No more comfort zone - the truth is, I'm in a free fall all the time
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- Опубліковано 14 гру 2024
- No more comfort zone - the truth is, I'm in a free fall all the time
Invisible Awakenings
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the hardest part of awakening is realizing we are waking up to the discomfort that we've tried to suppress, and which has often resulted not only in many mental/psychological blocks we've built, but also many physical and energetic. the frustration I feel at "reacting" is actually a beautiful opening and example of how I'm actually waking! as my copes and blocks break, and begin to no longer "work" (eg: dissociation, numbing with substances such as food or drug, psychological defences acknowledged and made conscious), it provides the opportunity for me to finally sit with all of it and simply allow it to be felt and experienced. but sometimes our frustration is more present & up front than our awareness that we are finally feeling. and that's ok. because it's simply just another part of being human - feeling the contraction is just as important as feeling the expansiveness. thank you, Chelsea. much love to all. xoxo -shannon
Exceptional...thanks..
Well explained…💫
I miss your meetings. My work schedule changed and I now work on wednesdays. 😢
The success is in the failure of the seeking.
The mind needs to burn itself out and recognize it is utterly hopeless. It can’t do or not do anything at all.
Recognizing my powerlessness over alcohol 10 years ago is how I got sober. Letting go absolutely of any idea or notion that I had some personal power over it. From there the recognition of powerlessness grew into I am powerless over all of it.
As the Buddha said
“Deeds are done and actions are taken but there is no individual doer thereof.”
That’s terrifying to the mind but it is also complete freedom.
There is still a constant apparent identification with the mind and its contents here but the space is seemingly getting bigger.
I don’t have a clue what the hell is going on and frankly, at 53, I’ve wanted out of this game or whatever for 46 years.
This mind has carried around and advertised suicidal thoughts, feelings and emotions since I was 9.
I both want to stay and want it all to be over already.
Something does anyway.
The catholic school trauma of eternal torture by devils and demons in a lake of fire is here frequently terrorizing my moods and emotions.
Absolute child abuse what they did to us kids threatening us with that crap. I’ve been afraid my entire life and trying to be “good enough” for “god” so that I won’t be burned and tortured for eternity.
The burning and torture is happening now and for over 4 decades carrying around the mental trash but it just won’t drop. Even did therapy around it, EMDR and deconstructing it, or trying to anyway.
Sigh.
Scared to death to die but want out at the same time. What a horrible dichotomy.
Sorry, needed to vent apparently.
Great talk. ❤
miss you in the meetings 💛 wednesdays are hard for folks to make... i'll try to post more clips from them here when possible
@3:51 poking fun. How can not ever be ourselves? It’s like the sunrise saying “oh my golden light isn’t blue enough. I wish I was less golden and more blue”. This literally is how I feel most times. I can shine in great moments with my kids and in the next feel like a total failure. It’s all by comparison. Comparison robs me from the amazement of any progress I seem to advance. Knocking me back behind of what is actual. Faaaaaaaack.
We can’t ever be different than what we are.
The feelings I have are only feelings, experiencing. To feel like a failure don’t you have to listen to the minds narrative “your a failure.”
I love using the inquiry question “what is this feeling without the mental narrative?”
I had knee replacement last year so there was a whole lot of pain for a while.
I used a couple different questions
“What is this if I don’t call it pain?”
and
“Where is pain when it’s not there?” Where does it go?”
and when I was calling it pain I would move into it and watch it asking
“Does it have a shape? Does it have a color? Dies it move? Is it hot or cold? When it moves, what is it that’s moving? Does it radiate or is it consistent?” Etc.
I put it under the microscope basically.
Very interesting work. The mind of course has a lot to say about that like “let’s just call it pain and keep it simple.”
What is the “you” that’s being “robbed” and and what is it that’s being stolen?
Where is progress?
What is advancing? From where to where?
What is the “you” that’s advancing and where are you going?
Idk. Those are some questions that appeared here you might be able to work with.
My mind has concepts and ideas, it has expectations of what awakening is. Those very ideas etc and just more thoughts, not to mention a form of apparent obstacle.
It’s funny innit? Having expectations of what something is when I don’t know what it is. This then keeps me from the very thing I think I want. 😂😂
How can I want something that I don’t know what it is?
Isn’t that crazy? Funny in a horrendous way because it’s a very real experience.
Anyway, I hope maybe something here was helpful.
Thank you. I find that place and back away, back into mind and I, into regrets and hopes, away from this...thanks
"it's like walking around without a safety net, but somehow that's a lot safer"
Love this. I've been understanding the freedom of this more and more as of late. If we don't create or believe in ground to land on, then what need is there for a net? Honestly these days it often feels like I'm actually clinging to the underside of the safety net, knowing I can let go but afraid of the free fall 🙃
Feel you on that one. Let’s grab a paddle because it sure feels like a very familiar boat 🚤 😅
@1:32 Comparison by nature is always going to pull us out of our direct experience and by default is misguided.
Thank you!
You are butifull
Thanks! I needed to hear this right now.💖
10. Trying desperately to understand how I was "friends" with people I loathe and despise, and how I thought that was normal
11. How on earth will I ever heal from the ceaseless life-long rage?
Wow! You are on point about the golden sky wanting to be blue. You’ve opened up my understanding. That was far from being a “stupid comment “ - on the contrary. Thank you for the video
hey just a heads up, the audio of this video is like -23Db which is crazy quiet
Can there be a little bit more tenderness to this? ❤🙏
No, this is maximum tenderness.