Thank you for reading again : ) And YESSSSSS!!! I love how unapologetic you are, men really need to be put in their place. the amount of boys in my stem classes that i have had to call out on their behavior is astounding. the audacity of men, never ceases to amaze. First time i successfully put a first gen man in his place, I felt unstoppable and set me up to not be afraid to stand up for myself when men are problematic. An addicting and valuable experience to say the least.
I saw a tiktok that started with "if men don't have a uterus, what do they have in their lower abdomen?" and the girl stitching it said "I'm actually studying human anatomy so I know the answer to this *holds up textbook* see this is where they store their upper intestine, lower intestine, and the FUCKING AUDACITY."
That's hilarious about "fucking audacity!" I was picking plums in my backyard and the 2 yards over my neighbor and the assistant manager were talking about a cute blond woman who walks by with her 4 kids periodically on the way to the park and, poor woman, she doesn't have a man... The asst mgr was like, "I'd take care of her!" And I was like, what is he talking about? He's dying of emphysema, he can hardly breathe! How could he possibly take care of a woman and 4 kids?! More like the reverse... And then my other neighbor was like, "Yeah...." And I was thinking, why would she want anything to do with his conspiracy theory, trash hoarding middle aged self who already has a partner? I couldn't believe how dissociated they were from reality! Oh, to be so obliviously confident! They say women have a harder time advancing in the workplace because while they're less confident about their obvious skills, male colleagues will be bragging and talking themselves up when they don't have half the skills they brag about.
Hello! I'm just going through your video series reading Heavenly Deception. I'm deeply grateful to you for sharing this book with your insights. However, I'm mainly commenting here to thank you for advocating for yourself in light of the problematic live chat comments. I greatly appreciate the content and demonstrated example of boundaries.
Faith, you do not have to make these videos if you're not in the mood, or if the live chat is being toxic, and I'm glad you stopped it. I appreciate you sharing your time and experiences. I don't know what causes otherwise mature, functional adults to turn into 13yr old mouth-breathing, belligerent, ignorant bullies.... but the rest of us don't have to take their shit. I'm sorry this happened, I'm pissed that assholes found you and made a bad mood worse. I hope you're out reclaiming your day, take care.
Oh my gosh.. Faith. I’m so sorry. I just finished watching your video. I’m sorry people are insensitive and don’t respect others. So you know, I watch every week because I DO care about what you have to say. I appreciate you reading and sharing. I hope you consider coming back to live stream when you are ready. You are loved ❤️
Thanks for being here today. Usually chats are full of side shitshows of people chatting with each other instead of actually paying attention to the video. I find chats kind of distracting and mostly ignore them. I think they're actually a bad idea for UA-cam, honestly. This is why people have admins monitoring the chats while the presenter makes the video, blocking people and dealing with trolls. I'm sure you're aware that it's possible that Church members are watching your videos and possibly trolling. I've been watching certain UA-camrs for years and at this point I wouldn't actually want a UA-cam platform because of all the maintenance of trolls and idiots, as well as the emotional roller coaster of putting yourself up before an anonymous audience and getting all kinds of whack feedback. You mentioned being frustrated with an ex-Moonie group on social media who still aren't doing the hard inner work... Truth be told, most people aren't very capable of doing the intelligent work you're doing. Social media can make you feel lonelier, ironically, when you discover that very few people seem to actually get what you're trying to convey, even often enough the well-meaners. When I started working on my codependency, I was shocked and scared of how many people I had to cut out of my life. What I started to learn from the process, though, was how much time I was wasting on the wrong people. A platform like UA-cam is difficult because you can't be doing a video while simultaneously wasting your time trying to sort out the "wrong" people who are detracting from what you're doing. At the same time, it can help sharpen your skills at cutting people out or "gray rock"ing.... I think this example of you trying to explain to them they're not being respectful is exactly reflecting the dynamic you were bringing up with this chapter- that arguing with people who are not actually having a debate "in good faith" (as I like to put it whenever I decide it's time to end an useless argument) is totally futile. I grew up learning to argue with my dad who was diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I got REALLY good at arguing- trying to convey my feelings or logic with more and more precise, incisive, descriptive, convincing language, as well as navigating the undercurrents of emotional context, assessing motivation, insecurities, etc.and undermining them psychologically. Like you, I actually enjoy it (which is a problem, because I'm drawn to taking narcissists down, and I'm good at getting under their skin). What I was missing in this whole equation was how much energy I was wasting on people who are not listening (narcissists bounce back quickly with their armor of self-delusion). I saw that come into focus when I started working on my codependency. The thing I am still trying to learn is how to invest my energy into the "right" people, because we need a group of authentic social support. Instead, I keep finding myself drifting towards trauma bonding. I feel like those who are not fucked up can't understand... Which is kind of true, but isolates me from healthier people. Reminds me of "The Turn of the Screw," actually, a surprisingly accurate Victorian novel on the subject of child molestation and how the children bonded to the ghosts of their adult abusers because the trauma and shame separated them psychologically from the kind governess who was trying to reach them. Well, it's all a process, one that we get better at with time and practice! You checked in with your feelings and made an executive decision to end some bullshit. You're on it :) You are always impressing me and I appreciate you taking the time to share your process with us every week.
Faith, I'm very sorry the way your reading went today, and I hope I had nothing to do with it. I feel the same as you about religion, and even though I wasn't in a cult, my mom was as crazy and religious as any cult leader. I'm damaged and have mild ptsd and some other shit too. I really relate to you a lot and pay attention to everything you're reading and talking about. I just wanted to give you a hug and tell you everything's gonna be alright and you're respected and appreciated for what you're doing and the way you think, and for your experience and what you've been through in life and everything else. There's ALWAYS gonna be assholes and guys who only follow you for your looks cause it's the internet and there's some lonely weirdos put there. You know about that much more than I ever could. I hope this didn't ruin your entire day. You know from my comments that I'm ACTUALLY listening to you and care about what you have to say, not what you look like. So there's people out there with no false pretenses or agendas who just want to hear what you're saying. I'm one of them. I'm going to go back and watch some of your old streams when I've got time too, because I know I want to see what you talk about, and you'll be teaching me things I didn't know I'm sure. I know I'm just some rando online, but I'm fucked up too and have been through a lot of suffering and can relate to you on deep levels, cause we both were hurt in similar yet different ways, and if you ever wanna message or talk things out, I'm here. It's often easier to talk about personal trauma with strangers than friends or family. It is for me. You can tell somebody some personal shit and never have to see them again if that's your desire. I can see how emotional you get while trying to get through that book, and I just want to hold you until you feel safe and secure. I recognize the look, because I also feel how you do when I reflect on the things that scarred me the worst. You can delete this comment if it's too personal or whatever, I just wanted you to know that at least one person really really sees you. We're kin folk in fucked up childhoods. My mom fucked me up inside. 🤣💯 I really hope you brushed this shit off and went about your life, I know exactly how you were feeling. 💔 Sending some ❤ your way. Whatever I can say so you know that I think you're a hella cool person and I think we'd be friends irl, without any type of sexuality anything involved.... that's what I'm saying. You're a great human being. Something like that. ✌
@@FaithY3n I was worried it was too much, it's all genuine. ✊ We all gotta lift each other up however we can, I'm 41 amd have been through shit my entire life, like it never gets better, but I have to fight that shit off just like you do, just for different reasons. Pain is pain, and I have too much empathy for it sometimes. 🤣 It's a blessing when it can help somebody in some way, no religion. 💀 I joke as a coping mechanism because I never really thought my parents loved me so I wanted ti make everyone laugh. I just realized that myself tripping out stoned late at night before bed. It was crazy to me. So it's gonna be a process... but you're gonna be fine. I can see you're strong. And I explained to Prop why you felt how you felt, because I know exactly why and how. Not a doubt in my mind. You're a real one, and I think you're doing what you're meant to do. Turn off the live chats if you have too, you shouldn't stop what you're doing though. People don't talk about their personal trauma and problems, stresses, insecurities etc..... and that's why we're all fucked up, at least a little. That's why the chat was how it was, when I can CLEARLY see how you're feeling the whole time, your heart is on your sleeve to me, to the point I can't even tell you what I see in a format like this because it's private I feel. That's why I'm telling you about me when I don't know you, so you know it's okay to feel how you feel and it's okay. I just don't want you to feel those things, because I remember. I cried tears for the first time in a long time that night because it hurt going back there, and then realizing I was a hurt little boy inside until my early 20s maybe.🤣 Fuck. You know? You do. The last time I cried before that was when I lost my foot. I been through a lot too. I'm glad you're open with what you've been through and appreciate you sharing what you've been thorough and your openness. ❤ If you ever need to talk to somebody who will understand you but you never have to meet you can hit up my dms on IG and I'll give you my email or number and we can message or whatever. I know it's easier for me to text about things than talk about them. It's Tenderlungs206 on IG too I'm pretty sure. There used to be dms on UA-cam too but I don't remember how to access it, I've just got messages from people before. 🤣🤷♂️ I hope you have a great weekend. I love your vibe with all the plants, nature always relaxes me.💯✌ Again, delete this if it's weird, I'm a talker. 💀⚰
Thank you for reading again : ) And YESSSSSS!!! I love how unapologetic you are, men really need to be put in their place. the amount of boys in my stem classes that i have had to call out on their behavior is astounding. the audacity of men, never ceases to amaze. First time i successfully put a first gen man in his place, I felt unstoppable and set me up to not be afraid to stand up for myself when men are problematic. An addicting and valuable experience to say the least.
I saw a tiktok that started with "if men don't have a uterus, what do they have in their lower abdomen?" and the girl stitching it said "I'm actually studying human anatomy so I know the answer to this *holds up textbook* see this is where they store their upper intestine, lower intestine, and the FUCKING AUDACITY."
@@FaithY3n I live for TikTok!
That's hilarious about "fucking audacity!" I was picking plums in my backyard and the 2 yards over my neighbor and the assistant manager were talking about a cute blond woman who walks by with her 4 kids periodically on the way to the park and, poor woman, she doesn't have a man... The asst mgr was like, "I'd take care of her!" And I was like, what is he talking about? He's dying of emphysema, he can hardly breathe! How could he possibly take care of a woman and 4 kids?! More like the reverse... And then my other neighbor was like, "Yeah...." And I was thinking, why would she want anything to do with his conspiracy theory, trash hoarding middle aged self who already has a partner? I couldn't believe how dissociated they were from reality! Oh, to be so obliviously confident! They say women have a harder time advancing in the workplace because while they're less confident about their obvious skills, male colleagues will be bragging and talking themselves up when they don't have half the skills they brag about.
Hello! I'm just going through your video series reading Heavenly Deception. I'm deeply grateful to you for sharing this book with your insights. However, I'm mainly commenting here to thank you for advocating for yourself in light of the problematic live chat comments. I greatly appreciate the content and demonstrated example of boundaries.
thanks for watching! i appreciate this feedback so much 🥰 (also, HI first name twin!!)
@@FaithY3n haha Yeah, I feel your pain from all the puns. Do people often serenade you with George Michael too?
@@faithkarklin3434 yeeessssssssss that or the Limp Bizkit cover
@@FaithY3n My condolences haha
Faith, you do not have to make these videos if you're not in the mood, or if the live chat is being toxic, and I'm glad you stopped it. I appreciate you sharing your time and experiences. I don't know what causes otherwise mature, functional adults to turn into 13yr old mouth-breathing, belligerent, ignorant bullies.... but the rest of us don't have to take their shit. I'm sorry this happened, I'm pissed that assholes found you and made a bad mood worse. I hope you're out reclaiming your day, take care.
thanks Katie, I learned a lot from the emotions of yesterday and today. I'll be alright 🥰
Oh my gosh.. Faith. I’m so sorry. I just finished watching your video. I’m sorry people are insensitive and don’t respect others. So you know, I watch every week because I DO care about what you have to say. I appreciate you reading and sharing. I hope you consider coming back to live stream when you are ready. You are loved ❤️
Thanks so much Emi 🤍
Thanks for being here today. Usually chats are full of side shitshows of people chatting with each other instead of actually paying attention to the video. I find chats kind of distracting and mostly ignore them. I think they're actually a bad idea for UA-cam, honestly. This is why people have admins monitoring the chats while the presenter makes the video, blocking people and dealing with trolls. I'm sure you're aware that it's possible that Church members are watching your videos and possibly trolling. I've been watching certain UA-camrs for years and at this point I wouldn't actually want a UA-cam platform because of all the maintenance of trolls and idiots, as well as the emotional roller coaster of putting yourself up before an anonymous audience and getting all kinds of whack feedback. You mentioned being frustrated with an ex-Moonie group on social media who still aren't doing the hard inner work... Truth be told, most people aren't very capable of doing the intelligent work you're doing. Social media can make you feel lonelier, ironically, when you discover that very few people seem to actually get what you're trying to convey, even often enough the well-meaners. When I started working on my codependency, I was shocked and scared of how many people I had to cut out of my life. What I started to learn from the process, though, was how much time I was wasting on the wrong people. A platform like UA-cam is difficult because you can't be doing a video while simultaneously wasting your time trying to sort out the "wrong" people who are detracting from what you're doing. At the same time, it can help sharpen your skills at cutting people out or "gray rock"ing....
I think this example of you trying to explain to them they're not being respectful is exactly reflecting the dynamic you were bringing up with this chapter- that arguing with people who are not actually having a debate "in good faith" (as I like to put it whenever I decide it's time to end an useless argument) is totally futile. I grew up learning to argue with my dad who was diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I got REALLY good at arguing- trying to convey my feelings or logic with more and more precise, incisive, descriptive, convincing language, as well as navigating the undercurrents of emotional context, assessing motivation, insecurities, etc.and undermining them psychologically. Like you, I actually enjoy it (which is a problem, because I'm drawn to taking narcissists down, and I'm good at getting under their skin). What I was missing in this whole equation was how much energy I was wasting on people who are not listening (narcissists bounce back quickly with their armor of self-delusion). I saw that come into focus when I started working on my codependency. The thing I am still trying to learn is how to invest my energy into the "right" people, because we need a group of authentic social support. Instead, I keep finding myself drifting towards trauma bonding. I feel like those who are not fucked up can't understand... Which is kind of true, but isolates me from healthier people. Reminds me of "The Turn of the Screw," actually, a surprisingly accurate Victorian novel on the subject of child molestation and how the children bonded to the ghosts of their adult abusers because the trauma and shame separated them psychologically from the kind governess who was trying to reach them. Well, it's all a process, one that we get better at with time and practice! You checked in with your feelings and made an executive decision to end some bullshit. You're on it :) You are always impressing me and I appreciate you taking the time to share your process with us every week.
Appreciate you! always looking forward to your 2 cents
@@FaithY3n Oh, and thanks for standing up for fat people :)
My father worked for the Washington Times… heavy sigh
I feel for ya 😭
Faith, I'm very sorry the way your reading went today, and I hope I had nothing to do with it. I feel the same as you about religion, and even though I wasn't in a cult, my mom was as crazy and religious as any cult leader. I'm damaged and have mild ptsd and some other shit too. I really relate to you a lot and pay attention to everything you're reading and talking about. I just wanted to give you a hug and tell you everything's gonna be alright and you're respected and appreciated for what you're doing and the way you think, and for your experience and what you've been through in life and everything else. There's ALWAYS gonna be assholes and guys who only follow you for your looks cause it's the internet and there's some lonely weirdos put there. You know about that much more than I ever could. I hope this didn't ruin your entire day. You know from my comments that I'm ACTUALLY listening to you and care about what you have to say, not what you look like. So there's people out there with no false pretenses or agendas who just want to hear what you're saying. I'm one of them. I'm going to go back and watch some of your old streams when I've got time too, because I know I want to see what you talk about, and you'll be teaching me things I didn't know I'm sure. I know I'm just some rando online, but I'm fucked up too and have been through a lot of suffering and can relate to you on deep levels, cause we both were hurt in similar yet different ways, and if you ever wanna message or talk things out, I'm here. It's often easier to talk about personal trauma with strangers than friends or family. It is for me. You can tell somebody some personal shit and never have to see them again if that's your desire. I can see how emotional you get while trying to get through that book, and I just want to hold you until you feel safe and secure. I recognize the look, because I also feel how you do when I reflect on the things that scarred me the worst. You can delete this comment if it's too personal or whatever, I just wanted you to know that at least one person really really sees you. We're kin folk in fucked up childhoods. My mom fucked me up inside. 🤣💯 I really hope you brushed this shit off and went about your life, I know exactly how you were feeling. 💔 Sending some ❤ your way. Whatever I can say so you know that I think you're a hella cool person and I think we'd be friends irl, without any type of sexuality anything involved.... that's what I'm saying. You're a great human being. Something like that. ✌
Thanks bro, I appreciate it
@@FaithY3n I was worried it was too much, it's all genuine. ✊ We all gotta lift each other up however we can, I'm 41 amd have been through shit my entire life, like it never gets better, but I have to fight that shit off just like you do, just for different reasons. Pain is pain, and I have too much empathy for it sometimes. 🤣 It's a blessing when it can help somebody in some way, no religion. 💀 I joke as a coping mechanism because I never really thought my parents loved me so I wanted ti make everyone laugh. I just realized that myself tripping out stoned late at night before bed. It was crazy to me. So it's gonna be a process... but you're gonna be fine. I can see you're strong. And I explained to Prop why you felt how you felt, because I know exactly why and how. Not a doubt in my mind. You're a real one, and I think you're doing what you're meant to do. Turn off the live chats if you have too, you shouldn't stop what you're doing though. People don't talk about their personal trauma and problems, stresses, insecurities etc..... and that's why we're all fucked up, at least a little. That's why the chat was how it was, when I can CLEARLY see how you're feeling the whole time, your heart is on your sleeve to me, to the point I can't even tell you what I see in a format like this because it's private I feel. That's why I'm telling you about me when I don't know you, so you know it's okay to feel how you feel and it's okay. I just don't want you to feel those things, because I remember. I cried tears for the first time in a long time that night because it hurt going back there, and then realizing I was a hurt little boy inside until my early 20s maybe.🤣 Fuck. You know? You do. The last time I cried before that was when I lost my foot. I been through a lot too. I'm glad you're open with what you've been through and appreciate you sharing what you've been thorough and your openness. ❤ If you ever need to talk to somebody who will understand you but you never have to meet you can hit up my dms on IG and I'll give you my email or number and we can message or whatever. I know it's easier for me to text about things than talk about them. It's Tenderlungs206 on IG too I'm pretty sure. There used to be dms on UA-cam too but I don't remember how to access it, I've just got messages from people before. 🤣🤷♂️ I hope you have a great weekend. I love your vibe with all the plants, nature always relaxes me.💯✌ Again, delete this if it's weird, I'm a talker. 💀⚰