That was a sick track! I know I'm just another voice on the internet so it doesn't mean much when you're struggling to get those close to you to see the beauty of what you've created. I haven't finished a full track in the ~1 year this has been a hobby, but I do have this to offer: In this contest, it sounded to me like you had goals for two different audiences, and that may be a source of some of the emotional distress related to placing runner up. With the judges as an audience, your goal was to win. With yourself as an audience, your goal was to make something you thought couldn't be done better. As cliche as it is, the subjective nature of music has to be recognized, meaning it is not certain that both goals for both audiences can be met. For example, there is some crunch (ex 12:21) that is very wide in the listening field and kinda sounds like artifacting, which may be exactly what you want it to be, but for me it is slightly distracting. There used to be times when I would tone down, pun intended, certain sounds that I liked but I thought might be too abrasive. I've reached a point where I'm gonna make what I wanna make, and it's up to other people if they want to engage with it IF I put it out there.
Thanks for taking the time to say all that. I don't think you're wrong about the subjectivity, but I also think it's that very thing in the first place that's so maddening to me. I've been doing this as a hobby since I was 13, hoping at some point it would develop into more than just a hobby. I started over 9 years ago, and I've had to teach myself basically everything - I learned next to nothing about music in school, so basically everything I know both about electronic sound design and even just basic music theory is stuff I've had to teach myself using whatever I could find online. Obviously for the first 4 or 5 years or so, I wasn't very good, but I personally feel like I reached a point where I was talented with this stuff beyond that point. I say that just so you have the context to understand why I just feel like I'm running out of steam at this point. I've been at this so long and it's just felt like it's never gone anywhere... I've had some more time to think on this now, and I think what's really killing me here is the realisation I've been using this need to improve on previous tracks as a coping mechanism, but one that at least gives me motivation to keep going. It's always felt like a longshot that all I had to do to make any sort of progress with my music was just get better, but at the very least it felt possible. But now I've finally made a track I would truly change nothing about, at a pace faster than I ever imagined I was capable of, and managed to achieve everything I doubted I could - and nothing was different, because at the end of the day it's all subjective. Whether I've gotten any better is subjective, whether me giving it my all did anything to help is subjective, whether this track really is the great achievement it felt like to me is subjective. It's just really hard to keep believing there's a point in trying when it seems no-one can tell the difference between when you're trying and you're not, because it's all subjective. Speaking of which, I just thought I'd mention, the "crunch" is intentional, in fact that and the wideness were both things I heard were appreciated from the little bits of feedback I did get. Maybe since you pointed it out, it could sound a little better if the crunching could be more centred in the stereo image while the rest of the sound remains as wide, but other than that I wouldn't change anything there. I guess I've gotta get over all this eventually, I just don't know how.
Hey wow, you actually read and replied, much appreciated! A lot of people will quickly tell you to stop seeking external validation and focus on internal validation. But external validation is significant in the music space, especially if you want to make a profession out of it. It means you've effectively communicated the ideas behind your song. I think you may benefit from thinking about what those ideas are and how you communicate them, rather than focusing on the more technical side of how the parts you've chosen are executed. You may also want to find another hobby to prevent music making from getting stale. I flip flop between this and working on my car. IDK what else you make videos about, but people seem surprised to find out you make music so you've probably already got other stuff going on, I just wanted to add this note. One final note that may be entirely irrelevant is, in my experience, my need for external validation dropped sharply when I started taking better care of myself after getting sober a few years back. Self care might not remove the need for external validation, but it may reduce the emotional impact when it isn't received the way you expected. Or you can ignore all this unsolicited advice from a stranger on the internet. Either way, I hope you find peace.
@@soundsbynate Yea that's pretty sound advice I feel, though I will mention, I think I know what it is for me now. It's likely I've been suffering from Anxiety for a while, and I've only recently just started to find out and start looking to get some proper help with that. To be 100% honest, I kinda made this knowing this probably is the anxiety talking, but I guess also sorta just wanting to finally get it off my chest instead of keeping it in my head all the time - at least in the meantime while I'm still waiting to get some help.
You make music? holy shit thats cool
A record-breaking achievement 💜
(and a visit from the Skylanders: Giants Oracle)
That was a sick track! I know I'm just another voice on the internet so it doesn't mean much when you're struggling to get those close to you to see the beauty of what you've created. I haven't finished a full track in the ~1 year this has been a hobby, but I do have this to offer:
In this contest, it sounded to me like you had goals for two different audiences, and that may be a source of some of the emotional distress related to placing runner up. With the judges as an audience, your goal was to win. With yourself as an audience, your goal was to make something you thought couldn't be done better. As cliche as it is, the subjective nature of music has to be recognized, meaning it is not certain that both goals for both audiences can be met. For example, there is some crunch (ex 12:21) that is very wide in the listening field and kinda sounds like artifacting, which may be exactly what you want it to be, but for me it is slightly distracting.
There used to be times when I would tone down, pun intended, certain sounds that I liked but I thought might be too abrasive. I've reached a point where I'm gonna make what I wanna make, and it's up to other people if they want to engage with it IF I put it out there.
Thanks for taking the time to say all that.
I don't think you're wrong about the subjectivity, but I also think it's that very thing in the first place that's so maddening to me.
I've been doing this as a hobby since I was 13, hoping at some point it would develop into more than just a hobby.
I started over 9 years ago, and I've had to teach myself basically everything - I learned next to nothing about music in school, so basically everything I know both about electronic sound design and even just basic music theory is stuff I've had to teach myself using whatever I could find online.
Obviously for the first 4 or 5 years or so, I wasn't very good, but I personally feel like I reached a point where I was talented with this stuff beyond that point.
I say that just so you have the context to understand why I just feel like I'm running out of steam at this point.
I've been at this so long and it's just felt like it's never gone anywhere...
I've had some more time to think on this now, and I think what's really killing me here is the realisation I've been using this need to improve on previous tracks as a coping mechanism, but one that at least gives me motivation to keep going.
It's always felt like a longshot that all I had to do to make any sort of progress with my music was just get better, but at the very least it felt possible.
But now I've finally made a track I would truly change nothing about, at a pace faster than I ever imagined I was capable of, and managed to achieve everything I doubted I could - and nothing was different, because at the end of the day it's all subjective.
Whether I've gotten any better is subjective, whether me giving it my all did anything to help is subjective, whether this track really is the great achievement it felt like to me is subjective.
It's just really hard to keep believing there's a point in trying when it seems no-one can tell the difference between when you're trying and you're not, because it's all subjective.
Speaking of which, I just thought I'd mention, the "crunch" is intentional, in fact that and the wideness were both things I heard were appreciated from the little bits of feedback I did get.
Maybe since you pointed it out, it could sound a little better if the crunching could be more centred in the stereo image while the rest of the sound remains as wide, but other than that I wouldn't change anything there.
I guess I've gotta get over all this eventually, I just don't know how.
Hey wow, you actually read and replied, much appreciated!
A lot of people will quickly tell you to stop seeking external validation and focus on internal validation. But external validation is significant in the music space, especially if you want to make a profession out of it. It means you've effectively communicated the ideas behind your song. I think you may benefit from thinking about what those ideas are and how you communicate them, rather than focusing on the more technical side of how the parts you've chosen are executed.
You may also want to find another hobby to prevent music making from getting stale. I flip flop between this and working on my car. IDK what else you make videos about, but people seem surprised to find out you make music so you've probably already got other stuff going on, I just wanted to add this note.
One final note that may be entirely irrelevant is, in my experience, my need for external validation dropped sharply when I started taking better care of myself after getting sober a few years back. Self care might not remove the need for external validation, but it may reduce the emotional impact when it isn't received the way you expected.
Or you can ignore all this unsolicited advice from a stranger on the internet. Either way, I hope you find peace.
@@soundsbynate Yea that's pretty sound advice I feel, though I will mention, I think I know what it is for me now. It's likely I've been suffering from Anxiety for a while, and I've only recently just started to find out and start looking to get some proper help with that.
To be 100% honest, I kinda made this knowing this probably is the anxiety talking, but I guess also sorta just wanting to finally get it off my chest instead of keeping it in my head all the time - at least in the meantime while I'm still waiting to get some help.