The Reckoning - Original Song - Peyton Youmans

The Reckoning
Alone again after all those years
I turned to face my darkest fears
Instead of drowning in my tears
I cranked my charm game into gear
I fell into the trap of trying to have it all
I was searching for the softest place to fall
My motives were self-serving
No matter how I spun
I handled hearts so carelessly
In the name of having fun
I didn't shoot nobody
I don't even own a gun
Still I know there is a price to pay
For the worst that I have done
But it is done
I walked away from a gentle soul
Who took me in when I had no place to go
On her I know I took a toll
I was spinning out of control
When things went dark I turned to her twice she let me in
Don't you know I disappeared again
My motives were self-serving
No matter how I spun
I handled her so recklessly
Taking care of number one
I didn't shoot nobody
I don't even own a gun
Still I know that there are people hurt
By the worst that I have done
But it is done
Another one she was confused
Unaware that she was being used
I thought maybe that she was amused
I guess that we were both obtuse
I tricked myself to believing we were hearing the same song
Deep inside a knew that I was wrong
My motives were self-serving
No matter how I spun
I handled her so recklessly
Taking care of number one
I didn't shoot nobody
I don't even own a gun
But it's clear to see the wreckage
From the worst that I have done
But it is done
Now I've turned myself around
I marvel at the peacee I found
Listen close you'll hear the sound
Of my manic state come unwound
I'd undo the damage done if I could somehow
But I can do some good in the here and now
No more acts self-serving
In the name of having fun
I've learned to lead with empathy
Be a father to my son
Be kind to everybody
That's how peace of mind is won
I'll show the world there's more to me
Then the worst that I've done
Because it is done
It is done