females call women “pick mes” when the woman isn’t like them lol. If they advocate for men’s rights over feminism they’d call her a pick me lmfaooo. The woman could be lesbian and they’d say she is only advocating for men’s rights to get picked by a man 🤣🤣🤣It’s all due to females hating women who are not like them lbr 😂😂😂
Women can be problematic, if they are the pack mentality and expect everyone to conform because they felt they had to. It causes resentment towards to nonconformist, even is she does or says nothing towards them or against them. Women were the biggest bullies in my life, especially those with extreme insecurities or lack of self worth.
Yeah but there are instances where some women truly had negative experiences with female friends without them being the bad friend. And that doesn’t make them a « pick me » if they only state this.
theres likelyhood theres more pick-mes among girls who has a lot of guy friends than there isnt. only a girl will also refer to their X-boyfriend or the guy theyre thirsting for as just friends.
That last part is literally what the women who accuse other women of being "pick-mes" are doing. Tearing down other women, usually women with better personalities, in an attempt to make herself more attractive to men. "You don't want her, she's a pickme. You should be choosing me instead."
@niallk9336 i can only tell based on personal experience about that. but far as i know. every girl tears eachother down and every girl calls eachother besties.every girl wants the guy that their friend circle wants. why you think the best way to get a girls attention is often through impressing her friends, in general how people proceeds you in a public setting? this is why.
@@dendrien "Every girl this, every girl that..." What, you met all four billion of them (or however many there are) that live on the planet? Quite a wild statement to make about _every_ girl...
You can have male aquaintances without having close male friends. She can be used to that but no decent man will want to date her. Talking about the facts only HELPS HER "Leave her alone" = let her ruin her life
@@damo9961 that's a pretty sad mindset dude, you can be close with anyone if you have restraint. Humanity would've died out long ago if we didn't make friendships with the opposite gender.
I work with mostly men. I go to work and go home and hang out with my husband and my 2 cats. Where am I supposed to find these female friends. Plus It is really hard to make friends as a grown up. So I say if you have people in your life that care about you. who cares if they’re men or women
Ur right Abt the rly hard to make female friends bit in this time. A lot are toxic and it’s so stressful to maintain them too, better to stay with the ppl u connect with ngl
Same! All my coworkers are male, and to be honest is a very relaxing and chill environment, sometimes I would like to have at least one girlfriend but meh I'm too old to find new friends...
I feel like there's nuance to this. I do agree that "a guy having more female friends (or girl having more male friends) is a red flag" is a strong way of putting it. But, I've found that if her primary friend group is of the opposite gender, while saying "girls don't like me; they don't want to be my friend", then it does raise concern for understandable reasons lol (the same is true vis-versa) It's anecdotal, but I've encountered a lot of my friends getting cheated on/getting their trust broken, not only because of the girl being thoughtless/careless around her "guy friends," but also because her "guy friends" having interest in the girls... They would stay close and get to know her, and make advances whenever the relationship reaches a more vulnerable stage. Other times, the girl liked the attention that she got from her "guy friends", and were viewed as a "back up" to the boyfriend if things didn't work out. People are a lot more twisted than you think lol. Like I said, I think it's unfair to label someone a "red flag" if they do have more opposite gender friends... but in the dating scene, I do think it's perfectly understandable if someone does have a level of caution because of this. Is it fair to inquire why they would have more opposite gender friends? I think it is, but obviously if she or he doesn't think it's any of their business, then leave it at that... but not addressing it at all/being dismissive to your partner's inquiring does/can lead to trust issues too.
I love that you did this topic Brett. I've noticed that Millie recive's a lot of hate on the internet, and I really can't imagine why on earth that is the case. She is one of my favorite actresess, and I have only nice things to say about her. She is a nice girl, and I wish her only the best.🙏
5:02 That article with the line: "It's not a good thing to be only as womanly as men would like you to be," really shows how detached from regular society these writers are. The women I knew who hung out with the guys were literally treated like *one of the guys.* There were no expectations of behaving "womanly," nor did we urge them to dress a certain way, wear more makeup, or pressure them in the ways that women pressure other women. These women would drink, swear, throw darts, talk smack, and pretty much everything else. Whoever wrote that article knows nothing about normal women who hang with the guys. 🙄
I used to love hanging with my guy friends for that reason. Not for attraction but for the simplicity. I prefer my BIL to his wife, not because aim hitting on him but because I don’t like her vibe. If a guy doesn’t like you, you deal with it and it blows over. A girl will plot in shadows and screw with you for a month and you still won’t know why. I don’t gravitate towards drama and bs, most who meet me would characterize me as no nonsense, all in, direct and laid back. I have found that women who don’t feel the need to “conform” and pursue all of their interests, regardless of appropriateness, are resented by the women who fell in line because they thought they had to. Guys do not play those games. They might say they’re jealous of what another guy has but they can appreciate he worked hard or had the skills, and sometimes luck, to get there.
TheBaumcm, that is me. I don't have brothers but was a tomboy growing up. I had interests that didn't aline with most girls, but I wouldn't give them up just to fit in. Therefore, most of my friends were and are male. This isn't a bad thing.
I understand you completely, I grew up with fewer girlfriends myself and it did bother me that i couldn`t maintain female friendship for long periods of time, i guess we didn`t have similar interests or something.
Brett I totally agree with you saying you felt like their was something wrong with cause you didn’t have many girl friends. I have 5 brothers and only 1 sister and my sister isn’t very close to my age. I enjoy playing video games and I sometimes play with my oldest brothers guy friends, but I’m not a pick me. I wish I did have a girl best friend but I don’t. I’m also not very social and I’m homeschooled so it makes it even harder. I plan to sign up for a co ops thing for homeschoolers and find guy and girl friends. 🙃
I relate to this episode so hard, as a teenage girl who struggles to make and keep female friends I don’t want to be seen as a pick me when I am desperately trying for a kind of girl friendship that’s all over social media. I’m thankful Brett showed me that I will get past this phase in life and make enough female friends to be able to have bridesmaids in my future
Same, girl. I think female friendships are harder to organically form than male ones. There has to be a more genuine connection between us women to bond.
I feel like if you had an extended “tomboy” phase then you were more likely to have guy friends than girls friends. Through high school I had more guy friends because I liked video games. I was never into fashion or makeup. But as I grew up I slowly started to embrace more of my feminine side and I now I enjoy having girl friends 😊
I wish so much I knew you growing up Brett! I was exactly the same. We are the same age, I was homeschooled, grew up with a group of boys who were great friends and never really fit in with the girls. I tried, but just never really clicked with any of the girls. Also, just like you it seems, after I got married I’ve somehow become slightly more feminine. If you ever make it up to central Kentucky it would be nice to have a coffee with you and chat! Keep doing what you’re doing girl! 💚
For 30 years my best platonic friend was a woman... and I had plenty of male friends too... you really don't understand how important it is to have platonic opposite-sex friends... they can point out both qualities and flaws that a love interest may fear telling you...
It is my belief that individuals lack the necessary wisdom to comprehend this concept. It appears that everyone has a desire to believe in the existence of an inflexible aspect of human relationships that inevitably leads to romance when a man and woman are involved. However, this notion is simply not accurate. Throughout the past 15+ years, my friendships have predominantly consisted of men, some of whom were married, some were not, and some who got married later on but were not initially. These friendships have proven to be immensely valuable. By befriending individuals who align with your personal values, you can establish shared boundaries and foster growth together, while avoiding detrimental mistakes.
This is an interesting topic. I’m the opposite in that I neeeeever made friends with guys. Men usually intimidate me and I never knew how to act around them. I’m grown up and married now, but being friends with guys was never my thing.
I actually have lots of brothers but also experienced this. Despite my mother being the opposite. I'm also not girly at all. So not sure how that happened.
I am now married, and do have good female friends. Very little REALLY GOOD FRIENDS. But the problem I had with having girl friends when younger it was because I hated the drama, and how mean girls could be.
I was super shy in middle school and a girl was nice to me and introduced me to her brother’s friends, she left the school and I got to know the guys in the group and kinda got out of my shell. I wasn’t shy around them because of my friend. I love hanging out with girls in my high school but I’ve never had much in common since even at home I would hang out with my dad all the time. It wasn’t intentional and I’m trying to make new friendships but it’s hard
Brett, I have to say I would love to hear about your journey to femininity, and have you discuss how being with your fiancé has made getting in touch with your feminine side easier. I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost three years but still find it difficult to give into my feminine side and adopt traditional female traits at times (such as maintain female friendships). While I have always liked the idea of femininity, I do have a hard time maintaining and cultivating my female relationships. I’m not even what you would consider a tomboy, I just have always had an easier time getting along with guys. I would love to hear your take on this in a future episode.
Fiancés guy friends is ok. A girl who has guy friends her dude doesn't know or isn't cool with is a problem. My wife is similar. Most girls hate on her for no reason. I've witnessed this myself, with women she's just met. Brett & Milly's experience with women in Hollywood is exactly what I'm saying
Yeah, I have had the same experience with other women. Growing up, I always got along better with my guy friends, the girls always brought some sort of drama to a conversation. And yeah, I have had random girls b*th about how I need to smile more, how I dress too nice or not nice enough, or how it's rude that I don't do small talk. Women nitpick everything and find issues with anything so they can feel righteous.
Most women hate other women who don’t conform, meaning accept that other women are the only path forward to determining your value and position. If you say, nah, I’m just going to be over here being the best version of me I can, even without saying a word about them, they will immediately fall on you like a pack of rabid animals because you are not accepting their external role in your life which they agreed to, and now resent you for being free from. Women who can say no to this often have more inherent confidence because they have something else to offer besides their “position” and that makes it worse, in my experience. In high school, I had guy and girl friends but the girls always showed their insecurities.
@@Crangaso Yes but. What if you have a fight and she ends up getting feelings for one of those friends? Having too many guy friends is actually a red flag, particularly if they dated or had feelings in the past.
From a mans perspective. A woman with only male friends is usually seen as "She is being passed around" basically. That's why it's considered a red flag by men for a woman to not associate with other women. That's the perspective I grew up learning anyhow.
I married a woman who had only guy friends. She turned out to be exactly the woman who the RED flag people are talking about. Woman did not like her. I believe there is a fine line between a woman who has some "guy" friends and a woman who hangs out with mostly only men. Personally I don't believe men and women who aren't married have a reason to be friends. It is just a slippery slope.
It's so annoying because I'm a guy who has a lot of girl friends, and you either get called like you like them all and have so much rizz, or you're g@y because you're friends with them. It's just really annoying on both sides.
It’s tricky. I have a female best friend and a male friend who’s more like a colleague. My husband is always number one though. Growing up, I didn’t have friends of either gender. I got bullied so much for being autistic that I didn’t have friends. I didn’t meet my best friend until college. My husband’s in a similar boat. He struggles to make friends and considers me his only friend. I want him to have friends so that he can find platonic fulfillment in other people, not just me. If he doesn’t have friends, there’s too much pressure for me to be everything for him considering that he’s estranged from his family as well.
Thanks for this video Brett! I always wanted more female friends and for some reason I never fitted in girl groups and ended up with more guy friends. I am now 28 and for the first time starting to have genuine female friendships, it's new to me and sometimes even a bit awkward because I feel like I missed out in 'girl talk and girl things' but it's beautiful at the same time. I never hated women, I love women! Luckily my husband did not see me having no girlfriends as a red flag 😂
I used to be the girl with only guy friends at one point, because the girl friends I had until then all betrayed me in some way, were jealous for whatever reason or were pick me girls who would belittle me in front of boys to seem cooler, but I was only 15yo. In highschool I eventually formed a new group of girl friends that were actually good to me and I found out that each one of my guy friends had a crush on me at some point, which made me view those friendships as not very genuine from then on, so I slowly distanced myself. I started dating my current boyfriend and since then I didn't feel very comfortable making guy friends, given the history of my previous friendships with guys. With that being said, I think people cannot be defined by their gender, but stereotypes exist because they are true to some degree. I stopped making guy friends and I have very few girl friends now. Friendships are hard to keep, they take a lot of work in my experience, no matter the gender. Just different issues with each.
I can relate to this. I always had male friends as well. And I don’t think that there is anything nefarious, they weren’t all trying to sleep with me, etc. And a lot of times when I was in a long-term relationship, we spent time with a lot of their friends. It was never a thing of “I don’t like girls.” I was never one of those people who believe that all women are dramatic and crazy and manipulative. It would be one thing if you go around vocalizing that is your belief. But simply just not having a ton of girls around at all times doesn’t mean anything.
I got along with men way easier from 16-40. I am a woman with 0 friends now. Every girl friend I had left me, moved, ghosted. I ghosted one in my 20’s. She was so incredibly negative. Rolled her eyes when I told her I was pregnant. I just literally cannot keep a friend. It sucks. Especially now that my kids are grown, I have more time for friendships with no one to hang out with.
I am very much a people pleaser. I found most of my male friendships lasted longer than my female friendships as many men seem to be chill. Most women tended to use me or try to gaslight me into saying I wasn’t trying hard enough. I am not perfect, but usually the routine would come out in cases where the female friends were struggling and so they would belittle me to feel better. It just was easier to make male friends. I would love female ones, I just don’t feel like I have meshed personality wise.
I don't personally want my wife leaving our child and I to go hang out with any male friend. I also don't think it would be appropriate for me to hang out with any female friend. Hard to judge from the outside with limited information, but sometimes people do try to push the false idea that it is all the same. Could not be further from the truth.
this is my best friend, she always had lots of guy friends and very few close girl friends. but i noticed a lot of the girls in high school didn’t like her because they thought that she felt like she was better than them which is not like her at all. she took leadership roles when others didn’t want to step up because she knew someone had to do it. if you ask me the girls were really just jealous of her…
Women calling women who have a lot of male friends “pick me girls,” is the exact reason why I have so many male friends. Al Bundy. “Never try to understand women. Women understand women and they hate one another.”
@@liannemarie2504 THANK YOU! I don’t understand why so many women don’t see that women like me (and you I’m guessing) don’t have a lot of female friends is because a lot of women truly are nasty. The women that will say things like “Yes girl!” to your face are the same ones that will say truly vile things about you the second you’re not around. Men are simple. They think you’re wrong, they tell you. They think you’re right. They defend you. They have an issue with you they come to you and say “Hey. This is my problem. Let’s fix it.”
I have the opposite problem as a woman. I grew up with three older sisters and mostly female cousins so I’m more used to female friends. Sometimes I felt “less then” bc I had few male friends. There’s going to be shade thrown at you no matter what you do: too skinny, too fat, too shy, too loud, etc etc. We can’t worry about the naysayers when it’s something innocuous like that.
I have felt like something was wrong with me because I connect better with guys than girls for a few months now - thanks for sharing your story, Brett. It really helped me to feel better, knowing that I’m not the only one who feels this way. I’m not a pick me girl or a mysoginist!
thank you for talking about this, Brett! I'm a girl who also doesn't have *many* girl friends and I'm really sick of the labels people try to stick on me for that. The thing is, I'm not trying to not have any girl friends, but I don't meet a lot of like minded females. So what does that leave me with? my brother, and my college guy friends I made in a male dominated field. I would love to make more girl friends, but God just hasn't introduced them to me yet. And I don't mind waiting for the right friendships. fake, surface friendships are too exhausting, so waiting is preferable.
Autistic women have more masculine traits than neurotypical women, and they tend to be tomboys and get along better with men. However, unfortunately, people have an extremely difficult time recognizing autism in women because they present much differently than autistic men. Consequently, they're frequently misunderstood.
That…. Actually explains a lot… Edit: I’m autistic myself and I was kinda of a tomboy growing up, still am actually. I could wear a skirt with a cute t and a graphic shirt with pants and a baseball cap.
One of my best friends is an autistic woman, high functioning, we grew up together. And like you said she was just a tomboy of the highest caliber when we were kids but her issues with girls mostly became evident in our early teens - she couldn't stand/understand the other girls social games/warfare which made it hard for her to build any real friendships them.. Boys/young men are socially simple creatures and she was comfortable with us after an tomboy upgrinding. She did have some girls be a-holes to her fairly early, at 12 13 and 14..at two different occasions she dealt with such bullying by responding with physical violence which only made her even more alienated among the other girls. They left her alone for the most part after that lol.. She was later diagnosed with autism at 17. Now at 30 she doesn't really have any close female friends, just a few acquaintances. She has never seemed bothered over this fact. Love her to death! She's brillliant.
When I saw growing up, from about 5th grade on, I always had 1 girl friend and the rest of my friends were guys. It was because other girls had a hard time being nice to me, so I gravitated towards having guy friends especially because I was a tomboy. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to be friends with other girls, I tried all the time, but I wasn’t down to have fake people in my life and most of the girls around were caddy and mean. Once I started dating I was always in a monogamous relationship and my boyfriends were always friends with the guys I was friends with.
I'm definitely in that club! Very few female friends in my history. I was never super girly and shared more interests that guys had. I was never flirty, I just enjoyed their company as pals. If anything, it has helped my relationship with my husband. He likes that I enjoy some of the same pastimes as him and how understanding I am of his "guyness". I wish there was an easier way for girls like us to connect with each other! With social media, there should be some way of doing so, but I don't know 🤔🤷
Lots of male friends is a red flag. The chances of at least a couple of them not being interested in more is low. Of course you’re going to get a long better with guy friends as a female. Men treat women different especially when they are attractive.
Learned in college my guy friends were usually drama-less. When I needed to clear my head or remove myself from stressful situations that's where I would go.
I was like this in middle school and highschool. I had a few girl friends, and I had a lot of guy friends but that was because every other girl was so toxic and tearing others down as well as myself. I was also a tomboy and was never flirty. The guys were a lot more fun to hang out with. But they had also still treated me like a girl in a positive way in a sense that I as a girl could still play football, soccer, basketball, volleyball with them no problem but they also let me go first or opened doors for me and I didn't look down on them or viewed them as misogynistic.
Growing up I’ve always had very very few friends period, being an introvert. I usually had about one good friend at a time I would regularly hang out with. As I got older (high school, college, etc.) same thing. I had many female acquaintances but did not connect with most of them well at all. I could be very cordial and have some fun with whoever, I’ve always been that way, but I have also always been very picky about who I spend my time with, because let’s be honest, there’s a lot of bad apples out there. Why should I waste my time on people who don’t care about important things or who are so rebellious against the truth they can’t see straight? No purpose in it.
I grew to despise my beauty , but also became confident (weird?) because I noticed how women generally disrespect me for no other reason that it has to be that. I’m a genuinely caring friend but I hate drama and aim to grow despite my failures or imperfections so I do feel like men treat it like a red flag because of the norm. It’s hard to get comfortable with.
Me personally I don’t believe straight females and males can be just “friends” especially if they’re super attractive 😭🤣 I’ve been called insecure for thinking this way but honestly it’s the truth. When I was younger I was also a tom boy because I was brutally bullied by the girls. It was literally like living out of mean girls. I found it more relaxed to chill with the boys and they were a lot more excepting and I’m greatful for those times. But now that I’m in a relationship I have absolutely 0 male friends cause my man is the only male friend I need.
I've seen videos of girls calling their guy friends and acting like they wanted to take things further and only once did the guy not jump at the chance. He was gay. I'm with you on the mean girls drama as well.
Gosh! Brett, I love your angle on friendship and the toll life takes on it and how to not stress so much on it evetual breakdown and gracefully moving on... It took me a while to understand and accept that I cant keep all of my friends as I would love. Especially since I came to realise I was the 'out of sight out of mind' person😢 and on the occassions I recalled my friends I would feel guilty I wasnt doing enough to keep our friendship inspite of the distance separating us...
I just saw in an interview that she met her best friend during stranger things and that they are still friends! Like yall gotta listen to what people say
For me a woman having more guy friends is a red flag, specifically if I am not friends with the guys. This is a personal preference. It’s a red flag for me because when I enter a relationship with a woman I am looking to get married, and the dynamic of her relationship will have to change a lot more dramatically with her guy friends. For instance… I don’t want her messing any other guys that are not family 1 on 1… and the same goes for me, I will not ever message any female that is not family 1 on 1… of they need to talk it’s through a group chat that I am in, or that she is in. And in my opinion if my or her friends can’t respect that boundary set by me and my future wife then they can go… idc if I have know you since the second grade… my future wife first, I love you ❤
I learned a very long time ago a girl that has guy friends is the biggest red flag there is. I was just dating a girl with nothing but guy friends and spinned that plate for as long as I could. She actually told me that I was the closet she ever was to having a boyfriend, but was moving super shady, never telling me what she’s doing with these friends, sharing texts, etc. Unless you break up with your guyfriends I break up with you and keep it going as long as I can. Guys can’t be friends unless it’s an over 10 year relationship
I have never in my life met a woman with mostly “guy friends” who hasn’t slept with multiple of them. People I’ve known. People my friends have known. Groups of people from all walks of life. This issue has been tested and reviewed by millions of people. They are always sleeping with those dudes or did frequently in the past. And at least 1-2 of them have feelings for that women. Pretending that’s not the case is for fools.
I had 85% male friends growing up. I slept with NONE of them. I’m 25 and married now. Don’t assume that just because someone is friendly means they’re screwing, that’s disgusting. Yes, a couple of my male friends did temporarily have feelings for me, and I was made aware of that, and in one case that meant the end of the friendship. It happens sometimes. Since girls tend to have hobbies and interests that don’t appeal to me, it made getting along with them very difficult. The couple of longer-lasting female friends I had eventually went the liberal route to such an extreme that I was forced to put distance between me and them (one of them ghosted me and never wanted to speak again over gay issues). It’s extremely difficult for many conservative young women to find other conservative young women to be friends with. This doesn’t mean that women and men can’t be friends and have no self control.
Yeah that's pretty sad dude. I know plenty, and they don't sleep around because they have human restraint. Have people just forgotten what friendship and socialising is in this day and age? Because the more I see of this, the more I'm starting to come to that conclusion.
Thank you for addressing this topic. My best friend is a guy, and most of my closest friends were guys too. I still do have some close girl friends. I just always felt more comfortable around my guy friends than most of my girl friends growing up. Generally less drama with guys. I am now married 35 years and a mother of 6 children (4 girls and 2 boys.) True friends, whether guys or girls is all that really matters 😊
That same moving on type of relationship also happens in the military frequently. I made super cool friends but once you transfer you rarely see them again.
Just because she doesn’t have many girlfriends doesn’t mean she’s mean to other women. A lot of the women that she’s met with them. She’s really kind.
Real
I mean, most wmen are insufferable so I get why she doesn't have that many g-friends
@@ElleD308no
@@ElleD308 it’s not even like that.. she clearly bc she doesn’t want ppl to use her for clout duh..
I'm just confused why she says she "doesn't have many girl friends", but also that she was the ONLY girl at her bachelorette/birthday party???
Millie "I have very few female friends"
Morons on social media "why doesn't she have any female friends" do people ever listen anymore.
Frr
I'm just confused why she says she "doesn't have many girl friends", but also that she was the ONLY girl at her bachelorette/birthday party???
@@smorgasbord5715maybe she has closer connections with her male friends than her female friends, makes more sense to invite people you're closer to
Let it to social media to ignore all nuance and argue the extremes.
@@smorgasbord5715Could be that she has a few girl friends but they're not that close or they were not available for some reason to attend her party. Things happen and people need to cancel. Even if you're a close friend, if your dad is in the hospital, you need to cancel whether you want to or not.
gravitating towards male friendships is usually a result of being a tomboy, having "male" interests and/or growing up with a lot of men. you're just used to their sense of humor and way of being, and you feel comfortable around it. i was always like that, still am. even the women i've been friends with over the years were overwhelmingly tomboys themselves.
i think people confuse women who have guy friends who are JUST friends, with women who have guy "friends" who they flirt with constantly, etc. and then a lot of these women who call it a "red flag" attack you for no reason and then wonder why some of us wouldn't want to be friends with them.
Facts
Yeah, I as a guy, only have female friends if I'm not attracted to them. Sometimes other reasons, but mostly the former most reason. I feel women don't recognize that most guys are trying to get in your pants.
Say it again for the people in the back!
I honestly encouraged my ex to have guy friends. But they were all “friends” who were hanging around in the friend zone.
Actually I was in the friend zone and she was having sex with all of them while I paid her rent.
I think part of it is personality types. I'm an INTJ and there are a lot more INTJ men than women, it's rare in women... and unfortunately it means I sometimes come off as more judgey/logical and less empathetic/sensitive. 😅 As a mom I don't hang out with guys, but I am more often drawn to their conversations, if not about women... might also be bc so many women are leftist where I live.
As a female Electrical Engineer, in college I was surrounded with guys. I have a small handful of girl friends, but majority are guys. One of my guy friends is the one that introduced me to my husband, who is my husband's childhood friend. My husband and I share the same friend group and I am perfectly happy with my friend group. If any of the guys have girlfriends/significant others and bring them around I always try to make them feel comfortable and included. Not everyone is a pick me girl haha, the only one that I picked is my best friend aka my husband.
"Pick me" is a sabotage term other women use to take their competition down a peg, because they see that they get along well with men. It's right up there with unhappy women attacking prettier women, mothers with happy families, etc. The psychological term is "leveling."
This!!
It used to be called cattiness
They love talking down about "manic pixie dream girls" as if some women aren't just pretty, weird and crazy. It's not our fault men love that combo! 😅
I agree and also disagree at the same time. :P I feel like it can be true sometimes but also a lot of petty or jealous women seem to use that as a way to sabotage or name call other girls they feel threatened by. I knew someone for a while who seemed to fit both the category of the "pick me" and the girl who calls others a "pick me" so I think maybe its more common among a specific type of women and those women often are competing against each other for whatever dumb reason...
The funny part is it is just a compliment at this point!!! 😂😂
I got married at 19, just before I turned 20. I started dating my husband in high school when we were 16. 4 kids and so far, 4 grandchildren later, this spring is our 40th wedding anniversary. Where there's a will, there's a way.
❤
it was a different time back then.
Same story here. Going on 7 years strong ❤ times aren't so different after all, if there's a will there's a way 💪
Yes !!!❤❤❤❤
Congrats! My parents 40th is this winter 😝
This was my younger me! I’m super kind and compassionate, but very direct and transparent. Don’t want superficial stuff. Always got along well with boys. Anyway, as my older self I have some long time friends and newer friends. I’m also a Christian. I prayed and asked for the right friends ,that are women, for me. He answered my prayer with the best quality women and friends. Not tons of friends, but a special few! 🙌
You only need a special few. Good for you!
Personally, I find that superficialty and shallowness is not limited to either sex.
Women aren’t any more superficial or shallow than men lol.
Well said sister. My daughter grew up in a hosue full of males, so for her, it was only natural. Since she was baptized a few years ago, the Lord has helped her to navigate and discern the character of people better, and thus chooses her group more wisely.
Hey, that's a bit similar to my story! I guess your description fits me. I also got along well with boys and later on was hurt by girl friends, so having guy friends also helped with escaping the drama :D But when I got older I was taught having boy friends was wrong. Which was a little bit extreme, but made me pray for girl friends and I got some really sweet women on my path that have already been there for years now. And the fun part is, my male friends either befriended my husband or married my female friends, so they're still in the circle. I'm thankful :)
Your AD transitions are legendary
I think there’s a big distinction between girls who naturally have guy friends and girls who exclusively seek male friendships and actively shit on girls constantly calling them “too dramatic” or “annoying” and putting down girls for stereotypical things like make up. I have mostly guy friends but I still value my girlfriends and like make up and other girly things.
Not to mention, you naturally inherit male friends through marriage anyways. My female friends got married, so now I am friends with their husbands. And my husband has mostly male friends, so in marriage I inherited those friendships as well.
Ideally, the ratio of male to female friends should always be equal, since ideally everyone will get married at some point.
Girls with mostly guy friends are always getting passed around by them. We're not dumb. The classic phrase "I don't get along with other girls" is also a great indicator of that
@@omi8015not how that works and married women hanging out alone with their guy "friends" is completely inappropriate
Girls with a group of guy friends use them for attention, backups, and to be passed around
These kinds of women are called pass around girls for a reason
It’s not like Millie doesn’t have girlfriends she just said she didn’t have many
In my own personal experience, I have found female friends to be disloyal to the friendship and more inclined to betray me, hurt me and lie about me to elevate themselves above me or others. My closest friend is male; my best friend is my husband. I've never worn make-up (hate it!) so I am not comfortable when female friends start discussing make-up, nail polish, waxing, hair colour 😝 etc. But one of my male friends only ever talks about recipes and cooking, which also bores the hell out of me! I do have female friends, but there are only two with whom I am close enough to share my personal life with.
That's me, I only have one gf. women have always been moody and conniving. I'm 45 yrs and I'm ok with only having one BF.F My husband is also my bff.
They don't just betray women, it's a trait in general 😂
Almost like it's a deeply present trait that is how they live and base their loyalty on the other people kissing their ass or never challenging them on behaviour etc.
Women turn on each other with venom and will actively try and destroy others as social revenge
That's High School behavior. Women grow up. As an adult if you have issues with other women you may want to look in the mirror.
@@dogwklr
YET women have lifetime friendships and fair far better single than single men because of this.
Sisters ALWAYS before Misters.
@@PB_324Few women grow up judging from how many are feminists
As a junior high teacher, if a student has a least one close friend they will be okay. Some kids just want no drama or do things to avoid the drama. Unfortunately, there are a lot of social media trends and shows that encourage drama.
I personally could watch soap operas as I got older, because I couldn’t stand the lying and drama life.
Millie was literally on an GRWM interview for Damsel the other day and her female bestie was there to support her. Some people just like projecting.
I don't care about drake's child bride at all.
She beat up Whitney Houston. You know?
She's a great actress. It helps a lot starting young like a gymnast.
Literally
@ayhay4686 yes Hollywood likes them really young I agree. They have a whole island designed for that porpoise.
as a girl that has all brothers and grew up with all boy cousins . i’ve always found it easier to make friends with males rather than females. idk why
Cause women are jealous of each other, drama, petty, will talk about you behind your back etc
We like to treat women friends like human beings and not gossip news.
Fr I grew up with all females and the only guy and I've found easier to make female friends than male friends
@@sailorvenus4471 I used to think that too. I grew up with 5 brothers and also found it really hard to make female friends. But eventually in high school I found some good friends. Not all girls are full of drama.
Cuz u got a brain from bros. My sis is the same way
I can relate too. I’m 33 now and have been married for 12 years, so obviously things have changed a lot since I got into my relationship. But prior to that I had a group of guy friends. I had one best girl friend and it was the two of us and all the boys since we were like 14. I’m thankful to still be connected to the guys and now friends with their wives (once I knew I was going to be serious with my now husband there were healthy boundaries with opposite sec friendships established, which sure was kind of sad, but made sense). But yeah now hearing commentary about women being friends with me is “pick me” or toxic is super weird to me. I didn’t seek that out, it just happened. And I didn’t date my guy friends, and many women don’t, so it isn’t being a “pick me”.
I'm a 33 year old woman. I grew up with a single father, a brother, and mostly male cousins. I've had a mix of girl and guy friends but mostly guys... they are more adventurous, typically living in the moment and not gossiping about the past or people, more into the things I'm into, and real/blunt about things. So yes, I usually surround myself with guys typically. Ofc not saying there aren't girls like that, hello ✋️
To add: I've been with the same guy for 18 years now and it's hardly ever been an issue. People really like to turn normalcy into drama, it's annoying.
Brett is a green flag
Kevin Costner agrees
IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN MEEEEEE!!!
@@fantaguyreal
LMFAO. The power of God supercedes all. No one can curse whom God has Blessed
Checkered Flag
Real
Why do people care so much about celebritie's personal life? She seems like a sweet person that just happens to have more male friends. As long her husband/ fiancee doesn't mind, then nobody else should. Theres nothing wrong with it. It honestly says a lot about the people who commented those things.... they might have issues staying faithful and are just projecting.
Plus women can be pretty cruel to each other.
It's one of those videos where I'm thinking "so what's the problem?". I assumed it was going to be that being reliant on her partner's friends might be isolating and iffy if they have a primary allegiance to him. Nope. Not concern for her welfare. Violating the code of the sisterhood. Knives out.
Women are incredibly cruel, especially if another woman refuses to accept the way that your value and position are only defined by other women.
@@victorcates9330 I believe it's because people do not value or respect marriage like they used to. If you truly love your spouse, then no matter what situation you are put in, you will remain faithful. The only time there is an issue with somebody having all friends of the opposite sex is when they are inappropriate with them and don't present boundaries. In a happy, healthy, loyal marriage/relationship there should be no issues. I feel like the only people finding issues with this are the ones that are not capable of being loyal.
Yeah. Exactly.
Honestly, I much more care about your spelling of celebrities than celebrities themselves.
Can totally relate to this. Growing up for me was rough because I was a tomboy who of course enjoyed being active, with short hair and so on. I was bullied in grade school because I was a tomboy. I had minimal friends in general let alone any female friends. From grade school into my 20's I was always accused of being lez just because of my hair and I was active. Fast forward. Now 42 married for 14 years to a great man and we have been together for 23 years! And I have one female best friend who is amazing! All other people in my life are guys because we bowl together. Very comfortable with my life and who is in my life. It's a shame that everything we do is judged, scrutinized and picked apart. Be yourself, live your life for you. Your tribe rather it be a party of one or mob of people and either one be it female, male or a blend just live your life because we only get one of these and life is too short.
I am 32 years old, I have one friend from High School that I’m still friends with and another from jr high. Any new friends I have made in the last two years are ppl that will forever be my ppl. Just like you, in high school I had mostly guy friends. Personally I was always and still am very honest and blunt and I’ve found that most women can’t handle the truth, not ALL but most. Who has time for catty girls, not me! I’m a wife and mother my time is valuable. My friend’s list is short and I’m okay with that. I see nothing wrong with not having many girl friends. Find ppl that have the same values as you in life and if ppl grow and move in that’s fine too.
I’m a girl in college and I can’t make girl friends, I can only make guy friends mostly because I’m in a male dominated major. Other reason is I don’t like the girls I go to school with, they’re either nasty, doesn’t share the same humor or values, or we just don’t click. The only person I ever clicked with is my current boyfriend, I love the guy and love to hang out with him but I want to have girl friends to go out with and have fun with. It’s hard..
Girl, so relatable. My best experiences with friendship in college turned out to be mostly guys, along with my female handball partner, who is great! One of my most valued college friendship is a mutual friend of mine and my bf's, whom I introduced to him. They have so much in common that they're best friends now, and we're all 3 going camping next weekend. Nothing wrong with having guy friends, esp in this political climate--they're often the only ones around who might be conservative. ':D
"Pick-Me-Girl" is a term generally used by toxic women to attack other women who are appreciative of men, or who show empathy for men. However, the majority of women with a mostly male friend group are aware of the toxicity of modern women therefore they avoid having these toxic "frenemies"
In all niceness, that's not a pick-me girl because pick-me girls don't appreciate femininity, but de-value it to be accepted by men. A girl who acknowledges the flaws in women and can have empathy for men doesn't mean they hate other women or being around other women, pick me girls do the opposite and use that as a status-trope to compensate for insecurities.
I thought the same thing for a long time but I think there are nuances. Sure, when a girl gets solely called a pick me girl because she gets along better with guys than girls or has more stereotypically male interests and hobbies, that's a totally wrong use of the term and mostly used to talk down to that woman. What the term accurately refers to is women who proudly state that they are not like other girls because they "they are not dramatic, they don't ask as much, they don't want independence..." the list goes on with any statement that's sexist towards other women. It's the intentional misogyny used against other women, to single oneself out and present as better that actually defines a pick me girl. Those women deserve to be called out as they are back stabbing other women for their own gain. Sometimes it might seem hard to differentiate between the two, but I think it comes down to the intention and motivation behind actions and statements.
I think it's also a form of jealousy. Men loved that specific woman's company because they are chill, not annoying, and maybe share some hobbies, interests, or temperments, where the jealous woman who demeans the other woman can't get into that male circle.
You just proved yourself to be the perfect target for a pick me girl. Constantly being oppressed by the patriachy, women have a right to get angry, to be loud, to be emotional. And it's on men to respect that. Pick-me-Girls reinforce sexist stereotypes by encouraging that those stereotypes are correct and not in fact myths made of to not take the struggles of women seriously. By singling themselves out they place themselves above other women to make themselves seem more appealing. Of this is a matter of nuance. There are more masculine women and I myself have for a good part of my teenage life spend more time with guy friends. The key point is whether they intentionally place themselves above other women and encourage disregard towards their struggles.
@@cosyreadingtimes8857is it sexist if it’s true?
For years i had been gaslit by my community that I’m a pick me girl because most of my friends are male but when you’re single in your 30’s it’s hard for me to relate to most of my female friends as they are mostly married and with children. I struggle to have conversations when my female friends usually hang out talking about their married life or sharing their experiences with raising children or other topics that i have not experienced yet whereas with my male friends we could talk for hours about gaming and music. Being called or treated as a pick me girl had cause me to lose some of my closest male friends as i had to purposely distant myself from them so I don’t have to be treated that way anymore. To listen to Brett talking about this topics really help me come to term that my friendship doesn’t have to be sacrificed just because people like to make assumptions. As long as my friendship doesn’t hurt anyone.
I love this video, because there is such a stigma behind girls having guy friends and guys having girl friends. I will never understand why people can't comprehend that some girls have an easier time being friends with guys and vice versa. Every person is different and is naturally drawn towards different people as friends that they believe they can confide in and trust, which includes different interests and past experiences that a person may have had.
She's spends most of her time surrounded by a largely male cast between Stranger Things and the Godzilla movies she's been in. Why is that hard to understand. Being able to make friends with coworkers is a good thing.
Right
Exactly! She practically grew up in Stranger Things, she was surrounded by more male presence and that’s ok.
i’m a nurse so i’m surrounded by women mostly lol haven’t had many “ guy friends” since high school other than my husband and my friends husbands
And she is typically cast as the lead, ehich probably makes the other female cast jealous to a degree. I have seen how they look at her when she is being asked more questions by the interviewers.....none of that is her fault but women can be very jealous and petty. She doesnt have that same vibe with her male co-stars
Except she doesnt have that many industry friends.... but she does have more guy friends than girl
For me a "pick me" is more of a girl/woman who would always be like "other women hate me.. women are sooo problematic" without realizing they are the ones who doesnt really know how to be a friend. Ive seen that happening A LOT.
🤣🤣🤣Modern females call women “pick mes” when the woman isn’t like them lol. If they advocate for men’s rights over feminism they’d call her a pick me lmfaooo. The woman could be lesbian and they’d say she is only advocating for men’s rights to get picked by a man 🤣🤣🤣It’s all due to females hating women who are not like them lbr 😂😂😂
Women can be problematic, if they are the pack mentality and expect everyone to conform because they felt they had to. It causes resentment towards to nonconformist, even is she does or says nothing towards them or against them. Women were the biggest bullies in my life, especially those with extreme insecurities or lack of self worth.
Yeah but there are instances where some women truly had negative experiences with female friends without them being the bad friend. And that doesn’t make them a « pick me » if they only state this.
@Anana315 if "everyone else is the problem," than YOU are the problem dear. learn some introspection
pick me is what woman use for other women, when they save mysoginist for men. Its witch trial speak
Millie is a much better role model than many of today's celebreties.
You talk so fast! You must have a ton of energy! Love the subjects you share
Be friends with whoever you vibe with. Period.
Exactly
That's ay.
Not the best advice but hey
“Bad company corrupts good character “ as my grandmother puts it.
Absolutely not.
I hate how overused the term „Pick-me“ is. I do definitely think there are women who tear down other women for male appreciation but it’s RARE.
theres likelyhood theres more pick-mes among girls who has a lot of guy friends than there isnt. only a girl will also refer to their X-boyfriend or the guy theyre thirsting for as just friends.
That last part is literally what the women who accuse other women of being "pick-mes" are doing. Tearing down other women, usually women with better personalities, in an attempt to make herself more attractive to men. "You don't want her, she's a pickme. You should be choosing me instead."
@niallk9336 i can only tell based on personal experience about that. but far as i know. every girl tears eachother down and every girl calls eachother besties.every girl wants the guy that their friend circle wants. why you think the best way to get a girls attention is often through impressing her friends, in general how people proceeds you in a public setting? this is why.
Honestly. I’ve realized that. I thought pick me’s were very common but they actually aren’t 😂😂
@@dendrien "Every girl this, every girl that..." What, you met all four billion of them (or however many there are) that live on the planet? Quite a wild statement to make about _every_ girl...
I needed to hear this😭
Your ad segues always make me smile.
Just leave Millie alone 😮 every other cast member on Stranger Things that she grew up with was a boy that’s all she’s used to.
You can have male aquaintances without having close male friends. She can be used to that but no decent man will want to date her.
Talking about the facts only HELPS HER "Leave her alone" = let her ruin her life
@@damo9961well she’s engaged and he seems fine with it 💀
Her and Noah are like BFFS, and isn’t he…
@@damo9961ummmm she's engaged soon to be married at 20y with the love of her life 🤷🏽♀️
@@damo9961 that's a pretty sad mindset dude, you can be close with anyone if you have restraint. Humanity would've died out long ago if we didn't make friendships with the opposite gender.
I work with mostly men. I go to work and go home and hang out with my husband and my 2 cats. Where am I supposed to find these female friends. Plus It is really hard to make friends as a grown up. So I say if you have people in your life that care about you. who cares if they’re men or women
Ur right Abt the rly hard to make female friends bit in this time. A lot are toxic and it’s so stressful to maintain them too, better to stay with the ppl u connect with ngl
Same! All my coworkers are male, and to be honest is a very relaxing and chill environment, sometimes I would like to have at least one girlfriend but meh I'm too old to find new friends...
@@bluemoon4944 nobody is too old!! U can find anyone anywhere.. it’s just hard that’s all 😭
Exactly. A friend is a friend.
Coworkers do not = friends.
gonna try this makeup brand
I feel like there's nuance to this. I do agree that "a guy having more female friends (or girl having more male friends) is a red flag" is a strong way of putting it. But, I've found that if her primary friend group is of the opposite gender, while saying "girls don't like me; they don't want to be my friend", then it does raise concern for understandable reasons lol (the same is true vis-versa)
It's anecdotal, but I've encountered a lot of my friends getting cheated on/getting their trust broken, not only because of the girl being thoughtless/careless around her "guy friends," but also because her "guy friends" having interest in the girls... They would stay close and get to know her, and make advances whenever the relationship reaches a more vulnerable stage. Other times, the girl liked the attention that she got from her "guy friends", and were viewed as a "back up" to the boyfriend if things didn't work out. People are a lot more twisted than you think lol.
Like I said, I think it's unfair to label someone a "red flag" if they do have more opposite gender friends... but in the dating scene, I do think it's perfectly understandable if someone does have a level of caution because of this. Is it fair to inquire why they would have more opposite gender friends? I think it is, but obviously if she or he doesn't think it's any of their business, then leave it at that... but not addressing it at all/being dismissive to your partner's inquiring does/can lead to trust issues too.
I love that you did this topic Brett. I've noticed that Millie recive's a lot of hate on the internet, and I really can't imagine why on earth that is the case. She is one of my favorite actresess, and I have only nice things to say about her. She is a nice girl, and I wish her only the best.🙏
5:02 That article with the line: "It's not a good thing to be only as womanly as men would like you to be," really shows how detached from regular society these writers are. The women I knew who hung out with the guys were literally treated like *one of the guys.*
There were no expectations of behaving "womanly," nor did we urge them to dress a certain way, wear more makeup, or pressure them in the ways that women pressure other women. These women would drink, swear, throw darts, talk smack, and pretty much everything else. Whoever wrote that article knows nothing about normal women who hang with the guys. 🙄
I used to love hanging with my guy friends for that reason. Not for attraction but for the simplicity. I prefer my BIL to his wife, not because aim hitting on him but because I don’t like her vibe. If a guy doesn’t like you, you deal with it and it blows over. A girl will plot in shadows and screw with you for a month and you still won’t know why. I don’t gravitate towards drama and bs, most who meet me would characterize me as no nonsense, all in, direct and laid back. I have found that women who don’t feel the need to “conform” and pursue all of their interests, regardless of appropriateness, are resented by the women who fell in line because they thought they had to. Guys do not play those games. They might say they’re jealous of what another guy has but they can appreciate he worked hard or had the skills, and sometimes luck, to get there.
@@TheBaumcm wait, your brother in law's wife is your sister, right?
@@enigma4526or her husband’s brother’s wife…
@@kirbyourenthusiasm I knew there was another option missing but I couldn't think of it, thanks !
TheBaumcm, that is me. I don't have brothers but was a tomboy growing up. I had interests that didn't aline with most girls, but I wouldn't give them up just to fit in. Therefore, most of my friends were and are male. This isn't a bad thing.
I understand you completely, I grew up with fewer girlfriends myself and it did bother me that i couldn`t maintain female friendship for long periods of time, i guess we didn`t have similar interests or something.
Brett I totally agree with you saying you felt like their was something wrong with cause you didn’t have many girl friends. I have 5 brothers and only 1 sister and my sister isn’t very close to my age. I enjoy playing video games and I sometimes play with my oldest brothers guy friends, but I’m not a pick me. I wish I did have a girl best friend but I don’t. I’m also not very social and I’m homeschooled so it makes it even harder. I plan to sign up for a co ops thing for homeschoolers and find guy and girl friends. 🙃
I relate to this episode so hard, as a teenage girl who struggles to make and keep female friends I don’t want to be seen as a pick me when I am desperately trying for a kind of girl friendship that’s all over social media. I’m thankful Brett showed me that I will get past this phase in life and make enough female friends to be able to have bridesmaids in my future
Same, girl. I think female friendships are harder to organically form than male ones. There has to be a more genuine connection between us women to bond.
you will! You just need to keep trying. There are other girls just like you looking for a gf hahahaha.
I feel like if you had an extended “tomboy” phase then you were more likely to have guy friends than girls friends. Through high school I had more guy friends because I liked video games. I was never into fashion or makeup. But as I grew up I slowly started to embrace more of my feminine side and I now I enjoy having girl friends 😊
Guys aren't your friends, they want to smash and you know that and like the attention and backup options it gives you
It's hard to make a friend in general, not just in Hollywood.
W take. Also- where did you get your mug and warmer! I want it SO BAD
You do your advertising so smooth I always end up watching 😂good job
Okay but other females ARE hard to get along with, there's usually jealousy or drama involved.
True true but u just have to find the calm,peaceful but fun ones 😭
where?@@delilahispeachyfresh2835
Yahs!!!!
Men have their own problems, too
You can be ugly or you can be pretty and they’ll still find reasons to hate you lol🤣🤣🤣
Brett just says stuff. She’s just being herself. It’s so genuine, and I love it.
'Brett just says stuff' I'm sorry but this is the cutest comment ever 😂
@@alyzak.8997 I know I’m cute, thank you.
I wish so much I knew you growing up Brett! I was exactly the same. We are the same age, I was homeschooled, grew up with a group of boys who were great friends and never really fit in with the girls. I tried, but just never really clicked with any of the girls. Also, just like you it seems, after I got married I’ve somehow become slightly more feminine. If you ever make it up to central Kentucky it would be nice to have a coffee with you and chat! Keep doing what you’re doing girl! 💚
For 30 years my best platonic friend was a woman... and I had plenty of male friends too... you really don't understand how important it is to have platonic opposite-sex friends... they can point out both qualities and flaws that a love interest may fear telling you...
It is my belief that individuals lack the necessary wisdom to comprehend this concept. It appears that everyone has a desire to believe in the existence of an inflexible aspect of human relationships that inevitably leads to romance when a man and woman are involved. However, this notion is simply not accurate. Throughout the past 15+ years, my friendships have predominantly consisted of men, some of whom were married, some were not, and some who got married later on but were not initially. These friendships have proven to be immensely valuable. By befriending individuals who align with your personal values, you can establish shared boundaries and foster growth together, while avoiding detrimental mistakes.
This is an interesting topic. I’m the opposite in that I neeeeever made friends with guys. Men usually intimidate me and I never knew how to act around them. I’m grown up and married now, but being friends with guys was never my thing.
-wife material
I actually have lots of brothers but also experienced this. Despite my mother being the opposite. I'm also not girly at all. So not sure how that happened.
All of my cousins and siblings are male but I rarely had many male friends. If I did then they were probably gay so I relate to this!
@@noonebutme9420 same!! Yes! 😂
I am now married, and do have good female friends. Very little REALLY GOOD FRIENDS. But the problem I had with having girl friends when younger it was because I hated the drama, and how mean girls could be.
But if you say that you’re a red flag, although it’s true!
I get why people like to listen to you talk now. i think this was actually a very honest conversation about your experience and i respect that!
I was super shy in middle school and a girl was nice to me and introduced me to her brother’s friends, she left the school and I got to know the guys in the group and kinda got out of my shell. I wasn’t shy around them because of my friend. I love hanging out with girls in my high school but I’ve never had much in common since even at home I would hang out with my dad all the time. It wasn’t intentional and I’m trying to make new friendships but it’s hard
Brett, I have to say I would love to hear about your journey to femininity, and have you discuss how being with your fiancé has made getting in touch with your feminine side easier. I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost three years but still find it difficult to give into my feminine side and adopt traditional female traits at times (such as maintain female friendships). While I have always liked the idea of femininity, I do have a hard time maintaining and cultivating my female relationships. I’m not even what you would consider a tomboy, I just have always had an easier time getting along with guys. I would love to hear your take on this in a future episode.
does your partner carry a lot of masculine energy?
Fiancés guy friends is ok.
A girl who has guy friends her dude doesn't know or isn't cool with is a problem.
My wife is similar. Most girls hate on her for no reason. I've witnessed this myself, with women she's just met. Brett & Milly's experience with women in Hollywood is exactly what I'm saying
As long as he prioritizes his husband over them then I don't see any problem.
@@amateruss
If she prioritizes her Husband over them - fully agreed
Yeah, I have had the same experience with other women. Growing up, I always got along better with my guy friends, the girls always brought some sort of drama to a conversation. And yeah, I have had random girls b*th about how I need to smile more, how I dress too nice or not nice enough, or how it's rude that I don't do small talk. Women nitpick everything and find issues with anything so they can feel righteous.
Most women hate other women who don’t conform, meaning accept that other women are the only path forward to determining your value and position. If you say, nah, I’m just going to be over here being the best version of me I can, even without saying a word about them, they will immediately fall on you like a pack of rabid animals because you are not accepting their external role in your life which they agreed to, and now resent you for being free from. Women who can say no to this often have more inherent confidence because they have something else to offer besides their “position” and that makes it worse, in my experience. In high school, I had guy and girl friends but the girls always showed their insecurities.
@@Crangaso Yes but. What if you have a fight and she ends up getting feelings for one of those friends? Having too many guy friends is actually a red flag, particularly if they dated or had feelings in the past.
From a mans perspective. A woman with only male friends is usually seen as "She is being passed around" basically. That's why it's considered a red flag by men for a woman to not associate with other women. That's the perspective I grew up learning anyhow.
I married a woman who had only guy friends. She turned out to be exactly the woman who the RED flag people are talking about. Woman did not like her. I believe there is a fine line between a woman who has some "guy" friends and a woman who hangs out with mostly only men. Personally I don't believe men and women who aren't married have a reason to be friends. It is just a slippery slope.
It's so annoying because I'm a guy who has a lot of girl friends, and you either get called like you like them all and have so much rizz, or you're g@y because you're friends with them. It's just really annoying on both sides.
It’s tricky. I have a female best friend and a male friend who’s more like a colleague. My husband is always number one though. Growing up, I didn’t have friends of either gender. I got bullied so much for being autistic that I didn’t have friends. I didn’t meet my best friend until college. My husband’s in a similar boat. He struggles to make friends and considers me his only friend. I want him to have friends so that he can find platonic fulfillment in other people, not just me. If he doesn’t have friends, there’s too much pressure for me to be everything for him considering that he’s estranged from his family as well.
Having only guys at your "bachelorette party" is rather questionable. 😬
Thanks for this video Brett! I always wanted more female friends and for some reason I never fitted in girl groups and ended up with more guy friends. I am now 28 and for the first time starting to have genuine female friendships, it's new to me and sometimes even a bit awkward because I feel like I missed out in 'girl talk and girl things' but it's beautiful at the same time. I never hated women, I love women! Luckily my husband did not see me having no girlfriends as a red flag 😂
Why does it matter anyway? Just befriend whoever you like.
No.
Befriend people that share your values. Values sustain over time.
@@larain6615Yes.
I used to be the girl with only guy friends at one point, because the girl friends I had until then all betrayed me in some way, were jealous for whatever reason or were pick me girls who would belittle me in front of boys to seem cooler, but I was only 15yo.
In highschool I eventually formed a new group of girl friends that were actually good to me and I found out that each one of my guy friends had a crush on me at some point, which made me view those friendships as not very genuine from then on, so I slowly distanced myself.
I started dating my current boyfriend and since then I didn't feel very comfortable making guy friends, given the history of my previous friendships with guys.
With that being said, I think people cannot be defined by their gender, but stereotypes exist because they are true to some degree. I stopped making guy friends and I have very few girl friends now. Friendships are hard to keep, they take a lot of work in my experience, no matter the gender. Just different issues with each.
Thank you for this!
I can relate to this. I always had male friends as well. And I don’t think that there is anything nefarious, they weren’t all trying to sleep with me, etc. And a lot of times when I was in a long-term relationship, we spent time with a lot of their friends. It was never a thing of “I don’t like girls.” I was never one of those people who believe that all women are dramatic and crazy and manipulative. It would be one thing if you go around vocalizing that is your belief. But simply just not having a ton of girls around at all times doesn’t mean anything.
Took me years to find good girl friends too. Happy for you and Millie who have friends to lean on
I got along with men way easier from 16-40. I am a woman with 0 friends now. Every girl friend I had left me, moved, ghosted. I ghosted one in my 20’s. She was so incredibly negative. Rolled her eyes when I told her I was pregnant. I just literally cannot keep a friend. It sucks. Especially now that my kids are grown, I have more time for friendships with no one to hang out with.
I am very much a people pleaser. I found most of my male friendships lasted longer than my female friendships as many men seem to be chill. Most women tended to use me or try to gaslight me into saying I wasn’t trying hard enough. I am not perfect, but usually the routine would come out in cases where the female friends were struggling and so they would belittle me to feel better. It just was easier to make male friends. I would love female ones, I just don’t feel like I have meshed personality wise.
I don't personally want my wife leaving our child and I to go hang out with any male friend. I also don't think it would be appropriate for me to hang out with any female friend. Hard to judge from the outside with limited information, but sometimes people do try to push the false idea that it is all the same. Could not be further from the truth.
this is my best friend, she always had lots of guy friends and very few close girl friends. but i noticed a lot of the girls in high school didn’t like her because they thought that she felt like she was better than them which is not like her at all. she took leadership roles when others didn’t want to step up because she knew someone had to do it. if you ask me the girls were really just jealous of her…
Always entertained by your content, it's awesome!
In my experience no Man is just friends they usually are just waiting in the wings for something more or to try anyway some don't wait either lol
man i love your way to add promotions
Women calling women who have a lot of male friends “pick me girls,” is the exact reason why I have so many male friends.
Al Bundy. “Never try to understand women. Women understand women and they hate one another.”
Nailed it
@@liannemarie2504 THANK YOU! I don’t understand why so many women don’t see that women like me (and you I’m guessing) don’t have a lot of female friends is because a lot of women truly are nasty. The women that will say things like “Yes girl!” to your face are the same ones that will say truly vile things about you the second you’re not around. Men are simple. They think you’re wrong, they tell you. They think you’re right. They defend you. They have an issue with you they come to you and say “Hey. This is my problem. Let’s fix it.”
It depensa, girls with only guy friends would be cause for concern.
Yeah.
@@masterDarts4188 "It depensa, girls with only guy friends would be cause for concern."
No. It wouldn't.
I have the opposite problem as a woman. I grew up with three older sisters and mostly female cousins so I’m more used to female friends. Sometimes I felt “less then” bc I had few male friends. There’s going to be shade thrown at you no matter what you do: too skinny, too fat, too shy, too loud, etc etc. We can’t worry about the naysayers when it’s something innocuous like that.
I have felt like something was wrong with me because I connect better with guys than girls for a few months now - thanks for sharing your story, Brett. It really helped me to feel better, knowing that I’m not the only one who feels this way. I’m not a pick me girl or a mysoginist!
thank you for talking about this, Brett! I'm a girl who also doesn't have *many* girl friends and I'm really sick of the labels people try to stick on me for that. The thing is, I'm not trying to not have any girl friends, but I don't meet a lot of like minded females. So what does that leave me with? my brother, and my college guy friends I made in a male dominated field. I would love to make more girl friends, but God just hasn't introduced them to me yet. And I don't mind waiting for the right friendships. fake, surface friendships are too exhausting, so waiting is preferable.
Autistic women have more masculine traits than neurotypical women, and they tend to be tomboys and get along better with men. However, unfortunately, people have an extremely difficult time recognizing autism in women because they present much differently than autistic men. Consequently, they're frequently misunderstood.
That…. Actually explains a lot…
Edit: I’m autistic myself and I was kinda of a tomboy growing up, still am actually. I could wear a skirt with a cute t and a graphic shirt with pants and a baseball cap.
One of my best friends is an autistic woman, high functioning, we grew up together. And like you said she was just a tomboy of the highest caliber when we were kids but her issues with girls mostly became evident in our early teens - she couldn't stand/understand the other girls social games/warfare which made it hard for her to build any real friendships them.. Boys/young men are socially simple creatures and she was comfortable with us after an tomboy upgrinding. She did have some girls be a-holes to her fairly early, at 12 13 and 14..at two different occasions she dealt with such bullying by responding with physical violence which only made her even more alienated among the other girls. They left her alone for the most part after that lol.. She was later diagnosed with autism at 17.
Now at 30 she doesn't really have any close female friends, just a few acquaintances. She has never seemed bothered over this fact. Love her to death! She's brillliant.
Yes. I’m mildly autistic. This is true.
When I saw growing up, from about 5th grade on, I always had 1 girl friend and the rest of my friends were guys. It was because other girls had a hard time being nice to me, so I gravitated towards having guy friends especially because I was a tomboy. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to be friends with other girls, I tried all the time, but I wasn’t down to have fake people in my life and most of the girls around were caddy and mean.
Once I started dating I was always in a monogamous relationship and my boyfriends were always friends with the guys I was friends with.
It’s bc you’re pretty. I always had the same problem, and did in my 20s too. Now I just have nobody.
I'm definitely in that club! Very few female friends in my history. I was never super girly and shared more interests that guys had. I was never flirty, I just enjoyed their company as pals. If anything, it has helped my relationship with my husband. He likes that I enjoy some of the same pastimes as him and how understanding I am of his "guyness". I wish there was an easier way for girls like us to connect with each other! With social media, there should be some way of doing so, but I don't know 🤔🤷
Lots of male friends is a red flag. The chances of at least a couple of them not being interested in more is low. Of course you’re going to get a long better with guy friends as a female. Men treat women different especially when they are attractive.
Learned in college my guy friends were usually drama-less. When I needed to clear my head or remove myself from stressful situations that's where I would go.
RIP Akira Toriyama
Omg the guy who created DBZ??
I was like this in middle school and highschool. I had a few girl friends, and I had a lot of guy friends but that was because every other girl was so toxic and tearing others down as well as myself. I was also a tomboy and was never flirty. The guys were a lot more fun to hang out with. But they had also still treated me like a girl in a positive way in a sense that I as a girl could still play football, soccer, basketball, volleyball with them no problem but they also let me go first or opened doors for me and I didn't look down on them or viewed them as misogynistic.
Growing up I’ve always had very very few friends period, being an introvert. I usually had about one good friend at a time I would regularly hang out with. As I got older (high school, college, etc.) same thing. I had many female acquaintances but did not connect with most of them well at all. I could be very cordial and have some fun with whoever, I’ve always been that way, but I have also always been very picky about who I spend my time with, because let’s be honest, there’s a lot of bad apples out there. Why should I waste my time on people who don’t care about important things or who are so rebellious against the truth they can’t see straight? No purpose in it.
I grew to despise my beauty , but also became confident (weird?) because I noticed how women generally disrespect me for no other reason that it has to be that. I’m a genuinely caring friend but I hate drama and aim to grow despite my failures or imperfections so I do feel like men treat it like a red flag because of the norm. It’s hard to get comfortable with.
Me personally I don’t believe straight females and males can be just “friends” especially if they’re super attractive 😭🤣 I’ve been called insecure for thinking this way but honestly it’s the truth. When I was younger I was also a tom boy because I was brutally bullied by the girls. It was literally like living out of mean girls. I found it more relaxed to chill with the boys and they were a lot more excepting and I’m greatful for those times. But now that I’m in a relationship I have absolutely 0 male friends cause my man is the only male friend I need.
I've seen videos of girls calling their guy friends and acting like they wanted to take things further and only once did the guy not jump at the chance. He was gay.
I'm with you on the mean girls drama as well.
🤦♂️ Sure they can, if they are mature enough.
@@kallioperobling3359 “when harry met sally” says it all
You are not insecure this is basic biology. I used to think the opposite then I married my “best friend”
@@jamesplymire5342My guess is you’re under age 30 lmao
Gosh! Brett, I love your angle on friendship and the toll life takes on it and how to not stress so much on it evetual breakdown and gracefully moving on...
It took me a while to understand and accept that I cant keep all of my friends as I would love. Especially since I came to realise I was the 'out of sight out of mind' person😢 and on the occassions I recalled my friends I would feel guilty I wasnt doing enough to keep our friendship inspite of the distance separating us...
THIS NEEDED TO BE SAID. THANK YOU👏👏👏
I just saw in an interview that she met her best friend during stranger things and that they are still friends! Like yall gotta listen to what people say
For me a woman having more guy friends is a red flag, specifically if I am not friends with the guys. This is a personal preference. It’s a red flag for me because when I enter a relationship with a woman I am looking to get married, and the dynamic of her relationship will have to change a lot more dramatically with her guy friends. For instance… I don’t want her messing any other guys that are not family 1 on 1… and the same goes for me, I will not ever message any female that is not family 1 on 1… of they need to talk it’s through a group chat that I am in, or that she is in. And in my opinion if my or her friends can’t respect that boundary set by me and my future wife then they can go… idc if I have know you since the second grade… my future wife first, I love you ❤
Correct brother
Aww Brett, I’m so happy for you! Looks like you and your friends had such a fun trip. 🎉😊
I learned a very long time ago a girl that has guy friends is the biggest red flag there is. I was just dating a girl with nothing but guy friends and spinned that plate for as long as I could. She actually told me that I was the closet she ever was to having a boyfriend, but was moving super shady, never telling me what she’s doing with these friends, sharing texts, etc. Unless you break up with your guyfriends I break up with you and keep it going as long as I can. Guys can’t be friends unless it’s an over 10 year relationship
Experience has taught me girls with guy friends are red flags. No guy just wants to be your friend.
I have never in my life met a woman with mostly “guy friends” who hasn’t slept with multiple of them. People I’ve known. People my friends have known. Groups of people from all walks of life. This issue has been tested and reviewed by millions of people. They are always sleeping with those dudes or did frequently in the past. And at least 1-2 of them have feelings for that women. Pretending that’s not the case is for fools.
1000%
1000% is brett a 304?
Cool, anyways I don't care be friends with whoever the hell you want.
I had 85% male friends growing up. I slept with NONE of them. I’m 25 and married now. Don’t assume that just because someone is friendly means they’re screwing, that’s disgusting. Yes, a couple of my male friends did temporarily have feelings for me, and I was made aware of that, and in one case that meant the end of the friendship. It happens sometimes.
Since girls tend to have hobbies and interests that don’t appeal to me, it made getting along with them very difficult. The couple of longer-lasting female friends I had eventually went the liberal route to such an extreme that I was forced to put distance between me and them (one of them ghosted me and never wanted to speak again over gay issues). It’s extremely difficult for many conservative young women to find other conservative young women to be friends with. This doesn’t mean that women and men can’t be friends and have no self control.
Yeah that's pretty sad dude. I know plenty, and they don't sleep around because they have human restraint. Have people just forgotten what friendship and socialising is in this day and age? Because the more I see of this, the more I'm starting to come to that conclusion.
Hi there Brett, thanks for sharing as always, you take care and enjoy your weekend sweetie 🥰❤️
Brett, you are describing my life. Thank you for the validation!!! 🥰
It's a red flag, because those guy friends are just waiting their turn.
Not having many girlfriends is not a red flag. Having many guy friends is a red flag.
Correct
Thank you for addressing this topic. My best friend is a guy, and most of my closest friends were guys too. I still do have some close girl friends. I just always felt more comfortable around my guy friends than most of my girl friends growing up. Generally less drama with guys. I am now married 35 years and a mother of 6 children (4 girls and 2 boys.) True friends, whether guys or girls is all that really matters 😊
That same moving on type of relationship also happens in the military frequently. I made super cool friends but once you transfer you rarely see them again.