"Scientifically Informed" ... yet, with a highly Philosophical approach. Your treatment of these highly complex and complicated topics is tops! Very stark contrast to Jordan Peterson, who strikes me as a bit too rigidly dogmatic. .. almost like one of those Televangelist types who knows everyone better than they know themselves. A bit presumptuous for my taste. Your presentation is far more objective, opening multiple views of multiple aspects, and bending over backwards to ensure that your viewers are aware of just how complex and complicated these issues are, and not trying to convince us that you know it all. Such humility signals credibility in my mind. Needless to say, your approach gets top billing with me. A true intellectual. Thank You, Doctor.
Just a thought of me Dr. Grande. "Resilience is that indefinable quality that allows you to be knocked down and then come back stronger than ever". Thanks again for this video 😃🇳🇱
I agree with you, doctor. If a family loses a child, or heaven forbid, even more; how can we dare expect them to bounce back and just pull up their bootstraps? Sometimes resilience, or lack thereof, is a just a normal response and not a weakness at all, imo. I loved this video - really important subject. Thank you, Dr Grande! 👍🌹
thank you for your clarity, accuracy, and wisdom. My experience is that I could cope until I couldn't, and then I couldn't. I am learning to be better at coping; better at managing myself, and dealing with trauma and manage regulation/disregulation; and also to avoid the people who traumatise me. This video is interesting. I am not going to worry too much about whether I am resilient or not, I am going to try to face life with hope and humility.
My high resilience kept me from seeking professional help when I really should have. Always had this "it's fine" mentality. And now that I've seen a therapist for few months, she keeps asking me how on earth are you still alive and well? That kind of creeps me out. I didn't know my life was so horrible.
I really like Michael Ungar's definition of resilience: "Human resilience is defined here as the capacity of a biopsychosocial system (this can include an individual, a family, or a community) to navigate to the resources necessary to sustain positive functioning under stress, as well as the capacity of systems to negotiate for resources to be provided in ways that are experienced as meaningful." (Ungar, 2019)
Right. A person may have had experiences that they coped with well and based on that have a belief that they are resilient and that person may then have an experience that they never anticipated of course but they never anticipated more importantly their reaction to it. I think in practice it's more useful to talk about resilience as a way to regain a sense of control by learning a certain set of skills that make you feel more in control of your life. I definitely would never want to give a client the impression that because they experience some event that was traumatic for them that means that they weren't resilient therefore they were deficient in some area. I also think you are correct that to instill hope is a great way to motivate people to improve their lives. You can't go wrong with hope. And as long as you are living and breathing there is hope. 🙂
Thankyou for another interesting video Dr Grande. I couldn’t agree more with your thought that there is a “limit to resilience”. It’s like the adage of “the straw that broke the camel’s back” ..you may be able to cope with one or two adverse events at a time but there comes a point where the third or fourth thing breaks you. I’ve bounced back from previous job loss / relationship breakdown / horrible cases at work (ambulance & ED) etc individually but put them all together with mTBI, misdiagnosis, loss of career, financial insecurity, loss of home and now I have trouble coping with any of it.
I did my PhD dissertation challenging the defn of hope. One of my classmates was going after resilience in convicts, but really discovered a way to initiate accountability for their crime . Interesting concept resilience.
@@joywebster2678 Thanx, I'll definitely look into it, sounds very interesting. But I was actually wondering more about your thesis since hope is one of the concepts I'm especially interested in. You don't have to reveal any names of course, I'm just generally interested in some of the ideas behind your work.
@@NegledushevaKci all the lit describes hope as having a goal and the map or way to achieve it. My research showed that hope that has meaning for people is found in something the individual identifies with in nature. Some examples were..sunrise, annual growth of sunflower fields, annual salmon run....none of the participants knew each other, and when asked through a variety of ways, these were things that gave them hope and that they could refer to when sad, depressed or anxious. None of the subjects mentioned goals or plans.
This was really interesting sir ! I have always thanked God for making me into a grunt. Why ? Because grunts can "take it" and keep taking it. However: When I learned of my wife's oopsie, there was nothing sustaining me, and it broke me something serious. Hope put me back together, and that hope in us sustained the both. I never knew what it would be like not having resilience until that time. Yo, thank you for another video sir, and have a wonderful evening :)
I think it means you refuse to give up on life, you're a fighter, refuse to die or too stubborn to give up, though you probably should have multiple times in life. Many abuse survivors are very adept at dodging the harsh bullets of life, despite life still being difficult.
This is how I was in regard to my headaches! Kept going till something popped that looks like snow in the back of my head under MRI. So. There is only so much fuel in the notion of "working hard". Now I'm a huge wuss about any kind of head pain!
Dr. Grande I should like you to do a review of Scott Pecks book “people of the lie’ - that is to dr. Grande...please. It fits into narcissism I believe...
Erik Wade, I think perhaps stoicism masks emotions in spite of the situation, but it doesn't necessarily mean the person has a strong resilience because they might fall apart in private and hide their weak resilience. This has been my experience.
Very interesting input! I feel that the locus of control might be the key here. Perhaps working towards an inward shift (if this is even possible?) can strengthen resilience - and ultimately hope as well.
Resilience I think is affected by knowledge, scientific fact-based knowledge. Tragedy can befall you that makes you wiser. Therein lies the hope; that we can always learn something from adversity.
Dr. Grande: Can you do a show on the relationship between "The Bird" and "Louis Zamberini" on the movie called "Unbroken"? It's a relationship that is hard to understand. What type of personality does "The Bird" have? Thanks for considering this.
Leslie Lang Dr. Grande I should like you to do a review of Scott Pecks book “people of the lie’ - that is to dr. Grande...please. It fits into narcissism I believe...
Can you explore and explain how the army works with resilience? Doesn't the U.S army systematically breaks down their recruits just to build them up again? There must be a lot of research within the army that supports this practice, but perhaps not for the good of the individual.
Post-traumatic growth is a real key area of interest. We need to be clear what are the subjective and objective outcomes, but also understand that repeated trauma can really lead to a rapid decline in resilience following growth. Please check out our video on this for more awareness...enjoyed your video.
Hi Dr.Grande I have a question have you ever witnessed countless people say the same thing too you such as words like be good now ? If you have what does that mean ? Is that a good or bad thing or maybe a manipulation tactic or insult ?
Honestly I disagree with a lot of your scientific conclusions... ‘resilience has no practical application’ has ‘limited utility’ .....resilience is everything. Doesn’t come from counselors in my experience
Please please do a video on Hope and techniques used in cbt to build it in a future video. Also maybe include ways to build coping skills that would give hope. I felt like getting into the topic of hope at the end fell short on information you could have provided especially when it comes to hope and personality disorders.
Fantastic video Dr. Grande. I have learned a lot again. I also think RESILIENCE has to do in having a high frustrating tolerance? I HOPE you just keep and keep on making many of such awesome videos doc 😃🇳🇱
Several years ago I became certified to train others about what ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences) are, particularly how they relate to at-risk youth in the public education system. The term "resiliency" was naturally bandied about frequently. As a trauma survivor myself, I view resiliency as a reservoir, as finite. Trauma and negative life experiences can drain that reservoir, and unless you have a way to fill it back up (self-care, therapy, etc.), you can run out of resiliency and become unable to cope with daily life. You really gave me more insight into how the psychological community views the concept of resiliency. Thank you for a very interesting and thought-provoking video.
Dr. Grande, How would you define the difference between resilience and “grit?” Where are overlaps and where are misconceptions between the two. I feel like outside the clinical field, these terms can be thrown around carelessly (and interchangeably), and I would like to know how you distinguish between these two fundamentally different constructs. Thanks!
What would you diagnose someone who can't stop consciously thinking about their own thinking? 24/7. Unable to get distracted. Just constantly thinking about...thinking! 15 years I've had this after a traumatic event.
Thank you so much for connecting hope to resilience. I'd not made that connection and it seems to be extremely important to a person's ability to heal and move forward. If you haven't already, would you please talk about the root causes, repercussions and treatment of hopelessness? Thank you!
Very interesting as always. I‘m 43 years old, male, english is not my first language. I had traumatic childhood experiences (many). Until 33 years of age i was untreated, but i selfmedicated myself with cannabis abuse. Until then i could work allright but couldn‘t cope with private relationships struggled and avoided contacts to people. In the same year i moved away (i moved out from parents with 25) and completely broke contact with my family to try to change life, i got a lung cancer diagnosis in that same year. The fear of dying was smaller than the feeling of having had a wasted life feeling as a prisoner. After the removal of part of my lung i was in pain for years, i stopped substance abuse and started counsaling. I couldn’t deal with any workplace conflicts anymore. I couldn’t work anymore. Panikattacks made me even more of a loner. I couldn’t escape my lifelong depression and suicidal thoughts. I was in psychological clinics, where i once was diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder. During the last couple of years i found out i go more towards schizoid pd. It seems like the seemingly lack of perspective and hope for a return to the working world and beeing a part of society doesn‘t get better. All my life i knew there‘s something wrong and i wished to change it. I don‘t have that wish anymore, gave up. After watching this video i understood a little more. Since i have weak resiliance, i should try to work on hope (easy said). I have very strong defensive and flight mechanisms, because i guess, i‘m afraid of changes because feeling free doesn‘t feel familiar. I gave up working on resiliance, maybe not completely on hope. That‘s what i try to work on now. I go to a psych clinic on the 22. November again. I was confused of what i should work on because i thought i exhausted all possibilities. I just did in working on resiliance. I will concentrate on hope now and i will comunicate that there. Thanks for this insightful and understandable informations Dr. Grande
Please, could you talk more about recovering from sexual abuse? On your channel I can find a lot talking about sexuality and the dark triad, but I don’t see a lot talking about redeveloping yourself sexually, or stuff like... how to know whether you can trust your own judgement about a relationship after having gone through that sort of abuse.
Thank you again dr. G , l have noticed over the yrs after surviving all aspects of abuse, that maturity and developing endurance and resistance to minor irritations, now helps me to discern the difference between and lump in my porridge ( the irritant) and a lump in the breast ( serious concern) , when I was hyper sensitive everything was an irritant, and my reaction was like a nuke meltdown, so keeping my mind on the logic has truly transformed my thinking and feelings, I am still recovering but I will not compromise the peace of mind for minor irritations 💕
What you said about hope reminded me of something I was reading when very young. I can't remember the name, what it was about or the author, but the first few words were unforgettable; "Man needs hope. Without it, he cannot survive". That really hit me because rarely are you hit with such truths coming out the gate when you read something. It then went on to give example of a man stranded on an island all by himself. The man with hope will survive much longer than the man without it. This probably gets into philosophy and religion, but it's a truth that's obviously psychologically important.
Thanks for this excellent analysis of resilience. It makes sense to focus more upon hope than 'resilience' alone since hope - which I prefer to see as optimism - can always be built up and encouraged. As someone who had C-PTSD many years ago now, whilst I have quite high levels of resilience and prior traumatic events have literally made me stronger or more resilient, I definitely think having a primarily optimistic or hopeful outlook regarding one's healing after trauma(s) - or adversity - is critical and perhaps more important than focusing on resilience alone. This particularly makes sense with resilience being a trait, as the research indicates. I found myself very grateful that I had a strong tendency to be optimistic - or "hopeful" - when it came to post-traumatic work, including that with a therapist. Some individuals are likely born with a certain level of innate resilience in the face or context of trauma or adversity but hope or optimism is more variable and can be improved upon even by those who don't appear to have high levels of resilience. Once again, you provided yet another excellent and thorough examination of a very pertinent mental health topic. I always appreciate the fact you stay grounded in research findings as much as possible, so thank you for that.
I love Dr Grande so much I've started speaking like him....'construct' and 'interesting dialogue' are words I now use regularly. 😍 Informative explanation as always.
Great video and very informative, thank you! How about seeing "resilience" (as a trait?) as the capacity to learn and thus being able to deal with/adapt to adverse conditions, or, in the aftermath, integrate the experience and learn from it, or (as kind of a peak) getting in contact with a dissociated experience and re-integrating it, based on the plasticity of the brain and one's capabilities of understanding one's own patterns and changing them (intellectual, behavioral as well as emotional patterns)? Assuming a fully functioning brain, no pathologies and assuming some kind of counseling, given time and support. I do totally agree with hope being the key indicator for success, though, because without hope, there cannot even be a start to cope/learn. Ah, oh well, after writing that, I think I get your point :-) Anyway, great content and a great question.
This topic is fascinating! I thought that I was resilient (severe brain trauma from a car collision, divorce, miscarriage) and now I’m unsure if my recovery from those traumas is because of this so-called trait, or is it because I have a lot of support from family and community? Or is it because I’m a fairly hopeful person? Will my resiliency run out? 🤯🤨🧐🙃 I love that there are always more questions than answers. Thank you for this video.
This is such a beautiful post :) Probably all of those, interdependently. And if we see resilience as a reservoir, as someone already mentioned in the comments, the good news is that it's (re)fillable. Keep the hope - and the questions - going.
Thank you very much for choosing this topic. I' m quite frustrated about a lot of issues iml and this is not so sad and burdenful as some others are for me. I agree with what you say in this video.
Hi Todd. Have anyone tried to study resilience in ultra marathons? Ultra marathons are multiple hour (sometimes even multiple day) events where very well prepared and determined people stand on the starting line and after a lot of adversity about half of them make it to the finish line. To me, it seems like an excellent situation to study resilience.
Interesting discussion on the topic of resilience. Did not know there was such controversy over the definition of the word. But why can it not mean all three things in a spectrum as a process, an out come, or a trait? There are my thoughts and some examples that may or may not be relevant to the topic. Some people have more natural physical abilities (athletes), musical abilities (musician), artistic abilities, etc.. than the "average" person. Some are more mentally stronger or have a stronger will to accomplish a task. Some have strong convictions about various subjects and maybe not as strong of convictions on others issues. Resilience as a process; • people can be trained to have more resilience or to be more focused with the task at hand. Athletes, first responders and even military elites forces. Training with experience can produce an out come that might seem to be a defined trait. Resilience as an out come: • the achieved goal or task (no mater how seemingly large or small at first) that will push our limits mentally and physically to the point where it becomes almost routine. Not that we do not have anxiety, but know that because of a process, and building on the past successeful practice, there is very high degree of confidence in accomplishing a task or achieving a desired out come. Resilience as a trait; • practiced tasks (even if small steps) that build confidence with accomplishments (out comes) that push your limits mentally and physically. Might seem to be invincible, but are highly accomplished and confident with the ability to control adverse situations in a sober manner, with acceptable outcomes. But no matter how much resilience is demonstrated, everyone has to have down time to mentally decompress and recoup from the stress but which resilience is measured. The turn around time might be a variable...but each one of us is unique person with unique abilities, playing vital rolls in society. Thank you for this thought provoking subject.
I just always told myself that I had to realize no one was going to help me but me. Even though that is sad, it always gave me strength to keep going because I then knew that everything was up to me, and even if other people let me down I would never let myself down. So, I kept going every time. Now, I am resilient because I have gotten through so much and I know I can always count on myself.
When talking about instilling hope, it's fascinating that it can create a "higher-order" construct such as resilience or something similar. Positive psychology would gesture toward this idea of creating an environment (internal or external) that creates paths to such higher order processes. I need to work on this myself. I'm so fucking tired of feeling like shit most of the time, but I notice there are subtle things that can take me to a happier mood here-and-there. tl;dr Those things which we "can control" at a grassroots level and can lead us toward more positive outlooks at a "higher level"...nice. But what are they and how/why do they work? Peace.
Good video. Followed along with interest and clarity from start to finish. How a physician characterizes hope for a patient makes a huge difference in uncertain health situations-not giving false hope, but finding an optimistic view point and emphasizing it.
Resilience means deciding life is still worth living regardless of what happens to us because we each will always have something to learn. None of us have answers and for that reason we want to live to see what's around the corner. We thrive over adversity because its thrilling to be a conqueror.
Absolutely..... growth can happen in a multitude of character facets! To deny that would be narrow minded and just plain stupid! Most humans are capable of fluctuating and limitless change.
My resilience story is about how I initially had a crippling fear of insider looks at scientifically informed mental health topics but grew to be no longer afraid after repeatedly watching them and experiencing surprisingly little harm. The other option for resilience was, of course, to just not add them to my watch list. My point is that the proposition about the limited utility of resilience because it is only measurable but not able to be changed is paradoxical, because even simply recognising low resilience relative to a given stimulus would mean this gives the potential to lower the chances of exposure to that stimulus - granted that this might be impractical for other reasons but the in-principle point still stands. If measuring it must generally mean a potential for some kind of change in distributions over outcomes, then this concept of resilience as measurable but unchangeable is then self-refuting, unless we narrow definitions somehow, say to only include certain kinds of change, maybe limiting it to internal reaction and disallowing proactive management of exposure.
For me resilience is the power to remain stable thru hard situations even in front of inminent death, for me is a core part of stoicisim but I don't know where it come from but I believe is a trait. I had a normal / regular childhood (poor though and my parents divorced) and my brother (rip), sister and myself always felt resilient even when facing the illness of my brother, his death and the death of many relatives due to cancer, my mother planted resilience into us, I don't know how and people have recognized we are very emotionally stable and resilient... I actually consider my inmediate family as very happy and stable nihilist stoics. The 4 of us went thru many things, my brother demonstrated a very resilient calm and peace thru his 5 years of cancer, even presented the trait right before his death, now we are just thee but we are thriving and became stronger
Dr. Grande, would you please consider doing a video about empaths / highly sensitive people ? Your explanations of what these terms mean and opinions about both ? Seems like most videos about narcissism focus on coping mechanisms for both and sometimes the focus is as if one has to be either to even be a victim of narcissism. Your thoughts ?
I used to hate flying... any time i had anxiety on a plane I used to think then of the plane crashing down... if it didn't in that moment crash I used to lose my anxiety... I used to call this final fantasy effect
I believe that exposure to adverse events leads to no fear. Others would shy away and say that's too risky in high school. But if they needed some help. There many times I could of died when I was young and as a adult others would say did you not realize you could of died so easily? It's like your brain clicks into just do it mode. There is no fear in that thinking. I was better at helping others than myself, all my life. I think mine seems to be a trait that is positive except for isolation (later). I was psychologist's client, it's like I was a directive therapists dream.(They do nothing) The the trauma may never get spoken of at all. Maybe my past psychologist honestly thought the trauma issue was fixed when I had no contact with family for a lengthy period! Sounds bizarre, to me! Dr. Grande there are not many informed psychologist like you. Some can not educate other psychologists like you can. Thank you Dr. Grande so much for educating everyone and these discussions are awesome.
The question of resilience, or something like it, comes up with military service. You have to be up to the challenge of basic training and the drill sergeants do try to break you down (at least when I went in the Army). Basic and advanced training in the Rangers or the Marines the cadre harass you, run you, work you to death, yell in your face, throw fits and deprive you of sleep - all in order to somehow make you have more resilience in combat.
God, your talking about a novel set of concepts, and im immediately attempting to apply them conceptually into my life as if it were an Role Playing Game : character stats: +10 psychological resilience against trauma: for each trauma exposed gives +5 to post traumatic growth and +5 to trauma resistance.... Loooool
In my experience, resilience is a skill you develop over time. Its having a strong hull when sailing through the murk of tragedy and trauma.. not necessarily short term but long term.
I voluntarily checked myself into my first in patient facility a few weeks ago [ It took a lot to do it but I’m doing well ] and this was a topic for one of our sessions ☺️🖤
To add to this conversation, throughout my life I've witness people "stage" resilience meaning that they feed themselves a narrative that theyve moved on and that they just need to focus on the present. This is actually a trauma response and it causes people to repress their emotions and memories of highly stressful experiences. From a third person (and often first person) perspective, this may be confused with resilience when really, it's numbness. It seems to create far more problems down the line for people who repress their traumas.
Life is full of adversity...if one can problem-solve and cope with everyday stuff, is that resilience...like ego flexibility? Is the term resilience only applicable to more severe traumatic experiences? Is it transient with mood? What traits correlate with resilience, and are these traits necessarily healthy? So many questions. GREAT talk!
I'm dealing with some lack of recovery from a traumatic experience & am historically quite resilient but I in no way feel a loss of hope. Wondering if you could do a video on specific strategies for recovering from high stress traumatic experience
Late by 3 years; but I'm 100% Finnish we have Sisu and believe me, resilience is a fraction of Sisu. Unstoppable is more accurate 😊 great video & everyone is different - I can't climb a ladder, scared if heights but if it was the only get away, I'm on that ladder but I'm terrified. Not giving up does have limits, yes, but strong positive attitude muscles?
You might assume I'm more resilient due to the trauma I went through, but a lack of initial reaction to tragedy/loss is actually a coping mechanism I developed growing up. And the tragic event WILL be heartbreaking later. It's just that I'm numb to it for a time
Dr., I’ve been watching and Listening to your videos from time to time. My initial response was, “ he is so serious!!! I wonder if he is happy and if he has a sense of contentment with his chosen profession ?”. Well, as it happens, I think, I saw a slight up-lift in that face of yours and an excitement on the topic you presented....not this one though :-). As I have continued to watch your videos, I have noticed that you actually have a kind spirit that resides in you. :-)
I have a few genetic mutations that contribute to me being happier than most (it's chemical), and one of them is really rare and women who have this are friendlier, happier, and more empathetic than most. And I do have the confidence that I can survive anything even if that's irrational. I have CPTSD, I lived with a limiting disability most of my life, and I'm currently disabled and mostly housebound (no doubt the trauma contributed)--for 15 years--, but I think I am more joyful than most (and thought that before disability--seems my feeling upbeat much of the time was annoying for some). My body hasn't recovered much but my spirit does. Regardless of my childhood trauma, I went into life with my arms wide open saying Yes to life. I once had a car accident where my car was airborne, hit a tree and rolled over, and I was only disturbed initially when the car's movement mimicked the exact declining curve I'd be on during the accident. That left soon enough. I can be triggered severely because of the CPTSD, and I can become sad and/or depressed (but unlikely "clinically" depressed) because life really sucks sometimes. I absolutely can't watch scary movies. I know not to abuse my parasympathetic system like that. That's not to say I haven't taken on scary challenges that I thought I'd enjoy (I see no point in scary movies): rock climbing, public speaking, etc. Becoming disabled was challenging; aside from the obvious (loss of income, loss of work identity), people in your life flee and your reputation can be destroyed if they don't understand your illness. It woke me up to an aspect of human nature I didn't understand and really wish I hadn't found out about. But there it is. Have to play the hand. So for me there's a lot of nature contributing to what appears to be resiliency (emotional and spiritual at least), but also, as I left home, I wasn't in good shape because of the abuse. And I went on a mission to learn coping techniques to help me to convert the internal critic that was installed into my programming with a loving voice (RET mostly), and I've spent years routing out programming that doesn't serve me and gets in my way of ensuring my safety, which also included seeing trauma therapists who employed other techniques. (I know there's a lot of criticism regarding CBT--it doesn't cure health conditions--, but I think it can help some emotionally if the person consistently applies it because I think there might be some neural rewiring going on.) I think having a growth orientation has helped me maximise what nature gave me. Has this been an easy road? No. But I never ask why me. I always ask, "Why not me." (Even as a kid before RET.) All manner of horrible things happen to good people. There's enough joy associated with the opportunity to be alive. There is a limit. Two severe CPTSD triggers knocked me for a loop. I'm still recovering from the last, but I have hope because I've watched myself have patience, stay committed, do the work, and ultimately prevail. (Not at all things in life, but in being my best friend--I'm committed to this friendship.) I appear to have the hope agency you spoke of and hope pathways even though I have little energy to do anything to improve my situation. I've had to readjust how I look at my efforts and becoming even more accepting of my limitations.
Hey Dr. Grande! I've been watching your videos for quite some time now, today I am re-discovering new ideas and approaches within our consciousness and found this video in particular inspiring to respond to. I am happy to express my thoughts on this one now: (Keep in mind this is all my personal opinion) Resilience exists and is not a myth because we invented the expression for it therefore we created the experience. That is exactly the point why resilience is a matter of self-awareness which is what we should be teaching! Awareness of one-self's choices, personally and collectively. (pardon me, if I made spelling mistakes) That is why 'hope' present-presently might have better 'results' than 'resilience' because 'hope' pushes the responsibility away and to outside forces also of course resilience cannot be measured very well and utilized because again a matter of self-awareness which is present or not present both ways...it is about believing in the strenghts of oneself which is where the misery starts in the first place.... If someone starts to fully comprehend oneself and their choices...then this is where resilience emergenges from...hope is vage and describes something we cannot control...but more so we should teach how one can take control of his own life...
I generally greatly value your perspectives and insights, Dr. Grande, but I think you went off the rails with this vid. Resilience is very real as is the absence of same. I am currently working with a therapist who, through Gestalt Therapy Techniques has enabled me to reframe a past sustained traumatic experience into an empowering manifestation of my lifelong resilience. Those lacking resilience often spend a good portion of the rest of their lives post-trauma marinating in their victimhood. But my therapist has taught me that while the self and the resilience can become separated - they must be rejoined in order to restore my whole person. By realizing I have the power within me to control how this tragic trajectory ends, it has enabled me to awaken the warrior within me and hold the evildoers accountable. My favorite affirmation is: What doesn't kill me better run. Would it be easier to drop out of my own life and just have people feel sorry for me that this horrifying tragedy happened? Absolutely. But that is not who I am. I take names and kick some ass in the name of justice. My motives are pure, my objectives clearly defined and all is well within my soul knowing I must do the thing I thought I could not do. My one guiding omnipresent thought though is to be ever cognizant of the fact that she who hunts monsters must make damn sure she doesn't become one. That is hard when facing pure evil but I will prevail because my father raised a badass who doesn't take crap from ANYONE. So if you really believe resilience isn't a viable thing all I can say is: Hold my latte and watch this, Dr. Grande.
It seems as though too much resilience could cause someone to believe they are invincible, which could be harmful. However, hopefulness can do no harm, although it may wane at times. I think it is more important than resilience in the healing process or coping with adversity.
Pull your socks up and crack on (across the pond) is still applied today building character and resilience and an gaining an inner strength which must be a good thing for coping with life's knocks and rolling with the punches another one ..common saying
I have been diagnosed with Complex-PTSD & over decades & decades of counselling, many of my therapists have told me they are amazed at my resilience. What I'm wondering is a) do counsellors tell their patients this to bolster confidence or b) do they really believe it? How can I really know the difference, since a lifetime of adverse experiences has caused me to second guess everything people tell me.
I feel this one more than any other video. I have childhood sexual trauma, I was 8 when a kidnapping and a terrorist event happened around me, I witnessed murders, my niece killed herself when she was 9, rapes, and now I had a horrible bacteria that nearly killed me with chronic pain forever. Plus normal things like divorce etc. People treat me like a super hero, but I am so broken. I guess I must have resilience though. My art has always gotten me through. Not sure how to say how much I think this needs to be explored. I think it ties in with the fact that I am so empathetic and sensetive. IDK Hope. I think you're onto something. Lol
Some people have unloving unforgiving uncaring family members thus the importance of social workers, psychologists and friends to help us to be more resilient. Also it depends on what type of injury but having emotional and social support makes all the difference.
Wrong! I'm bpd, grew up with a childish mother and have no tolerance for the bullshit. I have no tolerance to deal with people who play games or is inexperienced who craves attention. People would call me coldhearted just because I expect the real in them....most people cant handle the fact that you won't put up with their bullshit. They think you're coldhearted or a sociopath...all I ask is that you be real with me
Resilience to me equals survival. I learned as a child to choose what was best for me by watching and listening. I avoided the negatives and chose the positives. I was very fortunate to have positives. As an adult, I determined that nobody gets everything, but everybody gets something. The trick is to focus on what you have been given and then appreciate and nurture these things. Once in the habit of this, it becomes a coping skill. At least it has for me. I instilled this in my children as well, and they are very resilient people. Largely my examples for this were my grandparents and my father. They were very resilient people. ❤️
I learned about that in order to have hope it can be necessary to have a pathway towards the goal, and part of a strong pathway is mentally and or physically rehearsing what one would do should one encounter obstacles - treating then the obstacles as challenges to overcome-, and should you have a strong pathway(s) then you'll not lose hope; and should you have hope you'll continue moving forward even if you have setbacks. So even though there is confusion on the concept of resilience I've found that the above has been very helpful in dealing with setbacks in general - or rather with regards to moving toward meaningful goals. I learned it from the book "How to perform under pressure".
Resilience should not be confused with the ability to cope nor strength. As a term it has no place in psychological terms applied to people; as it mans to spring or bounce back to a previous form. All that happens to humans leaves or causes some amount of change unique to that person. It is a term used to describe objects. People are not objects. I don't like it when psychological terms are misunderstood when used and here it's really obvious that non psychological terms cannot be used and applied. I would like to know who first started using and coining this term.other disciplines have worked their way into the field of psychology and are now working as mental health providers and they're not equipped to deal with both very serious and subtle issues occuring simultaneously. It's bad enough that many psychologist miss these things too.
I am intensely curious to know how resilience & hope may factor in dissociative identity disorder, or even just to listen to you speak on DID at all (maybe theres a video I haven't found yet?) Is a person with DID more or less resilient? Do they respond to hope? so on..
"Scientifically Informed" ... yet, with a highly Philosophical approach. Your treatment of these highly complex and complicated topics is tops! Very stark contrast to Jordan Peterson, who strikes me as a bit too rigidly dogmatic. .. almost like one of those Televangelist types who knows everyone better than they know themselves. A bit presumptuous for my taste. Your presentation is far more objective, opening multiple views of multiple aspects, and bending over backwards to ensure that your viewers are aware of just how complex and complicated these issues are, and not trying to convince us that you know it all. Such humility signals credibility in my mind.
Needless to say, your approach gets top billing with me. A true intellectual.
Thank You, Doctor.
Just a thought of me Dr. Grande.
"Resilience is that indefinable quality that allows you to be knocked down and then come back stronger than ever".
Thanks again for this video 😃🇳🇱
I keep getting told I am resilient. Never saw it in myself or really knew what it meant. Thank you for explaining doctor!
I agree with you, doctor. If a family loses a child, or heaven forbid, even more; how can we dare expect them to bounce back and just pull up their bootstraps? Sometimes resilience, or lack thereof, is a just a normal response and not a weakness at all, imo. I loved this video - really important subject. Thank you, Dr Grande! 👍🌹
thank you for your clarity, accuracy, and wisdom. My experience is that I could cope until I couldn't, and then I couldn't. I am learning to be better at coping; better at managing myself, and dealing with trauma and manage regulation/disregulation; and also to avoid the people who traumatise me. This video is interesting. I am not going to worry too much about whether I am resilient or not, I am going to try to face life with hope and humility.
Techniques surrounding hope. I wouldn't have imagined this existed. Much to learn. Thankyou!
My high resilience kept me from seeking professional help when I really should have. Always had this "it's fine" mentality. And now that I've seen a therapist for few months, she keeps asking me how on earth are you still alive and well? That kind of creeps me out. I didn't know my life was so horrible.
I really like Michael Ungar's definition of resilience: "Human resilience is defined here as the capacity of a biopsychosocial system (this can include an individual, a family, or a community) to navigate to the resources necessary to sustain positive functioning under stress, as well as the capacity of systems to negotiate for resources to be provided in ways that are experienced as meaningful." (Ungar, 2019)
Right. A person may have had experiences that they coped with well and based on that have a belief that they are resilient and that person may then have an experience that they never anticipated of course but they never anticipated more importantly their reaction to it. I think in practice it's more useful to talk about resilience as a way to regain a sense of control by learning a certain set of skills that make you feel more in control of your life. I definitely would never want to give a client the impression that because they experience some event that was traumatic for them that means that they weren't resilient therefore they were deficient in some area. I also think you are correct that to instill hope is a great way to motivate people to improve their lives. You can't go wrong with hope. And as long as you are living and breathing there is hope. 🙂
Awesome video as always :) Could you maybe also do a video about hope (maybe in the context of recovery)? That sounds so interesting!
Thankyou for another interesting video Dr Grande. I couldn’t agree more with your thought that there is a “limit to resilience”. It’s like the adage of “the straw that broke the camel’s back” ..you may be able to cope with one or two adverse events at a time but there comes a point where the third or fourth thing breaks you.
I’ve bounced back from previous job loss / relationship breakdown / horrible cases at work (ambulance & ED) etc individually but put them all together with mTBI, misdiagnosis, loss of career, financial insecurity, loss of home and now I have trouble coping with any of it.
This is an excellent video. I appreciate you breaking it down for us.
Life can suck, but everything is relative. I always tell myself when things get bad, that things could really be a hellava lot worse.
I did my PhD dissertation challenging the defn of hope. One of my classmates was going after resilience in convicts, but really discovered a way to initiate accountability for their crime . Interesting concept resilience.
Please, tell me more.
@@NegledushevaKci his name is Fred sly
@@joywebster2678 Thanx, I'll definitely look into it, sounds very interesting. But I was actually wondering more about your thesis since hope is one of the concepts I'm especially interested in. You don't have to reveal any names of course, I'm just generally interested in some of the ideas behind your work.
@@NegledushevaKci all the lit describes hope as having a goal and the map or way to achieve it. My research showed that hope that has meaning for people is found in something the individual identifies with in nature. Some examples were..sunrise, annual growth of sunflower fields, annual salmon run....none of the participants knew each other, and when asked through a variety of ways, these were things that gave them hope and that they could refer to when sad, depressed or anxious. None of the subjects mentioned goals or plans.
@@joywebster2678 Ah, so the rebirth cycle. Amazing...
This was really interesting sir !
I have always thanked God for making me into a grunt. Why ? Because grunts can "take it" and keep taking it.
However:
When I learned of my wife's oopsie, there was nothing sustaining me, and it broke me something serious.
Hope put me back together, and that hope in us sustained the both.
I never knew what it would be like not having resilience until that time.
Yo, thank you for another video sir, and have a wonderful evening :)
It means you can take a licking and keep on ticking👍
Excellent!!
I think it means you refuse to give up on life, you're a fighter, refuse to die or too stubborn to give up, though you probably should have multiple times in life. Many abuse survivors are very adept at dodging the harsh bullets of life, despite life still being difficult.
David Thomspson how old are you? Lol
@@lousunny5682 I'm 49
@@lousunny5682 energizer bunny
This is how I was in regard to my headaches! Kept going till something popped that looks like snow in the back of my head under MRI. So. There is only so much fuel in the notion of "working hard". Now I'm a huge wuss about any kind of head pain!
Very insightful topic Dr Todd Grande thank you 🙂👍
Dr. Grande I should like you to do a review of Scott Pecks book “people of the lie’ - that is to dr. Grande...please. It fits into narcissism I believe...
Is there a quantifiable relationship between resilience and stoicism?
Erik wade, yes its chocolate. Chocolate is the answer.🙃👍
Erik Wade, I think perhaps stoicism masks emotions in spite of the situation, but it doesn't necessarily mean the person has a strong resilience because they might fall apart in private and hide their weak resilience. This has been my experience.
Stoicism is, in my opinion, the Master Key to any effective Resilience. Excellent Point!!!
Very interesting input! I feel that the locus of control might be the key here. Perhaps working towards an inward shift (if this is even possible?) can strengthen resilience - and ultimately hope as well.
Resilience I think is affected by knowledge, scientific fact-based knowledge. Tragedy can befall you that makes you wiser. Therein lies the hope; that we can always learn something from adversity.
Very interesting. Is "supercompensation" a term that is used/conidered useful with mental health professionals?
Dr. Grande: Can you do a show on the relationship between "The Bird" and "Louis Zamberini" on the movie called "Unbroken"? It's a relationship that is hard to understand. What type of personality does "The Bird" have? Thanks for considering this.
Leslie Lang Dr. Grande I should like you to do a review of Scott Pecks book “people of the lie’ - that is to dr. Grande...please. It fits into narcissism I believe...
Can you explore and explain how the army works with resilience? Doesn't the U.S army systematically breaks down their recruits just to build them up again? There must be a lot of research within the army that supports this practice, but perhaps not for the good of the individual.
Post-traumatic growth is a real key area of interest. We need to be clear what are the subjective and objective outcomes, but also understand that repeated trauma can really lead to a rapid decline in resilience following growth. Please check out our video on this for more awareness...enjoyed your video.
Do you have any thoughts about Jonathan Haidt and his concept of 'Anti-Fragility?"
Thanks Doc!
Thanks 🙂
What about people who are flat-out psychopaths?
i don't feel very resilient today and that's o.k. too 'cause there will be a tomorrow.
Just don't hope to remain resilient!
Hi Dr.Grande I have a question have you ever witnessed countless people say the same thing too you such as words like be good now ? If you have what does that mean ? Is that a good or bad thing or maybe a manipulation tactic or insult ?
Honestly I disagree with a lot of your scientific conclusions... ‘resilience has no practical application’ has ‘limited utility’ .....resilience is everything. Doesn’t come from counselors in my experience
Please please do a video on Hope and techniques used in cbt to build it in a future video. Also maybe include ways to build coping skills that would give hope. I felt like getting into the topic of hope at the end fell short on information you could have provided especially when it comes to hope and personality disorders.
Fantastic video Dr. Grande. I have learned a lot again. I also think RESILIENCE has to do in having a high frustrating tolerance?
I HOPE you just keep and keep on making many of such awesome videos doc 😃🇳🇱
Several years ago I became certified to train others about what ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences) are, particularly how they relate to at-risk youth in the public education system. The term "resiliency" was naturally bandied about frequently.
As a trauma survivor myself, I view resiliency as a reservoir, as finite. Trauma and negative life experiences can drain that reservoir, and unless you have a way to fill it back up (self-care, therapy, etc.), you can run out of resiliency and become unable to cope with daily life.
You really gave me more insight into how the psychological community views the concept of resiliency. Thank you for a very interesting and thought-provoking video.
A reservoir - well said.
Dr. Grande,
How would you define the difference between resilience and “grit?” Where are overlaps and where are misconceptions between the two.
I feel like outside the clinical field, these terms can be thrown around carelessly (and interchangeably), and I would like to know how you distinguish between these two fundamentally different constructs.
Thanks!
The two together give you fortitude.
Resilience and grit in equal measure results in an individual with fortitude.
I appreciate your mentioning the importance of hope!! That rings true with my experiences.
What would you diagnose someone who can't stop consciously thinking about their own thinking? 24/7. Unable to get distracted. Just constantly thinking about...thinking! 15 years I've had this after a traumatic event.
I hope Dr. Todd Grande continues to make videos.
SERGE me too...⭐️⭐️ looking at you gives me resilience courage...
Thank you so much for connecting hope to resilience.
I'd not made that connection and it seems to be extremely important to a person's ability to heal and move forward.
If you haven't already, would you please talk about the root causes, repercussions and treatment of hopelessness?
Thank you!
Environmental factors really seem to factor in, and being an escape artist can be rather handy! Thnx.
Very interesting as always. I‘m 43 years old, male, english is not my first language. I had traumatic childhood experiences (many). Until 33 years of age i was untreated, but i selfmedicated myself with cannabis abuse. Until then i could work allright but couldn‘t cope with private relationships struggled and avoided contacts to people. In the same year i moved away (i moved out from parents with 25) and completely broke contact with my family to try to change life, i got a lung cancer diagnosis in that same year. The fear of dying was smaller than the feeling of having had a wasted life feeling as a prisoner. After the removal of part of my lung i was in pain for years, i stopped substance abuse and started counsaling. I couldn’t deal with any workplace conflicts anymore. I couldn’t work anymore. Panikattacks made me even more of a loner. I couldn’t escape my lifelong depression and suicidal thoughts. I was in psychological clinics, where i once was diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder. During the last couple of years i found out i go more towards schizoid pd. It seems like the seemingly lack of perspective and hope for a return to the working world and beeing a part of society doesn‘t get better. All my life i knew there‘s something wrong and i wished to change it. I don‘t have that wish anymore, gave up. After watching this video i understood a little more. Since i have weak resiliance, i should try to work on hope (easy said).
I have very strong defensive and flight mechanisms, because i guess, i‘m afraid of changes because feeling free doesn‘t feel familiar. I gave up working on resiliance, maybe not completely on hope. That‘s what i try to work on now. I go to a psych clinic on the 22. November again. I was confused of what i should work on because i thought i exhausted all possibilities. I just did in working on resiliance. I will concentrate on hope now and i will comunicate that there. Thanks for this insightful and understandable informations Dr. Grande
Please, could you talk more about recovering from sexual abuse? On your channel I can find a lot talking about sexuality and the dark triad, but I don’t see a lot talking about redeveloping yourself sexually, or stuff like... how to know whether you can trust your own judgement about a relationship after having gone through that sort of abuse.
YT doesn't appreciate this kind of stuff. Dr. Grande will deal with topics like this at his patreon channel.
Thank you again dr. G , l have noticed over the yrs after surviving all aspects of abuse, that maturity and developing endurance and resistance to minor irritations, now helps me to discern the difference between and lump in my porridge ( the irritant) and a lump in the breast ( serious concern) , when I was hyper sensitive everything was an irritant, and my reaction was like a nuke meltdown, so keeping my mind on the logic has truly transformed my thinking and feelings, I am still recovering but I will not compromise the peace of mind for minor irritations 💕
What you said about hope reminded me of something I was reading when very young. I can't remember the name, what it was about or the author, but the first few words were unforgettable; "Man needs hope. Without it, he cannot survive". That really hit me because rarely are you hit with such truths coming out the gate when you read something. It then went on to give example of a man stranded on an island all by himself. The man with hope will survive much longer than the man without it.
This probably gets into philosophy and religion, but it's a truth that's obviously psychologically important.
Thanks for this excellent analysis of resilience. It makes sense to focus more upon hope than 'resilience' alone since hope - which I prefer to see as optimism - can always be built up and encouraged.
As someone who had C-PTSD many years ago now, whilst I have quite high levels of resilience and prior traumatic events have literally made me stronger or more resilient, I definitely think having a primarily optimistic or hopeful outlook regarding one's healing after trauma(s) - or adversity - is critical and perhaps more important than focusing on resilience alone. This particularly makes sense with resilience being a trait, as the research indicates. I found myself very grateful that I had a strong tendency to be optimistic - or "hopeful" - when it came to post-traumatic work, including that with a therapist.
Some individuals are likely born with a certain level of innate resilience in the face or context of trauma or adversity but hope or optimism is more variable and can be improved upon even by those who don't appear to have high levels of resilience. Once again, you provided yet another excellent and thorough examination of a very pertinent mental health topic. I always appreciate the fact you stay grounded in research findings as much as possible, so thank you for that.
I love Dr Grande so much I've started speaking like him....'construct' and 'interesting dialogue' are words I now use regularly. 😍 Informative explanation as always.
Great video and very informative, thank you! How about seeing "resilience" (as a trait?) as the capacity to learn and thus being able to deal with/adapt to adverse conditions, or, in the aftermath, integrate the experience and learn from it, or (as kind of a peak) getting in contact with a dissociated experience and re-integrating it, based on the plasticity of the brain and one's capabilities of understanding one's own patterns and changing them (intellectual, behavioral as well as emotional patterns)? Assuming a fully functioning brain, no pathologies and assuming some kind of counseling, given time and support.
I do totally agree with hope being the key indicator for success, though, because without hope, there cannot even be a start to cope/learn.
Ah, oh well, after writing that, I think I get your point :-)
Anyway, great content and a great question.
Afterthought: are we actually able to change/alter/reduce the signals of the amygdala? Or the signals that prompt the amygdala to fire?
This topic is fascinating!
I thought that I was resilient (severe brain trauma from a car collision, divorce, miscarriage) and now I’m unsure if my recovery from those traumas is because of this so-called trait, or is it because I have a lot of support from family and community? Or is it because I’m a fairly hopeful person? Will my resiliency run out?
🤯🤨🧐🙃
I love that there are always more questions than answers.
Thank you for this video.
This is such a beautiful post :)
Probably all of those, interdependently. And if we see resilience as a reservoir, as someone already mentioned in the comments, the good news is that it's (re)fillable.
Keep the hope - and the questions - going.
Please do a video about HOPE. Thanks!
Thank you very much for choosing this topic. I' m quite frustrated about a lot of issues iml and this is not so sad and burdenful as some others are for me. I agree with what you say in this video.
Hi Todd. Have anyone tried to study resilience in ultra marathons? Ultra marathons are multiple hour (sometimes even multiple day) events where very well prepared and determined people stand on the starting line and after a lot of adversity about half of them make it to the finish line. To me, it seems like an excellent situation to study resilience.
Interesting discussion on the topic of resilience. Did not know there was such controversy over the definition of the word. But why can it not mean all three things in a spectrum as a process, an out come, or a trait?
There are my thoughts and some examples that may or may not be relevant to the topic.
Some people have more natural physical abilities (athletes), musical abilities (musician), artistic abilities, etc.. than the "average" person. Some are more mentally stronger or have a stronger will to accomplish a task. Some have strong convictions about various subjects and maybe not as strong of convictions on others issues.
Resilience as a process;
• people can be trained to have more resilience or to be more focused with the task at hand. Athletes, first responders and even military elites forces. Training with experience can produce an out come that might seem to be a defined trait.
Resilience as an out come:
• the achieved goal or task (no mater how seemingly large or small at first) that will push our limits mentally and physically to the point where it becomes almost routine. Not that we do not have anxiety, but know that because of a process, and building on the past successeful practice, there is very high degree of confidence in accomplishing a task or achieving a desired out come.
Resilience as a trait;
• practiced tasks (even if small steps) that build confidence with accomplishments (out comes) that push your limits mentally and physically. Might seem to be invincible, but are highly accomplished and confident with the ability to control adverse situations in a sober manner, with acceptable outcomes.
But no matter how much resilience is demonstrated, everyone has to have down time to mentally decompress and recoup from the stress but which resilience is measured. The turn around time might be a variable...but each one of us is unique person with unique abilities, playing vital rolls in society.
Thank you for this thought provoking subject.
I just always told myself that I had to realize no one was going to help me but me. Even though that is sad, it always gave me strength to keep going because I then knew that everything was up to me, and even if other people let me down I would never let myself down. So, I kept going every time. Now, I am resilient because I have gotten through so much and I know I can always count on myself.
When talking about instilling hope, it's fascinating that it can create a "higher-order" construct such as resilience or something similar. Positive psychology would gesture toward this idea of creating an environment (internal or external) that creates paths to such higher order processes. I need to work on this myself. I'm so fucking tired of feeling like shit most of the time, but I notice there are subtle things that can take me to a happier mood here-and-there.
tl;dr
Those things which we "can control" at a grassroots level and can lead us toward more positive outlooks at a "higher level"...nice. But what are they and how/why do they work?
Peace.
Good video. Followed along with interest and clarity from start to finish. How a physician characterizes hope for a patient makes a huge difference in uncertain health situations-not giving false hope, but finding an optimistic view point and emphasizing it.
I'm resilient! I've watched most of your posts and will continue to watch them!
Resilience means deciding life is still worth living regardless of what happens to us because we each will always have something to learn. None of us have answers and for that reason we want to live to see what's around the corner. We thrive over adversity because its thrilling to be a conqueror.
Absolutely..... growth can happen in a multitude of character facets! To deny that would be narrow minded and just plain stupid!
Most humans are capable of fluctuating and limitless change.
Do you have a video that explains "depth" in depth? You mentioned the concept-- speicifically "lack of depth" in one of the narcissism videos.
My resilience story is about how I initially had a crippling fear of insider looks at scientifically informed mental health topics but grew to be no longer afraid after repeatedly watching them and experiencing surprisingly little harm. The other option for resilience was, of course, to just not add them to my watch list.
My point is that the proposition about the limited utility of resilience because it is only measurable but not able to be changed is paradoxical, because even simply recognising low resilience relative to a given stimulus would mean this gives the potential to lower the chances of exposure to that stimulus - granted that this might be impractical for other reasons but the in-principle point still stands. If measuring it must generally mean a potential for some kind of change in distributions over outcomes, then this concept of resilience as measurable but unchangeable is then self-refuting, unless we narrow definitions somehow, say to only include certain kinds of change, maybe limiting it to internal reaction and disallowing proactive management of exposure.
For me resilience is the power to remain stable thru hard situations even in front of inminent death, for me is a core part of stoicisim but I don't know where it come from but I believe is a trait. I had a normal / regular childhood (poor though and my parents divorced) and my brother (rip), sister and myself always felt resilient even when facing the illness of my brother, his death and the death of many relatives due to cancer, my mother planted resilience into us, I don't know how and people have recognized we are very emotionally stable and resilient... I actually consider my inmediate family as very happy and stable nihilist stoics. The 4 of us went thru many things, my brother demonstrated a very resilient calm and peace thru his 5 years of cancer, even presented the trait right before his death, now we are just thee but we are thriving and became stronger
My personal experience - resilience can be build and improved over time with help of the internal locus. The post traumatic growth is real too.
Dr. Grande, would you please consider doing a video about empaths / highly sensitive people ? Your explanations of what these terms mean and opinions about both ? Seems like most videos about narcissism focus on coping mechanisms for both and sometimes the focus is as if one has to be either to even be a victim of narcissism. Your thoughts ?
I used to hate flying... any time i had anxiety on a plane I used to think then of the plane crashing down... if it didn't in that moment crash I used to lose my anxiety... I used to call this final fantasy effect
I believe that exposure to adverse events leads to no fear. Others would shy away and say that's too risky in high school. But if they needed some help. There many times I could of died when I was young and as a adult others would say did you not realize you could of died so easily? It's like your brain clicks into just do it mode. There is no fear in that thinking.
I was better at helping others than myself, all my life. I think mine seems to be a trait that is positive except for isolation (later). I was psychologist's client, it's like I was a directive therapists dream.(They do nothing) The the trauma may never get spoken of at all. Maybe my past psychologist honestly thought the trauma issue was fixed when I had no contact with family for a lengthy period! Sounds bizarre, to me!
Dr. Grande there are not many informed psychologist like you. Some can not educate other psychologists like you can. Thank you Dr. Grande so much for educating everyone and these discussions are awesome.
The question of resilience, or something like it, comes up with military service. You have to be up to the challenge of basic training and the drill sergeants do try to break you down (at least when I went in the Army). Basic and advanced training in the Rangers or the Marines the cadre harass you, run you, work you to death, yell in your face, throw fits and deprive you of sleep - all in order to somehow make you have more resilience in combat.
God, your talking about a novel set of concepts, and im immediately attempting to apply them conceptually into my life as if it were an Role Playing Game : character stats: +10 psychological resilience against trauma: for each trauma exposed gives +5 to post traumatic growth and +5 to trauma resistance.... Loooool
In my experience, resilience is a skill you develop over time. Its having a strong hull when sailing through the murk of tragedy and trauma.. not necessarily short term but long term.
I voluntarily checked myself into my first in patient facility a few weeks ago [ It took a lot to do it but I’m doing well ] and this was a topic for one of our sessions ☺️🖤
Get well soon. My best wishes.
I would really love a video on the concept of amygdala hijack, please. 😁
What a great channel! Best wishes
To add to this conversation, throughout my life I've witness people "stage" resilience meaning that they feed themselves a narrative that theyve moved on and that they just need to focus on the present. This is actually a trauma response and it causes people to repress their emotions and memories of highly stressful experiences. From a third person (and often first person) perspective, this may be confused with resilience when really, it's numbness. It seems to create far more problems down the line for people who repress their traumas.
Thanks Doc for this wonderful explanation 👍🏻👍🏻
11:50 Did you mean "If we tell somebody THAT THEY (not TO) have low resilience"?
Life is full of adversity...if one can problem-solve and cope with everyday stuff, is that resilience...like ego flexibility? Is the term resilience only applicable to more severe traumatic experiences? Is it transient with mood? What traits correlate with resilience, and are these traits necessarily healthy? So many questions. GREAT talk!
I'm dealing with some lack of recovery from a traumatic experience & am historically quite resilient but I in no way feel a loss of hope. Wondering if you could do a video on specific strategies for recovering from high stress traumatic experience
Late by 3 years; but I'm 100% Finnish we have Sisu and believe me, resilience is a fraction of Sisu. Unstoppable is more accurate 😊 great video & everyone is different - I can't climb a ladder, scared if heights but if it was the only get away, I'm on that ladder but I'm terrified. Not giving up does have limits, yes, but strong positive attitude muscles?
You might assume I'm more resilient due to the trauma I went through, but a lack of initial reaction to tragedy/loss is actually a coping mechanism I developed growing up.
And the tragic event WILL be heartbreaking later. It's just that I'm numb to it for a time
Hope! Wow!
Dr., I’ve been watching and Listening to your videos from time to time. My initial response was, “ he is so serious!!! I wonder if he is happy and if he has a sense of contentment with his chosen profession ?”. Well, as it happens, I think, I saw a slight up-lift in that face of yours and an excitement on the topic you presented....not this one though :-). As I have continued to watch your videos, I have noticed that you actually have a kind spirit that resides in you. :-)
Personally I think Viktor Frankel’s “Man’s Search for meaning “ was a marvelous piece of literature that deals with this.
I have a few genetic mutations that contribute to me being happier than most (it's chemical), and one of them is really rare and women who have this are friendlier, happier, and more empathetic than most. And I do have the confidence that I can survive anything even if that's irrational.
I have CPTSD, I lived with a limiting disability most of my life, and I'm currently disabled and mostly housebound (no doubt the trauma contributed)--for 15 years--, but I think I am more joyful than most (and thought that before disability--seems my feeling upbeat much of the time was annoying for some). My body hasn't recovered much but my spirit does.
Regardless of my childhood trauma, I went into life with my arms wide open saying Yes to life. I once had a car accident where my car was airborne, hit a tree and rolled over, and I was only disturbed initially when the car's movement mimicked the exact declining curve I'd be on during the accident. That left soon enough. I can be triggered severely because of the CPTSD, and I can become sad and/or depressed (but unlikely "clinically" depressed) because life really sucks sometimes. I absolutely can't watch scary movies. I know not to abuse my parasympathetic system like that. That's not to say I haven't taken on scary challenges that I thought I'd enjoy (I see no point in scary movies): rock climbing, public speaking, etc.
Becoming disabled was challenging; aside from the obvious (loss of income, loss of work identity), people in your life flee and your reputation can be destroyed if they don't understand your illness. It woke me up to an aspect of human nature I didn't understand and really wish I hadn't found out about. But there it is. Have to play the hand.
So for me there's a lot of nature contributing to what appears to be resiliency (emotional and spiritual at least), but also, as I left home, I wasn't in good shape because of the abuse. And I went on a mission to learn coping techniques to help me to convert the internal critic that was installed into my programming with a loving voice (RET mostly), and I've spent years routing out programming that doesn't serve me and gets in my way of ensuring my safety, which also included seeing trauma therapists who employed other techniques. (I know there's a lot of criticism regarding CBT--it doesn't cure health conditions--, but I think it can help some emotionally if the person consistently applies it because I think there might be some neural rewiring going on.)
I think having a growth orientation has helped me maximise what nature gave me. Has this been an easy road? No. But I never ask why me. I always ask, "Why not me." (Even as a kid before RET.) All manner of horrible things happen to good people. There's enough joy associated with the opportunity to be alive.
There is a limit. Two severe CPTSD triggers knocked me for a loop. I'm still recovering from the last, but I have hope because I've watched myself have patience, stay committed, do the work, and ultimately prevail. (Not at all things in life, but in being my best friend--I'm committed to this friendship.)
I appear to have the hope agency you spoke of and hope pathways even though I have little energy to do anything to improve my situation. I've had to readjust how I look at my efforts and becoming even more accepting of my limitations.
Hey Dr. Grande! I've been watching your videos for quite some time now, today I am re-discovering new ideas and approaches within our consciousness and found this video in particular inspiring to respond to. I am happy to express my thoughts on this one now: (Keep in mind this is all my personal opinion)
Resilience exists and is not a myth because we invented the expression for it therefore we created the experience. That is exactly the point why resilience is a matter of self-awareness which is what we should be teaching!
Awareness of one-self's choices, personally and collectively. (pardon me, if I made spelling mistakes)
That is why 'hope' present-presently might have better 'results' than 'resilience' because 'hope' pushes the responsibility away and to outside forces also of course resilience cannot be measured very well and utilized because again a matter of self-awareness which is present or not present both ways...it is about believing in the strenghts of oneself which is where the misery starts in the first place....
If someone starts to fully comprehend oneself and their choices...then this is where resilience emergenges from...hope is vage and describes something we cannot control...but more so we should teach how one can take control of his own life...
I generally greatly value your perspectives and insights, Dr. Grande, but I think you went off the rails with this vid. Resilience is very real as is the absence of same. I am currently working with a therapist who, through Gestalt Therapy Techniques has enabled me to reframe a past sustained traumatic experience into an empowering manifestation of my lifelong resilience. Those lacking resilience often spend a good portion of the rest of their lives post-trauma marinating in their victimhood. But my therapist has taught me that while the self and the resilience can become separated - they must be rejoined in order to restore my whole person. By realizing I have the power within me to control how this tragic trajectory ends, it has enabled me to awaken the warrior within me and hold the evildoers accountable. My favorite affirmation is: What doesn't kill me better run. Would it be easier to drop out of my own life and just have people feel sorry for me that this horrifying tragedy happened? Absolutely. But that is not who I am. I take names and kick some ass in the name of justice. My motives are pure, my objectives clearly defined and all is well within my soul knowing I must do the thing I thought I could not do. My one guiding omnipresent thought though is to be ever cognizant of the fact that she who hunts monsters must make damn sure she doesn't become one. That is hard when facing pure evil but I will prevail because my father raised a badass who doesn't take crap from ANYONE.
So if you really believe resilience isn't a viable thing all I can say is: Hold my latte and watch this, Dr. Grande.
It seems as though too much resilience could cause someone to believe they are invincible, which could be harmful.
However, hopefulness can do no harm, although it may wane at times. I think it is more important than resilience in the healing process or coping with adversity.
Pull your socks up and crack on (across the pond) is still applied today building character and resilience and an gaining an inner strength which must be a good thing for coping with life's knocks and rolling with the punches another one ..common saying
I've never heard that first one. Across the pond....? Are you in a northern climate? Is the pond frozen?
@@natashamudford4011 no I'm in Cotswolds (upper slaughter )
Please consider a video on emerging from trauma, trauma ensconced behavior, cbt, and the application and role of hope. Thanks.
I have been diagnosed with Complex-PTSD & over decades & decades of counselling, many of my therapists have told me they are amazed at my resilience. What I'm wondering is a) do counsellors tell their patients this to bolster confidence or b) do they really believe it? How can I really know the difference, since a lifetime of adverse experiences has caused me to second guess everything people tell me.
I feel this one more than any other video. I have childhood sexual trauma, I was 8 when a kidnapping and a terrorist event happened around me, I witnessed murders, my niece killed herself when she was 9, rapes, and now I had a horrible bacteria that nearly killed me with chronic pain forever. Plus normal things like divorce etc. People treat me like a super hero, but I am so broken. I guess I must have resilience though. My art has always gotten me through. Not sure how to say how much I think this needs to be explored. I think it ties in with the fact that I am so empathetic and sensetive. IDK Hope. I think you're onto something. Lol
Some people have unloving unforgiving uncaring family members thus the importance of social workers, psychologists and friends to help us to be more resilient. Also it depends on what type of injury but having emotional and social support makes all the difference.
Your videos are so spot on. Thank you for all your hard work.
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍😎🐶
Wrong! I'm bpd, grew up with a childish mother and have no tolerance for the bullshit. I have no tolerance to deal with people who play games or is inexperienced who craves attention. People would call me coldhearted just because I expect the real in them....most people cant handle the fact that you won't put up with their bullshit. They think you're coldhearted or a sociopath...all I ask is that you be real with me
Resilience to me equals survival. I learned as a child to choose what was best for me by watching and listening. I avoided the negatives and chose the positives. I was very fortunate to have positives. As an adult, I determined that nobody gets everything, but everybody gets something. The trick is to focus on what you have been given and then appreciate and nurture these things. Once in the habit of this, it becomes a coping skill. At least it has for me. I instilled this in my children as well, and they are very resilient people. Largely my examples for this were my grandparents and my father. They were very resilient people. ❤️
I learned about that in order to have hope it can be necessary to have a pathway towards the goal, and part of a strong pathway is mentally and or physically rehearsing what one would do should one encounter obstacles - treating then the obstacles as challenges to overcome-, and should you have a strong pathway(s) then you'll not lose hope; and should you have hope you'll continue moving forward even if you have setbacks. So even though there is confusion on the concept of resilience I've found that the above has been very helpful in dealing with setbacks in general - or rather with regards to moving toward meaningful goals. I learned it from the book "How to perform under pressure".
Resilience should not be confused with the ability to cope nor strength. As a term it has no place in psychological terms applied to people; as it mans to spring or bounce back to a previous form. All that happens to humans leaves or causes some amount of change unique to that person. It is a term used to describe objects. People are not objects. I don't like it when psychological terms are misunderstood when used and here it's really obvious that non psychological terms cannot be used and applied. I would like to know who first started using and coining this term.other disciplines have worked their way into the field of psychology and are now working as mental health providers and they're not equipped to deal with both very serious and subtle issues occuring simultaneously. It's bad enough that many psychologist miss these things too.
I am resilient to traumatic events due to a plethora of trauma since childhood; however, everyday life feels impossible.
I am intensely curious to know how resilience & hope may factor in dissociative identity disorder, or even just to listen to you speak on DID at all (maybe theres a video I haven't found yet?) Is a person with DID more or less resilient? Do they respond to hope? so on..