I can say I like Demetrius, but the one thing I really have no patience is that Sebastian's marriage dialogue confirms that they became family when he was still a child, so Demetrius had years to get closer and he didn't. The rest is understandable, at least to me, Demetrius doesn't seem to do what he does out of malice but rather because he has gotten used to doing it his way, I actually like it when I see him outside doing research and his tasks are interesting.
I agree. That one dialogue where you can let him tell you about Pelican Town’s history, I enjoy seeing him happy to talk about something (kind of because I wish more people would let me talk about it things I enjoy 😅). Considering the book in their room about being a step-parent, I think Demetrius tried, but gave up really quickly because Sebastian was likely very resistant to having a step-parent and later a half sibling. In his “logic” mind, he probably found it better to leave their relationship as is rather than risk bringing up fights and further damaging their relationship.
OMG THANK YOU for the neurodivergent support bit! I always thought the tomato scene kind of hinted at him being on the spectrum. As someone who is on the spectrum, it does hurt a little when people get mad at him in that scene. The line from Demetrius saying Robin’s work deserves appreciation is from the fair next to her little area with some piles of materials. Also, medical stitching thread is called suture in case you wanted to know
His favouritism and the way he treats Seb makes me hate him. Seb lives in the basement with no window, that is not a bedroom, the fact maru gets her own bedroom observatory and basement with a lab with her dad just shows how bad of a dad to Seb he is. Not to mention how he treats you when you talk to maru, Robin isn’t exactly innocent in this either considering she’s allowing Demetrius to continue treating Seb like that. Let’s not forget Demetrius came into sebs life likely when he was a toddler. This is why Seb is my go to to get him out of that environment because I’m in the same situation
I mean he basically shoved Sebastian into the basement to be forgotten, let’s face it. It’s why my lesbian ass has a hard time marrying Penny because I feel so bad for Sebastian, even though I would never date him IRL because I’m a lesbian and he smokes…
My question is why Robin didn’t build an additional room for him? Like, let’s say she had Maru after she built the house, she couldn’t add another room for her son???
Demetrius is just realy easy to poject your own problems on him. If someone feel neglected by their father, they see this relationship betwen Demetrius and Sebastian. If someone feel traped in "perfect child" imige and can't escape their overprotective, controling parents, they see this relationship betwen Maru and Demetrius. Someone you love over criticize your deam job or passion? Easy to see this in bed cutscene. In egghunt Demetrius have this line about bringing roe as a joke becouse noone specify what kind of egg it is all about. In this context is hard to belive tomatoes was a honest mistake. Maybe anoter joke that we don't recognise as joke, maybe "I am smarter than you and show this in most random situations" thing, but not honest mistake. I once knew autistic person who explain everything bad they do, even cheating with their autism so everytime someone say "that person did something messed up but they are autistic and don't know what they did" my blood boil. It was realy easy to project this types of acts on Demetrius and take me some time and effort to realise there wasn't any real proof of this in the game
you know what, you’re so right. he’s a great vessel for projection bc of how little we know about his personal background and him outside of his family.
Thank you for mentioning Robin in this discussion! I like Robin, but my hot take is that she is not a good mom. She is cool mom, she is loving mom, but not a good mom, because she allowed this crazy dynamics to happen. Sebastian feels left out and misunderstood by everybody in his family, including his mom. He likes hangs out on the railroad, because he doesn't feel that he belongs (I think this is one of his new 1.6 dialogues, which happens after railroad is open; I step upon it accidentally during my last playthrough, and I found it interesting). He wants to leave to the city, because he feels misunderstood and stays only because his connection to Farmer. And not only Demetrius is to blame, but also Robin. I would love to hear you talking about her. I think that she gets the opposite treatment to Demetrius or Pierre - because she is so charming and adored by the fandom, it slips that she has got her negative traits too. She is very stubborn, likes stuff to be done her way and still needs to learn to be more understanding to someones perspective. I think this is the meaning of tomato scene - when you agree with Demetrius, he says to Robin that he just wants her to understand his point of view, but that he'll try better to be more precise and working on their comunication. And she reacts with heart emoji, which I always understood that she'll try to be more understanding to Demetrius as well.
this is how i feel! i always see people bring up that demetrius doesn’t have any dialogue about sebastian but i’ve never seen robin mention maru in 200 hours of gameplay. they’re both lack luster parents
@@lilaott6495 I think this may be becuase Maru is not complaining about Robin and her family situation at all... She only brings once or twice wishing be closer with Seb, but overall never complains on her parents. Heck, she speaks fondly of both of them. Sebastian on the other hand complains a lot, especially on Demetrius. It is easy to symphatize with him, because he is visibly struggling. And he lushes it on Demetrius, so now we know who the main villain is.
I agree wholeheartedly. I think some characters are just "pure evil" and "pure good" in people's minds and when they do something that's questionable, they're either attacked or defended relentlessly, regardless of the evidence before us. I said it a little in the podcast, but any mom that is complacent in the isolation of her son from his stepdad (her new husband), isn't doing what she needs to be doing...
Agreed! I also dislike Caroline because of some of her flaws as well. I really like them overall as characters though because their flaws make them feel fleshed out.
Honestly he suffers a lot from the lack of proper development for a lot of non-marriage candidates. When half of the scenes involving him are him being difficult its easy to extrapolate that.
I'm autistic and even i thought he was a stupid nerd for calling a tomato a fruit. like yes I knew that it's *technically* a fruit, not why, but that it is. It's kinda like how Jimmy Neutron in the cartoon of the same name calls salt "sodium chloride" or whatever. It deserves a wedgie unless you're in a scientist lab. lol
I think Dem is alright, he isn't really "abusive" in my opinion. He is, however, a bit dense and lacks tact sometimes. I'd say he isn't a great stepfather to Seb, but with Robin, we know she can be a bit hot headed and combative with him.
i was a big Demetrius fan until i learned that “fun fact” that he never has a dialogue moment where he acknowledges sebastian, im not sure why but for me that changed my whole opinion. the tomato thing irritated me but it’s such a normal tiff that a married couple would have it seemed ultimately like a cute moment where u can disagree and be headstrong and still love eachother. but everything with seb… that’s not cool, that’s actively hurtful to a child. i’m not a parent but if i were i feel like that would bother me, that my partner doesn’t seem to care for one of our children. bc when u marry someone with a kid, that’s ur kid now, not to be overwhelming or hover, but show love, he may not show love in traditional ways but he could still have made an effort, an effort to foster connection between your children, an effort to prove you care bc yes that is something you have to prove. a child with trauma or abandonment issues or whatever it is needs that to be shown, they won’t assume you care, they’ll assume you hate them. it’s really sad bro
@@shepherd5610 the problem with that “fun fact” is that MOST of the parents don’t have a lot of dialogue about their kids. This is a limitation in CA’s writing, not anything indicative of the characters. Robin doesn’t talk about Maru, Kent doesn’t talk about Vincent, Jas and Shane barely talk about each other. Unless the character is important to the arc of the other, characters rarely talk about each other in Stardew. It’s a known flaw of the game but Demetrius is the only one that the fandom takes the lack of dialogue to mean anything about his character.
I feel like Caroline talks about Abigail a lot though, and Evelyn talks about Alex a lot. With Shane and Jas, she's at least involved in his heart event where she walks in and Shane is fussing at Marnie. I also feel like Jodi talks about her kids a lot.
@@sodorart There are parents that talk about their kids, I’m just saying the limitations in dialogue is a noticeable pattern and probably shouldn’t be taken as evidence for anything 😅
@amitks862 what? Kent does talk abt Vincent, how you prolly lnow his son better than he does due to him being away. In shane's story, Jas plays a huge part, with how she's the one good reason for him to not roll off the cliff, or how she runs off when he gets drunk. Alex talks abt his grandparents and vice versa, and abt his (gone) parents. Abigal's parents talk a bunch abt her and vice versa. Penny and Pam too. Jodi and her kids too. Only ones who stand out here are Robin-Maru and Seb-Demetrius. Admittedly I'm not actually sure if Maru herself ever brings up Robin, I'd have to check. If she doesn't, that'd def come out differently though than Dem-Seb, since Seb talks abt him a bunch, but is never mentioned by Dem
omg podcaaaaassssst!! The overprotectiveness is what gets me the most about Demetrius, the scene in their laboratory when Maru leaves for a few seconds and Demetrius kinda starts "threatening" the player with that "dad talk", I'm always like, "dude, wtf?", it always makes me cringe so hard. But I do think he tries, if anything he tries a little bit too hard that he verges overcompensating parenthood toward Maru, cuz he doesn't say shit when it comes to Sebastian and the player getting closer/dating.
Wow, that's a great point. Maybe he saw that his relationship with Sebastian was going to be bad and then overcompensated with Maru for years and years. Thanks for commenting!
Unnecessary Demetrius slander makes me so sad, he reminds me so much of my dad 😭 I feel like so much of the criticism is due to people projecting bad intentions, which I would also argue is at least in part due to him being the only black man in the game…
@@EnLaLuna23 person of color, neurodivergent coded AND he's married to the most popular non-romanceable woman? The vultures surrounded him before the game could even be posted on Steam....
@@EnLaLuna23 if he reminds you of your dad from Maru’s perspective then yeah you’d probably like him. But if he reminds you of your dad from Sebastian’s then the “slander” isn’t baseless. At the end of the day these are all imo very well layered characters with both good and bad traits, despite there being very limited dialogue and interaction with them as the player.
@EnLaLuna23 I’m glad I’m not the only one who picks up on this. Like Maru and Demetrius are the ONLY confirmed POC in the whole game and they feel kinda flat to me. And then people mainly blame him for the family dynamics and not Robin? Idk kinda sus imo
On the topic of the date night, I purposefully do not buy buildings/upgrades from Robin on Wednesdays or Thursdays so she doesn’t miss her Friday night dance dates. I’m here for bestie.
The statistics of the poll you gave in the beginning made me wonder, who IS the best Dad in Stardew?! Kent? I would assume Kent. Demetrius isn't great to Seb and Pierre is terrible to Abigail and I can't think of any other dads who are alive? Alex's Dad was an absolute POS. Maybe Shane? Shane is Jas's adopted Guardian, so her Dad for all intents and purposes, but I do think his drinking would be a bit of an issue? Wow didn't expect to be thinking of this so deep first this Wednesday morning 😂
Haley and Emily don't even know when their dad comes back...penny's dad left as well. Alex dad is actually the worst. Clint's dad apparently forced him to be sth he doesn't want to be (blacksmith).
I always read the “dog house” comment as a “ah, I misunderstood the situation, I think I upset my wife, i should probably give her space”. I think he is extremely neurodivergent coded
Pam please! Also, I've actually married Abigail, and the day after, Sebastian said, and I quote, "Now I only have one freind in this town..." So I don't think it's that he prefers not to make connections but rather that he just finds it hard to, and might need the other person to reach out first
I’m an Autistic woman. I believe Demetrius is potentially autistic, or at least neurodivergent since he takes things literally and maybe struggles with handling other people’s emotions. The tomato scene for taking things very literally, and he potentially tried to have a relationship with Sebastian but didn’t know how to handle any of his trauma, and didn’t want to force the father son relationship on to Sebastian especially if he showed repeatedly he didn’t want that. The main thing is there just aren’t enough events to flesh his character out more. Even just small moments that aren’t tied to Maru, and Sebastian. The people who make SVE added a very small event for him that just gives the player the tiniest piece of how he thinks.
What I think what happened between Demetrius and Sebastien is a result of both their personality. Demetrius just got marry with Robin who already have little Sebastien around. He just lost his father in some way or another and before he could get use to it his mom get marry again and immediately get pregnant of Mary. Sebastien who is already really introverted felt outcast by his family and shut himself even more. Demetrius tries by his own or/and with Robin pushing him to connect with the kid like the book he read told him to but they're both so different that they just don't get along much. Maru tries to help but Sebastien reject her since he feel that she stole his spot as only child and the affection of his mom. This is especially relevant since Robin probably didn't have much time for young Sebastien since she just gave birth and gave most of her attention to the baby. Sebastien probably already resented Maru as a child and the more she tried to connect with him, the more she was rejected by him or they couldn't understand each other. And the more effort she put the more people thought she was a good and thoughtful child and Sebastien was seen as problematic for shutting himself like that pushing him to think that it was a stategy of Maru to get all the attention in the family. He probably grew up with this thought process without ever having truly connecting with her. Demetrius probably gave him less and less affection with the time because again he's probably neurodivergent which mean that he really cannot understand his son, they have no share hobby and Sebastien already disliked him as a kid, rejecting him because again he's a kid. The problem became even worse as an adult since Demetrius didn't really have any responsibility left for Sebastien and probably didn't want to force a relationship that he had no interest in and wasn't working for years. Robin saw both her husband and her daughter try connect with Sebastien in vain and couldn't really blame them. She love her son and interact with him but since Sebastien has already been ostracized pretty much every time his mom interacted with Mary and Demetrius, he felt left out. And with time, it just gave the situation we have right now. Demetrius do not have much interest in this adult step son who reject him and have nothing in common with him. Maru like her brother but with the years find it more and more difficult to actually have and talk with him and Sebastien already have this manipulative image of her and is even less likely to talk to her and Robin know the effort that they both put for Sebastien but understand her son feeling so she can only try to give attention to both party but every time she's with Demetrius and Maru, Sebastien always end up left out.
Demetrius might have broken Sebastian's snowman which is puzzling! but maybe Sebastian thought it was Demetrius and it was actually the person or event that throws rocks at Linus' tent...
On his own, I like Demetrius better than last year when I returned to the game and properly got to know the characters. What I can't forgive is his treatment of Seb and favouritism of Maru, and what annoys me is that he's the kind of neurodivergent person who's completely unaware of it. I know someone like that irl and it's so frustrating. But like I said, I've come to like Demetrius better, which means I no longer hate him. The events he's in don't do him any favours and I can never bring myself to not side with Robin lol
I always found the hate towards demetrius to be rather unjustified really. Honestly thanks for helping me put my thoughts into words and question them. I do wish we saw some interactions between Seb and Demetrius. Also yeah, my parents fight much louder over mild inconvenient and much more ‘violently’ (I mean they will chase each other comedically with hangers if they get pissed off enough) so I found his and robin’s ‘fights’ to be rather tame
I think the whole "I'll be in the doghouse" thing is more self-deprecating than directed toward Robin. Plus, Robin can be a little harsh toward him unnecessarily like with the tomato thing; girl is seriously yelling at him over getting the wrong kind of fruit(though according to the game itself, tomatoes are vegetables, so there's that)... I sided with Dem on the tomato thing, but Robin on the bed thing.
Something that really annoys me about Maru and Demetrius as a black person is that they feel kinda underdeveloped in order to serve Sebastian’s story. Like, despite the fact that Maru is a bachelorette, she doesn’t really have much character development throughout her cutscenes and I don’t really feel like you get much of a sanes of her complexity in the same way you would if you married Haley or Sebastian. Same with Demetrius, it feels like in order for for Sebastian to be the black sheep of the family, we can’t see that Demetrius may be unequipped to understand Sebastian and his trauma, we have to see him as just mean to Sebastian. This is not to say that Stardew Valley or ConcernedApe is “racist”, it just follows a common pattern in media where the characters of color must serve the narrative of the white protagonist. It just sucks to me that when you marry Maru, you don’t get much of a sense of her feelings towards Sebastian other than wanting to be closer to him. Also, I think it could have been interesting if ConcernedApe had done something with the fact that Maru is kinda the favorite. We don’t really know how she feels about it, like does she feel pressured to succeed or does she feel worthy or guilty of that role? Idk, just my two cents.
I agree, and in fact, I think a lot of the bachelorettes (compared to the bachelors) are also really underdeveloped, and it's probs cuz CA can easily relate to male characters than female ones. You have Shane, for example, who undergoes a HUGE change and battles his mental illness, substance abuse and ultimately, his grief over his lost friends. Then you have Leah who overcomes.....what, exactly? And what about Emily, who was added at the same time as Shane? What development did Emily have...? And Penny? Etc etc. I love Stardew Valley but ofc, nothing is perfect and it's okay to critique and discuss critically!! Id love to see some changes for Maru in a later update and give her more substantial changes and development. It is crazy that Maru doesn't even know WHY her half brother hates her so damn much, when we see a more communicative relationship between Haley and Emily.
unless I'm remembering it wrong, I think CA once said that he wanted to be able to divorce robin and Demetrius to romance her but didn't know how to do it cleanly
I don't think Demetrius is evil, but I do think he didn't do well as a step father. I see him as being autistic and Sebastian has having some kind of trauma. My brother and I are both autistic and both have a lot of trauma. We have no connection. I only know about each new kid or pregnancy loss through mom because we see no reason to talk. I don't hate him, and I don't think he hate me, we just have no connection. I think Demetrius and Seb have failed to make a connection so Demetrius turned his attention to Maru. In Sebastian's marriage dialog he even admits that the rift between him and Maru is partly his fault.
I dont necessarily think its fair to compare carpentry, which is a craft and therefore inherently has some level of artistry to it, to something like medical care which needs to follow strict guidelines for the sake of someones immediate wellbeing. A lot of people (artists especially) single out that line because they understand the frustration of their work being undermined by the people around them and having to justify the value of what they put into the world. The target audience of stardew has for the most part only seen toxic marriages in their periphery, so the demeaning artistry is more personal and relevant to them. I'm sure concernedape himself has experienced this plenty which is why he added the interaction to the game
Ive seen some theories that he might be autistic and it causes him to think very literally and according to his own internal logic which sometimes means tomato is a fruit and he doesnt get why no one else understands that. I will say i was recently diagnosed myself and ive been consuming a ton of asd creators content over the last year to better understand it and myself, and one of the things thats come up frequently is the stereotype of autistic people being gifted in some way, often with the notion that they are secretly geniuses especially in STEM fields, which is a mildly harmfuk sterotyoe given many asd individuals dont really have an area they excell at or are often more held back by their unique experience that even a marketable special interest cant make up for. Hope that makes sense i didnt mean to sound preachy, uh tomatoes are fruit
I share alot with Demetrius not just our names being close, but he comes across as autistic, I have heard my ex wife friends make comments that I was a bad husband.
Demetrius is an interesting case I think he's likely neurodivergent and he struggles a lot with change so when Maru entered the mix he put his while focus on her, completely ditching seb
i honestly think Demetrius is supposed to be autistic. cuz like he argues whether a tomato is a fruit as well as the 4 poster bed thing. from an autistic persons point of view, being technically correct on things are very important as it is part of rigidity. also with the 4 poster bed he DOES have a point that we are literally chopping down tons of trees in the forest for all our stuff, like wasting extra wood is probably something we shouldnt be doing. and considering how much these townsfolk trash their town like they could use a little more care for their environment.
That's a great point, especially since Demetrius has a special request to help control the fishing population and such. He probably has a good eye on the quality of Pelican Town's cleanliness.
@@Alison2436 Demetrius and Robin might have had many conversations about deforestation and conservative use of wood already... it would make sense as you said given how he is concerned about balance
Hmm, at 13:11 ish, you list off reason's why I love Demetrius. I understand why he is annoying to some people, but, he is not a bad character (in my opinion). Also, yes, the whole "I wanna marry Robin" thing. I have little perspective on marriage and children, as I am a middle schooler, so I could be wrong in thinking he is a great guy.
Sebastian is kind of a prick, he doesn't like Maru, he doesn't like Demetrius, he is bothered by his longlife friends wanting to hang out with him... He stranded everyone way and want people to keep compreeheding him? Putting the whole weight of the situation on Demetrius or Robin is kind silly.
only annoyed when he is at work and wishes the friends would not say "oh you're not busy"... he is fond of them and plays and hangs out and makes music with them. and he cheers on Robin
I just think he's condescending and arrogant. He suffers from a problem I think alot of very "intelligent" people suffer from and that is, its not the fact that your right its how you present yourself.
I always saw Demetrius as a neurodivergent in some way. He's very much intense in what he like, not flexible, don't give attention to stuff he doesn't really care about #Sebastien and he hyperfocus on his work to the point where he can give any attention to his entourage
I can say I like Demetrius, but the one thing I really have no patience is that Sebastian's marriage dialogue confirms that they became family when he was still a child, so Demetrius had years to get closer and he didn't. The rest is understandable, at least to me, Demetrius doesn't seem to do what he does out of malice but rather because he has gotten used to doing it his way, I actually like it when I see him outside doing research and his tasks are interesting.
I agree. That one dialogue where you can let him tell you about Pelican Town’s history, I enjoy seeing him happy to talk about something (kind of because I wish more people would let me talk about it things I enjoy 😅).
Considering the book in their room about being a step-parent, I think Demetrius tried, but gave up really quickly because Sebastian was likely very resistant to having a step-parent and later a half sibling. In his “logic” mind, he probably found it better to leave their relationship as is rather than risk bringing up fights and further damaging their relationship.
@@MikaelaKMajorHistory the first part is from Stardew Valley Expanded but it certainly seems like something he would say and it was fun
@@cacaumassipanoficial6203 I have so many mods I can’t keep track of what’s from Vanilla anymore 😅
@@MikaelaKMajorHistory I remember this one very vividly because it gave scenes like this to many characters, it just makes me happy
My words to describe him would be “unemotionally unequipped to deal with Seb’s past trauma and knows it.”
OMG THANK YOU for the neurodivergent support bit! I always thought the tomato scene kind of hinted at him being on the spectrum. As someone who is on the spectrum, it does hurt a little when people get mad at him in that scene.
The line from Demetrius saying Robin’s work deserves appreciation is from the fair next to her little area with some piles of materials.
Also, medical stitching thread is called suture in case you wanted to know
His favouritism and the way he treats Seb makes me hate him. Seb lives in the basement with no window, that is not a bedroom, the fact maru gets her own bedroom observatory and basement with a lab with her dad just shows how bad of a dad to Seb he is. Not to mention how he treats you when you talk to maru, Robin isn’t exactly innocent in this either considering she’s allowing Demetrius to continue treating Seb like that. Let’s not forget Demetrius came into sebs life likely when he was a toddler. This is why Seb is my go to to get him out of that environment because I’m in the same situation
I mean he basically shoved Sebastian into the basement to be forgotten, let’s face it. It’s why my lesbian ass has a hard time marrying Penny because I feel so bad for Sebastian, even though I would never date him IRL because I’m a lesbian and he smokes…
My question is why Robin didn’t build an additional room for him? Like, let’s say she had Maru after she built the house, she couldn’t add another room for her son???
@@PhaethonCraftsI also can’t bring myself to date Sebastian because he smokes
6:57 Finally someone else said it. I'm convinced ConcernedApe built that whole family off of common sitcom tropes.
The book is called "Practical Tips for First-Time Step-Dads".
Demetrius is just realy easy to poject your own problems on him. If someone feel neglected by their father, they see this relationship betwen Demetrius and Sebastian. If someone feel traped in "perfect child" imige and can't escape their overprotective, controling parents, they see this relationship betwen Maru and Demetrius. Someone you love over criticize your deam job or passion? Easy to see this in bed cutscene. In egghunt Demetrius have this line about bringing roe as a joke becouse noone specify what kind of egg it is all about. In this context is hard to belive tomatoes was a honest mistake. Maybe anoter joke that we don't recognise as joke, maybe "I am smarter than you and show this in most random situations" thing, but not honest mistake.
I once knew autistic person who explain everything bad they do, even cheating with their autism so everytime someone say "that person did something messed up but they are autistic and don't know what they did" my blood boil. It was realy easy to project this types of acts on Demetrius and take me some time and effort to realise there wasn't any real proof of this in the game
you know what, you’re so right. he’s a great vessel for projection bc of how little we know about his personal background and him outside of his family.
Thank you for mentioning Robin in this discussion! I like Robin, but my hot take is that she is not a good mom. She is cool mom, she is loving mom, but not a good mom, because she allowed this crazy dynamics to happen. Sebastian feels left out and misunderstood by everybody in his family, including his mom. He likes hangs out on the railroad, because he doesn't feel that he belongs (I think this is one of his new 1.6 dialogues, which happens after railroad is open; I step upon it accidentally during my last playthrough, and I found it interesting). He wants to leave to the city, because he feels misunderstood and stays only because his connection to Farmer. And not only Demetrius is to blame, but also Robin.
I would love to hear you talking about her. I think that she gets the opposite treatment to Demetrius or Pierre - because she is so charming and adored by the fandom, it slips that she has got her negative traits too. She is very stubborn, likes stuff to be done her way and still needs to learn to be more understanding to someones perspective. I think this is the meaning of tomato scene - when you agree with Demetrius, he says to Robin that he just wants her to understand his point of view, but that he'll try better to be more precise and working on their comunication. And she reacts with heart emoji, which I always understood that she'll try to be more understanding to Demetrius as well.
this is how i feel! i always see people bring up that demetrius doesn’t have any dialogue about sebastian but i’ve never seen robin mention maru in 200 hours of gameplay. they’re both lack luster parents
@@lilaott6495 I think this may be becuase Maru is not complaining about Robin and her family situation at all... She only brings once or twice wishing be closer with Seb, but overall never complains on her parents. Heck, she speaks fondly of both of them. Sebastian on the other hand complains a lot, especially on Demetrius. It is easy to symphatize with him, because he is visibly struggling. And he lushes it on Demetrius, so now we know who the main villain is.
I agree wholeheartedly. I think some characters are just "pure evil" and "pure good" in people's minds and when they do something that's questionable, they're either attacked or defended relentlessly, regardless of the evidence before us. I said it a little in the podcast, but any mom that is complacent in the isolation of her son from his stepdad (her new husband), isn't doing what she needs to be doing...
Agreed! I also dislike Caroline because of some of her flaws as well. I really like them overall as characters though because their flaws make them feel fleshed out.
Honestly he suffers a lot from the lack of proper development for a lot of non-marriage candidates. When half of the scenes involving him are him being difficult its easy to extrapolate that.
I agree 100%. Hard to like someone when we constantly see bickering and disagreements and confrontation cutscenes
I'm autistic and even i thought he was a stupid nerd for calling a tomato a fruit. like yes I knew that it's *technically* a fruit, not why, but that it is. It's kinda like how Jimmy Neutron in the cartoon of the same name calls salt "sodium chloride" or whatever. It deserves a wedgie unless you're in a scientist lab. lol
I think Dem is alright, he isn't really "abusive" in my opinion. He is, however, a bit dense and lacks tact sometimes. I'd say he isn't a great stepfather to Seb, but with Robin, we know she can be a bit hot headed and combative with him.
Agreed! He seems a little clueless but I think Robin is very spicy too LOL
Demetrius' comment on Robin getting recognition for her "carpentry stuff" is his Stardew Fair dialogue.
i was a big Demetrius fan until i learned that “fun fact” that he never has a dialogue moment where he acknowledges sebastian, im not sure why but for me that changed my whole opinion. the tomato thing irritated me but it’s such a normal tiff that a married couple would have it seemed ultimately like a cute moment where u can disagree and be headstrong and still love eachother. but everything with seb… that’s not cool, that’s actively hurtful to a child. i’m not a parent but if i were i feel like that would bother me, that my partner doesn’t seem to care for one of our children. bc when u marry someone with a kid, that’s ur kid now, not to be overwhelming or hover, but show love, he may not show love in traditional ways but he could still have made an effort, an effort to foster connection between your children, an effort to prove you care bc yes that is something you have to prove. a child with trauma or abandonment issues or whatever it is needs that to be shown, they won’t assume you care, they’ll assume you hate them. it’s really sad bro
@@shepherd5610 the problem with that “fun fact” is that MOST of the parents don’t have a lot of dialogue about their kids. This is a limitation in CA’s writing, not anything indicative of the characters. Robin doesn’t talk about Maru, Kent doesn’t talk about Vincent, Jas and Shane barely talk about each other. Unless the character is important to the arc of the other, characters rarely talk about each other in Stardew. It’s a known flaw of the game but Demetrius is the only one that the fandom takes the lack of dialogue to mean anything about his character.
I feel like Caroline talks about Abigail a lot though, and Evelyn talks about Alex a lot. With Shane and Jas, she's at least involved in his heart event where she walks in and Shane is fussing at Marnie. I also feel like Jodi talks about her kids a lot.
@@sodorart There are parents that talk about their kids, I’m just saying the limitations in dialogue is a noticeable pattern and probably shouldn’t be taken as evidence for anything 😅
@amitks862 what? Kent does talk abt Vincent, how you prolly lnow his son better than he does due to him being away. In shane's story, Jas plays a huge part, with how she's the one good reason for him to not roll off the cliff, or how she runs off when he gets drunk. Alex talks abt his grandparents and vice versa, and abt his (gone) parents. Abigal's parents talk a bunch abt her and vice versa. Penny and Pam too. Jodi and her kids too. Only ones who stand out here are Robin-Maru and Seb-Demetrius. Admittedly I'm not actually sure if Maru herself ever brings up Robin, I'd have to check. If she doesn't, that'd def come out differently though than Dem-Seb, since Seb talks abt him a bunch, but is never mentioned by Dem
omg podcaaaaassssst!!
The overprotectiveness is what gets me the most about Demetrius, the scene in their laboratory when Maru leaves for a few seconds and Demetrius kinda starts "threatening" the player with that "dad talk", I'm always like, "dude, wtf?", it always makes me cringe so hard. But I do think he tries, if anything he tries a little bit too hard that he verges overcompensating parenthood toward Maru, cuz he doesn't say shit when it comes to Sebastian and the player getting closer/dating.
Wow, that's a great point. Maybe he saw that his relationship with Sebastian was going to be bad and then overcompensated with Maru for years and years. Thanks for commenting!
Unnecessary Demetrius slander makes me so sad, he reminds me so much of my dad 😭 I feel like so much of the criticism is due to people projecting bad intentions, which I would also argue is at least in part due to him being the only black man in the game…
@@EnLaLuna23 person of color, neurodivergent coded AND he's married to the most popular non-romanceable woman? The vultures surrounded him before the game could even be posted on Steam....
No literally!! Poor dude didn’t stand a chance. I’ll side with him forever just out of spite 🫡
@@EnLaLuna23 if he reminds you of your dad from Maru’s perspective then yeah you’d probably like him. But if he reminds you of your dad from Sebastian’s then the “slander” isn’t baseless. At the end of the day these are all imo very well layered characters with both good and bad traits, despite there being very limited dialogue and interaction with them as the player.
@@Microplasticindulger exactly, this stuff does hit different when you are the divorced kid who has to get used to new parent yourself
@EnLaLuna23 I’m glad I’m not the only one who picks up on this. Like Maru and Demetrius are the ONLY confirmed POC in the whole game and they feel kinda flat to me. And then people mainly blame him for the family dynamics and not Robin? Idk kinda sus imo
On the topic of the date night, I purposefully do not buy buildings/upgrades from Robin on Wednesdays or Thursdays so she doesn’t miss her Friday night dance dates. I’m here for bestie.
The statistics of the poll you gave in the beginning made me wonder, who IS the best Dad in Stardew?! Kent? I would assume Kent. Demetrius isn't great to Seb and Pierre is terrible to Abigail and I can't think of any other dads who are alive? Alex's Dad was an absolute POS. Maybe Shane? Shane is Jas's adopted Guardian, so her Dad for all intents and purposes, but I do think his drinking would be a bit of an issue?
Wow didn't expect to be thinking of this so deep first this Wednesday morning 😂
Haley and Emily don't even know when their dad comes back...penny's dad left as well. Alex dad is actually the worst. Clint's dad apparently forced him to be sth he doesn't want to be (blacksmith).
@GlenCocoon Yes, all of this! Like honestly, there are very few GOOD dads in Stardew and I never realized 😬
I remember that he said something posiitive about something Robin’s passion during the Ice Fishing Event.
4:32 I believe that dialogue is from the Stardew Valley fair. At least that’s where I remember it
I always read the “dog house” comment as a “ah, I misunderstood the situation, I think I upset my wife, i should probably give her space”. I think he is extremely neurodivergent coded
You raised some great points, Great video!
Thank you !!
Pam please!
Also, I've actually married Abigail, and the day after, Sebastian said, and I quote, "Now I only have one freind in this town..."
So I don't think it's that he prefers not to make connections but rather that he just finds it hard to, and might need the other person to reach out first
I’m an Autistic woman.
I believe Demetrius is potentially autistic, or at least neurodivergent since he takes things literally and maybe struggles with handling other people’s emotions. The tomato scene for taking things very literally, and he potentially tried to have a relationship with Sebastian but didn’t know how to handle any of his trauma, and didn’t want to force the father son relationship on to Sebastian especially if he showed repeatedly he didn’t want that.
The main thing is there just aren’t enough events to flesh his character out more. Even just small moments that aren’t tied to Maru, and Sebastian. The people who make SVE added a very small event for him that just gives the player the tiniest piece of how he thinks.
What I think what happened between Demetrius and Sebastien is a result of both their personality. Demetrius just got marry with Robin who already have little Sebastien around. He just lost his father in some way or another and before he could get use to it his mom get marry again and immediately get pregnant of Mary. Sebastien who is already really introverted felt outcast by his family and shut himself even more. Demetrius tries by his own or/and with Robin pushing him to connect with the kid like the book he read told him to but they're both so different that they just don't get along much. Maru tries to help but Sebastien reject her since he feel that she stole his spot as only child and the affection of his mom. This is especially relevant since Robin probably didn't have much time for young Sebastien since she just gave birth and gave most of her attention to the baby. Sebastien probably already resented Maru as a child and the more she tried to connect with him, the more she was rejected by him or they couldn't understand each other. And the more effort she put the more people thought she was a good and thoughtful child and Sebastien was seen as problematic for shutting himself like that pushing him to think that it was a stategy of Maru to get all the attention in the family. He probably grew up with this thought process without ever having truly connecting with her. Demetrius probably gave him less and less affection with the time because again he's probably neurodivergent which mean that he really cannot understand his son, they have no share hobby and Sebastien already disliked him as a kid, rejecting him because again he's a kid. The problem became even worse as an adult since Demetrius didn't really have any responsibility left for Sebastien and probably didn't want to force a relationship that he had no interest in and wasn't working for years. Robin saw both her husband and her daughter try connect with Sebastien in vain and couldn't really blame them. She love her son and interact with him but since Sebastien has already been ostracized pretty much every time his mom interacted with Mary and Demetrius, he felt left out. And with time, it just gave the situation we have right now. Demetrius do not have much interest in this adult step son who reject him and have nothing in common with him. Maru like her brother but with the years find it more and more difficult to actually have and talk with him and Sebastien already have this manipulative image of her and is even less likely to talk to her and Robin know the effort that they both put for Sebastien but understand her son feeling so she can only try to give attention to both party but every time she's with Demetrius and Maru, Sebastien always end up left out.
Demetrius might have broken Sebastian's snowman which is puzzling! but maybe Sebastian thought it was Demetrius and it was actually the person or event that throws rocks at Linus' tent...
On his own, I like Demetrius better than last year when I returned to the game and properly got to know the characters. What I can't forgive is his treatment of Seb and favouritism of Maru, and what annoys me is that he's the kind of neurodivergent person who's completely unaware of it. I know someone like that irl and it's so frustrating. But like I said, I've come to like Demetrius better, which means I no longer hate him. The events he's in don't do him any favours and I can never bring myself to not side with Robin lol
I always found the hate towards demetrius to be rather unjustified really. Honestly thanks for helping me put my thoughts into words and question them. I do wish we saw some interactions between Seb and Demetrius. Also yeah, my parents fight much louder over mild inconvenient and much more ‘violently’ (I mean they will chase each other comedically with hangers if they get pissed off enough) so I found his and robin’s ‘fights’ to be rather tame
I think the whole "I'll be in the doghouse" thing is more self-deprecating than directed toward Robin. Plus, Robin can be a little harsh toward him unnecessarily like with the tomato thing; girl is seriously yelling at him over getting the wrong kind of fruit(though according to the game itself, tomatoes are vegetables, so there's that)... I sided with Dem on the tomato thing, but Robin on the bed thing.
Something that really annoys me about Maru and Demetrius as a black person is that they feel kinda underdeveloped in order to serve Sebastian’s story. Like, despite the fact that Maru is a bachelorette, she doesn’t really have much character development throughout her cutscenes and I don’t really feel like you get much of a sanes of her complexity in the same way you would if you married Haley or Sebastian. Same with Demetrius, it feels like in order for for Sebastian to be the black sheep of the family, we can’t see that Demetrius may be unequipped to understand Sebastian and his trauma, we have to see him as just mean to Sebastian. This is not to say that Stardew Valley or ConcernedApe is “racist”, it just follows a common pattern in media where the characters of color must serve the narrative of the white protagonist. It just sucks to me that when you marry Maru, you don’t get much of a sense of her feelings towards Sebastian other than wanting to be closer to him. Also, I think it could have been interesting if ConcernedApe had done something with the fact that Maru is kinda the favorite. We don’t really know how she feels about it, like does she feel pressured to succeed or does she feel worthy or guilty of that role? Idk, just my two cents.
I agree, and in fact, I think a lot of the bachelorettes (compared to the bachelors) are also really underdeveloped, and it's probs cuz CA can easily relate to male characters than female ones. You have Shane, for example, who undergoes a HUGE change and battles his mental illness, substance abuse and ultimately, his grief over his lost friends.
Then you have Leah who overcomes.....what, exactly? And what about Emily, who was added at the same time as Shane? What development did Emily have...? And Penny? Etc etc.
I love Stardew Valley but ofc, nothing is perfect and it's okay to critique and discuss critically!! Id love to see some changes for Maru in a later update and give her more substantial changes and development. It is crazy that Maru doesn't even know WHY her half brother hates her so damn much, when we see a more communicative relationship between Haley and Emily.
unless I'm remembering it wrong, I think CA once said that he wanted to be able to divorce robin and Demetrius to romance her but didn't know how to do it cleanly
that seems very unlikely 💀
Pretty sure these are the same people who mod the game to marry Robin for the bad husband question lol.
I don't think Demetrius is evil, but I do think he didn't do well as a step father. I see him as being autistic and Sebastian has having some kind of trauma.
My brother and I are both autistic and both have a lot of trauma. We have no connection. I only know about each new kid or pregnancy loss through mom because we see no reason to talk. I don't hate him, and I don't think he hate me, we just have no connection.
I think Demetrius and Seb have failed to make a connection so Demetrius turned his attention to Maru. In Sebastian's marriage dialog he even admits that the rift between him and Maru is partly his fault.
I love these episodes but I wish there was a video of someone just passively playing stardew in the background or something
Stardew is proof that people can be good people but you don’t have to like them
So excited!!!!🎉
@@Madi.so3 yay!!!!
Justice for my man Demetrius!
The real question about demetries is where did he get tomatoes?
I dont necessarily think its fair to compare carpentry, which is a craft and therefore inherently has some level of artistry to it, to something like medical care which needs to follow strict guidelines for the sake of someones immediate wellbeing. A lot of people (artists especially) single out that line because they understand the frustration of their work being undermined by the people around them and having to justify the value of what they put into the world. The target audience of stardew has for the most part only seen toxic marriages in their periphery, so the demeaning artistry is more personal and relevant to them. I'm sure concernedape himself has experienced this plenty which is why he added the interaction to the game
Ive seen some theories that he might be autistic and it causes him to think very literally and according to his own internal logic which sometimes means tomato is a fruit and he doesnt get why no one else understands that. I will say i was recently diagnosed myself and ive been consuming a ton of asd creators content over the last year to better understand it and myself, and one of the things thats come up frequently is the stereotype of autistic people being gifted in some way, often with the notion that they are secretly geniuses especially in STEM fields, which is a mildly harmfuk sterotyoe given many asd individuals dont really have an area they excell at or are often more held back by their unique experience that even a marketable special interest cant make up for. Hope that makes sense i didnt mean to sound preachy, uh tomatoes are fruit
I share alot with Demetrius not just our names being close, but he comes across as autistic, I have heard my ex wife friends make comments that I was a bad husband.
Demetrius is an interesting case
I think he's likely neurodivergent and he struggles a lot with change
so when Maru entered the mix
he put his while focus on her, completely ditching seb
i honestly think Demetrius is supposed to be autistic. cuz like he argues whether a tomato is a fruit as well as the 4 poster bed thing. from an autistic persons point of view, being technically correct on things are very important as it is part of rigidity. also with the 4 poster bed he DOES have a point that we are literally chopping down tons of trees in the forest for all our stuff, like wasting extra wood is probably something we shouldnt be doing. and considering how much these townsfolk trash their town like they could use a little more care for their environment.
That's a great point, especially since Demetrius has a special request to help control the fishing population and such. He probably has a good eye on the quality of Pelican Town's cleanliness.
@@Alison2436 Demetrius and Robin might have had many conversations about deforestation and conservative use of wood already... it would make sense as you said given how he is concerned about balance
Hmm, at 13:11 ish, you list off reason's why I love Demetrius. I understand why he is annoying to some people, but, he is not a bad character (in my opinion). Also, yes, the whole "I wanna marry Robin" thing. I have little perspective on marriage and children, as I am a middle schooler, so I could be wrong in thinking he is a great guy.
Sebastian is kind of a prick, he doesn't like Maru, he doesn't like Demetrius, he is bothered by his longlife friends wanting to hang out with him... He stranded everyone way and want people to keep compreeheding him? Putting the whole weight of the situation on Demetrius or Robin is kind silly.
only annoyed when he is at work and wishes the friends would not say "oh you're not busy"... he is fond of them and plays and hangs out and makes music with them. and he cheers on Robin
I just think he's condescending and arrogant. He suffers from a problem I think alot of very "intelligent" people suffer from and that is, its not the fact that your right its how you present yourself.
I always saw Demetrius as a neurodivergent in some way. He's very much intense in what he like, not flexible, don't give attention to stuff he doesn't really care about #Sebastien and he hyperfocus on his work to the point where he can give any attention to his entourage