Mock The Week: Milton Jones Scenes We'd Like To See

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  • Опубліковано 9 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 145

  • @maggiemassey5452
    @maggiemassey5452 Рік тому +49

    He is absolutely brilliant, no need for filth just super comedy.

  • @AngelicusImmortus
    @AngelicusImmortus 3 роки тому +380

    Dara O’Brien once said that Milton is the most edited guy on there as his lines cause the others to laugh so much they have to edit out chunks of time where it’s just the audience and the other comedians giggling like kids.

  • @davidyoung5114
    @davidyoung5114 11 місяців тому +28

    I would love to see Milton on TASKMASTER! He'd have the Taskmaster, the other contestants, and the audience in stitches all the time!

  • @AngelicusImmortus
    @AngelicusImmortus 3 роки тому +176

    He is the current genius of one line, absurd, surreal comedy. It does take a special talent to come up with that stuff and ignore the generic stuff others come out with. No knob gags, no easy lines, just pure “weird” stuff.

    • @StanleypeterDickinson
      @StanleypeterDickinson 7 місяців тому

      It doesn't work for me.
      I'm retired and my bike was stollen outside the cake shop

  • @jimothy1967
    @jimothy1967 Рік тому +25

    The one comedian whose line you can’t wait for! Genius.

  • @donmontague4107
    @donmontague4107 2 роки тому +42

    Oh my. The fricking LEVEL that he's consistently delivering these lines at! That's superb. And for most/all of them to be clean jokes, that's what the best are made of.

  • @kvn4714
    @kvn4714 5 років тому +236

    "How's your lucky pencil case now" 😂

    • @abbaslegend9214
      @abbaslegend9214 4 роки тому +10

      7:06 😂😂

    • @changvasejarik62
      @changvasejarik62 Рік тому +3

      To ye more mathetically minded reading this.
      Was that a legit question/ question fragment?

    • @ElegantSpud
      @ElegantSpud Рік тому +2

      I about soiled my dungarees the first time I saw that one. Still cracks me up every time I see it. Brilliant.

    • @magneticman245
      @magneticman245 4 місяці тому +1

      ​@@changvasejarik62 it doesn't make much sense to be honest, it's just a lot of math-sounding words put together to sound intimidating.

  • @TheUntitled100
    @TheUntitled100 3 роки тому +67

    "Look! An ancient African city!" "From the makers of Timbuk One..."

    • @RitchieLion
      @RitchieLion 3 роки тому +8

      "It looks like a runner bean, only smaller"
      "From the makers of Mange One..."

    • @bashirlone624
      @bashirlone624 11 місяців тому

      Is it a part of a trilogy...

    • @terranceparsons5185
      @terranceparsons5185 11 місяців тому +2

      ​@@bashirlone624the third one was from the makers of Cocka One.

  • @plugh1
    @plugh1 3 роки тому +50

    Miltons miind works in strange but hilarious ways. Genius

  • @kenmannagh7788
    @kenmannagh7788 3 роки тому +18

    Clean as a whistle and the best because of it ....genius Milton rave on .

  • @3QuaNiMiTyy
    @3QuaNiMiTyy 4 роки тому +265

    He's certainly unique. Some real absurdist type stuff at points.

    • @katherinewolfe
      @katherinewolfe 3 роки тому +6

      "I am the Messiah - and the Queen is a biscuit!" and then swimming off the stage is the weirdest, funniest thing I've seen since Robin Williams died.

    • @applejuice5272
      @applejuice5272 3 роки тому

      @@katherinewolfe "I think that was a floating voter."

    • @jeanmichellelaurent
      @jeanmichellelaurent 2 роки тому +1

      Like he's not an edgy low brow comedian but I love his goofy British wit

    • @kippertrace5808
      @kippertrace5808 4 місяці тому

      ​@@katherinewolfeRobin williams dying wasn't funny😮
      😅😅

  • @simonbiggs9102
    @simonbiggs9102 2 роки тому +17

    Can listen to him day and night.

  • @kennyhagan5781
    @kennyhagan5781 6 місяців тому +2

    How is it possible that this man isn't a huge star? He is the reason that I started watching the show.

  • @ukdavepianoman
    @ukdavepianoman 3 роки тому +17

    Absolute genius. I love the train joke...I know a short cut.

  • @CatGirlClare
    @CatGirlClare Рік тому +4

    Just love - Baby tennis umpires sitting in their highchairs, shouting Deuce, deuce!!

  • @rustkarl
    @rustkarl 3 роки тому +22

    Ahhh Milton.
    The strangest source of laughs I have had the pleasure of being immensely amused by.

  • @HarryNicNicholas
    @HarryNicNicholas 3 роки тому +8

    "they taste luggagey" lolol.

  • @RIXRADvidz
    @RIXRADvidz 3 роки тому +12

    He really brings out my Roaring Laughter

  • @eamonquinn5188
    @eamonquinn5188 3 роки тому +22

    I think the luggagy sushi is maybe my favourite ever joke!

    • @noeldarby1635
      @noeldarby1635 3 роки тому +1

      My fave is stew francis......'when I was a cop I worked undercover as a pimp,a punter wanted a 3some with menstruating woman......so I err pulled a few strings ' belter !!

  • @georgelamb1236
    @georgelamb1236 2 роки тому +7

    He's a bloody genius!

  • @kennyhagan5781
    @kennyhagan5781 3 роки тому +31

    This guy does it without using a lot of cursing and innuendos. He is brilliant.... and those shirts, the British should consider his wardrobe a national treasure. 🏆

  • @MagiTailWelkin
    @MagiTailWelkin 5 років тому +80

    1:35 I am almost certain, that was a floating voter.

    • @OldGravy2005
      @OldGravy2005 4 роки тому +7

      They shouldn’t have cut that out!

  • @paulcrombie9623
    @paulcrombie9623 3 роки тому +14

    I love Milton, he is the best, so funny!

  • @aaroncurtis8768
    @aaroncurtis8768 5 років тому +51

    Watching this guy made me laugh so hard i nearly peed myself.absolute genius he is with his one limer jokes

  • @invaderzim7890
    @invaderzim7890 4 роки тому +97

    Would have been better if you put the topic up before Milton's bit.

  • @markt1387
    @markt1387 Рік тому +6

    Milton's a genius and love the occasional really dark jokes that really catches you off guard.

  • @isabella-cg1co
    @isabella-cg1co 4 роки тому +110

    You missed out. “Anyone can cook this. You can’t Beatrice. Sorry you can’t beat rice” and “Ve in ze german city of cologne haf a fragrance called Birmingham” but the ones you included are AMAZING

    • @kylestubbs8867
      @kylestubbs8867 3 роки тому +2

      This is part 1. Check the others.

    • @johnsupernaw7290
      @johnsupernaw7290 3 роки тому +9

      "You can't beat rice" is one of the absolute best jokes I have ever heard in my entire 54 years. That one isn't gold - its platinum.

    • @VinnySlouth
      @VinnySlouth Рік тому +1

      @@johnsupernaw7290 According to the latest list I'd say 3 tons of Rhodium, and his befuddled walk off clinches it!
      Rhodium (Rh) - $15,250/troy ounce.
      Iridium (Ir) - $4,750/troy ounce.
      Palladium (Pd) - $2,027/troy ounce.
      Gold (Au) - $1,723.55/troy ounce.
      Platinum - $889/troy ounce.

  • @nedim_guitar
    @nedim_guitar 4 роки тому +28

    I would love to see this man in a star role in a movie!

    • @RossHall-UK
      @RossHall-UK 3 роки тому +4

      He's done some Radio 4 shows worth looking out for. 30 minute adventures which are as batty as you can imagine.

    • @nedim_guitar
      @nedim_guitar 3 роки тому +2

      @@RossHall-UK Thanks!

    • @changvasejarik62
      @changvasejarik62 6 місяців тому

      If there must be a Loki season 3 I want to see Milton play a variant.

  • @j-simmo1881
    @j-simmo1881 4 роки тому +13

    Him and Gary Delaney are the best

  • @maccajft96ynwa97
    @maccajft96ynwa97 4 роки тому +18

    Hi my names sue barker, you may remember my dad, chew barker what a joke what a comedian.

  • @jeanniehelliwell1599
    @jeanniehelliwell1599 3 роки тому +11

    Oy Milton leave Aussies alone! 🤣🤣🇦🇺🥰

    • @donmontague4107
      @donmontague4107 2 роки тому

      Isn't it the Aussies who should leave us alone... the point is there are bloody masses of them - most of whom compete with the natives in the service industry.

    • @HundertTausand
      @HundertTausand 10 місяців тому

      Ozzy Ozzy Ozzy!!!

  • @oludotunjohnshowemimo434
    @oludotunjohnshowemimo434 11 місяців тому +4

    Simple one liners but yet funny. Milton is so quick whitted.

  • @FaceInTheCrowd
    @FaceInTheCrowd 3 роки тому +15

    2:54 🤣 I really shouldn't watch Mock The Week while eating breakfast!

  • @georgenewman7179
    @georgenewman7179 2 місяці тому

    I love the lighthouse trilogy, absolutely brilliant.

  • @jackevans1318
    @jackevans1318 3 роки тому +6

    I love the joke about how he lost control of a bus 🤣

  • @dez3540
    @dez3540 5 років тому +94

    The Dalmations one was absolute savage lmao

  • @nostalgiaof98
    @nostalgiaof98 2 роки тому +7

    His style is very old school like Marty Feldman or such. Very witty and unique.
    I wonder what the show would've been like if Eric Morcambe or John Cleese was on

  • @Spitfyre1011
    @Spitfyre1011 Рік тому +2

    4:50 i love how it abruptly cuts off Andy Parsons

    • @daruddock
      @daruddock 10 місяців тому

      Should be the standard for every show

  • @noir-214
    @noir-214 11 місяців тому +1

    "Look an ancient African city from the makers of Timbuk one...."😂😂😂

  • @erinobrien8408
    @erinobrien8408 3 роки тому +4

    Milton's 🎶 destiny is to be the King of Pun! 🎶

  • @barrywallace2744
    @barrywallace2744 4 роки тому +54

    I really think you should of left in Hugh's retort to Milton's The queen is a biscuit joke.

    • @toucheturtle...6547
      @toucheturtle...6547 3 роки тому +11

      Floating voter

    • @crazyman8472
      @crazyman8472 3 роки тому +8

      @@toucheturtle...6547 Even Milton laughed at that one! 😜

    • @changvasejarik62
      @changvasejarik62 6 місяців тому

      Probably should have the magic biscuit tree lines as well.

  • @crazyman8472
    @crazyman8472 2 роки тому +8

    4:52 “This is Fox News…” Oh, if only it was. 😜

  • @KevinNerfs
    @KevinNerfs Рік тому +4

    1:38 It’s too bad you cut out Hugh’s response because it was the perfect complement to Milton’s joke.

  • @jestermoon
    @jestermoon 2 роки тому +3

    A genius who got me where I am today.
    Does anybody know where I am?

  • @steven9562
    @steven9562 Рік тому +1

    Psml every time I watch milton

  • @Shmiguelly
    @Shmiguelly 4 роки тому +13

    11:33 Hi Josh

  • @flavoredchin
    @flavoredchin 4 роки тому +23

    4:52
    An age old question, finally put to rest.

  • @ALostExplorer
    @ALostExplorer Рік тому +8

    The moment I heard that ‘they say criminals always return to the scene of the crime’ joke, I knew we were off to the races. Easily one my favorite contestants on MTW

  • @davidjohnmcclements7455
    @davidjohnmcclements7455 4 роки тому +13

    I used to drink strongbow with my mate dave and he was killed by an arrow 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @wonderwend
    @wonderwend 3 роки тому +2

    I want to see his shirt collection

  • @spudwesth
    @spudwesth 7 місяців тому +1

    Milton went to the store to buy some Beyond Meat. He found out that the cows were from Alpha Centauri.

  • @MrZee48
    @MrZee48 2 місяці тому

    Milton the Great

  • @VinnySlouth
    @VinnySlouth Рік тому +1

    DNA is in his humor because, Humor is in his DNA, which isn't easy with letters like ACGT.

  • @lgba384
    @lgba384 4 роки тому +8

    A biscuit 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @dillonjohn8549
    @dillonjohn8549 8 місяців тому +3

    People like Milton Jones and Tim Vine are proof that swearing doesn't always equal funny.

  • @BigBoris
    @BigBoris 3 роки тому +1

    Weird humour, I love it.

  • @nedlongdon8607
    @nedlongdon8607 4 роки тому +21

    MEN 3:55

  • @pauldockree9915
    @pauldockree9915 Рік тому +1

    (Lighthouse in the tempest question mark)
    DNA!

  • @JB-vq6xv
    @JB-vq6xv 2 роки тому +4

    3:56

  • @bcowan1943
    @bcowan1943 8 місяців тому

    Love him🤣🖖

  • @emporioalnino4670
    @emporioalnino4670 3 роки тому +7

    Welcome to the bakery

  • @camerondempster4147
    @camerondempster4147 3 роки тому +11

    I pity the other comedians. Not matter how good their jokes are
    It's tough keeping up with the Jones's.

  • @JB-vq6xv
    @JB-vq6xv 2 роки тому +3

    13:00

  • @Laudon1228
    @Laudon1228 3 роки тому +3

    Is that a terrible flan or a really good quiche?

  • @mrbenoit5018
    @mrbenoit5018 Рік тому +3

    8:20 why’s he so fast

  • @Maximillian-Tiberius-Rex
    @Maximillian-Tiberius-Rex 3 роки тому +6

    turn the lights out she said.. what about the boats said the lighthouse keeper

    • @ElegantSpud
      @ElegantSpud Рік тому

      That whole run of lighthouse jokes was utterly brilliant. His delivery is so perfect.

  • @IamKlaus007
    @IamKlaus007 9 місяців тому

    Tricky, isn't it, when you're the captain of a ship and a moth. You see a lighthouse. You know you shouldn't, BUT.....

  • @lloydgriffiths1847
    @lloydgriffiths1847 Рік тому +3

    the umpire high chair joke was the biggest brain joke I’ve heard

  • @RighteousPursuitMinistries
    @RighteousPursuitMinistries Рік тому +1

    Well the Kiev joke sure hasn't aged well

  • @robertrickwood8896
    @robertrickwood8896 2 роки тому +3

    The dna joke is 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @weebrianful
    @weebrianful Рік тому

    Genius

  • @javeedsultan8484
    @javeedsultan8484 3 роки тому +6

    The man is genius, on par with Steven Wright and Emo Philips

  • @JB-vq6xv
    @JB-vq6xv 2 роки тому +2

    12:22

  • @JamesSullivan-c8f
    @JamesSullivan-c8f Рік тому +3

    "Women divers" 😆😆😆

  • @atifmanzoor63
    @atifmanzoor63 Рік тому +2

    Milton reminds of of Lionel Messi

  • @bip3937
    @bip3937 4 роки тому +5

    Pencil case joke?

  • @amanekabbaj
    @amanekabbaj 5 років тому +8

    What was the sushi one? It was a bit muffled

    • @jamessteers4214
      @jamessteers4214 5 років тому +7

      Sushi is served on a moving conveyor belt in sushi restaurants. The luggage reclaim at airports also has moving conveyor belts. The guy mistook the baggage reclaim for the sushi conveyor belt.

    • @ChallengeCommander
      @ChallengeCommander 4 роки тому +8

      It certainly was a slow burner for Dara

    • @paulshubsachs4977
      @paulshubsachs4977 3 роки тому +1

      @@ChallengeCommander .....but, if you knew sushi like I know sushi....

  • @heli-crewhgs5285
    @heli-crewhgs5285 2 роки тому +3

    It was so good to see Russell Howard….. say nothing!

    • @davesmith9325
      @davesmith9325 Рік тому +1

      Even better we didnt see nish kumar at all

  • @paperchain1239
    @paperchain1239 3 роки тому +4

    Milton would be a really cool guy to be married to.....

    • @janel342
      @janel342 3 роки тому +2

      Only if you wear shades at breakfast

  • @tomharrison1849
    @tomharrison1849 2 роки тому +1

    Can anyone explain the sausage joke?

    • @changvasejarik62
      @changvasejarik62 Рік тому +1

      10:13 it involves a sausage mascot from Lincolnshire used in the Olympics that looks like Dara.

  • @michaelangus5602
    @michaelangus5602 3 роки тому +1

    WeLcOmE To ThE BaKeRy

  • @koleberdinoch926
    @koleberdinoch926 6 місяців тому

    Lots of commenters are pleased there's no swearing or filth. Milton is hilarious but so is Jimmy Carr. Filth CAN be funny.

  • @changvasejarik62
    @changvasejarik62 Рік тому +2

    Frankie may have been the best, but Milton got just as many if not more laughs out of me with his absurd humor.
    I nominate him to be next cyberman king.

  • @mistyj9578
    @mistyj9578 3 роки тому +1

    pml lol omg ... x hahaha

  • @pauldockree9915
    @pauldockree9915 Рік тому

    What's the bleedin' time? 11 minutes 40 Seconds was booked. This s light wee Kari never goes out.

  • @crashingdown6924
    @crashingdown6924 5 років тому +3

    Waiting for first jenny joke...

  • @tweedlio2763
    @tweedlio2763 Рік тому +1

    8:13 yhey do taste like a??

  • @highdownmartin
    @highdownmartin Рік тому +1

    Not bad at accents either

  • @malcolmdale9607
    @malcolmdale9607 8 місяців тому +1

    Other "comedians" should learn that you don't have to be obscene to be funny.

  • @xSyresi
    @xSyresi 5 років тому +2

    H

  • @edwardkinsey5680
    @edwardkinsey5680 5 років тому +12

    First

  • @ZATennisFan
    @ZATennisFan Рік тому

    Only one objection. Steffi Graf didn’t have huge biceps🤣🤣In fact she had one of the best bodies I’ve ever seen especially the legs….

  • @ebola1974
    @ebola1974 Рік тому

    I loved him on MTW, so went to see him live. Awful. Worst stand up I’ve seen

    • @ElegantSpud
      @ElegantSpud Рік тому

      What was bad about it?

    • @ebola1974
      @ebola1974 Рік тому

      @@ElegantSpud A lot of the jokes were ones he had said before on MTW, so obviously his jokes on that were not thought up on the spot and the standup routine just didn't seem to flow. I was really disappointed and so was the wife as we found him to be really funny on MTW

  • @beeble2003
    @beeble2003 3 роки тому

    Wow, that New Orleans joke was in spectacularly bad taste. But the rest was amazing, as always.

  • @rootpotato
    @rootpotato 3 роки тому +2

    Milton Jones gives me the creeps . . . It's only a matter of time before everyone finds out what he's done!

  • @ElegantSpud
    @ElegantSpud Рік тому +4

    No one does surreal humor like Milton. The guy is a comic genius. I wonder what his dreams are like.