I never felt hope or had a strategic plan that I would ever improve. Never had any shared understanding of what goals i was working towards. Simply felt I was talking and talking endlessly without improving.
same here as you hear there cash register go ching ching lol i can laugh to as their screwing medicaid think the racquet should be investigated for fraud.
samee. all 3 of my therapists have sucked, but at least my first therapist had clear understandable goals with me. but my last two were awful about that and directionless, especially my last. I just felt like I only had sessions with him just to vent about my problems then turn around and get even more abused and manipulated than I already have been in my life and that sucks
Therapists who either have poor self awareness of their own issues or bias that leak into sessions- also some therapists haven’t addressed their own issues or trauma and become reactive to hearing clients who discuss similar issues in their own lives; another big one I’ve read so many have experienced is therapists w an ego, so therapists who react harshly negative if you dare question their understanding of something you’ve experienced
Once a therapist told me I shouldn't be surprised that I have a depressive episode as I don't engage in any competitive sports. Another one asked me how he can find a decent kindergarten for his child when I was there to talk about the death of three family members. Another one just switched to calling me by my first name. Another one was so offended when I told him that I got anxious when he said even the emergency ward of the mental hospital doesn't want to get calls on holidays. One asked me what my goals are, when I told her, she said that made no sense and I should come up with other goals and email them to her. She refused to give me a follow up appointment. It's ridiculous what is going on out there.
@@MomoSimone22 That's a cultural & language issue. Where I live there is a formal and an informal way to address people. The rules might be difficult for foreigners but are clear to native speakers. Calling someone by their first name and with the informal personal pronoun is not common in a therapy situation, at least not without setting the rules first. It has a lot to do with respect, the kind of attachment, bond or relationship you have with a person.
Worst thing I ever had a therapist say to me was that I was too much of a liability for her to take on due to having passive suicidal ideations. It was when I was at my lowest. She was so judgmental. I reported her.
My therapist prepared her dinner then sat down and ate it during our session. She was a bully also. She blamed me for everything. Not in a take responsibility way....in an it's your fault way. I don't know who's training these people...but we are in a therapy crisis. Most of them are nuts.
I tried 2 therapists this year: in February and June / July, both times they just let me speak with zero feedback or intervention, the second one explicitely refused when i asked. Both got annoyed when i expressed doubts about how sessions were going, no question about it, no suggestion of a new approach, no referral. I stopped seeing both after 3 sessions. Now i am starting to roll my eyes interiorly when thinking about "therapy" and "therapists"
My first therapist used to drink huge starbucks drinks, and would offer me water. My second therapist, when i told him that i have suici... thoughts, asked me if i'm aware that there is a legal way to off myself. (Assisted suici..). It was like a punch to the stomach and made me feel bad for days after, so bad, that i had to be hospitalized in the psych ward. I lost my friend to suici..
I feel like I only see a therapist when I'm in crisis. I'm fairly sane until I start dating someone. Recently, I've decided that I'm happiest being single and not dating. I feel like my therapist is someone that I can talk to, but that's about it. I don't feel completely safe or trusting with anyone. I have been in and out of therapy for most of my adult life. This therapist is #7.
i told my old therapist that when i have sh urges i play solitare on my phone until they stop and she said that i should stop doing that because its bad to look at your phone. it was the only coping mechanism i had at the time so i started to sh again
and those unfit lard asses couldn't make it thru police academy or the military even going in as an officer with their useless Masters of Mayhem degree
my ex-therapist had several red flags. She was judgemental at times - she claimed that all my relations were shallow. While I told her that it's not actually true and that I feel judged by this term (let's be honest, shallow is a pejorative adjective), she replied that it's actually a me problem. She did not believe in my ADHD, and I got an interpretation of my typical adhd behavior as something that my subconsciousness was doing to sabotage my therapy. I wasn't getting better for half a year - moreover, after almost each session I felt bad and unstable for a day or two. I have probably CPTSD as my childhood was filled with violence. She decided to induce my anger so I could work with it. And when she succeeded, she called it aggression and said she was afraid of it. All while aggressive caregivers gave me trauma and she knew it. And I never behaved aggressively. When I decided that enough was enough, she said it was just me acting out, and during the last 20 min of the last session, she said that I might or might not have ADHD (I was in the process of diagnosis by then), but she diagnosed me with BPD. She never mentioned it before. Oh, and she claimed that my last breakup (a guy ghosted me after several months of a relationship) was actually my fault.
Hah I (a therapist in training) was once told by a fully qualified therapist, that I was ‘too broken to be fixed’ and that, her words ‘I’m a narcissist so you’re probably one too’, and then shouted at me to stop therapising myself lol. But yes, a therapy experience should be uncomfortable or challenging your perspective. A therapist should be working their way OUT of your life, teaching you the skills so you don’t need them anymore. If they’re not doing that - discuss the lack of progress and ask. This is a great video - wish more people saw it. I once had to do a harshly worded intervention on a highly sensitive subject. It deeply affected the client, and they were soon ported out to a specialist they were waiting on, but they came back for one session a year later to say how fundamentally it’d changed their life. They were hurt at the time, but in hindsight, it was the new idea they needed to kickstart massive positive life changes. It’s why discussing WHY the therapist said something is so useful, but also why it should feel uncomfortable.
Would you say that harshly worded intervention you did on the highly sensitive topic can be seen as good progress for a client regardless of the hurt they experienced at the time? What would be an example of this? I'm not a certified therapist but I'd like to know more about this!
I'm so sorry for everyone who had terrible experiences with their therapist.... I'm reading all these comments and it hurts my heart that these therapist have no emotional maturity... I am thinking of becoming a therapist myself but the last thing I want to do is hurt someone with my words/actions... and now I'm really scared that I will
don't be worried, darling. the fact that you even have this awareness and drive to be a good therapist in and of itself shows that you'll do great. I'm the same, I've wanted to be an art therapist for years and after horrible experiences with therapists after that, I still want to be one to treat my future clients better than I've been treated
I once had a therapist I was required to see due to voch rehab. I had depression and suffered from emotional abuse all my life .She was really weird. She never believed a word i told her and would argue with me that depression wasn’t my problem . She seemed to have misdiagnosed me and had her own narrative and believed I had some syndrome or issues that I didn’t relate to in anyway. Every time I attempted to open up to her, which was difficult for me she would strongly assert that I was wrong and that wasn’t my problem. I was required to see her and they wouldn’t allow me to switch. I’ve never done this before or since ,but since every single word I’d say , she would tell me that wasn’t me talking, i was lying I just had to sit there not saying anything for the whole session. Thankfully , I was graduating from college soon ,and only had to sit quietly through a few months. I can’t believe this woman gets by with this! I have a wonderful therapist now and I’m doing very well with her.
How about when you feel like your therapist is just intrigued by you, like, they are entertained by you and you just end up shooting the breeze all the time and not really working on anything long term?
I started therapy & ended it because I was going through a habitual intruder vandalizing my senior apartment & I was frightened & she replied Id have to see it to believe it & I told her their are Police reports & so invalidating & I told her I cant believe your a certified counselor & I never went back!!
I've had so many bad therapist I feel that no one will believe me. But when you are disabled and live in a low income area it can be pretty bad. I had a therapist during Covid that did a phone session and I could hear a man's voice in the background. When I asked her about it she screamed at me. Another one would walk around her room while in telehealth appoint. She'd look through her drawers for something. And then she seemed like she was high or drunk. Slurring her words, and then nodding off. And there were others. Thank you for posting this because it really does a number to have people do this to you and no one seems to care. Thanks again!
Oh my goodness, I'm appalled at the level of unethical and inappropriate behaviour people are experiencing with some therapists. I'm a private counsellor in New Zealand, and from my perspective you are spot on.
Thanks for the great video! I have been a clinical psychologist and CBT therapist for 12 years. I watched your video because I wanted to "face" my possible mistakes. You picked up very useful and real points. I have heard a lot of these from my own clients about other therapists. Thank you for the opportunity, it confirmed that I have not made any big mistakes so far (just some small ones that could be corrected). It also helped me with what I need to look out for in the future. 😌
My current therapist is the first genuinely good therapist I've had in 13 years of searching. But one of my old therapists would just ask if I'm okay and end the session at that.. literally less than 5 minutes it was crazy
CBT definitely does not work for me, I’m neurodivergent and have childhood trauma I’m working through. We gotta mostly focus on that, get to my mindset after. Now that I’ve been in therapy for a while with a therapist I trust and have a good relationship with, I definitely do work on my mindset more, but that’s after years of working through my trauma and all its complexities. I’ve definitely experienced being blamed for my own issues. My first therapist did that. My second therapist parentified me (I was a child when I went to see her). She was trying to get me to manage my dad and his anger issues (raging) in ways that were completely unhealthy for a nine-year-old. This ended up being pretty traumatic for me and I actually have had to spend sessions in therapy nowadays working through that trauma. I’m very happy with my third therapist, her approach suits me well and I’ve been seeing her for years now. Parents who put their kids in therapy, I love y’all so much, please do make sure, though, that your child feels emotionally safe in sessions! Check up with them and see if they like their therapist and if they feel like they’re making any progress (don’t pressure them, just be casual about it and let them open up to you at their own pace.)
The very first therapist I ever saw said that she does CBT and started to explain what it was. I was pushing back that faulty thinking is subjective and so how does she know it is etc. She ended up saying are you going to let me finish, are you going to let me finish, are you going to let me finish. I said that I had already stopped and she could have finished in the amount of time that it took her to do that. This was 10+ years ago so don't remember exactly how it finished up, just that I ended up walking out after 15 minutes and never went back. I was fortunate that the people in my life that had wanted me to get into therapy were very reassuring with what happened and that that experience wasn't normal. Currently I have someone that I really like.
My old therapist use to eat snacks during our session, use to be 10 to 15 minutes late, I asked did my insurance pay for the whole hour with her being late. I suppose to be weekly, still have to get put on the cancelation list. Overall I feel like I can vent to my therapist but still haven't hit the nail on working through my anxiety.
First: Saw a therapist with my partner. The therapist acknowledged my partner and then talked a lot (exactly how you mentioned talking about themselves and me feeling like the therapist in session) It was clear the therapist was struggling with exactly the same problems as my partner. I wanted to seek a different one. Later, I found out my partner was seeing the same therapist in solo sessions without me and revealed to me ,in a rather spiteful way, that all they did was talk negatively about me in session. So, in terms of state licensing and ethics, is that legal for the therapist to see my partner without me there and talk about issues that were talked about in group session? Needless to say, it felt like a triangulation and my family was ruined. Second: while talking about similar events with another therapist, he didn't believe me and downplayed my stories, told me to "just get over it", told me "I'm just as bad as a women", and also made comments about "undesirables abusing the system" and sarcastic remarks about people "staying on welfare" (need I mention consistently being late for our appointments and charging 200-500 a session). Had I been smarter I would have done something more pro-active about these things. And, if there is a role for attracting and flushing out bad therapists from the system, I'd be a natural.
My psychologist closes his eyes and sighs, seems disinterested and feels disrespectful of my story. He doesn't ask any questions. I feel like I'm just talking to fill dead space and rambling on to disinterested, to me at least. Gives me impractical advice like restricting pleasant pastimes as conditioning for my adult intellectually disabled dependent such as less watching TV, doing laundry etc. Her activities are not excessive and calms her to do them. I'm trying to learn to cope with some of her behavior issues, but fun calming activities seem positive to me.
By the way, simple drop out by not making new appointments works very well in practice. They really don't bother to check, despite all talks about "I care about you".
I once had a male therapist that was often late for our sessions. When I confronted him with this, he got defensive, and accused me of having borderline personality disorder! Before this altercation, I had scored high on an online test, told him about it, and he assured me that I didn't meet enough of the criteria for having BPD. He also liked to flirt and told me about all of the attractive clients that he had. He was married. Once he told me that I was "no Beyonce" but I was an attractive woman. He also told me that my "t*tts sagg" at my age. He appeared to be jealous of the fact that at the time I was talking to a younger man (online) that was also married. Yes, I had issues but he wasn't helping... and eventually I "broke up" with my therapist over the phone. He asked me why over the phone, and I told him because I didn't want to pay for another session.
In 2008 I had a psychiatrist and a social worker at the same time weaponize something important to me having to do with my late wife. From that moment it became war. I warped the truth with a bunch of lies so I would be released from the hospital. Add to have a board hearing in order to secure my release. Was labeled a psychological anomaly. Went back to a doctor I knew and trusted. She freely admitted that I am light years ahead of anyone's capability to help me.
I got my therapist due to her availability as the only one in my area. Recently she has had to change her schedule. She talked about having to work around her schedule, but to me its about working around both the schedules. I don't think she is bad, but I don't think she has training in dealing with significant mental issues. I feel she judges me. I stopped trusting her and feeling safe.
I watched a lot of videos, but yours is the one that really stuck out to me and it really did help me. I go to a very nice therapist, but I don’t think she can handle my trauma, my past trauma, and my personality. Quite honestly I have a very strong personality, and she’s very timid and kind of like weak, she’s a very nice woman but I really don’t think she’s helping me and then she keeps asking me almost every session. Is this really helping you? Do you really want to come back? I find that very offensive. I will talk to her this time your video actually help me get around this so I could say something thank you so much.
In 2021 i had this therapist who's also a member of the psychiatrist association, every time i told my stories she always interrupted my talk and so fcking judgemental with high tone💀, some times she's very aggressive when she had a long line of clients so i was the one who's trying to cool off the situations💀
my last therapist who I just terminated with has massive ego, control and boundary issues. he'd do things for me that were far above what he's ethically supposed to do for a client, he'd text me too frequently, pay for my rides to and from his sessions, set aside too many accomodations for sessions with me (like he'd let me come in while he was busy doing something else, looking on his phone/laptop, having virtual meetings), invalidate my self harm scars and tell me I "shouldnt do that, that's not good", invalidate the insecurities and dysmorphia I have with my body by saying "you say you hate your acne scars, but I don't see any", "I can barely see that", "you're too hard on yourself, you're such a beautiful girl and you have a beautiful smile", always smiled at me, made me feel guilty for wanting to terminate and acting like he's the only right option for me "if you terminated, I'd be very sad, would you really rather deal with all this alone and with no support?", and saying "it's not good to jump from therapist to therapist". and when I did eventually terminate with him in our last session he said "I dont know what the point of that message was (the one where I told him I dont wanna see him anymore). I've been nothing but accomadating for you. I've gone above and beyond to help you and saying you can text me whenever you need, there's nothing else more I can do for you ava". and when I told him he can't talk to me like that, he said "yes, I can talk to you like that actually because this is what's happened. you say you want to stop seeing me, fine. Idk why you would want to do that, and why you're still making this decision, but fine." and then proceeded to say "but I'm still here for you if you ever wanna text or reach out to me again". even in our first session he was like "I'd say I'm a pretty good therapist." not to mention his kinda gross ignorance of asexuality and queerness. like when I told him there was a woman I waa sexually interested in, he asked "how can you get over being abused by a man by having sex with a woman and with no penetration" when I'm literally bi and dont care about gender... and we worked towards no goals and he just said "I know what I'm doing". what a dickhead. and a liar at that too. I hate how much this guy manipulated, invalidated and gaslighted me in the short time we knew each other. I genuinely believe he was trying to groom me and it almost worked. I'm reporting him soon
I was called a borderline coutch potatoe by my mental health therapist and after talking to her my phsycologist says to me "wow you are very emotional".
Most therapist Ive had, has been a bad experience for me.. after I was attacked by a random guy that treatened to kill me, I got all the signs on PTSD.. but I was thought that you should deal with things yourself and never give up, be there for everyone elese and also I never learned how to talk about my feelings.. so when it got to a point where I broke down and had to go to a therapist, he was just quiet the entire time.. so after crying and saying everything that bothered me the first session, the next session I just sat there feeling that I was over reacting.. didnt come up with anything to talk about, and he just sat there.. tried to explain that my memory suddenly was very bad and that I coulnt find easy words..and he just answered that was normal. I quit after that, and believed that I didnt need a therapist, even though I was afraid everywhere I went.. but everytime things got too hard, I tried again, and it was new things that came up.. since Im an empath (or just a really fucked up peoplepleaser) you just end up adjusting to the therapist taking care of his/her needs in stead.. one asked me again and again if I rememebered being sexually assulted as a kid.. because I had just learned that my sister was, and every session she said that in 85% of the cases it also happens to the cyblings, so it was a big chance that it happened to me as well.. at that time, I actually believed that something had happened, like my ptsd and the loss of both my parents in a short time wasnt enough to deal with.. fortunantely I had a friends who were a therapist, that said that that wasnt ok for her to say and that I should stop going to her. My next therapist talked to me like a child, and always wanted to hug me at the end of the session..I felt so uncomfortable. At first I did it to please her, but after a while I said I didnt want to.. she stoped for a while, but then started again.. I started to just get up really fast after the session and get out before she managed to hug me, but then she ran after me and pet me on my back.. It felt like a new assault, and I really thought about wearing a #metoo t- shirt on my sessions🤣 It got so bad that in the end I didnt manage to go to my sessions, and just wrote a text that I quit..she wanted to talk about it and meet up, but I couldnt deal with it.. The next one finally saw how bad things were, and actually thought about putting me on an institution one session, and the next session, she ended the therapy.. she just said: The grief of your parents will go over, and I guess youre finished with the assault.. I told her no, it was then it all started, but she just answered that more than 6 months with therapy isnt any use anyways, so we had to quit. When I am really shocked or get in difficult situations, I go into freeze mode and dont get a reaction before way later, so I never was able to tell any of the therapist what I was feeling about the way they did things.. and also their reports looks like if I only has problems with depression and that I didnt want any help and etc, so it was hard for me to get money from the state when I wasnt able to work anymore.. I know im a hard person to crack and that I have problems with putting up boundaries and talk about and feeling feelings, also adjust to my surroundings too well, that everyone things that Im so much better than what I am, but still this should be normal for many ppl, and able to work through, shouldnt it? Even if I said the words right out, I wasnt believed, because I didnt seem sad enough saying it.. only when I broke down at sessions, they seem to understand.. but then its really bad.. I could smile and tell the worst things.. really wish I could find a therapist to help me break down these bad habits..
Hey I'm so sorry to hear this where do you reside I'm happy to link you to therapy there that's top rated or try serein counseling I'm sure micheline would like to accept you as a patient
Have you tried to talk to them about BPD? It's the worst. They change the subject so fast, even the PD specialized ones. "Diagnoses are not important, you shouldn't rely on them". Thanks, I wouldn't if you guys didn't keep pushing your bipolar, autism, ADHD, OCD dx on me all the time. Had to get tested for all of these because of YOU guys. Unofficially diagnosing random, very distressing disorders that lead to heavy depression just for fun, when they're not allowed to do so. Trying to use their CBT in every session after you've told them that it triggers you and that you do not wish to work with this modality. Texting us outside of sessions, touching us. The list goes on.
I agree with most of this but as a therapist who has impacted thousands of lives according to their feedback. I have also had to eat dinner a few times during a Telehealth visit( my video was off and clients know and agree to this in advance), and I took permission from the client and told them if it bothers them to let me know and I only took bites while they were talking as a few circumstances occurred and I could not eat prior so it was in everyones best interest that I eat when I could rather than cancel the session. Furthermore, I too have told a client the diagnoses is not as important as in it does not define us like most think( but I always validate them first and ensure they feel safe before I say this and we have rapport) however if it is important to them to know a diagnosis because it helps them understand who they are and such then sure that is vital. My point is there can always be more to the story. and maybe it would be a good idea to state that when making these videos.
I love that you brought this up because, as always, there is no one size fits all, and some of these are more nuanced than others, as you mentioned. I should have probably mentioned that in the video, but I agree. Sometimes, if we get the client's permission, I don't see this as an issue. But we have to be very careful even when asking since many clients may struggle with truly saying how they feel. I am also from a school where a diagnosis is not always important however if the client is bringing it up, I would explore that, and I may find that comment unnecessary unless and until it's the appropriate time to share this psychoeducational information. Thank you for all you do !
@@Micheline.Maalouf I 100 % agree, understand and abide by all of this too. I do my best not too, but life happens at times to all of us! We are all humans after all. Thank you for all you do too.
She got the unsafe to give feedback vibe down to a T! Also with a sprinkling of indirect sexual coercion [TRIGGER WARNING] I was single and actively dating and my therapist would NOT allow me to reject any online dating suitors that resembled herself. AT ALL. Specifically she was a plus sized woman of colour and she would become extremely disregulated and defensive to the point of being hostile snapping and almost raising her voice with me if I rejected anyone who was of her same body size or anyone who was a monoracial person of colour . I am a thin and relatively fit size 0 woman and I am only physically attracted to a similar body type for background. When I insisted no that I wasn't attracted to that person she would became even MORE hostile and defensive, and just started repeating over and over how I had hurt HER so badly in this counseling relationship and that really I was hurting her just as much as my counselor as she was hurting me as a client. She also put me under massive pressure not to partner with anyone white(I am half white). I am closer to my white side and she already KNEW this (I had told her every day of the last 4 months as well as the last two years in the context of the drop in that she also facilitated). She proceeded to make every single subsequent session for the next two months about "making me change my preferences". She also knew that I had been in multiple coercive relationships with fat women before where I was politically made to feel responsible for having sex with them and giving them love to help THEM feel included when IIIII never wanted this and IIII wound up feeling sexually coerced. She KNEW this and continued to push me RIGHT BACK IN to the VERY SAME coercive relationship patterns where bigger women use me for my body, while being trapped in a relationship with someone with the complete opposite lifestyle around health eating and movement and nutrition. (Like Great another partner I will fight with about the exact same lifestyle conflicts). I was in multiple coercive lesbian relationships with fat women whom I was guilted into giving a chance to in the first place and she knows( because i told her) that I NEVER developed attraction from being guilted into relationships. NEVER. (and she KNEW this). She CHOSE to push me back into the same relationship patterns that I was desperately seeking support to ESCAPE from just because SHE was fat-positive. I have had a hard time as a queer woman for YEARS trying to find a queer woman therapist who is NOT body-positive. Because I got burned so bad I now live with DAILY anxiety about what happened in that counseling relationship EVEN 4 YEARS LATER and am STILLL unable to trust anyone else. Also when i had pointed out how i felt coerced she got EVEN MORE HOSTILE to the point of SCARING ME INTO SUBMISSION and just kept on yelling at me like "IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII"M NOT TRYING TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU. IF YOU ARE ACCUSING ME OF ....AS YOUR COUNSELOR!!!!"...BLAH blah blah and similar phrases yelling over me so that i could not even get a word in edgewise for almost like 40 minutes and she WOULD NOT HEAR that this was not sexual or romantic consent for me without YELLING OVER ME and REVERSE ACCUSING ME of accusing her of hitting on me and start screaming "IM NOT HITTING ON YOU". I tend to have repeated problems with pushy suitors and coercive partners. Suitors that don't handle rejection kinda regularly become hostile or over persistent when hearing no and bully me into saying yes by repeatedly pushing every day over weeks or months until i wear down. Seeing her 4 years ago made me much more vulnerable to being worn down and more vulnerable to coercive relational abuse. I am struggling every day to survive. So many people express interest in me every fucking day and I live with crippling anxiety and can't walk outside because of the internalized guilt rejecting the people hitting on me daily I feel like a bad person for not dating or having sex with everyone who asks. I also get INSANE amounts of attention because of bodies and objectification. I am no longer in any way able to effectively filter that attention or filter suitors based on what I actually want because that would mean excluding everybody. Honestly if i felt entitled to my preferences of my own happiness I would be able to filter the dating pool to a number that i could actually handle interacting with each person. When I have a pool of 50 people hitting on me in a single day in the summer and 95% of them don't meet my preferences, that means i would have one person a day to talk to in a meaningful sense and actually remember their name. But 4 years later I still CANNOT filter based on my own likes and dislikes because of the IMPOSED GUILT.
Your diagnosis is NPD with huge attachments to the idea of ‘ideals’ or ‘perfection’. You’re not perfect and you have a huge problem with that. You’re so insecure but ‘so many people hit on you’- NPD overcompensation lies, I mean 50 people a day? Coming from someone who has never had an issue getting attention this sounds hilarious, you are only fooling yourself. You likely have OCD tendencies accompanying and ‘idiosyncratic rituals’ that you think are normal or unique but they’re just pathological. Strong scent of body image issues from you- I agree in terms of not regarding your partners, it’s ok to have a preference, but you have serious serious body image issues internally surrounding you and your view of yourself. This deep-rooted insecurity has built you a complex that puts you on a pedestal in your head, but also because you feel so awful, it’s paradoxical. That’s how it seems that ‘50 people a day hit on you’ but somehow you’re riddled with feeling bad, it’s a false construct made because you simply feel like trash and thinking that makes you feel better
My therapist, in our first session, scolded me somehow. I explained him that I was so young and unaware about the danger and went to my boyfriend's house after he fooled me that he wouldn't do anything to me at all. I trusted him. but he touched me in an inappropriate way, and I pretended to faint for let me go. I used the word of ra....pe, and my therapist told me that it was my fault and he said I shouldn't have gone into his house. but I wasn't that clever and aware of the danger in my 15 years old. And he said that it was not that boy's fault that fooled me and he took advantage of me. A normal person could get to this result, but he's a therapist. He wouldn't judge people. Is it a red flag? He didn't even ask me properly about my feelings or any details.
The therapist, I am currently seeing is a green flag, which is fortunate. It's important to recognize red flags as quickly as possible and discuss them with people you trust. If I discuss a therapist with a close friend of mine and they say red flag, it's important that I take that seriously. Red flags I have experienced recently are a therapist asking me inappropriate questions, teasing me, commenting on my singing, discussing other clients, and using insulting tactics to push goals.
The most unacceptable experience was very recent.... failure to foster safety and confidence in asserting boundaries with the narcissistic mother in session while validating every lie as she spews long winded monologue to dance around the inquiry.... ....and it took presidence over thorough evidence from me (which she didn't actually refute at all). And this is like the 15th therapist in the last 20 years going on and off with it with my family just to keep soft pedaling the emotional abuse and keeping the old wheels spinning.
One therapist I had was mad when I was telling her about texts I got from a former friend that were rude or negative. Her response was “You’re a weirdo, and that’s why you have no friends! I don’t want to hear your drama.”
@@donkykong1823 That therapist even cancelled my psychiatry chart just because I didn’t redo a program I already completed, but it was for mental health, and I struggled with an addiction. I only had 30 days before my medication ran out to find another psychiatrist’s office. I did find one, but it was the worst ever. Beggars can’t be choosers I guess lol
Also can you link me a short of yours please it was talking about fake love it said they show that they love you next min they act aggresive as it really resonates with me
THE TWO THERAPISTS I HAD WITH BETTER HELP WERE GASLIGHTING ME BY SAYING I AM WRONG FOR ME SAYING THAT I AM STARTING TO TRUST MY INSTINCTS MORE BECAUSE OF VERY BAD LIFE 🧬 EXPERIENCES I HAD. THEY BOTH HAD TOLD ME THAT I WAS BEING PARANOID.
so i was going to behavioral and health iop 4 days in 4 week program and was discharged today i was pullout of the room by my psychiatrist and was told im not a good fit nothing more i tried asking why i wasn't but all she said was i was not a good fit im currently in the in the psych ward yes we can have our phones in here my psych therapist called up to iop to find out why i was discharged so early because my psych therapist said there is no reason for it then my psychiatrist said i glanced over at someone and they got uncomfortable but i didn't and got up twice to go to the bathroom those were the only 2 reasons i got discharged but my psychiatrist never told meany of that she withheld information that pertaining to me and now saying she won't accept another referral my psych therapist is pissed at my psychiatrist and said she was very unprofessional the way she handled things i was doing so good in iop the first 4 days got a lot out of it
I'll never trust another therapist. Therapy made my mental health so much worse than it already was. And now I have to pay for what they did. But I'm supposed to just keep endlessly dedicating time and money I don't have to keep hunting down therapists only to find out they suck and I would have been better off alone.
I wish my therapists said they weren't trained in trauma or whatever. Prematurely taking on clients they know based on the clients goals they can't help from an ethical standpoint.
One thing I disagree with is that therapists do not need to be well versed in different styles of therapy and don't need to be able to shift to other styles when one isn't working. Therapists can choose to specialise in one area or form of therapy and if their style does not work for a client, they can suggest referring the client to a therapist that has expertise in another style of therapy. I think this point is where the differentiation of a red flag and what's ideal needs to be made, because all therapists can't know all styles of therapy and I think it's problematic to tell a UA-cam audience that if your therapist doesn't know a particular style of therapy that might help them, that it's a red flag. It would however be ideal for them to know several styles of therapy to draw on, particularly if they claim to treat certain presentations, they should know the main therapies that are typically used and usually successful for those presentations. Edit: this was addressed later in the video, however, I feel it maybe shouldn't have been mentioned earlier in the video under the red flags section.
I am 69 years old so I have seen a lot. I would like to make a few observations having known both people going to therapy as well as knowing a few therapists. I have known people who went to therapy because they were forced to by their families and that proved to be a complete waste of time. I have known people who were addicted to going to therapy and would go to therapist after therapist with no results. Lately I have seen people who go to therapy because it is the trendy thing to do. These people don't want a solution they want a diagnosis. Once they receive a diagnosis, they then use that diagnosis as an excuse for their continued bad behavior. I have known therapists that had no business being therapists because they had too many unresolved issues themselves. Kind of like being an Oncologist who chain smokes cigarettes or a grossly obese nutritionist. I also know people who don't need therapy in a conventional sense, they just need someone to talk to and this is the saddest thing nowadays. People, even so called "friends" rarely just talk anymore. Sometimes, simple human interaction is all you need.
My psychologist says that lots of younger patients come for their first appointment and say "I have ADHD" or "I know I'm autistic", and expect him to immediately affirm their self-diagnosis that was made after watching 100 TikTok videos and doing a few online pop-psych tests. When he explains that anxiety, depression, ADHD, and autism all have overlapping symptoms, and that the purpose of the visits is to carefully explore all the issues at hand rather than jumping to conclusions, some clients get upset and accuse him of not believing them, or dismissing their concerns. There are a few comments here from people who have been serial desisters with a number of different therapists. If you've consulted a half-dozen mental health professionals and found fault with every single one of them, maybe it's time to look in the mirror and accept that it's you who is the problem, not the therapists.
Some therapists hang out with their clients?! Also is using your medication as leverage to get you to do reccomended treatment a red flag? Like mine wanted me to do three two and a half hour long group sessions a week for the next several months or no more zoloft
In one year, she increased the prices two times. It became twice more. I said my budget is not enough. Finally I had 5 sessions I didnt pay. I said I needed a break, pay my depths then I can take more appointments when I have more money. Because I felt like I’m getting into more and more depth. My therapist didnt accept. Said this is runningg away from life. I’m so suprised. Because it’s my decision. I said I wont come. She said she will be waiting for me next week. Ok so wait. What can I do. ?
Is it even taking up space in life if I follow her decisions? I think I need to follow MY decisions. I should trust MY judgements. I’m still confused by her behaviour. Maybe she her own issues about “bringing me into session.” Some kind of insecurity about success. Which is not my concern. I can give a break. When I see the need.
And if this is running away from life. So be it. I have right to run away from life too. I healed some of my wounds, I didnt heal some of my wounds. I dont understand. Do I have to? And is this way to heal me? Pushing me and taking my decision away?
Why would my therapist get upset with me taking notes of the things he's saying? Especially when he throws out professional terms for no reason, interrupting me and neither explaining why he's asking me if I know of these things nor explaining himself what they are?
I went on my first therapy with my mom and it was awful I always felt he pressing eyes. After session she was angry cuz therapist did nothing what could make me "normal and healthy". 😑
I said how my family abuse towards me, parents' divorce and school bullying caused me at 13 to starve my guinea pig. I had to collect grass from a meadow, even during winter and I guess I was so overwhelmed I couldn't do it anymore. My therapist said rodents die. These 'specialists'' defended physical abuse, emotional and sexual, all four of my family members were defended by different people. I guess I deserved the abuse and humiliation. Meanwhile, women who choose to marry abusive men get all the support, like my mother. I didn't choose my family, did I? I don't understand why no one wants to help me.
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭i am already struggling so much😭😭😭😭..and my therapist is giving more and more hard time for me😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭...he is often being angry at me..not letting me express myself.. threatening or demeaning whenever I don't agree with hom or don't do whatever he says. He is literally forcing to follow his suggestions..he is not at all empathetic even though I mentioned this to him a couple of times..😭😭😭😭😭
So far 3 losers. Ex. Yawning during sessions, cancel at last minute. A guy who said he was an expert in AA yet was drinking again. Asked one how i can get my partner to control their anger and abuse towards me and I laughed
Is it a red flag if your therapist tells you they were angered by you sending them an email for medical aid related purposes while they were away on holiday? Because I should be aware that even they need a break because they are human too and when they receive an email from a patient they immediately go into work and emergency mode? (Also the way she told me she was angered by me was first by listening to my own challenges as a newly trained psychologist myself, and she then affirmed that I am a human first before a therapist, and that is why she got angered by me contacting her when I know fully well what it's like to need a break and be exhausted. Be in mind, I barely ever email or WhatsApp her - basically never. She took over a month to fill out a medical aid coverage form for me, and only when I asked her if she had filled the form out she said she would get to it, and that she was sorry it wasnt done but she was so ill and sick, and needed to be on a drip recently from burnout. So in was super understanding of her and let it go. But I didnt get any feedback on whether my medical aid was approved. I dont think she needed to approach me in that blunt intimidating way when I barely ever overstep boundaries with her. I also was super considerate of her circumstance prior, and yet she thought it was ok to be that way with me. I felt manipulated in her approach. It left me feeling like I had to be super aware of her feelings and be mindful of when I email her. She even said " you knew I was coming back from my holiday around that date, so you could have emailed me then". Like was it really my job to consider all of that on her behalf? I didn't expect her to respond to the email immediately. She can get to her emails at her own time. It was clear that my mail wasnt demanding anything immediately from her. It was just a mail noting me needs around med aid/ admin stuff
Some therapists forget they work for you- she tried to justify why she let your medical aid form sit for an unreasonable amount of time- which you were more than patient about and then reacted as if it was an inconvenience to receive an email reminder after a month, it was her responsibility to attend to it sooner, she’s being paid to provide services to, in general therapists who lose sight of the fact they are paid to provide services to you and react defensively in this way is a way for them to shift their responsibility onto the client is wrong
Can't these kinds of things end up in court?? Sounds like mental and emotional abuse. Isn't crossing boundaries illegal or just unethical? Of a therapist isn't using the appropriate modality and stringing you along as if their helping you, isn't that criminal??? I'd run so far from them!!
And I had contemplated getting out of the field. I love listening to people, their stories, their struggles. Right where I'm supposed to be. So sorry people have had such crappy experiences.
Therapists ALWAYS see some progress. They are especially fond to latch on essentially random event which was positive and claim that it is sign of improvement. Too bad that improvement they see is: a) short lived; b) usually doesn't repeat. Having training for specific issue is worthless for multiple reasons. The most important thing about therapists: they are all "anti physical violence" but when their colleagues make mess "nobody forced you to go there" (my country doesn't have a law about psychotherapy and current practice for MDs suggests that such law would be useless, MDs get ~2-3 years in prison after death of patient due negligence and malpractice, nobody dies in psychotherapy). Therapists don't take well when I remind them that nobody forced them to schedule session and open the doors. Even more, there are no promises in psychotherapy, but therapists don't like to be reminded that I never made a promise that they will be unharmed or even alive when I leave or sometimes later. And because everyone are responsible for themselves, if anything happens to them, it is their own fault. They are all adults and blaming other people for their own problems (wrecked joint due lock for example) is really immature and hypocritical. Yes, therapists are very afraid to be treated like they treat clients. Especially "if all you have to offer me is 'you have to accept reality', maybe I should provide to you similar situation?" My expectations from therapy are: waste time, waste money and results? Very basic things I wanted are simply out of reach and nobody can give me lost not years but decades. So I guess there are healthier option than, usually female therapists. Prostitutes for example. At least no fake emotions, I get something in return and psychological damage is hardly present at all. Plus way cheaper and no need to think about scheduling. By the way, for usual therapists' gaslighting "single bad experience", I had multiple bad experiences, including with persons who are trainers and supervisors (that was the reason they thought normal rules are not applicable for them). Because I am common factor, it must be me. After all, if a woman is raped two times in her life, she is common denominator and thus it is her fault, mini skirt, heels or perfume. Or maybe there is no a "budget" for bad things in life?
its not my first rodeo during covid i was put on mdlive for years no therapy all of a sudden insurance changed and they tell me to go to therapy scam scam scam.
Sometimes you wander why use incredible money on a therapist av all, i rather read some good books or see UA-cam videos, many good therapists here on topics like depression , anxiety and trauma. If not incredible crippled by depression, trauma and isolation..
I am asking this just to hear others' experiences, and not trying to make huge general statements...but I have had my experiences and have heard my girlfriends' experiences AND all the posts below, and now doubt female therapists being able to not have their own shit and bias come about . I had a male therapist for many, many years, and there was a point when I wanted to try a female perspective...and I did, but within 3 sessions she did this very odd defensive thing (usually a female behavior I see in other situations) and went back to my male therapist. I then again wanted a female perspective and she happened to be my ADHD meds psychiatrist, who stepped in as therapist, too. Which was great for awhile, but once again she started doing weird digs or got defensive when i call her out on odd comments that seemed biased to either how her day was going and not necessarily about me, and moments that actually looked like she was saying words projecting her own bias against me particularly. Long story short, she literally did the SAME bullshit female defensive behavior as the woman I tried years ago. . So, just wondering a concensus. Male therapists also have their bs you have to suss out....but I can spot a sexist, narcissist a mile away, but women's behavior is just expert bullshit. any thoughts?
Hi!! #1 (unpopular opinion) I find you an attractive young lady #2 I used to go to therapy over a decade ago and never restarted when my previous therapist relocated and I wasn't comfortable due to not wanting to reintroduce my trauma to a new therapist in fear of it emotionally breaking me down, and instead I just pushed it to the back burner and tried to live life semi-normally, that came to backfire recently.
We live in an irrational psychotic society where the accumulation of profit supersedes human well being by law, and is never going to produce positive results in any area of human endeavour. The profit motive is reeking evermore catastrophic consequences on humankind, and is a death wish for every living creature on the planet that our species seems incapable or unwilling to challenge or even discuss. I am a transistorized, transgenderized, transmogrified, trans-human A corporatized, commercialized, industrial strength consumer A goal setting, gym sweating, debt fretting freak A social climbing net worker that's always on heat I got my education majoring in indoctrination Where they taught me to comply, to never question why And so I'm chasing an illusion of success that's a delusion That's sending me insane, exploding my brain And as we teeter on the brink, soon to be extinct I always wear a smile, coz I'm living in denial
wow why does your industry allow such people to operate and hurt others with impunity, it's almost as if it's built into the system. Why the hell is it on the client to do everything?
Therapist here, I would like to say there are many reasons this happens but let's take mainstream therapy for example such as betterhelp It's on public record that they got sued for 7.8 million for confidentiality violations.... my opinion is that there are so many agencies that don't hold accountable the workers It would be my greatest suggestion that If you do find a therapist, make sure they are licensed And if they start doing shady stuff, call the state board We need more accountability, I'm tired of therapists thinking they can say and do whatever they want with impunity
I never felt hope or had a strategic plan that I would ever improve. Never had any shared understanding of what goals i was working towards. Simply felt I was talking and talking endlessly without improving.
same
same here as you hear there cash register go ching ching lol i can laugh to as their screwing medicaid think the racquet should be investigated for fraud.
samee. all 3 of my therapists have sucked, but at least my first therapist had clear understandable goals with me. but my last two were awful about that and directionless, especially my last. I just felt like I only had sessions with him just to vent about my problems then turn around and get even more abused and manipulated than I already have been in my life and that sucks
That's how I feel.
Therapists who either have poor self awareness of their own issues or bias that leak into sessions- also some therapists haven’t addressed their own issues or trauma and become reactive to hearing clients who discuss similar issues in their own lives; another big one I’ve read so many have experienced is therapists w an ego, so therapists who react harshly negative if you dare question their understanding of something you’ve experienced
lol or as george costanza would say dont question the delicate genius.
Once a therapist told me I shouldn't be surprised that I have a depressive episode as I don't engage in any competitive sports. Another one asked me how he can find a decent kindergarten for his child when I was there to talk about the death of three family members. Another one just switched to calling me by my first name. Another one was so offended when I told him that I got anxious when he said even the emergency ward of the mental hospital doesn't want to get calls on holidays. One asked me what my goals are, when I told her, she said that made no sense and I should come up with other goals and email them to her. She refused to give me a follow up appointment. It's ridiculous what is going on out there.
Can you please explain the calling you by your first name issue? I don't understand why that's a problem without the context.
@@MomoSimone22 That's a cultural & language issue. Where I live there is a formal and an informal way to address people. The rules might be difficult for foreigners but are clear to native speakers. Calling someone by their first name and with the informal personal pronoun is not common in a therapy situation, at least not without setting the rules first. It has a lot to do with respect, the kind of attachment, bond or relationship you have with a person.
The mental health system has been my narc family's greatest enabler. For decades.
This
Worst thing I ever had a therapist say to me was that I was too much of a liability for her to take on due to having passive suicidal ideations. It was when I was at my lowest. She was so judgmental. I reported her.
Horrible! I’m sorry. Did u get any thing back after the report?
Where did you report her.
Please help me i need to report my.
@@IkalaNhula I reported her to the company that she was contracted with.
@@JessieJames89JG and nothing happened to The Rapist
@@RavNivaragenius
My therapist prepared her dinner then sat down and ate it during our session. She was a bully also. She blamed me for everything. Not in a take responsibility way....in an it's your fault way. I don't know who's training these people...but we are in a therapy crisis. Most of them are nuts.
Make the profession illegal to practice or make it difficult for unfit people to become therapists.
I tried 2 therapists this year: in February and June / July, both times they just let me speak with zero feedback or intervention, the second one explicitely refused when i asked. Both got annoyed when i expressed doubts about how sessions were going, no question about it, no suggestion of a new approach, no referral. I stopped seeing both after 3 sessions. Now i am starting to roll my eyes interiorly when thinking about "therapy" and "therapists"
My first therapist used to drink huge starbucks drinks, and would offer me water. My second therapist, when i told him that i have suici... thoughts, asked me if i'm aware that there is a legal way to off myself. (Assisted suici..). It was like a punch to the stomach and made me feel bad for days after, so bad, that i had to be hospitalized in the psych ward. I lost my friend to suici..
I feel like I only see a therapist when I'm in crisis. I'm fairly sane until I start dating someone. Recently, I've decided that I'm happiest being single and not dating. I feel like my therapist is someone that I can talk to, but that's about it. I don't feel completely safe or trusting with anyone. I have been in and out of therapy for most of my adult life. This therapist is #7.
i told my old therapist that when i have sh urges i play solitare on my phone until they stop and she said that i should stop doing that because its bad to look at your phone. it was the only coping mechanism i had at the time so i started to sh again
If I wanted a job where I had power over vulnerable people and had no accountability.....
Exactly!
and those unfit lard asses couldn't make it thru police academy or the military even going in as an officer with their useless Masters of Mayhem degree
Brilliant
my ex-therapist had several red flags. She was judgemental at times - she claimed that all my relations were shallow. While I told her that it's not actually true and that I feel judged by this term (let's be honest, shallow is a pejorative adjective), she replied that it's actually a me problem. She did not believe in my ADHD, and I got an interpretation of my typical adhd behavior as something that my subconsciousness was doing to sabotage my therapy. I wasn't getting better for half a year - moreover, after almost each session I felt bad and unstable for a day or two. I have probably CPTSD as my childhood was filled with violence. She decided to induce my anger so I could work with it. And when she succeeded, she called it aggression and said she was afraid of it. All while aggressive caregivers gave me trauma and she knew it. And I never behaved aggressively. When I decided that enough was enough, she said it was just me acting out, and during the last 20 min of the last session, she said that I might or might not have ADHD (I was in the process of diagnosis by then), but she diagnosed me with BPD. She never mentioned it before. Oh, and she claimed that my last breakup (a guy ghosted me after several months of a relationship) was actually my fault.
Hah I (a therapist in training) was once told by a fully qualified therapist, that I was ‘too broken to be fixed’ and that, her words ‘I’m a narcissist so you’re probably one too’, and then shouted at me to stop therapising myself lol.
But yes, a therapy experience should be uncomfortable or challenging your perspective. A therapist should be working their way OUT of your life, teaching you the skills so you don’t need them anymore.
If they’re not doing that - discuss the lack of progress and ask.
This is a great video - wish more people saw it.
I once had to do a harshly worded intervention on a highly sensitive subject. It deeply affected the client, and they were soon ported out to a specialist they were waiting on, but they came back for one session a year later to say how fundamentally it’d changed their life. They were hurt at the time, but in hindsight, it was the new idea they needed to kickstart massive positive life changes. It’s why discussing WHY the therapist said something is so useful, but also why it should feel uncomfortable.
Would you say that harshly worded intervention you did on the highly sensitive topic can be seen as good progress for a client regardless of the hurt they experienced at the time? What would be an example of this? I'm not a certified therapist but I'd like to know more about this!
I'm so sorry for everyone who had terrible experiences with their therapist.... I'm reading all these comments and it hurts my heart that these therapist have no emotional maturity... I am thinking of becoming a therapist myself but the last thing I want to do is hurt someone with my words/actions... and now I'm really scared that I will
don't be worried, darling. the fact that you even have this awareness and drive to be a good therapist in and of itself shows that you'll do great. I'm the same, I've wanted to be an art therapist for years and after horrible experiences with therapists after that, I still want to be one to treat my future clients better than I've been treated
I had one who said to buy a book about anxiety, read a chapter each week, and then during our meeting they would literally read the chapter back to me
I once had a therapist I was required to see due to voch rehab. I had depression and suffered from emotional abuse all my life .She was really weird. She never believed a word i told her and would argue with me that depression wasn’t my problem . She seemed to have misdiagnosed me and had her own narrative and believed I had some syndrome or issues that I didn’t relate to in anyway. Every time I attempted to open up to her, which was difficult for me she would strongly assert that I was wrong and that wasn’t my problem. I was required to see her and they wouldn’t allow me to switch. I’ve never done this before or since ,but since every single word I’d say , she would tell me that wasn’t me talking, i was lying I just had to sit there not saying anything for the whole session. Thankfully , I was graduating from college soon ,and only had to sit quietly through a few months. I can’t believe this woman gets by with this! I have a wonderful therapist now and I’m doing very well with her.
How about when you feel like your therapist is just intrigued by you, like, they are entertained by you and you just end up shooting the breeze all the time and not really working on anything long term?
I hate that alot tbh, it feels very unproductive to sessions and progress
Sure does 🫤. I find that it's usually the case no matter where I go.
I started therapy & ended it because I was going through a habitual intruder vandalizing my senior apartment & I was frightened & she replied Id have to see it to believe it & I told her their are Police reports & so invalidating & I told her I cant believe your a certified counselor & I never went back!!
She was gaslighting you so you would doubt yourself.
I've had so many bad therapist I feel that no one will believe me. But when you are disabled and live in a low income area it can be pretty bad. I had a therapist during Covid that did a phone session and I could hear a man's voice in the background. When I asked her about it she screamed at me. Another one would walk around her room while in telehealth appoint. She'd look through her drawers for something. And then she seemed like she was high or drunk. Slurring her words, and then nodding off. And there were others. Thank you for posting this because it really does a number to have people do this to you and no one seems to care. Thanks again!
Oh my goodness, I'm appalled at the level of unethical and inappropriate behaviour people are experiencing with some therapists.
I'm a private counsellor in New Zealand, and from my perspective you are spot on.
Thanks for the great video! I have been a clinical psychologist and CBT therapist for 12 years. I watched your video because I wanted to "face" my possible mistakes. You picked up very useful and real points. I have heard a lot of these from my own clients about other therapists.
Thank you for the opportunity, it confirmed that I have not made any big mistakes so far (just some small ones that could be corrected). It also helped me with what I need to look out for in the future. 😌
My therapist just disappeared off the face of the earth.
My current therapist is the first genuinely good therapist I've had in 13 years of searching. But one of my old therapists would just ask if I'm okay and end the session at that.. literally less than 5 minutes it was crazy
Wow
CBT definitely does not work for me, I’m neurodivergent and have childhood trauma I’m working through. We gotta mostly focus on that, get to my mindset after. Now that I’ve been in therapy for a while with a therapist I trust and have a good relationship with, I definitely do work on my mindset more, but that’s after years of working through my trauma and all its complexities.
I’ve definitely experienced being blamed for my own issues. My first therapist did that. My second therapist parentified me (I was a child when I went to see her). She was trying to get me to manage my dad and his anger issues (raging) in ways that were completely unhealthy for a nine-year-old. This ended up being pretty traumatic for me and I actually have had to spend sessions in therapy nowadays working through that trauma. I’m very happy with my third therapist, her approach suits me well and I’ve been seeing her for years now.
Parents who put their kids in therapy, I love y’all so much, please do make sure, though, that your child feels emotionally safe in sessions! Check up with them and see if they like their therapist and if they feel like they’re making any progress (don’t pressure them, just be casual about it and let them open up to you at their own pace.)
Personally I think CBT is self-gaslighting, and doesn't address the root cause of psychological problems at all.
The very first therapist I ever saw said that she does CBT and started to explain what it was. I was pushing back that faulty thinking is subjective and so how does she know it is etc. She ended up saying are you going to let me finish, are you going to let me finish, are you going to let me finish. I said that I had already stopped and she could have finished in the amount of time that it took her to do that. This was 10+ years ago so don't remember exactly how it finished up, just that I ended up walking out after 15 minutes and never went back.
I was fortunate that the people in my life that had wanted me to get into therapy were very reassuring with what happened and that that experience wasn't normal. Currently I have someone that I really like.
Love this, very important to recognise the red flags! 🚩
My old therapist use to eat snacks during our session, use to be 10 to 15 minutes late, I asked did my insurance pay for the whole hour with her being late. I suppose to be weekly, still have to get put on the cancelation list. Overall I feel like I can vent to my therapist but still haven't hit the nail on working through my anxiety.
First: Saw a therapist with my partner. The therapist acknowledged my partner and then talked a lot (exactly how you mentioned talking about themselves and me feeling like the therapist in session) It was clear the therapist was struggling with exactly the same problems as my partner. I wanted to seek a different one. Later, I found out my partner was seeing the same therapist in solo sessions without me and revealed to me ,in a rather spiteful way, that all they did was talk negatively about me in session. So, in terms of state licensing and ethics, is that legal for the therapist to see my partner without me there and talk about issues that were talked about in group session? Needless to say, it felt like a triangulation and my family was ruined. Second: while talking about similar events with another therapist, he didn't believe me and downplayed my stories, told me to "just get over it", told me "I'm just as bad as a women", and also made comments about "undesirables abusing the system" and sarcastic remarks about people "staying on welfare" (need I mention consistently being late for our appointments and charging 200-500 a session). Had I been smarter I would have done something more pro-active about these things. And, if there is a role for attracting and flushing out bad therapists from the system, I'd be a natural.
My psychologist closes his eyes and sighs, seems disinterested and feels disrespectful of my story. He doesn't ask any questions. I feel like I'm just talking to fill dead space and rambling on to disinterested, to me at least. Gives me impractical advice like restricting pleasant pastimes as conditioning for my adult intellectually disabled dependent such as less watching TV, doing laundry etc. Her activities are not excessive and calms her to do them. I'm trying to learn to cope with some of her behavior issues, but fun calming activities seem positive to me.
By the way, simple drop out by not making new appointments works very well in practice. They really don't bother to check, despite all talks about "I care about you".
yup! i ghosted my therapist when she knew i was suicidal and she just never checked in again
I once had a male therapist that was often late for our sessions. When I confronted him with this, he got defensive, and accused me of having borderline personality disorder! Before this altercation, I had scored high on an online test, told him about it, and he assured me that I didn't meet enough of the criteria for having BPD. He also liked to flirt and told me about all of the attractive clients that he had. He was married. Once he told me that I was "no Beyonce" but I was an attractive woman. He also told me that my "t*tts sagg" at my age. He appeared to be jealous of the fact that at the time I was talking to a younger man (online) that was also married. Yes, I had issues but he wasn't helping... and eventually I "broke up" with my therapist over the phone. He asked me why over the phone, and I told him because I didn't want to pay for another session.
In 2008 I had a psychiatrist and a social worker at the same time weaponize something important to me having to do with my late wife.
From that moment it became war. I warped the truth with a bunch of lies so I would be released from the hospital. Add to have a board hearing in order to secure my release. Was labeled a psychological anomaly.
Went back to a doctor I knew and trusted.
She freely admitted that I am light years ahead of anyone's capability to help me.
I got my therapist due to her availability as the only one in my area. Recently she has had to change her schedule. She talked about having to work around her schedule, but to me its about working around both the schedules. I don't think she is bad, but I don't think she has training in dealing with significant mental issues. I feel she judges me. I stopped trusting her and feeling safe.
I watched a lot of videos, but yours is the one that really stuck out to me and it really did help me. I go to a very nice therapist, but I don’t think she can handle my trauma, my past trauma, and my personality. Quite honestly I have a very strong personality, and she’s very timid and kind of like weak, she’s a very nice woman but I really don’t think she’s helping me and then she keeps asking me almost every session. Is this really helping you? Do you really want to come back? I find that very offensive. I will talk to her this time your video actually help me get around this so I could say something thank you so much.
In 2021 i had this therapist who's also a member of the psychiatrist association, every time i told my stories she always interrupted my talk and so fcking judgemental with high tone💀, some times she's very aggressive when she had a long line of clients so i was the one who's trying to cool off the situations💀
My therapist always speaks with friends on phone when we are in a session we use to meet in a restaurant.
my last therapist who I just terminated with has massive ego, control and boundary issues. he'd do things for me that were far above what he's ethically supposed to do for a client, he'd text me too frequently, pay for my rides to and from his sessions, set aside too many accomodations for sessions with me (like he'd let me come in while he was busy doing something else, looking on his phone/laptop, having virtual meetings), invalidate my self harm scars and tell me I "shouldnt do that, that's not good", invalidate the insecurities and dysmorphia I have with my body by saying "you say you hate your acne scars, but I don't see any", "I can barely see that", "you're too hard on yourself, you're such a beautiful girl and you have a beautiful smile", always smiled at me, made me feel guilty for wanting to terminate and acting like he's the only right option for me
"if you terminated, I'd be very sad, would you really rather deal with all this alone and with no support?", and saying "it's not good to jump from therapist to therapist". and when I did eventually terminate with him in our last session he said "I dont know what the point of that message was (the one where I told him I dont wanna see him anymore). I've been nothing but accomadating for you. I've gone above and beyond to help you and saying you can text me whenever you need, there's nothing else more I can do for you ava". and when I told him he can't talk to me like that, he said "yes, I can talk to you like that actually because this is what's happened. you say you want to stop seeing me, fine. Idk why you would want to do that, and why you're still making this decision, but fine." and then proceeded to say "but I'm still here for you if you ever wanna text or reach out to me again". even in our first session he was like "I'd say I'm a pretty good therapist." not to mention his kinda gross ignorance of asexuality and queerness. like when I told him there was a woman I waa sexually interested in, he asked "how can you get over being abused by a man by having sex with a woman and with no penetration" when I'm literally bi and dont care about gender...
and we worked towards no goals and he just said "I know what I'm doing". what a dickhead. and a liar at that too. I hate how much this guy manipulated, invalidated and gaslighted me in the short time we knew each other. I genuinely believe he was trying to groom me and it almost worked. I'm reporting him soon
Oh my gosh he should have lost his license. That's messed up.
@@PatientPerspective thanks for the kind words. I'm gonna be reporting him soon so I hope something will be done about him
I was called a borderline coutch potatoe by my mental health therapist and after talking to her my phsycologist says to me "wow you are very emotional".
Oh my God.... I'm so sorry. That reminds me of the therapist who called me a wimp because I was depressed. You can't make this
sh!t up.
Most therapist Ive had, has been a bad experience for me.. after I was attacked by a random guy that treatened to kill me, I got all the signs on PTSD.. but I was thought that you should deal with things yourself and never give up, be there for everyone elese and also I never learned how to talk about my feelings.. so when it got to a point where I broke down and had to go to a therapist, he was just quiet the entire time.. so after crying and saying everything that bothered me the first session, the next session I just sat there feeling that I was over reacting.. didnt come up with anything to talk about, and he just sat there.. tried to explain that my memory suddenly was very bad and that I coulnt find easy words..and he just answered that was normal. I quit after that, and believed that I didnt need a therapist, even though I was afraid everywhere I went.. but everytime things got too hard, I tried again, and it was new things that came up.. since Im an empath (or just a really fucked up peoplepleaser) you just end up adjusting to the therapist taking care of his/her needs in stead.. one asked me again and again if I rememebered being sexually assulted as a kid.. because I had just learned that my sister was, and every session she said that in 85% of the cases it also happens to the cyblings, so it was a big chance that it happened to me as well.. at that time, I actually believed that something had happened, like my ptsd and the loss of both my parents in a short time wasnt enough to deal with.. fortunantely I had a friends who were a therapist, that said that that wasnt ok for her to say and that I should stop going to her.
My next therapist talked to me like a child, and always wanted to hug me at the end of the session..I felt so uncomfortable. At first I did it to please her, but after a while I said I didnt want to.. she stoped for a while, but then started again.. I started to just get up really fast after the session and get out before she managed to hug me, but then she ran after me and pet me on my back.. It felt like a new assault, and I really thought about wearing a #metoo t- shirt on my sessions🤣 It got so bad that in the end I didnt manage to go to my sessions, and just wrote a text that I quit..she wanted to talk about it and meet up, but I couldnt deal with it..
The next one finally saw how bad things were, and actually thought about putting me on an institution one session, and the next session, she ended the therapy.. she just said: The grief of your parents will go over, and I guess youre finished with the assault.. I told her no, it was then it all started, but she just answered that more than 6 months with therapy isnt any use anyways, so we had to quit.
When I am really shocked or get in difficult situations, I go into freeze mode and dont get a reaction before way later, so I never was able to tell any of the therapist what I was feeling about the way they did things.. and also their reports looks like if I only has problems with depression and that I didnt want any help and etc, so it was hard for me to get money from the state when I wasnt able to work anymore.. I know im a hard person to crack and that I have problems with putting up boundaries and talk about and feeling feelings, also adjust to my surroundings too well, that everyone things that Im so much better than what I am, but still this should be normal for many ppl, and able to work through, shouldnt it? Even if I said the words right out, I wasnt believed, because I didnt seem sad enough saying it.. only when I broke down at sessions, they seem to understand.. but then its really bad.. I could smile and tell the worst things.. really wish I could find a therapist to help me break down these bad habits..
Hey I'm so sorry to hear this where do you reside I'm happy to link you to therapy there that's top rated or try serein counseling I'm sure micheline would like to accept you as a patient
Have you tried to talk to them about BPD? It's the worst. They change the subject so fast, even the PD specialized ones. "Diagnoses are not important, you shouldn't rely on them". Thanks, I wouldn't if you guys didn't keep pushing your bipolar, autism, ADHD, OCD dx on me all the time. Had to get tested for all of these because of YOU guys.
Unofficially diagnosing random, very distressing disorders that lead to heavy depression just for fun, when they're not allowed to do so.
Trying to use their CBT in every session after you've told them that it triggers you and that you do not wish to work with this modality.
Texting us outside of sessions, touching us.
The list goes on.
I agree with most of this but as a therapist who has impacted thousands of lives according to their feedback. I have also had to eat dinner a few times during a Telehealth visit( my video was off and clients know and agree to this in advance), and I took permission from the client and told them if it bothers them to let me know and I only took bites while they were talking as a few circumstances occurred and I could not eat prior so it was in everyones best interest that I eat when I could rather than cancel the session. Furthermore, I too have told a client the diagnoses is not as important as in it does not define us like most think( but I always validate them first and ensure they feel safe before I say this and we have rapport) however if it is important to them to know a diagnosis because it helps them understand who they are and such then sure that is vital. My point is there can always be more to the story. and maybe it would be a good idea to state that when making these videos.
I love that you brought this up because, as always, there is no one size fits all, and some of these are more nuanced than others, as you mentioned. I should have probably mentioned that in the video, but I agree. Sometimes, if we get the client's permission, I don't see this as an issue. But we have to be very careful even when asking since many clients may struggle with truly saying how they feel. I am also from a school where a diagnosis is not always important however if the client is bringing it up, I would explore that, and I may find that comment unnecessary unless and until it's the appropriate time to share this psychoeducational information. Thank you for all you do !
@@Micheline.Maalouf I 100 % agree, understand and abide by all of this too. I do my best not too, but life happens at times to all of us! We are all humans after all. Thank you for all you do too.
dam I didn’t know that we were writing essays 💀
I love the "AS A THERAPIST THE INFLUENCED MILLION LIVES" 😂
She got the unsafe to give feedback vibe down to a T! Also with a sprinkling of indirect sexual coercion [TRIGGER WARNING]
I was single and actively dating and my therapist would NOT allow me to reject any online dating suitors that resembled herself. AT ALL. Specifically she was a plus sized woman of colour and she would become extremely disregulated and defensive to the point of being hostile snapping and almost raising her voice with me if I rejected anyone who was of her same body size or anyone who was a monoracial person of colour . I am a thin and relatively fit size 0 woman and I am only physically attracted to a similar body type for background. When I insisted no that I wasn't attracted to that person she would became even MORE hostile and defensive, and just started repeating over and over how I had hurt HER so badly in this counseling relationship and that really I was hurting her just as much as my counselor as she was hurting me as a client. She also put me under massive pressure not to partner with anyone white(I am half white). I am closer to my white side and she already KNEW this (I had told her every day of the last 4 months as well as the last two years in the context of the drop in that she also facilitated). She proceeded to make every single subsequent session for the next two months about "making me change my preferences". She also knew that I had been in multiple coercive relationships with fat women before where I was politically made to feel responsible for having sex with them and giving them love to help THEM feel included when IIIII never wanted this and IIII wound up feeling sexually coerced. She KNEW this and continued to push me RIGHT BACK IN to the VERY SAME coercive relationship patterns where bigger women use me for my body, while being trapped in a relationship with someone with the complete opposite lifestyle around health eating and movement and nutrition. (Like Great another partner I will fight with about the exact same lifestyle conflicts). I was in multiple coercive lesbian relationships with fat women whom I was guilted into giving a chance to in the first place and she knows( because i told her) that I NEVER developed attraction from being guilted into relationships. NEVER. (and she KNEW this). She CHOSE to push me back into the same relationship patterns that I was desperately seeking support to ESCAPE from just because SHE was fat-positive. I have had a hard time as a queer woman for YEARS trying to find a queer woman therapist who is NOT body-positive. Because I got burned so bad I now live with DAILY anxiety about what happened in that counseling relationship EVEN 4 YEARS LATER and am STILLL unable to trust anyone else.
Also when i had pointed out how i felt coerced she got EVEN MORE HOSTILE to the point of SCARING ME INTO SUBMISSION and just kept on yelling at me like "IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII"M NOT TRYING TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU. IF YOU ARE ACCUSING ME OF ....AS YOUR COUNSELOR!!!!"...BLAH blah blah and similar phrases yelling over me so that i could not even get a word in edgewise for almost like 40 minutes and she WOULD NOT HEAR that this was not sexual or romantic consent for me without YELLING OVER ME and REVERSE ACCUSING ME of accusing her of hitting on me and start screaming "IM NOT HITTING ON YOU".
I tend to have repeated problems with pushy suitors and coercive partners. Suitors that don't handle rejection kinda regularly become hostile or over persistent when hearing no and bully me into saying yes by repeatedly pushing every day over weeks or months until i wear down. Seeing her 4 years ago made me much more vulnerable to being worn down and more vulnerable to coercive relational abuse. I am struggling every day to survive.
So many people express interest in me every fucking day and I live with crippling anxiety and can't walk outside because of the internalized guilt rejecting the people hitting on me daily I feel like a bad person for not dating or having sex with everyone who asks.
I also get INSANE amounts of attention because of bodies and objectification. I am no longer in any way able to effectively filter that attention or filter suitors based on what I actually want because that would mean excluding everybody. Honestly if i felt entitled to my preferences of my own happiness I would be able to filter the dating pool to a number that i could actually handle interacting with each person. When I have a pool of 50 people hitting on me in a single day in the summer and 95% of them don't meet my preferences, that means i would have one person a day to talk to in a meaningful sense and actually remember their name. But 4 years later I still CANNOT filter based on my own likes and dislikes because of the IMPOSED GUILT.
Your diagnosis is NPD with huge attachments to the idea of ‘ideals’ or ‘perfection’. You’re not perfect and you have a huge problem with that. You’re so insecure but ‘so many people hit on you’- NPD overcompensation lies, I mean 50 people a day? Coming from someone who has never had an issue getting attention this sounds hilarious, you are only fooling yourself. You likely have OCD tendencies accompanying and ‘idiosyncratic rituals’ that you think are normal or unique but they’re just pathological. Strong scent of body image issues from you- I agree in terms of not regarding your partners, it’s ok to have a preference, but you have serious serious body image issues internally surrounding you and your view of yourself. This deep-rooted insecurity has built you a complex that puts you on a pedestal in your head, but also because you feel so awful, it’s paradoxical. That’s how it seems that ‘50 people a day hit on you’ but somehow you’re riddled with feeling bad, it’s a false construct made because you simply feel like trash and thinking that makes you feel better
My therapist, in our first session, scolded me somehow. I explained him that I was so young and unaware about the danger and went to my boyfriend's house after he fooled me that he wouldn't do anything to me at all. I trusted him. but he touched me in an inappropriate way, and I pretended to faint for let me go. I used the word of ra....pe, and my therapist told me that it was my fault and he said I shouldn't have gone into his house. but I wasn't that clever and aware of the danger in my 15 years old. And he said that it was not that boy's fault that fooled me and he took advantage of me. A normal person could get to this result, but he's a therapist. He wouldn't judge people. Is it a red flag? He didn't even ask me properly about my feelings or any details.
The therapist, I am currently seeing is a green flag, which is fortunate. It's important to recognize red flags as quickly as possible and discuss them with people you trust. If I discuss a therapist with a close friend of mine and they say red flag, it's important that I take that seriously. Red flags I have experienced recently are a therapist asking me inappropriate questions, teasing me, commenting on my singing, discussing other clients, and using insulting tactics to push goals.
My therapist is always late and talks about the politics i think these are red flags
The most unacceptable experience was very recent.... failure to foster safety and confidence in asserting boundaries with the narcissistic mother in session while validating every lie as she spews long winded monologue to dance around the inquiry....
....and it took presidence over thorough evidence from me (which she didn't actually refute at all).
And this is like the 15th therapist in the last 20 years going on and off with it with my family just to keep soft pedaling the emotional abuse and keeping the old wheels spinning.
One therapist I had was mad when I was telling her about texts I got from a former friend that were rude or negative. Her response was “You’re a weirdo, and that’s why you have no friends! I don’t want to hear your drama.”
😮 wtf!
@@donkykong1823 That therapist even cancelled my psychiatry chart just because I didn’t redo a program I already completed, but it was for mental health, and I struggled with an addiction. I only had 30 days before my medication ran out to find another psychiatrist’s office. I did find one, but it was the worst ever. Beggars can’t be choosers I guess lol
Also can you link me a short of yours please it was talking about fake love it said they show that they love you next min they act aggresive as it really resonates with me
THE TWO THERAPISTS I HAD WITH BETTER HELP WERE GASLIGHTING ME BY SAYING I AM WRONG FOR ME SAYING THAT I AM STARTING TO TRUST MY INSTINCTS MORE BECAUSE OF VERY BAD LIFE 🧬 EXPERIENCES I HAD. THEY BOTH HAD TOLD ME THAT I WAS BEING PARANOID.
My therapist literally eats her lunch during every single telehealth visit👀
My ex therapist would drink wine during our Telehealth sessions.
so i was going to behavioral and health iop 4 days in 4 week program and was discharged today i was pullout of the room by my psychiatrist and was told im not a good fit nothing more i tried asking why i wasn't but all she said was i was not a good fit im currently in the in the psych ward yes we can have our phones in here my psych therapist called up to iop to find out why i was discharged so early because my psych therapist said there is no reason for it then my psychiatrist said i glanced over at someone and they got uncomfortable but i didn't and got up twice to go to the bathroom those were the only 2 reasons i got discharged but my psychiatrist never told meany of that she withheld information that pertaining to me and now saying she won't accept another referral my psych therapist is pissed at my psychiatrist and said she was very unprofessional the way she handled things i was doing so good in iop the first 4 days got a lot out of it
I'll never trust another therapist. Therapy made my mental health so much worse than it already was. And now I have to pay for what they did. But I'm supposed to just keep endlessly dedicating time and money I don't have to keep hunting down therapists only to find out they suck and I would have been better off alone.
I wish my therapists said they weren't trained in trauma or whatever. Prematurely taking on clients they know based on the clients goals they can't help from an ethical standpoint.
One thing I disagree with is that therapists do not need to be well versed in different styles of therapy and don't need to be able to shift to other styles when one isn't working. Therapists can choose to specialise in one area or form of therapy and if their style does not work for a client, they can suggest referring the client to a therapist that has expertise in another style of therapy.
I think this point is where the differentiation of a red flag and what's ideal needs to be made, because all therapists can't know all styles of therapy and I think it's problematic to tell a UA-cam audience that if your therapist doesn't know a particular style of therapy that might help them, that it's a red flag. It would however be ideal for them to know several styles of therapy to draw on, particularly if they claim to treat certain presentations, they should know the main therapies that are typically used and usually successful for those presentations.
Edit: this was addressed later in the video, however, I feel it maybe shouldn't have been mentioned earlier in the video under the red flags section.
I am 69 years old so I have seen a lot. I would like to make a few observations having known both people going to therapy as well as knowing a few therapists. I have known people who went to therapy because they were forced to by their families and that proved to be a complete waste of time. I have known people who were addicted to going to therapy and would go to therapist after therapist with no results. Lately I have seen people who go to therapy because it is the trendy thing to do. These people don't want a solution they want a diagnosis. Once they receive a diagnosis, they then use that diagnosis as an excuse for their continued bad behavior. I have known therapists that had no business being therapists because they had too many unresolved issues themselves. Kind of like being an Oncologist who chain smokes cigarettes or a grossly obese nutritionist. I also know people who don't need therapy in a conventional sense, they just need someone to talk to and this is the saddest thing nowadays. People, even so called "friends" rarely just talk anymore. Sometimes, simple human interaction is all you need.
My psychologist says that lots of younger patients come for their first appointment and say "I have ADHD" or "I know I'm autistic", and expect him to immediately affirm their self-diagnosis that was made after watching 100 TikTok videos and doing a few online pop-psych tests. When he explains that anxiety, depression, ADHD, and autism all have overlapping symptoms, and that the purpose of the visits is to carefully explore all the issues at hand rather than jumping to conclusions, some clients get upset and accuse him of not believing them, or dismissing their concerns.
There are a few comments here from people who have been serial desisters with a number of different therapists. If you've consulted a half-dozen mental health professionals and found fault with every single one of them, maybe it's time to look in the mirror and accept that it's you who is the problem, not the therapists.
This lady is consistently late . This is the second and I’m a new client of hers .
I am with a toxic relationship therapy.
Where am i suppose to report her.
Kindly help.
Mine suggested to go out on a date, and I immediately lost all respect. I had made so much progress with her up to that point.
Some therapists hang out with their clients?! Also is using your medication as leverage to get you to do reccomended treatment a red flag? Like mine wanted me to do three two and a half hour long group sessions a week for the next several months or no more zoloft
😮
@@donkykong1823 I have since learned that YES yes it is very much
In one year, she increased the prices two times. It became twice more. I said my budget is not enough. Finally I had 5 sessions I didnt pay. I said I needed a break, pay my depths then I can take more appointments when I have more money. Because I felt like I’m getting into more and more depth. My therapist didnt accept. Said this is runningg away from life. I’m so suprised. Because it’s my decision. I said I wont come. She said she will be waiting for me next week. Ok so wait. What can I do. ?
Is it even taking up space in life if I follow her decisions? I think I need to follow MY decisions. I should trust MY judgements. I’m still confused by her behaviour. Maybe she her own issues about “bringing me into session.” Some kind of insecurity about success. Which is not my concern. I can give a break. When I see the need.
And if this is running away from life. So be it. I have right to run away from life too. I healed some of my wounds, I didnt heal some of my wounds. I dont understand. Do I have to? And is this way to heal me? Pushing me and taking my decision away?
What are the mental health professions DOING about bad therapists?
Why would my therapist get upset with me taking notes of the things he's saying? Especially when he throws out professional terms for no reason, interrupting me and neither explaining why he's asking me if I know of these things nor explaining himself what they are?
I went on my first therapy with my mom and it was awful I always felt he pressing eyes. After session she was angry cuz therapist did nothing what could make me "normal and healthy". 😑
Hey 😞 I'm in a really bad place right now are you accepting patients who live in Australia please I'm willing to pay extra
I said how my family abuse towards me, parents' divorce and school bullying caused me at 13 to starve my guinea pig. I had to collect grass from a meadow, even during winter and I guess I was so overwhelmed I couldn't do it anymore. My therapist said rodents die. These 'specialists'' defended physical abuse, emotional and sexual, all four of my family members were defended by different people. I guess I deserved the abuse and humiliation. Meanwhile, women who choose to marry abusive men get all the support, like my mother. I didn't choose my family, did I? I don't understand why no one wants to help me.
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭i am already struggling so much😭😭😭😭..and my therapist is giving more and more hard time for me😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭...he is often being angry at me..not letting me express myself.. threatening or demeaning whenever I don't agree with hom or don't do whatever he says. He is literally forcing to follow his suggestions..he is not at all empathetic even though I mentioned this to him a couple of times..😭😭😭😭😭
WATCH OUT !! ....end of story.
So far 3 losers. Ex. Yawning during sessions, cancel at last minute. A guy who said he was an expert in AA yet was drinking again. Asked one how i can get my partner to control their anger and abuse towards me and I laughed
Is it a red flag if your therapist tells you they were angered by you sending them an email for medical aid related purposes while they were away on holiday? Because I should be aware that even they need a break because they are human too and when they receive an email from a patient they immediately go into work and emergency mode? (Also the way she told me she was angered by me was first by listening to my own challenges as a newly trained psychologist myself, and she then affirmed that I am a human first before a therapist, and that is why she got angered by me contacting her when I know fully well what it's like to need a break and be exhausted. Be in mind, I barely ever email or WhatsApp her - basically never. She took over a month to fill out a medical aid coverage form for me, and only when I asked her if she had filled the form out she said she would get to it, and that she was sorry it wasnt done but she was so ill and sick, and needed to be on a drip recently from burnout. So in was super understanding of her and let it go. But I didnt get any feedback on whether my medical aid was approved. I dont think she needed to approach me in that blunt intimidating way when I barely ever overstep boundaries with her. I also was super considerate of her circumstance prior, and yet she thought it was ok to be that way with me. I felt manipulated in her approach. It left me feeling like I had to be super aware of her feelings and be mindful of when I email her. She even said " you knew I was coming back from my holiday around that date, so you could have emailed me then". Like was it really my job to consider all of that on her behalf? I didn't expect her to respond to the email immediately. She can get to her emails at her own time. It was clear that my mail wasnt demanding anything immediately from her. It was just a mail noting me needs around med aid/ admin stuff
Some therapists forget they work for you- she tried to justify why she let your medical aid form sit for an unreasonable amount of time- which you were more than patient about and then reacted as if it was an inconvenience to receive an email reminder after a month, it was her responsibility to attend to it sooner, she’s being paid to provide services to, in general therapists who lose sight of the fact they are paid to provide services to you and react defensively in this way is a way for them to shift their responsibility onto the client is wrong
"Just dont feel like that"
Is the most infuriating comment in my opinion
Can't these kinds of things end up in court?? Sounds like mental and emotional abuse. Isn't crossing boundaries illegal or just unethical? Of a therapist isn't using the appropriate modality and stringing you along as if their helping you, isn't that criminal??? I'd run so far from them!!
I had a therapist that did some of these things! Glad I got away from her! She seemed lazy honestly.
And I had contemplated getting out of the field. I love listening to people, their stories, their struggles. Right where I'm supposed to be. So sorry people have had such crappy experiences.
Therapists ALWAYS see some progress. They are especially fond to latch on essentially random event which was positive and claim that it is sign of improvement. Too bad that improvement they see is: a) short lived; b) usually doesn't repeat.
Having training for specific issue is worthless for multiple reasons.
The most important thing about therapists: they are all "anti physical violence" but when their colleagues make mess "nobody forced you to go there" (my country doesn't have a law about psychotherapy and current practice for MDs suggests that such law would be useless, MDs get ~2-3 years in prison after death of patient due negligence and malpractice, nobody dies in psychotherapy). Therapists don't take well when I remind them that nobody forced them to schedule session and open the doors. Even more, there are no promises in psychotherapy, but therapists don't like to be reminded that I never made a promise that they will be unharmed or even alive when I leave or sometimes later. And because everyone are responsible for themselves, if anything happens to them, it is their own fault. They are all adults and blaming other people for their own problems (wrecked joint due lock for example) is really immature and hypocritical.
Yes, therapists are very afraid to be treated like they treat clients. Especially "if all you have to offer me is 'you have to accept reality', maybe I should provide to you similar situation?"
My expectations from therapy are: waste time, waste money and results? Very basic things I wanted are simply out of reach and nobody can give me lost not years but decades. So I guess there are healthier option than, usually female therapists. Prostitutes for example. At least no fake emotions, I get something in return and psychological damage is hardly present at all. Plus way cheaper and no need to think about scheduling.
By the way, for usual therapists' gaslighting "single bad experience", I had multiple bad experiences, including with persons who are trainers and supervisors (that was the reason they thought normal rules are not applicable for them). Because I am common factor, it must be me. After all, if a woman is raped two times in her life, she is common denominator and thus it is her fault, mini skirt, heels or perfume. Or maybe there is no a "budget" for bad things in life?
Ironically, therapists cause violence.
its not my first rodeo during covid i was put on mdlive for years no therapy all of a sudden insurance changed and they tell me to go to therapy scam scam scam.
That someone causes their own anxiety is not entirely incorrect. You create it. Who or what else is if not you?
Sometimes you wander why use incredible money on a therapist av all, i rather read some good books or see UA-cam videos, many good therapists here on topics like depression , anxiety and trauma. If not incredible crippled by depression, trauma and isolation..
I am asking this just to hear others' experiences, and not trying to make huge general statements...but I have had my experiences and have heard my girlfriends' experiences AND all the posts below, and now doubt female therapists being able to not have their own shit and bias come about . I had a male therapist for many, many years, and there was a point when I wanted to try a female perspective...and I did, but within 3 sessions she did this very odd defensive thing (usually a female behavior I see in other situations) and went back to my male therapist. I then again wanted a female perspective and she happened to be my ADHD meds psychiatrist, who stepped in as therapist, too. Which was great for awhile, but once again she started doing weird digs or got defensive when i call her out on odd comments that seemed biased to either how her day was going and not necessarily about me, and moments that actually looked like she was saying words projecting her own bias against me particularly. Long story short, she literally did the SAME bullshit female defensive behavior as the woman I tried years ago. . So, just wondering a concensus. Male therapists also have their bs you have to suss out....but I can spot a sexist, narcissist a mile away, but women's behavior is just expert bullshit. any thoughts?
Religious therapists who believe in free will and look at me with moral failings.
They’re so bad
Hi!!
#1 (unpopular opinion) I find you an attractive young lady
#2 I used to go to therapy over a decade ago and never restarted when my previous therapist relocated and I wasn't comfortable due to not wanting to reintroduce my trauma to a new therapist in fear of it emotionally breaking me down, and instead I just pushed it to the back burner and tried to live life semi-normally, that came to backfire recently.
We live in an irrational psychotic society where the accumulation of profit supersedes human well being by law, and is never going to produce positive results in any area of human endeavour. The profit motive is reeking evermore catastrophic consequences on humankind, and is a death wish for every living creature on the planet that our species seems incapable or unwilling to challenge or even discuss.
I am a transistorized, transgenderized, transmogrified, trans-human
A corporatized, commercialized, industrial strength consumer
A goal setting, gym sweating, debt fretting freak
A social climbing net worker that's always on heat
I got my education majoring in indoctrination
Where they taught me to comply, to never question why
And so I'm chasing an illusion of success that's a delusion
That's sending me insane, exploding my brain
And as we teeter on the brink, soon to be extinct
I always wear a smile, coz I'm living in denial
wow why does your industry allow such people to operate and hurt others with impunity, it's almost as if it's built into the system. Why the hell is it on the client to do everything?
Therapist here, I would like to say there are many reasons this happens but let's take mainstream therapy for example such as betterhelp
It's on public record that they got sued for 7.8 million for confidentiality violations.... my opinion is that there are so many agencies that don't hold accountable the workers
It would be my greatest suggestion that If you do find a therapist, make sure they are licensed
And if they start doing shady stuff, call the state board
We need more accountability, I'm tired of therapists thinking they can say and do whatever they want with impunity