Me too. I don't even HAVE a morning anymore, as I never fully wake up before 1pm. I try to avoid the earlier hours as much as possible. Being either asleep or half asleep (and thus too sleepy to think or feel much), and in that blissful, cosy in bed state, is just such a relief.
I was just saying the same thing to my therapist. Working on family issues can feel very insular. This channel has opened up a huge sense of connection and helped remove much of the shame!
Me and my hubby are the only ones on either side of our families in therapy. Our issue is the healthier we get the more we realize just how unhealthy they all are. 💙💙💙
This is so interesting. I never liked to get up in the morning because it was the start of everyone else controlling me. First Mom, then teachers, then coaches, then Dad when I got home, then Mom again...I would stay up late and tell myself stories, so I could create and control something. When I was a teen, I would wait until everyone else was asleep and then grab some snacks and watch late night TV by myself. As an adult, I am totally a night owl due to this and it make sense to me now. It's the only time I don't have pressure on me - job, husband, kids - I can just do what I would like. Wow. Thanks for this.
I totally relate to this. I’ve always hated getting up in the morning as it’s the start of having to do things I don’t want to do (like get dressed and go to school), the night is free, in particular free from other humans and there’s something so calm about that. I’d love staying up late watching grown up TV or doing something creative.
@@CJCreativeJuice so many things in life are robotic and with trauma I have trouble being robotic I have times often where I feel like that robot and wanna say F this and just run away but have no where to actually go to lol
Man, you put it into words. To this day I still eat dinner after 9 pm because it was never safe for me to cook for myself while my parents were awake. At night I can cook in peace and take all the time I need.
i relate!! as a kid i stayed up super late and made stories by drawing comics. i'm an artist now but it's still just way easier to relax and focus when working at night than during the day. i've got bad insomnia in general and don't get sleep pressure, it's like my brain wants to run free the later it gets in the day.
When I heard the words, I m going to help you and that's too much for you, it made me cry. I dont recall ever hearing those words growing up. That level of kindness . It's an eye opener
I am 62 years old. My parents, (mother and stepfather), literally fought from the time they woke up until the time they went to bed and it didnt stop until he died in 2013...40+ years of that. The mornings were the worst. Thank you for highlighting this detail. I wake up hours before anyone else. I have to have low lights, quiet and serenity for a couple of hours to not be anxious all day.
In recovery when I became aware of the morning anxiety, I handle it by taking a long run or some kind of aerobic exercise. My parents were in survival mode every morning. I was ignored. The No Talking rule was not broken. A heavy silence.....only sound was the radio news. I was so alone. I simply stopped going to school at the ninth grade. No one commented. Now I can be good to myself. I gave myself permission to enjoy life and to like myself. Thank you for these helpful videos.
When you said for the adult to say to the child "let me handle the anxiety and stuff we have to do today that's too much for you" I just burst into tears. I've been feeling so overwhelmed recently and couldn't figure out really why and now I'm starting to get it.
This Morning I Woke Up Afraid I Was Going To Live- is the most relatable chapter title from the book Prozac Nation. Yes,every morning i wake up and go, ugh, not again. Unless my cat wakes me up. Then im reminded that another soul cares about and relies on me. I feel loved and needed. Morning bubble bath is my most important routine. Helps destress before i start my day. Your videos are so helpful, thank you.
I'm glad you have some relief. Mine's getting worse with age as I care for and worry about aging parents in their 80s, one with dementia and in 2 different parts of the country and no other family to help. Ugh. 😕😓
@@rdoodoo2021 That's a lot of responsibility. I hope you are doing a lot to care for yourself. Keep learning to cope. Please take advantage of every opportunity for self care and help. I will pray for you if you want.💛💛💛 Sincerely, Shandalay
Who would of thought this was a real thing, as a child I always felt I was on my own and that’s exactly how I feel when I woke up very vulnerable and unprotected. But why do nights for me feel so different? I love the quietness and stillness of the night, I feel like I can do more during the night. Thank you for your video! I need really need to have a talk with my inner child tomorrow morning.
This!.. My frame of reference all my life has been ,"I'm just a night owl"..I'm late for work already today. I have "no clothes to wear." (life mantra, literally 5 shirts) no good food in fridge, glasses are all f'd up need replaced. My fav time of day is 10 pm, when no one wants anything from me. Blessings to u , and to u as well Patrick, lots to process. 🙃🙂
i thought i was having intense nightmares, without remembering them.. somehow. This is so helpful. I'm no longer thinking abt "how to get rid of nightmares" and now i'm thinking abt myself and my past and things are feeling clearer. Thank u Dr Teahan so much for all you do. Everyone reading pls support his Patreon!!! Healing can change the world and the more tools out there the better.
Never had I thought I’d get this problem validated. I’ve always woken up with dread and chaos, and this is the first time I feel seen. Patrick Teahan you have done some revolutionary stuff here, thankyou!
Thanks for being delightful discussing opening our eyes that now in adulthood is the perfect time to take baby steps to not imitate the morning drama modeled by the toxic adult(s) that raised us.
Thank you so much for this. I've just recently realised how much my childhood could be responsible for my anxiety. I finally feel like I might be able to improve now working through these excersices
I really needed this. Sometimes I wake up having a panic attack & this can last several hours. Just getting out of bed can leaving me shaking & sobbing because mornings were so difficult for me growing up. I sometimes fall asleep having a panic attack as well
Wow. I’m not sure how I even stumbled upon this video or why the algorithms led me here, but I really needed to see this. I’ve never related my anxiety and panic attacks in the mornings to my childhood. You hit the nail on the head though. I grew up in a “survival mode” family. Thank you so much for making this video. It’s good to know that I’m not the only one with this issue.
It is so awesome that what you say at the very end that you hope for all of us; "May you be...", is actually happening more and more each day from watching your videos. You are a marksman with these topics, and your videos are changing my life. I can see the end of the tunnel and there is light!! THANK YOU!!
Thank you for this! I now try to ease myself into the day and treat myself like a child resisting to go to school in the morning, instead of yelling at myself and get disappointed in me I just take it easy. Like a manual car that needs to go on first gear before the next.
In slovenian language "You got this" we say it "Maš to"! It's great to hear. And then I repeat in my mind to myself a list of things (I wrote down through many months) I ALLREADY accomplished. And it gives me a boost of confidence.
That’s why I used to love staying up very late at night. Great video! I had a roller coaster childhood. Never knew who was going to be in a good mood. Always alert for sensing feelings. That has stayed with me and I can’t shake it.
This makes sense because I have felt more at peace by listening to my inner child and connecting to nature in with childlike wonder. Some of my happiest times were spent camping and exploring, so now my inner child loves to hike or get out in a kayak. Even going to see local comedians and taking the time to laugh, even when I am tired, helps to soothe the inner child. Sometimes actually playing with a kid, strangely helps. I think there were times I didn’t get to be a kid, and once in a while, I still need to “play”. (I am not into constant self-soothing or becoming an adult child, but just capturing small moments in time to have a little fun.)
Ok. So Patrick. I actually get the neurologic of this idea of " my inner child". She is the hurt,ignored, abused little person I was when growing up in the chaos and neglect. So to heal, I can look back at her and give her now the things she needed, but never had. I can remember so little, mostly things that I did away from the family and the family home. In this video I appreciate how you go back to the little daily things and that helps so much. When I heard my moms feet hit that floor in the morning, she made sure we knew she was UP.OMG. Thank you for this wonderful video. Gonna go look up some of your older vids to look for some more gems💎💎💎💎💎💎
Patrick, thank you so much for the work that you do. You are doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing in this life. I recently lost my grandmother (who was my only healthy role model growing up - and my very best friend), and navigating motherhood (7, 5, and 1 year old) while trying to heal my trauma, break the cycle of reactivity, and be the best mother I can be has been extremely challenging. I am learning and working so hard to provide the childhood I never had while giving myself the grace to make mistakes along the way. You have made this journey so much less isolating and heavy, and I love you for that. Thank you, thank you, for giving me such a beautiful gift.
A majority of my life I was basically managed by my inner child’s survival mechanisms. Every morning I got up ready to serve and in people pleasing mode. The past three years I have been in therapy and watching your videos. Now I wake up with anxiety and not excited to face the day. Plus there is a type of person that when they say do I do whatever it is because I feel I have no choice. I must figure out how to stop it!!
I think the amount you can do for your inner child as an adult is somewhat based on the strength of your inner child. So it can be hard at first because even as an adult you might not be able to take on much. But taking on some helps the inner child take challenges within its range, which helps it get stronger, which helps you as an adult get stronger, so you can help your inner child take on appropriate challenges. And so on, in a self supporting loop.
Thank you patrick for being so helpful in my recovery. You ve got it all. I have seeked understanding and help for my morning anxiety unsuccessfully until today. Thank you
Your videos are the only helpful mental health videos I’ve found. I’m so greatful it’s free I’ll watch ur ads lol. Love how you teach first then give ways to change.
When I was a kid, my first thought in the day was my responsibility for getting myself back and forth to school every day. I remember being specifically trained in a routine to function on my own--get up, get dressed, get to school on time, come home, and do homework. Funny thing is, nobody told me what I was supposed to do at school, so up until 6th grade, I thought school was basically a babysitter while my father was at work.
Wow! Awakening! I have always felt sad, or something of not liking the "it" that feeling when I wake up in the morning. I never related it to my trauma as a child. I remember how horrible it was. I was neglected, or blamed for being bad if mom had to fix something to eat. She always told me how bad I am. Most of the time I was hungry, Afraid and felt I was a burden. My Mother's angry look on her face, and I just stayed out of her way. During my grade school years it was not joyous at all! The Worst times was School Picture time. The night before school Picture taking day My mother felt the dreaded task of making me look good for The School. I would get my hair pulled by my Mother, She put hairpins, tight curls in my head. So my hair would be curly and look fixed. She would brush my hair extremely hard, pull my hair. She would yank my hair, yanked me down by my hair, to sit on the hard floor, sit me down hard, it hurt me, in front of her, my back towards her. She would dig her finger making a curl in top of my head, to my forehead, and dig the hair pin in my head. All over my head. It was torture. Im sure at times I drew blood. She would slap me with the hair brush, hit my head with the hairbrush if I cried. Hit my head hard with hair brush while brushing my hair, It hurt me and I hated it. Talking to me in her evil voice, Don't Move! sit here! Damn School!, and school Pictures! You gotta get your picture taken! I have to do your hair! SIT HERE! DON'T MOVE! damn you! While my dad watched and seem to think that behavior was normal. He never saved me, or protect me from her. When she was done, she would say now get the hell out of here! Go to bed! My head hurt all night long. In the Morning I dreaded her taking the hairpins out. At the same time I wanted those hairpins out! She brushed my hair so hard, it hurts and I hated it. When I was at school the time came for the Picture to be taken, I remember having a difficult time Smiling. I do not ever remember ever seeing any of my school pictures. I do remember how HORRIBLE most Mornings were. I feel that hurt unwanted feelings, the fear to this day. I am 63 years old. I have always tried to shove that feeling away, because really I'm genuinely a Happy person. That's why my mom hated me. I did spend most of my childhood lonely. So I would create toys out of almost anything. I drew pictures, made a nice pretend home from boxes. I would pretend I lived somewhere else. I feel so much better now that I do understand why I would have those horrible feelings. What took me so long? I just wanted it to go away.
Oh!! Another lightbulb moment - never really considered this as the source of my 'mornings' (at the moment afternoons - cannot face day at all - then more guilt, anxiety, depression...) *thank you*
Recently I was experiencing anxiety at night. I used to have bad anxiety at night. I used Patrick's teaching to backtrack to my childhood and eliminate the night- time anxiety. I realized that at night, the only supportive person in my family, my Mom, went away with my Dad. My Dad was not nice to me, was jealous of my closeness with my Mom. So at night I felt abandoned, alone and lonely. Realizing this allowed me to be supportive of myself (my inner child?) and reassure myself that I was okay. It worked so well I was surprised. At this same time ( a few weeks ago) I was also having anxiety over an important interview. I could not figure out why, until again I used Patrick's teaching, backtracking to my childhood. I was the youngest and I hated ppl questioning me or insinuating I did not know what I was doing. I was equating the interview with this child-ish interpretation of the interview. Again, it worked like magic. Anxiety disappearing in minutes. And I did well in the interview. I'm freguently reassuring my inner child that I'm taking care of us. I hope this helps others. We CAN heal.
I have anxiety at night but I watched that video first and now that I watch this one I realise that my anxiety at night isn’t because of the night but because I’m trying to prolong the time before the morning because mornings were always stressful. That’s when a lot of my trauma happened and when I’d get screamed at, made to cry, boundaries were broken majorly. I just wanted to escape the house and finally get to wherever I needed to go. Car rides were the worst too because the car ride to school I was always trapped with my parent where they would yell and berate and go over the whole morning again if I had gotten in their way or somehow made them late, (even though I realised it was actually them so instead it just felt really unfair) so at night I tried to prolong the day to not have to deal with the morning. Like a preparation time.
My mom was usually exhausted and miserable. Never saw my dad. And my sister was so incredibly mean in the morning. I've forgiven those from my childhood but I'm still anxious. Mostly about my work day. I set my alarm an hour early now... and then I tell myself it's ok to sleep for another hour. It's the BEST and heaviest sleep I ever get and I dont feel rushed or stressed when I wake up. Also any amount of alcohol before bed makes my mornings feel awful. I never sleep well.
Thank you for this video now I know why this anxiety in the morning the constant rush. Hard to get up on my alarm but even when i do get up on the first alarm I still feel like I’m racing with time and the dread of id still be late and that I have got everything that I need because of that feeling if something I forgot there won’t be no one to call or sort things for me. My childhood mornings are clear. My parents banging the floor to my bedroom with a rod from downstairs for me to wake up . There was a shop directly below my room and and my mom was already ranting at people who are buying stuff and delivery guys. Ranting about me at time, telling everyone how lazy I am , where I have been the night before! Funny because i was very academic and won many school awards for the best grades. But now I remember how she likes to embarrass me . Now I’m more successful than I’ve expect myself to be. But my brother was very lazy and still is and still couldn’t do no wrong in her eyes. Yes I need to revisit my inner child . I love staying up late at night and that makes me exhausted in the morning of course. But at night is when I get to enjoy things. I have always stayed late at night when I was a kid and feel relieved when parents all go upstairs to sleep. I always like to spend all my free time sleeping even until now i fell forever starved with sleep. As I wasn’t allowed to have a late morning or an afternoon nap when I was a kid. I had to be up so early go to school and on weekends early and awake all day to attend the shop. My parents would go and have a nap and while I’m dozing off sitting at the shop in the hot afternoons in the tropics. Thanks Patrick , now you really just have me answers to all of these things I didn’t even know are a thing for us with traumatic childhood.
I prepared last night and thought about my childhood mornings. I did this exercise this morning. Wow! Learned so much. My husband and I both will find a new NEW so we can enjoy our mornings together rather than dread the day (individual dread, we have a happy marriage).Thank you Patrick!!
Hey, Patrick. I would really like to see a video about how to parent. Cuz I'm anxious about not being capable of parenting, and you just seem resourceful.
Wow. I have been dealing with morning anxiety all my life. Ive seen multiple therapists… no one has ever figured it out… but you hit the nail on the head. I’ve already listened to this three times… seriously, wow
I've started to date a guy who also has DID and CPTSD (I have them too) and he has a really hard time to go to sleep due to his traumatic childhood, but I have no problems but my weird thing is that I wake up really quickly and I get a huge anxiety ball. I get really easily sick in the morning because my anxiety gets so bad. I don't remember when I'd just woke up and been relaxed. I started psychoanalytic psychotherapy 2 years ago when I was 16 and my therapist has seen a lot of work I've been doing. It's the only way to heal, for me just to talk. I've always bottled up my feelings before I met my therapist and I finally first time in my life have started to trust people around me. I hope that I can someday go back to school and then get to work.
So glad I found your channel! I’m also a huge fan of The Crappy Childhood Fairy. So good. Your content is so helpful. I’m wondering if you’ve had any requests to make videos on career/money and trauma. The mornings were an unknown trigger for me until I watched this video. My mom would put so much pressure on the mornings to be perfect and if they weren’t, the day was ruined and unsalvageable. What I end up doing is going down an internet hole instead of getting ready because I feel too much pressure to succeed.
I’m alone. I don’t have family, parents, sibs, or friends. I’ve taken the path of aloneness so I don’t have the pain. And, no, I don’t have pictures of my childhood. I hope you will guide me. I will sail the world alone regardless but it would most likely be a happier journey with your help. I’m guessing you don’t have time. Thank you regardless
I have anxiety every morning with thoughts of wishing I could go back to my teen years. I miss how the days felt longer and everyone around you was young so you never had a fear of time running out or dying. My parents mean the world to me and I’m 32 now with a 2 year old and I’m having a hard time accepting that I’m an adult. That I’m the age my mum was when I was 9 and I can remember how she moved and looked so clearly same with my father. I’m not happy like I used to be and want to go back. How the hell do you make your inner child accept that you’re an adult now and everybody you love is getting older? I tried to get in with a therapist but my state has been in lockdown for 8 weeks. I’m loosing my mind
I used to wake up every morning anxious about what mood my mother was in, because it would shape my whole day. I made me acutely tuned in to people’s frame of mind and worrying about how they are feeling and how I can mitigate anything negative. I’m constantly reading everyone, even in the supermarket! Are they a potential threat to me? I can tell someone’s mood just from a text. I’m always searching for signs so that I can tread carefully and not have it all blow up in my face like it used to in childhood.
I'm having extreme anxiety about returning to the office after the pandemic. Like extreme; I brought a new elliptical and can barely do 5 minutes on it, however, before the pandemic I worked out for 45 minutes a day. I also had extreme childhood drama ( I grew up in foster care) maybe its all connected; praying this video helps...
I always woke up knowing I'd have to do whatever I was told, I wasnt able to be anything other than the older sibling taking care of the younger ones so the parents can work. And here I am 19 not wanting to get out of bed, not knowing what I like or want.
About a year ago ,I would wake up in the morning and my heart would be beating out of my chest. That has been happening every morning,ever since . I try to remind myself that am okay that nothing is happening. However ,I am noticing that and remembering that as a child I would fantasize about being older . I am trying to figure out what happened to me . But because I had a lot of different caregivers my life was somewhat hectic . However, by the time I was 10 I was living on my own and taking care of other children.
I was going through some old class journals from elementary school the other day and found one entry where I'd told my little sister her hair wouldn't curl no matter what she did (because it was very straight and didn't take to curling at all -- it's been a life-long problem for her, so it was just me stating a fact) and my mother screamed at me all morning as we got ready for school. Huzzah. 😕
Little to no eye contact, maybe a smile from mom, or not. Hung over & stressed. I developed insomnia by early high school as well. Always afraid at night, listening for danger...
Defiantly not a chilled experience ! I would assumed it came from moving to LA area , but I’ve determined my mind is up about 30 minutes before my body wants to get up. Usually starts my day in a panic , those close just don’t understand .
I wake up hateful, defeated and pessimistic. Just like "who the fuck cares what I do and I wish I could just give up and stay in bed". I was definitely defeated in childhood, just put down again and again. And also neglected, like it definitely didn't matter what I did. Yup, checks out.
I’m angry every time I wake up in the mornings have adhd and. When I was a kid mornings were the worst being woke up for school I never had enough sleep and it led to fights with my mom.
I feel like I'm thinking about myself to much doing that. I've been raising kids for years and now my youngest is a senior. Having to much time, no distractions is raising all this stuff. I'm stuck. Overwhelmed. Where do I go from here? My life has been about others for years and now its completely mine. It feels selfish.
This is so insightful. I have had to be a third caretaker for my siblings so the morning is like the start of my unwanted responsibility, the dread is immense.
I've been dealing with BPD and Anxiety my whole life with suicidal ideation and I just finished my first bottle of Lions mane extract. I have zero anxiety. Zero suicidal thoughts. I've been prescribed effexor Lexapro celexa Ativan. These don't come anywhere close to the relief I've gotten from the extract. I have a new life!
I frequently wake up with a pervasive, physical sense of doom. I used to carry around a sense like that during days as a child. When you were in bed nobody was after you -- yet. Getting up started the miserable scenarios which were often there or you could anticipate they would be if not that exact moment. More or less acute emotional misery was always pending. So I wake up with that feeling to this day in less my life is going really really well. It takes an act of heroism on a small scale to throw the covers aside, hop out of bed and start the day. Being in bed was my "safe place," but you can't stay there forever or bed, also would stop being a safe place. I am now 79 and still have that feeling lately as I am moving through a moderate depression.
Valerie, exactly how it was. The only safe place I had was sleeping and sometimes reading, which was usually in bed. As I got a little older, even sleeping was no longer safe. Dad started this habit, and I'm not sure why, where he'd wake us up at 2:30 am. I remember a lot of times, he was throwing my brothers outside and ordering them to fight each other right outside of my bedroom window, he'd say beat each other until you can't stand up anymore, I want all the fight out of you (apparently he had heard them arguing at some point, not even sure it was at that time), or he'd wake us up beating mom again, and for about 3 or 4 years there, he'd make us go round up the pigs that escaped the pen - at 2:30 in the morning, middle of winter, snowing, blizzard, school in the morning, it just didn't matter. Back then, and to this day, I always wondered if he was the one letting them out because funny thing, we never found out how the pigs were escaping. The fence was never broken anywhere. That lasted the last few years I lived at home. And to this day (I'm 60), I regularly wake up at 2:30 am and have trouble getting back to sleep. So I guess I'm saying yes, bed was the only safe place, but even that got broken up in latter years. Amazing what some parents act like. When my kids were growing up, I'd often look at them and say, "that's how old I when this happened, or that happened," and I just couldn't fathom what would possess a parent to treat a kid like that. I also hugged my kids a lot when thinking those thoughts. Almost like I hugging my inner child, lol.
When I was in high school I had to force my legs to move it was all psychological but I always worried one day my legs literally would just stop working
It's interesting you made that roommate analogy. When I was still living at home I'd often tell people "my parents don't really feel like my parents, just the world's worst roommates". Mornings have always been super triggering for me - the family home was in complete chaos, my mom screaming that things weren't getting done, weren't clean enough, etc. My dad would scream at the dog for wanting to go potty or wanting to eat, or at the cats if they were rubbing on him to be pet before he left for work. No one approached dad in the mornings. My sister who was eight years older than me would be out late with her friends, sometimes hungover or just tired from being out too late. We didn't have a whole lot of money for food since my mom was constantly switching jobs, and if she did have a stable job she was blowing it on nice cars for herself or spending hours at the mall on clothes and shoes for herself - later on maxing credit cards trying to start a business flipping houses that inevitably flopped. I remember someone from our church actually giving us clothes at one point because they felt bad for us. I was only able to eat by means of my equally narcissistic grandmother (who would use lunch money, food, clothes, etc. to try and lure me to her side and pit me against my mother) or straight up stealing cash from my dad's wallet or the change jar to buy food at school or at the store. Being into scarcity mode lead me to gain weight because I would binge eat. I struggled in school from all of the drama at home along with ADHD and autism and not feeling like I fit in anywhere. I was picked on pretty bad from first grade to senior year and had some pretty toxic relationships - by the time I finished high school I was so withdrawn that NO ONE signed my yearbook that year (I didn't even want one but my mom ended up buying it for me, I just let her keep it when I moved out). I'm in my 30s and still struggling with that "oh shit" feeling and just overall having this "failure to launch" feeling where I just loaf around on youtube watching cat videos all day wondering where time went... these videos are massive wake-up calls. It makes so much sense now. Thank you Patrick for helping me and so many other folks trying to make sense of all this :)
Dang dude, I'm sorry. Sounds like you lived a nightmare. I'm glad you're free from all of that. Best wishes upon you and your overcoming journey. I believe in you, I know you can do it! 💪🧙♂️
"My family only existed in survival mode." Damn, that really hits home. Thanks, that gives me a lot to reflect on with my recent financial anxieties. Even when we have enough, which thank goodness we do right now, I'm always in survival mode because that's how I grew up. If something comes up short, I always feel like it's my fault somehow because my parents put me in charge of very big financial decisions like whether to move across the country and which house to buy. That's a lot for a 10 year old to bear.
Omg, I remember my dad used to make us sit on the living room floor ALL THE TIME and help him figure out things like, "should I cheat on my taxes, how much... and explain things like how much money they take, how he thinks he could get away with this or that, " or he'd say "we're not making enough money, how do you think I could earn more?" I actually had a brilliant idea once, and he called me stupid. A few years later, after I moved away, I was walking past a store one day and lo and behold, there was my idea for sale. I researched it and the guy who ended up doing it made a fortune. He'd keep us there for hours, sometimes all day, and a few times, the entire weekend trying to help him figure out ways to save money on expenses, or make more money on a business venture (or how to cheat on taxes or whatever) or how to get a personal loan, etc. We were fcking little kids! How would we possibly know what to do? Yet we weren't allowed to leave until "somebody comes up with a good idea." Of course, nothing we ever said was good enough, and usually ridiculed or called stupid. I remember when I asked a lot of questions about taxes, I finally said I don't think you should try to cheat on taxes, Dad, and explained why. Boy. He did not like that answer, lol. Sigh. How crazy, making your kids sit there all day or all weekend trying to solve adult problems. 🤔
My Mom was awful, I would be afraid to say hi in the morning. If I did she would have a nasty face on and say hi in a nasty tone. When I look at child pictures of me, I usually feel sad because I can remember very clearly what that felt like. She also hated our dog and would scream at him. She would tell him to choke on his food and die. Yeah, then I had to go to school with a learning issue that was never helped but got yelled at for by my father because he wouldn’t pay for a tutor.
Thank you for sharing! It helps me to know that I'm not the only one who gets sad when I look at old pictures of myself. I couldn't pinpoint the exact reason but what you said is it. I remember forcing myself to smile or look happy for the camera when my covert narcissistic mother was the one taking it. I was never happy around her, nor my dad, and most of my extended family on both sides.
I thought I was the only one who had heavy emotions in the morning. It was worse on weekend and holiday mornings since the whole family was at home. Oh and Friday evenings too, it was my brain anticipating the stressful weekend, I realize. I don't get them as often since I started meditating and processing my emotions. I used to search "morning depression" on google and didn't really find anything useful. Thanks, Patrick. I loved the example that you gave about telling your son the things you would do with him after school. I also started doing that with myself, like saying I'd cook a nice meal or phone a friend or relax in my bed and that made me feel better than I had woken up feeling. Your son is lucky to have you :)
I have it too. It's because subconsciously we feel unsafe all of the time. We try to tell ourselves we are, but we don't feel it. The thoughts are only a symptom of the subconscious beliefs of unworthiness.
I often wake up in a panic with a racing heart beat. It feels like a very intense panic attack. I feel confused about where I am, and when I figure it out, I realize like "oh, okay, I'm alive", I then start to panic about how my day will go
Yup. Sometimes the "I'm alive" part is the heavy part, like..sigh..I have to keep going. Then quickly mentally download a very long list of all the things I have to do today and all the ways I can fail. I panic constantly in my dreams (often I'm getting attacked or pursued by predatory animals like bears or big cats), wake up panicked, stay awake until I pass out at night, repeat. I'm exhausted to my soul. I feel you on this.
My first thought is i want to go back to sleep. It takes a great deal of effort to get out of be and do what is needed for the day.
Me too. Often times I feel like I haven't slept at all and I just want to start the night all over again.
Me too. I don't even HAVE a morning anymore, as I never fully wake up before 1pm. I try to avoid the earlier hours as much as possible.
Being either asleep or half asleep (and thus too sleepy to think or feel much), and in that blissful, cosy in bed state, is just such a relief.
@@ladybaabaa3294 ❤️Right there with you
Omg I feel like someone finally understands me. I also tend to sleep more on bad days.
Holy shit!!! I love yoU. ME TOO. I thought there was something wrong with me.
Your talks diffuse the isolation of my perceived uniqueness of my family's dysfunction. For me this dissolves some of the loneliness and self doubt.
I was just saying the same thing to my therapist. Working on family issues can feel very insular. This channel has opened up a huge sense of connection and helped remove much of the shame!
Me and my hubby are the only ones on either side of our families in therapy. Our issue is the healthier we get the more we realize just how unhealthy they all are.
💙💙💙
That's such a great description, i feel the same way
Exactly!
This is so interesting. I never liked to get up in the morning because it was the start of everyone else controlling me. First Mom, then teachers, then coaches, then Dad when I got home, then Mom again...I would stay up late and tell myself stories, so I could create and control something. When I was a teen, I would wait until everyone else was asleep and then grab some snacks and watch late night TV by myself. As an adult, I am totally a night owl due to this and it make sense to me now. It's the only time I don't have pressure on me - job, husband, kids - I can just do what I would like. Wow. Thanks for this.
Similar. The night is quiet and safe.
I totally relate to this. I’ve always hated getting up in the morning as it’s the start of having to do things I don’t want to do (like get dressed and go to school), the night is free, in particular free from other humans and there’s something so calm about that. I’d love staying up late watching grown up TV or doing something creative.
@@CJCreativeJuice so many things in life are robotic and with trauma I have trouble being robotic I have times often where I feel like that robot and wanna say F this and just run away but have no where to actually go to lol
Man, you put it into words. To this day I still eat dinner after 9 pm because it was never safe for me to cook for myself while my parents were awake. At night I can cook in peace and take all the time I need.
i relate!! as a kid i stayed up super late and made stories by drawing comics. i'm an artist now but it's still just way easier to relax and focus when working at night than during the day. i've got bad insomnia in general and don't get sleep pressure, it's like my brain wants to run free the later it gets in the day.
When I heard the words, I m going to help you and that's too much for you, it made me cry. I dont recall ever hearing those words growing up. That level of kindness . It's an eye opener
Nope. All I recall for help was my grandpa helping my plastic zoo animals stand up.
Find a way to experience that love x
“Kindergarten sounds luxurious to you as an adult but to them, a 6 year old, it is stressful”🤯
I am 62 years old. My parents, (mother and stepfather), literally fought from the time they woke up until the time they went to bed and it didnt stop until he died in 2013...40+ years of that. The mornings were the worst. Thank you for highlighting this detail. I wake up hours before anyone else. I have to have low lights, quiet and serenity for a couple of hours to not be anxious all day.
In recovery when I became aware of the morning anxiety, I handle it by taking a long run or some kind of aerobic exercise. My parents were in survival mode every morning. I was ignored. The No Talking rule was not broken. A heavy silence.....only sound was the radio news. I was so alone. I simply stopped going to school at the ninth grade. No one commented. Now I can be good to myself. I gave myself permission to enjoy life and to like myself. Thank you for these helpful videos.
"I gave myself permission to enjoy life and to like myself" ... ♡
I love that...."I gave myself permission to enjoy life and like myself"...thank you for that!
a good coffee made by the local barista who starts making my coffee as I walk in and serves it with a smile is my happy moment every single time.
God I've been waiting for morning anxiety videos! I've been suffering with this FOREVERRRRR
When you said for the adult to say to the child "let me handle the anxiety and stuff we have to do today that's too much for you" I just burst into tears. I've been feeling so overwhelmed recently and couldn't figure out really why and now I'm starting to get it.
Thank you. It's good to realise that I'm not alone
💕 I feel the same way.
Yes!!, 😊😼👏👏
This Morning I Woke Up Afraid I Was Going To Live- is the most relatable chapter title from the book Prozac Nation.
Yes,every morning i wake up and go, ugh, not again.
Unless my cat wakes me up. Then im reminded that another soul cares about and relies on me. I feel loved and needed.
Morning bubble bath is my most important routine. Helps destress before i start my day.
Your videos are so helpful, thank you.
It is only now in my 40s that I dont wake in survival mode.
I'm glad you have some relief. Mine's getting worse with age as I care for and worry about aging parents in their 80s, one with dementia and in 2 different parts of the country and no other family to help. Ugh. 😕😓
@@rdoodoo2021 That's a lot of responsibility. I hope you are doing a lot to care for yourself. Keep learning to cope. Please take advantage of every opportunity for self care and help. I will pray for you if you want.💛💛💛 Sincerely, Shandalay
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and healing words. I appreciate your time and energy creating these videos to cast all over the world.
Thank you, sir. It's so important for people like us to learn to parent ourselves. You're helping people!
Who would of thought this was a real thing, as a child I always felt I was on my own and that’s exactly how I feel when I woke up very vulnerable and unprotected. But why do nights for me feel so different? I love the quietness and stillness of the night, I feel like I can do more during the night. Thank you for your video! I need really need to have a talk with my inner child tomorrow morning.
Nights are like a balm.
This!.. My frame of reference all my life has been ,"I'm just a night owl"..I'm late for work already today. I have "no clothes to wear." (life mantra, literally 5 shirts) no good food in fridge, glasses are all f'd up need replaced. My fav time of day is 10 pm, when no one wants anything from me. Blessings to u , and to u as well Patrick, lots to process. 🙃🙂
@@lostcoast2565 You are my people. Welcome home!
i thought i was having intense nightmares, without remembering them.. somehow. This is so helpful. I'm no longer thinking abt "how to get rid of nightmares" and now i'm thinking abt myself and my past and things are feeling clearer. Thank u Dr Teahan so much for all you do.
Everyone reading pls support his Patreon!!! Healing can change the world and the more tools out there the better.
Never had I thought I’d get this problem validated. I’ve always woken up with dread and chaos, and this is the first time I feel seen. Patrick Teahan you have done some revolutionary stuff here, thankyou!
For years I’ve had “the morning blues” but never connected it to the sub conscious/inner child
Thanks for being delightful discussing opening our eyes that now in adulthood is the perfect time to take baby steps to not imitate the morning drama modeled by the toxic adult(s) that raised us.
Thank you so much for this. I've just recently realised how much my childhood could be responsible for my anxiety. I finally feel like I might be able to improve now working through these excersices
Wonderful video Patrick... or grew up with a chronically depressed parent.. complete energy vampire parent..
I really needed this. Sometimes I wake up having a panic attack & this can last several hours. Just getting out of bed can leaving me shaking & sobbing because mornings were so difficult for me growing up. I sometimes fall asleep having a panic attack as well
Wow. I’m not sure how I even stumbled upon this video or why the algorithms led me here, but I really needed to see this. I’ve never related my anxiety and panic attacks in the mornings to my childhood. You hit the nail on the head though. I grew up in a “survival mode” family. Thank you so much for making this video. It’s good to know that I’m not the only one with this issue.
It is so awesome that what you say at the very end that you hope for all of us; "May you be...", is actually happening more and more each day from watching your videos. You are a marksman with these topics, and your videos are changing my life. I can see the end of the tunnel and there is light!! THANK YOU!!
Thank you so much for these videos. They are SO helpful. You are so wise, empathic & calm. I am so happy I have found your videos.
Thank you for this!
I now try to ease myself into the day and treat myself like a child resisting to go to school in the morning, instead of yelling at myself and get disappointed in me I just take it easy. Like a manual car that needs to go on first gear before the next.
Love this ❤
In slovenian language "You got this" we say it "Maš to"! It's great to hear. And then I repeat in my mind to myself a list of things (I wrote down through many months) I ALLREADY accomplished. And it gives me a boost of confidence.
That’s why I used to love staying up very late at night. Great video! I had a roller coaster childhood. Never knew who was going to be in a good mood. Always alert for sensing feelings. That has stayed with me and I can’t shake it.
This makes sense because I have felt more at peace by listening to my inner child and connecting to nature in with childlike wonder. Some of my happiest times were spent camping and exploring, so now my inner child loves to hike or get out in a kayak. Even going to see local comedians and taking the time to laugh, even when I am tired, helps to soothe the inner child. Sometimes actually playing with a kid, strangely helps. I think there were times I didn’t get to be a kid, and once in a while, I still need to “play”. (I am not into constant self-soothing or becoming an adult child, but just capturing small moments in time to have a little fun.)
Ok. So Patrick. I actually get the neurologic of this idea of " my inner child". She is the hurt,ignored, abused little person I was when growing up in the chaos and neglect. So to heal, I can look back at her and give her now the things she needed, but never had. I can remember so little, mostly things that I did away from the family and the family home. In this video I appreciate how you go back to the little daily things and that helps so much. When I heard my moms feet hit that floor in the morning, she made sure we knew she was UP.OMG. Thank you for this wonderful video. Gonna go look up some of your older vids to look for some more gems💎💎💎💎💎💎
I needed this. It's 11 am right now. And I feel all of these.
Patrick, thank you so much for the work that you do. You are doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing in this life. I recently lost my grandmother (who was my only healthy role model growing up - and my very best friend), and navigating motherhood (7, 5, and 1 year old) while trying to heal my trauma, break the cycle of reactivity, and be the best mother I can be has been extremely challenging. I am learning and working so hard to provide the childhood I never had while giving myself the grace to make mistakes along the way. You have made this journey so much less isolating and heavy, and I love you for that. Thank you, thank you, for giving me such a beautiful gift.
I literally shook when I read this video's title. Thank you for sharing this content.
A majority of my life I was basically managed by my inner child’s survival mechanisms. Every morning I got up ready to serve and in people pleasing mode.
The past three years I have been in therapy and watching your videos. Now I wake up with anxiety and not excited to face the day.
Plus there is a type of person that when they say do I do whatever it is because I feel I have no choice. I must figure out how to stop it!!
I think the amount you can do for your inner child as an adult is somewhat based on the strength of your inner child. So it can be hard at first because even as an adult you might not be able to take on much. But taking on some helps the inner child take challenges within its range, which helps it get stronger, which helps you as an adult get stronger, so you can help your inner child take on appropriate challenges. And so on, in a self supporting loop.
Thank you patrick for being so helpful in my recovery. You ve got it all. I have seeked understanding and help for my morning anxiety unsuccessfully until today. Thank you
Your videos are the only helpful mental health videos I’ve found. I’m so greatful it’s free I’ll watch ur ads lol. Love how you teach first then give ways to change.
When I was a kid, my first thought in the day was my responsibility for getting myself back and forth to school every day. I remember being specifically trained in a routine to function on my own--get up, get dressed, get to school on time, come home, and do homework. Funny thing is, nobody told me what I was supposed to do at school, so up until 6th grade, I thought school was basically a babysitter while my father was at work.
Wow! Awakening! I have always felt sad, or something of not liking the "it" that feeling when I wake up in the morning. I never related it to my trauma as a child. I remember how horrible it was. I was neglected, or blamed for being bad if mom had to fix something to eat. She always told me how bad I am. Most of the time I was hungry, Afraid and felt I was a burden. My Mother's angry look on her face, and I just stayed out of her way. During my grade school years it was not joyous at all! The Worst times was School Picture time. The night before school Picture taking day My mother felt the dreaded task of making me look good for The School. I would get my hair pulled by my Mother, She put hairpins, tight curls in my head. So my hair would be curly and look fixed. She would brush my hair extremely hard, pull my hair. She would yank my hair, yanked me down by my hair, to sit on the hard floor, sit me down hard, it hurt me, in front of her, my back towards her. She would dig her finger making a curl in top of my head, to my forehead, and dig the hair pin in my head. All over my head. It was torture. Im sure at times I drew blood. She would slap me with the hair brush, hit my head with the hairbrush if I cried. Hit my head hard with hair brush while brushing my hair, It hurt me and I hated it. Talking to me in her evil voice, Don't Move! sit here! Damn School!, and school Pictures! You gotta get your picture taken! I have to do your hair! SIT HERE! DON'T MOVE! damn you! While my dad watched and seem to think that behavior was normal. He never saved me, or protect me from her. When she was done, she would say now get the hell out of here! Go to bed! My head hurt all night long. In the Morning I dreaded her taking the hairpins out. At the same time I wanted those hairpins out! She brushed my hair so hard, it hurts and I hated it. When I was at school the time came for the Picture to be taken, I remember having a difficult time Smiling. I do not ever remember ever seeing any of my school pictures. I do remember how HORRIBLE most Mornings were. I feel that hurt unwanted feelings, the fear to this day. I am 63 years old. I have always tried to shove that feeling away, because really I'm genuinely a Happy person. That's why my mom hated me. I did spend most of my childhood lonely. So I would create toys out of almost anything. I drew pictures, made a nice pretend home from boxes. I would pretend I lived somewhere else. I feel so much better now that I do understand why I would have those horrible feelings. What took me so long? I just wanted it to go away.
😮
Oh!! Another lightbulb moment - never really considered this as the source of my 'mornings' (at the moment afternoons - cannot face day at all - then more guilt, anxiety, depression...) *thank you*
Is it weird I can't remember much of anything from my early years? There was definitely trauma.
Count yourself lucky. I remember too much and how everything SUCKED. All you can do is put it all behind and it has no more power over you.
Recently I was experiencing anxiety at night. I used to have bad anxiety at night. I used Patrick's teaching to backtrack to my childhood and eliminate the night- time anxiety. I realized that at night, the only supportive person in my family, my Mom, went away with my Dad. My Dad was not nice to me, was jealous of my closeness with my Mom. So at night I felt abandoned, alone and lonely. Realizing this allowed me to be supportive of myself (my inner child?) and reassure myself that I was okay. It worked so well I was surprised. At this same time ( a few weeks ago) I was also having anxiety over an important interview. I could not figure out why, until again I used Patrick's teaching, backtracking to my childhood. I was the youngest and I hated ppl questioning me or insinuating I did not know what I was doing. I was equating the interview with this child-ish interpretation of the interview. Again, it worked like magic. Anxiety disappearing in minutes. And I did well in the interview. I'm freguently reassuring my inner child that I'm taking care of us. I hope this helps others. We CAN heal.
Wowwww love this
I have anxiety at night but I watched that video first and now that I watch this one I realise that my anxiety at night isn’t because of the night but because I’m trying to prolong the time before the morning because mornings were always stressful. That’s when a lot of my trauma happened and when I’d get screamed at, made to cry, boundaries were broken majorly. I just wanted to escape the house and finally get to wherever I needed to go. Car rides were the worst too because the car ride to school I was always trapped with my parent where they would yell and berate and go over the whole morning again if I had gotten in their way or somehow made them late, (even though I realised it was actually them so instead it just felt really unfair) so at night I tried to prolong the day to not have to deal with the morning. Like a preparation time.
My mom was usually exhausted and miserable. Never saw my dad. And my sister was so incredibly mean in the morning. I've forgiven those from my childhood but I'm still anxious. Mostly about my work day. I set my alarm an hour early now... and then I tell myself it's ok to sleep for another hour. It's the BEST and heaviest sleep I ever get and I dont feel rushed or stressed when I wake up. Also any amount of alcohol before bed makes my mornings feel awful. I never sleep well.
That time I clicked on UA-cam first thing in the morning telling myself "Time to hush the morning anxiety" and this video pops up....
I thought I was the only one who woke up with dread. Helpful. Thank you
Thank you so much for making this video and this series, your content is extremely helpful and comforting
It often feels like a punch in the gut when you wake up
It really does, then the feelings of dread & impending doom set in.
Thank you for this video now I know why this anxiety in the morning the constant rush. Hard to get up on my alarm but even when i do get up on the first alarm I still feel like I’m racing with time and the dread of id still be late and that I have got everything that I need because of that feeling if something I forgot there won’t be no one to call or sort things for me. My childhood mornings are clear. My parents banging the floor to my bedroom with a rod from downstairs for me to wake up . There was a shop directly below my room and and my mom was already ranting at people who are buying stuff and delivery guys. Ranting about me at time, telling everyone how lazy I am , where I have been the night before! Funny because i was very academic and won many school awards for the best grades. But now I remember how she likes to embarrass me . Now I’m more successful than I’ve expect myself to be. But my brother was very lazy and still is and still couldn’t do no wrong in her eyes. Yes I need to revisit my inner child . I love staying up late at night and that makes me exhausted in the morning of course. But at night is when I get to enjoy things. I have always stayed late at night when I was a kid and feel relieved when parents all go upstairs to sleep. I always like to spend all my free time sleeping even until now i fell forever starved with sleep. As I wasn’t allowed to have a late morning or an afternoon nap when I was a kid. I had to be up so early go to school and on weekends early and awake all day to attend the shop. My parents would go and have a nap and while I’m dozing off sitting at the shop in the hot afternoons in the tropics. Thanks Patrick , now you really just have me answers to all of these things I didn’t even know are a thing for us with traumatic childhood.
I prepared last night and thought about my childhood mornings. I did this exercise this morning. Wow! Learned so much. My husband and I both will find a new NEW so we can enjoy our mornings together rather than dread the day (individual dread, we have a happy marriage).Thank you Patrick!!
Hey, Patrick. I would really like to see a video about how to parent. Cuz I'm anxious about not being capable of parenting, and you just seem resourceful.
I think my crappy childhood is causing me to be moody and stressed around my children. I hate it and can’t seem to get a handle on things
Thank you for your understanding, compassion and practical strategies. 👍💛
Thank you. I thought I was the only one.
Wow. I have been dealing with morning anxiety all my life. Ive seen multiple therapists… no one has ever figured it out… but you hit the nail on the head. I’ve already listened to this three times… seriously, wow
I've started to date a guy who also has DID and CPTSD (I have them too) and he has a really hard time to go to sleep due to his traumatic childhood, but I have no problems but my weird thing is that I wake up really quickly and I get a huge anxiety ball. I get really easily sick in the morning because my anxiety gets so bad. I don't remember when I'd just woke up and been relaxed. I started psychoanalytic psychotherapy 2 years ago when I was 16 and my therapist has seen a lot of work I've been doing. It's the only way to heal, for me just to talk. I've always bottled up my feelings before I met my therapist and I finally first time in my life have started to trust people around me. I hope that I can someday go back to school and then get to work.
Omg this video is so good I've been looking for an answer on why this has been happening to me. Thank you so much
So glad I found your channel! I’m also a huge fan of The Crappy Childhood Fairy. So good. Your content is so helpful. I’m wondering if you’ve had any requests to make videos on career/money and trauma. The mornings were an unknown trigger for me until I watched this video. My mom would put so much pressure on the mornings to be perfect and if they weren’t, the day was ruined and unsalvageable. What I end up doing is going down an internet hole instead of getting ready because I feel too much pressure to succeed.
This is incredibly helpful thank you Patrick, helped me make a lot of connections I have not felt before
I’m alone. I don’t have family, parents, sibs, or friends. I’ve taken the path of aloneness so I don’t have the pain. And, no, I don’t have pictures of my childhood. I hope you will guide me. I will sail the world alone regardless but it would most likely be a happier journey with your help. I’m guessing you don’t have time. Thank you regardless
Great insightful vid Patrick.
Thanks from Ireland 🇮🇪
Thank you.🙏
thank you, my parents were absent in my life..
I have anxiety every morning with thoughts of wishing I could go back to my teen years. I miss how the days felt longer and everyone around you was young so you never had a fear of time running out or dying. My parents mean the world to me and I’m 32 now with a 2 year old and I’m having a hard time accepting that I’m an adult. That I’m the age my mum was when I was 9 and I can remember how she moved and looked so clearly same with my father. I’m not happy like I used to be and want to go back. How the hell do you make your inner child accept that you’re an adult now and everybody you love is getting older? I tried to get in with a therapist but my state has been in lockdown for 8 weeks. I’m loosing my mind
I used to wake up every morning anxious about what mood my mother was in, because it would shape my whole day. I made me acutely tuned in to people’s frame of mind and worrying about how they are feeling and how I can mitigate anything negative. I’m constantly reading everyone, even in the supermarket! Are they a potential threat to me? I can tell someone’s mood just from a text. I’m always searching for signs so that I can tread carefully and not have it all blow up in my face like it used to in childhood.
I'm having extreme anxiety about returning to the office after the pandemic. Like extreme; I brought a new elliptical and can barely do 5 minutes on it, however, before the pandemic I worked out for 45 minutes a day. I also had extreme childhood drama ( I grew up in foster care) maybe its all connected; praying this video helps...
Wow, I cannot tell you how helpful this is!!! I’ll have to become a Patreon 😄
I always woke up knowing I'd have to do whatever I was told, I wasnt able to be anything other than the older sibling taking care of the younger ones so the parents can work. And here I am 19 not wanting to get out of bed, not knowing what I like or want.
This made me misty-eyed
Thank you, this has really given me a new perspective and I think it has been super helpful
Thanks!
I love my timer on my coffee machine. But, boy, is that a bummer when I forget to set it up the night before.
About a year ago ,I would wake up in the morning and my heart would be beating out of my chest.
That has been happening every morning,ever since .
I try to remind myself that am okay that nothing is happening.
However ,I am noticing that and remembering that as a child I would fantasize about being older .
I am trying to figure out what happened to me .
But because I had a lot of different caregivers my life was somewhat hectic .
However, by the time I was 10 I was living on my own and taking care of other children.
Oh FUCK ! - 🤣🤣🤣😅 - So 100% on the spot 😁
You really feel us 😘 👋
I was going through some old class journals from elementary school the other day and found one entry where I'd told my little sister her hair wouldn't curl no matter what she did (because it was very straight and didn't take to curling at all -- it's been a life-long problem for her, so it was just me stating a fact) and my mother screamed at me all morning as we got ready for school. Huzzah. 😕
Omg I always experience morning anxiety 😮
Little to no eye contact, maybe a smile from mom, or not. Hung over & stressed. I developed insomnia by early high school as well. Always afraid at night, listening for danger...
Catchy intro !”🤣
Thank you! This really resonates 🙏
Lol. That's usually the first word of my day. This will be good
Thank you so much.
Defiantly not a chilled experience ! I would assumed it came from moving to LA area , but I’ve determined my mind is up about 30 minutes before my body wants to get up. Usually starts my day in a panic , those close just don’t understand .
I wake up hateful, defeated and pessimistic. Just like "who the fuck cares what I do and I wish I could just give up and stay in bed". I was definitely defeated in childhood, just put down again and again. And also neglected, like it definitely didn't matter what I did. Yup, checks out.
My blood pressure shoots up the second I wake up adding physical to the emotional stuff.
I’m angry every time I wake up in the mornings have adhd and. When I was a kid mornings were the worst being woke up for school I never had enough sleep and it led to fights with my mom.
Yes
your audio was on point for this one
When I wake up I feel broken hearted in my chest and dragging
I feel like I'm thinking about myself to much doing that. I've been raising kids for years and now my youngest is a senior. Having to much time, no distractions is raising all this stuff. I'm stuck. Overwhelmed. Where do I go from here? My life has been about others for years and now its completely mine. It feels selfish.
This is so insightful. I have had to be a third caretaker for my siblings so the morning is like the start of my unwanted responsibility, the dread is immense.
I've been dealing with BPD and Anxiety my whole life with suicidal ideation and I just finished my first bottle of Lions mane extract. I have zero anxiety. Zero suicidal thoughts. I've been prescribed effexor Lexapro celexa Ativan. These don't come anywhere close to the relief I've gotten from the extract. I have a new life!
I frequently wake up with a pervasive, physical sense of doom. I used to carry around a sense like that during days as a child. When you were in bed nobody was after you -- yet. Getting up started the miserable scenarios which were often there or you could anticipate they would be if not that exact moment. More or less acute emotional misery was always pending. So I wake up with that feeling to this day in less my life is going really really well. It takes an act of heroism on a small scale to throw the covers aside, hop out of bed and start the day. Being in bed was my "safe place," but you can't stay there forever or bed, also would stop being a safe place. I am now 79 and still have that feeling lately as I am moving through a moderate depression.
Valerie you have put into exact words how I feel!
Sending love and care 💖💗
Valerie, I am 61 and feel similar. Sending you love and peace 🤍
Valerie, exactly how it was. The only safe place I had was sleeping and sometimes reading, which was usually in bed. As I got a little older, even sleeping was no longer safe. Dad started this habit, and I'm not sure why, where he'd wake us up at 2:30 am. I remember a lot of times, he was throwing my brothers outside and ordering them to fight each other right outside of my bedroom window, he'd say beat each other until you can't stand up anymore, I want all the fight out of you (apparently he had heard them arguing at some point, not even sure it was at that time), or he'd wake us up beating mom again, and for about 3 or 4 years there, he'd make us go round up the pigs that escaped the pen - at 2:30 in the morning, middle of winter, snowing, blizzard, school in the morning, it just didn't matter. Back then, and to this day, I always wondered if he was the one letting them out because funny thing, we never found out how the pigs were escaping. The fence was never broken anywhere. That lasted the last few years I lived at home. And to this day (I'm 60), I regularly wake up at 2:30 am and have trouble getting back to sleep. So I guess I'm saying yes, bed was the only safe place, but even that got broken up in latter years. Amazing what some parents act like. When my kids were growing up, I'd often look at them and say, "that's how old I when this happened, or that happened," and I just couldn't fathom what would possess a parent to treat a kid like that. I also hugged my kids a lot when thinking those thoughts. Almost like I hugging my inner child, lol.
When I was in high school I had to force my legs to move it was all psychological but I always worried one day my legs literally would just stop working
I never thought that those heavy feelings when I woke up was coming from my childhood. This is very eye opening.
I know I’ve always had it .
Same here. Hugs.
Same 🤯
yeah this was beautiful "let me take care of that now, this is too much for you"
Same!!
It's interesting you made that roommate analogy. When I was still living at home I'd often tell people "my parents don't really feel like my parents, just the world's worst roommates". Mornings have always been super triggering for me - the family home was in complete chaos, my mom screaming that things weren't getting done, weren't clean enough, etc. My dad would scream at the dog for wanting to go potty or wanting to eat, or at the cats if they were rubbing on him to be pet before he left for work. No one approached dad in the mornings. My sister who was eight years older than me would be out late with her friends, sometimes hungover or just tired from being out too late. We didn't have a whole lot of money for food since my mom was constantly switching jobs, and if she did have a stable job she was blowing it on nice cars for herself or spending hours at the mall on clothes and shoes for herself - later on maxing credit cards trying to start a business flipping houses that inevitably flopped. I remember someone from our church actually giving us clothes at one point because they felt bad for us. I was only able to eat by means of my equally narcissistic grandmother (who would use lunch money, food, clothes, etc. to try and lure me to her side and pit me against my mother) or straight up stealing cash from my dad's wallet or the change jar to buy food at school or at the store. Being into scarcity mode lead me to gain weight because I would binge eat. I struggled in school from all of the drama at home along with ADHD and autism and not feeling like I fit in anywhere. I was picked on pretty bad from first grade to senior year and had some pretty toxic relationships - by the time I finished high school I was so withdrawn that NO ONE signed my yearbook that year (I didn't even want one but my mom ended up buying it for me, I just let her keep it when I moved out). I'm in my 30s and still struggling with that "oh shit" feeling and just overall having this "failure to launch" feeling where I just loaf around on youtube watching cat videos all day wondering where time went... these videos are massive wake-up calls. It makes so much sense now. Thank you Patrick for helping me and so many other folks trying to make sense of all this :)
Dang dude, I'm sorry. Sounds like you lived a nightmare. I'm glad you're free from all of that. Best wishes upon you and your overcoming journey. I believe in you, I know you can do it! 💪🧙♂️
Hugs.
I think you are brave:)
I am glad you found this channel. You are here among others who can relate, sympathize and encourage.
Thank you for that comment. Thank you for sharing. I wish you all the best.😌
"My family only existed in survival mode." Damn, that really hits home. Thanks, that gives me a lot to reflect on with my recent financial anxieties. Even when we have enough, which thank goodness we do right now, I'm always in survival mode because that's how I grew up. If something comes up short, I always feel like it's my fault somehow because my parents put me in charge of very big financial decisions like whether to move across the country and which house to buy. That's a lot for a 10 year old to bear.
I had a similar experience in childhood. Always my responsibility to make huge decisions at too young an age. 😭
Omg, I remember my dad used to make us sit on the living room floor ALL THE TIME and help him figure out things like, "should I cheat on my taxes, how much... and explain things like how much money they take, how he thinks he could get away with this or that, " or he'd say "we're not making enough money, how do you think I could earn more?" I actually had a brilliant idea once, and he called me stupid. A few years later, after I moved away, I was walking past a store one day and lo and behold, there was my idea for sale. I researched it and the guy who ended up doing it made a fortune. He'd keep us there for hours, sometimes all day, and a few times, the entire weekend trying to help him figure out ways to save money on expenses, or make more money on a business venture (or how to cheat on taxes or whatever) or how to get a personal loan, etc. We were fcking little kids! How would we possibly know what to do? Yet we weren't allowed to leave until "somebody comes up with a good idea." Of course, nothing we ever said was good enough, and usually ridiculed or called stupid. I remember when I asked a lot of questions about taxes, I finally said I don't think you should try to cheat on taxes, Dad, and explained why. Boy. He did not like that answer, lol. Sigh. How crazy, making your kids sit there all day or all weekend trying to solve adult problems. 🤔
Why do they do that? Similar for me, they abused and ignored then a big decision comes…..I don’t get it
My Mom was awful, I would be afraid to say hi in the morning. If I did she would have a nasty face on and say hi in a nasty tone. When I look at child pictures of me, I usually feel sad because I can remember very clearly what that felt like. She also hated our dog and would scream at him. She would tell him to choke on his food and die. Yeah, then I had to go to school with a learning issue that was never helped but got yelled at for by my father because he wouldn’t pay for a tutor.
Thank you for sharing! It helps me to know that I'm not the only one who gets sad when I look at old pictures of myself. I couldn't pinpoint the exact reason but what you said is it. I remember forcing myself to smile or look happy for the camera when my covert narcissistic mother was the one taking it. I was never happy around her, nor my dad, and most of my extended family on both sides.
🤗😢
Same, madusa mums are us!! All to play for 👍
poor dog, dogs have feelings too. sounds like she was mean to anyone smaller than her, what an abusive bully.
@@rukisar6312 I am so sorry for them both, the children and the dog. This is all too familiar for me:(
I thought I was the only one who had heavy emotions in the morning. It was worse on weekend and holiday mornings since the whole family was at home. Oh and Friday evenings too, it was my brain anticipating the stressful weekend, I realize. I don't get them as often since I started meditating and processing my emotions. I used to search "morning depression" on google and didn't really find anything useful. Thanks, Patrick.
I loved the example that you gave about telling your son the things you would do with him after school. I also started doing that with myself, like saying I'd cook a nice meal or phone a friend or relax in my bed and that made me feel better than I had woken up feeling. Your son is lucky to have you :)
I usually just wake up with that dread/anxious feeling without the actual thoughts yet.
Yes, i do, too. A feeling of pending doom i cant put my finger on, & i shake - it's like my nervous system is stuck on overdrive.
I have it too. It's because subconsciously we feel unsafe all of the time. We try to tell ourselves we are, but we don't feel it. The thoughts are only a symptom of the subconscious beliefs of unworthiness.
I often wake up in a panic with a racing heart beat. It feels like a very intense panic attack. I feel confused about where I am, and when I figure it out, I realize like "oh, okay, I'm alive", I then start to panic about how my day will go
I also experience this
If it is due to nightmares that is a ptsd symptom
Yup. Sometimes the "I'm alive" part is the heavy part, like..sigh..I have to keep going. Then quickly mentally download a very long list of all the things I have to do today and all the ways I can fail. I panic constantly in my dreams (often I'm getting attacked or pursued by predatory animals like bears or big cats), wake up panicked, stay awake until I pass out at night, repeat. I'm exhausted to my soul. I feel you on this.
It's a horrible cycle every single morning and throughout the day 😢
This happens to me too.